Former CNN Baghdad correspondent Michael Ware, he of the Lara Logan Love Triangle and the sexily fucked-up nose, is now living in Williamsburg. Go on, snide New Yorkers, and make your remarks about hipsters and trucker hats and whatever else they’re doing over there, in Williamsburg, these days. (Ha ha trucker hats were popular in what, 2002?)
Ware is still apparently employed by CNN, to whom he is very grateful for paying his life insurance. And he has the natural Terrors of bad driving and stuff you would expect from having lived in a war zone for years.
“Crowds can feel threatening. When I open a window, I’m looking for snipers. If somebody cuts me off in traffic, it could be the beginning of a kidnapping.”
He will probably end up guest editing for n + 1 before the year is out.
An International Correspondent, Based in Brooklyn [TVNewser]
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Didn’t he play Casey Jones in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie?
teh hot, hottness of a scorned lover. someone console this man.
I wonder if he finds those colonial reenactors annoying as hell.
His nose is a barometer of his passion. The more it tries to escape his face the stronger his internal dilemma. His nose follows his heart…wife, home. His face follows his desire…Lara.
He obv relieves his anxiety with the best coke in the tri-state area.
When Lara Logan interviewed Obama, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. At least, I could.
and i smell a gossip girl cameo.
The NY Post has a link to the Lara Logan interview on the Daily Show.
His life insurance must be really, really high.
Hard as I try, I cannot take this man seriously with that accent. I keep expecting him to say “Look, a king croc! Now, what I’m going to do, is jam my finger up its butthole!”
He would be hardcore if he were in Colonial Williamsburg. Bush Gardens is NO JOKE.
Bring David Muir into this and then we’ll talk. And yes, I know he is probably teh gay.
Ware was on Campbell Brown last night. Dude looked like he had just emerged from 3 weeks of detention and torture by the Sinaloa Cartel.
Wait,
a Baghdad love triangle with CBS’s Lara Logan and married U.S. State Department contractor Joe Burkett.
love triangle? A guy who’s married seeing Logan, that’s three right there, then this guy… isn’t that a four-sided triangle? I guess “love rectangle” doesn’t have the same pizzazz to it.
“In war, we see the very best and very worst of ourselves. It never ceases to amaze me how combat distills everything to its purest essence. On the front line, you cannot hide from yourself.”
How noble. Or it would be, if most peoples’ purest essence wasn’t prick. Anyway Michael, it’s okay to say you’re hooked on it without trying to glorify it. It sucks. You like it. End of story.
[re=391278]qwerty42[/re]: I just re-watched that, for old time’s sake… and she’s about empty in her descriptions. given that she was probably stuck between cock and couch, her hollow accounts make it sound like she watched the competitors to collect her stories.
That was, of course, when she wasn’t being jackrabbited by, oh, everyone.
“Crowds can feel threatening. When I open a window, I’m looking for snipers. If somebody cuts me off in traffic, it could be the beginning of a kidnapping.”
Yup. Definitely sounds like Williamsburg.
“Crowds can feel threatening. When I open a window, I’m looking for pillow fights. If somebody cuts me off in traffic, it could be the beginning of a happening.”
TBH, Billyburg can take a dump.
usually yr getting cut off to avoid a a jaywalking kid in a plaid scarf and skinny jeans unable to hear traffic because they have those giant can-shaped headphones on.
Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy! Teenage girls and hundred year old vampires! Michael Ware punching out Joe Burkett! Fuck You World, We Are America! ™
[re=391288]Uncertainty Vice-Principal[/re]: But a love trapezoid, that’s got some goin’ on goin’ on.
Ware will be the toast of the town! These two magnificently eclectic siblings would be more than glad to put him up for a few days and ease his pain of his memories of what was with The Loganator.
Ware would give them a burnt-out Katyusha tube for their troubles, for their flotsam and jetsam-inspired loft furnishings.
Did you see him when he did the report on the fist big soccer match in Baghdad recently — Palestine vs Iraq? He. Litterally. Went. Ape.
He kept bobbing up and down and then went into a low scuttling, hunched trot to get nearer the action from the the sideline. And he was very excited. And I thought the Ozzies didn’t like proper footie and were into things like cricket, rugby league and kaola wrestling.
He’s no Tom Aspell…a crumpled, ruined looking shell of a correspondent. The scent of cigs and booze waft from the screen when he (too infrequently) graces us with his presence.
Me likee.
Oh God, I am so terribly unhip, SKS. When I first read the headline, I was wondering why in the hell someone coming back from Iraq would want to to Colonial Williamsburg. I need sleep.
[re=391597]The Dallas Office[/re]: Rather, “would want to go…”
[re=391280]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I know! Crickey! It is hard to concentrate on what he is saying when the way he speaks is causing my ears to bleed. Ware has a truly annoying accent and proof that as goofy as some American accents can sound, Australian accents are worse. I say this as someone who has relatives with “Fargo” accents, so I know something about grating vowels. However, compared to Michael Ware the American Inland North/Great Lakes accent is almost dulcimer-toned.
Note: I would say that Jeff Sessions and Bobby Jindal are worse but I think it it is wrong to make fun of the mentally retarded whose accents can be the result of a speech impediment and/or cognitive impairment. (It is strange how a Southern drawl can be the most charming and lovely of all American accents, or it can sound like an inbred hillbilly out of Deliverance.)
[re=391324]Tybalt[/re]: Could you get one of those “love trapezoids” if you hike the Appalachian Trail and then hike back?
[re=391597]The Dallas Office[/re]: Don’t feel bad. Many people who live in Manhattan never heard of NYC’s Williamsburg. Dame Noonington, for instance.
Saw him on Maher a few weeks ago.
Couldn’t take eyes off NOSE!!!!
From one side profile to the next his nose grows by like 4 inches.
He and Lara Logan? Wow. I’ve got to start reading the tabloids.
Won’t he getting his fucking nose fixed, already? This isn’t some bullshit thing like going in for a deviated septum, which is a catch-all for rhinoplasty, these days. He’s nose is literally on the other side of his fucking face. It’s so distracting; he’s got to know that. It’s not about “dedication to his craft”, he’s placed such a premium on being ‘natural’ that he’s practically turned it into a religion at the expense of accepting that it’s distracting from his work.
Sorry, had to vent. Every time I see him report, I can’t help but hear his proud and smug snossage preaching to me.
[re=391270]trickyrick[/re]: Not until he gets a nose job.
I always wanted to know how it feels to be embedded with troops. Is it really as sexy as they say?
I’ll gladly be the father of Lara Logan’s next child.
Well, if this dude, whoever the hell he is, is in Williamsburg, at least he’s near Busch Gardens, the country, and plenty of historical re-enactments on the weekends.
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