SO QUICK  4:47 pm August 14, 2009

SIGNATURE-SOLICITING BROWN SHIRTS SEND FREE SPEECH TO DEATH PANELS TO DIE

by Jim Newell

Suddenly in America it is *illegal* to offer words of support for popular American television hosts such as Glenn Beck. This is not your grandfather’s American Internet anymore, people. (Anyway, time to stop signing it!) [Support Glenn Beck and His Values and Principles]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 219 comments }

I-man August 14, 2009 at 4:49 pm

As goes Hypocrisy so does Irony.

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 4:49 pm

I’ve been waiting to follow the worms, sign me up.

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Wheeee — awesomeness of the day. Oh, and speaking of awesomeness, I saw this at TPM and just had to share:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/08/behind-the-scenes-summer-2009-at-the-white-house.php?img=5

SemiCharmedQuark August 14, 2009 at 4:51 pm

My freedom of speech has been horribly wounded!

ManchuCandidate August 14, 2009 at 4:51 pm

For a guy who is supposedly SOOOOOOOOO Popular and EVERYONE Watches the geniuz of Bekc (sic), support for “The Fat Racist Queer-Sandwich Hour With Glenn Beck” is only some 2K signatures in a 1/2 hour.

AKAM80TheWolf August 14, 2009 at 4:53 pm

I read that as “Support Glenn Beck and his Valium and Percocet”, which I would be delighted to do.

CrunchyKnee August 14, 2009 at 4:54 pm

My Internets can haz the death panel?

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Wow.
Just…wow.
That made my day.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=386936]ManchuCandidate[/re]: yeah, and who signs a fucking petition as “anonymous” anyway? not someone who believes in freeze peach, that’s for sure!

Gallowglass August 14, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Now America will never hear the voice of Studly Manbeef!

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm

Why does Glenn Beck hate America?

shypixel2 August 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm

How does one start a Wonkette petition? I would like to start a petition to have Glenn Beck’s balls bronzed, to preserve them for future generations of us “real” Americans. Preferably while he is still attached to them.

/sign

facehead August 14, 2009 at 4:58 pm

The terrorists won.

magic titty August 14, 2009 at 4:59 pm

April Come She Will by Simon and Garfunkel seems appropriate right now…

Min August 14, 2009 at 4:59 pm

If on-line petitions are outlawed, then only outlaws will sign on-line petitions.

doxastic August 14, 2009 at 5:00 pm

[re=386931]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think my favorite is the audience looking bored as hell as Brad Paisley plays at some country music appreciation night. Also the Camp David basketball game, if only because it seems that there are children playing as well. What I wouldn’t give to see Obama block an 8-year-old’s shot back into his face.

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Yeah, what a jip! You can only sign once! I’m feeling like America is slipping into the abyss, and all I can do is watch!

dave666 August 14, 2009 at 5:01 pm
shypixel2 August 14, 2009 at 5:02 pm

[re=386957]Min[/re]: oOoO now I feel like an internet outlaw.

(Cue bad remake of Tim McGraw’s Indian Outlaw)

Schweet!

The Little Rock August 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Just started my on petition against the censorship on the other petition.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/glennbeck_wingnut/

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Alas, Syd Barrett posted from beyond the grave; now nobody will read his sublime, Mandrax-soaked thoughts.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: that one was fun! glenn is an inspiration to coked up retards everywhere!

teebob2000 August 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Good times.

orange August 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm

The image above looks like a list of dates in that Glen Beck’s thinking still resides.

Bully Teddy!

Asshat August 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm

good times

Voyou Charmant August 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm

“Glenn Beck told me that Obama was going to rape and choke my grandmother. I don’t think Long John Silvers should stop paying him, fi they do my grandmother will get rape choked. “

dave666 August 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm

funniest comment on a support petition evar………………… “Ann Breshe, Ashtabula, OHIO
I told my pastor we should watch Glenn at the next service. He said No. I’m not going to that church anymore”

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 5:05 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: Oh yes, deploying snark missiles in 3…2…1…

TheWhiff August 14, 2009 at 5:06 pm

I thought I was supporting the involuntary psychiatric hospitalization of Mr. Beck. Isn’t he off his meds again?

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 5:06 pm

DAMN! Just when things are getting funn…republicans have NO humor genes.

radicallefttsgal August 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Beck is heading for a major meltdown. He will slash his own throat with a razor and/or slice his own dick off all the while screaming about communist negroes from outer space. He must be kept on the air so we can all see this live. Show your support now.

trondant August 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: Done and done.

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm

I blame ACORN.

orange August 14, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: done.

assistant/atlas August 14, 2009 at 5:13 pm

[re=386960]doxastic[/re]: That’s a good one. Malia’s all “When the fuck can we stop pandering to the bubbas and get, like, Mos Def* up in here?”

*Or the Jonas Brothers or whatever…WTF do I know about “kids today”….

Native of SL UT August 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: What a coincidence. Glenn supporters love TruckNutz too. Also, also.

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: So much fun! So much fun!

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: “Baracktheislamicshock Husseinsuperallah, Mecca, Kenya
Ha ha i wuz borned in Eritrea not Kenya suckaz.”

You?

shypixel2 August 14, 2009 at 5:17 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: They’ve begun censoring… :( pussies

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm

@assistant/atlas: Surely the kids today are still into Styx and U2, right? Those guys are timeless, as was everything from 1983, when I was 13.

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=387005]shypixel2[/re]: Glenn Beck now officially hates free speech. But that’s okay because America is GOOD, or so I hear.

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Haruhi Suzumiya, Shinjuku, Tokyo
Thank you for your support Glenn! – God

bureaucrap August 14, 2009 at 5:23 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: [re=387005]shypixel2[/re]: The entertainment at http://www.defendglenn.com seems to be over because they delete unsupportive comments shortly after posting, BUT

Clearly we are keeping someone there very busy eliminating the comments as they are posted, so keep those comments coming. I feel all warm inside just knowing that we are annoying the s**t out of even one Glenntard, especially on a Friday, when the poor guy/girl probably just wants to go home and drink a coors light.

oldguy August 14, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Just watch out – this is a tsunami of BeckSupport. Up to 2000 signatures and surging.

I-man August 14, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Lawrence O’donnell is shitting all over some podunk rep. Why doesn’t he have his own show already on America’s Liberal Network.

Bearbloke August 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=386931]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m glad to see the President has a few Secret Service guys disguised as young white kids – Reich-wing Rethugicans murderers would have fatal mental implosions at the thought of one of them protecting the President…

shypixel2 August 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=387015]oldguy[/re]: The surge worked… at least that’s what she said.

Bearbloke August 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=386991]orange[/re]: done!

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=387006]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: same here. although I am finding out via facebook that the girl I was so in love with back in 1983 at the age of 13 isn’t as cute as she used to be. Victory is mine!

oldguy August 14, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=386949]Gallowglass[/re]: We can all be Studlie Manbeouf today. Let’s go sign up.

Joshua Norton August 14, 2009 at 5:28 pm

If his speech is supposed to be free, why does he expect sponsors to pay for it?

‘Splain that to me, Mr. Brech!

Bearbloke August 14, 2009 at 5:30 pm

[re=387014]bureaucrap[/re]:

“I feel all warm inside just knowing that we are annoying the s**t out of even one Glenntard, especially on a Friday, when the poor guy probably just wants to go home to his mom’s basement and wank off to pictures of underage crippled girls strangling black kittens with their bare hands.”

/fixed

AbstinenceOnly Ed August 14, 2009 at 5:30 pm

The signatures are hidden, but the prophetic words of Dixon Boibutz live on! Glenn Beck for president of NAMBLA.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=387014]bureaucrap[/re]: I would be absolutely astonished to find out that someone was actually getting paid to do that job. And I don’t count disability/unemployment/SS, or any other commie handout invented by hitler in kenya for the mooninites.

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

First they came after Glen Beck, and I did nothing, because…well, I hate Glen Beck. Next they came after hard working Americans, and I did nothing, because, fuck it…I’m retired! But then they came after my comments, and deleted them…then it was too late for America Americans to salvage their freedoms. Damn it!

Downtheroadapiece August 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=387014]bureaucrap[/re]: Bah! I’ve always wanted to visit Bloodorange. I here it’s lovely in the summers.

Crack editorial staff they’ve got there.

flyingspaghettimonster August 14, 2009 at 5:33 pm

why can’t we read the signer’s comments? what kinda petition is this?

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: hehehehe

“Hans Indepans, deer park, texas
Glen was right! Barak Hussein IS a racist! He could’ve been born white but he CHOSE NOT TO! Why does he hate white people be choosing to be BLACK? “

rocktonsammy August 14, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Glenn Beck= Quiter

SemiCharmedQuark August 14, 2009 at 5:33 pm

HAHAHA! That support Glenn Beck site has deleted most of Wonkette’s post, but has left up “Rusty Shackleford’s” post. Apparently they can’t tell the difference between their own nutbag supporters and Dale Gribble.

SHA-SHAW!

shypixel2 August 14, 2009 at 5:35 pm

[re=387046]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: So an official fool the censor contest is in order?

Rodney Badger August 14, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=387046]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: We should try to put up weird, vaguely supportive comments, and see if they get through. Let’s make that petition funky. Uncomfortably funky.

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=386967]The Little Rock[/re]: Marry me?

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: OMG! Who did I see on the list of his advertisers: http://www.defendglenn.com/advertisers.php#ratings?The United States Postal Service.

Oh god, who hates America now? I can’t figure it all out…

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=387046]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: *sigh* Dammit, Dale.

SemiCharmedQuark August 14, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=387050]shypixel2[/re]: OMG-YES!

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=387050]shypixel2[/re]: Apparently they have no problem believing that fictional anime girls are God.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haruhi_Suzumiya_(character)

thehelveticascenario August 14, 2009 at 5:38 pm

“David Carradine, Hollywood, CA
Hang in there, Glenn!”

I love you, whoever posted this.

Downtheroadapiece August 14, 2009 at 5:40 pm

David Carradine said Hang in there.

I love you guys.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 5:40 pm

LOL this one is real tho isn’t it?

Ron Lang, Oxford, MS
WHAT ARE THESE LIBRALS DOING TO GLENN’S INTERNET! Stop it!

SemiCharmedQuark August 14, 2009 at 5:41 pm

They just had a new round of deletes and Rusty Shackleford is still going strong.

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Chuck D, Bronx, NY
Fight the power, Glenn! Fight the powers that be! It’s hard being a Public Enemy!

Hahahahah!

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 5:42 pm

and omg, whoever put up this one:

David Carradine, Hollywood, CA
Hang in there, Glenn!

I think I soiled myself. well, I soiled myself a little more, anyway.

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Liz Becton made it thru!!

http://www.defendglenn.com/support_wall.php?

geminisunmars August 14, 2009 at 5:45 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]: Thanks dave666! Have done my part for phree speach and intelujunt disgorse.

Redhead August 14, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Tried to post “Glenn – love the way you stuck it to those libruls! and the way you were all over those teabaggers! u really took it from them, hard at times, but I know u really like it. keep taking it from em, no matter how hard they make it!” but they deleted it. :(

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Jonas Venture! yes!

orange August 14, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=387063]Death Panel Wagon[/re]: It has made many cuts

shypixel2 August 14, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Arthur Dent is still there…

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=387071]Redhead[/re]: That’s because whoever is deleting the comments is so totally teh gh3y and cought on right away.

The Little Rock August 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=387053]problemwithcaring[/re]: Yes. But only if we can do it in my grandpappy’s living room. We’ll do it right betwixt his collection of souvenir Elvis plates and autographed Glenn Beck picture. You are a god fearing Christian ain’t ya?

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=387038]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Not to mention that Nikolai Carpathia is the antichrist character in the Left Behind series.

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

, ,
hey fuckhead, you forgot to delete this one

BRILLIANT

Country Club Jihadi August 14, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Ray Cyst and Y.T. Power support Glenn Beck and Jesus.

SemiCharmedQuark August 14, 2009 at 5:52 pm

ROFLOL! Michael Vick: Glenn, my dogs will fight for you.

thehelveticascenario August 14, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Cotton Hill’s up there too now, though I changed his residence to not make it too obvious.

Redhead August 14, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=387076]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Well I figured this might be more subtle: “Keep your head high, man. No matter what they throw at you, no matter how hard they make it, you can take it. Just remember to keep a stiff upper lip and it’ll all be over soon. Just don’t think about it, just suck it up and deal with it.”
But I think they caught on to that one too. Boooooo. Buncha no-fun pussies.

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 5:55 pm

[re=387083]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: thank you!

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Lelouch Lamprouge. Area, 11
[censored]

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=387086]Redhead[/re]: saw that one!
great!

Downtheroadapiece August 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Kenneth Gladney! Oh we are blessed with his presence!

EggplantParm August 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=387006]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: WE. ARE. GEN. X. We built this internetz, hear us snark!

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

, ,
delete this, asshat

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Oh my god,

STEPHEN HAWKING FOR THE WIN!!!!!!

S t e p h e n H a w k i n g, O x f o r d, U K
T h a n k y o u f o r f i g h t i n g a g a i n s t s o c i a l i z e d m e d i c i n e. I f I h a d i t I w o u l d b e d e a d t o d a y.

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 6:02 pm

This is too much fun. Work getting done == 0.

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Chairman Mao, Beijing, China
I’m Chairman Mao, and I approve of the removal of this message.

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 6:03 pm

[re=387077]The Little Rock[/re]: god fearing Christian? Of course. That’s why I asked to marry you before I asked you to let me piss on your face. What kinda whore do you think I am?

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Who is Biggest Fan whose eyes were burned out my battery acid??!! You are awesome

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 6:05 pm

I haven’t had this much fun at work since we discovered the Ron Paul Dating website. Good times

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 6:06 pm

well i’ve had one stick for a little bit so far. let’s see how long it takes them to remember who the crocodile hunter was

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=387109]ShamWow[/re]: hahahah yeah that one lasted about three seconds.

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Hahaha, MORBO.

Bearbloke August 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm

[re=387072]Baconcat[/re]: GO TEAM VENTURE!!

geminisunmars August 14, 2009 at 6:11 pm

This stuff almost (almost) makes Beck’s existence on this plane tolerable. Almost. Thanks StephenHawking and Michael Vick, (two names I never thought I’d be putting in the same sentence) wherever you are.

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Nathan Forrest, Chapel Hill, TN
I salute you!…

Balkie Bartakamous, ,
Pay for my cousin’s healthcare? Don’t be ridiculous!

both been up for a while. Maybe they don’t know they’re jokes?

Limeylizzie August 14, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=387100]Baconcat[/re]: Oh Dear Jesus I am screaming and weeping, soon will be urinating myself.

The Little Rock August 14, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=387108]problemwithcaring[/re]: Lucky day! If you are truly as polite as you are filthy we shall be wed within the fortnight. I’ll say a prayer to Jesus tonight to ask that he give me divine providence when picking your wedding night sex toys.

Downtheroadapiece August 14, 2009 at 6:14 pm

Dent still sticking it out. As is Mr. Hannity. Let’s see how Divine Brown does…..

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 6:16 pm

[re=387126]Bearbloke[/re]: Phantom Limb is still in da house!

orange August 14, 2009 at 6:19 pm

Laura’s Bush, , TX
mrumph mrumph mrumph

SemiCharmedQuark August 14, 2009 at 6:20 pm

I spit on czars, Now surrender Moose and Squirrel.

ROFLOL!

Redhead August 14, 2009 at 6:21 pm

“Truck Nutz, Bakersfield, CA
You need psychiatric care, Glenn. GTFO my TV.”
that made it through? Awesome whoever did that one!

Oh and whoever did Squeaky Fromme – I was just about to use that name!

And guys… I think it might be unmoderated again! My latest comment got approved with NO delay this time! http://www.defendglenn.com/support_wall.php? Have at it!

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=387167]Redhead[/re]: I think you’re right. I’ve gotten thru and stuck with Lou Dobbs, Squeaky Frome, and Billy Mays. Game on!

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=387069]ShamWow[/re]: I think it’s great, that here in America, Mai Qoc has a voice!

Downtheroadapiece August 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=387167]Redhead[/re]: Off to dinner I suspect. Let’s give them a lot to chew on when they get back to work!

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Jesus will come down from the clouds to restore all of the lost advertizers, and, as punishment for the rest of us, he will force us to watch the Glen Beck Show daily. That is what I call hell.

smashtheduck August 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=387143]Baconcat[/re]: No. No, they don’t.
And thank you David from Brooklyn in da house! Let’s see if they notice Timmy McVeigh.

smashtheduck August 14, 2009 at 6:24 pm

They caught Carradine but Michael Hutchence lives on!

iburl August 14, 2009 at 6:26 pm

1. America Is Good (except that a majority of voters, congressmen, and the president are all Socialist NAZIS!!!)
2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life (That’s why I listen to his voice when he says to take a gun to a city council meeting)
3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday (Because yesterday I was a marriage vow ignoring SOB)
4. The family is sacred (Except the wife, my new soul mate, the dude in the next bathroom stall understands me better)
5. If you break the law you pay the penalty (Except for Republicans)
6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results (because somebody told me that there is some national equal result guarantee somewhere in the secret book of socialism that the Keynan Hussein has written in goat’s blood)
7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with whom I want to (Like my hookers)
8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion (and the louder and stupider I am, the more American I become)
9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me. (Which is why I am immune to all law and why I treat public servants with the scorn and violent hate-filled derision that most normal people would reserve for the rapist of their children)

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 6:26 pm

“Barry Sargento, ,
Attention: Every single one of your email addresses have been captured and saved on The Beast. Please swab your forearms with alcohol in preperation of Federal Identification Tatoos. Do not be alarmed. Thank you to Mr Beck for helping us pull this off. ”

You are a sick and hilarious person, who ever you be!

smashtheduck August 14, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Whoever this is….you are a great amurkin!

Ebenezer Redneckerson, Choctaw, Mississippi
Its is reasonable that I would write in support of Glen Beck, because I am from the state of Mississippi. This comment, therefore, should not appear odd at all.

user-of-owls August 14, 2009 at 6:28 pm

[re=386963]dave666[/re]:
Shaynette Baxter, Appleton, WI
Thank you Mr. Beck for all you do! You are a shining star to our voice. :)

Oh, Shaynette (?), Ms. Laura from another thread will be perturbed.

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Lee Vitracialis, Sparkton, Georgia
Keep it up!!!

I JUST got this one. I suspect that might survive.

Junior August 14, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Jay Effington, Dallas, TX

Hey Glen – I don’t care if your a gay or not. But Jesus does!

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=387188]smashtheduck[/re]: Guilty!

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=387191]Baconcat[/re]: Guilty again…this shit is just too much fun…

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Damn it! They removed Mai Qoc! Well, at least Mai Qoc’s comments! Fascists!

NopantsMcGee August 14, 2009 at 6:35 pm

[re=387185]problemwithcaring[/re]: Aw, tankubeddymuch.

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 6:36 pm

[re=387195]problemwithcaring[/re]: good work!

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 6:38 pm

Exhausted Moderator, ,
Come on guys, slow down! My 486 isn’t fast enough to keep up with all the vandalism.

Redhead August 14, 2009 at 6:38 pm

[re=387200]masterdebater[/re]: Yet they let this one through:

“FBI None of your business, that’s confidential, classified
Squeaky Fromme has been tracked to this sight. We believe Beck may be her next target. If you are not Fromme, please post your name and address now so we can cross you off our list. Thank you.”

Fox n Fiends August 14, 2009 at 6:39 pm

Where are my first amendment rights?????

NopantsMcGee August 14, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Exhausted Moderator, ,
Come on guys, slow down! My 486 isn’t fast enough to keep up with all the vandalism.

ha!

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 6:41 pm

i can’t understand why they never posted my comment about how i have listened to GB since he was on the radio, and will be a fan long after the sponsors are gone and he is broadcasting via the internet. what’s wrong with that?

Downtheroadapiece August 14, 2009 at 6:41 pm

Guys, this is so infantile.

Keep up the good work.

Baconcat August 14, 2009 at 6:45 pm

Steven Patrick Morrissey, ,
Glenn, in your life, why do you give valuable time to people who don’t care if you live or die?

Priceless!

orange August 14, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=387217]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: txs

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 6:51 pm

The soldiers from the My Lai massacre are well represented.

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 6:52 pm

” DBag McWirley, Harrisburg, PA
Glenn I want to stand behind you all the way and ram the message home”

LMAO!!!

scubaix August 14, 2009 at 6:53 pm

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday?

Honesty and dishonesty are binary states. So are we supposed to believe this is some kind of magic “platform” existing outside the laws of physics? I hope someone got fired for that one.

davesnothere August 14, 2009 at 6:55 pm

My wife is after me to get a job on one of these death panels – anybody know where I can pick up an application?

grendel August 14, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Constance Forbearance, Biloxi, Mo
I must object to Prudie Liverspoon’s use of the derogative term “nutbag”. “Nutbag” is not a fit word for Christian consumption and it leaves a bitter taste in ones mouth. Rest assured I will not be signing any wall that does not use the Jesus approved term ‘nad-basket’.

Whoever wrote this is my new hero…

NopantsMcGee August 14, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=387254]grendel[/re]: Whoever wrote this is my new hero…

That’s a lot of responsibilty on my part. But, thx.

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 7:02 pm

Sauna Biesch, Newark, NJ
Hang in there Glen! Remember when they pointed out that Sarah Palin was stupid, and that George Bush would probably speak better if someone would just go ahead and stick their hand up his back! You are just as smart as they are! And you speak as well too!

LMAO!!!

frailamerica August 14, 2009 at 7:06 pm

Steven Patrick Morrissey, ,
Glenn, in your life, why do you give valuable time to people who don’t care if you live or die?

Excellent.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 7:08 pm

jonas brothers ringtones lol

Jukesgrrl August 14, 2009 at 7:10 pm

“The signature page was made private due to an attempt by certain groups to disrupt our petition drive. Rest assured, the support for Glenn Beck is over-whelming and the impact will be great! Thanks for your time and help.”

Oh, poop. Shock and awe from the Wonketteers!

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 7:11 pm

Teli Mundo, Santa Ana, Ca
Mr Beck, senor? If I go back to Mexico, who will mow your lawn? Oh, and could you pay me please, it’s almost back to school time.

ericstoltz August 14, 2009 at 7:16 pm

So I posted these and they’ve survived well over an hour. Apparently the moderator does not consider these offensive:

Josh Weston, America,
Glenn, you rock! If these commies want health care, let them go tio Iraq and kill a few Mohammedans first. Support our troops!

Roy Cohn, America, Mississippi
Thank the Lord almighty we have Glenn to save us from the gays and the muslins and commies and all those librals who want to destroy the real america.

scubaix August 14, 2009 at 7:26 pm

P. Elvis Batt, Dustbowl, Kansas
I don’t care that you were birthed rectally and fully intact by something that ate 250 pounds of eggplant and paste…and I don’t know how to end that sentence.

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 7:28 pm

[re=387299]scubaix[/re]: that one made me cry from laughter, thank you to whoever you are!

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 7:37 pm

“Lee Oswald, Dallas, TX
Hang in there Glen! I think we both know that if we are going to save this nation, we have to do whatever it takes. Ya make an omelet, ya break some eggs. Am I right?”

Too much?

trondant August 14, 2009 at 7:38 pm

How did that fucker know to delete mine?:

Jeff Gannon, Washington, D.C.
Stay strong, Glenn. If you need help getting a grip, give me a call.

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 7:40 pm

Pedo Bear, ,
Hello BFF.

OK, you all are just stupid for this – I’m dying!

orange August 14, 2009 at 7:44 pm

[re=387310]problemwithcaring[/re]: I am having fun. This one has been up there forever, and will probably remain: Nathan Forrest, Chapel Hill, TN
I salute you!…

MGBYG August 14, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=387299]scubaix[/re]: yeah, sometimes ‘paste’ just has a way to round up your thought.

WadISay August 14, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Dear Glen: Until my parents left me in front of the TV with your show on, I was reading at a 4th grade level. Trig Palin

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 8:03 pm

——————————————————————————–

LisaMarie Presley, Memphis, TN
I never use Sargento’s anyway. I suspect they had something to do with my dad’s death. And Obama. I will never use negro spaghetti sause.
——————————————————————————–

OK, it’s not fair to Lisa Marie, but come on…they let this through, but not my invitation to the Pahrump brothel from Rynga Fyre? That’s just crazy!

dave666 August 14, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Summers Eve, DisposableDouche, IA
The right advertisers will come. Douche & stool softeners, just like u

Carl Spakler August 14, 2009 at 8:06 pm

It’s stuff like this that makes little baby Jesus cry. I hope you’re all happy now.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 8:09 pm

it’s weird how the postings aren’t in any discernible order–they seem to move around.

dementor August 14, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Who can take a bow for this one?

John W. Booth, ,
Today we are all failed theatrical performers seeking to destablize the country we claim to love in misguided attempt at self-promotion. 100% !!!!!!!!111!!!!!!

[re=387335]masterdebater[/re]: yes, you made it. I think there’s a short delay now.

Country Club Jihadi August 14, 2009 at 8:15 pm

[re=387336]dave666[/re]: That was me!

smashtheduck August 14, 2009 at 8:19 pm

[re=387349]dementor[/re]: Guilty. It’s okay as ling as I hate myself a little for it right?

ShamWow August 14, 2009 at 8:20 pm

[re=387347]Death Panel Wagon[/re]: Glenn Beck and his ilk don’t believe in commie alphabets or arabic numerals.

smashtheduck August 14, 2009 at 8:21 pm

[re=387349]dementor[/re]: Ahhh shit, took credit for the wrong one. Sorry dementor.

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 8:23 pm

[re=387349]dementor[/re]: That was me! Smash can take credit though. I prefer my Mark Stern – still on after 2 1/2 hours!

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 8:25 pm

It is a special tribute to wingers everywhere that they can’t spot a post from Lee Oswald, Dallas, TX. And the say conservatives are dumb!

smashtheduck August 14, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=387361]problemwithcaring[/re]: Nathan Forrest evidently doesn’t ring any bells either. Who knew?

problemwithcaring August 14, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=387363]smashtheduck[/re]: Yes. But my Johnan Kateplusay – deleted after five minutes. Go figure.

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 8:33 pm

John McCain, ,
I went without healthcare for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS

Brings the lulz

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 8:34 pm
dementor August 14, 2009 at 8:41 pm

[re=387362]masterdebater[/re]: Other celebrities that have stopped by and still linger include Peter Sutcliffe, John McCain, Lewis Carroll, Dave Vitter, Scott Fitzgerald, Steven Tyler, Ben(jamin) Dover, D. Sanchez, and many others.

dementor August 14, 2009 at 8:59 pm

Et tu, Wonketter?

Mark Anthony, Rome, NY
Tyranny be made of sterner stuff! And Beck says Obama’s a tyrant. And Beck is an honorable man!

superfecta August 14, 2009 at 9:46 pm

[re=387143]Baconcat[/re]: I had a friend named Nate Forrest – yes, he was a relation – but apparently his parents weren’t actually racists. It seems he was named after the Famous Person in the family, but no one in the family knew why he was famous. Whoops!

ScubaDew August 14, 2009 at 9:57 pm

I didn’t think this would last long but I posted it anyways:

Timmy McVeigh, Oklahoma City, OK
Glenn, even I think you’re crazy. Please commit yourself before you do harm to yourself or others.

ScubaDew August 14, 2009 at 9:59 pm

Oh, and this one:

Lee Oswald, Dallas, Texas
People like you inspire me, Glenn! We should have a beer sometime!

(I know, I know, these aren’t as clever as most of the others, but screw it, I’m tired.)

Barrett808 August 14, 2009 at 10:00 pm

It looks like the mod has given up or gone to bed (in Mom’s basement, natch).

crankypants August 14, 2009 at 10:17 pm

Once the sponsors are gone, the hookers and blow can’t be far behind.

frailamerica August 14, 2009 at 11:09 pm

Peter North, Los Angeles, CA
I come to you defense!! They should back off!!

Real?

snideinplainsight August 14, 2009 at 11:17 pm

Liften Saparate, Hooterville, DD
Thank you for supporting the Constitution Glen!! And for pushing it up, and together, and providing just the right amount of coverage, and soft, lined cups with straps that stay put! the Constitution!!!

NYNYNY August 14, 2009 at 11:29 pm

Screw you! Post, don’t post, post, don’t post. I left a comment, why is everything on the petition blank?

bignutz2 August 14, 2009 at 11:42 pm

This is epic.

lilly August 15, 2009 at 1:22 am

Glenn Beck is a tool! and so are all these irrational freaks. they are the ones that would benefit from obamas health plan. they just want to sit at home and watch Glenn Beck and eat their deep fried twinkies and yell at the damn T.V. and black people instead of actually reading something for themselves. Evolution should have weeded them out a long time ago.

ShortShadey August 15, 2009 at 2:01 am

For one brief shining moment:

2651: K. Olbermann. “Glenn Beck is Cialis for the mind!”

Should have done a screenshot while I had the chance…

masterdebater August 15, 2009 at 3:35 am

Now surely, this is over the line:

Michele Bachmann, Tweenyerneeze, WY
I support you so much, Glen! I’m comin’ over to suck you off right now!

What? No?….k

desertwind August 15, 2009 at 3:54 am

I’m confused about something but, you know, too lazy to Google it myself (ie don’t care that much), so Wonkers I throw my question to you:

NYT story on Glenn Beck describes him as blah-blah-radio-blah and “comedian”. In what respect is he a “comedian”? Was he in some sitcom or movie I missed? Standup? “Humor” newspaper columnist? Writer?

Because, frankly, he may be a clown, but I can’t see the humor.

masterdebater August 15, 2009 at 4:19 am

[re=387516]desertwind[/re]: I think I see the problem. You see, republicans are allowed to call themselves whatever they like, and there is no requirement that it actually be true. Sort of like claiming George Bush is really smart, but he just acts like a hick to fire up the base. Doesn’t say much for the base, but, well, WTF. The real problem here is you aren’t supposed to question their credentials, because that is what they call an ad hominem attack. Not very sporting of you, you see. It’s OK though, you’re amoung friends.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith August 15, 2009 at 6:12 am

My contribution as Pussylips Jackson from Teapot GA : “Hey GLeen, I watch your show everyday afore I turn it to the TBN to PRAISE TEH LORD!! You kno you is doink somting rite when theese jews and fagits come on hear hollerin! GO BACK TO AFROCA NOBAMO!”

FMA August 15, 2009 at 9:19 am

This is why we can never have anything nice.

Death Panel Wagon August 15, 2009 at 12:19 pm

hmm, well I awoke this morning to review the battlefield, and saw that “eurippides traussers,” of huntsville AL, witness of fema camps being constructed on oil rigs, did not make the cut.

However “steve erwin,” of Tupelo, MS is still alive and kicking and wanting to bend over nobama.

There are lots of nice little pieces of poo strewn all over that wall, good job guys! And whoever you are, Todd Riney, you deserve the most special present of all.

Mahousu August 15, 2009 at 2:12 pm

[re=387559]FMA[/re]: Nice things are overrated.

I’ve got a few on http://www.defendglenn.com/support_wall.php that haven’t been deleted yet. I went with ALL CAPS for authenticity.

nutcracker August 15, 2009 at 2:14 pm

I’m happy to report that my long nightmare of unemployment is about to come to an end. I have been informed by the White House that once health care reform passes I will be leading one of the death panels. Pay will not be at the usual government scale but will be success-based. For each oldster quietly eliminated I will have $15k deposited in my Caymans bank account. More proof that America is still the land of opportunity.

Downtheroadapiece August 15, 2009 at 2:41 pm

I would just like to reiterate my undying love for you all. You all are hired to come over to my family’s for thanksgiving and continue the asshat baiting on my old man. Oh the fun we’ll have!

KenYankee August 15, 2009 at 5:08 pm

“I went with ALL CAPS for authenticity.”

Simply brilliant.

drpangloss August 15, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=386926]widget09[/re]: Nice. I’ve already got my boots on can we hammer the Queers now, our Lord Beck the SausageMeister(the younger) commands it!

Johnny Zhivago August 15, 2009 at 7:41 pm

I CAN’T BELIEVE THE LIBERALS WANT TO CENSUR GLENN BECK OF ALL PEOPLE. WE LOVE THE GUY, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DOES LINEMAN FOR THE COUNTY AND GALVESTON. THANKS VERY MUCH.

President ODreamy August 15, 2009 at 9:02 pm

It won’t let me sign. Why won’t it let me sign???

President ODreamy August 15, 2009 at 9:09 pm

Success!

Mike Litoris: “I keep trying to sign this petition and register my support for people who boycott people who boycott the companies that boycott Glenn Beck. What about *my* freedom of speech, huh? Cheesy? Take that, Sargento!”

Ye Olde Fap-Smith August 15, 2009 at 9:42 pm

My Johnny “Booger” Forbes from Pigeon Forge slipped by the censor : “If it weren’t for you and the Nascar I wouldn’t watch any of the so called entrainment on teevee. God bless you and keep fightin’ these goddamn’ commnists!!!1!” Not one of my best but at least “Booger” survived the purge.

Barrett808 August 15, 2009 at 10:49 pm

Reminder, the new action is here:
http://www.defendglenn.com/support_wall.php

IgnatiusReilly August 15, 2009 at 11:18 pm

I see Steven Tyler is still urging Beck to teach people the walk, Ann Jobs volunteers “I am here to keep Glenn growing strong.” and “Thnaks [Glenn] for all you do!” and as for me, I am still upset that “Mary Smutnick” from “Pomfret” has not been caught by the censors. Glenn needs our support now more than ever.

Johnny Zhivago August 15, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Car insurance is a communist, socialist program anyway. Arguments following an accident should be handled with guns, not lawyers.

bokonon August 15, 2009 at 11:43 pm

Cotton Mather, Salem, MA
I have had some problems with Proctor and Gamble in the past you know. They will feel some heat for this. Keep the faith Glenn.

what do you think … real?

Downtheroadapiece August 16, 2009 at 12:30 am

Val Trecks in SF. Golden. Just golden. Someone gets a cookie for that one.

showmeonthedoll August 16, 2009 at 1:24 am

Regarding the defendglenn.com hijinks:

“DefendGlenn Moderator, ,
NOTE TO BECK HATERS:We are actually TRYING to keep your comments on this wall, so Beck fans may try and refute them. Unfotunately, out of the 1,275 posts by Beck-haters, only 5 did NOTcontain obscenities, death threats, crude descriptions of genitalia, or sick pedophilic fantasies. It is remarkable how immature you liberals are in a public forum. I wish I could show people just HOW childish, but this is a family site!”

It would seem that comments such as “fuck you” and “go fuck yourself” can be misconstrued as a pedophilic fantasies because Glenn Beck is not just childishly immature, he is in some freakish way, an actual child.

Please make a note of this.

And carry on.

showmeonthedoll August 16, 2009 at 1:38 am

I’m bummed that Morrissey and Cotton Mather were axed.

thehelveticascenario August 16, 2009 at 10:24 am

Good to see Art Vandelay and Bob Loblaw are still up there.

nader paul kucinich gravel August 16, 2009 at 11:04 am

(((War Blogin’ Beck)))
Forced Week Vacation
Salt Lake City…

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 16, 2009 at 11:11 am

“Ann L. Feshire,” I salute you!

Downtheroadapiece August 16, 2009 at 11:43 am

Hehehe. They’ve erred in judgement and opened it back up.
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/SupportGlennBeck/index.html

canadians for pussy August 16, 2009 at 2:43 pm

i see clifford olsen is still up. canadians and followers of mass murders will know.

Sick Puppy August 16, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I tried to sign the petition (as Helen Bach) but it said someone had signed the petition from my computer. !!!

ScubaDew August 16, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Randy Johnson, Helena, Montana
Would you liberals get off our site already?! Just because you guys have the right to free speech doesn’t mean we’re obligated to support it on our site! God, the cluelessness of some people!

Too subtle?

Downtheroadapiece August 16, 2009 at 6:28 pm

[re=387750]canadians for pussy[/re]: Mass murderers of all ilks enjoy the Beck program. Canada, Los Angeles, UK, they’re all represented.

Athar August 16, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Last week on his radio program Beck reminded his tea-partying followers that:

“We aren’t just saving the country for ourselves, we’re saving it for ‘Him.’ This isn’t just our country, it’s ‘His’ country.”

I think by ‘Him’ Glenn must have meant either Rupert Murdoch, or Jesus. Either way, I guess we are now officially owned by some super-human, foreign power.

frailamerica August 16, 2009 at 11:48 pm

I post as Arthur Jensen, from Network, and it gets deleted but this is still there!?

Adolf Hitler, Fuhrerbunker, Berlin
Glenn, you and I share core values everyone should hold dear. Keep fighting the good fight!

as.the.world.burns August 17, 2009 at 6:54 am

‘nathan explosion’ didn’t get through, but ‘don black’ did………….

Don Black, Athens, AL
Keep up the good work, Glenn. Together, we can take our country back. White Pride World Wide!

too much ?

freerangemink August 17, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=387100]Baconcat[/re]: jesus christ!

WillV August 17, 2009 at 6:58 pm

“Earl Turner”

Glenn, you say everything I’d like to say and do it better. Every night, I write your quotes in my diary.

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