Wonkette
Because there is no news this August except for the news about the moral and physical decline of America due to Death Panel rationing, an increasingly bored press corps turns to the Obama family for succor. “Enh, there’s this bit about Michelle and her shorts,” they say to each other, and that’s good for a day or two. But what shall they do next week?
With the aid of their pervy stalker macro zoom lenses, they shall terrorize two little girls on vacation, at the beach. Helpful White House press secretary Robert Gibbs would prefer to keep this sort of idiocy to a minimum. Of course, if he was really serious about the press respecting their privacy he’d have the president bomb Mexico, as a distraction.
White House Asks Media to Let Obama Girls Enjoy Their Vacation [Washington Post]
OT, but what’s this crap about “death panel rationing“? When did the committee strip it down? Get my Congressman on the phone!
Coming to the Pedobear Channel in 5… 4… 3…
“It is our strong hope and desire that you all, during this family vacation, will respect the privacy of Sasha and Malia,” he said. “If the girls are out and about on Martha’s Vineyard without their parents, it’s our strong desire that you give them their space, their privacy, and you do not cover two little girls who are on vacation.”
No problem. But if Grandma buys a chicken, all bets are off.
but how did Malia do on her last spelling test? AMERICA DESERVES TO KNOW!
We NEED to watch the girls closely, just to make sure that they aren’t practicing Santeria rituals. Don’t want them putting a curse on newspapers, causing them to fold…oh, they done did that already…
remember in the beginning of the year when the freepers were calling the obama girls trash and saying they were ghetto? how ’bout obama bomb them to distract the media.
Aww, come on…summertime, heat, refreshing watermelon, rabid email jpeg possibilities!!!!
Where’s ol’ WALNUTS! when you need him to make a joke about the Obama girls?
The Secret Service should be allowed to beat the crap out of any of these vultures who violate Gibby’s rule.
…have the president bomb Mexico, as a distraction.
It worked for Polk.
Those comments were priceless. Did I miss where we agreed to warblog Wapo as well? I mean, with you guys all warmed up from warblogging the 93874958374958347598374598374598347598347593487529 Glenn Beck petitions for the past two days, the out-crazy-the-crazies is just in full swing, and you guys did not disappoint here either.
Wait, what? That wasn’t you guys leaving those comments? Oh dear god. I better go pray to Obama, his chicken-voodoo-witch mother-in-law and his made-up father…
I’m sure that the Press could follow that other candidate’s kid, the one with the PR rep. Molly? Mandy? Mags? Margret? Maggie?
If the media wants to follow people with cameras, maybe they can keep tabs on all the teabaggers with guns? Like that guy with the sign that said: “Death to Obama Michelle and her stupid kids,” maybe?
Chickensmack: I agree! I thought every American should have the right to be put before a death panel to be denied care and shipped off to the Soylent Green killing floors. STOP ABANDONING YOUR BASE, OBAMA!
Don’t bomb Mexico. Bomb our new enemy, Scotland.
I’m afraid of Americans…who comment on WaPo stories.
I think Obama ought to contract security services out to men outfitted in Black Panther garb, complete with weaponry. In fact, these (new) Panthers should appear on stage with him whenever he holds town hall meetings. Perhaps he could also hire a few Latino guards with full tatts. Glenn Beck would die, literally.
Is this some kind of indirect Kenyan way of ordering the press to go back to attacking Trig?
Alpha O. Mega: The Scots sure are a contentious people.
azw88: The girls are like nine or ten. If they are doing Bewitched stuff we’ll see Robert Pattinson for some reason taken into protective custody and held for safe keeping in the White House right next to their rooms…
Why is Wonkette spreading false rumours and panic about death-panel rationing? Are lobbyists for the lucrative assisted-death industry now writing these posts? Don’t worry folks, there’ll be plenty of death panels for everyone, the rumours about rationing are totally unfounded.
The Anals of Etiquette, indeed.
OnTheLoose: If you didn’t take the time to watch ‘Malia and the Bee’ I’m not going to do the work for you.
shadowMark: Gibbs is Meruhkan, not Kenyan.
I never will forget when SNL went off on Chelsea Clinton. Tasteless, like a right-winger on the Bar-B after all the fat has dripped away. Gak. Hardly worth serving.
Oldskool: Never saw it. If it’s the bit I’m thinking of (Wayne’s World?) it’s now cut in syndication.
That Huffpo link has me alarmed. The older Obama girl is growing at an alarming rate. Clearly, she’s being given some Kenyan voodoo serum that will give her superhuman powers. Someone hold me.
Could be worse, she could be that South African runner chick they stalk trying to get a shot of her penis.
Paul Tardy: You know, I saw that the other day. I’m honestly a bit surprised that no one’s found a way to link her to Obama yet. Second cousin? That mystery grandmother quoted as saying he was born in Africa that no one ever seems to have a picture of? Strange hoodoo experiment by grandmama Obama gone wrong?
I mean hell, why not. They’re running out of people/places/religions to link him to.
You would have never caught Mamie Eisenhower in shorts!
I can’t wait until Malia loses her virginity live on O’Reilly’s show, with a special hour follow up of Hannity, Rove and
Dick FaceDick Morris talking shit about it afterwards.It’s a deal…. Just so long as we get one photo of Barack in a bathing suit and Michelle in shorts.
I foresee terrible trouble if you leave this as the weekend post…
mama marian
I’d just like to know where Obama’s going to get Spam on Martha’s Vineyard. I don’t care how integrated it is, they aren’t prepared for wannabe Hawaiians. That’s the vacation photo I want: the first sighting of canned pig products.
bitterz: The Rolling Stones tried something similar back in the days of yore when police were known as “pigs.” It was a great idea, but if I remember correctly it didn’t work out so well.
“White House to Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin/Sean Hannity Death Squad Goons: Please Don’t Stalk my Little Girls”. There: Fixed.
“If the girls are out and about on Martha’s Vineyard without their parents, it’s our strong desire that you give them their space, their privacy, and you do not cover two little girls who are on vacation.”
Translation: “Listen up, creeps. These girls are guarded by Very Serious Men with Very Serious Weapons. Get too enthusiastic about capturing that Kodak moment, they’ll need a sponge to mop up what’s left of you.”
HA! “Enjoy Their Vacation” … what pinko nonsense.
Chickensmack: OT, but what’s this crap about “death panel rationing“? When did the committee strip it down?
WIN
BTW, I say we bomb Georgia. And, I ain’t talkin’ about the one in the Caucasus. That, or we could rebomb Serbia or Bosnia for good measure.
BTW, anyone noticed how tall Malia’s gotten since just last year? Methinks that is her Maasai Kenyan blood. It’s time to demand Malia Obama’s Long-form Birth Certificate. America deserves to know the origins of the children of the president! We have it on good faith that Malia is a Islmo-facist Maasai warrior princess who is seeking to depose her father and annex Africa.
Le sigh. Follow and question them mercilessly! Wake up, sheeples!
Back on topic, the Obamas knew what they were getting into, so I dispute that either Sasha or Malia shouldn’t be followed, photographed, or (God forbid) even asked a question or two on public property. Welcome to the big leagues, girls!
Posted by: JakeD | August 21, 2009 7:19 PM
Just wanna be clear here. For the weekend topic you gave us a topic we’ve been asked not to talk about by the President?!
Somebody’s hittin’ the sauce a little early….
irisheyesagain: So… Umm… Er– I hear that Favre went three and out a couple of times and left the game.
Bush would have never bombed mexico, like Hussein is planning. Bush had some, heh, good times, heh, umm… south! … of “el Bordero” heh. In his, heh…. um, eh, younger, uh, days. Heh.
Yeah, umm, hey, here’s one:
Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three—One to change the light bulb; One to throw an ashtray at Bill; And one to murder the janitor who was supposed to change the light bulb and dump his body in Fort Marcy Park.
OT: Mexico has decriminalized ‘personal use’ amounts of drugs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8215472.stm
coochiemama: Interesting… does this mean American touristas in Mexico no longer have to be quite so paranoid about possessing or obtaining their drug(s) of choice in Mexico?
LoweredPeninsula: You should welcome the ascension of your new Maasai Warrior Queen, and pray to the Voodoo Gods of Washington that your son might be judged as a worthy consort…
Well, I go to a small, remote, beach town every year with several girlfriends and we’re always offered (and buy) a little weed. We’re discreet and the locals assure us it’s no big deal - the local policia seem pretty laid back. That said, I always have this tiny, niggling fear of spending the next 10 years in some rat-infested hellhole of a Mexican jail. So this comes as a welcome turn of events for me.
Not sure how it will play out on the streets of Cancun or Puerta Vallarta during spring break, though.
Also, I believe Mexico tried to do this a few years ago and the Bush administration quashed it.
Anyone care to do a fair, reasoned comparison of how Obama treats his kids regarding publicity, versus how Palin treats hers?
Prof. Junk: No.
coochiemama: Traveling in a foreign country, while exciting, can also be a dangerous enterprise, especially for the ladies. I propose to escort you & your ladyfriends on your next trip south of the border. I will pay my own way and won’t let any of you out of my sight. I’m sure you’ll agree that all of us rooming together is really the best and safest way to enjoy ourselves.
President Beeblebrox: Jake D is a seriously f-ked up commenter on WaPo- like maybe posting from St E’s.
I’ve been told(by someone who is there now) that security is already tightening up at the Vineyard - secret service have been there for some time. Unless you are someone the Obamas want to see/meet, it is not likely you will get close. People there are used to celebrities so it is likely only the media would bother the Obamas. If anyone bothers the Obamas, I hope Bo will lift his leg and give them the golden dog shower. We’ve already seen him attack microphones and shoes- so he may be ready for this.
“If the girls are out and about… without their parents”???
wtf? these sweet and vulnerable girls, being stalked by popper rottsies and god knows who else and wandering around by themselves in a vinyard that belongs to someone named martha? what kind of parenting—-!!??!
oh wait. i see. they seem to be surrounded by large men in dark suits and sunglasses, wires coming out of their ears. islamo-fascist private voodoo socialist bodyguards, no doubt. not to be trifled with.
OT: Did I miss us ripping up the Paultard that expressed his Second Amendment rights and got his free ticket to the hoosegow?
Bearbloke: I have already accepted her and await her ascension to the throne in 2036.
LittlePig: He was undoubtedly lost and looking for the nearest Town Hall Meeting.
Redhead: I wonder why the press didn’t go after Bush’s mom? Does anyone really know what she’s hiding inside all those neck wrinkles?
The national press is so classy that I am sure this will be no problem.
masterdebater: Oh please, please have O’Reilly sic one of his wandering parasites on the girls so the SS can tear out his spleen, make pate out of it and force-feed it to the vermin. Please?
Maybe I’m part of the problem because I do enjoy a good HuffPo “Sasha Obama’s Sassiest Moments” slideshow.
NoWireHangers: Well, the problem isn’t Malia and Sasha doing an actual pole dance the problem is why would a little girl want to do a pretend pole dance?! Oh, wait, no, that was nine year old Noah Cyrus, not Malia and Sasha. Glad my fact checker caught that…
Suppose Sasha and Malia’s grandma needed intensive end of life care. Can the Obama girls imagine a scenario where it would be okay to pull the plug on her? Somebody should ask!
NoWireHangers: But do you have the Huffpo “Obama Family Big News” page bookmarked like me? Just call me Hitler.
hobospacejunkie: unemployed, living off lawyer wife, foul mouthed wonk, world traveler, offering escort services to the ladies,implied drug use.. Should’nt you be in Bermuda with your spouse?
Speaking of the First Family and its coverage in the media, who’s brave or foolhardy enough to read through Robin Givhan’s entire elevated bloviation on how Michelle’s shorts make her look “common,” then report back here?
Not me, certainly.
V572625694: I read it and I think she was saying she desperately wants to see Michelle naked–dead or alive:
None of them revealed as much leg as the current first lady, either — a fact that has been duly noted on the Internet by a nation that gets more squeamish about an artfully photographed nude than it does over a naked body lying in a pool of fake blood on an episode of “Law & Order.”
coochiemama: But the amount of coke is so small (.5 gram I think) that you have to shoot it up for it to have any effect. So step in the right direction but not there yet.
shadowMark: Fashion writing in WaPo, humor in NYT, political analysis on Fox: YER DOIN IT RONG!
Haiku
If Beck cannot stalk,
Then Glenn, like stone, cannot talk,
First Amendment dead.
Ummm, I don’t want to sound like a dense midwestern male–coughs–but did you just YELL at me or did I get in the way when you were YELLING at the Post, the Times and that TV network named after Agent Mulder?
V572625694: Darn it. I meant to “Reply” this comment to you but the yelling made me forget to hit the reply button…
But they are such sweet little flowers, who can help but be obsessed with them?
Mr Blifil: Sean Hannity, why can’t you control your love?
Who is Martha and what’s so special about her vineyard?
I thought that’s why your CIA and FBI asked the Scots to release Al-Megrahi and asked Gadafi to lay on that nice, thoughtful tea and cake welcome for him on the airport lawn.
Or - hang on - was that one to deflect attention from the 14% turnout in the Afghan elections all those dead men in uniforms have been fighting for? Or maybe it was to get the enquiry into the pesky Lockerbie crash stopped so we’ll never find who really did it?
Err… yup. You’re right. We do need something else to deflect attention from two little girls building sand castles on the beasch.
My mistake. Sorry. Silly season indeed.
OT, BUT, TEE HEE, LOL, ETC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHVwrCzRUX0&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fcrooksandliars%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded#t=87
(from Crooks and Liars)
So what am I supposed to do with my Obama gurl stalker box?
facehead: Amen to the Tee Hee.
i’d like my death paneling to be either cherry or walnut, but i can’t decide. maybe i should just go with scotch pine, it’s less expensive, though i have heard that i could get a great deal on used waterboarding. i might know someone who might know someone who might know.
OT, and I’m not a haxxor, so I don’t know whether this is useful. But as I was trolling Newsbusters this morning, minding my own business, I hit a SQL database server error that revealed the username (nbdrupalclient) and IP (10.10.10.2) of said server. Can anybody do anything with this?
If not, I also managed to get a NB account, which I am saving for a special occasion.
coochiemama: it violates international treaty and law, and as any member of the bush league would have proudly told you, we merkuns are nothing if we are not a people who know how to value law. hell, the drug laws alone are worth billions.
shadowMark: Not yelling at you. Yelling at MSM’s limitations. Had not had enough to drink yet and the anger was not finely focused.
slappypaddy:
NO SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN FOR THE ELDERLY!!
slappypaddy: Because only US Amurrica is the exception to the sacred and inviolable rule that all countries must abide faithfully by all of their treaty obligations. It is in the Book of Revelation right next to the part about the Whore of Babylon so you know it’s true.
V572625694: Perhaps this will ease the pain:
Real journalist dickslaps bearded media tool:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/8/23/12834/8908
Chuck Todd…the guy who always talks about these “non-partisan fact checkers.” You’d think the guy is talking about a news organization or something like that. Well, Scahill makes a fool out of him, and it’s quite delightful.
El Pinche: I love Jeremy Scahill. He held Fuck Toad’s feet to the fire, and what did Todd say? Something to the effect of “you can’t prosecute these motherfuckers, it’s too difficult. So don’t try.”
Nice.
WARNING!
If you value your sanity, do not so much as glance at comments on WaPo.
No weekend, have yourself some fun while we’re away posts? We’re really sorry about last time, when we invited our wild friends over and they broke the lamp, raided your liquor cabinet, and downloaded porn on your computer. Next time, if you’ll give us another chance, we won’t have any parties, or at most will invite over our Teen Bible Study friends.
desertwind: Which story?
To regain your sanity, read this sane health care opinion piece, believ it or not, also in the WaPo:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/21/AR2009082101778.html?nav=hcmoduletmv
Smoke Filled Roommate: Yeah, his response was lame, but not surprising. Maddow makes Todd look like Cavuto.
New Wave Phlebotomist: 10.10.10.2 is a private class A address. It’s not useful on the public Internet, only within their private network, presumably behind their firewall. They’re evidently using Drupal for their content management system. Sorry, but that’s about all I can say about that.
shadowMark: You can show a naked breat on TV as long as you cover the nipple with blood?
tootsieroll: Nothing to do with story, but comments posted on any and all WaPo stories that touch on the Obamas or immigration or healthcare or wars or etc. are flooded with true nutz.
Remember, Obama is based in Chicago. I’m sure he knows people who know people in the gangbanger community….
liquiddaddy: If they want naked breasts, they should do a lot more stories on Africa.
Mahousu: Thanks for looking into it. Can’t say I didn’t try. (WARBLOG?)
When the time is right, I will make my account access info known, and we will all have fun.
liquiddaddy: I think TV only allows nipples if they’re painted, like one of those Sports Illustrated things. Robert Gibbs is going to be mad at the Wonkette for going on about nipples in a story about Malia and Sasha. I’m sure Malia and Sasha only wear real swimsuits, not the painted-on kind.
shadowMark: I’m sure Malia and Sasha only wear real swimsuits, not the painted-on kind.
And certainly not the kind with built-in erect nipples, as was the fashion recently.
hobospacejunkie: Your concern is touching (and heartfelt I’m sure), however NO BOYZ ALOUD!!!11!! Except for the nice waiter guy who keeps my margarita topped up.
New Wave Phlebotomist: What a coincidence. I was just read an essay by Lisa Wade, Ph. D., “Nipples and the Presentation of Femininity.” Lisa closes by observing,
… times haven’t changed in the sense that women’s bodies still aren’t allowed to just be. Their nipples either must show, or must not show, or they should show in some contexts, or are allowed to show, but in other contexts they better not show. (Remember the outcry over Hilary Clinton’s “cleavage”? Can you imagine if she’d shown some nip!?)
I don’t want to imagine Hillary (Dr. Lisa spelled H’s name wrong?!) showing some nip. But imagine the week Robert Gibbs would have if Malia or Sasha did a Disney Girl thing and flashed some nip at one of the reporters stalking them!
shadowMark: shadowMark: I used to live in Elitist NYC, in 1998, and at that time, the “Nipple Bra” look prevailed, particurlary among the Customer-Service-Agents-Who-Wished-They-Were-Supermodels crowd. At the time, I assumed that I was the only one who noticed.
I have been happlily married since well before then, and I don’t recall having ever once thought that that was “sexy”.
I now have a two-year-old daughter, and I still don’t think it’s sexy. I will kill (C-I-L) anyone who would come near her. But nor do I think that Chris Hansen’s world view obtains. The truth is somewhere between.
And Feminists (in 2009) Who Write Articles About Nipples? What can one say? Is Jennifer Anniaston stil relevant? I’m conflicted.
Whoops!
New Wave Phlebotomist:, shadowMark: Just as long as an advert for ‘Vulva’ isn’t juxtaposed somewhere in the story, all is well, I think…
Ms Sheila Dixon — my mobile phone won’t let me reply directly to you, or rather your long & distinguished name, but of course I am just kidding coochiemama, being a loyal & happily married man.
coochiemama: I wish I had a group of friends to get together with every year, but, alas, I’m not such a big fan of humans, apart from my wife, my soccer teams, my medical advisory board and wonkette family. Apart from that small gtoup, humans can blow me. Cats are where it’s at.
Mr. Junkie: it’s all good.
New Wave Phlebotomist: shadowMark: Bleagh. This is what I imagine a pedo thread to be like.
Smoke Filled Roommate: It’s a pedo bear thread.
El Pinche: Hahaha, according to Huffpo, Scahill said that Todd approached Scahill after the show and called it a cheap shot ..”You sullied my reputation on TV.” meoorrwwww!!!
El Pinche: More like ‘waaaaaaah’. Scahill should have told him to “be a real teevee journalist” and eat shit. And write an actual book all by himself. Also.
Some time later, Jeremy and I met down at the Watergate to have a manly fistfight. That isn’t quite what transpired, but the “fist” part is right on the money.
Make sure Letterman gets the memo.