Wonkette
The festering hot death-waters of the tropical south Atlantic Ocean are trying, as is their annual ritual, to kill the humans with their hurricanes. And this one, Hurricane Bill, is a real heifer. Category 4! According to this important Weather.com projected path, Bill will strike the coast of Massachusetts sometime this Sunday. And according to the much less important Politico, Obama is expected to start his family vacation in Martha’s Vineyard — ALLEGEDLY OFF THE COAST OF MASSACHUSETTS — on “August 23,” which a few back-of-the-envelope calculations reveal to be the same thing as “this Sunday.” Why is racist Hurricane Bill planning to kill Barack Obama? Is this a money/ransom thing? [Weather.com, Glenn Thrush]
I knew Obama should’t've let Bill and Hillary into the WH….
I’d consider getting a different travel agent if I were the Obamas.
He’s the president. I’m sure he can lay his hands on a FEMA trailer somewhere.
I thought he just had a vacation … didn’t he go to Grand Canyon with the kids?
NOAA better name the hurricane “Hussein” once they hit “H”. Hurricane Hussein would be such an awesome hurricane.
Hurricanes on the Cape are a pretty pussy deal. Lotta rain, lotta whoosh whoosh wind, lot less beach, lot more broken tree limbs, and a bonanza for the battery-sellers and liquor stores. Souza’s gonna have a field day with Barry, Michelle and the girls braving nature’s wrath by candle light, scrabble and rustic cabin decor. He’s probably got a woody just thinking about it.
Barney Frank will save us.
Coincedent? Bill & Hillary head directly into the path of Hurricane Bill, now Obama? This isn’t where that Bermuda Triangle shit comes true? Where Bill, Hillary, and Barrack “Triangulate” and summon the alien forces to open up the FEMA camps. During the hurricane no less!
I would imagine his mother-in-law’s credit card bills now show a hefty payment to Sacrificial Chickens ‘R’ Us. Look out, Barry Sorento!
some great, perceptive comments on the Glenn Thrush link. really, really perceptive.
God made hurricanes. Hurricane Bill is going after Obama. God hates Obama…or at least that’s what I heard at the last town hall (Nazi rally/totally spontaneous grass roots love-in) I went to.
LoweredPeninsula:
Would it rock you? And if so, how?
That’s not meteorological transcendence.
“Santeria rituals have been called off on Martha’s Vineyard due to weather.”
TownHall Meteo”rite”ologist
Hell yes. We havent had a real hurricane sinc eHurrance Bob. ~hurricane bill~
Looks like New Brunswick is doomed. Or is that Nova Scotia sticking its chin out?
I have it on good authority that “Martha’s Vinyard” is a completely fictitious place, like “Oz”, “Nehwan”, or “Nova Scotia”.
Clearly Hurricane Bill thinks that Obama’s death panels will kill it’s mother. Has it strapped on a gun yet? “The Tree of Liberty” you know.
(And, yes, I know that this won’t be funny in a couple of weeks when some Conservative takes a shot.)
i can’t believe the republicans didn’t take this tremendous opportunity to name it hurricaine “health insurance reform” bill - you know hype it up like it’s gonna start a nor’ easter then come inland to kill you and your family at a health co-op! and nazis. also.
Obviously, Obama is guiding Hurricane “Katrina” Bill up to Mass with his Voodoo and/or Muslim god powers.
shootfirst:
“i can’t believe the republicans didn’t take this tremendous opportunity to name it hurricaine “health insurance reform” bill”
and then they can say their god (satan) unleashed the hurricane on gay barney frank and all the sick, poor pagans for calling ashley ikea broyhill, from woodlawn, mass, a dining room table.
LIONEL: the “tree of libery” must be cleansed with pledge from time to time
~Thomas Jefferson Chippendale
The Station Manager: Yes, the shark god has been summoned. The disaster will showcase the glories of socialised medicine!
If Hurricane Bill sees any black people trying to force open a door he’d better be polite.
If the death panel kills me, do I still get those 72 virgins? Because the private policy I have now would call whatever it is I die from a pre-existing condition and would deny me my virgins, and that’s just not right.
At least he won’t be brush-clearing in the Vinyard. However he will be picking fish out of trees.
Jim89048: No, no virgins. However you do get to spend eternity in Alaska.
I believe since “IT” coined and probably trademarked, every time someone on cable teevee says it the Alaska Trust (Tush?) Fund (Fraud) get’s a nickle. Which means “IT” will have a couple of billion to either run for preziden or just outright buy faux noose channel.
Jim89048: The death panel cannot kill you if you remain in Wasilla for ever and ever and ever, and never ever leave.
Like Bristol Palin, who seems to be interested in Zen of late. Observe:
http://tinyurl.com/lp8nas
Carl Spakler: damnit..lower case it = death pannel..phooey
Barry will have perfect weather so long as he abandons the public option. Otherwise, not even Pat Robertson can save his vacation.
This is a great opportunity after the hurricane passes, for the president to say “Heck of a job, Barney. Heckofa job.”
So just to make sure I’m keeping track of Jim’s fate:
1) Avoid death panel…eternity in Wasilla
2) Attend death panel…eternity in Alaska
yep, either way, you’re screwed.
The “cone of uncertainty” is also what I call my girlfriend’s genitals.
Nerdalicious: Our six hour documentary on the Tree of Liberty will continue, right after this pledge break.
–PJS, the Public Jefferson System.
Nearly 50 comments and nobody yet pointed out that there are no worries as our guy Barry can walk on water calm or stormy? Henngg?
Now, Michele will wisely take the girls to Nebraska for safety…
If the Cape goes all Katrina and Barry has to break into a store to put food on his family the TV commentators will call him a criminal looter. Better send Gibbs. He’ll just be requisitioning food to stave off starvation.
Funny, just a year ago ’twas Mean Old Slick Willy who wanted to kill Barry.
Shouldn’t the wind speeds change into KM/H after they cross the Canadian border?
Hurricanes on the Vineyard= Extreme Boredom for youngsters, poor Sasha and Malia I hope they pack Scategories.
Damn the Luck, for all you outdoor growers in New England.
Elizabeth Edwards,Tommy Thompson & his 3 heads were on the Death Puppet show. Elizabeth Edwards was barely allowed to speak. Not only did Thompson keep shaking his 3 heads at Elizabeth when she was permitted to speak, Thompson had the b***s to chastize Frank for shouting down nazi lady, with the ole’ free speech america mantra, yet his old boss dips**t shrub, had people arrested at his holy rallies for the felony of wearing anti-dips**t t-shirts. btw Thompson’s 3 heads are named: Father, Son & Holy Spirit.
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/041203/041203_thompson_vmed.widec.jpg
MGBYG: Katrina and the Waves
~
Chuck Assley on Greta Van Nutstern right now on Fox 10p est. Sure to have children of the corn nightmares tonight.
ifthethunderdontgetya: Perhaps, instead of going to the Vineyard, they’ll go down to Liverpool to do nothing, all the days of their lives.
Sorry. Obscure Kimberley Rew reference. We now return to our regularly-scheduled snark.
Aw, it’ll veer off the coast, leaving impressive surfin’ waves for our man to impressively body surf the impressive body. Or not.
COMMIE SOCIALIST FASCIST OUGHTA BE CLEARING BRUSH IN TEXAS, ASLO TOO.
Wait, if the hurricane is going to hit Martha’s Vineyard, shouldn’t Obama just fly over it to be presidential?
Real hurricanes only hit the Real America.
The Unfairman: LoweredPeninsula: What the hell?!
Was “Barack You Like a Hurricane” too obvious, or something?
Extemporanus: In addition to the song parody & images I linked to, there’s even a single server URL.
Best part? That isn’t Photoshopped…
If you want to see a big blow, just wait for Hurricane Monica.
“Barack Obama doesn’t care about rich white people”
Kanye Beck
No need to worry folks, don’ forget Barry’s mom-in-law…and the black magic stuff…
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/pirates/images/thumb/f/f5/Calypso_godness.jpg/300px-Calypso_godness.jpg
So long, everyone. We’re dead. Damn you Obama and your racist hurricanes.
Cooler heads’ll prevail.
http://bit.ly/vgsS
Maybe the storm will drown the Nazi betch from another planet?
Hope he doesn’t plan on any swordfishing.
Tommmcatt: Other fictitious places: Melrose Place. District of Columbia…
Don’t mess with Bill.
I guess before unleashing his wrath, the Godz gave us Massholes a 5-year “look-see” period after we went and allowed teh gayz to get married up here.
Crank Tango: +1.
OMG, my part of Maine is in the cone of uncertainty. In your face, Florida!
No worries. If the hurricane gets to where Barry is vacationing, he’ll just walk out the door and order it to turn around. And then the hurricane will go back South to drown everyone in Alabama, the end.
AxmxZ: Hey! Only the death panels will decide when I die, not the weather. Keep yore cigar smokin, socialist democrap herrican named bill up in yankee land!!
Must be some mighty unholy gay folk up there in Maine. Hope none of em are married: that ‘cane will do em under fer sure, dudes.
Hillary: Are you seriously asking me what this Hurricane is thinking? You’ll have to ask it, not me. I’m not here to channel the Hurricane, I AM the Secretary of State. Now, allow my PUMA Army of Weather to advance and, like the Witches of Eastwick, do it’s thang to Barry.