blood will run through the streets

Senate Finance Committee Killing Death Panels?

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Trig will live after all! Suck a beanpole, Obama, because the Senate Finance Committee will apparently strip from its terrible hell-bill the provision to reimburse Medicare doctors who provide end-of-life counseling sessions. Chuck Grassley is the force behind this stripping, because holy shit, he had no idea that Obama was planning on killing him (“grandma”) with this provision! Which he was! The Senate Finance Committee health care bill will soon just be a massive tax cut for Wall Street investment banks and Montgomery Burns. [TPM]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • I-man

    Congrats! are in order. The conservatives won out in cutting out a provision that was introduced into the bill by a republican. Yay?

  • ManchuCandidate

    No wonder you guys don’t have any nice things. Perhaps citizenship should be based on cognition and intelligence. Sorry, if you don’t have either… Buh-bye!

  • Gopherit

    I think Senate Dems have some sort of weird Stockholm Syndrome that makes them keep bending over for the republicans. PSST….YOU GUYS ARE IN THE FUCKING MAJORITY! act like it please.

    Also, let the fucking doctors do the counseling sessions without medicare reimbursement. They helped push this shit. Let them choke on it.

  • takes12no1

    Grassley’s grandmother must be..what…300 years old?

  • Capitol Hillbilly

    The Democrats in the Senate are a bunch of neutered little sissies.

  • lionboy

    So now Granny will have to get her death tips from some back alley counselor who will show her how to end it all with household bleach and a coat

  • Buzz Feedback

    Damn. I was all ready to put Max in front of the Death Panel. Thumbs down, Sen. Big Head.

  • widget09

    OK, then I guess from this point on no one else ever dies, we just hook them up to artificial machines and replace any malfuncting organs with mechanical ones. “Remember the Schivo”.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Facepalm. Grassley=Dweebnut.

    Death is not something that only happens on the teevee and in video games. Ultra-meh.

  • WadISay

    At least thanks to this apparantly craven, spineless and dim-witted concession, town halls will return to civility, the Repubs will drop their opposition to the public option and America will unite behind its new President.

  • Todd Mecklem

    But…without Death Panels, how will we ever get rid of Wilford Brimley? I can’t watch another one of his commercials. I JUST CAN’T!

  • Hooray For Anything

    Congrats too in being able to get a provision taken out of some sort of bill by screaming really loudly all sorts of ridiculously wrong things about it. And congratulations to the press who once again were unable to do their job and tell people that something was ridiculously wrong. And, finally, congrats to the American Public for believing all sorts of ridiculously wrong things despite the fact they were patently fucking absurd.

    Bravo, everyone, bravo.

  • The Cold Sea

    Instead of pulling the plug on teh oldz, we should plug them in and use them to generate electricity instead of use it.

  • trickyrick

    [re=385622]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I guess you will ‘hooray for anything’, but this makes me so damn mad.

    Imagine, Sarah Palin WON.

    uck, I am so holy shit, I am mad.

  • eclecticbrotha

    This whole health care debate is proof we need the death panels for grandma, to keep her ass out of the people’s business. Also.

  • Maxine of Arc

    [re=385613]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: They prefer “testicularly-challenged man-children,” please. Have some sensitivity.

  • trickyrick

    [re=385620]WadISay[/re]: good in theory but it will not work in the age of Sarah Palin twittering facebook.

  • slappypaddy

    talk is cheap. now, if it’s not free, too fucking bad. we all die alone anyway, what is there to talk about? all anyone needs is a bottle of rye and a long walk into the cold night. if they’re too far gone to walk, just set ’em out back and let ’em be. nothing to talk about. no sense wasting those precious medical tax dollars.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Thank God I live in a country run by moronic, pants-shitting cowards. Thank you, Republicans!

  • Gopherit

    See, Grassley says it was all a misunderstanding, and sorry for suggesting it was obama wanted to kill Grammy. Fuckhead.

  • Todd Mecklem

    In the Finance Committee, at least, we now have government of, by, and for the hysterical wingnuts. I don’t think this process will end well.

  • trickyrick

    [re=385630]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Thank God I live in a country run by moranic, pants-shitting cowards. Thank you, Republicans and Democrats!

    (you had a typo, my favorite bunny)

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Big deal, the death panels will simply be put back into the conference committee report, along with the gaybortions and forced gay marriages. And FEMA re-education camps. I almost forgot the FEMA camps. But maybe I’m saying too much?

  • Paul Tardy

    So does that mean daddy cannot wheel granny into the death chamber and collect his inheritance. He said if the death panel went through we would bury granny in Disney land.

  • Longform

    Somebody should ask these fucks on record if they have living wills.

  • Cicada

    Yay! We shouldn’t be educating people about things like hospice vs. in-home care and living wills, anyway. Fear and confusion are the appropriate emotions to feel when dying. Peace of mind is for pussies.


  • finallyhappy

    I had to pay for my living will- and it was a lawyer, not a doctor, who did it . Most of the town hall screamers are going to drop dead at 43 from a heart attack or stroke, get shot by a drunk cousin or get burnt up by their own meth labs.

  • Gopherit

    [re=385641]Todd Mecklem[/re]: Including Baucus.

  • TGY

    So, the terrorists have finally won.

  • trickyrick

    [re=385679]TGY[/re]: Sarah Palin is their liberated leader.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=385624]trickyrick[/re]: That’s the kicker to the whole thing, that the “Death Panel” idea started with Sarah Palin posting it on her Facebook page (!) and now it’s become the big meme out there, meaning Sarah Palin can now go out and say she helped kill healthcare, or at least major parts of it, which will give her more credibility in the eyes of the wingnuts which means there’s even less chance that she’ll go away. The whole thing is just a lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose and lose for the rest of us.

  • m_supercomputer

    Well, fantastic. I think I can imagine the Republican party’s ads for 2010/2012: “Hey, America – you love your grandma, right? Enjoy seeing her? Well, you have heroes like Senator Grassley to thank for her being alive, because Republicans STOPPED THE EVIL OBAMA SOCIALISTIC DEATH PANELS.”

  • Dumptruck

    Curses, now I’ll never ever get to feast on the retarded Palin Child! My evil plans have been thwarted! Neeyar!!

  • imissopus

    Well at least he got the Dems to drop the provision before he had to go to Plan B: crying and holding his breath until he turned blue.

  • Mr Blifil

    Grassley is kind of an assley.

  • CorkPopper

    [re=385666]finallyhappy[/re]: Sadly, no. Thanks to their not-at-all-government-run Medicare, VA, disability and/or Social Security benefits, they will live long enough to bankrupt all the above programs before my cohort gets to retirement age. And annoy the living shit out of us as they drive slow in the fast lane and block the grocery store aisles on their rascals in the process.

  • momus

    Speak, Chuck, Speak!
    That’s it.
    Roll Over, Roll Over.
    Play Dead.

    Good boy!!!!!

  • aleks

    Congratulations Sen. Grassley, you have chosen the stupidity Palin was born with and your voters have thrust upon them.

  • Nerdalicious

    “YOU GUYS ARE IN THE FUCKING MAJORITY! act like it please.”
    Thank you! (See my rant last night about Assley & the whole lot of them)
    If the Dems are now negotiating over inane Death Panels that don’t even exist & recanting then they have already lost. It’s like they are admitting “Yes, we really did want to snuff granny so ok you of the Life Party win! We are murderers & we got caught. No Death Panels! It’s like telling Reagan the aliens are in our orbit & we can’t fight them with our STAR wars technology, & Reagan says “ok forget about STAR wars the aliens win!” Someone please change the game plan Dems & dogs are making fools of themselves & the idjets are winning! I don’t agree with the apparant plan to excise the bigot/stupid wound by letting the crazies physically attack older people with signs, strap guns to their thighs and verbally abuse the Congress. It’s NOT working.

  • gurukalehuru

    Fuck Chuck.

  • Sick Puppy

    Senator needs to smoke some grassley.

  • house of the blue lights

    [re=385622]Hooray For Anything[/re]: we are so fucked

  • aleks

    If the Democrats aren’t allowed to be total wimps who let the Republicans have their way on everything, what was even the point of the last two elections?

  • zippy123

    I heard that President Obama might be asking Bill Clinton to fly to Washington to meet with Sen Grassley to see if he can rescue the Death Panel bill.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=385629]slappypaddy[/re]: I’m with you. People get the end-of-life counseling they need already (if they have a doctor at all).

    My dad died Dec 26, 1995 (shittiest Xmas, ever). A month or two before, he had this chat with his doctor:

    Doc: “Well, you’re basically dying. We’re talking weeks, maybe a month. At this point it’s just a matter of deciding how much artificial support you want up to the end. Respirators, dialysis, defib machines, saline and morphine drips, catheters, breathing tubes, whatnot.”

    Dad: “Just the morphine, thank you.”

    Doc: “OK, we’ll have the hospice folks come by and set that up for you at home, if you prefer.”

  • Min

    Well, hell. There goes my health-care-themed Day of the Dead party.

  • BadKitty

    Obviously people only die because they’ve foolishly made health care directives and discussed end of life issues with their loved ones and/or doctors. If no one talked about death, it would never happen. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!

  • Pithaughn

    Something tells me Mr. O aint gonna go for this pulling the plug on pulling plugs. End of life care decision counseling is one of the most cost effective measures in the measure (you DC types correct me here if I have the wrong werds’s ). My father refused to consider doing this and you and I and even real ‘merikans spent many hundreds of thousands of dollars before he finally wised up and had an advanced directive done. Three or four times he got so sick he was in the ICU for weeks and weeks and then more weeks in a skilled nursing facility.
    Maybe he could have avoided all that torture ( if you ever spent more than a few days in a hospital you know torture is the right word )if his doctor had esplained that “heroic” life saving measures really means, and not just financially.
    At the end he hated himself because he burned through half of his savings and now his widow will have to live a life of poverty or nearly.
    She sure as shit aint renewing her golf membership.

  • DustBowlBlues

    WTF? First I read that some douche on Redass has explained that anyone, even Trigger, could be Barack O’bama’s grandmother. Now fucking little Trigger is Chuck Grassley’s grandmother that Sen. Cobfucker is protecting from the Democratic Death Ray Panels that Bible Spice warned us all about. A warning, my friend, Sen. Eat-High-Fructose-And-Die-For-Iowa took to his corn fed heart.

    I am so fucking confused! What the hell is up with Trigger? Hey–guy who makes annoying song lyrics to shit all the time–try this one on for size–“Trig, The Magic ‘Tard Baby.”

  • aleks

    Hooray! Now no one ever has to die, except in wars. We’re going to need a lot more wars. Hooray!

  • RushLickBall

    Why would I listen to my doctor at end of life when he hasn’t listened to me once throughout my life?

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=385625]eclecticbrotha[/re]: “death panels for grandma, to keep her ass out of the people’s business”

    As usual, it’s the old fucks who are screwing over everyone. The same old fucks who are sucking more out of social security and medicare than anyone else will and have put less into than anyone in current and future workforce will.

    Only the WWIIs are worse, and that’s said by someone who was raised by them. “We lived through the Depression, and won WWII and YOU want a ride to school?”

    I’m an old person, less than a year from getting my social security (yeah, suck it kids, I’m going for it the minute I hit 62 while there’s something left) but I’m not like that. I’m good, fairminded, civic minded, liberal, and I’m not like that.

    But still, it’s the old fucks. Has always been the old fucks. Really, who in their right mind wants to write the Death Panels out of Health Care Reform? When it would be so good for society to kill the old fucks. (Except for me, my husband and a few of our friends, of course. Just give us opium dens.)

  • Nerdalicious

    Sorry, about your Dad. It must have been terrible to go through. I’ve had relatives die during the holidays (including my Dad)

  • slappypaddy

    [re=385798]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: no snark here. my condolences. my parents are still alive, but they’re gettin’ on and every time the phone rings (i don’t get many calls) i think it may be the news.

  • problemwithcaring

    …This is good….The Senate should take out everything in the bill that the average “fucking redneck” wouldn’t understand.

  • Jukesgrrl

    My Mom downloaded a living will from the Internet several years ago. She checked a series of boxes that met her wishes, signed it, got two neighbors to witness her signature and sign, then she had it notarized. When she was in an ICU last year, the care manager asked me to bring in the living will if she had one. I took in the notarized form and the hospital accepted it. No doctor or lawyer was involved. All it cost her was a small fee to the notary (aka, the guy at the local UPS store). Sheeple, we should all do this! You might need a lawyer if you think you have relatives who will contest your wishes, but in my family’s case, the Internet serves.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    [re=385981]Jukesgrrl[/re]: That’s what intelligent people do. But if you want to take your chances of living year after dreary year as an inert vegetable, endlessly prolonging the grief and horror of your friends and family, why bother doing something so simple and rational?

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=385981]Jukesgrrl[/re], [re=385825]Pithaughn[/re]: Going online is a pretty good idea for all of us who are plugged in to things like the internet. But as Pithaughn has pointed out, many of our elderly – especially the poor elderly – posses neither the technology nor the requisite knowledge of their options to use it, which is where provisions like this come in. Additionally, making end-of-life decisions in terms of what medical care to choose can be extremely confusing, especially when your family may disagree with you and / or have their own interests (such as, say, your money). As someone who has worked with social workers and nurses involved in doing DEATH PANEL COUNSELING on the state (of Wisconsin) dime for low-income elderly, I can say unequivocally that it’s a good, necessary thing.

    Frankly, I find it incredibly hard to believe that any of these people – even our beloved Grifter – were dumb enough to actually believe that such clearly worded provisions in the bill were about death panels. – this reeks of public manipulation for petty political gain. I don’t even have anything hilariously snarky to say about it, because it actually makes me physically ill.

  • Carl Spakler

    Reallly…so the Corn King has flown back to DC, is sitting in a committee room all by his lonesome and gleefully red-penning the Senate committee bill. Who knew that one man wielded such awesome power…it’s almost, dare I say, Nazi-esque.

  • thefrontpage

    Isn’t it crazily stupid and psycho that all of these morons ranting and raving about “government-sponsored health care” will gladly, hungrily and arrogantly collect their Medicaid and Medicare payments and money—-which are government-sponsored, taxpayer-sponsored, tax-money-sponsored government health care?