This Is Why Obama Must Never Go On Vacation

 
  • A man with a giant restaurant sign for a head shook hands with President Obama in Oak Bluffs yesterday. What a lucky man! [New York Daily News]
  • Our ten-year projected deficit is so large that the human mind cannot grasp it, any more than it can grasp the concept of “God.” [New York Times]
  • The Afghan election looks like it’s going to be a squeaker, with the incumbent coming out just barely ahead of his challenger amid widespread allegations of vote fraud. They’ve learned so much about Western-style democracy in so little time! [Al Jazeera]
  • If only Toyota made cars that people wanted to drive, then it would not be in this dire financial situation. [Bloomberg]
  • Ted Kennedy Ted Kennedy Ted Kennedy. [Washington Post]
  • Michael Jackson’s significantly less famous brothers will harness the excitement surrounding the late pop singer’s untimely demise and try to ride it into basic cable fame, an attempt that will undoubtedly fail, but hey POINTS FOR CRASSNESS. [BBC News]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

30 comments

  1. freakishlystrong

    Dear Mr. President,
    This country is bursting at the seams with armed to the teeth, certifiable crazy people. Please refrain from “date night”.

    Thank you.

  2. V572625694

    Maybe now the Dumbocrats will use the 51-vote “nuclear option” to pry health care out of the committees in honor of Ted. It might mean the end of democracy as we know it (only 51 votes to do something important? OMG!) but maybe some poor kids could have health insurance.

    Nah, fuck ‘em. I’ve got mine! The poor will always be with us! God must love poor people because he made so many of ‘em! Ha ha!

  3. willdude

    Only those of us in the inner-circle of the Church of All Worlds can properly grok the concept of “public option”.

  4. rmontcal

    “Hey honey, I got my picture taken with the President and it is going to run in the New York Daily News! Let’s buy 100 copies so that I can show everyone I know!”

    “Oh crap.”

  5. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=395151]freakishlystrong[/re]:
    Yeah. I’ve been thinking that are probably a number of people hearing voices from god telling them that their precious bullets are the chosen ammunition. Obama needs a Kevlar jump suit when goes out into the public. He could glue some sequins on it to add some class. Kind of like Elvis only different.

  6. Country Club Jihadi

    God did that restaurant dude a favor. If my nipples and elbows sweat like that, I’d wish to remain anonymous.

  7. slappypaddy

    “god” and “dollar” are just two ways of saying the same thing in murka, to wit:

    “in god we trust”
    “in dollar we trust”

    see?

    (rest in peace, senator)

  8. finallyhappy

    I do not believe the report on the food Barry Sorento ate- tuna tartare and ribs and steak? where are the fetuses and the Muslin and Kenyan food, huh??

  9. Waco Bandito

    [re=395152]V572625694[/re]: Now that Ted is with Yoda and Obi-Wan, maybe he’ll use the force to persuade Obama to actually push for a public option.

  10. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=395163]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
    Memoo too idiote. Doon’t writ befor cofoe. Arrrrgh.

  11. Waco Bandito

    [re=395172]finallyhappy[/re]: I’m sure Glen Beck will claim they were white-baby back ribs.

  12. Clamps

    [re=395164]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: How ’bout Beardo McEyeballs in the pic gawking away at the lactating nipples?

  13. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=395193]Waco Bandito[/re]: That’s the problem. Obama’s black half hates all whites. His white half hates all blacks. That’s why he wants to do everything for the Muslins and Messicans.

  14. hobospacejunkie

    Michael Jackson’s significantly less talented brothers, also. And also.

    They would actually feed off the corpse but after two autopsies and an embalming there ain’t much meat left and what is there has a gnarly chemical aftertaste.

  15. finallyhappy

    [re=395192]Cape Clod[/re]: The Black Dog has done a special t-shirt in honor of Bo. I think it says “There is another black dog on the island – Bo, 2009.” Not a joke- really!

  16. groove

    So $7.1 trillion to $9 trillion, huh? Well, that’s about all I could get from that NYTimes article since I must be a member to read the rest of the story. (I’m pretty sure I got the gist of it from the headline.)

  17. Min

    Ted’s death has made me so melancholy that I can barely bring the snark, but for the the sake of his memory, I will try.

    Tuna tartar to start, then ribs and steak? No wonder the man wants universal healthcare.

  18. SayItWithWookies

    Hey, at least the deficit exists.

    And RIP Ted. He had a charmed life, in many ways, though even many of us poor bastards wouldn’t have traded places with him. Ted Kennedy Universal Healthcare Bill, anyone?

  19. finallyhappy

    [re=395284]Cape Clod[/re]: Never been there myself. Is it pretentious or just crappy food and/or bad service?

  20. Cape Clod

    The food is lame, service sucks. What started as a homey, unpretentious eatery on the water has turned into a giant excuse to flog all manner of merchandice at exorbitant prices to tourists. A real islander wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of their stuff.

  21. gurukalehuru

    I’m thinking Jim Belushi and Joaquin Phoenix. A famous dead brother will get you in the door, but you have to have talent if you want to stay.

  22. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Our ten-year projected deficit is so large that the human mind cannot grasp it, any more than it can grasp the concept of “God.”

    So the deficit doesn’t exist?

Comments are closed.