TERRIBLE NEWS  2:34 pm August 14, 2009

Evil Liberal Bloggers Strain Grassley, Specter Friendship, On Twitter

by Jim Newell

Photo by Spencer 'Prattackerman'The clone armies of Markos Molasses, Matt “David” Yglesias and others are still in Pittsburgh playing grab-ass with the supposed racist Bill Clinton at this year’s Netroots Nation conference. What the dickens are they hoping to achieve? Well this morning, during an address from former Republican sack o’ cancer Arlen Specter, they were able to get the Pennsylvania senator to prank-call and prank-Twitter his old friend Chuck Grassley — who is now furious! Does it make your day to know that you’ve RUINED a friendship, communist bloggers? Because it would make ours.

The Washington Independent reporter whose name rhymes with “Schmave Schmiegel” wrote up this report from Arlen’s coffee talk in Pittsburgh this morning, because Schmave is rich and can afford such things as transportation to Pittsburgh, City of Lights:

The conversation with Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) heated up a bit as he took questions on what he could do to bring Republicans on board with Democratic bills. “I’m close to Chuck Grassley; we came in at the same time,” said Specter. “You don’t need any help with Senator Snowe.” Specter was pressed on Grassley’s comments (first reported in The Iowa Independent) apparently giving credence to the idea that the Democrats want a “death panel” in the health care bill. “He’s in The New York Times this morning and he’s wrong. I’ll call him today.” That prompted shouts of “Call him now!”

“They’re saying ‘call him now,’” said moderator Ari Melber.

“Whoever said that, join me backstage and watch me dial.” Specter held his hand up, and wiped his mouth, smiling; the crowd ate it up.

He did leave a voicemail backstage saying, Chuckington, we must talk, about politics. Specter twitterbugged this news, too.

But the Republican from Iowa simply did not care for his old friend, supposedly a “Democrat” now, smearing poop all over the good name of Chuck Grassley, on Twitter.

This is the most readable Chuck Grassley Twat, ever. Has he been studying up with Hooked On Phonics?

Obviously this is just for show, and the two will meet with John Rockefeller Sr. and Emperor Hirohito for steaks and blood cocktails and pussy tonight, as usual.

Specter: ‘I’ll Call Chuck Grassley Today’ [Washington Independent]


Hola wonkerados.

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sexytime August 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Hirohito … pussy … bloooooood cocktails … that’s what netroots is all about. Long live KOS, warrior king of the Crimean plain.

Death Panel Wagon August 14, 2009 at 2:43 pm

OMG whoever is twittering for assly totally pwned whoever is twittering for specter. I never said ANYTHING about “death boards,” duh.

dum librul August 14, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Specter never said “death boards.” Change your twat, Senator!

indigo August 14, 2009 at 2:44 pm

What a child.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 14, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Sheesh, everyone knows that “death boards” are what Conservatives liked to be tied to by their interns before being pleasure. Cf: Ann Coulter.

orange August 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Chuck annoys me v much.

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Republicans get offended when people talk about death and sex. Preparation, they feel, tempts people to use them. So they’d rather just inflict them on strangers unawares.

Lascauxcaveman August 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

“Pittsburg, City of Lights.”


dum librul August 14, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=386672]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I believe some of our detainees have been deathboarded. It’s all just foreplay to the Cheneyites.

grendel August 14, 2009 at 2:47 pm

“steaks and blood cocktails and pussy”

Goddamn it! I want to be a Bilderberger too! Someone sign me up for that shit!

shortsshortsshorts August 14, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Who is that hairball next to the words “Chuckgrassley?”

Josh Fruhlinger August 14, 2009 at 2:50 pm

I’m kind of concerned at the description of Arlen “wip[ing] his mouth”. Does the doddering old turncoat need a drool cup?

[re=386676]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Pittsburg is a remarkably lovely city, with the many river and hills! It has even managed to lose the persistent odor, what with all the factories shutting down. (Also lost: many jobs.)

Shot at Wolf August 14, 2009 at 2:53 pm

I think prolly the funny is all wore off this debacle and the sad is showing through. Them stoopid 23%ers needs to regroup back in the woods and eat more bags of them southern-fried dicks.

Hedley Lamar August 14, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I’d like to volunteer to serve on a death board. I’d love to drown me some old wingnuts like
an unwanted kitten.

Joshua Norton August 14, 2009 at 2:54 pm

No, no, no. It’s Death Panels. Of course he wouldn’t talk about Death Boards. That would be silly.

June Cleaver 2.0 August 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Chuck Grassley has America’s health in his hands? Oyvay.

freakishlystrong August 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm
DustBowlBlues August 14, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Whew–I was afraid the wonkette would live blog the prez’s town hall and thereby cause me to lose what I was hoping would be at least one productive hour in my day. BTW–I don’t care what you loserz think, David Shuster is my fantasy boyfriend. Yeah, he basically, says, basically all the time but also says you’re welcome and sounds liberal to me. Then, MSNBC pays his salary, so whatever.

widestanceromancer August 14, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=386689]freakishlystrong[/re]: Which means he was against Grandma before he was for her. Umm, I has a sick now.

cynbot August 14, 2009 at 3:00 pm

In his Twit photo, ol’ Arlen looks suspiciously like Putin. Have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? Well, have you?

Rodney Badger August 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=386675]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You think they are pissed off now? Just wait until Sarah Palin explains to the country that the Death Boards will order seniors and tard babies to die by autoerotic asphyxiation.

dum librul August 14, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=386699]cynbot[/re]: We’d have to see them with their shirts off to know for cer–oh, hi again, lunch.

Bearbloke August 14, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Grassley & Specter will have a little make-up sex and all will be well…

Bufford T. Justice August 14, 2009 at 3:06 pm

I had no urge, what so ever, to know that GrASSly and Speculum came into anything at the same time.

bitchincamaro August 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=386686]Joshua Norton[/re]: Is this anything like the “death seat” in my Subaru wagon?

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2009 at 3:13 pm

[re=386703]Rodney Badger[/re]: And how is that gonna save money when the reality is that the government’s going to have to buy every citizen two wetsuits and a dildo.

Min August 14, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Smearing poop on Twitter…now there’s a redundancy.

hobospacejunkie August 14, 2009 at 3:15 pm

I see no one asked Arlen why a douchetard from the very minority party is even allowed to contribute to or in any way influence health care or any other legislation. Spineless backstabbing pigfuckers, the lot of them.

Suds McKenzie August 14, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=386694]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yes, Shuster’s “your welcome”‘s harked back to a kinder golden age of T.V journalism. When many would spend an hour each evening watching MacNeil and Lehrer discuss the issues of the day in a civilized manner. All the time looking longingly into each others eyes, until finally breaking into unrestrained PBS Butt Secks.

Rodney Badger August 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=386724]SayItWithWookies[/re]:I know, it’s outrageous. But the real big ticket item will be the self hogtieing lessons at the FEMA re-education camps.

Ducksworthy August 14, 2009 at 3:28 pm


Sadly true. In the meantime we could have fun speculating about what monstrous lie the 23%ers will concoct to launch their next assault on reality. Obama the anti-christ never really took off, Obama born in Kenya also seems to have collapsed (thanks Aussie birth certificate forger). I like the World Net Daily theory that Saddam was Obama’s grandmother but the logic was too hard to follow.

I predict that the next assault on this dimension will come in the form of a charge that the demoncraps are going to bring FDR back to life and install him as Emperor of the Universe.

zenferret August 14, 2009 at 3:29 pm

[re=386676]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: [re=386682]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]:

So like are they in Texas, Kansas or California? Pittsburg?

I thought Specter was from Pennsylvania?

Yes I am a shit, why?

WadISay August 14, 2009 at 3:30 pm

O/T, but is Wonkette going to liveblog Hopey’s townhall tonight? I’m sure the media will be carrying it, for the same reasons they carry Wrestlemania.

[re=386698]widestanceromancer[/re]: Grassley’s grandmother was born in 1628.

Gallowglass August 14, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I figured they combined steaks, blood cocktails and pussy by simply drinking blood from a cow’s vagina.

assistant/atlas August 14, 2009 at 3:54 pm

If Specter was really a liberal, he would’ve just given the netroots Grassley’s phone number…now THAT would’ve been fun.

Jukesgrrl August 14, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Speaking of ruined friendships, you shits just made me spit a half-chewed-up bagel on my keyboard because you called the Evil Arlen a “sack o’ cancer.”

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Chuck who? I mean, I know Specter (an oddly appropriate name these days), but this Grassely ass-hat is new to me.

Jukesgrrl August 14, 2009 at 4:28 pm

[re=386745]zenferret[/re]: I, too, find it annoying that people who normally spell just fine can’t get it together to put an H at the end of PittsburgH, a town that has every right to call itself “San Francisco Without an Ocean,” at least as long as Iowa City is insisting it’s “Paris of the Midwest.” But this year PittsburgH has the trifecta of a G-20 Summit, the NetRoots, AND the nation’s largest and skankiest furry convention … so who’s laughing now?

AlexisHidell August 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm

I’m planning to run against GrASSley for Senate in 2016 unless a Death Plank rightly decides that his usefulness to society has run its course and he’s youth-in-Asia’d before then.

Junior August 14, 2009 at 4:58 pm

I’m trying hard to understand what any of this post means, who these people are, or what country I am currently living in. It’s been a long week.

zhubajie August 14, 2009 at 7:13 pm

“Change ur last Tweet”.

Or what? Pistols at dawn in Weehawken?

Bringing back dueling would improve politics and journalism a lot!

zhubajie August 14, 2009 at 7:16 pm

Is Grassley still investigating the possibility that TV evangelists are a bunch of crooks?

zhubajie August 14, 2009 at 7:17 pm

[re=386816]masterdebater[/re]: He’s been ruining the reputation of Iowa for a long time, unfortunately.

LoweredPeninsula August 16, 2009 at 3:41 am

[re=386938]AlexisHidell[/re]: Death Plank? Even better than Death Boards and Death Panels. I think we found us a new meme. So, what’s that, you say? We’re going to roll grandma onto the Death Plank and subsequently dump her out of her Hoverround?

gurukalehuru August 16, 2009 at 10:58 am

I never said Death Boards! Death Panels, Death Camps, Death Committees, maybe, but I never used the word boards. I AM NOT A NAIL!!!

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