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Chuck Grassley Continues To Not Help Anything

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Here’s your favorite Chuck Todd asking old Chuck Grassley a very good question, today: If you get everything you want in a health care bill, and you think it is a good bill for the American health care system, but only three or four Republicans will ever go for this bill because THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT THE POLITICS OF KILLING OBAMA, would you then vote against it? Your own gutted co-op-loving bill that you wrote? Grassley responds with a hearty “YOU BET I WOULD VOTE AGAINST IT!” And so the good-faith bipartisan negotiations go. [MSNBC via Ezra Klein]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    His ass is Grassley.

  • finallyhappy

    Is Grassley’s skin coming off his face? I remember “V”- so I think I know what is going on here

  • slappypaddy

    why is that turtle wearing a necktie?

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Damn you Jim, I can’t top your headline.

  • Bearbloke

    “Mr. Grassley, your Obama Death Panel appointment is scheduled for next…”

  • V572625694

    “It isn’t a good deal if I can’t sell my product to more Republicans.”

    This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from it, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.
    —-A Lincoln

  • Hooray For Anything

    I think all you need to know about how the health care debate has turned into the health care debate that we have is MSNBC’s cute little health care headline “Death Panel Death Match.” Oh, MSM, is there no serious issue that you can’t turn into a thrilling political horse race story based upon total bullshit issues?

  • Roger3815

    Republicans will buy whatever Rush tells them too.

  • CornFedIABoy

    Goodness, I sure do regret voting for him.

  • Nerdalicious

    Why do I get the feeling the Grey Panthers are taking over the planet, 2 seconds before they shuffle off it, just to leave us moton lava & methane?

  • gurukalehuru

    You have to remember, Chuck, I’m a Republican, and whether it’s a good bill or not has nothing whatsoever to do with it.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    I’m just waiting for this generation of lawmakers to die off, but it could take a while, given their fantastic government-provided health care :'(.

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=388495]Hooray For Anything[/re]:

    I have to admit, if they had a reality TV series titled “Death Panel Death Match” that featured, say, Chuck Grassley, and, hmmm, Barney Frank or Al Frankin armed with chainsaws and flamethrowers in a booby-trapped maze I might consider setting my DVR to catch it. Provided, of course, it was hosted by Mario Lopez in a speedo.

  • hockeymom

    I would like to see him on Dancing with the Stars.

  • mollymcguire

    “And Grassley, remember, was willing to say all this publicly.”

    When that little self-censorship chip in the brain fries, it is time for a meeting with the Death Panel.

  • WadISay

    If anybody ever writes a Volume II of JFK’s Profiles in Courage, the chapter on Chuck Grassley will be relatively short.

  • Nerdalicious

    Billy Mays died of eating money! Damn that guy was rich.

  • CrunchyKnee

    [re=388500]CornFedIABoy[/re]: HAHA. Fail.

  • shellbomber

    I hope Chuck Todd is spared when Costco puts all redheads up in front of the death panel.

  • DoctorCulturae

    And this year’s Strom Thurmond Award for Decency in Politics goes to…

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    If this guy taped a set of Truck Nutz to his pants he’d a least have a pair. Pussy!

    And who the hell stole Chuck’s neck?

  • Extemporanus

    Chuck: We could play that game, where I stick my dick in your mouth, and you stick your dick in mine…

  • SmutBoffin


    Name: _______________
    Age: _______________

    Party (check one):
    ( ) Republican ( ) Libertarian ( ) Whatever the hell LaRouche and Nader are

    Infirmity (check one):
    ( ) too old for Walmart/McDonalds ( ) Trig-inosis
    ( ) diabeetus ( ) fucktardation

    Recommended disposal technique (check one):
    ( ) anal crucifixion ( ) linoleum knife
    ( ) death by chocolate-diabetics only
    ( ) Wasilla turkey processing plant

    Signatures of panel members:

  • kdaddy

    Hey Gassy, Chuck over here and kiss my ass.

  • germansteel

    The fact that it is taking forever and a day for it to dawn on the Democrats that the Republicans fully intend to water down health insurance reform to a meaningless and unworkable pile of shit and something that really stinks, and then they will still not vote for it, makes me wish there was a Death Panel in the legislation that I could appear before and let them put me out of my misery (on the Medicare dime).

  • the deliverator

    At this point, i’m so tired of all this “let’s scare everyone” crap, I want some elected official (who obv has no plans for re-election) to bring a copy of opt-out forms for social security, medicare, Veteran’s assistance, and congress’s health plan to every town hall. For everyone who disagrees with teh “socialism”, they can be offered the option to opt-out of the gov’t’s other “socialist” programs. And every republican who is against the health bill can be offered to opt out of their health plan and buy health insurance privately. I would love to see the wingnuts prevaricate their way out of NOT opting out.

  • stormkite

    shorter headline: “Grassley still Republican.” Says the same thing with many fewer pixels.

  • Min

    Bipartisanship is dead. Set a bouquet of plastic roses on top of it and move on.

  • norbizness

    “Wow! This is even more fun than being in power and pretending to get stuff done! Graham, Enzi, Cornyn, come here… let’s promise never to be in power ever again!”

  • SayItWithWookies

    Beautiful. I will be sending this to every Democrat on the Senate Finance Committee as soon as I get home. Over and over again. His goal isn’t to get a bill that anybody likes — in fact, it’s to get a bill that everybody hates.

  • Nerdalicious

    Filling out now. I have guardianship over Cornface Assley.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=388500]CornFedIABoy[/re]: If you’re over 30 & bearded, send me nude pix and I’ll forgive you…

  • assistant/atlas

    I will be sending $5 and a can of hobo beans to whichever Dem (plz, Bruce Braley!) is up against ole Chuck in 2010.

  • Nerdalicious

    This is a true story. I had a nightmare last night about Jesse Helms & Halloween. Does anyone here interpret dreams?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=388555]Nerdalicious[/re]: and I’ll ‘take guardianship’ over Rupert Murdock… ‘tho you Yanks shouldn’t’ve ever let him in anyway…

  • Hooray For Anything

    You can’t spell Grassley without “ass”

  • Bearbloke

    [re=388563]Nerdalicious[/re]: Yes – your dream mean you’re ghey!

  • chascates

    Has anyone said how these co-ops will work? Will I have to put in 5 hours a month at my local one to take part? Will they be pushing tetanus shots because they got such a good deal on the vaccine?

  • magic titty

    I believe Grassley is referring to the pubic option we’ve heard so much about today.

  • Nerdalicious

    “Nerdalicious: Yes – your dream mean you’re ghey!”
    But I have the hots for Paul Krugman, how could this possibly be true?
    I think the nightmare means: Jesse Helms will rise from Hell on Halloween & destroy Commie Care for good! And then he’ll take all the screaming olds back to hell with him. (Seriously, I did have that nightmare last night, the unconscious mind doesn’t lie!)

  • Nerdalicious

    “Has anyone said how these co-ops will work?”
    It’s a commune wellnes camp (prison) for sick poor people & children. Instead of making license plates for medical care & food sick poors will have to build volts. Remember the debtors prisons in victorian england in the 1800’s? Kind of the same thing but for sick people who have gone bankrupt from catastrophic illness.

  • bamaboy

    Thank God for Senators like this, he makes ours look nearly human.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=388525]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: The sel-same diabolic chicken that wlaked across his face and fucked his fuckin chin.

  • rocktonsammy

    Well at least Grassley has been a advocate for family farms.

    Oh wait…

    Fuck him.

  • facehead

    what the fuck are these co-ops? Is that where we all sit around naked and share fruit and needles?

  • Big Al1317

    Health care reform is dead. Game over. Go to the co-op for fruits and vegetables, and a colonoscopy.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=388571]chascates[/re]: Here in San Francisco anything co-op related usually involves things like wheat grass, tofu, and lots of fliers celebrating the Mother Godess. So, I’m guessing a health care co-op would mean mandatory yoga classes, vegan dieting, and meditation retreats.

  • Pithaughn

    No no, the co-ops are like a really exclusive country club. A board is elected, gardners and ditch diggers etc are hired. At the end of the year they divide all the expenses by the number of members send out a bill and kick out any one who can’t pay. The co-ops will be similar only different.

  • Tommmcatt


    Having the hots for Paul Krugman doesn’t make you gay, it makes you a libtard. QED.

  • nightshift

    I still can’t get the image of Grassley “sticking his finger in the dike”. Who is he talking about? Rosie O’donnell? Heather Wilson?

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=388509]Tommmcatt[/re]: How ’bout a midget in a bikini?

  • donner_froh

    Why won’t the dems figure it out? Grassley and the rest of the scoundrels on his side of the aisle aren’t interested in policy–they simply want to stop anything that Obama puts forward.

    The dems are trying to reason with insane people. It never works.

  • Formerly Fred

    Will he vote for it if they include the Pubic Option?

  • Tommmcatt


    I’d watch anything hosted by a midget in a bikini.

  • thefrontpage

    Who are these assholes claiming health care “socialism?”

    We guess that Medicare and Medicaid–which provide health insurance money for tens of millions of Americans, including conservatives, far-right-wingers and Republicanas–is not socialism? Even though it is government-sponsored, taxpayer-sponsored, tax-money-sponsored health care? Of course it’s not “socialism,” and neither is the Obama administration’s health reform plan.

    Nothing done by the Obama administration is in any way “socialism.” If ignorant people think that the government providing money to help certain institutiions is “socialism,” then, fine, we’ll take out all of the government money that goes to Medicaid, Medicaid, Social Security, education, the military, police departments, fire departments, public works agencies, transportation, planning and zoning, code enforcements, consumer affairs regulations, commerce rules, trade laws, import and export laws, existing health care, social services, corrections, jails, prisons, buses, subways, trains, the postal service, drivers’ license agencies, environmental agencies, fish and wildlife agencies, natural resources, pollution controls, and about 5,000 other government functions.

    Is government sponsoring all of these areas “socialism?”

    Maybe we shouldn’t have any government, and we’ll just live in some crazy, psycho, lawless society. Yes, that would be better.

    These protesters need to shut the hell up, get a life, and stop acting like assholes