IT'S REALLY THIS EASY  7:25 pm August 12, 2009

‘I am Kenneth Gladney. You are Kenneth Gladney. Remember, we all are Kenneth Gladney.’

by Jim Newell

We literally received this e-mail in our tips box a few minutes ago, and maybe it’s a joke (?), but for now we’ll just assume that Kenneth Gladney is the biggest whore in history. Like 100 times more whorish than Joe the Plumber and the world’s entire collection of actual street-walking prostitutes combined.

St. Louis, Missouri August 12, 2009 — Kenneth Gladney thanks everyone for their outpouring of support and well wishes. After he recovers from his injuries, Kenneth plans to travel across the country to promote Project Liberty, a new educational program designed to teach America’s youth about their fundamental rights under the Constitution.

Kenneth will inform young people about his experiences on the fateful night of August 6, 2009 at Rep. Russ Carnahan’s town hall meeting in South St. Louis and how it changed his perspectives on individual liberties in today’s society. Along with Kenneth, Constitutional law experts will explain the Bill of Rights to students in an interactive format that is both entertaining and educational.

To Kenneth, Project Liberty is not about Left versus Right nor Democrats versus Republicans. This cause is about personal liberties and freedom of speech.

“Project Liberty will sweep across this great nation to unite people for the common cause of protecting our individual liberties,” said Kenneth.

Kenneth wants to make it clear that Project Liberty is not funded by any special interest group or political party. Kenneth vows never to accept funds from any of these sources. Project Liberty is “people-powered.” As with any endeavor of this magnitude, there are costs associated with this. If you would like to help defray these costs in this fight for liberty, stand up with Kenneth and donate today. Please visit Kenneth’s website at www.iamkennethgladney.com

I am Kenneth Gladney. You are Kenneth Gladney. Remember, we all are Kenneth Gladney.

Contact:
David Brown, Attorney
(314) XXX-XXXX
iamkennethgladney@gmail.com

Amazing. There’s a PayPal link on the bottom of his (lawyer’s) very exciting website, too.

Must send to Obama…

[I Am Kenneth Gladney]

 
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{ 130 comments }

shadowMark August 12, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Plucky Kenneth Gladney.

chascates August 12, 2009 at 7:29 pm

I am Kenneth Gladney is the new Who is John Galt.

Min August 12, 2009 at 7:31 pm

But what if I don’t want to be Kenneth Gladney?

SayItWithWookies August 12, 2009 at 7:32 pm

He’s going to tour the country teaching people about the Bill of Rights? Does he even know anything about them? Oh, wait — I forgot, this is America. Carry on.

Tommmcatt August 12, 2009 at 7:36 pm

“I am Kennith Gladney, Human Dildo”.

stratonike August 12, 2009 at 7:36 pm

I can’t tell if it’s my sense of righteous indignation that makes me want to slap him, or my IBEW membership. I’m so confused!

SmutBoffin August 12, 2009 at 7:37 pm

“Invite Kenneth Gladney to chat”

Jim, you MUST do this!

LittlePig August 12, 2009 at 7:37 pm

After he recovers from his injuries, Kenneth plans to travel across the country to promote Project Liberty

Then I guess we won’t have to worry about him for several months. He’s probably still in the ICU.

Brave, brave, Sir Gladney…

The Station Manager August 12, 2009 at 7:38 pm

I am Kenneth Gladney. You are Kenneth Gladney. Remember, we all are Kenneth Gladney.

God, my life just started to really fucking suck, like, huge, sweaty, disgusting hobo balls.

honkyman August 12, 2009 at 7:39 pm

I AM THE EGGMAN. YOU ARE THE EGGMAN. WE ARE ALL THE EGGMAN.

SomeNYGuy August 12, 2009 at 7:41 pm

I am Kenneth Gladney, and — Mein Fuehrer — I can walk!

mcc August 12, 2009 at 7:42 pm

When will the persons accused of assaulting Gladney actually be charged/tried?

KBO August 12, 2009 at 7:42 pm

First of all, this dude was just some guy hawking “Don’t Tread On Me” flags at Tea Party rallies. I would bet you a million bucks he was selling Obama buttons in November.

Secondly, I was at Claire McCaskill’s town hall forum yesterday outside of St Louis, where I saw more than one teabagger wearing “I AM GLADNEY” buttons. I laughed in some dude’s face when I saw it. Political prop, nothing more.

Gopherit August 12, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Thanks for the email listing. Kenneth Gladney is going to find himself a new subscriber to lots of freedom-loving publications.

LittlePig August 12, 2009 at 7:43 pm

We Gladneys are an interesting breed,
serious cash-for-nothing is what we need.
Ask any Gladney and he’ll say,
Only shameless whoring works that way.

I’m a Gladney, he’s a Gladney
And if working makes you sad-ney
You will find that you’re a Gladney, too.

shortsshortsshorts August 12, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=384863]Gopherit[/re]: YOU EVIL BASTARD. Kenneth deserves SO MUCH MORE than spam. Hopefully, the FEMA train will stop by.

SmutBoffin August 12, 2009 at 7:47 pm

SWEET BLOODY JESUS WITH A HELICOPTER HAT why is there a tattooed cancer patient kissing him on the top of the head on that shitty waste of electrons he calls a website?

Pilate August 12, 2009 at 7:50 pm

Joe the Victim Of Union Mobs. Gotta ring to it.

assistant/atlas August 12, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Please do not smear the good name of actual street-walking prostitutes. Unlike this guano faucet, prostitutes provide a valuable service.

RoscoePColtraine August 12, 2009 at 7:51 pm

When Kenneth gets tired of this internet scheme, he will have recording artist, foreign TV correspondent, author, and political strategist to try out for a couple of days.

glamourdammerung August 12, 2009 at 7:51 pm

I am not Kenneth Gladney.

I have some dignity, as well as a job.

Gopherit August 12, 2009 at 7:52 pm

[re=384866]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: With kenneth’s obvious deficiencies, I’m surprised they haven’t already put him in front of a Death Panel.

ifthethunderdontgetya" August 12, 2009 at 7:53 pm

…or now we’ll just assume that Kenneth Gladney is the biggest whore in history.

Doesn’t this make Andy Breitbart the biggest pimp?
~

DustBowlBlues August 12, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Is this like having a Mormon get baptized in your name so you have to be a Mormon in heaven? Except you’re not dead yet. I don’t even know who this dickwad is, but I know I’m not him. For one thing, he’s a whoring asshat and I’m not. If anyone is dumb enough to give this guy money, they deserve to be fleeced.

Paul Tardy August 12, 2009 at 8:03 pm

In the future please avoid posting about people that do not have wikipedia pages unless they are anonymous tasering victims.

DustBowlBlues August 12, 2009 at 8:03 pm

[re=384868]SmutBoffin[/re]: “SWEET BLOODY JESUS WITH A HELICOPTER HAT”

I don’t know what’s better, the creativity of the helicopter hat or the appropriate all caps. I salute you’re continuity, sir.

Extemporanus August 12, 2009 at 8:04 pm

I’d like to add something to my earlier comment:

YOU BASTARDS!

ifthethunderdontgetya" August 12, 2009 at 8:10 pm

Kenneth Gladney / Ashley Todd 2012!
~

AbstinenceOnly Ed August 12, 2009 at 8:11 pm

I wanna stab this guy in the gladney.

crazedhippie August 12, 2009 at 8:11 pm

“but for now we’ll just assume that Kenneth Gladney is the biggest whore in history. Like 100 times more whorish……….

Isn’t every repuke a fuckin whore or pimp anyway?

4tehlulz August 12, 2009 at 8:15 pm

WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY KENNETH?

skutre August 12, 2009 at 8:18 pm

If somebody actually hit him, it wasn’t hard enough to make him a Gladley Donor.

Funny, there’s not a police report on this.

El Pinche August 12, 2009 at 8:20 pm

Hahaha, I knew these idiot assholes would make him a martyr.

rocktonsammy August 12, 2009 at 8:20 pm

After he recovers from his injuries…

If there is a God, Kenneth will have a new set of injuries to deal with.

hobospacejunkie August 12, 2009 at 8:21 pm

Ahem. What’s the frequency, Kenneth, you opportunistic fuckwit.

Advocatus_Diaboli August 12, 2009 at 8:24 pm

So a guy who had to take up a collection to pay his medical bills is now going to lecture US merikans on the evils of socialized medicine?

Jesus, I don’t even need to drink anymore to get my mind so fucked up.

hobospacejunkie August 12, 2009 at 8:24 pm

[re=384897]4tehlulz[/re]: Jinx. I swear I read all the comments before posting, but I read slowly, obviously. I owe you some coke. Or an 8-ball.

Nerdalicious August 12, 2009 at 8:24 pm

“Do not go gentle into that good night,(Kenneth Gladney)
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;(Medicare Mobs i.e.: Death Panels)
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”(Kenneth Glandney)
~Dylan Thomas/Blago

iantenna August 12, 2009 at 8:24 pm

i’m holding out for the william kostric speaking tour, thank you very much.

ifthethunderdontgetya" August 12, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=384906]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Hey, the cost of one Ace bandage is sky high these days.

Thanks to those damn ambulance chasing lawyers (cough Dave Brown).
~

Nerdalicious August 12, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Chuck Assley spits in Prez’s face, when Prez made a kind comment about Assley’s bipartisanshipness at the NH hate hall yesterday! Now Chuck Assley makes a big announcement today that he has seen the death panels and they are going to be all the rage. The worst back stabbing I have ever seen. Bipartisan nonsense over NOW. Insurance/Pharmaceutical Companies OWN all blue dogs & rethugs.

obfuscator August 12, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Your mom is Kenneth Gladney. OH SNAP.

Mahousu August 12, 2009 at 8:32 pm

I thought this guy was joking, but I just checked my birth certificate (long form, thank you very much), and he’s right!

If you’ve got one (unlikely with this librul crowd), pull it out – down there, in the fine print, it clearly states: “Disregarding all the above, the child’s name is, in fact, Kenneth Gladney.”

J August 12, 2009 at 8:33 pm

Kenneth Gladney is the new black.

Hooray For Anything August 12, 2009 at 8:35 pm

[re=384906]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: He’s actually a pretty good expert in how get health care without paying for it– all you need to do is to “get beaten up by ACORN” and plenty of fellow of conservatives will help pay your bill. It’s just that easy.

Advocatus_Diaboli August 12, 2009 at 8:36 pm

[re=384909]ifthethunderdontgetya [/re]: Jesus, some of my best friends are ambulance chasing lawyers and that dude doesn’t even deserve the label.

http://washingtonindependent.com/54511/gladneys-lawyer-hes-unemployed-insured-and-making-money-from-the-alleged-attack

Nerdalicious August 12, 2009 at 8:36 pm

Assley even repeats pulling the plug on grandma nonsense.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/12/grassley-endorses-death-p_n_257677.html

magic titty August 12, 2009 at 8:44 pm

I don’t want to be no Kenneth nothing.
Fuck you, home slice.

ifthethunderdontgetya" August 12, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=384920]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: To be fair to your friends, Dave Brown didn’t chase an ambulance.

He was there working the crowd (and cops) before hand, and there never was an ambulance anyway.

But Shirley someone must have given the fine advice to Kenneth the Brutally Beaten™ to check himself into a hospital emergency ward, and to emerge the next day in a wheelchair. Also.

If Kenneth Gladney truly wants to inspire me, he will jump a shark in that wheelchair.
~

x111e7thst August 12, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=384879]DustBowlBlues[/re]: If this whore wants money then he needs to get his ass out on the stroll. At $5/blow job it should not take him more than a couple of years to finance the medical care he undoubtedly needs after being so brutally assaulted.

facehead August 12, 2009 at 8:46 pm

[re=384857]honkyman[/re]: YOU can be the eggman, I got dibs on the walrus.

Oldskool August 12, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Sure but does he drive a pickup. You sir, are no Joe The Fucking Plumber.

azw88 August 12, 2009 at 8:47 pm

US Constitution said he was 3/5 a person…. and his IQ confirms that fact.

JooJoo Bee August 12, 2009 at 8:49 pm

It’s at times like this that I ponder the fact that Librulls don’t have guys like this. Oh God — wait! Do you think this is what we’re doing WRONG?

Joshua Norton August 12, 2009 at 9:12 pm

I’ve got the feeling that he “falls down” a lot. And he happens to have his ambulance chasing attorney present whenever it happens. Next stop, the escalator at Macy’s. Then onto a convenient puddle of milk at Safeway. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

lee hussein oswald August 12, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Is this the same “Carnahan” who, while dead, defeated John Ashcroft in the 2000 senatorial elections? I remember one Carnahan being dead and another Carnahan winning (though I’m fairly sure they were of opposite genders!). The son, perhaps?

Anyhoo, I wouldn’t worry, Russ. Your family has a good record of surviving despite (a) death, (b) winning an election as the WIDOW of a dead senatorial candidate, and (c) running against people such as John Ashcroft.

Carry on.

shadowMark August 12, 2009 at 9:28 pm

[re=384935]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Oh yeah. Wait. He also believes that Sarah Palin quit as governor of Alaska because she refused to take part in a national FEMA exercise that was really going to be a front for a new 9/11-type terrorist attack on the US last month. In his world Sarah Palin is a Watchmen.

shadowMark August 12, 2009 at 9:34 pm

[re=384943]shadowMark[/re]: Argh! Sorry Wonkette comment writers. This was supposed to be in the LaRouche story. Oops. I blame, uh, someone

gradgrind August 12, 2009 at 9:52 pm

“. . . explain the Bill of Rights to students in an interactive format that is both entertaining and educational.” This ought to go well.

“OK, kids, for our next interactive demo we’ll need some volunteers. Are you ready for some waterboarding, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hosers to the left, hosees to the right.”

Hey, if habeas corpus weren’t for pussies, it wouldn’t have such a French name. Isn’t that right, Kenneth Gladney? Answers from any and all Kenneth Gladneys cheerfully accepted.

EnBuenOra August 12, 2009 at 9:53 pm

PLEASE GO ON TOUR WITH NOT JOE THE NOT PLUMBER AND ALSO THE LADY WITH THE BURF CERTIFAT IN THE BAG!!!! PLEEEEEEEAASE!!!

SomeNYGuy August 12, 2009 at 10:02 pm

Gladney the cross I’d bear.

Jumping Jim August 12, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Gladney and Cheney rhyme.

Have we seen Dick lately?

I’m just sayin’

Hedley Lamar August 12, 2009 at 10:16 pm

I’m Kenneth Gladney and I approved this massage. I’m sure that Pfizer helped him spell the big words.

kapish August 12, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=384904]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
The frequency is 5.070 MHz. And if this fuckwad Kenneth Gladney isn’t on, some other fuckwad Kenneth Gladney will be.

Buzz Feedback August 12, 2009 at 10:31 pm

Dear Kenneth: Plz fukk off & die.

trickyrick August 12, 2009 at 10:36 pm

I thought they keep killing Kenny almost evey week. I do not want to be him.

dijetlo August 12, 2009 at 10:48 pm

Conservatives…right about the time they run out of teh crazy, they dip into the stupid and just keep coming.
Watching the Republican base acting out on national TV is a lot like watching a troupe of rabid monkeys trying to fuck a football.
You laugh at them, sure.
You ridicule them, of course
but as you watch them rolling around in a sticky, gooey, foamy monkeypile, trying desperately to penetrate thier true loves air valve with their tiny simian weens, you develop a certain grudging respect for their…I don’t know…unity of purpose?
So God bless those tiny weened, rabid simian, Republicans and all the amusing foolishness they get up to because while Democrats may not have all the answers, at least they aren’t trying to fuck a football…well, as far as we know.

Athar August 12, 2009 at 10:50 pm

Wouldn’t it be a hoot if some of the same Wingnuts show up at Kenny’s educational seminars and they shout so loud nobody can hear anything he has to say.

Que miras, cabron! August 12, 2009 at 11:13 pm

Quick, get the video to Bill Frist so that he can determine whether Kenny is in a persistent vegetative state! Worked for Terri Schiavo.

Car Ramrod August 12, 2009 at 11:15 pm

[re=384974]dijetlo[/re]: …rolling around in a sticky, gooey, foamy Santorum

Fixed that for you.

TheObject August 12, 2009 at 11:17 pm

The first rule of Project Liberty is you do not talk about Project Liberty.

Bearbloke August 12, 2009 at 11:33 pm

[re=384974]dijetlo[/re]:ARE YEW READY FOR SUM FOOTBA-…ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

desertwind August 12, 2009 at 11:36 pm

I hope his gladneys fail.

ivenson August 12, 2009 at 11:42 pm

[re=384909]iantenna[/re]: Speaking and SHOOTING.

villageatrois August 12, 2009 at 11:48 pm

[re=384861]mcc[/re]: According to KWMU (St. Louis Public Radio), six were arrested. http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/kwmu/news.newsmain/article/1/0/1540625/KWMU.News/Protestors.demand.justice.for.man.injured.at.health.care.forum According to later information, two have been charged with assault. In St. Louis, the public debate is about whether this is a “hate crime”, because on video, you can hear assaulters calling Gladney “nigger”.

Ozma August 12, 2009 at 11:57 pm

Gladney is not Joe the Plumber. He is Amy Todd II. Fox News has had this guy on 24/7 since the so-called ‘incident’, playing snippets of video taken on the scene, and acting as if it supports Gladney’s story. It absolutely does not.

Gladney has been featured on O’Reilly, Fox News Live. Cavuto, and countless other Fox shows, claiming that he was attacked by 4 SEIU ‘thugs’, thrown to the ground and repeatedly kicked in the face, head, back and knees.

The original, uncut video is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWnxlFbYjVY

At the top of the video, you can see a guy on the ground, seriously injured. He is wearing a purple SEIU t-shirt, and his name is Reverend Elston McCowan. According to the SEIU, his shoulder was dislocated in the incident.

Gladney can be seen wearing a baggy light tan polo shirt and shorts. There is nothing in the video to suggest that he was beaten or kicked or in any way injured. To the contrary, after his supposed ‘vicious beating’, Gladney is walking around, apparently uninjured. His clothes are neat and unmussed, and his face appears on camera in closeup with no visible injuries. He is walking normally, with no suggestion of a limp, or of being in pain. There are no visible bruises or cuts that might be expected if someone was thrown to the ground and kicked by four (or even one) ‘union thug’.

He appeared the following day at a protest in front of the St. Louis, MO SEIU headquarters in a wheelchair, swathed in bandages.

PLEASE keep looking into this. Fox, Andrew ‘I am Kenneth Gladney’ Breitbart, and every right wing website has run with this story for the last week, decrying of Obama’s SEIU jackbooted shock troops. This reeks of setup to me.

If we can prove an ‘Amy Todd’ level hoax, which seems to be the case, it could shut down this particular thread of insanity.

Takers?

mookworthjwilson August 12, 2009 at 11:57 pm

[re=384989]villageatrois[/re]: Can it be a hate crime if you just hate someone for their personality???

Ozma August 13, 2009 at 12:04 am

[re=384989]villageatrois[/re]:

I played this video several times over. Where do you hear the word ‘nigger’? Because I didn’t hear it. In fact, I saw nothing on the tape that supports Gladney’s story.

Personally, I hope he sues. I would love to see what evidence he brings for his charges.

Mr Blifil August 13, 2009 at 12:18 am

Anybody gonna ask Gladney if he’s being sued by the dude who’s shoulder he separated, the one who claims Gladney attacked him first in an unprovoked fashion? No…didn’t think so.

tootsieroll August 13, 2009 at 12:22 am

[re=384992]Ozma[/re]: I wish someone would. (It was Ashley Todd, I think, not Amy, btw.)

The fact that the world we live in now, a major network would deliberately manipulate images to obfuscate the truth… to further their agenda, and then allow some lying piece of shit douchebag to cash in on his 15 minutes.

Now I understand why so many Wonketteers were heading off to drink heavily or wondering if the death panels were a good idea earlier. It’s so fucking pathetic. They are all evil. And when you try to argue with the wingnuts they have twist everything around and manage to blame it back on the liberals, and you’re just like… “WTF?”

Sorry. I’ve had wine. And cheap cheese dip.

S.Luggo August 13, 2009 at 12:27 am

Kenneth Gladney, are we not men?

ante meridiem August 13, 2009 at 12:34 am

He FELL DOWN and after the third day GOT BACK UP for your sins!

Ozma August 13, 2009 at 12:45 am

[re=385001]tootsieroll[/re]:

I stand corrected. Is it a good thing that my memory of the B-Girl is slowly fading?

Dead serious: If making Breitbart and EVERY SINGLE FOX ANCHOR look like the weak, hysterical clowns they are is not enough motivation…

I’m wondering if Gladney or his attorney, David Brown, have any kind of track record in Republican dirty tricks circles.

tootsieroll August 13, 2009 at 12:48 am

[re=385002]S.Luggo[/re]: We are Devo!

villageatrois August 13, 2009 at 1:06 am

[re=384996]Ozma[/re]: “I played this video several times over. Where do you hear the word ‘nigger’? ”

On local TV. I live in the St. Louis area. Once again, this is a serious issue here. St. Louis has a history of domination by unions, Democrats, Mafia, and their alliance with the majority Black population. When these forces collide, viz., Black Democrats hire union thugs, a fight would be expected. When they beat up a Black guy on TV, that’s severely not OK. Listen to St. Louis radio or TV. I’m not expressing my opinion here, I’m just tipping off you right coast folks that there are serious implications in the beating of Kenneth Gladney.

For those of you who think he deserved whatever he got for selling “Don’t Tread On Me” flags, MLK will hate you forever.

Jukesgrrl August 13, 2009 at 1:07 am

The Octomom wants to date Gladney. He’s her type and she’s attention-starved this week. More on Celebrity Showbiz Entertainment Tonight!

gurukalehuru August 13, 2009 at 1:09 am

OMG! They killed Kenny!

glamourdammerung August 13, 2009 at 1:34 am

[re=385012]villageatrois[/re]: Well, any racial slurs are not on anything the nutters have been floating around the internet since this incident supposedly occurred. But then, they have not released any footage supporting their account of this incident either. I am confused since there are people that keep claiming both slurs and an attack are on some magical video when it is very obvious that is simply not true.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 1:40 am

[re=385012]villageatrois[/re]: Um — I think the n-word happens at :40 after the beginning of the clip you linked to. I may be wrong, as there’s a lot of noise, but I didn’t hear it anywhere else on the video. So if it happened then, the guy who said it was the black man with his back to the camera. So it’s hard to say that it was a hate crime, which would typically involve intimidation of another group by someone outside of that group. And since the word in question is a racial slur, not a political one, it’s hard to say how this is racism.

Personally I think this is just a ripoff of an episode of 30 Rock — where Tracy Morgan calls the uptight black writer the slur-that-dare-not-speak-its-name and gets hauled before HR. Cute, but Tina Fey and company did it better.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 1:44 am

Oh, and just because we’re due some good news, this gladdens my heart: Dick Cheney, in preparation for writing his memoirs, has been doing some talking and thinks Dubya was too much of a sellout and a sissy and didn’t push hard enough for Cheney’s policies. Ye gads — that’s like Jim Jones’ mom saying that she was disappointed in him because he only managed to lure 900 people into mass suicide, and she had so been hoping for more like five thousand.

obfuscator August 13, 2009 at 1:48 am

[re=385024]SayItWithWookies[/re]: you have to be a horrible shitbag for people to compare w. to you and say “well, at least he wasn’t cheney”.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 13, 2009 at 1:50 am

[re=385017]gurukalehuru[/re]: No, they just fake-injured him.

glamourdammerung August 13, 2009 at 2:05 am

[re=385024]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, he claims Bush “went soft” on him.

I would have assumed Cheney would have had a pill he could have given Bush for that.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 2:07 am

[re=385025]obfuscator[/re]: Yeah we really hit the jackpot with that bunch. I’d say trifecta, but there are so many people to include: Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzales, John Ashcroft (whose ever-so-slight act of redemption made him a permanent hero, which is telling in itself), Paul Wolfowitz, Harriet Miers, David Addington, Scooter Libby, Richard Feith, John Yoo — it’s like, things were going so well, so somebody decided to uncork the fucking septic tank of insane hellish paranoid fantasies.

Personally I blame Bill Clinton for making bringing peace and prosperity to the world look so damn easy. Who knew that if he could do it while getting blowjobs underneath the desk in the Oval Office that some dumbass Texan who couldn’t find anything on a map if it didn’t show up on his Bass-O-Matic couldn’t do just as handsome a job.

Not that it’s entirely Big Dog’s fault. I also blame Gore. And I also support legislation that says that everyone who ever voted for Dubya should have a tattoo on their forehead saying “I Will Never Vote for a Dumbass Ever Again.” And then they should be photographed every time they come out of a polling place.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 2:09 am

[re=385028]glamourdammerung[/re]: You take that back right now. It’s unconscionable to imply that Dubya, a Yale cheerleader, was a top. In all likelihood, Bush went dry on him.

chascates August 13, 2009 at 2:32 am

[re=385024]SayItWithWookies[/re]: From that Cheney article:
“There was no sense in which he looked back and said, ‘I wish I’d done something differently.’ Rather, there was a sense that they hadn’t gone far enough.”

Dear God. Imagine what could have been. The end of the United Nations, the IRS, abolishing the legislative & judicial branches of government, invading Canada, nuking France.

Wait, there’s still LIZ Cheney!

Ozma August 13, 2009 at 2:38 am

[re=385012]villageatrois[/re]:

I don’t think he deserved ANYTHING for selling ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ items. I always liked that old flag. I only resent the use it’s being put to.

I accept and respect your knowledge of local history.

But I’ve played the original video many times over now;

A) I still don’t hear the word nigger on this tape. Do you? I’m genuinely curious. It’s entirely possible you have more sensitive hearing than me.
(Sorry, SayItWithWookies, I don’t hear it at the :40 second mark either. But that could my problem.)

B) Gladney appears to be completely unharmed after the incident. He is walking around with no evidence of injury, and his face, which is on camera in a tight close up at one point, is unmarked. Wouldn’t the savage beating and kicking by four men, including what he described as repeated kicks to the face, have left some visible sign?

I’m not doubting there may shady goings on with unions/Dems in the Dt. Louis area (and elsewhere), I’m just saying I don’t see anything in this video that supports this story. And it would be quite easy for any local TV or radio station to layer in some extra audiom say a nice, inflammatory ethnic slur or two just to spice up the rather tame video.

I’m just sayin’…

I know, everyone else has probably passed out by now.

Ozma August 13, 2009 at 2:40 am

[re=385012]villageatrois[/re]:

Also, 100% red-blooded left-coaster here.

S.Luggo August 13, 2009 at 2:44 am

[re=385006]tootsieroll[/re]: As Hannity has often screamed in Sybaritic delight to Mistress Glenn, “whip it”.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 2:51 am

[re=385033]chascates[/re]: Dear God. Imagine what could have been. The end of the United Nations, the IRS, abolishing the legislative & judicial branches of government, invading Canada, nuking France.

Well — not all in the same year.

Personally I think all Cheney wanted to do was declare himself Vice-President for Life and see how the situation progressed from there. Nothing too radical.

[re=385034]Ozma[/re]: I agree that it might not be there at all. But if was uttered, that was the nearest I came to hearing it.

Ozma August 13, 2009 at 3:07 am

Since there are still humans(?) conscious on this thread, I humbly apologize for my multiple typos.

Also, I have made it personal mission in life that as long as I draw breath, there will never be another Cheney or Bush elected to public office in this country ever again.

El Pinche August 13, 2009 at 3:08 am

[re=385033]chascates[/re]: That’s right. Don’t write Cheney off. We still have that war hag Liz. She’s been working so hard lately. I can’t tell whether she’s trying to save her pops from going to the Hague or she’s gearin up for 2012. I hear Rick Asscream might be running. Santorum/Cheney 2012 ?

Ozma August 13, 2009 at 3:17 am

Not to be too sappy, but as a long time lurker, first time poster, I feel honored to be amung the wonkette elect. Chascates, SayItWithWookies, villageatrois, et al., you guys are web celebrities to me. (Weblebrities?)

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2009 at 3:38 am

[re=385045]Ozma[/re]: Pfff — you are complimenting small fish in a big pond. Now don’t make me have to take you out back and give you nookies.

foog August 13, 2009 at 3:57 am

[re=384989]villageatrois[/re]: You are right. It was a hate crime. This Gladney feller hated to see an opportunity go to waste, so he faked an injury and duped a bunch of chumps into giving him cash and credulity.

Are you seriously trying to tell us that even after seeing the video, and even after seeing him use his 15 minutes to scam people for money, you STILL have such a pickle up yer ass about unions that you are willing to back this big fat load o’ bullocks?

…Could you please show me on the doll where the SEIU touched you?

Smoke Filled Roommate August 13, 2009 at 4:03 am

[re=385045]Ozma[/re]: Nookies from Wookies is special! Take it..

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 13, 2009 at 4:29 am

Quick, get this man a job with David Vitter.

LoweredPeninsula August 13, 2009 at 5:31 am

Wait; wait on fucking minute…someone’s told Gladney that he’s black, right? If he in fact has been told this and understands, he knows wingnuts couldn’t give one flying fuck what happens to him even if he sees himself as “one of them”, right?

Silly Kenneth; black men don’t get sympathy.

Carl Spakler August 13, 2009 at 6:21 am

I once whored myself out to the right-wing media establishment. Now I know how Kenneth Gladney felt.

Athar August 13, 2009 at 7:33 am

[re=385033]chascates[/re]: [re=385041]El Pinche[/re]: Have you see the Washington Post this morning? Now Cheney is, basically, saying that Bush turned pussy on him in the second term.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/12/AR2009081203306_2.html?hpid=topnews&sub=AR

I guess it’s just that nobody else could grasp his vision for our country’s future, under a government, “Of the multi-national oil corporations, by the multi-national oil corporations, and for the multi-national oil corporations.”

chascates August 13, 2009 at 7:48 am

[re=385065]Athar[/re]: Right. Cheney should have shot Bush instead.

TheObject August 13, 2009 at 7:49 am

I served with Kenneth Gladney, I knew Kenneth Gladney, Kenneth Gladney was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Kenneth Gladney.

driftglass August 13, 2009 at 8:08 am

“After he recovers from his injuries, Kenneth plans to travel across the country to promote Project Liberty”

Little Johnny Crappleseed

zhubajie August 13, 2009 at 8:15 am

[re=385024]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Can he write in an interesting way? I’ve been dying for a Bush-era _Secret History_. I doubt someone like Cheney could do more than ramble to a ghost writer, though.

fishskicanoe August 13, 2009 at 8:26 am

I think Mssr. Atrois protests too much. If all of St. Louis is consumed by this story why isn’t in the top 10 stories emailed or commented on in the St. Louis Post Dispatch? The only story they had about the Grifter yesterday was about how the police want to see his medical files from his emergency room visit. Only after that will they decide what, if any, charges are filed against the people involved in the altercation. And that story, posted yesterday at noon, has exactly 0 comments. Hot story, hot story.

http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/st-louis-crime-beat/2009/08/12/st-louis-county-police-not-looking-for-others-in-gladney-incident/

Potater August 13, 2009 at 8:49 am

[re=385040]Ozma[/re]: Well Sarah Palin quit, so that’s check one.

JamesMichaelCurley August 13, 2009 at 9:17 am

[re=384938]Joshua Norton[/re]: One of the weirdest slip and fall cases I ever had to defend was when a woman sued the supermarket because she tripped over the sign warning her not to slip in the spilled water.

Darkness August 13, 2009 at 9:55 am

Wait, this is the guy who jumped right back up in the video, right?

I need a professional victim identity cheat sheet. I can’t keep them all straight.

Darkness August 13, 2009 at 9:57 am

[re=385065]Athar[/re]: It’s not bush’s fault if cheney’s arms got tired. A few of the strings were fraying; even I could see that.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 13, 2009 at 10:31 am

I’m a Gladney, he’s a Gladney, she’s a Gladney, we’re a Gladney.
Wouldn’t you like to be a Gladney too?

Zadig August 13, 2009 at 11:09 am

“I am Kenneth Gladney” is probably a step too far for conservatives. They don’t want to have to put on minstrelsy blackface and hoard watermelons.

LittlePig August 13, 2009 at 11:31 am

[re=385199]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: A-hem…[re=384864]LittlePig[/re]:

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 13, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=385287]LittlePig[/re]: Heh. Great minds and all that. Also, reading all 122 comments FAIL.

widget09 August 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm

What’s the frequency Kenneth????????

glamourdammerung August 13, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=385081]fishskicanoe[/re]: Well, they also made some comments in the other Gladney threads about the unions being like Al Capone or some or such nonsense, so I kind of take them with a grain of salt.

kewlguy42069 August 13, 2009 at 1:24 pm

im kenneth gladney irl

BobTheBuilder August 13, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I had a very satisfying Kenneth Gladney this morning before breakfast. Darn near stopped up the toilet.

Jesus Troubez August 13, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Nah, I’d still rather keep being white.

showmeonthedoll August 16, 2009 at 1:07 am

I have looked at the tape a few times and I fail to see how this is anything other than a yelling match that involved some shoving. The falls seemed to result from tripping over the curb more than anything else.

Immediately after he was supposedly “attacked by thugs” Gladney was walking around looking perfectly fine, obviously trying to drum up some attention by telling the guys with the camera that he was “attacked” and then flagging down the police car.

Then the next day he is in a wheelchair?

The whole thing looks like a big waste of time and resources for the St. Louis police department, which has far more important matters to attend to.

And the only name calling I heard was “asshole.”

Biggs September 19, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Kenneth’s website has been pulled down. “Site Unavailable…
Unfortunately, this site is no longer available due to nonpayment on the part of Kenneth’s attorney, David Brown.

The site will resume normal operation once payment is received.”

Oops!

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