SEX TOURISM  5:11 pm August 19, 2009

Clintons Plan Secret Sex Getaway To Bermuda

by Sara K. Smith

Torn from Sidney Blumenthal's masturbation scrapbookPresident Hillary Clinton and her husband, President Bill Clinton, will be staying in the romantical island spot called Bermuda this weekend. You know who else is in Bermuda, right now, and forever? An unfortunate band of Uighurs, who will be conscripted into sexual slavery administering erotic pedicures to the Clintons. Pray for their souls. [Bermuda Sun]

 

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{ 38 comments }

Dave J. August 19, 2009 at 5:13 pm

That photo!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

horned_viper August 19, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Hillz is looking good! Better than many other women 1/2 her age. She should be on the cover of Self!
Wait – that is Hillz?!

NJB August 19, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Erotic pedicures? Is that something David Vitter made up?

GreatOldOnesParty August 19, 2009 at 5:15 pm

I’d hit it.

nightshift August 19, 2009 at 5:16 pm

That picture is almost as staged as the Al and Tipper kiss.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 19, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Yea, but there’s another Bill who’s likely to be in Bermuda this weekend as well.

[re=390934]Dave J.[/re]: Cottage cheese, anyone?

SayItWithWookies August 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm

It is understood Mr. and Mrs. Clinton have now opted for secluded Cambridge Beaches in Somerset. The plush, adult-only resort has a “clothing optional” sky deck and occasionally hosts sex seminars to improve couples’ relationships.

Oh lordy. Close the cigar store, people — for your own safety.

jetjaguar August 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm

But… that’s when hurricane Bill is supposed to… aaahhhh, I see what they did there…

widget09 August 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Are you kidding me? Don’t they get the weather channel in wherever they are? Or maybe they just wanted to sit through a CAT-4 hurricane.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 19, 2009 at 5:19 pm

OMG. It is understood Mr. and Mrs. Clinton have now opted for secluded Cambridge Beaches in Somerset. The plush, adult-only resort has a “clothing optional” sky deck and occasionally hosts sex seminars to improve couples’ relationships.

Yeesh. Time for another brain bleaching.

Gorillionaire August 19, 2009 at 5:20 pm

That pic is going into my “Permanent Spank Rotation”.

Min August 19, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=390946]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Like a hurricance named Bill is ever going to make it past the Virgin Islands.

Sharkey August 19, 2009 at 5:25 pm

“Here I am, Rock you like a hurricane…”

S.Luggo August 19, 2009 at 5:25 pm

“Bill and Hillary Clinton are returning to Bermuda 30 years after their daughter was conceived here.”
Suddenly Bermuda seems so dirty.

Bronkers August 19, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Well, that is one ooooolllld photo from the leaner midsection ‘n’ thighs and more-melanin’s hair follicle days.

You NEVER see a pic of Hillary Rodham Clinton showing her legs. Especially in the past few years. And for good reason, poor gal; them’s the ‘too-bad’ breaks in the genetic lottery.

liquiddaddy August 19, 2009 at 5:28 pm

They make burkinis for a reason.

lemprika August 19, 2009 at 5:33 pm

So Hurricane Bill is gonna ruin their weekend and it’s set to hit the Cape on Monday which is when the Pres is supposed to roll up there. This Hurricane season must be funded by the Republicans.

zhubajie August 19, 2009 at 5:56 pm

[re=390949]jetjaguar[/re]: Time for Pres. Bill to fake his death, go run a pleasure palace in Thailand.

Zorg August 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Shake, shake, shake Senora, shake your body line
Shake, shake, shake Senora, shake it all the time
Work, work, work Senora, work your body line
Work, work, work Senora, work it all the time

My girl’s name is Senora. I tell you friends I adore her.
When she dances oh, brother,
she’s a hurricane in all kinds of weather.

Jump in the line rock your body in time.
O-kay! I believe you. (3 times)
Jump in the line rock your body in time.
Oh!

OzoneTom August 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm

[re=390937]horned_viper[/re]: … and taken when she was a woman half her age.

jodyleek August 19, 2009 at 6:27 pm

How can I leave this behind?

hobospacejunkie August 19, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Surely they don’t still do that?

Holding Out for a Hero August 19, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=390961]Min[/re]: Well done, well done.

Neilist August 19, 2009 at 6:58 pm

AVAST! THE GREAT WHITE LAND WHALE!!! TWO POINTS OFF THE STARBOARD BOW! LOWER THE BOATS!

DangerousLiberal August 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Nice ass there. And good to see you too, Madam Secretary.

Paul Tardy August 19, 2009 at 7:38 pm

For some reason seeing Hillary in a bathing suit makes me want to have sex with Sarah Palin. Whenever I get that feeling I send $20 to the Alaska Fund Trust(*) and dream about it.

(*) The Alaska Fund Trust is the official legal fund created to defend the integrity of the Alaska Governor’s Office from an onslaught of political attacks launched against current Governor Sarah Palin, the First Family, and state-employed colleagues.

graceless August 19, 2009 at 7:51 pm

I heard that they’re staying in separate hotels…

ifthethunderdontgetya" August 19, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=390961]Min[/re]: Min shoots, and scores!
~

Country Club Jihadi August 19, 2009 at 8:24 pm

[re=390968]liquiddaddy[/re]: LMAO.
It will take a hurricane to wash Bill’s 30 year old “DNA” off the walls of that place.

Mahousu August 19, 2009 at 8:35 pm

So this is like that episode in Star Trek where we learn Spock has to return to Vulcan every seven years to breed? Only with a thirty-year gap, the pon farr must be unbelievably strong. I fear for the crockery.

Dashboard_Buddha August 19, 2009 at 8:42 pm

[re=390961]Min[/re]: Brilliant!

graceless August 19, 2009 at 9:14 pm

This is just a silly ploy to confuse the media about Chelsea’s wedding.

ShortShadey August 19, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Nice rack. And Hillary’s ain’t half bad, either.

Buttery1000 August 20, 2009 at 8:31 am

Now we know why Clinton was the first black president.

zhubajie August 20, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=391219]Buttery1000[/re]: First black President: Warren G. Harding.

Tybalt August 20, 2009 at 11:59 am

I want to hit that like Foreman hitting Frazier. I sense wrongness, but I can’t help who I am.

NopantsMcGee August 20, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Everytime I see that photo I hear the sound of a squeegee.

MinnMD August 23, 2009 at 1:13 pm

“It is understood Mr. and Mrs. Clinton have now opted for secluded Cambridge Beaches in Somerset. The plush, adult-only resort has a “clothing optional” sky deck and occasionally hosts sex seminars to improve couples’ relationships.” HUH??? This has got to be a joke. Maybe by the jokesters who came up with notion that proposed health reform would include death panels! Have you ever been to Bermuda? There is NO clothing optional sky deck and “sex seminars” at Cambridge Beaches!!!! Jeez – what some people will believe is unbelievable.

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