Have you ever had a holiday vacation on Martha’s Vineyard? So boring! Once you get over the “Ah and there’s where Ted Kennedy crashed his car and drowned that lady” historical thing — sorry, Denby! — you realize it’s just a place full of crappy tourist shops and terrible humid boiling weather and a bunch of ugly gated beach mansions surrounded by swamps, bogs and discarded “lobster rolls.” How to jazz it up? Barack Obama decided to go on the teevee to announce what everybody already knew he was doing: giving Ben Bernanke another term.
Who knows how successful Bernanke was in avoiding another Great Depression. We don’t, and we are experts in such things. All we do know is that America & Earth did not plunge into another awful decade-long Awful Financial Collapse with 25% unemployment and people starving to death and witty urbane private eyes dealing with all kinds of once-respectable people and their fiendish, desperate schemes.
So, our loss, really.
But! Bernanke is an expert in the various Great Depression mythologies and banking legends, and he basically spent his whole life preparing for the job of trying to keep America from falling back into such a decade-long nightmare, and maybe, by throwing trillions of dollars at everything, especially reckless, idiot-run investment banks and global insurance companies, he did just the right thing. Nobody will ever know for sure, but we know that this crappy recession is still very much a recession along the lines of the Reagan 1981/1983 Recession, which was terrible but not terrible enough to inspire The Grapes of Wrath.
(We got John Cougar Mellencamp albums, instead. Yay.)
(Or maybe that was Bruce Springsteen?)
Anyway, congratulations, Helicopter Ben! Try not to, uh, make shit worse.
Bernanke to Be Nominated for Second Fed Term by Obama [Bloomberg]
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OK, I can deal with no Grapes of Wrath, but will we at least get hot chicks dancing naked with big hair?
Things could be much worse. Friday marks the 30th anniversary of Jimmy Carter “killer rabbit” incident. His was was a simpler time, in many ways a better time. Presidential vacations had groove; they had meaning.
Ken, just because you can’t spell Chappaquiddick, don’t go claiming Teddy K. offed someone on Martha’s Vineyard. Actually, it was Jackie O. She killed a ton of marshland trying to get some privacy around her giant, fancy house.
15 minutes ’til my birthday. You can start singing now.
If Obama keeps up this work schedule he won’t have racked up as many vacation days in 8 years as W did in one. That lazy fucktard (W) sure did a lot of damage for a guy who hardly ever went to work. Which was still better than during his National Guard days, when he never went to work.
What a great idea — this is like letting Captain Hazelwood command the effort to get the Exxon Valdez off of that reef. His new motto should be “Hey, he’s not drunk this time!” Now if only he could remember where that $700 billion went.
Obama is officially the WORST socialist ever.
Ben, Ben, he’s our man, if he can’t front trillions to Goldman Sachs to inject liquidity into the equity markets and artificially inflate bank stocks, no one can!
If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.
And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there’s pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.
That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
Fuck yeah!
[re=394047]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Happy Birthday! I was going to get you a present, but couldn’t decide on a tax cut for the rich or a pointless war.
[re=394042]rambone[/re]: Only if you abandon your old politics and join The Australian Sex Party!
boy_howdy – Carter never slopped up a t-shirt with lobstuh juice like a Kennedy.
Oh lighten up.
[re=394047]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Happy Birthday! I’m fixing to load up the vaporizer in your honor!
I don’t give a damn about the Federal Reserve until Republicans start calling it the Death Reserve.
Maybe he was right to channel trillions to the financial services industry, but he’s still the worlds worst investor. Who the fuck else would “own” major stakes in corporations without receivership, besides Ben Bernanke (you the taxpayer)?
Nobody can take away the Indiana family farm Mellencamp sang about, ’cause they’re all corporate now. But the Grapes of Wrath style dust bowl might still happen after vast corn monocultures ruin the land, in Indiana this time rather than Kansas and Oklahoma.
I’m glad to see you’re still around Ken, for a while there I thought you’d taken a sabbatical to write your book about California. Guess you’ve been waiting for 25% unemployment to give you some new material.
[re=394060]chascates[/re]: [re=394056 SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh, you guys are so sweet for remembering! And SIWW: no sweat this year but I absolutely love pointless war. It goes with my Ralph Lauren tweed jacket perfectly.
[re=394047]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Well Happy Birfday, Birfer – now where’s your long-form Gift Certificate?
While you’re looking for it, he’s my present to you: I was going to get you ‘The Perfect Vagina’, since I’ve heard your hetero-guys dig that sort of thing, but TV-One’s already stuffed it… so instead, here’s a look at one of the larfs from the Antipodes called ‘Bro’Town’. Enjoy!
His license to print money should be as revoked as Dante Stallworth’s driver’s license.
In the room my dog climbs on the couch
Licking at his most recent ouch
He lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
For a moment, then chased the hell
Out of the neighborhood cats.
Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw–
But Max can do about 45mph…
Poor Macavity, that is all
I’m trying to lighten up; is it working?
[re=394065]Bearbloke[/re]: The perfect gift! Much better than The Perfect Vagina (Lisa Rogers investigates vaginal cosmetic surgery and why more and more women consider this surgical procedure) which sounds like something used in A Clockwork Orange. Now if I could get this damn flash player to work. Vielen Dank.
[re=394058]Can O Whoopass[/re]: Friday will be also the one-year anniversary of the day Sheryl Crow moved me to tears playing the gig of a lifetime (not counting the day Herr Rove cut and ran from her very presence), the true culmination of her existence, so cruelly disrespected in this very space.
Lest we forget, it was later that same evening that Sir Barry gave the speech wherein he accepted the nomination of his party. (At some length, but all was good.)
And then the following Saturday is the one-year anniversary of the day the ineffable, inedible Sarah Palin thunder-stole her way into the rest of our lives. How many Santeria voodoo-butter-underpants burnings will it take to out that damned spot from the national psyche? (Answer in multiples of ten, and in the key of F#.)
“All we do know is that America & Earth did not plunge into another awful decade-long Awful Financial Collapse with 25% unemployment and people starving to death and witty urbane private eyes dealing with all kinds of once-respectable people and their fiendish, desperate schemes.”
Well, not YET.
If silly Republicans continue messing about over the stimulus and healthcare doesn’t go through, though… THEN you might go from mere depcession to depression :)
But the Great Depression brought us BABE RUTH. Depression is good for baseball.
I want more Bernanke Fun Bucks!
Is Gentle Ben sitting next to a birther? She has that look of one who hasn’t missed a meal since 1973 .
Damn, I was looking forward to shaving my mustache to pencil-thin width so I could solve mysteries, too.
[re=394064]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Happy B’day guy. And since you love pointless wars I know whose yard I’ma fight the next couple in – once my new combat car arrives. It’s Russian but I bought it on Ebay.
[re=394047]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I’ll send you a birther and a Larouchie from tonight’s town Hall. Happy Birthday! Is there cake? I love cake.
[re=394099]finallyhappy[/re]: [re=394095]x111e7thst[/re]: Thank you both. I talked to Eddie Izzard about the cake, but he said all he had left was death. So I’ll have to work on the cake myself.
“and witty urbane private eyes dealing with all kinds of once-respectable people and their fiendish, desperate schemes.
So, our loss, really.”
Best Depression-allusion ever. Where’d you steal if from?
Guess I shouldn’t be calling the women at work “dames” anymore.
[re=394112]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Happy birthday. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Oh, yeah, never mind.
(The grade three kid in me says “Bend Barenaked!” Whoohooo!)
Happy Birthday, Hobo
“you realize it’s just a place full of crappy tourist shops and terrible humid boiling weather and a bunch of ugly gated beach mansions surrounded by swamps, bogs and discarded “lobster rolls.””
Wow, Ken. I didn’t know you had been there. You nailed it.
Obama overshadows bad “deficit news” by making an announcement he did not need to make for a couple of months.
Just checking: Is this the same Bernanke who threatened Congress with economic destruction just one week ago? Why are we believing Wall Street’s PR?
Obama lauds and promotes Bernanke, but then he does not know any better. Neither did Bush.
Some serious change is needed on “Wall Street.”
http://pacificgatepost.com/2009/08/america-end-your-fear-of-wall-street.html
[re=394172]Flanders[/re]: [re=394134]the problem child[/re]: Thanks for the birthday wishes. I’m a bit late due to the xanax/klonopin cocktail I took at bedtime.
you guys just killed off ted kennedy.
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