Wonkette
PRESIDENT OBAMA WON’T BE BUYING CARS FOR YOU WELFARE QUEENS ANYMORE: The “Cash for Clunkers” program is going to expire any day now, so you will just have to pay for your new Honda Fit all by yourself, like a man. This disastrously popular program just goes to show you why the government should not interfere in private industry — because Americans are just too addicted to free shit to bother paying for anything themselves anymore. [CBS News]
But I never got a chance to participate! Why does the half-breed muslin King of America hate me so much? Is it because I’m white?
Our long national nightmare is finally over, freeing up more moniez for the much-needed F-22.
What?! No more free? Is Wonkette going to the freemium economic model? Are you preparing us for subscription charges to read our own dear snark?
“Live fast, die young and leave a pretty coupe!”
My mom traded in a dangerous POS for a new Civic. First new car she’s ever owned. She’s really proud.
On to the next program! Cash for Old People.
Win win.
They turned me down for a coal-fired Hummer. Commies.
Monsieur Grumpe: Do we have to turn in old people we already own, or can we turn in free range oldz?
The Honda Fit is adorable. You just want to pinch its cheeks and avoid telling it how you’ll never be able to afford to send it to college.
if i just push a beat up car from someone’s lawn down to a car store, will they give me money?
Mel Ott:
So if my doctor asks me about end of life planning, I get some cash in return?
I’m in.
In reality, if dealers are not getting paid as the newz reports,
did anyone make any money out of this? Better yet, has anyone pay for it?
We should move to a free bartering economy, star trek style.
Too bad — it was overcome by its own success. Just what Donald Rumsfeld said was the problem with Iraq.
“That’s fundamental to the health of the dealerships that are participating. If you run out of money before you run out of deals, that’s not a good situation,” said Ted Smith, president of the Florida Automobile Dealers Association.
Great. Yet another healthcare imbroglio that Nobama can’t seem to get right.
Monsieur Grumpe: Cash for Olds? Sign me up! I’d like to use mine to get a new refrigerator. I’ll do a better job keeping up with the American fatness standards if I can stockpile more Klondike Bars (they now come in peanut butter!) and that tasty maple bacon that Costco sells.
And how about Cash for Bitterz? I don’t have any in my family, but there’s one next door I might be able to kidnap the next time he’s telling me how Alberto Gonzales is actually a misunderstood genius.
Fuck. I really did want a Fit, too.
AnnieGetYourFun: Everyone should buy a Fit. Very cool car. In fact, ACORN teams should go house-to-house, towing away Chevy Suburbans and replacing them with Honda Fits.
Monsieur Grumpe: Name the program “Gold for Olds”, and the Paultard ranks would be halved overnight. That would a win-win.
american mutt: Under the new “Jack for Junkers” program, you wouldn’t get shit.
Monsieur Grumpe: I used to own an Olds.
Mel Ott:
You catch em, we’ll crush em!
The Honda Fit was the one I had my eye on, too. Turns out my delightful (but unreliable) old Saab Turbo was, according the EPA 2 lousy MPG too good to qualify as a clunker.
The car actually gets a lot better MPG than its supposed to, but it so seldom actually running that I’d probably burn twice as much gas in a Fit.
Better git my Toyota truck, right quick!!
We converted to an all-Honda family 4 years ago. My Element is 4-years-old with 27,000 miles on it. Only gets 22 mpg. I thought all Hondas got like 50.
I have a Fit! Two years old now — just an adorable little toddler of a car…
So, Bush in 2008 could blow $100 billion on giving everyone measely $300-$500 rebate checks that everyone could blow on putting towards hi-def flat screens, but Obama can’t offer $3 billion for true stimulus that also has the effect of helping the environment? Where were the wingfucks wehn Bush gave away $100 billion, last year?
I jumped in while I could - got rid of my less-than-green ‘97 Blazer in favor of a Scion XD. Polar opposites in all the good ways.