RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:47 pm August 13, 2009

Whole Foods Weighs In On Health Care Debate, Because Honestly At This Point, Why Not?

by Riley Waggaman

  • Were you at Netroots Nation? Your Wonkette was not invited. But Matt Yglesias was, and he spoke on every panel covering every imaginable topic: Afghanistan, climate change, tax policy, amateur dentistry, LOLcats — everything. [Matt Yglesias]
  • “First Obama’s brownshirts came for the old people, but I was not an old person, so I said nothing. Then they came for Glenn Beck, but I was not Glenn Beck, so I did nothing. Then when they came for me, there was no one left to stand up for me.” [RedState]
  • There’s an old saying, on Wikiquotes, that “nothing is certain in life except death, taxes, and Matt Taibbi’s weekly anal probing of Goldman Sachs” (Mark Twain). Well guess what? [Matt Taibbi]
  • Barack Obama is going fishing, for cigarettes, in Montana. What will this slimeball do to Trig Palin next? [NYT/The Caucus]
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Hola wonkerados.

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sezme August 13, 2009 at 4:54 pm

I would be so freakin’ psyched if they came for Glenn Beck!

glamourdammerung August 13, 2009 at 4:55 pm

The irony of Red State crying about the free market deciding on Glenn Beck is amusing.

tootsieroll August 13, 2009 at 4:56 pm

I clicked on the Red State story and now I feel like I need a shower.

Min August 13, 2009 at 4:57 pm

It wasn’t the brownshirts. It was a couple of guys in white coats, because Glenn has finally gone completely off the deep end.

vitira August 13, 2009 at 4:57 pm

Oh intern Riley, this is a quite well written rumors. Keep up the good work, until the “Editors” throw you out on the street as is their wont.

The Station Manager August 13, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Then they came for Glenn Beck, but I was not a weeping dildo, so I did nothing.

ScubaDew August 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Dear Obama Brownshirts

Glenn Beck would never speak up for me, so take him to the gulags and shock his testicles to your heart’s delight.


Tommmcatt August 13, 2009 at 5:04 pm

I volunteer to violently kidnap and illegally imprison Glen Beck! Who’s with me?

widget09 August 13, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Why aren’t Obama’s brownshirt very visable? The Germans really know how to put the brown in brownshirts with the parades and beer halls and those o-so-wonderful rallies, boy, those were the days. I think Obama’s brownshirts must be kind of stealthy, like the tooth fairy, they sneak in in the middle of the night and randomly seek out Truthers/Birthers\Teabaggers\Paultards and wisk them away to FEMA death camps in Indianapolis. for some reason, nobody seems to miss them.

gurukalehuru August 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

I thought we were the purple shirts.

Joshua Norton August 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Whole Foods = Whole paycheck.

drrty martini August 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

A commenter on Redstate has a sad because Warren Buffet is a “crony capitalist”. I am getting really confused.

Native of SL UT August 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

What? Them asses didn’t invite Wonkette to a serious political forum? I don’t get it. What’s wrong with loopy bastards. We have plenty of opinions about stuff.

Joshua Norton August 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm


Well they are, but everyone thinks they’re UPS drivers.

widget09 August 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[re=385838]Joshua Norton[/re]: Right on, who would have ever suspected that?

qaf August 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Actually LOLcats is about the only subject of little enough importance that I’d be willing to listen to Yglesias, star of the Atlantic’s remake of Friends and serial mis-pronouncer of “bruschetta”.

Also, you left out a link for the Whole Foods CEO’s editorial in the WSJ, the one that’s going to cause them a lot of serious problems by pissing off 80% of the people who shop there. You tease.

tunamelt August 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Waggaman, you won me over with this.

Min August 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=385838]Joshua Norton[/re]: What can Brown do for you?

widget09 August 13, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=385884]Min[/re]: My neighbors are really nice, but somehow they are afflicted with the birther disease.

The Sea Farmer August 13, 2009 at 5:26 pm

from ted red state;

ColdWarrior Thursday, August 13th at 4:21PM EDT (link)

Ironically, Redstate displays both Progressive and GEICO web ads

I realize that perhaps that can’t be stopped.

I have Progressive. I put a call in to the CEO. Got the voice mail of one of his assistants. Left a detailed message that I was a soon-to-be-former customer if what I read here was true and I did not get a call back with an explanation that what I read here was not true.

Thank you.



The Station Manager August 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=385897]The Sea Farmer[/re]: Dear “ColdWarrior”;

The Cold War is over, motherfucker. Get a job.

Hugs & Kisses,
The Station Manager

slowuncle August 13, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Whole Foods has always been a joke; the usual corporate jackals not even putting that much effort into masquerading as progressives; glad to see their wingnut ceo letting his true colors fly!Anti-labor, anti-health care reform—might as well air his feelings about Obama’s Death Panels at this point.Anyway, here in Portland, OR, although we do suffer Wal Foods’ presence, only idiots actually shop there because we have a REAL progressive alternative called New Seasons Markets. They support locally grown organics and local-everything-else. Also.

AstronautDinosaurFiretruck August 13, 2009 at 5:38 pm

I like the implicit understanding that the conservative movement is comprised of:

1. Old People
2. Glenn Beck
3. The one dude who wrote that post on RedState who falls into neither category

geminisunmars August 13, 2009 at 5:52 pm

[re=385824]Tommmcatt[/re]: Eeewww. Just the thought of being in the physical proximity of Beck, violently or otherwise, makes me nauseated. But I support your constitutional right to violently kidnap and imprison him.

Paul Tardy August 13, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[re=385923]AstronautDinosaurFiretruck[/re]: To your conservative movement is comprised of list add anyone with a government pension.

hobospacejunkie August 13, 2009 at 6:17 pm

No other place in town sells Tofurky Jerky so I will continue to buy it at whole foods when my mail order case of it runs out. Whole Foods CEO is a dickhead? The sky is also blue. You don’t get to be a CEO by being a wonderful human being.

cheeto_jeebus August 13, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Here’s the problem. If you do by chance find that Glenn Beck has been in the trunk of your car for any extended period, that subtle smell like sour old socks worn by a dead cat may be difficult to get rid of. I suggest using a rental.

disgustedcitizen August 13, 2009 at 6:32 pm

I really wish the rightwingnuts would decide if Obama and his supporters were Nazis or Socialists. Damn it they can’t have it both ways!

geminisunmars August 13, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=385994]disgustedcitizen[/re]: Silly, he is an Elitist. Or as he himself would say: a Elitist.

slowuncle August 13, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Yes, the self-cancelling contradiction which is the the Tea-bagger Mind(!)is nowhere better illustrated than by the “Obama’s a Nazi/Communist” knee-slapper AND the “keep your gubmint hands offa my Medicare!” chestnut. Pure comedy gold !! These clowns NEVER stop inviting mockery!

masterdebater August 13, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Glen Beck doesn’t even like me! He’s on his own!

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 13, 2009 at 7:43 pm

“First Obama’s brownshirts came for the old people, but I was not an old person, so I said nothing. Then they came for Glenn Beck, but I was not Glenn Beck, so I did nothing. Then when they came for me, there was no one left to stand up for me.”

Assuming the “me” in that is RedState, shouldn’t this be celebrated?

But maybe RedState (note the singular) has a point: How dare anyone object to a half-crazed guy who lies a lot and calls the President a racist who hates white people? Next thing you know, they will object to any conservative if he or she says stupid, baseless, provocative things. And how can Conservatives have any power if everyone is laughing at them?

lawrenceofthedesert August 13, 2009 at 7:50 pm

One of the comments was about how libtards are trying to take control of the country; news of the last election seems to be arriving rather slowly to parts of the country. Or maybe nostalgia is simply too strong a drug.

TeddyS August 13, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Dear Sir (or Madam),

We picked up the old people without difficulty, because they run real slow. Then we got Glenn Beck, a pussy type who was crying in a corner. So you are next on the list. Not to worry. We are on the job, just kind of busy right now. Please send your address, so we can make this as easy as possible. Thank you.

Captain Rock Libtard,
Obama Brownshirt Regiment 12

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 6:20 am

[re=386101]TeddyS[/re]: You mean you are a UPS driver?

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