BUT GOD IS A SOCIALIST  1:39 pm August 17, 2009

Michele Bachmann Will Be President BUT ONLY If God Orders Her To

by Jim Newell

The Dementor's KissImportant World Net Daily provocateur Drew Zahn has written the puff piece from Hell about psychotic Minnesota Monster Michele Bachmann, and you must read it, to be informed about politics. The fappery begins like so: “She began her political career simply, as a Christian mom concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks, but today she has become one of the leading defenders of liberty and conservative principles on Capitol Hill.” You had us at “Christian mom,” Zahn! But anyway, when will she be president?

Hurry up, God!

Finally, WND asked Bachmann if she could see a day when the candidate who began her political career in jeans and a holey sweatshirt would one day run for the presidency.

“If I felt that’s what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it,” she answered. “When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That’s really my standard.

“If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve,” she concluded, “but if I am not called, I wouldn’t do it.”

This is just how George W. Bush became president, right? “God” (his dad’s friends in the oil business) asked him to do it? Well. Let’s see if God can keep His mouth shut this time around. Not everyone can tell when you’re joking, God!

Bold, conservative Bachmann hints at ‘Mrs. President’ future [WND]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 125 comments }

norbizness August 17, 2009 at 1:44 pm

I will happily airlift her district and deposit it in the South Pacific and let her be President of that, so long as they abide by nonproliferation treaties.

Oldskool August 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm

This is God speaking, I’m calling you to come over to my house. Bring condoms.

danceswithcougars August 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm

God to the Archangel Gabriel:

Send in the clowns. There ought to be clowns.

Rodney Badger August 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Moar liek holy sweatshirt amirite?

SmutBoffin August 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Great Reagan’s ghost, there is a soulless, undead horror on the front page of Wonkette! DON’T LOOK OR IT WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN*

*And you thought she had all those kids just for the benefits…

Formerly Preferred August 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm

They misspelled “holy.”

masterdebater August 17, 2009 at 1:47 pm

“She began her political career simply, as a Christian mom concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks, but today she has become one of the leading defenders of liberty and conservative principles on Capitol Hill.”

I think she stole that from Sarah Palin. Also.

Woodwards Friend August 17, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Dear Michele,

I told you to take up running and have sexual congress with your husband. You know, so you’d be more toned and attractive to the man who you swore (on My alter) that you’d submit too. I do not want you running for president. Retire from politics and give Mr. Bachmann more head.

God

Mahousu August 17, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I can totally see God doing this. Because God loves America, and you always hurt the one you love.

El Pinche August 17, 2009 at 1:48 pm

God says more botox is needed…around your psycho lips.

Herman the German August 17, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Great.
Bachmann is a German name.
Like Hitler.

assistant/atlas August 17, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Hey Republicans, if you ever need a candidate more embarrassing than Sarah Palin…..

TGY August 17, 2009 at 1:48 pm

I hear that God votes three times (as the trinity) in elections. Cheater.

Larry Fine August 17, 2009 at 1:49 pm

If I got her in the sack, I’d have her in Bachmann Pretzle positions.

taylormattd August 17, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Jesus, she must smoke 2 and a half packs of Capris a day with those caverns around her mouth. Or is that an anus?

orange August 17, 2009 at 1:49 pm

I guess Osama feels called too.

Country Club Jihadi August 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Are You There God? It’s Me, Targaret.
No worries. God said she’ll be Prez when Imams fly out of His ass.

magic titty August 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Christ she’s ugly. And as in every picture, she looks like she’s trying to get her husband to cum.

uncletravelingmatt August 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

I hate it when god calls on me to do things. The messages are always so damned long, what with the wherefores and thous and whatnot.

iolanthe August 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Whoa. Your neck looks like *shit*, Shelly!

It looks as bad as my neck.

as.the.world.burns August 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

as monstrous as that picture is, and as much as i am terrified beyond belief at the soullessness in those eyes, you MUST keep using it, so that no one can say ‘i’d hit it.’

SayItWithWookies August 17, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Bachmann/God 2012 — Building a Bridge to the Iron Age.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 17, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Dear Michelle:

Don’t make me come down there.

No love,

G*d

swgm August 17, 2009 at 1:51 pm

If she becomes president I will gleefully drive my car off the shiny new 35W bridge.

HoboNutz August 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

how come god never calls on me to be preznit?

SmutBoffin August 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

[re=388249]SmutBoffin[/re]: Shit, I just looked up what a dementor was and I was pretty close with the soul-sucking and all.

scubaix August 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

I have never wanted to set myself on fire…until now.

“She began her political career simply, as a Christian mom concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks”

Backpacks? How much to haz a gallon of gasoline and 1 packet of matches please?

ph7 August 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Misfiring synapses add a certain sparkle to the eye.

Gopherit August 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm

When the guy at the bus stop tells me Jesus is talking to him, I assume he’s off his meds. Why the fuck can these republican politicians say this shit and not be put under a 72 Hour psych hold?

Terry August 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm

“Christian mom concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks”

Honestly, these kids must be attending MUCH more interesting schools than I did.

Johnny Zhivago August 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm

“This is just how George W. Bush became president, right? “God” (his dad’s friends in the oil business) asked him to do it? Well. Let’s see if God can keep His mouth shut this time around. Not everyone can tell when you’re joking, God!”

Funniest line ever!

Min August 17, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Be not deceived. God is not mocked. For whatsoever a dingbat soweth, that shall she also reap.

lukewarm August 17, 2009 at 1:55 pm

This is probably the worst thing she could have said in term of her reelection.

Rodney Badger August 17, 2009 at 1:55 pm

[re=388257]assistant/atlas[/re]: Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin and Katherine Harris will all run together to be co-presidentesses.

RoscoePColtraine August 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

She does whatever the voices in her head tell her to do. This is a problem why?

iolanthe August 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

[re=388260]taylormattd[/re]: The British call that a “cat’s bum”.

BTW, if you would know what Botox looks like, it looks like that picture: smooth smooth forehead, everything else basically crumbling.

I’m older than she is. That’s happening to *my* face, too. But one of the reasons I’ve elected not to have any “work” done is that all you end up with, even with *great* work, are areas of smoothness that just, IMO, make the naturally softening/wrinkling areas nearby look worse/weirder.

I met a 70-something studio head’s wife a few years ago who had this adorable tight little Doll Face sitting in the middle of what looked like a bowl of punched-down wrinkled bread dough.

I’d so much rather just be wrinkly all over.

Mahousu August 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

That is quite a skin tone Michele has going on there. Reminds me of rich Corinthian leather. I suppose that means she’ll be coming out on top in the Eugenics Wars, at least at the Minnesota League level.

Servo August 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

She has to win a staring contest against Mick Fleetwood first.

Mustang August 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

[re=388250]Formerly Preferred[/re]: They misspelled hair shirt too.

deutsch August 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

As an avowed agnostic, I “pray” every day that this hateful lunatic will stop disgracing my state and realize she is not hearing the voice of God, but a radio she left on an AM talk station, playing very softly. I also thank Theoretical God that I live in Keith Ellison’s district, so my rep is known for something other than batshit insanity.

glamourdammerung August 17, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Well, since the Christian Bible is pretty explicit about how women should not be in any position of authority above men, we all know her god’s “answer”.

MarieDeGournay August 17, 2009 at 1:58 pm

“She began her political career simply, as a Christian mom concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks”

What kind of tight-ass, overly offended, moron get’s ‘concerned’ about gradeschool newspapers? What? Was there editor de Sade? Ugh. I hate her.

Capitol Hillbilly August 17, 2009 at 1:58 pm

She began her career as a simple CMILF.

american mutt August 17, 2009 at 1:58 pm

I’m going to run and say my dog and Mexican gardener asked me to be president.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 17, 2009 at 1:59 pm

I feel sorry for the 23 kids she fostered. They must be all kinds of fucked up.

GreatOldOnesParty August 17, 2009 at 2:00 pm

[re=388256]Herman the German[/re]: If you liked that…
As always Wonkette, bringing it back for Bachmann

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/90049135-BachHeil?offset=10&content=Glitter-Graphics&owner=czn939

Aloysius August 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm

“If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve,” she concluded, “but if I am not called, I wouldn’t do it.”

If she switches realms, does that mean she has to switch guilds, too?

american mutt August 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=388291]glamourdammerung[/re]: I like how some modern, christian, women have to play a game of cognitive dissonance to ignore the fact that god thinks they’re inferior.

Rodney Badger August 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=388277]Gopherit[/re]: Bachmann/Guy at the Bus Stop 2012. There we go. . .

The Station Manager August 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Well, God does have a sense of humor. It’s a pretty dark sense of humor, and, on top of that, he totally fucking hates everybody, ever. So it makes sense that this insane, raving sack of beerfarts will be totally running our planet into the ground in four (4) years.

That said, with humans buying products like this we deserve whatever we get. “[H]alf of the population is dumber than average… Included in that are people who may have been flummoxed by existing towel technology.” –Bob Garfield

montresor August 17, 2009 at 2:02 pm

I just read the whole World Net Thingie article. I never expected to do anything like that, but thar she blows. Anyway, wow. I can see how people might believe this stuff, if they’re dumb enough, it’s so slickly presented. Never mind that it’s completely wacked out and wrong. If it appears in “print,” there’s someone who believes it has to be true. Like this one kid in my elentary school class who got a word wrong on a spelling test and insisted it was right because he saw it spelled that way in the newspaper. Dumb all over!

Spiderfrommars August 17, 2009 at 2:03 pm

I’m waiting for the mammo-a-mammo mudwrestling match to decide which comely conservative has God’s endorsement. (My money’s on Sarahbarracuda.) Best if it can be staged in the manner and on the set of a Vulcan fight to the death. Our combatants are costumed like Kirk’s hottest alien love interests, of course.

taylormattd August 17, 2009 at 2:03 pm

[re=388299]Aloysius[/re]: +1

Do you think she’s Alliance or Horde?

RoscoePColtraine August 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm

If repubs do anything and everything god orders them to do, I wish god would tell some certain young republican buck>/a> to go gay and give me a call. Some policies can be waived.

iolanthe August 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm

[re=388280]Min[/re]: Nice. I can think of so many other Bible verses I would like Bachmann and Palin to remember. Here are a couple more:

- Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor (that includes bullshit about Death Panels, girls)

- Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind (stir up the ‘tards, and eventually they’ll turn on *you*. The history of Christianity is rife with stories of Christian persecuting and killing other Christians.)

And all of Matthew 25:31-46, about all the people who think they’re such hot shit on-fire believers, whom God rejects for their cruelty, pride, and obliviousness to others’ suffering.

SnarkNotFark August 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Deepthroat August 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Maybe she’s dyslexic? Berkowitz has nothing on her.

bumfug August 17, 2009 at 2:07 pm

She must be wearing blue contacts – you can’t be that full of shit without having brown eyes.

Gorillionaire August 17, 2009 at 2:08 pm

When I worked at the emergency room, I regularly spoke to a young man who got frequent orders from God. Among these God orders were to tape a dollar bill to his forehead, to start WWIII and to “invent” punk rock. Honestly, he wasn’t that much different than Michelle. WHY ISN’T THIS WOMAN COMMITTED SOMEWHERE

RoscoePColtraine August 17, 2009 at 2:09 pm

[re=388307]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Sorry for fucking up the html on your thread, Jim.

One Yield Regular August 17, 2009 at 2:11 pm

I think “God” needs to start calling Congressperson Bachmann’s office to offer some advice about the realm to which she should aspire.

S.Luggo August 17, 2009 at 2:11 pm

“To Bachmann, light bulbs, the census and the dollar standard are issues simply because liberty is at stake.”
Definitely light bulbs.

Bearbloke August 17, 2009 at 2:12 pm

[re=388242]norbizness[/re]: Hasn’t the Pacific suffered enough because of ‘people’ like her?

AnnieGetYourFun August 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I will vote for her if she continues her career wearing sweatshirts with holes in them. Strategically-placed holes.

JooJoo Bee August 17, 2009 at 2:14 pm

God told her to put on that lipstick. Think about it.

Neoyorquino August 17, 2009 at 2:17 pm

I came.

RoscoePColtraine August 17, 2009 at 2:17 pm

“Realm” has such a sweet democratic ring to it, amirite?

S.Luggo August 17, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=388288]Servo[/re]: Win.

populucious August 17, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Every time God gets a little too wasted and starts making prank phone calls, we end up with one of these loonies in office. Seriously God, unplug the phone before you toke…that’s all we’re asking.

S.Luggo August 17, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=388291]glamourdammerung[/re]: This has not been lost on others:
http://forums.wnd.com/index.php?fa=FORUM.post&formAction=new&replyPostId=103971&pageId=518

Smoke Filled Roommate August 17, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=388326]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You must mean Glory of God Holes!

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm

So, God has been telling her to act batshit crazy for the last decade?

[re=388246]danceswithcougars[/re]: Don’t bother, they’re here.

S.Luggo August 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=388273]HoboNutz[/re]: Your eyes cannot see into outer space, that’s why.

rev_matt_y August 17, 2009 at 2:25 pm

[re=388267]as.the.world.burns[/re]: I’d hit it. With a shovel.

V572625694 August 17, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=388340]S.Luggo[/re]: That kind of exquisite crazee deserves to be brought here, despite the stench:

Reply to Born.Again.American:
I say, sorry, not this run Mam! The list of women serving a political post today is already to long! Yes, I agree some have done well and have had a positive impact. However; most have led us into emotional despair, not what is right, but how does it make me, or you feel. The demasculization of the United States and its MEN has to begin to stop. This country, if it survives the usurper into 2012 will need a strong male leader that the world can begin to respect and to fear again. Not since Ronald Regan have we had a leader such as that. In this time, we do not need Nancy’s, or Michele’s or Sarah’s for that matter. WE THE PEOPLE need the Mikes, the Newt’s, the Mit’s and the Ron’s to take back our country! Peace through strength, trust but verify! That must be the next stance of the next real President. Those words would carry no weight being spoken in a skirt. The world has now been forced to look at us as a sham and a mockery whose leader has gone soft, who apologizes all over the world, bows to tyrants, and wants to negotiate with terrorist. We have a secratery of state who only gets fired up when someone mistakenly says she maybe outsteped by her husband! The people need the return of Ba!!S to the nation, maybe not popular I know, but the truth hurts sometimes. Semper Fi or we loose the nation.

Monsieur Grumpe August 17, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Does anyone know if Palin and Bachmann have ever spoken to each other? The conversation between the two would be so incredibly mind numbingly vacant that those who dare to listen would have their brains reduce to pudding.

finallyhappy August 17, 2009 at 2:31 pm

[re=388293]MarieDeGournay[/re]: we have them right here in liberal Montgomery County, MD. Everything the red states have- we have- just in smaller numbers and no Republican elected officials to support them(but they bring in outsiders-FOTF and Liberty Counsel)

CorkPopper August 17, 2009 at 2:32 pm

[re=388278]Terry[/re]: Seriously, WTF? The only “character” related papers that come home in my kids’ backpacks have to do with being kind, respecting differences and not bullying. Now that I think of it, though, Michelle’s right…those messages are totally non-Biblical. I mean, those Israelites totally kicked non-Israelite ass, they didn’t get all tolerant and inclusive about it. That Jesus stuff about loving your enemies? Yeah, never mind.

Snarkalicious August 17, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=388330]Neoyorquino[/re]: Happiness?

c-sick August 17, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Just a regular concerned mom in jeans and a holey sweatshirt…who just happened to get her law degree from Oral Roberts University and an LLM in tax law from William and Mary. Just like all of our moms.

You Will Be Towed August 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm

“… but today she has become one of the leading defenders of liberty and conservative principles on Capitol Hill.”

Yes, if by that you mean the leading batshit-crazy whacked-out wingnut. She wouldn’t know a principle if it bit her in her surgically enhanced ass.

bebopluvr August 17, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=388284]Rodney Badger[/re]: Now that’s a scary fantasy on so many levels …

eleventybillionblogs August 17, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Well, I hate your hair.

slowuncle August 17, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=388286]iolanthe[/re]: Cat’s Bum!! My god there’s been a gaping hole (no pun intended) in my vocabulary until now–Thank you so much for putting a name to this phenom which is becoming ubiquitous among these rightwing former-MILFs. By the time Palin gets her shot at Reagan’s sacred throne she’ll be sporting a world-class cat’s bum: mark my words!

GreatOldOnesParty August 17, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=388352]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It’d be like that Pacino vs. DeNiro scene from Heat, but minus the coolness factor.

idiot son of an asshole August 17, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=388346]rev_matt_y[/re]: I’d hit it too, also. Although i’d prefer to use two 2x4s nailed together, sort of like a, i dunno, a cross?

The Station Manager August 17, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=388350]V572625694[/re]: Great googley moogley, such open and blatant sexism sure is refreshing! I’m sure he is a very very nice man, and that he doesn’t beat the fuck out of his wife every night for not being pregnant enough.

NotthatLC August 17, 2009 at 2:56 pm

[re=388247]Rodney Badger[/re]:
Don’t bother. They’re here.

sezme August 17, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Holey sweatshirt, Bachmann! To the bach-cave!

Bearbloke August 17, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=388385]The Station Manager[/re]:

“I’m sure he is a very very nice man, and that he doesn’t beat the fuck out of his wife hand every night for not being pregnant alluring enough to his penis.”

/fxd

vladster August 17, 2009 at 3:14 pm

The neck is a giveaway every time. I’d say by those rings she’s a hundred and five. Vain bitch.

ThomasAllen August 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Bachmann-Palin Overdrive, 2012! They could both wear wholeey sweatshirts.

Cape Clod August 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

What if God calls you to run for President and you fail because a majority of the people think you are a bat shit crazy idiot? I hear he does this thing called ‘smiting’ to people who piss him off. I don’t know what that involves but it sounds like he gets very Viking on you ass.

RobPetrified August 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Bachmann/ Palin for president in 2011!!!!
Ted Nugent for whatever Karl Rove was elected to do, and Dr. Phil for sewergen general!
THAT’LL be America the way America likes it, by God.
The majority will finally rool.

One Yield Regular August 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

“When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it.”

So if the Lord tells you to fly an airplane into a building, you’ll do it, right?

ella August 17, 2009 at 3:30 pm

“She began her political career simply, as a Christian mom concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks, but today she has become one of the leading defenders of liberty and conservative principles on Capitol Hill.”

The but should be and.

JooJoo Bee August 17, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[re=388280]Min[/re]: I had little business cards printed up with three quotations from the Sermon on the Mount. I place them discreetly on the tables of people in public places (restaurants, cafes, etc.) who make a big show out of saying grace, yakking about how saved they are, and other annoying Christian stuff. The first of the three quotations is “Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father which is in heaven.” That usually shuts ‘em up right there. The *I’m* “saved” — from having to crank my iPod up to Hearing Loss to drown out all that ree lidgin.

AnnieGetYourFun August 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Besides, everyone knows that God would tweet, or at least SMS, such a request. Who has time to make actual voicecalls anymore?

Tundra Grifter August 17, 2009 at 3:41 pm

A “holey” sweatshirt, indeed! I would say it was on its way to becoming a Relic…

kdaddy August 17, 2009 at 3:48 pm

When she runs for President, she’ll call forth the Zombie Undead, who will rise from their
crypts in the millions and cast their soulless chads for the new Queen of the Underworld. This
I believe.

Tundra Grifter August 17, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Actually, it was a Christmas-themed “holly” sweatshirt, with little red fuzzy berries…with lots of sequins and glitter and gold stuff…

Neoyorquino August 17, 2009 at 3:52 pm

[re=388361]Snarkalicious[/re]: No, not happiness. Just a full-body snark-gasm.

JooJoo Bee August 17, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Hey. I registered over there and spoke truth to idiocy a bit. Wonder if they’ll let it through. Ain’t holdin’ my breath. In case you were wondering, the “poll” is so far going 70% in favor of Bachmann being more kick-ass hot than can be discussed in polite society. There are only a few “dear jeebus, run for your life, and fast” votes. Hmm. We raised a million bucks for Ed Twinkletoes practically overnight. This poll thang should be a cinch for a late Monday afternoon, right? Ooh. I said “cinch.”

Que miras, cabron! August 17, 2009 at 4:17 pm

She lost my vote with those Sharpie eyebrows.

LittlePig August 17, 2009 at 4:20 pm

concerned about the content of school papers her children brought home in their backpacks

“What? They said Jesus DIDN’T ride a dinosaur?! And the Earth is BILLIONS of years old?!”

chascates August 17, 2009 at 4:23 pm

George Bush said God told him to invade Iraq. Please wait until God sends you something in writing.

phildeaux August 17, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Next thing you know she’ll be forming the Michele Bachmann Presidential Exploratory Committee for the 2010 election.

rocktonsammy August 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm

wonder if she shaves or if shes full Bush

as.the.world.burns August 17, 2009 at 5:16 pm

[re=388346]rev_matt_y[/re]: [re=388377]idiot son of an asshole[/re]: these are acceptable alternatives. please continue…

Justin Time August 17, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Bet she uses songs from Bachmann-Turn-Her-Over-And-Drive for her presidential campaign theme music. Butt I could be wrong in the end.

Morbo the Annihilator August 17, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Best. Alt Text. Ever.

the problem child August 17, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=388606]rocktonsammy[/re]: Based on the ‘stache she’s sporting, I’d guess “Daddy” likes furries.

Advocatus_Diaboli August 17, 2009 at 7:42 pm

It’s a good thing someone who believes in creationism is fighting for the right of local schools to pollute students’ minds.

SendLawyersGunsAndMoney August 17, 2009 at 8:57 pm

A one-year old crack-baby would make more sense and be a better congresswoman…and president. Someone smack her upside that snarky face with a 2×4, and I’ll urge Obama to push for a Kennedy Center tribute.

Joey Ratz August 17, 2009 at 8:59 pm

[re=388350]V572625694[/re]: Damn, that’s some high-grade assholery. However, the first thing I noticed was the eye-bleedingly awful grammar; something traumatic has clearly happened to that part of his brain where his Apostrophe Inhibitor is located.

tiger August 17, 2009 at 10:17 pm

Fuck she’s ugly and stupid.

ladymacbeth August 17, 2009 at 11:22 pm

i believe the dementors had an actual function, no?

catdance August 17, 2009 at 11:48 pm

[re=388250]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Nah, she isn’t a Mormon. They’re the only ones with holy shirts.

catdance August 17, 2009 at 11:55 pm

[re=388344]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
“Don’t bother they’re here”

=Win

MilwaukeeKent August 18, 2009 at 1:03 am

Holey sweatshirt, Batshit Crazy! You’re hearing voices!

Real world to Bachmann: “You can talk to yourself, you can answer yourself, but when you start taking conference calls…”

Double down GOP, her and Sarah, dream ticket…

archaeo-angel August 18, 2009 at 3:24 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LoweredPeninsula August 18, 2009 at 6:24 am

“Realm”? Are you fucking kidding me? Why doesn’t she just ask us to call her ‘Fuhrer Bachmann’ and call it a day, already? Shiiiit.

Keram2 August 18, 2009 at 8:53 am

[re=388466]ella[/re]: GRAMMAR FTW! Seriously, good catch.

iolanthe August 18, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=388350]V572625694[/re]: Isn’t it interesting how the exquisitely sexist American crazy sounds *just like* a Muslim Extremist crazy! I can’t figure out why these two groups of people hate each other. They have so very very much in common, except they pronounce their Big Mean Asshole God’s name differently.

Dolmance September 5, 2009 at 11:22 pm

That cunt.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: