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Just say no to other people getting the quality healthcare you enjoy.The most fearsome paramilitary organization in the country, the AARP, has seen a precipitous decline in membership since they declared that maybe our nation’s health care system needed a tweak or two. Blasphemy! Between 50,000 and 60,000 members have quit the AARP in disgust since July 1.

OK, so that’s a drop in the bucket compared to the 40 MILLION olds who still belong to the AARP. But we are not Nate Silver here, so we’ll just call it a “precipitous decline,” because it sounds scarier that way!

So who are the angry codgers who have forever renounced the seductions of AARP: The Magazine (the world’s largest circulation magazine! Remember that, Ifill, for your next game show appearance) and sweet discounts on Reeboks? They are, presumably, the sort of nutters who everybody laughs at for warning Obama to keep his filthy government paws off their Medicare.

Many of the defectors have destroyed their AARP cards and are switching to a relatively new group called American Seniors Association, which bills itself as the conservative alternative to AARP.

[…] The A.S.A. is appealing directly to disaffected AARP members, urging them to cut or tear up their AARP cards and join A.S.A. at a discount. It is also playing on the fears of many in the over-50 crowd who are worried that an overhaul will end up costing them money and lowering their quality of care.

Well, shit. Maybe an overhaul will cost people money or lower their quality of care. Fortunately, the Death Panels should be able to institute some pretty dramatic cost-cutting measures.

A Mini-Mutiny at AARP Over Health Care [NYT: Prescriptions]

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  • WhatTheHeck

    the conservative alternative to AARP is American Senile Seniors, or ASS.

  • nbawriter

    Dear Baby Boomers: Please die, you old, self-centered douches.

    Signed,

    Generations X, Y, Z and PDQ.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    Being the American Association of Retarded Persons, I thought membership rates would be soaring.

  • honkyman

    I *thought* about burning my AARP card, but then I looked again at my latest issue with Bruce Springsteen on the cover, and looked at back issues with luminaries like Pamela Anderson and Zsa Zsa Gabor on foldout and thought, Nah, I really couldn’t live without my AARP.

  • ella

    First Reader’s Digest goes Chapter 11 now AARP is going down the tubes. Not a great summer for the olds.

  • Todd Mecklem

    Does the A.S.A. offer a Senior Discount at gun shows? They’ll be signing up cranky oldsters by the score. “Those Muslins can have my Metamucil when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers!”

  • facehead

    In response, the white house states Obama is joining NWA.

  • user-of-owls

    So the Metamucil-addled crowd abandons AARP in droves, which reduces the effectiveness of the most powerful lobbying entity representing the ancients, which gives them less of a voice in national policymaking, which, well, is an unalloyed good in both a political and ironic sense.

    Can we find out who the incognito hipsters are that founded ASA are?

  • gmdoll

    Hmmm….just reached the age when they sent me a inviation to join (yes, I am an old!), perhaps I shall exercise that option to show my solidarity with their stance.

  • Cicada

    I think they’ll regret their decision when they have to pay FULL PRICE on their next rental car. Feel the burn, olds!

  • Min

    Well, at least senility is a step up from racism. The Republican Party must be so proud.

  • norbizness

    The bit about them destroying their AARP cards is hilarious. Seeing as even mid-range boomers can join the AARP (the minimum age is 50), I’ll bet it will do every bit as good at slowing down the AARP politburo as burning their draft cards did to end the Vietnam War.

    Seeing as I’m six years older than the maximum permitted by Logan’s Run, I won’t go there.

  • FredZiffel

    Grampa Simpson on Social Security and Medicare:

    “I didn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, but if the government misses one of my payments, I’ll raise hell!”

  • Dave J.

    [re=390397]gmdoll[/re]: I think they start sending that shit out when people are like 42 now.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Yay, the pic of Ima Oldfuck is back!

    [re=390401]Min[/re]: Or virulent anti-Semitism.

  • freakishlystrong

    Aggghhh! Are we now going to have conservative offshoots of everything? We’ve already got “Gippers List”, these old asshole cranks, fucking Blue Dogs, FUX Noise. What’s next a righter wing?

  • Terry

    They’ll be back when it dawns on them that they just lost their AARP discount.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m starting a new organization called Free United Capitalists Keeping ‘Merica Exceptional. We oppose Obama’s horrible socialism. Just send me your welfare checks and you’ll get a 50% discount on membership.

  • taylormattd

    Oops. This is false. Same bullshit story in the Times as was first reported on CBS. All of the info about people quitting is directly from the old wignut group. They got CBS to buy it by using the phrase “up to” 60,000 people have quit.

    Yay! More wingnut lies being laundered via the stupid press.

  • user-of-owls
  • Jumping Jim

    Everyone knows that ASA stands for American Softball Association!

  • AxmxZ

    After weeks of dieting, my body weight is also in precipitous decline: I lost 1/5th of a pound!

  • the problem child

    Broken hip? Take an ASA and call me in the morning, then, you seniles. Oh wait, YOU HAVE medicare already. I guess you can take the whole bottle, then.

  • bumfug

    [re=390392]ella[/re]: Reader’s Digest went under because the only ones reading it were the current AARP members’ parents.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=390411]Terry[/re]:

    Aug. 19 (Bloomberg) Shares of several restaurant francises, including Western Sizzler and Denny’s, are plummeting today. “This is a bloodbath for these stocks, it’s a complete freefall,” according to market analyst Gog M. Agog. He noted that not all franchises were suffering losses though. “The damage seems to be limited to those chains that offer Early Bird Specials for some reason,” Agog said.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=390408]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Anita BM..I love that pic…

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    It seems that these 40 million (and rapidly growing) population of old people are resistant to the pig flu. There is NO DOUBT people that the AARP scientist (they’re slow but thorough as long as they get their naps) have created this disease to rid the earth of the young. Soon there will be free Viagra dispensers in every restroom right next to the adult diaper changing table.

  • Carrabuda

    OK, let’s look at the context that the NYT helpfully provides:

    AARP emphasizes that 60,000 is a small percentage of its total membership of 40 million. And it says that during the same time period, 400,000 people joined AARP and 1.5 million renewed their memberships. (It typically loses 300,000 people a month because of their failure to renew their memberships or because of death.)

    So basically this band of renegades amounts to 1/5 of AARP’s usual monthly attrition figure? And WAY MORE people joined than left? BFD. Good god, the press is pathetic sometimes. And I say that as a sometime member thereof.

  • martinette

    I don’t think I’ve seen a more hilarious “privacy policy” than the one on ASA’s website:
    http://www.americanseniors.org/Pages/PrivacyPolicy.aspx?Images=/images/american_services.JPG

  • qwerty42

    [re=390416]user-of-owls[/re]: redstate …. what a bunch of nuts. some of the respondents are asking what Rush and Sean think. Yeah. the deep thinkers.

  • V572625694

    The writer of the block-quoted text is guilty of some terrible acronym abuse. Why is is A.S.A and AARP? Why isn’t it A.A.R.P. and ASA? Some of these people wouldn’t last two minutes working for the U.S government.

    [re=390392]ella[/re]: [re=390426]bumfug[/re]: Readers Digest >/i>is reorganizing, but not stopping publication. Believe it or not, about 6 million Olds still subscribe that hideous rag. What bankrupted them was leveraged debt when the Wallace family sold out to a hedge fund. If you young whippersnappers would read Old-oriented dead-tree media more (thanks, WSJ!), instead of hanging out on the Internets, you’d know this stuff.

  • S.Luggo

    Skip the “Obama wants to smother you in your bed and steal your Medicare” shit, and scroll down to see who ASA’s sponsor is.
    Personally, I thought that it would be the House of Krupp, but I was wrong.
    http://www.americanseniors.org/pages/PressOnMedia.aspx?Images=/images/american_financial_products.jpg

  • ShamWow

    Damn! Those discounts on super-sexy Rockports really are sweet. 40% off just because you’re old? These olds better do some serious soul-searching before tearing up that precious AARP card

    http://products.aarp.org/discounts/retail/reebok_rockport/?intcmp=FD1_DISCOUNT_081709

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=390396]user-of-owls[/re]: I, too, was thinking along the lines of divide-and-conquer.

    Lets see: our librul moles will now infiltrate the NRA, to start an internecine war between the gun nuts who think their rifles are teh shit and the gun nuts who say pistols are where it’s at (with the shotgun crowd marginalized into non-existence); next, they infiltrate the KKK and cause violent struggle between pillow-case-heads who think we should just lynch the niggers n’ Jews and those who really think they should start off with the Catholics, and right now.

    After that, it’s just a matter of matter of getting TruckNutz owners to kill each other over whether it’s best to have flesh colored TruckNuts or more cool to have them painted the same color as your truck.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=390436]martinette[/re]: Why you hate old people?

  • hobospacejunkie

    My father is 76 and still working full-time as a chemical engineer. He ain’t taking no socialist check from the govt (don’t know if he uses Medicare, I’m guessing he has to.) These lazy fuck olds need to shut up, quit fucking up our government and get back to work. Otherwise it’s Soylent Green for the lot of ’em.

  • V572625694

    [re=390438]V572625694[/re]: Ha ha, it’s funny because I abused HTML while talking about punctuation.

    Actually not.

  • imissopus

    [re=390404]FredZiffel[/re]: Or another of Grandpa’s great moments, after walking into a Social Security office:

    “I’m old! Gimme gimme gimme!”

  • Roger3815

    I hate to say this but America will be a better place when most of these old fucks die off.

  • S.Luggo

    On the web, USA Today: “Gibbs: Obama wants bi-partisan bill (no matter what the media says)”

    Sweet Jesus, I’m ready. Call me home.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=390416]user-of-owls[/re]: Ick, I held my nose and went and read that. It looks like you either must worship Palin or are a less retarded, (therefore less revered), Conservative. Holy shit, the Heritage Foundation??! Eat your own, Piggies!

  • Norbert

    ASA, Conservipedia, etc. Why don’t we just admit we need a two-state solution, like, uh, India and Pakistan, because that has worked out so well. One of the new territories could be a fairly prosperous, decent, modern place to live, let’s call it America, and the other could be like a teeming cesspool of hillbillies. It could be named Ozarkia. Ohio/Pennsylvania could be our Kashmir, with only occasional shots fired. However, if Ozarkia somehow was on the verge of developing weapons of mass destruction, a pre-emptive strike would have to be on the table, but I would be surprised if they retained any technology beyond toaster strudel after a single generation.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Guess it’s finally time to re-up the old man and join myself. I’ve been waiting for incentive.

  • OzoneTom

    Now I feel bad about throwing out the invitations to join the AARP. I guess that I’ll take the plunge with the next one I get. Wouldn’t want folks to think that I am a member of A.S.S. …

  • Servo

    Can’t we just drop asteroids on Florida’s Gulf coast and The Bible Belt?

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=390436]martinette[/re]: Our cookies [do or do not] have an expiration date.

    Ha! You know some cottontop is going to profess their love of Mrs. Fields when talking to a membership counselor. And call back repeatedly when nothing is received.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=390465]Roger3815[/re]: Just keep in mind that people will be saying the same thing about us one of these days.

  • DustBowlBlues

    what is that twat thing at the bottom of that page? Is that for for old farts, or is Sara expecting us to twat her?

    Please tell me no.

  • DustBowlBlues

    The sooner we set up those opium dens that only accept Medicare, the sooner we can solve this problem.

  • yellowdogdem

    [re=390465]Roger3815[/re]: Geez, has it not occurred to you that you’re going to be an old f*** one day yourself? I think we need to focus on hoping more Wingnuts will die, starting with Dick Cheney.

  • Chickensmack

    [re=390436]martinette[/re]: Wow, that is fantastic reading. Here’s a sample of its sentences; each is unedited:

    The information is collected [voluntarily or involuntarily].
    To receive our products and services, [type of information] is mandatory because [explain reason].
    Our cookies [do or do not] have an expiration date.
    Our cookies [do or do not] collect personally identifiable information. [If so, list what and why.]
    We verify the accuracy of this information by [explain verification procedure].
    We collect demographic data in order to [explain reason].

    The A. S. A… Your Privacy, Our Policy.

  • Jim89048

    I imagine most of those 60,000 defectors actually died in their sleep rather than burned their AARP cards. I’ve been throwing away their membership offers for 12 years now–got my first one at 45. I might have to join, just like when I had to buy a Dixie Chicks CD…

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=390483]Norbert[/re]:
    Not Ozarkia, Dumbfuckistan.

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=390411]Terry[/re]: You can just imagine the hell they’re going to raise at Denny’s when they get refused access to the senior menu.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=390444]ShamWow[/re]: Olds don’t like Rockports, even with the sweet discount. Easy Spirit and SAS are more their speed, since you want comfy shoes when doing your daily mall walking.

    /former shoe salesperson at Macy’s

  • loudmouthredhead

    Now, when you say 50K-60K members have “quit”, are you using that term in the same way I use the word “sleeping” to tell a child what happened to their upside-down floating goldfish? Because, really, we can handle that. That’s really not a bad thing, in this case.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    […] The A.S.A. is appealing directly to disaffected AARP members, urging them to cut or tear up their AARP cards and join A.S.A. at a discount.”

    And if they’re really mad, they should tear up their Medicare and Medicaid cards too!! That’ll show the Nazi Demoncrats! And then they can just take advantage of the special private health-insurance offers provided by A.S.A.’s generous sponsors!

  • June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=390406]Dave J.[/re]: Yeah, they started sending me their lit years ago. Now they annoy me with the fact that my daughter is 34, not me.

  • martinette

    [re=390447]S.Luggo[/re]: Because they’re all wrinkly and smell like nursing homes and old Reeboks.

  • bamaboy

    [re=390500]yellowdogdem[/re]: Good idea! But how do we kill off the Reich Wingnuts?

    I thought appointing Hillary as Secretary of State would cause a thousand heat attacks but that wasn’t near enough. Heck, having a black President should cause them enough depression for a bunch of suicides.

    Not having health care will help a lot – the folks who need care the most are the ones who oppose it.

  • Sick Puppy

    [re=390448]hobospacejunkie[/re]: It’s good he’s still working, and therefore contributing to The System. God knows I’m not paying in to the system, what with being unemployed and all. And even more excellent that he doesn’t want the gov’t check – more for me when (if) I make it to 65!

    Good ploy for ASS to siphon off the stupids from AARP. As someone else mentioned, AARP has gained extra this month, probably old libtards like me who hadn’t yet signed up but want to have a louder voice in health insurance reform. Medicare for everybody my age and up! Maybe I’ll root through trash bins to find enough recyclabes to join AARP!

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=390513]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I’m going to add that to my collection of signs to bring to counter-protest the next town hall meeting:

    “Stop socialist government meddling in healthcare! Tear up your Medicare cards NOW!”

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=390513]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Why would they want to quit Medicare? It’s not like it’s a government program or anything

  • NotNotLickingToads

    I like the fact that working stiffs pay to help keep these folks healthy enough to derail any effort by said working stiffs to share in the wealth.

    Who cares if 8 million kids lack insurance? We have scooters and boner pills to subsidize.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    When I reach the age where I have to decide whether to join AARP or ASA, I’m going with whichever organization will best protect me from the robots.

  • OKLAHOMAjesus?

    The AARP seriously sent me an information packet to join like a month ago. I’m 22… I wouldn’t mind the discounts, but I worry that people might not believe me if I showed them my card.

  • El Pinche

    [re=390386]nbawriter[/re]: Can you create support wall and we’ll all sign it with pleasure.

  • finallyhappy

    I joined AARP- I am not sure why(I am old). Now I am proud to be a card carrying member of this socialist Hopey worshipping group.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=390570]OKLAHOMAjesus?[/re]: Just tell them botox can do wonders for the face these days.

  • Zorg

    [re=390436]martinette[/re]: Good catch! I laughed so hard a bubble of Ensure came out of my nose!

  • Heywood Jablome

    Norbert – I proposed something similar to my despairing libtard friends after the 2004 election, but a step further. Let’s just have all the edumacated, knowledge-workers (and craftsfolk) re-immigrate back to Europe and let the detritus find it’s lowest level in a plantation-like theocracy where the rabble scratches out a living selling each other cheap chinese-made shit at Walmart or raising rabbits for pets (or food). “Tell me about the rabbits again, Sarah.”

    Each of us would get to choose from our personal spectrum of mongrel ancestry and in so doing we’d help Ye Olde Europe reverse its alarming demographic decline (read: Mulsim Reconquista)

    Win-win-win! Oktoberfest and Berlin Love Parade here I come!

  • CaliforniaMike

    [re=390406]Dave J.[/re]: I got an invitation when I was 38. Of course, the fact that I served in the Big One, WWII, and stormed the beach at Normandy probably had something to do with it.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=390411]Terry[/re]: “They’ll be back when it dawns on them that they just lost their AARP discount.” Maybe we could convince Denny’s to make them show their cards before they can get the 4 p.m. senior special. Dawn would come pretty quick.

  • snarkistani refugee

    This is sure to drive a wedge between Gog and Magog.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=390386]nbawriter[/re]: Don’t forget ‘Generation WTF’ (born 2015-2030, just before the Great Crash…)

  • Bearbloke

    [re=390392]ella[/re]: What? Budget cutbacks have forced the CIA to stop propping up Reader Digest? Another time-honoured bastion of American Corporatist propaganda goes by the wayside…

  • Bearbloke

    [re=390400]Cicada[/re]: But they get FREE PARKING at their next Death Panel appointment – huzzah!

  • c-freak

    [re=390408]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: i swear to god that’s my father in-law!

  • Bearbloke

    [re=390565]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]:
    Protect you from the robots?

    “Come with them, if you want to live.”

  • Bearbloke

    [re=390621]CaliforniaMike[/re]: So then, your icon is a true-to-life painting of yourself?

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    50,000 would probably be a normal annual rate of turnover for a group as large as AARP; for example, I let my membership lapse until I need to buy something expensive enough that the AARP discount pays for the membership renewal. Note that the Wingnut retired group isn’t claiming the figure as new membership. I’m always amazed at the way fascists create organizations with almost no membership, yet receive all kinds of attention and respect in the MSM. We had an anti-tax group around here that consisted of one wingnut, his girlfriend and a pal; they were frequently quoted in every media outlet for miles and took credit for defeating a college school bond proposition! Another redneck “environmental” group with a few dozen members and no real nonprofit status has made the group’s officers a small fortune by suing developers over water use and paying the officers the damages collected. The right wing has mastered the art of the phony nonprofit.

  • bullship

    This old woman pretty much sums up what the GOP stands for. Here is an old, angry, white, fat, stupid,spiteful and noticeably ugly creature.

    I won’t call her a Nazi, that is reserved for the GOP mentality. I will rejoice in the fact that my mother was nothing like this hate spewing haggard old thing. Thanks to creatures like her, the younger generation is running around yelling fuck the baby boomers, euthanize them all. One look at this creature and you instantly know she is not part of the greatest generation that ever lived. She is a blood sucking leach that is living off the hard toil of her parents and others such as them.

    Would someone please take this old biddy down to the social security office so that she is able to turn in her social security card and give back those social security benefits. While she is there, point her in the correct direction to turn in that medicare card as well. One last look at this ugly creature and I realize why the GOP is such a morally bankrupt organization.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=390593]Heywood Jablome[/re]: As I am of Ukranian/Russian ancestry, I don’t quite agree with that portion of your plan, as much as I admire the thought. I did, however, take High School French so maybe that could get me into France? And some of my furniture is Ikea so maybe Sweden then?

  • HuddledMass

    [re=390493]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I don’t know, I’m 60 and I say it all the time.

    Specifically, I say: “What’s wrong with this country is stupid, old, white people.”

  • el smrtmnky

    will this mean they’ll be burning their depends along with their AARP cards?

  • PaulG

    No one has mentioned that during the same period AARp lost 60,000 members because of their support for health care reform, they enrolled 400,000 new members and reenrolled 1.5 million existing members. Lets see, when I went to school, 400,000 minus 60,000 was [calculating . . .] 340,000 — a membership increase of 340,000. Guess they really lost out on that one.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=390974]el smrtmnky[/re]: Ah, the smell of burning shit and …freedom.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=390444]ShamWow[/re]: 40%!!!??? I need to find me an old…Daddy needs a new pair of Rockports!!!!

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