DAILY BRIEFING  8:17 am August 26, 2009

This Is Why Obama Must Never Go On Vacation

by Sara K. Smith

  • A man with a giant restaurant sign for a head shook hands with President Obama in Oak Bluffs yesterday. What a lucky man! [New York Daily News]
  • Our ten-year projected deficit is so large that the human mind cannot grasp it, any more than it can grasp the concept of “God.” [New York Times]
  • The Afghan election looks like it’s going to be a squeaker, with the incumbent coming out just barely ahead of his challenger amid widespread allegations of vote fraud. They’ve learned so much about Western-style democracy in so little time! [Al Jazeera]
  • If only Toyota made cars that people wanted to drive, then it would not be in this dire financial situation. [Bloomberg]
  • Ted Kennedy Ted Kennedy Ted Kennedy. [Washington Post]
  • Michael Jackson’s significantly less famous brothers will harness the excitement surrounding the late pop singer’s untimely demise and try to ride it into basic cable fame, an attempt that will undoubtedly fail, but hey POINTS FOR CRASSNESS. [BBC News]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 30 comments }

freakishlystrong August 26, 2009 at 8:47 am

Dear Mr. President,
This country is bursting at the seams with armed to the teeth, certifiable crazy people. Please refrain from “date night”.

Thank you.

V572625694 August 26, 2009 at 8:48 am

Maybe now the Dumbocrats will use the 51-vote “nuclear option” to pry health care out of the committees in honor of Ted. It might mean the end of democracy as we know it (only 51 votes to do something important? OMG!) but maybe some poor kids could have health insurance.

Nah, fuck ‘em. I’ve got mine! The poor will always be with us! God must love poor people because he made so many of ‘em! Ha ha!

willdude August 26, 2009 at 8:48 am

Only those of us in the inner-circle of the Church of All Worlds can properly grok the concept of “public option”.

rmontcal August 26, 2009 at 8:59 am

“Hey honey, I got my picture taken with the President and it is going to run in the New York Daily News! Let’s buy 100 copies so that I can show everyone I know!”

“Oh crap.”

kapish August 26, 2009 at 9:00 am

Richie Rich gets his stock options; all we want is our pubic options.

Monsieur Grumpe August 26, 2009 at 9:06 am

[re=395151]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Yeah. I’ve been thinking that are probably a number of people hearing voices from god telling them that their precious bullets are the chosen ammunition. Obama needs a Kevlar jump suit when goes out into the public. He could glue some sequins on it to add some class. Kind of like Elvis only different.

Country Club Jihadi August 26, 2009 at 9:07 am

God did that restaurant dude a favor. If my nipples and elbows sweat like that, I’d wish to remain anonymous.

slappypaddy August 26, 2009 at 9:11 am

“god” and “dollar” are just two ways of saying the same thing in murka, to wit:

“in god we trust”
“in dollar we trust”

see?

(rest in peace, senator)

finallyhappy August 26, 2009 at 9:15 am

I do not believe the report on the food Barry Sorento ate- tuna tartare and ribs and steak? where are the fetuses and the Muslin and Kenyan food, huh??

Waco Bandito August 26, 2009 at 9:19 am

[re=395152]V572625694[/re]: Now that Ted is with Yoda and Obi-Wan, maybe he’ll use the force to persuade Obama to actually push for a public option.

pondscum August 26, 2009 at 9:23 am

Wow! Vacation seems to sit well with Barry. He looks great. Nice tan!

What? Never mind….

Monsieur Grumpe August 26, 2009 at 9:29 am

[re=395163]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
Memoo too idiote. Doon’t writ befor cofoe. Arrrrgh.

the problem child August 26, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=395172]finallyhappy[/re]: He is on vacation from vegetables, apparently.

Cape Clod August 26, 2009 at 9:31 am

Good choice on the restaurant. If he goes to the fucking Black Dog, I’m voting for Palin.

Waco Bandito August 26, 2009 at 9:32 am

[re=395172]finallyhappy[/re]: I’m sure Glen Beck will claim they were white-baby back ribs.

Clamps August 26, 2009 at 9:51 am

[re=395164]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: How ’bout Beardo McEyeballs in the pic gawking away at the lactating nipples?

Johnny Zhivago August 26, 2009 at 9:53 am

[re=395193]Waco Bandito[/re]: That’s the problem. Obama’s black half hates all whites. His white half hates all blacks. That’s why he wants to do everything for the Muslins and Messicans.

dum librul August 26, 2009 at 10:05 am

But does anyone understand God and Magod?

Waco Bandito August 26, 2009 at 10:21 am

[re=395203]Clamps[/re]: I thought he was looking lower, maybe at his huge welcome sign.

hobospacejunkie August 26, 2009 at 10:27 am

Michael Jackson’s significantly less talented brothers, also. And also.

They would actually feed off the corpse but after two autopsies and an embalming there ain’t much meat left and what is there has a gnarly chemical aftertaste.

finallyhappy August 26, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=395192]Cape Clod[/re]: The Black Dog has done a special t-shirt in honor of Bo. I think it says “There is another black dog on the island – Bo, 2009.” Not a joke- really!

groove August 26, 2009 at 10:39 am

So $7.1 trillion to $9 trillion, huh? Well, that’s about all I could get from that NYTimes article since I must be a member to read the rest of the story. (I’m pretty sure I got the gist of it from the headline.)

Capitol Hillbilly August 26, 2009 at 10:40 am

Sara, God is a concept by which we measure our pain. You’ll understand one day.

Min August 26, 2009 at 10:48 am

Ted’s death has made me so melancholy that I can barely bring the snark, but for the the sake of his memory, I will try.

Tuna tartar to start, then ribs and steak? No wonder the man wants universal healthcare.

SayItWithWookies August 26, 2009 at 10:51 am

Hey, at least the deficit exists.

And RIP Ted. He had a charmed life, in many ways, though even many of us poor bastards wouldn’t have traded places with him. Ted Kennedy Universal Healthcare Bill, anyone?

Cape Clod August 26, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=395238]finallyhappy[/re]: God, I fucking hate them.

finallyhappy August 26, 2009 at 11:18 am

[re=395284]Cape Clod[/re]: Never been there myself. Is it pretentious or just crappy food and/or bad service?

Cape Clod August 26, 2009 at 11:53 am

The food is lame, service sucks. What started as a homey, unpretentious eatery on the water has turned into a giant excuse to flog all manner of merchandice at exorbitant prices to tourists. A real islander wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of their stuff.

gurukalehuru August 26, 2009 at 12:55 pm

I’m thinking Jim Belushi and Joaquin Phoenix. A famous dead brother will get you in the door, but you have to have talent if you want to stay.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 26, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Our ten-year projected deficit is so large that the human mind cannot grasp it, any more than it can grasp the concept of “God.”

So the deficit doesn’t exist?

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