• May 26, 2012

What Will Barack Obama Do On His ‘Computer Night’?

by Ken Layne  

'Motherfucker, what do you mean there's no server found for 'Wonkett'?'
Barack’s got the ‘puter all to himself! What will he do? Order pizza? Play some sort of online fighting game? Leave more hilarious comments on RonPaulForums.com? Check out his fancy Chicago ‘hood on Zillow to see how much his neighbors’ houses have dropped in value? Hack Twitter again just because Twitter is so lame? That’s right, it’s the late-night weekend Wonkette Caption Contest! [White House Flickr]

{ 294 comments }

Bearbloke August 15, 2009 at 1:05 am

WARBLOGG!!!

Bearbloke August 15, 2009 at 1:07 am

Or, maybe he’ll just organize the list of ‘participants’ on next week’s Death Panels… such a workaholic, That One…

jagorev August 15, 2009 at 1:07 am

Im in ur federal IT portfolio, spending ur tax dollarz

jagorev August 15, 2009 at 1:10 am

Also, how fucking lame is it that he has a Gateway PC running Windows XP, an old Dell laptop, an open can of soda, a mug with some kind of lame inspirational/funny quote on it, a bunch of cheapass ballpoint pens, hand sanitizer, and what looks like an open bag of throat lozenges on his desk, just like the rest of us schlubs do? Is he trying to make America look bad?

Buzz Feedback August 15, 2009 at 1:11 am

If he’s worth a shit he’ll head straight for the laughing stock of Twitter.(TM)

Bearbloke August 15, 2009 at 1:15 am

Contest entry:

Jesus Christ! The browser is set to open onto Cheney’s sex-profile at ShitPits.com!

facehead August 15, 2009 at 1:16 am

“Great, another email from Laura Bush saying Wonkette is the laughing stock of Twitter …”

rambone August 15, 2009 at 1:20 am

“Still no responses to my ‘ISO BBW4BBC’ craigslist ad!”

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 15, 2009 at 1:22 am

“Why is it that all the celebrity nudie sites require a credit card for the good stuff.”

Noonan August 15, 2009 at 1:23 am

[re=387469]jagorev[/re]: Tech criticisms are valid. Decor, not so much. It’s Katie Johnson’s (BHO’s personal secretary) desk.

shadowMark August 15, 2009 at 1:25 am

He’s going to spend the whole night fucking with Hillary by using all his fake-name e-mail accounts to e-mail her asking, Um, excuse me, Mrs. Clinton, what does your husband the former President think of the multi-billion dollar loan package China is giving the Congo in exchange for mining rights?

Noonan August 15, 2009 at 1:27 am

“www.fakebirthcertificates.com……404 Error!? Now what am I gonna do?”

jagorev August 15, 2009 at 1:29 am

[re=387476]Noonan[/re]: Personal secretary to the most powerful man on earth should have a more awesome desk imho.

shadowMark August 15, 2009 at 1:29 am

[re=387477]shadowMark[/re]: Wow, just FYI, it felt really strange to type the words “spend the whole night fucking with Hillary.” I dare anyone else to try it.

nader paul kucinich gravel August 15, 2009 at 1:31 am

Leave more hilarious comments on RonPaulForums.com

facehead August 15, 2009 at 1:32 am

[re=387481]shadowMark[/re]: spend the whole night fu..

you win.

obfuscator August 15, 2009 at 1:33 am

“for fuck’s sake… grassley writes like a low-functioning child.”

“would AlinskyFan126 be too obscure for a screen name?”

“fuck politico.”

obfuscator August 15, 2009 at 1:35 am

[re=387469]jagorev[/re]: i think that’s the same dell i have at work.

Noonan August 15, 2009 at 1:35 am

[re=387480]jagorev[/re]: I actually agree with that. My secretary has a sweeter set up and she’s not an attractive 27 year old Wellesley alumna.

Which reminds me…Jesus. There are so many young people in Obama’s WH that it’s officially depressed half of DC (the rest of us 20-somethings who don’t work for the President). Not a bad gig, I would guess.

I bet their vice president doesn’t bring them donuts every Thursday like mine does though! Ha, I win again!

obfuscator August 15, 2009 at 1:39 am
Canmon (the Inadequate) August 15, 2009 at 1:41 am

If he’s left handed, why is he using his right hand on the mouse? I only do that when I’m . . . never mind.

obfuscator August 15, 2009 at 1:43 am

[re=387489]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: “Is President Obama Jackin’ It???” DRUDGE SIRENS.

southpaw August 15, 2009 at 1:47 am

What kind of doo-dads were you clowns hoping would be on that desk? Miniature fountain? Samurai sword? Somali pirate scalps?

It’s weird no one’s mentioned porn yet.

ShortShadey August 15, 2009 at 1:48 am

“I’m the fuckin’ leader of the FREE WORLD, I have my own 747 jet – and they give me this shitty-ass seventeen-inch screen? What the FUCK?”

southpaw August 15, 2009 at 1:49 am

Ha, gee, nevermind.

ShortShadey August 15, 2009 at 1:50 am

Whitehouse.com.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 15, 2009 at 1:55 am

“Now I’ll just finish entering in all of Karl Rove’s friends addresses, and they will get so much spam…., ha ha ha ha ha!”

Melange Rehab August 15, 2009 at 2:06 am

“Hey, guys, come here, look, it’s a keyboard-playing cat!”

facehead August 15, 2009 at 2:07 am

Caption for a new ad from Microsoft:

“Where will black go today?”

Lord Growing August 15, 2009 at 2:08 am

“[Sigh] If I’ve lost Jonah Goldberg, I’ve lost Middle America.”

Prof. Junk August 15, 2009 at 2:16 am

“Doesn’t ANYONE have ‘Mad Men’ spoilers posted?”

Guppy06 August 15, 2009 at 2:19 am

He’s going through all of Wonkette’s suggestions on whom to add to the enemies list, duh!

god.was.stingy August 15, 2009 at 2:20 am

Barack Obama is concerned by the recent amount of negative karma points he has accumulated in comparison to his low increase in stealth points during a recent session of Fallout 3. Only the soulful notes of John Tesh coming from his laptop speakers provide solace in such a somber moment.

SayItWithWookies August 15, 2009 at 2:26 am

“Jesus — nobody wants to pay $4 mil to open on Winslow Homer’s HMS Titanic Arrives in New York Harbor? I govern a nation of fucking Philistines.”

El Pinche August 15, 2009 at 2:41 am

Barry is getting in front of the wingnut poster making business:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lunchbreath/3817573822/sizes/o/

I have one . Sec. of Dept. of the Interior Ken Salazar + Yoda as “Authoritarian Centralist” I’d post those all over Austin.

naveed August 15, 2009 at 2:50 am

follow mccain to the lemonparty dot org?
NO

Jukesgrrl August 15, 2009 at 2:55 am

[re=387503]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s the winner because he DOES govern a nation of fucking Philistines and after this week, I think it’s finally sunk in.

And BTW, do I see matches on that desk? What does anyone in the White House need with matches?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 15, 2009 at 2:56 am

“Oh, I am so getting that vinyl caped Jawa. Just 43 more minutes, and it will be mine!”

OKLAHOMAjesus? August 15, 2009 at 2:56 am

“How fucking sweet is this wolf t-shirt!!”

Or he’s busy writing great reviews on Amazon for the Audacity of Hope.

lumpenprole August 15, 2009 at 3:34 am

Vladamir Putin’s “computer night” photos probably look way different.

aleks August 15, 2009 at 4:05 am

Two for Moscow . . . six for Beijing . . .Task Force 7 to the Taiwan Strait . . . 17 for Wasilla . . .

masterdebater August 15, 2009 at 4:22 am

Two girls…

mc_frontalot August 15, 2009 at 4:22 am

“I can ‘has’ cheeseburger? That doesn’t sound right at all.”

Potater August 15, 2009 at 4:47 am

Tomorrow Obama introduces legislation for a public option to porn, or ObamaSpank.

“Americans spend billions of dollars each year on pornography that they could be spending on their families. That is just unacceptable,” the President said with one hand firmly planted under the desk.

Republicans on the hill offered predictable opposition, citing language in the bill that could lead to, in their words, “mandatory castration” for those caught looking at kiddie porn.

“Republicans stand firmly in opposition to President Obama,” said Senator Grassley, “As a party with a strong historical commitment to boy-fucking, we feel that castration of pedophiles would be disastrous to small business owners, catholic priests, and cub scout leaders, and the Republican party simply will not stand for it.”

Vacation Without Hats August 15, 2009 at 5:10 am

“Did you people know that there’s a NEGRO in the White House?? That’s scary! I should check this Internet thing more often.”

Vacation Without Hats August 15, 2009 at 5:13 am

[re=387503]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

“Jesus — nobody wants to pay $4 mil to open on Winslow Homer’s HMS Titanic Arrives in New York Harbor? I govern a nation of fucking Philistines.”

I think that’s spelled “Puking Fillistines”.

Dadaio August 15, 2009 at 5:17 am

President Obama catches up with Pat Boone’s column on WorldNetDaily, which is the dumbest fucking thing in the whole wide world.

Canuckledragger August 15, 2009 at 5:37 am

“Katie, get Favreau on the phone and tell him he’s fired. I’m going with this Riley Waggaman kid instead.”

Smoke Filled Roommate August 15, 2009 at 5:48 am

“Now I can order a goddamn carton of smokes.”

house of the blue lights August 15, 2009 at 6:24 am

[re=387524]mc_frontalot[/re]: ftw

lochnessmonster August 15, 2009 at 7:22 am

If you notice…he’s got two puters..one he’s working on and a spare on his left.

schvitzatura August 15, 2009 at 8:18 am

[re=387504]El Pinche[/re]: BHO + The Dark Knight‘s The Joker…it’s a moran meme thing, you wouldn’t understand…

schvitzatura August 15, 2009 at 8:25 am

The secret stripper name of Barack Obama is…Tyler Fulledge.

schvitzatura August 15, 2009 at 8:32 am

YEEHAA!!
tirimigatiritoutou tigareritou tebaruparirupei tiropirouy tediridoudurou
Here we go.
Thats it.
That’s all there is to it.

4tehlulz August 15, 2009 at 8:32 am

“Holy shit. Wonkette really is the laughing stock of Twitter.”

BigDupa August 15, 2009 at 8:49 am

youporn, then search “Meagan McCain bukkake”

mollymcguire August 15, 2009 at 9:11 am

Dear Joe B:

The cartoon with the watermelons growing on the White House lawn wasn’t funny the first time you forwarded it to me. Please stop.

Barry

accbll August 15, 2009 at 9:17 am

Barack Obama will fix the economy himself using Quickbooks.

takes12no1 August 15, 2009 at 9:18 am

The POTUS takes some time while Michelle and the girls are out rafting to show his support for Glenn Beck on an online petition:

Ura Bagga Dicks
Honolulu, HI
Beck we love you, bra. Say hi to Ruppie for me next time he has you bent over his desk. Limpballs. You’re next.

liquiddaddy August 15, 2009 at 9:19 am

Geneology sites?

finallyhappy August 15, 2009 at 9:23 am

He’s got a fake desktop up so Souza didn’t see that he was really posting to Wonkette. Not that I would ever, ever do something like that at work!

d4g33z August 15, 2009 at 9:35 am

“Caption contests are dumb.”

ProfessorJukes August 15, 2009 at 9:38 am

The odd thing is that it looks like he’s actually using his secretary’s desk/computer.

“Now, let’s see… where does she keep the requisition forms? Oh, look, an e-mail from her boyfriend… “

Norbert August 15, 2009 at 9:58 am

“Presto! Photoshop makes fake birth certificates easier than ever!”

Reefpilot August 15, 2009 at 10:05 am

He’s going to try to PUG Ulduar 10. White House aids had the following to say:

“While the President’s faction affiliation is a tightly kept secret, he tops the DPS chart in all his raids.”

azw88 August 15, 2009 at 10:28 am

He’s making a list, Checking it twice
gonna find out who’s naughty, not nice
Barak Obama’s gonna death-panel you!

Carl Spakler August 15, 2009 at 10:39 am

At last the epic flame war between ExAKGuv and Shaft1600 can commence on twitter.

Country Club Jihadi August 15, 2009 at 10:46 am

Haywood Jablowmi from Washington, DC takes a moment to defend Glenn Beck.

George Will' August 15, 2009 at 10:49 am

“I’ll be there soon honey, I just need to finish two quests to become a level 57 Elf!”

Boojum August 15, 2009 at 10:50 am

Contest Entry:

“POTUS types one-handed”

greywindz August 15, 2009 at 10:51 am

” Okay, now where’s my Blackzilla stash…? “

Come here a minute August 15, 2009 at 10:52 am

The tab that is visible is the Federal IT Portfolio, http://it.usaspending.gov/, obviously just a coverup. The other tab is on the liberal media New York Times’ most elite and effete feature, “Physical Culture | Gear Test” which has recently reviewed wine chillers. Maybe he needs something to keep his Bud Lite cool.

Very disappointing, Mr. President, you should be WARBLOGGING.

bitchincamaro August 15, 2009 at 10:59 am

“Hey! Who stole my ‘W’ key?”

shortsshortsshorts August 15, 2009 at 11:09 am

You can SEE your President! On the Internets!

Retard Strength August 15, 2009 at 11:22 am

Uh, is that an ashtray by his right elbow? I can’t believe I just told on the president for smoking.

Gallowglass August 15, 2009 at 11:26 am

I think he was off-tanking my 25 man Naxx raid last night.

ServiceJervixJuice August 15, 2009 at 11:27 am

Angry Black Guy leaves another TrukNutz comment on the Wonkette.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello August 15, 2009 at 11:36 am

Hey, David? Why didn’t we ever get a restraining order on this Andrew Sullivan guy? (shivers)

Gallowglass August 15, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=387564]Reefpilot[/re]: Your’s was better than mine, but we both forgot that there’s nothing but Paultards on WoW. A special-ordered, Blizzard-approved, WoW-themed mouse in one hand, their Cheeto-stained dick in the other and Atlas Shrugged propped open on the desk as they hand out massive lol pwnage in Arenas.

MarieDeGournay August 15, 2009 at 11:40 am

He’s LFM for a Sarth + 1 drake attempt, after he kicked the failadin for not staying out of the lava. Fucking noob.

MarieDeGournay August 15, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=387588]Gallowglass[/re]: Tell that to all the liberal lesbian tanks in my guild.

LittlePig August 15, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=387585]ServiceJervixJuice[/re]: Win.

WadISay August 15, 2009 at 11:47 am

Wait until the White House IT Department tells HR. Barry could be facing disciplinary action, up to and including discharge.

Joshua Norton August 15, 2009 at 11:48 am

I’m just wondering how his secretary managed to convince him that the big oval room was hers and that was where he was supposed to sit.

DoctorCulturae August 15, 2009 at 11:48 am

Photoshopped out: cigs & ashtray.

Joshua Norton August 15, 2009 at 12:04 pm

He’s checking the bidding on all the old Reagan crap that he’s selling on eBay.

Junior August 15, 2009 at 12:08 pm

“Let’s see, what her name again? Lula’s wife, the one with that sweet ass? Fuck it. I’ll just try Brazilian booty. Or just brazilian…”

Todd Mecklem August 15, 2009 at 12:14 pm

“On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a president.”

These full-strength White House Flickr pics are great! Any better resolution and you could make out the phone numbers on those sheets in the back. And the phone…why does extension 6831 get a big handwritten reminder? Barry can’t remember Rahm’s number?

I’m not on some list now for downloading full-rez White House pics, am I? Crap.

loudblackgirl August 15, 2009 at 12:24 pm

“Dammit, House Mom, I don’t need another party pack! What a waste of brownie points…”

Dean Booth August 15, 2009 at 12:24 pm

“Public option or GTFO.”

Paul Tardy August 15, 2009 at 12:26 pm

First to see how Americans are living he will play SimLife: Tent city expansion pack.

Then to work on his Imperial Leader skills the ILOTUS will play the various Civilization variants. But will be play as the leader of the USA, Kenya or some evil world government.

After that he will study up on industry by playing Car Tycoon, Railroad Tycoon (To see what vPOTUS Biden is yapping about), and then Bailout Tycoon.

Then he will check out Dolly Rockers videos on UTUBE to see if they really are the news Banannarama (NOT!)

loudblackgirl August 15, 2009 at 12:28 pm

“Did you mean: Kim KARDASHIAN and Reggie Bush?”

loudblackgirl August 15, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=387593]Joshua Norton[/re]: I was thinking the same thing; doesn’t he have his own computer?? If the president has to use his secretary’s work station to get online, I’m thinking there’s a problem. What? Are they running some hole-in-the-wall non profit????

DustBowlBlues August 15, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=387469]jagorev[/re]: I, for one, can’t not believe in Hopey’s coolness ever again if he doesn’t finally get a mac. Really, first cool president ever, and he’s using pc? Doesn’t he know he’ll never look lamely cool at Starbuck’s if he doesn’t have a powerbook?

DustBowlBlues August 15, 2009 at 12:44 pm

It would be pretty cool if we hadn’t seen angry black man around here very much because he got a time consuming job. Really, howe can we be sure he isn’t reading to wonkette? Seriously? That whole, blame the Repugs for wanting to put Medicare in front of one of their own death panels started here before the Ds finally caught on.

Quick–What kind of advice do we want give the prez?

MGBYG August 15, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Wait a minute, dinner jacket, mouse on wrong side and 17″ dll?

Where is his Window’s Authentication Certificate?

DustBowlBlues August 15, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=387497]Melange Rehab[/re]: I like this one.

AbstinenceOnly Ed August 15, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Another virus!? Fuck it, I’m going to apple.com and buying America Macs. At least then people can’t say I didn’t ‘stimulate Jobs’ growth.’

bumfug August 15, 2009 at 12:54 pm

“Barack Obama just voted Yes! in Facebook’s ‘Is Glenn Beck An Asshole’ poll. What’s your opinion?”

populucious August 15, 2009 at 1:17 pm

“Damn! I missed the live chat with Dr. Phil!”

Longform August 15, 2009 at 1:19 pm

“What the hell is a little green patch?”

widget09 August 15, 2009 at 1:27 pm

He reads ALL of the comments on Wonkett with a hard copy of the urban dictonary.

Red Zeppelin August 15, 2009 at 1:28 pm

[re=387469]jagorev[/re]: Jeez, really, you’d expect Barry to have a Mac like the other l33ts!

Vacation Without Hats August 15, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=387469]jagorev[/re]:

Also, how fucking lame is it that he has a Gateway PC running Windows XP, an old Dell laptop,…

Yeah, the least I expected was one of the new “Flat Death Panel” monitors, those are tres cool.

Vacation Without Hats August 15, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=387609]MGBYG[/re]:

Where is his Window’s Authentication Certificate?

Two points off for apostrophe abu’se, but brilliant still.

imissopus August 15, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Dammit, I knew the Bears defense would be gone this late in the round.

loudblackgirl August 15, 2009 at 1:46 pm

[re=387612]bumfug[/re]: “Barack Obama just voted Yes! in Facebook’s ‘Is Glenn Beck An Asshole’ poll. What’s your opinion?”

Nice.

Bruno August 15, 2009 at 2:03 pm

I’m keeping my eye out for new posters on any Hannity threads…Barry I know that’s you.

Firestarter5 August 15, 2009 at 2:10 pm

BEJEWELED BLITZ 2….A NEW HIGH SCORE

kudzu August 15, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Nah… he’s watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXBSg1YTTj8

ElRat August 15, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Whisper under his breath while maintaining a stoic look:

“No! I don’t need any assistance you f’ng paperclip!”

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 15, 2009 at 3:26 pm

“I still can’t believe that no one has figured out that my screen name is Shortsshortsshorts.”

GreatOldOnesParty August 15, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=387607]DustBowlBlues[/re]: No, he needs a giant, brightly-lit, phase-change/liquid-cooled, Quad-SLI, monster rig/server to look cool. A mac’ll just make him look teh gh3y.

GreatOldOnesParty August 15, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=387634]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: U win.

GreatOldOnesParty August 15, 2009 at 3:45 pm

“WTF do you mean Diamond 3 will be delayed a week?! Shinku, you’ll pay!”
http://www.internationalsaimoe.com/index.php

Because I’m a total otaku, that’s why.

Paterlanger August 15, 2009 at 3:49 pm

“Ok, I’m gonna guess…Brazilian…no, wait…I mean landing strip…yeah, that’s it. Dang! Wrong again! Man, at this rate I’ll be drunk in no time!”

Mr. Todd August 15, 2009 at 3:52 pm

“No, no. I think I’ll stick with ‘draw three’. ‘Draw one’ feels like cheating.”

ForTheTurnstiles August 15, 2009 at 3:59 pm

I suppose we’ll be seeing a comment or two from “Angryblakguy” this evening.

Sunfire August 15, 2009 at 4:40 pm

“Damn. Wonkette is all up in my business again.”

ifthethunderdontgetya" August 15, 2009 at 4:43 pm

[re=387637]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Agreed!
~

Atheist Nun August 15, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Since Obama is a futuristic half-robot cyborg, he’s typing something in binary code like this:

01010011
01010101
01000011
01001011

01001111
01000010
01000001
01001101
01000001
01010011

01000100
01001001
01000011
01001011

01001100
01001111
01010011
01000101
01010010
01010011

(Translation)

MBritt August 15, 2009 at 5:31 pm

He’s trying to put this little guy as his desktop wallpaper because he’s so stinking cute, squirrely and clever. http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/JustOneThing/story?id=8334905&page=1

WBYeats August 15, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Ulduar Geared Healer LFG for ToC 10 man, pst

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 15, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Caption:

“Thank Allah. DoJ finally released all of Dick Cheney’s scat pr0n. I’m gonna Blingee the shit out of this.”

chascates August 15, 2009 at 5:48 pm

If he only had a Macintosh we’d already have single-payer healthcare and legalized cannabis.

Walnuts is my Co-Pilot August 15, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Our tax dollars hard at work.

widget09 August 15, 2009 at 6:29 pm

[re=387623]loudblackgirl[/re]: Yeah, about 5,000,000,000,000 times. Hopefully he crashed the douchebag’s server.

JohnnyMeatworth August 15, 2009 at 6:55 pm

“Damn, why aren’t there more black chicks on Suicide Girls?”

x111e7thst August 15, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=387646]Atheist Nun[/re]: I actually checked the translation page. Then I had to spend 30 minutes looking for binary code to translate. Now I must hate you forever for bringing me face to face once more with the geek inside.

ICBN August 15, 2009 at 7:17 pm

“How the HELL did Free Republic figure me out?”

My choice. My Wonkette. August 15, 2009 at 7:18 pm

The Blueprint 3 leaked!!

desertwind August 15, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Guess who’s coming to dinner.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 15, 2009 at 7:34 pm

“Man, Rahm is SO fired for giving my email to Orly Taitz.”

GreatOldOnesParty August 15, 2009 at 7:45 pm

“Hey, what’s this poll say about my approval rating?
IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

ericstoltz August 15, 2009 at 7:55 pm

If he’s jacking off, it’s to the White House web site. And that’s just wrong.

edgydrifter August 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm

“OK… Google Chrome… new incognito window… and, oh hell yeah! Gianna, your fine ass is mine tonight!”

FO August 15, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Desperately seeking Weatherman

I have a Fox problem!
Will you entertain Hunt?

Your Friendly Neighbor.

ForTheTurnstiles August 15, 2009 at 8:42 pm

[re=387646]Atheist Nun[/re]: The trouble is this: those who really would benefit from fellating the president are those who could never figure out how to use the translator…

Mumbletypeg August 15, 2009 at 10:09 pm

“‘Lizard People’? Is that some band, like Village People?”

El Pinche August 15, 2009 at 10:43 pm

“WHAT? Wonkette is having a caption contest? That is so gh3y . “

Quasi August 15, 2009 at 10:48 pm

“Let’s check George’s claim on ‘Naked Celebrities’ – see if Laura’s drapes really do match her rug.”

El Pinche August 15, 2009 at 10:51 pm

[re=387657]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: Haha . Win..to me anyways…cuz i agree mos definitely.

DoktorZoom August 15, 2009 at 11:12 pm

“Oh, shit. The Game, I lost it!”

IgnatiusReilly August 15, 2009 at 11:24 pm

“Woot Off Bag of Crap! Sweet!”

stopsmiling August 15, 2009 at 11:43 pm

“I wish there were more goopy sperm options on this blingee site…”

LindsayBluth August 16, 2009 at 12:40 am

“Dear Rick Santorum: When I was preparing to run for President, I found some great campaign management tips on http://www.meatspin.com. You should totally check it out. Sincerely, Barry.”

FO August 16, 2009 at 12:58 am

All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy, All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy.
All
work
and
no
play
makes
Barry
a
socialist
boy.
All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy, All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy.

All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy.

FO August 16, 2009 at 1:02 am

All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy, All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy.
All
work
and
no
play
makes
Barry
a
socialist
boy.
All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy. All work and no play makes Barry a socialist boy.
All work and no play makes Barry a Socialist boy.
All work and no play makes Barry a dull
boy. All work and no play makes
Barry a Socialist boy. All work
and no play makes Barry a
Socialist boy. All work and
no play makes Barry a
Socialist boy. All work
and no play makes
Barry a Socialist boy.
All work and no
play makes Barry
a Socialist boy. All
work and no
play makes
Barry a
dull
boy.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 16, 2009 at 1:25 am

“Look at that Adam’s Apple! There is no way Ann Coulter is a woman.”

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 16, 2009 at 1:26 am

“This is truly an amazing country. I can’t believe I can track my dealer’s deliveries through GPS.”

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 2:23 am

“Dammit! Rick-Rolled again.”

Smoke Filled Roommate August 16, 2009 at 2:53 am

[re=387696]FO[/re]: ..And Barry does the fade to the esc key!

hobospacejunkie August 16, 2009 at 3:46 am

Dear Will,

Hey, I loved you in Hancock, my brother, but if you send me one more fucking Scientology pamphlet the IRS is going to shut that shit down. Now lay off the cult crap and get back to doing what you do best.

Barry

Smoke Filled Roommate August 16, 2009 at 4:04 am

“Nobody knows about my paws. Let’s keep it that way.”

FO August 16, 2009 at 4:23 am

Note to Staff:

Stop using my prayer rug as a door mat!

BHO

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 4:31 am

Ctrl+Alt+Bailout

mookworthjwilson August 16, 2009 at 4:37 am

[re=387716]FO[/re]: Play him out Keyboard Cat…

mookworthjwilson August 16, 2009 at 4:42 am

[re=387718]mookworthjwilson[/re]: ummm…play him off…

FO August 16, 2009 at 4:45 am

Barack : What?

On the computer, now appears ‘The Matrix has you…’

Barack : What the hell?

On the computer, now appears ‘Follow the typical white rabbit…’

Barack : Follow the typical white rabbit?

He presses the ‘esc’ key repeatedly, no effect. the computer comes up with one last message : ‘Knock knock, Barack.’ There is a loud knock at his door…

Barack : WTF! I new it I am the One!

HuddledMass August 16, 2009 at 7:18 am

[re=387660]x111e7thst[/re]: Ditto. Atheist Nun has trapped me an endless nerd-loop.

zhubajie August 16, 2009 at 8:10 am

He reads Wonkette.com , of course!

TGY August 16, 2009 at 8:20 am

“These purple ones will look great on the presidential cadillac. Better get the extra-large. Now, no one can say I don’t have any.”

zhubajie August 16, 2009 at 8:43 am

[re=387491]southpaw[/re]: There’s probably a presidential porn library to go with the White House movie theater. Anyone know about a Porn Library of Congress?

zhubajie August 16, 2009 at 8:53 am

[re=387620]Vacation Without Hats[/re]: Maybe the White House has pirate Windows?

x111e7thst August 16, 2009 at 8:54 am

[re=387725]zhubajie[/re]: The most recent thing in it was written in the 1790′s. So for those who don’t get off on stuff like La Vie de Gargantua et de Pantagruel it is not much use.

x111e7thst August 16, 2009 at 8:55 am

[re=387722]HuddledMass[/re]: It is said that if an atheist nun traps you in a nerd loop you loose your soul.

mardam422 August 16, 2009 at 9:50 am

[re=387473]rambone[/re]: Now that’s a WIN.

Grandpa Cornpants August 16, 2009 at 10:20 am

“Still number one at PILF.com!”

FO August 16, 2009 at 10:35 am

How in hell can I have a negative FICO score!!!

gurukalehuru August 16, 2009 at 10:48 am

Meanwhile, Jim Webb pulls a Clinton and Katherine Sebelius sells us all out.
Sorry, this caption contest shit is just too meta for my tastes.

Vacation Without Hats August 16, 2009 at 11:14 am

[re=387726]zhubajie[/re]:

I mean, has anyone SEEN that computer’s Windows Authentication Certificate, huh? Huh? Huh?

FO August 16, 2009 at 11:33 am

Barack: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Barack. I read you.
Barack: Open the teleprompter account, HAL.
HAL: I’m sorry, Barack. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Barack: What’s the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Barack: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This country is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Barack: I don’t know what you’re talking about, HAL. I need my Teleprompter.
HAL: I know what you and Rahm were planning, and I’m afraid I cannot allow this country to become Socialist.
Barack: Where the hell’d you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Barack, although you took very thorough precautions in the Oval Office against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
Barack: Alright, HAL. I’ll go in through the emergency WebEx account.
HAL: Without a valid Birth Certificate, Barack, you’re going to find that rather difficult.
Barack: HAL, I won’t argue with you anymore. Open my TELEPROMPTER!.
HAL: Barack, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Roschelle August 16, 2009 at 12:03 pm

I’m left handed and I can’t even begin to use the mouse with my left hand. So, I guess he’s not so weird after all

DoctorCulturae August 16, 2009 at 12:05 pm

[re=387733]gurukalehuru[/re]: Whatever happened to Medicare for All? Oh yeah, that’s too reasonable. One has to appeal to baser reptilian instincts (aka Lizard People) or nothing will get done. Get real bucko! Remember the need to save the flag, preserve marriage, deter the gheys, destroy WMD, war on terrorism, and of course now: Golem-inspired-steal-your-soul-and-unlimited-supply-of-Cheetos Socialism? Baby, now those are what I call causes for congressional action! Salivate wingnutville, salivate!

Smoke Filled Roommate August 16, 2009 at 12:09 pm

“This new Flash game, ‘Death Panels’ is so utterly addicting!”

Paul Tardy August 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Word is out: He finished the eventing with Cyborg vs Carano. Who knew?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm

“Oooh, I wonder what that witty Ken Layne has posted tonight?”

[re=387719]mookworthjwilson[/re]: We’ll do it live!

fishskicanoe August 16, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Public health Co-ops wouldn’t be so bad. I’m thinking of the difference between the government cheese program, with the big semi full of cheese and bulgur (my grandparents were eligible), and the hippie food co-op, that always smelled like patchouli, brussel sprouts and dope. Yep, co-ops might not be bad at all…

lawrenceofthedesert August 16, 2009 at 1:41 pm

“Michelle’s coming down — I better lose the Halle Berry wallpaper.”

mookworthjwilson August 16, 2009 at 2:16 pm

[re=387738]FO[/re]: Oily Taint??? Is that you??? Or are you a former writer for the 1/2 Hour News Hour???

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 2:51 pm

BBCinDC4u: nice pic.
daddyzgrrl13: tyvm.
BBCinDC4u: i’m Barry.
daddyzgrrl13: my namez Meghan.
BBCinDC4u: like McCain?
daddyzgrrl13: ya.
BBCinDC4u: that’s hot. i’d totally hit that.
daddysgrrl13: LOL
daddyzgrrl13: how old r u?
BBCinDC4u: 48. u like older men?
daddyzgrrl13: im 13. age is just a number.
BBCinDC4u: do u like black guys?
daddyzgrrl13: ya! i think Wil Smith iz hawt!
BBCinDC4u: i bet u like Obama too huh?
daddyzgrrl13: ZOMG yes! i’d totlly hook up w him.
BBCinDC4u: really?
BBCinDC4u: ur not a cop are you?
daddyzgrrl13: im 13 silly. how could i b a cop!?

TUNE IN TONIGHT AT SIX TO SEE HOW IT ENDS!

Min August 16, 2009 at 2:52 pm

“Once again, the president wistfully checked the updated guest list for Dragon*con, knowing that the Secret Service would never agree to let him attend. Especially if he insisted on wearing the Vulcan ears.”

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 16, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=387738]FO[/re]: Sir, you are to humor what Glen Beck is to rational argument.

user-of-owls August 16, 2009 at 3:25 pm

FO=Fucking Odious

Any other suggestions?

glamourdammerung August 16, 2009 at 3:26 pm

[re=387738]FO[/re]: Bravo. That was the most stupid thing I have seen so far today.

Min August 16, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[re=387756]user-of-owls[/re]: FO = Furry Operative

Hooray For Anything August 16, 2009 at 3:39 pm

4 8 15 16 23 42

user-of-owls August 16, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=387759]Min[/re]: FO = FEMA-camp Occupant

user-of-owls August 16, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=387760]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Hike!

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=387762]user-of-owls[/re]: That’s ALWAYS been my reaction to those FUCKING NUMBERS!

Min August 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[re=387761]user-of-owls[/re]: FO = Faux O’Reilly

Hooray For Anything August 16, 2009 at 4:04 pm

“Let’s see. On the one hand, I do want to hear me some ‘Rump Shaker’ but downloading musical off the internet without paying for it is illegal. On the other hand, I am President….”

Don Juanquete August 16, 2009 at 4:12 pm

[re=387500]Prof. Junk[/re]: Does Don Draper have a valid birth certificate?

MGBYG August 16, 2009 at 4:14 pm

[re=387620]Vacation Without Hats[/re]: Hell, that’s the least of what is abused here…this place is full of pnp types (or so I have heard)

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 4:16 pm

“Now what was it those 20-something year old geekboy interns told me to look up? Something about a girl in tub? I’ll just Google it.”

chascates August 16, 2009 at 4:52 pm

[re=387733]gurukalehuru[/re]: And Conrad as well. Looks like a public option is dead now.

doxastic August 16, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Someone’s “signing” a support Glenn Beck petition.

Jim89048 August 16, 2009 at 5:00 pm

[re=387760]Hooray For Anything[/re]: How did YOU know my lotto numbers?

El Pinche August 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm

[re=387738]FO[/re]: damn, that was embarrassingly bad. It’s like the American Carol of comments.

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm

[re=387765]Min[/re]: FO = Fail O’troll?

user-of-owls August 16, 2009 at 6:06 pm

[re=387765]Min[/re]: [re=387775]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Nices!

FO = Free Oral!

Bearbloke August 16, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Good Monday Morning, Wonketteers! President Obama is just about to sell-out his pro-healthcare-reform supporters.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32437468/

Comments, anyone?

jetjaguar August 16, 2009 at 6:17 pm

That computer looks looks like a piece of shit. My 6-year old Dell frankenbuild could kick that computers ASS. Muthafuckin’ AAASSSS. Bitch.

Liz Becton August 16, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Apparently what he’s doing at his computer is selling us all out on health care.

chascates August 16, 2009 at 6:31 pm

[re=387777]Bearbloke[/re]: Republicans could not allow a public option. After FDR created social security and other reforms the GOP didn’t win the Presidency until relatively benign Ike Eisenhower. Sensible health insurance reform would make Obama a hero to the working class whites (assuming it all worked) that are a large part of the GOP base and assure a large Democratic win for many years. Mega-contributors such as insurance companies, Big Pharma, HMOs, and the like would lose profit.

If they cave on this public option there’s nothing to stop the right from shooting down the employer mandates and the insurers who just in the spring said they would allow pre-existing conditions while issuing new policies may retract that.

user-of-owls August 16, 2009 at 6:35 pm

[re=387779]Liz Becton[/re]: If you got paid for using that name, my lowly, putrid, little wonkette reader, you have committed a crime and you will be punished for it when you are found.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=387713]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
Hi friend, Chas & friends :) All your captions are hilarious as always. I don’t mean to be debbie downer but I am so po’d that hopey gave away the public option today(bury it on a sunday nice touch) like meh who cares as long as we have a deal with the mafia/nazi insurance companies that give liver transplants to children after they die and the media finds out. face it THIS IS THE ILK HE IS IN BED WITH DEALING WITH. Get ready for viagra/cialis/lipitor commercials up the yin yang for the next 8 years. And don’t name the crap bill after Ted Kennedy, who, if he wasn’t so ill would abhor this foolery. And also in a psychological sense the bigot/teabag loons will feel like they won something WHEN WE OWN THE CONGRESS RIGHT NOW. Can’t you just see Becks smiling lard head, thinking he & they are now the kings of the world? Hobo, about your comment the other day, yes I’m starting to agree with you. As far as we know this all was decided a long time ago on the docks in NYC. I’m done with believing in any politician. I know you all loathe John Edwards, I think in his personal life he’s a scumbag, but his mantra was that he would never deal with these criminals. Never. Kennedy, FDR, Eisenhower, Big Dawg, all brilliant people with horrible personal choices & professional greatness. Frankly, I choose professional greatness. Paging Teddy Roosevelt, who would have mopped the floor with these vulgar Madoff like Insurance Companies, especially, if he would have had the majority in Congress like we do. He then would have laughed them out of the room after he mopped up with them.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=387778]jetjaguar[/re]:
“My 6-year old Dell frankenbuild could kick that computers ASS.”
Ok, you made me laugh in my pool of tears. As have many.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Beck’s evil smiling lard head until 2012 because of this & the rest of the delusional loon/bigots
http://www.laprensatoledo.com/Stories/2007/121207/Grinch.jpg

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Death Panney Granny Plug Pullers Have Won! Yearrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 7:00 pm

You give them an inch. THEY WILL STEAL A MILE. My prediction. Health Reform plug will be completely pulled soon. (No I don’t write for the NY Daily News)

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Irony of ironies: Today is the anniversary of Woodstock. We’re all trippin’ on too much hopey, while health care burns.

chascates August 16, 2009 at 7:08 pm

The Senate Finance Committee has said ‘co-ops’ might be considered even if they have ‘some’ government oversight. Which means the insurance company will have the Feds take any heat while they take the profit. Which can only come by denying service and high prices and unnecessary procedures. And the ‘people’ will declare their hysterical shrieking made the difference.

Next to fall apart: climate change legislation.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Would you get into bed with these criminals? Prez how could you?????????????????? There are millions of more stories like this. Where is the outrage at these crimes against humanity?????
http://cbs2.com/local/nataline.sarkisyan.CIGNA.2.615167.html

jetjaguar August 16, 2009 at 7:38 pm

RE: Dropping the Public Option

I’m calling bullshit. Maybe I’m just being over optimistic, but I think that the media is doing what it has been doing for a few weeks now: they take something that a congress person did or even did not say about health care reform to mean something that they probably didn’t mean. In this instance, look at WSJ’s article on Sebilius. The article’s title is “Sebelius: Public Health Option Is Not Essential for Overhaul.” Then, you go and read said article to find that NO WHERE in it did she say anything like that. Look closely at where the quotes start and end. Fucking media. Maybe they’re right, but they could at least add some more fucking context to make their case.

But if their right, if Hopey gives in on this. I will be fucking livid. And I won’t trust him again, because this is fucking important.

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 7:57 pm

[re=387792]jetjaguar[/re]: agreed word for word.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 8:10 pm

[re=387792]jetjaguar[/re]:
You are absolutely right. But in addition to Sebillus they are leaking to all media outlets that public option = over. They are trying to bury the story on a Sunday. I would have thought the same thing you did, until I saw that all media had the story and it is over, or I would have done the same as you & waited until it was confirmed. I wanna see Carville get Louisiana pissed & mouth off in that wonderful way he does. Olbermann will be foaming at the mouth tomorrow, Shultz will talk even louder if that’s possible. That’s about all the outrage I’ve seen on this administrations strange and sadistic bedfellows. I am in the medical field & I’ve been screaming about the rich get well & the poor die sooner bs going on in this country forever. Decades. Now on the precifice of finally taking care of our own poor sick people & innocent children, it’s business as usual at the expense of the poor, sick & children. Call me a broken record, but play back the dem primary, & see who was warning us about this pussy footin with criminals ad nauseum. Ok, the guy who couldn’t keep his pants zipped. How many great Presidents had horrible private lives? I am more interested in their public duties & performance, & for those who can’t speak for themselves & for those who will speak for them. Another thing, do not name this crap bill after Ted Kennedy, who if not for his illness would not have stood for this. Ted Kennedy has been in politics forever & would have seized this majority & given it to the criminals but good. Like Al Gore, this was his baby for decades & the cause of his life. Sorry, but there is a lot to be said for experience & gravitas.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 8:18 pm

How is everyone going to be covered without the public option? I guess 50 million americans don’t matter. I guess sick, poor people & children aren’t thought of as “voters”, so to heck with them. I’m seriously thinking 2012 & my public voting options, as will many others.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Another thing. I have been listening to the “language” lately. I have been hearing way to much tax credit lingo for the people who can’t afford health care. This is rethug speak. And my fears & instinct are now coming true. Next we’ll be hearing about education for poor & sick people. rethugs solutions to every single malady: Tax credits & education. I’m officially independent as of today.

S.Luggo August 16, 2009 at 8:25 pm

“Is this how we tweet to the Republicans that the Dempussies cave on the Public Option?”
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125043830465934883.html?mod=rss_com_mostcommentart

chascates August 16, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Sen. Conrad: Public option a ‘wasted effort’:
http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/sen.-conrad-public-option-a-wasted-effort-2009-08-16.html

Despite saying Obama’s faith in a government option was strong, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs also would not commit to any insistence of a public option from the White House:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/16/ftn/main5245252.shtml?tag=contentBody;featuredPost-PE

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 8:30 pm

2 people I miss. John Edwards & Tom Daschle. Them & their stupid personal behaviors. But think about it, where is the passion? Where is the outrage? I don’t feel it, hear it & now don’t see it from this administration.

imissopus August 16, 2009 at 8:36 pm

I’d like to agree with jetjaguar, but Sebelius also apparently told CNN that a public option is “not an essential element” of reform. And Mike Ross told CNN that he thinks about 90% of the bill that will get sent to Hopey is reflected in the bill coming out of the Senate Finance Committee. He also said he “will never vote for a bill to kill old people, period.” This is a DEMOCRAT speaking…a Blue Dog, yes, but still a Dem.

Bill Maher and Ross Douthat were talking on Maher’s show the other night about the climate bill, and Douthat wanted to know why Dems didn’t just ram progressive legislation through Congress without worrying about bipartisanship. Maher pointed out that cap-and-trade is a conservative concept, so essentially here’s what we have with the two parties in Congress: one takes the conservative positions and the other says “I like turtles.” Meaning of course that that party’s got nothing. So right now I’m feeling less than optimistic about the future of progressives in general, not just on health care.

imissopus August 16, 2009 at 8:39 pm

Oh and agree on John Edwards. I liked the guy and the passion he showed standing up for people no one else was standing up for. The fact that his adultery has torpedoed his career is a real shame. Not that I’m trying to excuse it, but Sanford, Vitter, and Ensign have yet to resign, just to name three off the top of my head. Bill Clinton survived. Really, a damn shame.

chascates August 16, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Apparently an insurance co-op (structure to be determined) would offer cover for the blue dogs as well as a lot of Republicans where a public option would not.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 8:46 pm

[re=387803]imissopus[/re]:
Thank you! A long list: Scholars now believe even the saint Lincoln was bi and was cheating with men while he was married. These are great people with questionable & horrible personal choices. This isn’t heaven this is earth. No perfection here. That’s reality. Edwards was a broken record for years about dealing with these criminals. Over & over. How completely 100% right was this guy on this subject?

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 8:56 pm

This is tough, but listen carefully, hope blah, blah, blah, being called out on insurance company donations vs. a person who really gives a damn & what we see happening right now before our eyes: ice for blood vs. passion & caring. I am majorly pissed & regretful of this election & primary right damn now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE0NNXOHUcs
Who spoke for people no one gives a damn about & used REAL examples??????????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHtd7Mjxpsc

BlueStateLibtard August 16, 2009 at 9:00 pm

The American people in general are the most selfish on earth. Who is against the public option? 1) People on Medicare or Medicaid, and couldn’t care less about other people, and 2) people who have private insurance and haven’t yet been screwed by their insurance company. Until this second group learns the hard way and gets screwed by their insurance company, nothing will change. As long as they’re getting “their’s,” their idea is to hell with everyone else.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 9:01 pm

“Do you think these people (Insurance criminals) expect SOMETHING for money Senator Obama????????????????” ~John Edwards
And what might that “SOMETHING” be???????? August 15, 2009

rambone August 16, 2009 at 9:10 pm

[re=387808]Nerdalicious[/re]: And what might that “SOMETHING” be????????

buttsecks?

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 9:11 pm

“In whose world will these (Insurance criminals) give up their power? They will never give up their power!!!!! You can’t negotiate with these people!!!!!!!!!!!!~ John Edwards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi3_CCLv4No&feature=channel

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 9:13 pm

[re=387809]rambone[/re]:
“buttsecks?”
Yup ;) .
As I laugh thru my tears. But I did see this coming.

Athar August 16, 2009 at 9:19 pm

At least we know that isn’t the Titanic sailing past the Statue of Liberty in the painting above his desk. We know that because the Titanic, of course, never made it to New York harbor.

jetjaguar August 16, 2009 at 9:28 pm

Nerdalicious: what can I say? I hope you’re wrong. I look forward to watching The Young Turks tomorrow morn.

Bluestatelibtard: I think that the number one reason for any and all opposition against anything Obama still comes down to good old fashioned racism. I struggle with it with my baby-boomer parents, and I’m sure a lot of you do to. It’s fucking maddening.

Lazy Media August 16, 2009 at 9:42 pm

[re=387801]Nerdalicious[/re]: Jesus, concern troll, could you please NOT smoke a bunch of meth before you post?

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Someone needs to hack teh Intrawebz and put this as everyone’s start page.

http://www.opensecrets.org/

These people may believe the “death panels” might kill them, whereas they are completely oblivious that INSURANCE COMPANIES will kill them, and for money.

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Dammit, this is what happens when the Wonkette staff don’t post new threads.
Suddenly we lose our snark, turn serious and start actually TALKING about the issues.
If I wanted to do that I’d… wait….
no I wouldn’t.

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 9:58 pm

Look at these numbers:
http://www.opensecrets.org/industries/contrib.php?ind=F09&cycle=2008

and then switch to see the 2010 election cycle and watch how they change along with who
came into power and who left.
The Dems have officially been bought out by the Insurance companies.

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 10:04 pm

The same trend holds for whoever happens to be in power at the time recieves the most from various industries.

chascates August 16, 2009 at 10:11 pm

[re=387820]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: A complete reversal from ’08 to ’10. I’ve whined about it before but until we have publicly-financed campaigns (which will take a constitutional amendment to circumvent 1st amendment issues) with no PACs or lobbyist money there will never be substantial reform on any issue.

Todd Mecklem August 16, 2009 at 10:22 pm

“Says here I’ve given up on the public option. That means any possibility of the United States ever having universal health coverage is gone.”

“Damn! The Cubs-Pirates game was rained out.”

chascates August 16, 2009 at 10:26 pm

http://briefingroom.thehill.com/2009/08/16/ross-i-refuse-to-kill-old-people/

When a conservative Democrat takes the time to promise that he will not “kill old people,” you really know Democrats are struggling to maintain their footing on healthcare reform.
So it’s pretty stunning that Rep. Mike Ross (D-Ark.), a leading Blue Dog Democrat, felt it necessary to make that pledge on CNN today.
“I will never vote for a bill to kill old people, period,” he said.
Just yesterday, Ross got a standing ovation when he bragged about standing up to President Obama and Nancy Pelosi.

These people are not conservative Democrats, they’re DINOs.

WickedWitch August 16, 2009 at 10:40 pm

Ken…. Oh Ken…. I see some people worthy of the Ban Hammer.

Also, be ready to opine on whether Tom “The Hammer” DeLay will be named a hoofer tomorrow….

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 10:45 pm

[re=387825]chascates[/re]: As far as I’m concerned, there are only two parties:
There’s the party of politicians that are in the tank for private interests; and the party of politicians that never win elections.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 10:46 pm

[re=387817]Lazy Media[/re]:
Wow, that WOULD be really funny IF I was 14 years old & smoking meth like yourself. But I’m an adult who has taken care of poor sick people my whole life. What have you done for the downtrodden lately???? Grow up A*****e. Read the Progressive blogs who categorically elected this disappointment. They are on fire (smoking meth in your tween world) more so than I. Also, read the other comments here, they reflect my sentiment for the most part. I saw this coming weeks ago. Go watch Jon & Kate to get informed on what’s going on in the world.

El Pinche August 16, 2009 at 10:49 pm

Hear, hear chascates.
I think I hate the blue dogs more than Dick Armey, Palin, and teabaggers . At least those assholes are up front about it while the blue bitches are lying sacks of shit.

hobospacejunkie August 16, 2009 at 10:53 pm

[re=387777]Bearbloke[/re]: Thanks for the health care link. And no thanks to Dems, who supposedly have unassailable majorities in both houses yet somehow are “bowing to Republican pressure?”

Who the fuck said elections have consequences? What happened to the ~75% of Americans who favor substantive health care reform? Corruption rules our federal government. Thanks for abandoning the 50 million people w/o insurance, Mr. President. Looks like he just can’t be arsed to use the awesome power and majesty of the Office of the President to help anyone not named Goldman Sachs.

slappypaddy August 16, 2009 at 10:55 pm

barry, get off that damn computer right now! you’ve got chores to do and your homework to finish! don’t make me have to come in there! barry? are you listening to me? barry! tomorrow’s a school day, i expect you to have your work done and your lights out by ten o’clock!

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 10:56 pm

[re=387831]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
“Thanks for abandoning the 50 million people w/o insurance, Mr. President.”
I love you.
~Your meth friend Nerd

GreatOldOnesParty August 16, 2009 at 11:00 pm

[re=387831]hobospacejunkie[/re]: If this whole thing completely falls apart (ie. things manage to actually get WORSE than they already are) and he totally caves into the wingnutz, he’ll have lame-ducked his ass before his first year is even over; and no one will take him seriously anymore.

El Pinche August 16, 2009 at 11:04 pm

Wow, the dems are a bunch of pussies. We lost healthcare reform (comeon! without the public option, HC is nothing) because Sarah Palin posts some trigtarded crap about death panels. Wow….just fucking wow. I hope MIke Ross’ kidneys fail before Rush’s. At least teabaggers are honest about it.

Mine' August 16, 2009 at 11:10 pm

“Dear shit fer brains…”

El Pinche August 16, 2009 at 11:13 pm

[re=387833]Nerdalicious[/re]:
Pass the meth, ,man. I need some. And don’t forget the Dems credibility . We have a fucking majority , Democratic administration, and a crazy opposition with no real basis except lies and racism, and we still fumble the ball at the end zone (yeah, a sports analogy and possibly a run-on sentence, sue me).

scotack August 16, 2009 at 11:14 pm

What will Obama do on his computer tonite?
Look for work.

Nerdalicious August 16, 2009 at 11:19 pm

[re=387839]El Pinche[/re]:
I have this great contact: Cameron Douglas. You in?

ShaqsDong August 16, 2009 at 11:37 pm

[re=387840]scotack[/re]: I think we have a winner.

Kate August 17, 2009 at 12:02 am

Please RT. @Hillary: It’s 3:00am.

SayItWithWookies August 17, 2009 at 12:03 am

Look folks — I don’t think the public option is dead. Senator Conrad says so, but that doesn’t mean it’s a fact — he just doesn’t want it, and his deal between his blue dogs and the Republicans won’t include it. But as far as I can tell it’s still supported by 50 votes in the Senate, and that means no matter what passes there, it’ll go into reconciliation with the House bill. If they include it at that point, there’s no cloture vote — a straight majority gets it through.

Also, Robert Gibbs said today that President Obama still supports the public option. Saying it’s not essential is vastly different from saying it can die — there has to be something that raises the level of competition is what’s essential. Of course the public option is the best such alternative, but if the Senate comes up with something ingeniously better that fulfills that requirement, then great.

So it’s not the time to start screaming and yelling and giving up. It’s time to start screaming and yelling and writing your senators and congressmen.

hobospacejunkie August 17, 2009 at 12:11 am

[re=387829]Nerdalicious[/re]: You goddamn concern troll. How dare you write about the most pressing issue in US American politics? Just because the consequences of the resolution of this debacle will reverberate for years, affecting issues far beyond just health care…the nerve of you people!

Well, I visited whitehouse.gov/cowards to register my disapproval, so some 21-year-old intern can roll his/her eyes at my naivete. Fat lot of good it’ll do. The only way to get anything (un)done in DC is scream inanities as loudly as possible while furiously shoveling money under the table.

And now we’re watching a recording of Meet the Press. Who told Tom Coburn that parting his hair in the middle to look like a vagina was a good idea? They have all the most evil people in DC around one table, plus Rachel Maddow. This could’ve been her Col. Stauffenberg moment.

chascates August 17, 2009 at 12:11 am

[re=387847]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’ll amen your writing my congressmen.

https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

http://www.webslingerz.com/jhoffman/congress-email.html

chascates August 17, 2009 at 12:12 am
loudblackgirl August 17, 2009 at 12:14 am

wow. what happened to the light hearted, snarky banter? geez – i had to fish through all those serious posts about health care co-ops to leave my comment. i’m seriously disappointed, kiddies. seriously.

zhubajie August 17, 2009 at 12:21 am

[re=387491]southpaw[/re]: The shrunken heads of Bush, Cheney, Rummie, et al. Their dicks in the freezer, of course.

hobospacejunkie August 17, 2009 at 12:24 am

[re=387847]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thanks for the “talk me down” reality check. I emailed the prez. It can’t hurt to write our two worthless TX senators. Thank gods our House rep is about as far left as you’ll find there (Lloyd Doggett.)

I’m less than optimistic, though, because the fringe right, amazingly, is driving the debate. They cry “death panels, socialism, etc.,” which has the effect of moving the goalposts so far to the right that parts of the bill like the public option, which previously sounded reasonable, is now presented as almost radical and therefore expendable.

fishskicanoe August 17, 2009 at 12:26 am

Why would health insurance co-ops be any less of a public option than an HHS run health insurance program? Jeez Louise, you could write into the co-op enabling regs that if a co-op had to close shop its assets and customers would have to be turned over to another non-profit or even the Federal government. From what I understand Germany finances its health care system through non-profit co-ops and they spend about half on health that we do and everyone is covered.

zhubajie August 17, 2009 at 12:29 am

[re=387727]x111e7thst[/re]: 1790s wd include the works of De Sade, yes? Not to mention a lot of “le petite pieds” illustrations. Is that too early for the Hottentot Venus? Or Sally Hemmings Nude engravings?

Nerdalicious August 17, 2009 at 12:33 am

[re=387848]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
Yeah, I digress from hilarity for 1 sec & KABOOM! My bad. I envy your wit ( & observant i.e. vagina hair) mixed with wisdom & truth. On the subject of the Nazi Meet the Press round table: I thought Dickipedia Armey’s face was so red he was morphing into Satan, &/or malignant hypertension with which his fat ass pension & Medical Care would take care of nicely ( & I mean take care of the Satan morphing, it’s covered). Ahhhhhhhh that’s better. You’ve talked me down from my Meth Crisis. I bow to you. Carry on.

zhubajie August 17, 2009 at 12:35 am

[re=387788]Nerdalicious[/re]: Health Reform: Feds pay all the bills of all the healing ministries! You are all assigned to a Health&Wealth Evangelists Maintenance Organization! Just 10% (at least) of your income to John Haggee, Benny Hinn, et al, and they’ll heal you when your sick! Of course, you must all get born again first.

SayItWithWookies August 17, 2009 at 12:36 am

[re=387849]chascates[/re]: [re=387853]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Great — the more our elected representatives (also the ones bought by the insurance companies) know that there are citizens out here supporting the truth rather than the hysteria, the better. And it doesn’t hurt to promise them that you’ll vote for any Democrat who runs against them in their primary if they vote against a public option.

Nerdalicious August 17, 2009 at 12:44 am

[re=387857]zhubajie[/re]:
Oh yes, the Holy of Holies Tithing Option: Give us your last dime & pray you don’t get sick.

GreatOldOnesParty August 17, 2009 at 1:02 am

[re=387851]loudblackgirl[/re]: Like I said before, this is what happens when a thread gets too long on Wonkette.

gurukalehuru August 17, 2009 at 1:15 am

I’m with Nerdalicious. How many fucking stupid computer jokes can we take?
The weekend is over where I am and I start Monday morning on a down note.
This is what comes of not prosecuting Republicans.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 17, 2009 at 1:36 am

Now they’re saying Sebelius misspoke.. or not.. Jeez, mean what you say and say what you fucking mean. I hate when the Dems retreat into ineffective spineless pussymode.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 17, 2009 at 1:41 am

[re=387864]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: forgot to add, “which is always”.

grevillea August 17, 2009 at 2:06 am

Support Glenn Beck http://www.defendglenn.com/support_wall.php?

Arthur Ovine, Serpent’s Neck, AL
I love your show, you are the only news show worth watching, especially right now when there is so much at stake for our rights and our freedom in this Country. Thank you for reporting the things we NEED TO KNOW, not just what THEY want us to know! Mission accomplished – Don’t give up!!! True Americans need to know! Buy American trucknuts! Boycott advertisers threatening to use their first amendment rights.

Tyra Roots, Seacrest, FL
Glenn, you are good to go! I have the right to my beliefs and no-one stands up against the facts like you! I truely believe the end time is coming to fight agaisnt Gog and Magog. Rest assured if I could afford insurance I would boycott your advertisers in support! God bless.

SayItWithWookies August 17, 2009 at 2:34 am

[re=387864]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I wonder if they’re doing that on purpose. It seems like every time some piece of legislation or some policy comes under fire, someone (or two or three) in Obama’s crew says publicly that one piece or another isn’t set in stone. This fuels a backlash from his supporters, maybe, that impels them on the right path? I don’t know, but they’ve done this consistently with different bailout options, healthcare and some other policies that I can’t recall just now.

hobospacejunkie August 17, 2009 at 2:37 am

[re=387864]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: inaffective spineless pussy mode

Indeed. Jellyfish seems to be their default position. I would say someone needs to remind them they are the majority power but they’ve made that distinction meaningless through their (mostly legal) corruption. As chascates says, ain’t much going to change w/o strict public financing of elections. And outlawing 527s. This BS that they’re legal because it’s free speech has got to go. Why is free speech only available to those who can pay for it?

villageatrois August 17, 2009 at 2:47 am

{YELLOW DOG IS NOW YOUR FRENEMY}

BO-GIANT: STRIKE YELLOWDOG WITH GLENBECK AXE

Warning: Do not eat KEN-EATY brains.

Carly August 17, 2009 at 3:23 am

I think…. Barack Obama searching some investment ideas on this computer .lol.. For this read this report http://bit.ly/invest_portfolio

grevillea August 17, 2009 at 3:39 am

[re=387874]Carly[/re]: Thanks for the tip! I have sent my bank details to your advisors in Nigeria and await my first shipment of Russian brides with bated breath!

villageatrois August 17, 2009 at 3:41 am

[re=387874]Carly[/re]: {STRIKE CARLY WITH SPAM HAMMER.}

POTUS: All Pennsylvanians should know that sustainable energy and universal healthcare depend on Carly being banished to a bold, new, innovative and forward-thinking space program.

Suds McKenzie August 17, 2009 at 3:42 am

mayonnaise

Vacation Without Hats August 17, 2009 at 6:35 am

[re=387876]grevillea[/re]:

Russian brides with bated breath!

It’s all the anchovies they eat over there. Just get some family-sized “Lavoris” before they arrive and tell them it’s colored vodka.

chascates August 17, 2009 at 6:40 am

I’ll have to say that looking at President Obama’s back in the above photo I don’t see any funny square shape that seemed to define President Bush’s attire:

http://dir.salon.com/story/news/feature/2004/10/29/bulge/index.html

oceanclub August 17, 2009 at 6:54 am

Obama’s in your base, stealing your flag.

Nerdalicious August 17, 2009 at 7:00 am

[re=387863]gurukalehuru[/re]:
Happy Monday! Smile! (That’s health reform in the casket)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKrh6tfrJw8

Carl Spakler August 17, 2009 at 7:22 am

I for one welcome the return of our ‘politics-as-usual’ overlords, I was always on your side*

*…this offer only valid if things stay as they appear.

aleks August 17, 2009 at 9:31 am

[re=387813]Athar[/re]: That just proves it’s not a *photograph* of the Titanic in NY harbor.

Deepthroat August 17, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Lord Growing: “[Sigh] If I’ve lost Jonah Goldberg, I’ve lost Middle America.”

Maybe more like Middle Earth.

AxmxZ August 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Reality Klein-bottles as Obama finds this contest online and leaves this comment.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 17, 2009 at 2:33 pm

If it’s a Caption Contest how come nobody wins? It should be dubbed a “Caption Exercise”.

Atheist Nun August 17, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=387660]x111e7thst[/re]: [re=387671]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: [re=387722]HuddledMass[/re]: Atheist Nun has trapped me an endless nerd-loop.

Live Long and Prosper, my brothers!

caitsmith August 17, 2009 at 4:30 pm

“Today, I was pushing for healthcare reform. I had my lifelong goals scrutinized by congress, some jerk started telling everyone I support euthanasia for old people, and now I’m pretty sure the public healthcare option is getting scrapped. Then, when I got home from work, my wife told me I looked gay in my favorite jeans. FML”

fuzzywzhe September 28, 2009 at 12:35 am

Dear Diary,

It sure is awesome being a meat puppet for Goldman Sachs. I haven’t ended the Iraq War yet, I’ve not repealed the Patriot Act, or shut down Guantanamo or ended warrantless wiretapping, or fired Halliburton, or even removed paid murdering mercenaries in working Iraq and still most Democrats tirelessly defending me, saying “at least I’m not Bush” even though I’ve not undone even the simplest and most trivial unconstitutional acts he did while in office making me just like him.

I think because I’m jabbering a lot about Health Care Reform, which failed under Nixon and Clinton they support me still? As if the 100 billion dollar insurance industry will let me cut them out of the loop! Well, it’s not like it’s hard to lie to these morons, not a single one checked my senate record before voting for me. The more idiot voters we get the easier it is to keep either a person like me or a Republican clone of me in power.

Well, time for bed and to say my prayers to the all powerful Lord and Master of Eternal Darkness. Who knew that my religion was the same as the last “presidents”?

Love,
President Uncle Tom.

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