You won’t find a word about it on the KFC website, or in most regional advertisements, but out in the mysterious moon colony of Omaha, the televisions are advertising a new sandwich. This is the only footage known to man. Believe it: KFC is selling a sandwich in Omaha, and god knows where else, that serves as a bellwether for the current state and future hopes of America: Two patties of fried chicken as the “bread,” between which are various forms of cheese, two strips of bacon, and “Colonel’s Sauce” — likely a combination of butter, salt, and cum.
This is utterly transfixing, especially with the corporate secrecy. Fast-food companies are apparently selling INSANE specialties, under-the-counter, in specific “fat” regions of the country! Anyone from Alabama or Mississippi or wherever? Does your McDonald’s sell you like a NINE-patty deep-fried cheeseburger?