Wonkette
Many moons ago, when your Wonkette was edited by a fresh-faced young lad named David Lat, a contest was held to determine the very hottest White House Hottie of all. And some gal named Taylor Hughes, who had been photographed having outdoor hand sex with Karl Rove, was crowned the winner in the female division.
Which was cute and doubtless flattering to Ms. Hughes, to have this honor bestowed upon her by the greasy-faced hangnailed troglodytes who read the Wonkette while fantasizing about someday making love to a non-inflatable woman. But who knew that this admittedly minor event would eventually end up in the Congressional record?
Thank you to a highly placed and extremely influential government source for pointing us to this important bit of history. That person has been granted permanent anonymity and 4,000 acres of land in Paraguay directly adjacent to the Bush family compound.
Unofficial Transcript: Interview of Karl C. Rove, Tuesday, July 7, 2009, Washington, D.C.
“So I will not tell her you called her a he.” You just think everything is funny don’t you Karl Rov.
“greasy-faced hangnailed troglodytes who read the Wonkette”
That’s only the GUYS who read Wonkette. The women are socially adept, well adjusted, and pretty darn witty and insightful.
I read that as a contest to find the hottest house staffers who were white, and assumed that Wonkette was pretty racist back in the day.
Q: WELL THEN S/HE SHOULDN’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE USELESS FUCKING UNISEX YUPPIE-ASS NAMES
A: That’s not really a question.
Rove spelled Wonkette correctly, most impressive.
Now, what’s this about non-inflatable women?
What? Karl reads Wonkette? The famous political insult comic blog?
Yeah, like we are any judge of beauty. We still think Ken and George Clooney were twins separated at birth. (Well, maybe the Arnold Schwarzenegger/Danny Devito variety twins, but otherwise….) Besides, I am still bitter that Meghan O’Sullivan didn’t win.
Hey KKKKarl! Read this, douchenozzle! I hope every once in a while you get to be the husband in Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison!
And what does lovely Ms. Hughes have to say about this flabby gasbag these days?
Clearly, Liz Becton is still pissed that she was ineligible for this contest.
which one of our fellow troglodytes is actually Rove?
p.s. non-inflatable?!?
Karl Rove with a hot white chick. Well at least, one not tied up for interrogation is disgusting to say the least. Karl Rove doesn’t appear to be a man who could obtain sex, even with large amounts of money. Well, he does have lots and lots of money though. Lots of money to be made destroying a country.
Like we say around here. “Man! If that ain’t enough to gag a maggot.”
queeraselvis v 2.0: Who told you Liz Becton is ineligible? Whoever gave you that information is not your friend.
Wait, is Taylor Hughes not inflatable? I want my vote back.
Oh those buoyant halcyon days of ought six, when Master Rov was the great and might discerner of teh hawtness. Of course he had to find it here in little ol’ Wonketteland. Methinks I’m blush like Lady Nooningfield. Forsooth he spied teh hawtness and it was so. All so very so.
Oh, like I’m going to forsake my pictorial women for some fancy, 3-diamond, uptown inflatable women.
I knew it.
Karl = Shorts^3
Ms. Hughes is now attending SMU for an MBA. The same SMU that is going to have the Bush library. And after leaving the employ of the White House she did a stint at Goldman Sachs.
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/taylor-hughes/4/754/b37
Woah, buried somewhere in the 291 pages of this document, Wonkette has grabbed a bit of history.
Today, we are all history, as ’twere.
Taylor Hughes sounds porny.
WadISay: But there’s nothing like the self-loathing tears you get when fucking a balloon.
chascates:
In Texas, SMU is where you go if you can’t get into UT or TAMU. Then you spend a lot of time talking about how UT is full of hippie liberals and TAMU is nothing put Petroleum Engineering and marching in formation.
In that pic of Taylor and Karl she has her White House paperwork pressed up tightly against her bosom. I’m going to pose my inflatable woman that way today with pretend White House paperwork.
Not jackable.
greasy-faced hangnailed troglodytes who read the Wonkette while fantasizing about someday making love to a non-inflatable woman.
I BEG to differ, SKS. For the record, I fantasize about making love to a non-inflatable replica of Zac Efron while reading Wonkette. Just so.
On the positive side, inflatable women never insist that you take them to Hugh Jackman movies.
I’ll have you know I am not greasy-faced, thank you very much.
Terry: SMU (pronounced smoo) is where you go when you have far more money than smarts.
Or so I’ve heard.
If one goes to the google to find a picture of said lady, and clicks on the one in wonkette, one finds that the wonkette backpages are failing: your wonkette archives will self-destruct in 5 … 4 …
Hey! This is the same Wonkette tracked by the library of Congress. Of course it is on the reading list of very famous politicos/d-bags.
Can’t a man eat his migas without picturing beast sex with neohippopotamus Karl Rove? I know one thing, I wouldn’t want to be one of his male hookers.
Looks the Judiciary Committee may need her for an oral deposition.
If outdoor hand sex with Karl Rove is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.
Is it weird if hearing Rove still makes me die inside?
Let’s see… so that’s high-level Bush administration officials, the entire staff of The Daily Show, and greasy-faced hangnailed troglodytes… wow, if that isn’t the most redundant list ever.
C’mon all you trogs!
You know you thought: “I’d hit it.”
I haven’t seen a woman in over 3 years!
Tis a lonely men filled life at sea I lead.
cotr: No, it shows you are still intellectually functioning.
The Sea Farmer: What’s your phone number?
OMG, Karl Rove is ChiefPayne?
This year’s contest: Vote for Karl Rove’s ugliest genital wart.
No wonder there’s melancholy in the air.
nbawriter:
Gee, I can’t wait for that contest. I’m voting for Kodos. Failing that, Mr Gannon of the Male Hustler Times.
norbizness: Ha!
Reminds me of a true “crying game” deposition my law partner conducted:
Q: So did you know that Tina used to be Tony?
A: You mean?
Q: Yes.
A: [pause] She’ll always be a woman to me.
ManchuCandidate: Oh nice job, Manchu. You know as soon as you speak the troll’s verboten name, it’s BOUND to appear.
nbawriter: His head will somehow win this competition yet again. Either that or the “most resembling unbaked cookie dough” contest.
I feel violated.
My, um, friend, who apparently watches his fair share of adult entertainment, saw that photo and said that Ms. Hughes apparently reminds him of adult film star Jenna Haze. Being 100% pure and only watching G rated films, I can’t comment, but wanted to pass that along.
Terry: Those are not mutually exclusive features. Its just not Hawt.
Besides, I am still amazed that someone who looks like they are well into Stage 3 of the transformation to Cheney Zombie could actually win that contest.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Agreed. I take offense as well. I’m currently commenting from a life-size diorama of a Jonas Brothers concert.
Dave J.:
Yes, she does. Tell, ahem, your friend that he is right and she does indeed look like the aforementioned Ms. Haze. It was tough because you can’t see the back of her head…
El Pinche: Yeah, Karl’s breasts probably are big enough for that.
Oh, you said “beast”…
queeraselvis v 2.0: Actual I think if you speak his name you no longer have to spin straw into gold and you get your first born baby back.
I resent being called a hangnailed troglodyte. My nails have been neatly manicured for years.
I’d say that she won the “honor” fair-and-square.
There are non-inflatable women?
Ah, the Hotties Contest, back when Wonkette was a reliable news source.
Today, we are all greasy-faced hangnailed troglodytes who read the Wonkette.
AnnieGetYourFun: No, it’s not, you idiot. You’re off your game today. And every day.
WIDTAP: You’ve been reading from Sarah Palin’s memoirs again, haven’t you?
Wait, does this mean that Karl Rove killed John Hughes?! Was Ben Stein involved, too? Anyone? Anyone?
President Obama needs to convene a Breakfast Panel immediately in order to get to the bottom of this!
I cannot use as masturbation material anyone who that has been that close to Turdblossom. Even greasy-faced hangnailed troglodytes have standards….
Madeline: Weren’t we all…..
Wonkette won the morning?
Proof once again that only unctuous reptilian douchebags read Wonkette back then. I’ll cop to unctuous, but reptilian? Never.
Norbert: Everybody knows Karl posts under the handle “Fluffy Biscuits”, the affectionate nickname given to him by one time lover, Dick Armey.
Today, we are all Karl Rove sockpuppets on Wonkette.
My guess? Tony the Tiger.
I voted for Dina Powell, who at least beat Fran Townsend. She was kind of late Joan Crawford, sorta?
Uuhhnn…cave love is good love.