Suddenly in America it is *illegal* to offer words of support for popular American television hosts such as Glenn Beck. This is not your grandfather’s American Internet anymore, people. (Anyway, time to stop signing it!) [Support Glenn Beck and His Values and Principles]

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  1. For a guy who is supposedly SOOOOOOOOO Popular and EVERYONE Watches the geniuz of Bekc (sic), support for “The Fat Racist Queer-Sandwich Hour With Glenn Beck” is only some 2K signatures in a 1/2 hour.

  2. [re=386936]ManchuCandidate[/re]: yeah, and who signs a fucking petition as “anonymous” anyway? not someone who believes in freeze peach, that’s for sure!

  3. How does one start a Wonkette petition? I would like to start a petition to have Glenn Beck’s balls bronzed, to preserve them for future generations of us “real” Americans. Preferably while he is still attached to them.


  4. [re=386931]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think my favorite is the audience looking bored as hell as Brad Paisley plays at some country music appreciation night. Also the Camp David basketball game, if only because it seems that there are children playing as well. What I wouldn’t give to see Obama block an 8-year-old’s shot back into his face.

  5. “Glenn Beck told me that Obama was going to rape and choke my grandmother. I don’t think Long John Silvers should stop paying him, fi they do my grandmother will get rape choked. “

  6. funniest comment on a support petition evar………………… “Ann Breshe, Ashtabula, OHIO
    I told my pastor we should watch Glenn at the next service. He said No. I’m not going to that church anymore”

  7. Beck is heading for a major meltdown. He will slash his own throat with a razor and/or slice his own dick off all the while screaming about communist negroes from outer space. He must be kept on the air so we can all see this live. Show your support now.

  8. [re=386960]doxastic[/re]: That’s a good one. Malia’s all “When the fuck can we stop pandering to the bubbas and get, like, Mos Def* up in here?”

    *Or the Jonas Brothers or whatever…WTF do I know about “kids today”….

  9. [re=386963]dave666[/re]: “Baracktheislamicshock Husseinsuperallah, Mecca, Kenya
    Ha ha i wuz borned in Eritrea not Kenya suckaz.”


  10. @assistant/atlas: Surely the kids today are still into Styx and U2, right? Those guys are timeless, as was everything from 1983, when I was 13.

  11. [re=386963]dave666[/re]: [re=387005]shypixel2[/re]: The entertainment at seems to be over because they delete unsupportive comments shortly after posting, BUT

    Clearly we are keeping someone there very busy eliminating the comments as they are posted, so keep those comments coming. I feel all warm inside just knowing that we are annoying the s**t out of even one Glenntard, especially on a Friday, when the poor guy/girl probably just wants to go home and drink a coors light.

  12. [re=387006]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: same here. although I am finding out via facebook that the girl I was so in love with back in 1983 at the age of 13 isn’t as cute as she used to be. Victory is mine!

  13. [re=387014]bureaucrap[/re]:

    “I feel all warm inside just knowing that we are annoying the s**t out of even one Glenntard, especially on a Friday, when the poor guy probably just wants to go home to his mom’s basement and wank off to pictures of underage crippled girls strangling black kittens with their bare hands.”


  14. [re=387014]bureaucrap[/re]: I would be absolutely astonished to find out that someone was actually getting paid to do that job. And I don’t count disability/unemployment/SS, or any other commie handout invented by hitler in kenya for the mooninites.

  15. First they came after Glen Beck, and I did nothing, because…well, I hate Glen Beck. Next they came after hard working Americans, and I did nothing, because, fuck it…I’m retired! But then they came after my comments, and deleted them…then it was too late for America Americans to salvage their freedoms. Damn it!

  16. [re=387014]bureaucrap[/re]: Bah! I’ve always wanted to visit Bloodorange. I here it’s lovely in the summers.

    Crack editorial staff they’ve got there.

  17. [re=386963]dave666[/re]: hehehehe

    “Hans Indepans, deer park, texas
    Glen was right! Barak Hussein IS a racist! He could’ve been born white but he CHOSE NOT TO! Why does he hate white people be choosing to be BLACK? “

  18. HAHAHA! That support Glenn Beck site has deleted most of Wonkette’s post, but has left up “Rusty Shackleford’s” post. Apparently they can’t tell the difference between their own nutbag supporters and Dale Gribble.


  19. [re=387046]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: We should try to put up weird, vaguely supportive comments, and see if they get through. Let’s make that petition funky. Uncomfortably funky.

  20. and omg, whoever put up this one:

    David Carradine, Hollywood, CA
    Hang in there, Glenn!

    I think I soiled myself. well, I soiled myself a little more, anyway.

  21. Tried to post “Glenn – love the way you stuck it to those libruls! and the way you were all over those teabaggers! u really took it from them, hard at times, but I know u really like it. keep taking it from em, no matter how hard they make it!” but they deleted it. :(

  22. [re=387053]problemwithcaring[/re]: Yes. But only if we can do it in my grandpappy’s living room. We’ll do it right betwixt his collection of souvenir Elvis plates and autographed Glenn Beck picture. You are a god fearing Christian ain’t ya?

  23. [re=387076]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Well I figured this might be more subtle: “Keep your head high, man. No matter what they throw at you, no matter how hard they make it, you can take it. Just remember to keep a stiff upper lip and it’ll all be over soon. Just don’t think about it, just suck it up and deal with it.”
    But I think they caught on to that one too. Boooooo. Buncha no-fun pussies.

  24. Oh my god,


    S t e p h e n H a w k i n g, O x f o r d, U K
    T h a n k y o u f o r f i g h t i n g a g a i n s t s o c i a l i z e d m e d i c i n e. I f I h a d i t I w o u l d b e d e a d t o d a y.

  25. [re=387077]The Little Rock[/re]: god fearing Christian? Of course. That’s why I asked to marry you before I asked you to let me piss on your face. What kinda whore do you think I am?

  26. This stuff almost (almost) makes Beck’s existence on this plane tolerable. Almost. Thanks StephenHawking and Michael Vick, (two names I never thought I’d be putting in the same sentence) wherever you are.

  27. Nathan Forrest, Chapel Hill, TN
    I salute you!…

    Balkie Bartakamous, ,
    Pay for my cousin’s healthcare? Don’t be ridiculous!

    both been up for a while. Maybe they don’t know they’re jokes?

  28. [re=387108]problemwithcaring[/re]: Lucky day! If you are truly as polite as you are filthy we shall be wed within the fortnight. I’ll say a prayer to Jesus tonight to ask that he give me divine providence when picking your wedding night sex toys.

  29. “Truck Nutz, Bakersfield, CA
    You need psychiatric care, Glenn. GTFO my TV.”
    that made it through? Awesome whoever did that one!

    Oh and whoever did Squeaky Fromme – I was just about to use that name!

    And guys… I think it might be unmoderated again! My latest comment got approved with NO delay this time! Have at it!

  30. Jesus will come down from the clouds to restore all of the lost advertizers, and, as punishment for the rest of us, he will force us to watch the Glen Beck Show daily. That is what I call hell.

  31. [re=387143]Baconcat[/re]: No. No, they don’t.
    And thank you David from Brooklyn in da house! Let’s see if they notice Timmy McVeigh.

  32. 1. America Is Good (except that a majority of voters, congressmen, and the president are all Socialist NAZIS!!!)
    2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life (That’s why I listen to his voice when he says to take a gun to a city council meeting)
    3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday (Because yesterday I was a marriage vow ignoring SOB)
    4. The family is sacred (Except the wife, my new soul mate, the dude in the next bathroom stall understands me better)
    5. If you break the law you pay the penalty (Except for Republicans)
    6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results (because somebody told me that there is some national equal result guarantee somewhere in the secret book of socialism that the Keynan Hussein has written in goat’s blood)
    7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with whom I want to (Like my hookers)
    8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion (and the louder and stupider I am, the more American I become)
    9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me. (Which is why I am immune to all law and why I treat public servants with the scorn and violent hate-filled derision that most normal people would reserve for the rapist of their children)

  33. “Barry Sargento, ,
    Attention: Every single one of your email addresses have been captured and saved on The Beast. Please swab your forearms with alcohol in preperation of Federal Identification Tatoos. Do not be alarmed. Thank you to Mr Beck for helping us pull this off. ”

    You are a sick and hilarious person, who ever you be!

  34. Whoever this is….you are a great amurkin!

    Ebenezer Redneckerson, Choctaw, Mississippi
    Its is reasonable that I would write in support of Glen Beck, because I am from the state of Mississippi. This comment, therefore, should not appear odd at all.

  35. [re=386963]dave666[/re]:
    Shaynette Baxter, Appleton, WI
    Thank you Mr. Beck for all you do! You are a shining star to our voice. :)

    Oh, Shaynette (?), Ms. Laura from another thread will be perturbed.

  36. [re=387200]masterdebater[/re]: Yet they let this one through:

    “FBI None of your business, that’s confidential, classified
    Squeaky Fromme has been tracked to this sight. We believe Beck may be her next target. If you are not Fromme, please post your name and address now so we can cross you off our list. Thank you.”

  37. i can’t understand why they never posted my comment about how i have listened to GB since he was on the radio, and will be a fan long after the sponsors are gone and he is broadcasting via the internet. what’s wrong with that?

  38. 3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday?

    Honesty and dishonesty are binary states. So are we supposed to believe this is some kind of magic “platform” existing outside the laws of physics? I hope someone got fired for that one.

  39. Constance Forbearance, Biloxi, Mo
    I must object to Prudie Liverspoon’s use of the derogative term “nutbag”. “Nutbag” is not a fit word for Christian consumption and it leaves a bitter taste in ones mouth. Rest assured I will not be signing any wall that does not use the Jesus approved term ‘nad-basket’.

    Whoever wrote this is my new hero…

  40. Sauna Biesch, Newark, NJ
    Hang in there Glen! Remember when they pointed out that Sarah Palin was stupid, and that George Bush would probably speak better if someone would just go ahead and stick their hand up his back! You are just as smart as they are! And you speak as well too!


  41. Steven Patrick Morrissey, ,
    Glenn, in your life, why do you give valuable time to people who don’t care if you live or die?


  42. “The signature page was made private due to an attempt by certain groups to disrupt our petition drive. Rest assured, the support for Glenn Beck is over-whelming and the impact will be great! Thanks for your time and help.”

    Oh, poop. Shock and awe from the Wonketteers!

  43. Teli Mundo, Santa Ana, Ca
    Mr Beck, senor? If I go back to Mexico, who will mow your lawn? Oh, and could you pay me please, it’s almost back to school time.

  44. So I posted these and they’ve survived well over an hour. Apparently the moderator does not consider these offensive:

    Josh Weston, America,
    Glenn, you rock! If these commies want health care, let them go tio Iraq and kill a few Mohammedans first. Support our troops!

    Roy Cohn, America, Mississippi
    Thank the Lord almighty we have Glenn to save us from the gays and the muslins and commies and all those librals who want to destroy the real america.

  45. P. Elvis Batt, Dustbowl, Kansas
    I don’t care that you were birthed rectally and fully intact by something that ate 250 pounds of eggplant and paste…and I don’t know how to end that sentence.

  46. “Lee Oswald, Dallas, TX
    Hang in there Glen! I think we both know that if we are going to save this nation, we have to do whatever it takes. Ya make an omelet, ya break some eggs. Am I right?”

    Too much?

  47. How did that fucker know to delete mine?:

    Jeff Gannon, Washington, D.C.
    Stay strong, Glenn. If you need help getting a grip, give me a call.

  48. [re=387310]problemwithcaring[/re]: I am having fun. This one has been up there forever, and will probably remain: Nathan Forrest, Chapel Hill, TN
    I salute you!…

  49. ——————————————————————————–

    LisaMarie Presley, Memphis, TN
    I never use Sargento’s anyway. I suspect they had something to do with my dad’s death. And Obama. I will never use negro spaghetti sause.

    OK, it’s not fair to Lisa Marie, but come on…they let this through, but not my invitation to the Pahrump brothel from Rynga Fyre? That’s just crazy!

  50. Who can take a bow for this one?

    John W. Booth, ,
    Today we are all failed theatrical performers seeking to destablize the country we claim to love in misguided attempt at self-promotion. 100% !!!!!!!!111!!!!!!

    [re=387335]masterdebater[/re]: yes, you made it. I think there’s a short delay now.

  51. It is a special tribute to wingers everywhere that they can’t spot a post from Lee Oswald, Dallas, TX. And the say conservatives are dumb!

  52. [re=387362]masterdebater[/re]: Other celebrities that have stopped by and still linger include Peter Sutcliffe, John McCain, Lewis Carroll, Dave Vitter, Scott Fitzgerald, Steven Tyler, Ben(jamin) Dover, D. Sanchez, and many others.

  53. Et tu, Wonketter?

    Mark Anthony, Rome, NY
    Tyranny be made of sterner stuff! And Beck says Obama’s a tyrant. And Beck is an honorable man!

  54. [re=387143]Baconcat[/re]: I had a friend named Nate Forrest – yes, he was a relation – but apparently his parents weren’t actually racists. It seems he was named after the Famous Person in the family, but no one in the family knew why he was famous. Whoops!

  55. I didn’t think this would last long but I posted it anyways:

    Timmy McVeigh, Oklahoma City, OK
    Glenn, even I think you’re crazy. Please commit yourself before you do harm to yourself or others.

  56. Oh, and this one:

    Lee Oswald, Dallas, Texas
    People like you inspire me, Glenn! We should have a beer sometime!

    (I know, I know, these aren’t as clever as most of the others, but screw it, I’m tired.)

  57. Liften Saparate, Hooterville, DD
    Thank you for supporting the Constitution Glen!! And for pushing it up, and together, and providing just the right amount of coverage, and soft, lined cups with straps that stay put! the Constitution!!!

  58. Glenn Beck is a tool! and so are all these irrational freaks. they are the ones that would benefit from obamas health plan. they just want to sit at home and watch Glenn Beck and eat their deep fried twinkies and yell at the damn T.V. and black people instead of actually reading something for themselves. Evolution should have weeded them out a long time ago.

  59. For one brief shining moment:

    2651: K. Olbermann. “Glenn Beck is Cialis for the mind!”

    Should have done a screenshot while I had the chance…

  60. Now surely, this is over the line:

    Michele Bachmann, Tweenyerneeze, WY
    I support you so much, Glen! I’m comin’ over to suck you off right now!

    What? No?….k

  61. I’m confused about something but, you know, too lazy to Google it myself (ie don’t care that much), so Wonkers I throw my question to you:

    NYT story on Glenn Beck describes him as blah-blah-radio-blah and “comedian”. In what respect is he a “comedian”? Was he in some sitcom or movie I missed? Standup? “Humor” newspaper columnist? Writer?

    Because, frankly, he may be a clown, but I can’t see the humor.

  62. [re=387516]desertwind[/re]: I think I see the problem. You see, republicans are allowed to call themselves whatever they like, and there is no requirement that it actually be true. Sort of like claiming George Bush is really smart, but he just acts like a hick to fire up the base. Doesn’t say much for the base, but, well, WTF. The real problem here is you aren’t supposed to question their credentials, because that is what they call an ad hominem attack. Not very sporting of you, you see. It’s OK though, you’re amoung friends.

  63. My contribution as Pussylips Jackson from Teapot GA : “Hey GLeen, I watch your show everyday afore I turn it to the TBN to PRAISE TEH LORD!! You kno you is doink somting rite when theese jews and fagits come on hear hollerin! GO BACK TO AFROCA NOBAMO!”

  64. hmm, well I awoke this morning to review the battlefield, and saw that “eurippides traussers,” of huntsville AL, witness of fema camps being constructed on oil rigs, did not make the cut.

    However “steve erwin,” of Tupelo, MS is still alive and kicking and wanting to bend over nobama.

    There are lots of nice little pieces of poo strewn all over that wall, good job guys! And whoever you are, Todd Riney, you deserve the most special present of all.

  65. I’m happy to report that my long nightmare of unemployment is about to come to an end. I have been informed by the White House that once health care reform passes I will be leading one of the death panels. Pay will not be at the usual government scale but will be success-based. For each oldster quietly eliminated I will have $15k deposited in my Caymans bank account. More proof that America is still the land of opportunity.

  66. I would just like to reiterate my undying love for you all. You all are hired to come over to my family’s for thanksgiving and continue the asshat baiting on my old man. Oh the fun we’ll have!

  67. [re=386926]widget09[/re]: Nice. I’ve already got my boots on can we hammer the Queers now, our Lord Beck the SausageMeister(the younger) commands it!


  69. Success!

    Mike Litoris: “I keep trying to sign this petition and register my support for people who boycott people who boycott the companies that boycott Glenn Beck. What about *my* freedom of speech, huh? Cheesy? Take that, Sargento!”

  70. My Johnny “Booger” Forbes from Pigeon Forge slipped by the censor : “If it weren’t for you and the Nascar I wouldn’t watch any of the so called entrainment on teevee. God bless you and keep fightin’ these goddamn’ commnists!!!1!” Not one of my best but at least “Booger” survived the purge.

  71. I see Steven Tyler is still urging Beck to teach people the walk, Ann Jobs volunteers “I am here to keep Glenn growing strong.” and “Thnaks [Glenn] for all you do!” and as for me, I am still upset that “Mary Smutnick” from “Pomfret” has not been caught by the censors. Glenn needs our support now more than ever.

  72. Cotton Mather, Salem, MA
    I have had some problems with Proctor and Gamble in the past you know. They will feel some heat for this. Keep the faith Glenn.

    what do you think … real?

  73. Regarding the hijinks:

    “DefendGlenn Moderator, ,
    NOTE TO BECK HATERS:We are actually TRYING to keep your comments on this wall, so Beck fans may try and refute them. Unfotunately, out of the 1,275 posts by Beck-haters, only 5 did NOTcontain obscenities, death threats, crude descriptions of genitalia, or sick pedophilic fantasies. It is remarkable how immature you liberals are in a public forum. I wish I could show people just HOW childish, but this is a family site!”

    It would seem that comments such as “fuck you” and “go fuck yourself” can be misconstrued as a pedophilic fantasies because Glenn Beck is not just childishly immature, he is in some freakish way, an actual child.

    Please make a note of this.

    And carry on.

  74. Randy Johnson, Helena, Montana
    Would you liberals get off our site already?! Just because you guys have the right to free speech doesn’t mean we’re obligated to support it on our site! God, the cluelessness of some people!

    Too subtle?

  75. [re=387750]canadians for pussy[/re]: Mass murderers of all ilks enjoy the Beck program. Canada, Los Angeles, UK, they’re all represented.

  76. Last week on his radio program Beck reminded his tea-partying followers that:

    “We aren’t just saving the country for ourselves, we’re saving it for ‘Him.’ This isn’t just our country, it’s ‘His’ country.”

    I think by ‘Him’ Glenn must have meant either Rupert Murdoch, or Jesus. Either way, I guess we are now officially owned by some super-human, foreign power.

  77. I post as Arthur Jensen, from Network, and it gets deleted but this is still there!?

    Adolf Hitler, Fuhrerbunker, Berlin
    Glenn, you and I share core values everyone should hold dear. Keep fighting the good fight!

  78. ‘nathan explosion’ didn’t get through, but ‘don black’ did………….

    Don Black, Athens, AL
    Keep up the good work, Glenn. Together, we can take our country back. White Pride World Wide!

    too much ?

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