happy endings

Five Years After ‘Gay American’ Scandal, McGreevey Just Some Christian Dude

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Best philandering governor of '04BLAST YOU JIM McGREEVEY. Once upon a time the former governor of New Jersey was so funny, with his exotic “gay American” ethnicity and his alleged sexyhot TGI Friday’s Three-for-Alls with his wife and another dude. But now he is just some nice seminary student trying to help ex-cons re-enter the workforce, and you can’t really wring a lot of comedy out of that. Read the interview anyway! He seems like a nice man! Nicer than shitty old Jon Corzine. [Inside Jersey Magazine]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • rambone

    you can’t really wring a lot of comedy out of that

    But that could be more than enough plot for a gay porno or four

  • Joshua Norton

    now he is just some nice seminary student trying to help ex-cons re-enter the workforce,

    Which would explain the name-tag that says “Hi. My name is Workforce”.

  • Gallowglass

    Dammit. We always lose the interesting ones, but we’re stuck with Mark “Got the house to myself so I can whack off in any room I want” Sanford.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    Will someone please explain to me what New Jersey is for? It seems like a storage locker for people with irritating vowels and pants that don’t fit right.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    TGI Friday’s serves up some delicious COCKtales. You should try the “NJGuv”— it’s a cosmopolitan stirred by a man’s penis.

  • FlownOver

    OK, let’s fine-tune Warhol: In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes – then not, then later famous again for just long enough for everybody to say “Who? Oh, yeah.”

    Witness the power of this fully armed and operational Regional Magazine!

  • Dave J.

    I hope the former Mrs. McGreevey knows that there is a certain empty governor’s mansion down south of New Jersey that could use some serious sparkin’.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=386575]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: not a dog’s penis, that’s called a Santorum.

  • JadedDIssonance

    Damn you Wonkett, for showing me these snapshots of happiness that trifle with my everlasting soul!

  • Min

    There’s some serious bitterness in the responses to that article. I don’t know if it’s due to McGreevey’s perfidy, anti-gay sentiment, or simply being forced to live in NJ, but it’s pretty damn toxic.

  • x111e7thst

    2004 = Sexy sex in three-for-alls
    2009 = Serious seminary student
    2011 = Murderous meth fueled rampage in a suburban mall or parochial school

  • ummm

    [re=386590]Min[/re]: I think it’s from living in New Jersey.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=386590]Min[/re]: You think that’s bad. Read the comments on the linked article about his even-lower-than-low current popularity. Scary stuff.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    But now he is just some nice seminary student trying to help ex-cons re-enter the workforce,

    How does sharing stories about prison blow jobs help ex-cons re-enter the workforce?

  • Regina

    “on a recent gray morning ..” Anybody else misread that?

  • WadISay

    There’s an Inside Jersey magazine? Shouldn’t it be Inside Fucking Jersey? Opening the cover can’t be for the faint of heart.

  • Patty Dumpling

    I guess Love Won Out yet again…

  • Roger3815

    He’s an embarrassment to bisexuals everywhere.

  • bitchincamaro

    I’m torn between remembering McGrievous as the ambisexual, fast-food filching, orgyist, or the Jeebus-loving spreader of The Word to his flock.

    O.K. I’m no longer torn.

  • Chain Tattoo

    Look to the future, and you will see New Jersey!
    Illinois thinks it’s got some kinda lock on the shitty politician thing, but Ronnie Blago is strictly amateur by Jersey standards.
    Nice try South Carolina, but the Garden State still roolz.

    Every politician in the land of the mighty Turnpike is either under indictment, in the closet, or controlled by the mob.

  • Patty Dumpling

    Time for a very respectful, hetero-erotic two-for-all. At a Cracker Barrel.

  • Les Paultard

    As long as they don’t take the First Lady Sandwich off the menu at TGIF.

  • norbizness

    We tried to pull a Donald Draper, but it’s hard with a name like McSkeevy.

  • Country Club Jihadi

    TGIF now serves up a hot loaf called ‘The Body of Jim, The Bread of Heaven’.

  • shadowMark

    Every day almost every story is poetic counterpoint to that townhall street poet’s unrhymed couplet: Jam it down our throats in 2009/We’ll stick it up your ass in 2010.

  • Suds McKenzie

    Yeah, nothing gay has Ever happened in a seminary.

  • Joshua Norton

    [re=386635]Chain Tattoo[/re]:

    And there’s good old Chris Christie of Rove Attorney Scandal fame waiting in the wings to take over as Governor.

    Good times.

  • Joshua Norton

    [re=386660]Suds McKenzie[/re]:

    They just have a looser definition of “praying” than the rest of us do. Those crazy, fun-loving Catholics.

  • Terry

    Well, there is some precedent for gay Irish guys to go for religious vocations.

  • Hedley Lamar

    I’ll volunteer to take his former hotwife to Applebys…. maybe we’ll order the creampie.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=386693]Hedley Lamar[/re]: That’s “big” of you.

  • zenferret

    [re=386572]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: New Jersey is for burying the bodies you killed in New York

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=386705]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yeah, I thought it was mighty white of him, too.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=386748]zenferret[/re]: the bodies I killed in New York… during kinhin

  • pondscum

    Didn’t she claim to not know he was gay? I’m sorry, but one look at that photo and my gaydar is pegged in the red zone.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=386779]pondscum[/re]: Maybe she just liked pegging his red zone?

  • masterdebater

    [re=386599]ummm[/re]: I agree. That would do it for me.

  • ericstoltz

    What do you mean you can’t find comedy in this story? Send it off to Red State and see what they come up with. People who are annoyed by compassion will definitely come up with something high-larious.

  • kipperthegod

    Ah, the church, the closeted man’s best friend since about 400 a.d. Remember, you can’t spell “seminary” without “semin” (sp.)

  • zhubajie

    She already has the strained smile of a political wife.

  • as.the.world.burns

    [re=387293]zhubajie[/re]: i’d be willing to volunteer to make it wider.

  • LoweredPeninsula

    Quite possibly the most unsurprising news of the year. Gay, Irish-Catholic former gov goes to seminary. Why knock me over with a feather. Oh, shit; I’ve just double entendred all over the floor.