GOOD LUCK WITH THAT  11:10 am August 18, 2009

Kay Bailey Hutchison Officially Intends To Kick Rick Perry’s Ass

by Sara K. Smith

Git 'er doneTo the surprise of no one, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison officially declared that she would be running for governor of Texas against Rick Perry, who could potentially serve FOURTEEN FRIGGING YEARS as head of that state. The race got off to a colorful unofficial start in late July when Internet sleuths discovered secret gay code words, such as “Rick Perry gay,” on the senator’s campaign site.

Minor quibble here: why is it that female politicians’ campaign branding so often focuses on their first name? Hillary Clinton’s massive “HILLARY” signs, Sarah Palin’s SarahPAC, and now Kay For Governor … Are women’s last names just too terrifying for Average Voters?

Anyway, Hutchison will lose, due to all the nutbags voting in the GOP primary, and then Rick Perry will commence years 10-14 of his thousand-year rule.

Hutchison kicks off governor’s race, slams Perry [The Hill]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 38 comments }

give us a bob August 18, 2009 at 11:16 am

Finally, Texas gubernatorial campaigns graduate to third grade, where they’d call each other fags and whine about getting herpie-cooties.

user-of-owls August 18, 2009 at 11:20 am

why is it that female politicians’ campaign branding so often focuses on their first name?

It all started after the notorious primary pitting Elizabeth Gog against Kathleen Magog.

Hawaiiexpat August 18, 2009 at 11:22 am

Rick Perry dresses better than Hutchison, dances better than Hutchison, and loves Audrey Hepburn movies.

That’s all you have to know.

CorkPopper August 18, 2009 at 11:23 am

I’m with you, Sara. I understand the HILLARY thing (no not THAT Clinton!) but the others are infantilizing. Of course SarahPAC is supporting an (emotional) infant, so maybe there’s some logic there as well.

rambone August 18, 2009 at 11:24 am

@Sara K. Smith: why is it that female politicians’ campaign branding so often focuses on their first name?

It makes us insecure male types feel less insecure that we’re voting ladies into positions of authority over us.

As an aside, I thinking I just got myself a little excited . . .

dum librul August 18, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=389139]user-of-owls[/re]: I believe she goes by Liz Gog now.

Paul Tardy August 18, 2009 at 11:25 am

Well I’m still upset. You see I was number 89 on the line for one of the 400 Mormon kinds. Then inexplicably they give ALL the Mormon kids back even though their parents didn’t even get on line like the rest of us. Normally I wouldn’t be upset but I had a low number and these kids were raised organic. Now I am stuck looking into Romanian Gypsy Somali mixes or crippled Chinese. For that reason I will never support Rick Perry.

Terry August 18, 2009 at 11:28 am

In Perry’s defense, when he took over for Dubya, he actually backtracked on some of the changes Dubya had put in. In Dubya’s short tenure as governor, his “reforms” and appointees ended up giving Houston some of the worst air in the country despite it being on friggin flat prairie with a year round strong wind through the area. Perry came in and had the resource agencies start enforcing the laws again and Houston went back to having merely crappy air rather than horrendous.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 18, 2009 at 11:32 am

Riveting. Given their constituencies, it’ll be like watching the Battle of the Backcombed, Beehived Bitterz.

rmontcal August 18, 2009 at 11:34 am

GILF?

El Pinche August 18, 2009 at 11:37 am

Oh god, this is going to be nasty. They’re two horrible people and Republicans fighting for Emperor of Texas. It’s going to be a Gallagher show with human excrement. (Note: Gallagher is in my mac dictionary, WTF!!??)

Carrie_Okie August 18, 2009 at 11:37 am

Kay Bailey Hutchison Officially Intends To Kick Rick Perry’s GAY Ass
(fixed)

the prophet of Deseret August 18, 2009 at 11:38 am

“That man has a head of hair every Texan can be proud of, regardless of party.”

Also, when Rick Perry talks about secession, isn’t the general sentiment something like, “…um, please proceed?” It would sure shorten my drive between New Orleans and Tucson, to take Texas out. And I have a feeling that Texas would become even more entertaining as its own country. I also support the same move for Utah.

norbizness August 18, 2009 at 11:41 am

I am loathe to time-travel back to 1992 and tell 19-year-old idealistic me that one day I’d be openly rooting for a Kay Bailey Hutchinson victory of any type. I seem to remember a time when the Texas Democratic Party actually ran people for statewide office, but that could just be fuzzy, false memories fueled by ‘shroom juice.

freakishlystrong August 18, 2009 at 11:42 am

Wait, Rick Perry isn’t gay?

WhatTheHeck August 18, 2009 at 11:48 am

Sara, how come no mention of which candidate is endorsed by god.
This is the GOP we are talking about. Still, god told Kay to run, right?

hobospacejunkie August 18, 2009 at 11:49 am

So we’ll have a halfwit sitting governor with medieval social views running against possibly the most anonymous US senator in history. Perry favors making all roads into toll roads with profits going to some Spanish outfit, while KBH, according to her record, believes nothing, has no strong views on anything and has never had her name attached to even one significant piece of legislation. And they were both cheerleaders in school. Leave it to Texas to have an election where no matter who wins, we lose. Kay’s only chance is to have a large Democratic turnout vote for her in the Republican primary.

You Will Be Towed August 18, 2009 at 11:54 am

[re=389134]give us a bob[/re]: Have some sympathy for your fellow wonketters (wonketeers?) who happen to be Texans. At least you won’t be subjected to the classroom spitball throwing every day when you access your friendly local media. It would be funny except … no, under no scenario is it funny. Meh.

dum librul August 18, 2009 at 11:55 am

[re=389172]hobospacejunkie[/re]: What is going on with Texas governors and cheerleading?

user-of-owls August 18, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=389147]dum librul[/re]: Who told you that she goes by that name? They are not your friend.

You Will Be Towed August 18, 2009 at 12:00 pm

[re=389181]dum librul[/re]: Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the primary function of the Governor of Texas is to lead off with a cheer each morning aimed at the populace of our great state. “Give me an F! Give me a U! …” Generally pointedly directed at little children needing health care.

You Will Be Towed August 18, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=389187]You Will Be Towed[/re]: Sorry, that should have been directed to hobospacejunkie.

Maxine of Arc August 18, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Thank God Kinky Friedman’s running again!

cynbot August 18, 2009 at 12:31 pm

She should hire Tammy Bakker to be her campaign manager, and get a major cosmetics company to sponsor her campaign, and then it would be Mary Kay for Governor.

lulzmonger August 18, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=389181]dum librul[/re]:

The PomPoms Of Texas are upon y’all.

The lady-candidate first-name thing? Merely a pale symbolic substitute for “Hey, Guys – Check THESE Out!”

DangerousLiberal August 18, 2009 at 12:56 pm

“Anyway, Hutchison will lose, due to all the nutbags voting in the GOP primary…”

This tells you all you need to know about Planet Texas: Kay’s the “moderate.” How do you like your right wingnuttery–semi-crazy, or proto-fascist?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 18, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Fine, fine, but more importantly, what is Hutchison’s position on secession?

inedalo August 18, 2009 at 1:02 pm

cheerleaders in texas- wasn’t there a dummy called Gov. Dumbya Bush, who was also a cheerleader.
what does all this mean for texas?
and by the way, i read yrs ago that the job of texas governor is constitutionally a very weak position. can some texan tell me if this is true or not?

Zorg August 18, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=389349]inedalo[/re]: Yes, way back, in the years of Reconstruction following the War of Northern Aggression, when, as the charming Southern formula goes, “Only fools and niggers voted Republican,” the Democratic Texas legislature made the position of governor very weak and the position of Lieutenant Governor stronger. That’s one reason why the ever-vigilant media missed what a complete tool George Bush was when he was governor. He didn’t have enough power to do some real damage.

desertwind August 18, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Oh, Saint Molly Ivins, we miss you so.

Slow Fish August 18, 2009 at 1:16 pm

[re=389349]inedalo[/re]: When Texas revised its constitution after Reconstruction, they didn’t want a strong legislature or a strong governor. Then they realized someone had to be in charge, so they gave all the power to the Lieutenant Governor (who runs for election separately from the governor, not on the same ticket, and is not necessarily from the same party as the governor). Later, when oil was discovered, the Texas Railroad Commission got the power to regulate oil production (under the same philosophy of “someone had to be in charge”). So the Lieutenant Governor and the Railroad Commission pretty much run everything.

masterdebater August 18, 2009 at 1:20 pm

“Minor quibble here: why is it that female politicians’ campaign branding so often focuses on their first name? Hillary Clinton’s massive “HILLARY” signs, Sarah Palin’s SarahPAC, and now Kay For Governor … Are women’s last names just too terrifying for Average Voters?”

Well, it just sounds rude to call a woman by her last name. We’re REALLY supposed to call our former president’s wife simply, Bush? See? It’s just not right. Trollop, bitch, ho, all perfectly acceptable though. Not the “c-word” though….no, not even republican womens I’m told.

Zorg August 18, 2009 at 1:21 pm

[re=389372]desertwind[/re]: Oh, ditto, ditto!

pub_option August 18, 2009 at 1:26 pm

I think the reason why Kay Bailey Hutchinson is not using her last name is that she is afraid that Texas voters will see a string of names, and assume that Carole Keeton Fill-in-the-blank has divorced and remarried again, and is once again running for some/any office.

Baconbits August 18, 2009 at 2:34 pm

[re=389192]Maxine of Arc[/re]: Oh yay – that’s just what we need. Kinky can split the vote again and keep the democrats out of the (burnt down) Governor’s Mansion for another 4 years.

Styrofoam Boots August 18, 2009 at 5:26 pm

In Texas, women aren’t allowed to have last names.

Jukesgrrl August 18, 2009 at 7:19 pm

I’m supporting Perry as long as secession is in his platform.

[re=389528]Baconbits[/re]: I agree with you. I enjoy Kinky, but he’s the Ralph Nader of state politics.

MFAWG August 18, 2009 at 8:18 pm

No snark here.

Just an awesome, awesome little piece of politicking. Perry should be very, very afraid if that’s the FIRST thing she pulls out of the bag.

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