• May 26, 2012

‘…like Mel Gibson playing the character, William Wallace, did.’

by Jim Newell  

Wonkette’s Tea Party “Google Group” operative sends this amazing e-mail about the Hollywood motion picture Braveheart. Please, please do this, guys!

{ 140 comments }

Crab1 August 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm

That would make a sane idea seem even saner!

Tommmcatt August 13, 2009 at 5:10 pm

He’d get more press if he went with his ass painted blue.

Bearbloke August 13, 2009 at 5:10 pm

But will William Wallancew be EXTERMINATED by n0bAMa’s DEATH PANEL like Guitar-pioneerLess Paul was?

No Words August 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

god dammit

Bearbloke August 13, 2009 at 5:12 pm

But will William Wallace be EXTERMINATED by n0bAMa’s DEATH PANEL like Guitar-pioneer Les Paul was?

RUN WALLACE, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KilgoreTrout_XL August 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

You mean the Mel Gibson who “owns malibu” and asks the nice lady cop “are you a jew?”

lochnessmonster August 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Okay I get the TPP (Toilet Paper Party) but what is the TTP??? I’ll await anyone’s answer.

Dailyfare August 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Yes, because asking people to be civilized is the first step toward Marxism.

Gopherit August 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

You first, Newell.

AllHat August 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

If it ends with some of them getting their entrails pulled out by a pair dwarfs, then I say go for it.

OReillysVibrator August 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm

They may take our lives, but they will never take OUR INABILITY TO SPELL AND USE PROPER GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!

Bearbloke August 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=385842]Bearbloke[/re]: ugh! sorry for the reposting – it’s the middle of the night here, and I’m in a delirium… (sleep? that’s for pansies!!) – good times, mate!

Roger the Shrubber August 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Ooh, do we get to see the modern WWs drawn, hanged, disemboweled, emasculated, genitalia and entrails burned before their eyes, quartered, then beheaded?

Josh Fruhlinger August 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Mel Gibson got horribly disemboweled alive at the end of that movie, right? PROCEED.

Native of SL UT August 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Because they can’t be good little boys and girls they are going to paint their faces blue. I like it. That’s a great idea. They will get so much more credibility that way.
Maybe they could warm up the front of their pants with piss too. People will really stand up and notice them then.

Death Panel Wagon August 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm

OMG not only are they jumping sharks, they are filling schoolbuses with sharks, lining them up next to each other, setting them on fire, setting themselves on fire, and jumping the flaming schoolbuses filled with sharks, while flaming.

Townhall August is turning out to be better than a month of shark weeks!

Josh Fruhlinger August 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

[re=385853]AllHat[/re]: [re=385858]Roger the Shrubber[/re]: dammit.

friendlyskies August 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Taking blue back for the red states! Freeeeeedom! Maybe they’ll finally return red to the communists, for Fidel Castro’s birthday.

Gopherit August 13, 2009 at 5:17 pm

“We are at war! We need warriors, not politically-correct people pleasers!”

You know, if you imagine him saying it with a Daffy Duck voice, it almost makes you forget what a bunch of crazy fucktards they are.

CthuNHu August 13, 2009 at 5:17 pm

If they want to go the way of William Wallace, I have no problem with that.

“He was hanged until almost unconscious, then he was taken down, tied to a table, disemboweled, and his entrails were set afire while still attached to him. He was possibly castrated, as well. He was finally put out of his unimaginable misery by being beheaded. His body was quartered, the pieces being sent to Newcastle-upon-Tyne in England, and Berwick, Perth, and Stirling in Scotland, and his head was placed on a pike on London Bridge for all to see, all as a warning to other would-be traitors.”

http://www.mygen.com/users/bruce/willwall.html

http://www.tddir.com/fitness-and-nutrition/article-1700.html

light August 13, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Why don’t any of these douchebags know the proper usage of your/you’re? Oh, it makes me mad! Like Lou Ferrigno, playing the character, The Incredibly Hulk.

bureaucrap August 13, 2009 at 5:17 pm

In “South Park”, the the people of South park fought against a bunch of crazy turkeys with blue-painted faces (beaks?). I guess this is the same thing.

Snarkalicious August 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

I wouldn’t want these guys to sound recockculous, or end up stuck with a partial metaphor, so I’ma set up Rahm with a vertical rack and a hooked cleaver. They sell that shit at Wal-Mart?

JooJoo Bee August 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

I’m thinking “manonfire” doesn’t get laid much. That’s probably because of the ginormous beer gut, mouth-breathing, and the blue makeup. Wouldn’t make anybody mad as hell? Let’s just pity him. And then rat on him for treason.

Aloysius August 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=385853]AllHat[/re]: Dang. You said it before I could. Good form, sir.

Min August 13, 2009 at 5:20 pm

I want to see some Braveheart moments in our town hall meetings.

To be followed by hanging, drawing, and quartering of the protesters. After all, if you’re going to have a theme protest, you might as well do it right.

widget09 August 13, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Come on, that can’t be real! With a screen name of “manonfire” the auther is obviously a log cabin type. Apparently, someone pissed in his cheerio’s before he wrote this. So vindictive and bitterz.

Native of SL UT August 13, 2009 at 5:21 pm

[re=385866]Death Panel Wagon[/re]: They are nuking the fridge.
Except they aren’t actually going to get in the fridge to get away from the blast because the fridge is already full of beer and they are going to need that beer after the bomb goes off.

NoWireHangers August 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

I encourage our mouth-breathing friends to go “William Wallace” at the town halls—but only if it means we get to draw and quarter them.

pdiddycornchips August 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Yes, painting your craggly faces blue will definitely help your cause with the media.

WhatTheHeck August 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm

In another “Braveheart” moment, Wallace realizes he’s been shafted by his once powerful supporters.
It takes more than blue paint to gain some respect.

slappypaddy August 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm

oh, shit, they’re onto us. they’ve figured out our entire marxisty agenda,

except for one little detail they got wrong –

we’re not trying to force it down their throats, we’re trying to jam it up their asses. can’t they get that straight? (so to speak.)

Joshua Norton August 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm

I’m guessing that moranfire didn’t see the ending of Braveheart. It doesn’t end well for Wallace. Not well a-tall.

But if that’s how he wants to play then so be it….

Let the games begin!

ShamWow August 13, 2009 at 5:24 pm

I assume manonfire has already been reported to flag@whitehouse.gov

LittlePig August 13, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=385858]Roger the Shrubber[/re]: Please Baby Jeebus, make it so.

stratonike August 13, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=385870]Gopherit[/re]: OMG it works!

Min August 13, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=385880]Min[/re]: I had no idea disemboweling would be such a popular choice.

Buzz Feedback August 13, 2009 at 5:27 pm

“Manonfire” rabble-rousing from DEEEEEEEEEEEEP in the closet.

Extemporanus August 13, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Yeah, that’s right. Puddy is a Teabagger.

CthuNHu August 13, 2009 at 5:27 pm

I breathlessly await the town hall video of a spittle-flecked Papa Smurf calling Dianne Feinstein “sugartits.”

widget09 August 13, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Bravehart = FAIL

LittlePig August 13, 2009 at 5:28 pm

[re=385863]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: As opposed to being delightfully disemboweled alive?

randomsausage August 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm

We’re all kilt-wearing sheep-shaggers today

Hooray For Anything August 13, 2009 at 5:32 pm

Better using “Braveheart” as a rallying point at a rally than “Passion of the Christ.”

PrairiePossum August 13, 2009 at 5:32 pm

“So I say, be yourselves… don’t be intimidated into not showing it.”

Amen, brother. Let your freak flags fly! Show-up at the town hall naked, painted blue from head to toe, carrying weapons, spitting, shouting and waiving your arms. If the cops try to stop you, ask yourself “What would Mel do?” Call ‘em Sugar Tits and launch into a anti-semitic tirade.

Wonkette is behind you 100%

LittlePig August 13, 2009 at 5:32 pm

if your (sic) mad as hell, don’t be intimidated into not showing it.

You just do that little thing, Sparky. Cops love spunky protesters, they do. And if B-Rock “The Islamic Shock” Hussein Superallah Obama comes to town, do it up right and double-down. Secret Service agents are well known for their sense of levity and accommodation of horseplay.

populucious August 13, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Of course back in the good old days of Bush-topia, this never would have happened, cuz no one was allowed in these “open, public, town hall meetings” who wasn’t hand selected by Liz Cheney. We’re startled by the sight of these insane Fruit Loops cuz we haven’t seen them in ages.

I do agree though, that painting one’s face blue and screaming FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMM!!!! at one of these things would definately deepen the level of intellectual discourse.

AtlasHugged August 13, 2009 at 5:34 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYHTaWLnWQs

I hear you get 20% discount at Mr. Yogato for doing that. Capitalism. Rawks.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Ah, William Wallace — forget the fact that the freedom he fought for was more the freedom of the Scottish to have their own despotic monarchy instead of the English despotic monarchy ruling over them, and that they lived in an age of almost unthinkable misery and hardship, where the average person had little or no rights. The imagery will go really well with their Gadsden flags and Obama-as-Hitler posters and their tricorn hats and copies of Atlas Shrugged. Someday historians are going to look back on this era and be really, really baffled.

ManchuCandidate August 13, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Aye, protest and you may ignore. Be polite, and you’ll eat Cheetos… at least a while. And dying in your beds, when your health insurance company cancels your policy when you get cancer, would you be willin’ to trade for gubbiment healthcare, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may give us healthcare, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDUMBS!

Gallowglass August 13, 2009 at 5:36 pm

You know, I think these guys are selling themselves short by committing to Braveheart, when there are so many others in the Gibson cannon. Like Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, which is already survivalist wingnut spank-off material. I think they could get the crowd to force the members of congress to admit that it is, in fact, Master-Blaster who runs Bartertown.

On Braveheart: Wallace was hanged until nearly dead, castrated and eviscerated while still alive, then drawn (his limbs tied to horses, which were whipped into running in different directions) and quartered (chopped into four pieces) and his body parts put on display. All that was likewise depicted (sort-of, in a PG-13 way) by Mel Gibson in his history-raping epic. Will we see this acted out by tea-baggers at their town hall meetings? Because I’m surprisingly okay with that.

He also bagged that Scottish peasant girl and the French princess. I’d be okay seeing that acted out too.

The Station Manager August 13, 2009 at 5:38 pm

Good lord, I haven’t seen this many uses of the word “entrails” in a Wonkette comments section since that awful day when Twitter went down.

WadISay August 13, 2009 at 5:38 pm

The secular progressives are trying to shove marxism down our throats.

If by “marxism” you mean, “flaming dicks”, yes.

kth August 13, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Reaction of Dem congresscritter to face-painted mob: “Any Chargers fans in the house? Let me hear you say yeah!”

AtlasHugged August 13, 2009 at 5:39 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYHTaWLnWQs

I hear you get a 20% at Mr. Yogato for doing the same thing. Capitalism. Rawks.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 13, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Mel Gibson never played George Wallace in any talkies or moving pictures.. Pass the pork rinds, Reba, NOW!!

Jukesgrrl August 13, 2009 at 5:41 pm

[re=385872]light[/re]: When they can’t/won’t learn the most basic functions of the language they speak every day, why would we be surprised when they decide to be against bills they can’t/won’t read?

I remember a part of Braveheart (a movie I saw and loathed, BTW) where Wallace convinced a warrior to join him, not because of ideology but because the guy would get to “kill the English.” That’s close to the mindset of the tea people. “You don’t have to understand what we’re fighting for — we don’t understand it ourselves. But you’ll get to annoy Obama!”

tootsieroll August 13, 2009 at 5:48 pm

TPM has a great piece about how these loonies don’t know the fucking difference between Marxism, Socialism, Nazis, etc… Because Rush and Beck are so too stupid to care if they use them correctly.

Can we do some kind of PSA and buy time on FOX? We could have Dale Earnhardt and some chick in Daisy Dukes holding cute charts explaining the difference, and how it’s really Rush and the Right Wing that are the fascists?

Kathryn. August 13, 2009 at 5:48 pm

I’d be more happy if they went with Lethal Weapon. A crazy white guy and a sane black guy who is “too old for this shit” team up to fight the government who is taking away their freedoms!

I guess the only problem is that there aren’t any sane black guys in the GOP.

CapnFatback August 13, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Next Mel Gibson-inspired Teabagger fashion tip? Pantyhose.

ScubaDew August 13, 2009 at 5:56 pm

No, they need to dress up in the King Leonidas brand panties from 300 and keep shouting, “THIS. IS. AMERICA!!!!” at the top of their lungs. Only then will they have earned the respect and fear of their enemies (us).

slowuncle August 13, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Oh god I can see it now—a whole new outlet for the insufferable sub-species known as Historical Re-enactors: They’ll put away their plus-size Confederate uniforms and don kilts, assaulting innocent non-partisans with lame attempts at a Scottish brogue all the while scaring civilians and Congresspersons with their fat blue faces and bravado boasts of actually having eaten haggis. OK I surrender!. No Healthcare Reform! you win, now shut off the fucking bagpipe cassette on your Hello Kitty boombox…

CollegeStudent August 13, 2009 at 5:59 pm

ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease OHPLEASE Please PLEASE PLEASE do this

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 13, 2009 at 5:59 pm

To: flag@whitehouse.gov

Re: White House Enemies List

Subj: manonfire

Pls arrest this stoopid fucker and ship his ass to Afghanistan.

Regards,

QAE v 2.0

TeddyS August 13, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Manonfire: There is a thin line between wearing a kilt and painting your face blue to wearing a skirt and wearing lipstick.

hobospacejunkie August 13, 2009 at 6:04 pm

So we’re trying to shove Marxism down their throats. If only. At best we’re opening the door to a little tiny bit more social democracy. But feel free to freak out & overreact to anything a Dem does by giving it a label you couldn’t begin to define if we spotted you Das Kapital volumes one and two, you retarded pig fuckers.

Mavky August 13, 2009 at 6:04 pm

I was always astonished at the magically good dental hygiene in Braveheart, Gibson’s gleaming white teeth in the wilds of primeval Scotland . . now that’s a health care fantasy we can all believe in. Does this mean Nobama has “droit de seigneur” with wingnut brides? Save the womenfolk!

Tundra Grifter August 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm

Tom Brady has said he’s seen “Braveheart” about 200 times.

I’m guessing that’s more times than Mel Gibson’s mother.

magic titty August 13, 2009 at 6:08 pm

FREEDOMS, PLURALIZED!!!!

Anyway, “It does me”. Really? Really?

Native of SL UT August 13, 2009 at 6:15 pm

[re=385936]tootsieroll[/re]: Dale Earnhardt is dead so he can do the PSA with Ronald Reagan instead.

Todd Mecklem August 13, 2009 at 6:17 pm

It’ll start with the blue facepaint. Then they’ll wear kilts. Then they’ll start flashing their balls and asses. And then we’ll be sorry.

We’ll be very, very sorry.

ShamWow August 13, 2009 at 6:19 pm

Wait. Didn’t Mel Sugartits Gibson grow up in Australia? I bet he had socialized healthcare. Is that really a good hero for our teabaggin-deathers to look up to?

qaf August 13, 2009 at 6:23 pm

[re=385899]Extemporanus[/re]: Who’s Puddy? (Don’t answer that.)

Pithaughn August 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Why not just Mad Max. Is’nt Max a popular name in the +60 crown? And what will the SS agent say to the blue face painted tard charging the stage with his Hoveround ( which cost him almost nothing or nothing) ? “A fellah, a QUICK fellah, might have a weapon under there.”

Schmegeg August 13, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Maybe they should be like Dustin Hoffman in Rain man, babbling nonsense for hours on end. Oh . . .

Carrie_Okie August 13, 2009 at 6:27 pm

also the jews are making the health reform.

doxastic August 13, 2009 at 6:29 pm

I for one welcome tea/tax/birth/PUMA/death/912ers exercising their god given constitutional right to make total asses of themselves. The best part about believing in radical autonomous individualism is that you never notice when other people are laughing at you.

DustBowlBlues August 13, 2009 at 6:29 pm

[re=385945]slowuncle[/re]: Is this Wallace thing the reason Christopher Guest as part of Spinal Tap is now sporting a kilt? Funny, I would have never taken him for a teabagger.

badmuthagoose August 13, 2009 at 6:30 pm

Yeah, liberals make such awful demands of people: “behave civilized” and “be respectful.”

Damn liberals trying to shove ADULT BEHAVIOR DOWN OUR THROATS! WE WON’T STAND FOR IT! WE’LL SPIT OUR BINKY OUT AND START CRYING AND SHITTIN’ OUR DRAWERS WHENEVER AND WHERE EVER WE DAMN WELL PLEASE, YOU MARXIST SOCIALIST COMMUNIST ADAMATIST AGAPIST EIDOLIST NUMENIST TYCHIST* LIBRULS!

*Nevermind, they wouldn’t know the last five words there and they don’t know the definition for all of them.

But god DAMN I can’t believe we want people to be all civilized and shit!

DustBowlBlues August 13, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Will whoever passed this email along please post a link on their little group’s email list to the wonkeratti’s take on their Blue Man Group themed protest? Just to piss them off.

slowuncle August 13, 2009 at 6:36 pm

Oh yeah, the Hoveround completes the dada-esque visual this farce has conjured in my (now overtaxed) imagination. Let’s not forget that both Australia AND Brave Scotland have socialized health-care. Awkward.

BlueStateLibtard August 13, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=385866]Death Panel Wagon[/re]: Your post was the only thing that made me smile today, thanks.

iolanthe August 13, 2009 at 6:40 pm

[re=385872]light[/re]: It’s called “hoem shcolling”!

Bebe Loves You August 13, 2009 at 6:43 pm

I think he wants them to paint their faces blue, strip down to kilts, and oil their bodies.

And I don’t blame him.

4tehlulz August 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm

The real William Wallace lost, so if that’s what the teabaggers are planning, I say we encourage them.

bc August 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Maybe moronfire should read a bit of Scottish history, the real Wallace was 6’7″ tall – Mel Gibson is a hobbitt, Wallace died an agonizing death, the real Wallace did not wear a kilt – he was a lowlander, not of the highland clans who did wear kilts – then again moronfire just knows the incredibly inacurate movie – don’t confuse him with facts.

doxastic August 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Marxists would like for wingnuts to stop associating them with this corporatist weak sauce.

EelPout August 13, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Dude picked the wrong film to emulate. This is right up ‘Tard Alley:

Bluto: Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough… [thinks hard] the tough get goin’! Who’s with me? Let’s go! [runs out, alone; then returns]

What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble.” Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Wormer, he’s a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer -

Otter: Dead! Bluto’s right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.

Bluto: We’re just the guys to do it.

D-Day: Let’s do it.

Bluto: LET’S DO IT!!

Quasi August 13, 2009 at 7:05 pm

The only way to stop that Marxist-Zionist-UnAmerican-Nazi-Islamofascist-Kenyan nObama’s diabolical plot to make our health care insurance worth anything more than half-a-pound of diarrhoeal dog droppings is to yell, shout and squeal, while acting like berserker arseholes, in order to destroy the democratic process that threatens this great country of the United Saints of White Jesusland.

Don’t forget to bring plenty of knives and guns and outrageous (not to mention outrageously illiterate) signs to protect yourself from the inevitable attacks of those dirty, unpatriotic elites who assemble there threatening the peace with their civilized behaviour.

Clown from hell August 13, 2009 at 7:06 pm

Yes, by all means! Paint your face. Kill them. Bury them in the basement.

Snarkalicious August 13, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=385936]tootsieroll[/re]: Just as a suggestion, ya might wanna go with Jr on that one. Dale ain’t much for the camera to look at these days.

natteringnabomb August 13, 2009 at 7:11 pm

The marxist,socialist,communist,muslin,terrorist,black ,mexican,eastcoast elitist,hollywood types and libruls want control of our economy ,health care,industry and personal freedoms because DUH the last government destroyed them. Paintin your asses blue aint gunna change that but please do cause it’s funny as hell.

SwanSwanH August 13, 2009 at 7:16 pm

Prima Nocte = Public Option

masterdebater August 13, 2009 at 7:17 pm

Wait a minute! Wern’t that Wallace feller a foreigner? Don’t we have us any good old Amercan heros for our kids to look up too. God damn Hollywood elitist communist queers!

aaronincus August 13, 2009 at 7:18 pm

If by Braveheart they mean horny French princesses, then by all means. Please do so. That would make for a superduperuber YouTube moment. However, no one has fun when they bring out the entrails fishhook.

Clown from hell August 13, 2009 at 7:19 pm

Yes, yes, he’s right! No pussies, please!

lemprika August 13, 2009 at 7:22 pm

What about some other great film moments like the town hall meeting in Footloose when Ren (Kevin Bacon) convinces the town council to vote for prom by reading a passage from the bible.

lawrenceofthedesert August 13, 2009 at 7:22 pm

It shall be so colorful! I can picture the wingnuts all painted up like an imbecile Blue Man Group, contrasting vividly with their girlfriends’ pink-purple swollen asses…

Jumping Jim August 13, 2009 at 7:25 pm

[re=386022]EelPout[/re]: c/o Senator John Blutarsky, Washington DC

One Yield Regular August 13, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Yes, wasn’t it great how Mel Gibson just decided to paint his face blue and play this character, William Wallace? And then shout out freedom? Man on FIRE! That was a Braveheart moment even before there WERE Braveheart moments.

By the way, what face paint color do you recommend for the womenfolk? You don’t specify.

qwerty42 August 13, 2009 at 7:28 pm

oh please god get them to paint themselves blue. maybe run around screaming (well, they’re already doing that, so carry on)

benj-thewrathofgod August 13, 2009 at 7:28 pm

Idiots. Don’t they know that just yesterday William Wallace, a Brit, said “I wouldn’t be here today if it were not for the NHS,” … “I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived”

Neoyorquino August 13, 2009 at 7:30 pm

If I want to see a bunch of fat-assed, mouth breathing knuckle draggers with painted faces, screaming at the top of their lungs in search of attention and self-validation, I can go to a football game.

tootsieroll August 13, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=386033]Snarkalicious[/re]: I know, I know… fail. I skipped the Jr. because I thought it would be implied I meant the live one.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 13, 2009 at 7:36 pm

Shortsshortsshorts, admit it, this is your doing.

Wonderman August 13, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Well you have to remember that some of the best sex Wallace had was in his dreams. Like this guy.

Tundra Grifter August 13, 2009 at 7:51 pm

[re=385858]Roger the Shrubber[/re]: Is that “Roger the Shrubber” slumming from NewsBusters?

finallyhappy August 13, 2009 at 7:54 pm

[re=386063]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: You know I think you might be right- but it would be great if any wingnuts fell for it.

The Station Manager August 13, 2009 at 8:21 pm

[re=385866]Death Panel Wagon[/re]: Best circus ever.

the problem child August 13, 2009 at 8:53 pm

I actually think they should be encouraged to dye themselves blue. I hear that shit takes some serious science to get rid of, and we know scientific knowledge is in short supply among these screaming loons: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_7109/is_12_4/ai_n28454352/

schvitzatura August 13, 2009 at 9:03 pm

The Hanoverian British Crown crushed the Jacobites at Culloden in 1745…so, laddie, put away your pipes and blue face paint, until the smartie smart Wessex (read “Organizing for America”) technocrats find you Scots-Irish rabble some brown people to abuse in a foreign hellhole of their choosing.

In the meantime, clearances aka death panels, for the lot of you all!

Bearbloke August 13, 2009 at 9:07 pm

[re=386031]Quasi[/re]: Spoken like a True American©!!

FlownOver August 13, 2009 at 9:14 pm

[re=385955]Tundra Grifter[/re]: In what context has Tom Brady seen Mel Gibson’s mother?

ella August 13, 2009 at 9:17 pm

All I remember from Braveheart is something about a quarter not being asked for or given and somebody got raped, but as long they’re not watching The Manchurian Candidate….

Sick Puppy August 13, 2009 at 9:32 pm

They don’t need to paint their faces blue. They have tantrums and hold their breath(s??) until their faces turn blue. Much better for the environment.

SlipperyDick August 13, 2009 at 9:38 pm

If they want to do a group primal scream and make an impression, they should forget about the blue face paint, and go baboon: paint their bottoms red and look sultry so that Obama will know they’re fertile and ready for breeding.

naveed August 13, 2009 at 10:05 pm

i didn’t know crazy went higher than 11. yay!

northernbassist August 13, 2009 at 10:28 pm

[re=385849]lochnessmonster[/re]: TTP is Sarah Palin’s new party: ‘Twunts Twittering Preposterously”

Athar August 13, 2009 at 10:30 pm

Paint their faces? Who cares if they paint their stupid faces? I thought he meant they should all go wearing kilts, and, at the signal, lift them and shake their bare asses at the cameras.

Now that I do not want to see!

snideinplainsight August 13, 2009 at 11:06 pm

At the end of the movie, or his life, whatever – Melliam Wallace was, drawing quarters, castor oiled, his entreaties were set on fire, he was spit, samovared until unconsciounous, and then his face was painted blue. Then he was sent to Orwell, Kent, Stoke, Trent, and Marlboro Country. And he got head at the pike of the Tower of London.

Let’s have all that again, it’s all a little confusing in an elaborate, entirely redundant, Britisher kind of way.

Quasi August 13, 2009 at 11:24 pm

They plan to paint their faces with woad?

Funny. They don’t look Druish.

GreatOldOnesParty August 13, 2009 at 11:27 pm

“The meedja’ll maek us look bayud n e way! Thar tryn a roon ar credibilty! Ima fixin’ ta keerect that. Iffen we gets teh bloo face paynt, well roon ar credibilllty afor thay can! EET THAT LIBRUL MEEDJA!”

hobospacejunkie August 13, 2009 at 11:33 pm

Is it beginning to dawn on anyone else that maybe Hopey doesn’t really want radical health care/insurance change and he’s using pig fuckers like (Gr)assley and the Blue Ball Dems as cover? Hopey gets to look like he tried while blaming the kooky right & the blue balls for his failure. This assumes that Hopey thinks we’re too dumb to understand that a proper party with proper party discipline should be able to ram a good bill through Congress anyway since, duh, they have unassailable majorities in both houses.

Maybe I’ve just been reading too much Matt Taibbi, but this whole process is really starting to stink.

imissopus August 13, 2009 at 11:54 pm

Ironically, Mad Mel’s dad is an infamous Holocaust denier and anti-Semite. I look forward to the mouth breathers explaining to me how that makes him a leftist.

oldguy August 13, 2009 at 11:55 pm

[re=385870]Gopherit[/re]: THANK YOU. I’ll be ok now. And to think I was getting the sadz about all this.

“One-eyed one-horned flying purple (or blue) people pleaser” sounds REALLY good with a Daffy Duck voice.

dementor August 14, 2009 at 12:19 am

[re=386063]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Is poor shorts a middle child that he is blamed for everything? Whenever I look he’s pretty much behaving himself.

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 12:36 am

[re=386132]imissopus[/re]:
QED
Because they’re Christians who think Jeebus will only come back to earth if hundreds of thousands of Jews are obliterated. Thus, they only like Jews if they’re dead. Hence, denying the Holocaust is to deny God’s glorious plan.

gurukalehuru August 14, 2009 at 12:42 am

I see a red face and I want it painted blue
I see them disemboweled after flinging poo

eh, that’s all I got

zhubajie August 14, 2009 at 12:51 am

[re=385908]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I doubt many Teabaggers speak Aramaic!

Zhu Bajie

Sick Puppy August 14, 2009 at 2:19 am

If you don’t paint yer face, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t paint yer face?

thursday August 14, 2009 at 2:46 am

NOBAMA SOCIALIST HE’S AN ARAB MARXIST NAZI FASCIST SOCIALIST MARXIST MUSLIM SHOW ME THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

WideStance August 14, 2009 at 7:03 am

Tea Party Patriot Last Year: America land of the free! Spread democracy everywhere!

TPP This Year: If the [freely elected] secular progressives try to implement a program we don’t like through the democratic process, we will kill them.

ForTheTurnstiles August 14, 2009 at 7:34 am

Lots of nutters believe in this kind of make-believe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3yn3SelVCs

GET OFF MY PHONE!

StarkRavingMan August 14, 2009 at 8:40 am

It would be especially cool if folks arrived on horseback! Chicks really dig horses.

StarkRavingMan August 14, 2009 at 8:59 am

Actually, I’d prefer a few Bruno moments, dahling.

Darkness August 14, 2009 at 9:57 am

Go dude, go! your buddies will shout. Then after you are all in the Man’s face in your blue underwearless glory, it will be just like the movie. All your buddies will suddenly forget they know you.

DelSwazio August 14, 2009 at 10:03 am
Darkness August 14, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=385954]Mavky[/re]: Actually, probably gleaming white. Straight, not so much, but white, yes. This was pre-sugartits after all.

thefrontpage August 14, 2009 at 11:11 am

Isn’t it crazily stupid and psycho that all of these morons ranting and raving about “government-sponsored health care” will gladly, hungrily and arrogantly collect their Medicaid and Medicare payments and money—-which are government-sponsored, taxpayer-sponsored, tax-money-sponsored government health care?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=386140]dementor[/re]: Shorts is the most amazing war-blogger known. Sure, he can seem normal, but he is at his computer, dressed like Rambo, just waiting to launch chaos. Those who disregard him do so at their peril.

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