nation of hobos

New Data Shows Economy Still Sucks

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Will work painting hobo signs for foodRemember all that talk about how the unemployment rate fell by .1 percent last month and this proved, definitively, that happy days were here again? Remember all the sailors kissing ladies in the streets, and the wonderful ticker-tape parades? Well, everything has gone back to being terrible, according to New Statistics.

Foreclosures rose 7 percent between June and July. And initial unemployment claims increased to a seasonally adjusted 558,000 last week, instead of decreasing to 545,000, as analysts had expected.

So congratulations, you are ever so slightly less likely to have a house this month than you did a few months ago, particularly if you live in a place like Nevada. And if you still have a job you must hide it under your pillow every night, along with a six-shooter, to keep it safe from unemployed robbers.

Foreclosures rise 7 percent in July from June [AP]
Retail sales dip unexpectedly, jobless claims rise [AP]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Fucking Maths.

  • JamesMichaelCurley

    “Seasonally adjusted” means all the Santas are out of work.

  • x111e7thst

    Time to move to France (or Germany). They have economic growth and healthcare.

  • Jumping Jim

    At least the red assed Wingnuts have the Health Care issue to complain about instead.

  • Min

    I don’t know if I have room for my job under my pillow. That’s where I keep my retirement plan.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    It’s good to know that today sucks for people other than me. I fucking hate today. Today can eat a bag of fucking dicks.

  • P Drizzle

    I need to know how much protein is in a midsized bag of dicks so I can decide whether to beg for one when my unemployment runs out.

  • El Pinche

    We need more death panels. Less olds, less mouths to feed, mo money, dollah dollah bills yall.

  • Cape Clod

    Damn, and last week myself and my friends cracked open our last can of hobo beans to clebrate the return of good times. I’ll have to go back to hunting squirrels with my car.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    This will cheer you up.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, on the bright side we’re going to be so used to things sucking that when they really do get to be mildly okay we’ll think we’re in heaven. Well, except for the ones who got eaten, but that’s the luck of the draw.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=385306]Cape Clod[/re]: If your car is still capable of movement then you are not suffering enough. I’m afraid I must refer your case to your local Death Panel for further action.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=385306]Cape Clod[/re]: I’ll have to go back to hunting squirrels with my car.

    Doing it that way eliminates the need for a tenderizing marinade, but you rarely get a good filet.

    [re=385296]Min[/re]: You have a retirement plan that needs an entire PILLOW to cover it up? Fuckin’ bourgeoisie.

  • Don Juanquete

    Also seen lately:
    “Will work heckling town hall meetings for health insurance.”

  • chascates

    But France & Germany are seeing economic growth! If we go Socialist won’t we catch that wave?

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    But, but.. <a href=””Macy’s!

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=385334]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Fuckity fuck. HTML fail.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=385308]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Damn — even the good news is hollow and empty. Times are tough.

  • widget09

    Now all we need is that monster drought, like back in the 30’s, then at some point, we can go back to b/w Teevees, rotary dial phones and pretend we are in the great depression. Can you spare a dime buddy? Oh yeah, we might have to give up the interwebs too.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=385336]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I heard that they are opening a JCPenney in downtown Manhattan.

  • Tommmcatt

    No matter what, I still have my nylon tent and chamberpot. Thank you, Herbert Hoover!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Wait, no one complained about “data” being plural? No one? I HATE THIS LIFE.

  • Chickensmack

    [re=385288]x111e7thst[/re]: and think that most of the wingnuts will be left behind, because they’ve been so attached to this “English Only, You Fucking Wetback!” approach.

    if only they’d learned more Spanish than “puta“, they could move with you!

  • Patty Dumpling

    All this means is that the people we hired in July were all house repo-men. They reclaimed an extra 7% of our houses last month and then were laid off, having run out of empty houses. Green shoots!

  • DrThunderer

    [re=385282]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: I don’t understand. What does “all the Santas” mean? Why are you referring to the big man in plural?

  • Jim89048

    [re=385336]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: The article is rather coy about just how many fucking JOBS they cut to make their tidy little profit possible?

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=385342]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I have yet to figure out JCP. Practically everybody else in retail is watching profits swirl down the toilet, cutting stores, eviscerating payrolls, etc., while JCP is busy sprouting up stores and putting out some unbelievably lame advertising. What do they know that the rest of retail Murkkka doesn’t?

  • slappypaddy

    yeah, the economy sucks —

    but there is good news! it’s learning to swallow!

  • Cape Clod

    [re=385318]x111e7thst[/re]: It’s a ’63 Corvair with holes in the floor that allows me to propel it Flinstones-style. Still unsafe at any speed.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=385352]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: It’s called “skirts that were originally $35 that are now marked down to $1.99”. Where I grew up, all we had was JCPenney (OK, there was a Lamont’s on one side of town, but that was a bit of a drive), and I can verify that while almost everything they have sucks, it can be easy to get pulled into buying things because everything is always 98% off. Never mind that Old Navy has the same crappy stuff for the same prices.

    Apparently the store in Manhattan is all fancy, with real (not plastic) mirrors, nice paint, and little boutiques throughout the store. Honestly, though, I feel it’s a brand (rather like Sears) that could use a new name.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=385319]user-of-owls[/re]: It does make for an excellent tartare, however.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=385406]Cape Clod[/re]: So true. Especially delicious with a boysenberry and crank case oil reduction.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Even during the worst of the Great Depression 75% of workers were employed. That’s a pretty big number!

  • trickyrick

    [re=385351]Jim89048[/re]: oh snap!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=385308]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
    Stupid MG. Where’s the link?

  • populucious

    The cushy public sector job I’ve clung to for 10+ years b/c of the good benefits and JOB SECURITY just announced they’re laying people off, so I would say it’s fair to continue worrying about the shitty state of affairs.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Yeah, empty.
    Sorry Ms. Fun.

  • bitchincamaro

    *taking nurse’s outfit and sailor suit back to costume shop*


  • Paul Tardy

    ticker-tape parades – I thought Sullenberger would get one, except MONYC Bloomberg as a matter of principle does not honor anyone that will not receive a civil service pension.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=385344]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: “Data” is the plural of “datum” in Latin (neutral nominative), which is why Wonkette classicists were not alarmed. One rarely sees the singular used in everyday English. However, Wonketeers might have been shocked that someone accused Bloomberg of principles. Is there a datum to support the claim?

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=385417]hobospacejunkie[/re]: And yet FDR went ahead with all that New Deal stuff anyways. Fucking Soclialist

    [re=385288]x111e7thst[/re]: Not to mention the French don’t have much in the way of raging gun-carrying white-trash morans. Well, they had Le Pen and they have the Algerians but at least their raging white-trash morans are civilized and know good wine and cheese and drink espressos. Our morans can’t even get our liquor and cheese right.

  • Uncle Glenny

    Yum – squirrel saltimbacco ala romano

    [re=385545]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Nerd1

  • Aurelio

    Sara, you need a lesson in Economics 101. Unemployment is a lagging indicator. By 2010, when we have fascism and forced work camps, there will be full employment. Not to worry.

  • Carly

    unemployment ..i think we will recover soon..and by that time read on this report..