The joys of motherhood.A certain Baby K. Smith is due into the world at any moment, like TODAY, and its mother will probably need to look after it for a while until it figures out how to work the safety on the shotgun and open its own beers. You will be left in the capable hands of your male editors, who will maybe force themselves to drag their asses out of bed at a vaguely human hour for the next few months.

Do you know what a blast it is to write for the Wonkette, and how deeply you, the reader, will be missed during these upcoming months of sleep deprivation and poop duty? A whole lot, is the answer. Wish us luck. We will see you in December.

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Buzz Feedback

    Wow. Congratulations. First child? Hold on. If not, you know the drill. Carry on.

  • TGY

    OMG! OMG! Congrats! *HUGS* Good luck, and so forth, with the Spawn of SKS.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    This is why your kind don’t belong in the foxhole, shootin’ babies out of every orifice and such. Err, I mean congrats.

  • Grandpa Cornpants

    Best wishes and thanks for your hard work!

  • snideinplainsight

    Wow, who knew??1? Best wishes and God bless –

  • dum librul

    Congrats, female editor Sara. I was not aware you were teh preggarz.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    Yay! We’re more fun than sleep deprivation and poop duty!

    Congratulations, Momma K. Smith et al. We’ll miss you.

  • Lucky2130


  • hoosiermama

    Oh my goodness! Congratulations to a great editor from a fan you do not know but is happy all the same and wishes you the best. Sleep when the baby sleeps!

  • finallyhappy

    Good luck and enjoy the baby. Send pictures.

  • Joehoya

    See what happens when you have sex? Let this be a lesson to us all.

  • mardam422

    So how is writing, or reading for that matter, the Wonkette not considered poop duty?

    And is “poop duty” redundant?

  • Terry

    Congratulations, Sara!

    The male editors of Wonkette have probably prepared you pretty well for what you’ll encounter when Baby K. Smith reaches two years old or so. The teen years, as well.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Good luck, Sarah, I’ll miss you most of all. Sleep is overrated. For what it’s worth I have a new puppy, so I can sort of relate. Only instead of 3am feedings I have 3am poopings. But anyhoo….all the best. Hurry back.

  • freakishlystrong


  • Mr Blifil

    Oh shit. Of fuck. Honey, do you feel hot? Do you want a washcloth. Where are my GODDAMN KEYS??? Do you think I should ask a cop car if they will escort us to the hosp…FUCK SARAH IS THAT WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR? Why are you so freakishly calm, I haven’t even packed your mix CDs yet? Enya. Lots and lots of Enya. OH GROSS I THINK ITS ALREADY CROWNED where is the FUCKING DOULA???

  • Big Liver

    I will miss your exquisite taste and sublime wit. Very best of luck, and thank you.

  • TurdBlossom

    Wow, congrats SKS! You will be missed, a great deal. I trust this child’s nursery is already decorated with animated Blingees.

  • nbawriter

    My fish swim!

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=397188]Joehoya[/re]: Not when you keep it to the butsecks. Or, you could just swallow all the babies.

  • Hopey dont play that game

    All the best to you and baby. Name suggestions:
    Girl: Palin Bachman Smith
    Boy: Bronk Drywall or Rock Hammerbreaker Smith

  • Bliz

    Congratulations! Best of luck with your little poop machine.

  • Rodney Badger

    They mainly sleep during the first few months. After your body recovers from the act of producing an object-signficantly-out-of-proportion-from-whence-it-exits you should be able to offer some bloggings every four hours or so.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    What have you been up to Sara?

    Congratulations and a toast to health and happiness to you and your child!

  • takes12no1

    Congrats SKS! Remember a baby swing is very useful and can be easily moved into the bathroom so you can take a shower even when baby is awake…and when they get older they can take a shower with you.

  • Godless Liberal

    Dang, y’all, she told me she was a virgin.

  • Gopherit

    Oh, Sarah, congrats!. And how awesome is it to have FMLA from a job that no reasonable person would have called work anyway?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Is the baby daddy, Newell?

    Congrats SKS.

  • leave me at your own risk

    Congratulations & good luck!

  • mardam422

    Congratulations!!!11! Best to you and the newest K. Smith. Oh, yes, the father too, whoever he may be.

    This is excellent news for John McCain.

  • jasper f. krone

    Congratulations! Toddler F. Krone is offering to babysit.

    Will it have it’s father’s eyes?

  • Big Liver

    They can take a shower with you from day one; I did that with all four of mine, and it was great.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    Congrats. Is the sperm donor as fetching as you? Cuz if so, that will be one perfect child.

    Oh, and you gave yourself away as a first time momma by mentioning “months” of sleep deprevation. That’s cute. Try YEARS, darling.

    Best wishes in the history of wishes.

  • isadelia

    Wow, congratulations! But do we really have to be left with boys? Will Juli at least be posting more?

  • mardam422

    I, for one, welcome our new poop covered, wide awake at 3AM, projectile vomiting overlords.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Yay! Congrats, Sara — and I’m so glad you finally mentioned this, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to spill about your upcoming Smithling and haven’t. Anyway, best wishes and I hope you still surface from time to time, ’cause I’m going to go into SKS withdrawal if you don’t.

  • Come here a minute

    Good luck!

    What I want to know is how did this not leak out? Particularly with all the leaking out you’ve been dealing with the last few months, plus immense amounts more (INCLUDING FROM NEW PLACES) in the coming months. More joys!

  • Jim89048

    You mean that Palin Memorial Empathy Belly (TM) was REAL?

  • Curved

    Congrats, SKS! I sher will mis yer purdy reye-tinz’ Can I have your Purity ring since, you known, you don’t need it?

  • magic titty

    Holy crap – and you’ve been blogging all this time??? Ken Layne is an evil, evil bastard.
    Anyway, Muchos Congratulations, SKS!

    So, next Wonkette editor to get pregnant will be…Riley??

  • trickyrick

    Just think how awesome Sarah K. Smith will be when she gets over the whole ‘pregnancy shrinks your brain’ syndrome.

    Come back when your brain is back to normal? Yes? All righty then. Best wishes to you and family….congratulations.

  • Neilist

    Actually, with the right load and a steady hand, you can open beers with a shotgun.

    Difficult, true, but theoretically possible. You know, like a “Non-Libidiness Kennedy”? Or a “Kennedy Who Has Not Killed Someone Using A Motorized Vehicle”?

    But more to the point: GOOD LUCK, SARA!!!! (Blame the father for the contractions, even if the “father” is only a turkey baster.)

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Don’t look at me. My alibi is solid.

  • Noodle Salad

    Today we are all your baby.

  • OReillysVibrator

    Poop duty? This kid, without doing any work, is going to have someone change his or her diapers? THIS is socialism. It’s time people stop freeloading off the government’s (or in this case, the mother’s) teat. For shame Sara.

  • trickyrick

    [re=397216]mardam422[/re]: word. the tiny tyrants are always the best.

  • Doglessliberal

    To what address do we send Baby’z First TruckNutz (TM)? And are you going with the traditional blue/pink scheme or can we get some camo or USA flag Nutz for the little one?

  • house of the blue lights
  • twowheeljunkie

    WOW! Congratulations.

  • An American in Toronto

    Some more big congrats and enjoy this time with the Smithlet. The real fun begins when they start to move and you can’t leave them on the bed all day.

  • Heywood Jablome

    I haz a sad cuz U iz mah fayvrite heer.

    But it’s for a good cause – countering the overwhelming tide of idiocracy.

    May this child grow strong on your intellect, vocabulary, cultural references (hi and lo), and, most of all, your cleverness. Oh yeah, better throw some love in the mix. Love seems to be good for kids.

  • Kaylub

    Congratulations and good luck; do share a baby picture (onece it gets all darling, not when it’s all red and squishy and looks like a naked mole rat)

  • facehead

    I thought she only did anal.

    JK SKS, gratz and GL!!!

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=397220]Curved[/re]: How presumptuous! Are you sure that Sara is not about to give birth to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (v.2)?

  • ella

    Today??? Wow, congratulations! (And kiss your sleep goodbye.)

  • tootsieroll

    Whew! Snuck that one in under the wire before all the mandatory abortions!

    SKS, I am very happy that someone of your intellect and wit has chosen to reproduce. Also.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=397215]isadelia[/re]: Fear not! We can press Waggaman into service as a tranny blagger.

  • patrickman

    This birth is an affront to Trig

  • dum librul

    I feel all speshul and stuffs since today is my birthday too. So now me and new baby Trig will have something to share forever.

  • commiegirl

    OH MY GOD YOU ARE HAVING AN OBAMA BABY! I am so happy for you, and for Obama! Good job!

  • charlesdegoal

    Mes felicitations, Madame. As for those late-rising male editors, shame on them indeed: it’s almost noon (or dix-huit heures, as they say here) and we haven’t hear a pip from them.

  • Bronkers

    Best wishes, new mom Sara. Here’s hoping your obstetrician has small, sure hands and that you and NewBaby K. Smith will be healthy and whole. As to happy, we Wonketteers have no doubts on that score.

  • 4tehlulz

    I’m sorry, I was so offended by Curved that I forgot to say congratulations, not only for the child, but also for the epidural. Cuz that’s the shit right there.

  • JohnnyMac

    Congrats on the kid but please don’t pull a Palin and fly to Alaska after your water breaks.

  • yargisbargis

    Congrats. The real fun begins when they discover the artistic capabilities of the stuff inside their diaper.

  • annievt

    This is excellent news for your readers. Nothing exercises the snark muscle like a newborn and sleep deprivation. The picture says it all!

    Good luck with s/he who must be obeyed!

  • Min

    Have a wonderful baby, Sara! And keep it away from Fox News during its formative years.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=397217]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I can’t BELIEVE you didn’t tell ME, at least. I was all just thinking, “Shit, now, Wookies clearly knew this if they were out drinking and Jim was pretty much hooked up to an IV drip of whiskey and Sara was being all prim with soda water – WHY COULDN’T HE SHARE THIS TIDBIT?!?! I can keep a secret!”

    Congrats, Sara. Good luck with all of the various duties, and remember that most infants, after the age of 3 months, can hold up to a good outdoor powerwashing. I will truly, truly miss your witty observations for the next… however long it will be.

    Also, I very much doubt that there will be any content on the web before 11AM Pacific Time. Can any of the exotically-named interns wake up before 3PM or anything?

  • greywindz

    [re=397221]magic titty[/re]: Ditto. Well congrats Sara, I will miss your lessons of life…Hail from India…

    Just one question…where did you manage to get that appropriate “joys of motherhood” photo?

  • hockeymom

    Congrats! Kids are the best (on most days).

    Two bits of advice:

    1. Natural childbirth is overrated. As is your OB. Start kissing up to the nurses and anesthetist RIGHT NOW. They are your new best friends.

    2. If you have a baby boy, do NOT coo over him as you change his diaper. He will pee straight into your open, “ooh, isn’t he cute”, mouth.



    Finally some evidence that at least one of the Wonkette editors prefers sex somewhere other than the butt.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Um, was there going to be a naming contest for this little monster?

    I vote for “Wesson”, in honor or Neilist.

  • hockeymom

    Oh, and make sure you get a copy of the birf certificate.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Um, naming contest? I vote for “Wesson”, in honor of Neilist.

  • The Cold Sea


  • slappypaddy

    aw right! poppin out another libtard. way to go, sara!

    (if you haven’t done this baby thing before, be prepared to be exhausted beyond what you believed to be the limits of human endurance. if you have done it before, no sweat, right? nappie goes around the middle parts, binky goes in the pie-hole, and the little piggies go wee-wee-wee all the way home.)

  • Maxine of Arc

    Mazel tov! (Make sure to get the long form berf certificut…)

  • Magog

    Many congratulations, Momma K. Smith, and a warm (pending) welcome to the newest Wonketteer!

  • MARCdMan

    Congratulation SKS, we’ll miss you around here, post baby pics!!!

  • the problem child

    Congratulations and enjoy the new adventure with all the new equipment which you are about to discover. If it makes obnoxious noises and seems to entrance the child, is a baby toy, even if it was formerly a sex toy or meant for the dog.

  • jodyleek

    Babies are like little Dick Cheneys – wrinkled, snarling, non-ambulatory fiends. They scare the crap out of you and keep you up at night wondering what truly awful thing they are going to do next.

    Have fun!

  • hockeymom

    [re=397258]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Wesson + Smith. Good one!

  • nbawriter

    Oh, and good luck … I’m sure Wonkette has a super-awesome healthcare plan.

    Try to not get any afterbirth on the faux leather backseat of Layne’s Datsun.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    Congrats! I’m thrilled to see the proud Wonkette line being carried on!

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=397251]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Forgive me, dear — awful secret-keeper that I am, I didn’t want to put anyone else in the position of bearing such knowledge, as it was a veritable labor of Hercules for me to keep quiet about.

    Oh, and SKS, if you were going to name the child SayItWithWookies K. Smith in honor of my fierce and proven devotion, I would be honored. Of course your child might hate you forever, but at least you’d get that aspect of parenting out of the way early.

  • swgm

    I thought Obama was personally escorting all pregnant women to the abortion clinics? You must have sneaked under the radar while he was praying to Mecca or something. Anyway…congratulations!

  • Jewdishoowary Square

    Congrats, Sara! And don’t worry — parenting is just like moderating Wonkette commenters, except you only have to handle one loud, immature, attention-seeking shit machine at a time.

  • stink, but

    Congrats, Sara! But, uhm seriously, what is this? Obamacare ain’t passed yet. Pop that kid out and then it’s BACK TO WORK!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=397258]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Shut up. You said it once. No need to say it again.

    [re=397270]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I forgive you. And I think “Wookie” is actually kind of a cute nickname, but then, I am a hipster stuck in a nerd’s body.

  • slappypaddy

    now, sara, i don’t know if anyone’s said this yet because i’m speeding through this because my boss wants me to do some work and bosses and babies share some characteristics regarding needing to be tended to, but along with congratulations and best wishes, if this is your first, remember this please — there will be times when your baby will make you mad. when this happens, put the baby down (safely) and walk away. compose yourself, then you’re back on duty. no sweat, right? and never hesitate to ask for help. you and your baby deserve all good things.

    may the good lord
    shine a light on you
    let every song you sing
    be your favorite tune

  • DemmeFatale

    We’ll miss you!

    Enjoy these poop-filled years, because once you have a teenager…(well never mind).

  • dennymcden


  • Leopolt

    Congrats! Best of luck! Savor every day.

  • Moleman v2.5

    As a parent of two under 5 (whimper) I wish you the best.

    There’s still time to beat the Duggar family quiver-full if you really apply yourself, and after the first 10 or so you can make the older ones take care of the younger ones while you Twitter or start up a meth lab or something.

  • missannethrope

    A toast to The Year One!

  • Airborne Toxic Event

    DVR your favorites for those late-night feedings.

  • BadKitty

    But…but…. if you’re pregnant that means you must have had sex!

    What’s it like?

  • Guppy06

    With the marvelous invention of the notebook computer, an editor doesn’t even have to get out of bed at all! Think of all the witty and insightful articles that can be composed from the bathroom!

  • JadedDIssonance

    Dear SKS Please give your child the same initials as you: Super Kid Smith.

    ObamaBoomers. Do us proud!

  • Death Panel Wagon

    Congrats! Today we are all your babies.

    PS. just wait til the kid learns to shotgun beers, aussi.

  • yellowdogdem

    Oh thank God! Another libral soon to be born into the world. Enjoy and thanks for making my lunch hour a laugh fest every day!

  • seriesoftubescleaner

    Congrats and good luck with baby Smitty.

  • Dreadful Gate


  • Studge

    [re=397257]hockeymom[/re]: Can’t believe it took someone this long to make that comment. But, seriously, GET A GODDAMNED BIRTH CERTIFICATE faxed to your secret delivery center in Kenya. You’ve already planted the delivery notice in an American newspaper, right?

    Sara K., just rock the delivery and enjoy all of the happy moments with your wee newborn. I become a first-time daddy just over a year ago, and have loved every minute of it since. That even includes the 13 months that we used HIPPIE CLOTH DIAPERS for Studge, Jr., and I had to plop the poopies out before putting them in the hamper. LOVE IT!

  • MattW

    Congrats SKS! I’m sure I speak for the entire commentariat when I say that our babysitting services are at your disposal.

  • Meaux

    I assume Barry’s the father, in keeping with his plan to turn this country socialistmuslimkenyan by impregnating all the white womens. In which case: man, how was he? All we dreamed of? Oh, and congrats! Yes, do sleep when the baby sleeps and stay strong and we will miss you terribly but we will also stay strong. Because its much easier to stay strong when no one is screaming in our houses at night. Best of luck with all that!

  • S.Luggo

    Will there be pictures?

  • dementor

    [re=397208]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Someone had to ask. But Sara, many congratulations and best wishes with the tadpole. You’ll be the fun mom, no question. If you’re taking name suggestions, how about the obvious (Ba-Rock)? Otherwise, Trog, Trick, Trap, Trot, Troop (for the), or a more feminine version, as needed.

  • suchsweetthunder

    [re=397199]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Oh let me try!!!

    Boy: ReLOVEution (“Jonah”) Trucknutz, III
    Girl: Unicorn Hobobeans (“Meghan”) Diamond

    Srsly though: You made another person. That’s kind of crazy awesome/fucking amazing.

  • Doglessliberal

    Here is a tip: read some classics, not picture books, to the baby during those long, late nights. Huckleberry Finn or The Old Man and the Sea or Robinson Crusoe is a lot easier to read than a fiftieth iteration of the Very Hungry Caterpillar. It soothes the baby and keeps you sane.

  • loquaciousmusic

    The world needs another good liberal.

    Congratulations, Sara.

  • Big Irish

    Cheers, Sara! Good luck, we’ll miss you, and post the pics so we can all partake of the magic.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=397317]Doglessliberal[/re]: also, anything Roald Dahl wrote.

  • rambone

    Congratulations Sara! Hopefully you will serve as an example to libruls everywhere and we’ll start outbreeding the righties for a change.

    On second thought, poop duty and sleep deprivation sounds like too much work to expect from the rest of my lazy welfare-receiving, pot-smoking brethren. Perhaps the Dems should hurry up and just legalize the Mexicans instead. They seem to like to procreate.

  • blinky_twinkie

    Yay for the imminence of additional snark brilliance!!! Congratulations to all, and snarky but heartfelt blessings.

  • The Station Manager

    Congratulations, breeder! Wait, can I say that if I’m not A Big Gay? Well then just pretend I’m A Big Gay when I said that.

  • Extemporanus

    Wow, Sara! You just saw Randall Terry, like what, two days ago? And you’re already due?! He really is pro-life!

    Congrats on the shortest gestation period evah, and best wishes that your wee one arrives healthy, happy, and with as delicious-looking a placenta as Joel Klein’s kid.

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    Damn, I always wondered what goes on at the Wonketter editorial meeting.

    Congratulations sweets!

  • wheelie

    WOW congratulations Sara! We’ll miss you. Best wishes to you & Baby and hurry back xx

  • HillaryIsMyHomegirl

    Congrats Sara! Although I assume you are aware that under the impeding rules of the new socialist health care legislative doom; in order to receive funds for the birthing you need to turn over one old person abusing both Medicare and Social Security to the death panels as recompense for your insistence on adding to the population and overburdening the health system. Hope you’ve got that covered….

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    AHA! That’s the reason why you’ve been so suspiciously nice when writing about Levi Johnson. Hearty congratulations, SKS, and good luck!

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Congrats, Sara. I will now redirect my “having sex with pregnant Wonkette editors” fantasy onto Newell, because I”m not a sexist pervert.

  • Kingbee

    Remember to get MANY copies of it’s birth certificate, and not the “short form”, but the fucking fictional “long form”, with raised stamps, for chrissake. Also, I hope the baby is born on U.S. owned territory, and both parents are already citizens, and what else, hmmmm, let me see. Get the placenta signed by the obstetrician, midwife, doula, etc. with indelible black marker, and freeze it, for future DNA matchup. And several copies of the birth announcement in the newspaper, if one still exists where you live. Otherwise, you can forget about all that “One day you can grow up to be President” stuff.
    Otherwise, good luck and congratulations!

  • Tundra Grifter

    Well, that certainly explains the perky breasts.

    Make sure you get the birth announcement in the local newspapers! You’d be amazed how that can come in handy in another four decades or so…

    Best wishes to you and yours! Having children is the parallel universe of life. Those who don’t never really understand what they have missed!

    And tell the happy Father – next time: Tube sock.

  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    Well Congratulations! This is certainly a shock, because I thought the editors of the Wonkette were all a-sexual robots of some sort. ** confuzzled **

  • S.Luggo

    So, you’re telling us that you can’t work from home ’cause of the kid? And pray tell, what are house servants for? Just mixing cocktails?

    PS: Send me the placenta.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=397308]Meaux[/re]: I’m sure that Mdme. Smith is too much of a lady to “Barack” and tell, but I have it on good authority that Obama’s “Birth Panels” are absolutely fucking spectacular.

    Think of the orgy scene from Caligula, only with fewer goats and more Barry White.

  • glamourdammerung

    You obviously celebrated the election a lot more thoroughly than I did.


  • Tommmcatt

    Oh yes, there will be poop. Unimaginable, lovecraftian , endless poop. It will be in places you never thought were in-poop-able.

    But you will love it. That is the paradox of parenthood., or so they tell me.

    Congratulations, though. The baby couldn’t ask for a wittier parent.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Good luck, Sarah. Order the epidural STAT (like yesterday), yes it hurts more than anything you will ever experience, it’s completely your hubbie’s fault, and you CAN get pregnant while nursing. (We call those babies ‘Arkansas twins’.)

    Also, make sure you get a copy of your baby’s birth certificate (long form)–you can order it while you’re in the hospital. Good luck & oh, that breathing shit doesn’t work worth a damn — GET TEH DRUGS!

  • WagTehGod

    Which Wonketteer is the father? Fess up..

  • Flanders

    Be sure to keep that birf certificate in a handy ziplock bag.

  • rubybuckaroo

    There is nothing I can add that hasn’t already been posted and more elegantly than I for sure.

    This is wonderful news. I think your child will have a terrific Mom. And, oh my what amazing sentence structures when the little one begins talking.
    And sad too. I will miss your morning briefings and more. Although the male editors will capably handle the duty, there is nothing like the SKS sensibility. We will miss you!!

    Be well. ‘See’ you sooner.

  • V572625694

    Wonderful. Congratulations. A new snarkista is born.

  • El Pinche


  • DemmeFatale

    Be sure to tell the OB that you want to take the placenta home for the dog. (Ours didn’t find this funny, but yours might.)

  • El Pinche

    Say hello the world of poop. Congrats.

  • MathewBrooks

    Congratulations! You will be missed.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=397353]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: One more thing. Don’t let father in law & uncles near THAT end of you during the birthing. Makes for an uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner, esp. when the turkey with the trussed legs is brought out…

  • WadISay

    Oh my gosh, I had no idea. Well, congratulations and happy delivery! This will be an interesting experience to see the effects of in utero exposure to snark. Monsieur Grumpe, begin boiling water at once!

  • SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    Well that explains the wild mood swings these past few months.

    Three months? Mine took seven to learn gun safety, but she comes from lesser stock.

    Best of luck.

  • the problem child

    [re=397323]The Station Manager[/re]: To my mind, breeder applies to those who breed, whether straight or gay or something else. I think those who use the term (non-breeders, all) should get the same latitude.

  • One Yield Regular

    Fantastic! Congratulations. And for whatever it’s worth, I think Baby K. Smith is a terrific name – cute, wonketty and dashingly gangsterish all at the same time.

  • Norbert

    Lucky duck! But does this mean you will have to get, you know, a proper job? If you do come back to Wonkette, I would tell junior about what you do as early as possible to avoid him/her finding out as a teenager or something which could be traumatic. Enjoy that baby!

  • ifthethunderdontgetya”

    Congrats, SKS!

  • DP

    Well shucks, congratulations and such…In one model of the universe, the worthy departed spirit returns to inhabit a new body, fresh and strong, after having discarded the weary mortal flesh of the previous life.

    So say hi to Ted Kennedy when he’s delivered.

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=397364]DemmeFatale[/re]: I asked if they were going to eat all of that myself.

  • I Am Not Your Gary Busey

    [re=397256]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I vote for Tony the-Tiger!!! Smith (yes the exclamation points and hyphen are part of the proper name (have fun with the SAT with that name kid))

  • crookedE


  • martinette

    Congrats and thanks from me, too. Sometimes with 3 am feedings come 3 am postings…

  • MFitz

    Quick! Get on that plane to Kenya so one day this kid can be preznit! Also.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    [re=397353]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That’s wonderful. Never heard Arkansas Twins before. Doubly funny because I’m in Arkansas and one of my (not usually dumb) friends just got knocked up while she was breastfeeding. Well hopefully not WHILE she was breastfeeding, but you get the point.

  • WagTehGod

    Also, does any baby had by a Wonkette editor that didn’t involve teh buttsecks qualify as a virgin birth, also?

  • Todomy

    Stats stats stats, who needs stats. Let’s just pay attention to hyperbole like the wingnuts do.

    “I don’t know anyone who is ACTUALLY supporting X, it must be a liberal media conspriacy.”


    “Everyone I know are havin’ kids, even transexual couples, must be a right wing conspriacy.”

  • King of the Dipshits

    [re=397264]MARCdMan[/re]: [re=397311]S.Luggo[/re]: Congratulations that is truly great. However, I am not sure I would recommend posting pictures of one’s baby to Wonkette – social services might end up becoming involved.

    Also, if your looking for baby names, the Sarah Palin baby name generator gives you “Axe Diesel Palin” if you start with Baby K. Smith.

  • NebraskashireGentry

    [re=397175]Buzz Feedback[/re]: you can tell its not her first child because she said the true fact that baby will figure out the safety on the shotgun itself…accidents happens when over-cautious mom gets involved.

    thanks, SaraKSmith, for giving one a reason besides a beautifully glazed Christmas ham to anticipate December.

  • spryte

    Congratulations, Sara!

    According to Real Americans, because I am a woman who doesn’t want children AND who volunteers at Planned Parenthood, I’m supposed to hate babies. But I don’t! Especially ones like yours, who will never be close enough to me to spray me with pee, poop, barf or whatever other god-awful thing they emit.

    ENJOY! :) We’ll miss you!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I’ll bring the towels you bring the bagpipes.

    Sara, we do get to name the kid… right?

    For a boy how about Zippo, Manfred. or Michael Valentine?

    For a girl Squeaky, Empress of the Universe or Beatrice?

  • SmutBoffin

    Babby pix plz! If the kid has the SKS cheeks it will be the cutest child born in all of history forever.

  • bjkeefe

    I had no idea, Sara. Congrats, best wishes, and a repeat of everything good I’m sure everyone else has already said above. I will miss you more than you will miss me. I hope you still throw up a random post now and then, or at least jump into the comments here.

    Again, best.

  • user-of-owls

    Heavens to Betsy, who knew?! Well, besides those in physical proximity to Mom K.

    No jokes, certainly no snark…just a super-sized e-hug of appreciation and every last best wish in the world.

  • Jim89048

    Welcome to the world, Gog K. Smith…

  • EmSharp

    Congratulations, Sara! Enjoy your time off and have a blast with your little one. We’ll miss you though!

  • SmilingMightyJesus

    Six weeks should be enough. Does Wonkette gives you the French Benefits? We will miss you terribly.

  • ladymacbeth

    many congrats SKS! wishing you a peaceful and easy time of it, a beautiful baby and where possible, fast rest.

    who will be doing the exciting morning shift? b/c steve inskeep has been on a roll with republicans…

  • Suds McKenzie

    Wow, even Neilist was nice, and someone somehow worked Butsecks into it. xxxooo!!1!

  • NJB

    Wonderful news (to me, it’s news at any rate)! Best of luck, Sara! You have insurance, right?

  • HomoSuperior

    Sara, congrats! It always makes me happy to see young, attractive, educated liberals reproducing. We need to balance out all the Palins of the world. WONKETTEERS, TO RUT! DO YOUR PART! Mozel Tov!

  • gurukalehuru

    If it’s a boy, don’t name him Orrin. That is a seriously stupid name. Or Arlen. Also.

    much love, gurukalehuru

  • missevans

    I knew there’d be something momentous to comment on eventually. Congratulations!!!

  • jesusbutter

    Blessings upon you and the new wee one, SKS. You are my favorite and I shall certainly miss your wit in the next few months. Unsolicited Advice (a seasoned mother’s perogative and duty): trust your instincts, start paying attention to your local school board now, and don’t be hesitant to ask for help. Oh, and changing tables are a complete waste of money.

  • Fat Man


  • NewAlgier

    Congrats! Just saying, but we moved to Canada to have our kid for the year of mat leave. December will be here in a blink of an eye.

  • PerhapsSo

    Congratulations, Sara! We will miss you. But now I can look forward to Spawn K. Smith’s first blog post, assuming s/he inherits the funny gene. That’s an unexpected bonus.

    Is there a registry? Can we send you diapers or Truck Nutz or an Obama onesie something?

  • montresor

    Oh no oh no oh no, not the FUNNY one! I’ll have to find some way to live till December, I just won’t laugh as heartily. Maybe I won’t laugh at all. Oh, I’ll probably chuckle here and there, maybe tee-hee up my sleeve from time to time, but I suspect that pretty soon I’ll be lamenting, like that screechy guy from Led Hindenburg, “Does anybody remember LAUGHTER?” Well, congratulations and all, imminent baby will have the advantage of growing up in one of the funnier households in America. “Take my mom — please!”

  • McDuff

    Congratulations! However, Baby K. will need more than a mere birth announcement in local paper to vet citizenship claim — inviting Glenn Beck and Lou Dobbs in as witnesses just might keep the birtherism to a minimum in 2044. As a bonus, you can curse at them all you want and then blame the pain, the drugs or both.

  • JeffGoldblum

    When will this child be eaten?

  • Odd Ass City

    Who will live-blog the birth, and will there be drinking games?

  • PerhapsSo

    Ooh, one more thing: Definitely print out this post for the baby book. Sure, the anal comments might scar your child for life, but it’s still better than naming the baby Trig.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Congratulations! I will miss you in the morning. On the other hand, I can now sleep in, safe in the knowledge that I won’t miss the first several posts. No way Newell is getting up at 8am.

  • drrty martini

    Oh, SKS, congratulations! I’ll miss starting off my day with references to defiled pop-tart boxes and tube socks.


    congrats !
    their laughter is the best part.

  • Dreamer

    Congratualations SKS! Whatever you do, please don’t name the baby anything close to Trig. We will miss you.

  • BerkeleyFarm

    Congratulations SKS and best wishes for a safe and easy delivery and a happy, healthy, and inclined-to-sleep little one!

  • WadISay

    SKS, while you are waiting to give birth, you might pass the time by filling out his/her applications to the best prep schools in town.

    [re=397414]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I like “Jesus” (pron. Hey-zeus)

  • twitterpaters

    Congratulations and best wishes!

  • TJBeck

    Not much time left for your mandatory Omamabortion!

    (Seriously though, good luck and congrats.)

  • Come here a minute

    Talk about a Friday news dump.

  • qaf

    Best wishes for an easy labor, a healthy baby, and an excellent recovery.

    Does this mean Intern Juli has been sent into the Memory Hole? (That’d be sad, she fits right in.)

  • Atheist Nun

    Congrats, SKS, on the impending arrival of your Wonkette-ette!

    I had a baby once, (the product of a certain night spent cleaning out the sacramental wine cellar) but they took it away at the nunnery and gave it to a politician and his wife to use as a campaign prop.

  • Kinkster

    ew, squishy.

  • superfecta

    Congrats! I found beer in the hospital was a big help. Also when baby cries. Or if you’re out for a meal with baby. Really, anytime works – this is why my 4 year old asks me, ‘Mommy, is that hoppy or malty?’

  • vitira

    [re=397237]tootsieroll[/re]: Sadly, this unaborted Obamababy will now live in fear of the death panel its entire life. I hear the first one is in the delivery room–if you don’t weight enough the baby will be late-term aborted and sent to meet Allah.


  • Nappied Hypotenuse

    I am sooo late to this thread. But I want to say that I consider myself one of your linguistic children already. Congrats.

  • sludjbunni

    Be firm, fly low, we got your back. But the diaper thing? Enjoy.

  • Oldskool

    Congrats bigtime. Apparently another job well done.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=397411]King of the Dipshits[/re]: I wasn’t talking about pitures of the kid.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=397414]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Pegatha.

  • dogscantlookup

    have fun

  • chascates

    Congratulations! And if you have bought any yet you’ll need at least two Diaper Genies. Also a 1.75L of whatever you prefer for the day of the birth.

  • Hello Sunshine

    I imagine half the noises Smith Jnr makes over the next six months or so will be more intelligent than Ken’s ponderings… Come back soon, SKS, you will be missed.

    PS: You’re not in Kenya right now or anything are you?

  • trondant

    What a lucky kid – there was never a mobile made out of TruckNutz in my crib.



    Congrats on getting that TO DO list taken care of for today:

    1) Write witty blog.
    2) Pick up booze and bacon at Whole Foods.
    3) Give birth.

    You go girl.

  • desertwind

    Wishing you luck!

    Lords knows, the gurgling, mewling, puking, and pooping from your wee little newborn will be less babyish than the shit from those Republican brats.

  • Joey Ratz

    Huzzah! Congratulations! Also, getting you back in December will be the bestest Chrismas present ever!

    [re=397353]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: My neighbour calls those “Irish twins”. And she should know, as she has several of them.

    [re=397352]Tommmcatt[/re]: “Unimaginable Lovecraftian endless poop” would be a fantastic band name. But what genre of music would the thusly named band play?

  • chascates

    And we expect the little blessing to be named:

    Trucknutz Buttsecs Smith

  • ZombieRichardFeynman

    Congratulations, SKS! The next dozen years will be some of the most fulfulling of your life, followed by anywhere from 5 to infinite years where you will be humbled into realizing that you really have no control and very little influence over the events of the scariest years of your life. Anyone who believes in the basic rationality or goodness of people has never had a teenager. Send ’em all to Donkey Island. And get off my lawn.

  • AxmxZ

    OMG, a baby Wonketteer! Congrats!!

  • Flanders

    Listening to Mother share stories about how s/he was joyously conceived on Obama’s election night could possibly turn this child into a staunch conservative. Beware the backlash.

  • Numbat Dundee

    So when did you start dating Levi?

  • AutomaticPilot

    Congrats! And we shall miss your wit for sure! Enjoy the baybee.

  • Dog Trombone

    By this time, I hope baby K is already here. But I wanted to add my belated ‘congratulations,’ my redundant ‘Lord_I’m-gonna-miss-your-morning-wit,’ and my utterly assured, ‘You’re gonna be one GREAT MOM.’ One quick word of advice from a two-time dad: After the baby’s born, DON’T BLINK! I did and now mine are 21 and 23. Srsly, it happens REALLY fast. Enjoy every minute of it.

  • sezme

    Congratulations, Sara! This is wonderful news, although like everyone else here, I’ll miss reading the wonderful words that come out of your television-typewriter-thing. Stay healthy and happy and when the crying and pooping get you down, remember that babyhood is only a temporary phase. (But the Wonkett is forever so hurry on back!)

  • sezme

    Also, You will be left in the capable hands of your male editors… Is there something more to Juli Weiner than we were aware of?

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    So, is this a Beavis & Butt-head Do America scenario where Newell or Layne could be the baby-father?

    Or was Sanford in Argentina just a cover for being in another “A” place, Austin?

  • naveed


  • flyby

    Congratulations Sara K., and all the very best!

  • house of the blue lights

    [re=397314]dementor[/re]: Troopa?

  • Frumious Canbrasnatch

    Congratulations, Sara. Have you considered the classic baby names? Lemonjello and Chlamydia are pretty, and you could still keep Trucknutz for a middle name.

  • slappypaddy

    whar’z dott bebe? th’ hole whirled is watchin

  • Boondock Saint

    Does your husband know? Is he pissed off at me?

  • teh_heysoos

    Well, at least we know that SOMEBODY around here is getting laid once in a while…

  • problemwithcaring

    A baby? Really?

    Well, I guess I am OK with it as long as a World Net Daily rep is there to properly document the birth.
    (if your baby-daddy is African, you may need more specialized documentation. Think Lou Dobbs…)

    Best of luck. Also.

  • skutre

    You’ll have the kid shooting and drinking by December?

  • BeachLover

    A hearty welcome to baby Charlie and many congratulations to you and your husband. Your “voice” will sorely be missed. Many smooches to the bebe!! Enjoy this beautiful time together. Cheers!!!

  • javelina

    Congratulations, SKS! You helped make it a baby-worthy world!

  • Old Redneck

    8 POUNDS 2 OUNCES !!!!! And she delivered this moose without chemical assistance???? Give that woman a drink !!!!! Or three.

  • thefrontpage

    Is it true that the baby is named Prell Buick Dagger Smith?

    Are those old family names?

  • d4g33z

    I’m always the last to know.

    I still crack up over the ‘hypotenuse in the love triangle’ line…

Previous articleMichele Bachmann’s Own Constituents Were So Mean To Her!
Next articleA Number of Cartoons That Will Enrage David Denby