The research goblins over at TPM and the New York Times are busy at work devouring thousands of pages of newly released documents regarding the US attorney firing scandal. At an undetermined point in the future, these specially evolved goblins will excrete a powdery white substance and several pages of “analysis,” or at least a few juicy quotes from Karl Rove about how he is guilty of unspeakable crimes against David Iglesias, the US attorney in New Mexico who was fired “for poor performance” (meaning, because he did not aggressively pursue Republican allegations of voter fraud).
But for now, here is some early effluvia from the paperwork gnomes:
- “In a June 2005 message, Scott Jennings, a top political aide to Mr. Rove, wrote a colleague that Mr. Iglesias should be removed because Republicans in New Mexico ‘are really angry over his lack of action on voter fraud stuff. Iglesias has done nothing,’ it continued. ‘We are getting killed out there.’”
- “A ‘very agitated’ Rove told [Harriet] Miers in a 2006 phone call that Iglesias was a ‘serious problem and he wanted something done about it,’ according to Miers’s testimony.”
So basically Rove’s whole “I was just passing people’s complaints along, I was the messenger, do not shoot the messenger” line is turning into “I was personally responsible for all evil things, ever.”
We are still waiting for the Rove-authored email promising that he will share exclusive access to Bill Clinton’s legendary tentacle porn collection with the first person to fire David Iglesias.
E-Mail Reveals Rove’s Key Role in ’06 Dismissals [New York Times]
Docs Show Rove Pushed For Iglesias Firing [TPMMuckraker]
{ 55 comments }
OMG, what a surprise! Has anybody checked his Twitter?
BOR-ING….
Let us know when there’s tangible evidence that Turdblossom was caught up some teenangel’s bum.
Seeing as how Rove will never be prosecuted for anything. Why bother?
Rove is the breathy sound Darth Vader makes, and he can regenerate his own fingers after cutting them off with a form slicer.
[re=383962]honkyman[/re]: “tangible”? No thanks.
Oh, and based on a previous argument, Foolitics is really beginning to push buttons.
Foolitics- The blogspam in Your Comments is the Same Blogspam That’s Going To Earn You A Hard Banhammering
THIS JUST IN:
Wonkette #6,776 on the Quantcast Top Thousand
“The typical visitor reads WIRED magazine and visits cartoonstock.com
http://www.quantcast.com/wonkette.com
Karl Rove did something evil? What a surprise. Next up, a story about Michael Phelps being a good swimmer.
I fifteen-billionth the banning of Foolitics.
[re=383970]Chickensmack[/re]: I second that.
[re=383956]Foolitics[/re]: okay already. we saw the fucking link in the other thread(s). Give it a fucking rest.
Yes, yes, Double Turd is a liar, which is more depressing than surprising as he’ll most certainly get away with it.
However, there are a few other notable emails over at TPM from Dana Perino just after being informed of the USA firing plan. Dana immediately begins begging White House staff to bring her “cans” of “oxygen”, which of course means she fiends for long sessions of huffing computer duster when she reads email.
(Fooltics cut that fucking shit out, it’s not cool.)
Oh, come on. WE NEED MORE GOOD BUTT-FUNGUS JOKES. The last good one was in the Disney’s animated Beauty and the Beast, in an ad-lib by elderly teapot Angela Lansbury.
P.S. Did Tobey Maguire play a young Karl Rove in the hitchhiker scene from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?
I don’t care what the NYT learned unless it means Turd Blossom is going to jail. I want blood.
[re=383956]Foolitics[/re]: BLOG WHORE Now you’re not even trying. This is the same line you peddled yesterday during your marathon blog whoring session. Please fuck off & die. After you’ve been cleaved by the ban axe.
[re=383975]honkyman[/re]: ha, I loved “There are more Caucasian viewers than normal”
“Effluvia” and “gnomes” in the same sentence? We must remember to never, ever play Scrabble with Sara K. And, in a world-wise way, she refers to something called “tentacle porn.” I don’t want to know what that is, but I’m sure it is something practiced in the bordellos of C Street.
[re=383956]Foolitics[/re]: Mother of god will someone put Foolitics out to pasture?
[re=383997]doxastic[/re]: Oh damn, I butchered it: “There are more Caucasian visitors here than average.”
Also, it seems that John Aravosis and Nate Silver are Wonkette’s biggest internet boyfriends. Which is both hilarious and apt.
But Rove said last week he only played a very small role in the atty firings, which shoud be good enough for AG Holder, because it’s important to look forward whenever criminal activities of the previous administration are involved. Let’s not criminalize differences in policy, especially when it cost good people their jobs and landed one governor wrongly in jail.
No satisfaction in seeing this confirmed. He won’t get prosecuted for being the lying sack he is, and will continue to be a hero to the repubtards who just can’t seem to get it through their heads that he was doing everyone – rich, poor and illegullz alike – up the collective pooper.
He screws the country in service of a small interest group, and in return gets overpaid to be a “conservative analyst” on the teevee.
[re=383993]NoWireHangers[/re]: Really, we’ve been told so many times that Rove is definately going to jail over the last 4 years that I’m starting to feel like I’m in a Samuel Beckett play.
SKS, please let us know when the banhammer falls so we can all get drunk and post how much of a douche bag Fooltics is.
[re=383975]honkyman[/re]: Wow. does this mean that a lot of rich guys hang out here? Alert match.com
At the risk of sounding stupid, we all know what Rove did was immoral, but was it illegal? Aren’t US Attorneys appointees that serve at the will of the president? Thanks in advance to the person(s) who can tell me what law(s) Rove may have allegedly violated.
Is the banhammer out for repairs?
So, Wonkette traffic nearly QUADRUPLED over Independence Day weekend? Was it the missile attack on Hawaii, or perhaps hobo’s interview with JTP? I’m going with the latter.
Oooh! Harriet Miers and Tentacle Porn. Finally my two favorite taglines together at last….yum
[re=383956]Foolitics[/re]: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
[re=383975]honkyman[/re]:
No, actually, the average Wonketter reads http://www.joshreads.com for all things comics related.
[re=384016]bureaucrap[/re]: The illegality here is that the legislative branch (in the skinny form of Heather “I cry at the sight of nipples” Wilson and the executive branch (Turdblossom) were interfering with the work of the judicial (David “I used to love to lick Pete Dominici’s skinny ass” Iglesias) for partisan purposes.
That is to say, Wilson was afraid she might lose the election & was jumping all over Iglesias to prosecute all the crooked Democrats in NM QUICKLY before she lost to an actually qualified and sane opponent. Fortunately for crazy lady lovers everywhere she didn’t lose! Sadly for the same fine folks who would love to hate fuck Michelle Bachmann, this news may keep her out of the gov’s race this cycle. Oh, I haz a sad now.
The funny part of this story is Wilson’s backtracking, where she is telling bigger and wierder lies than she did the first time around.
I can’t wait for Rove to start screaming about political persecution from the Justice Department.
18 USC Sec. 1503, 1512 prohibit obstruction of justice. 18 USC Sec. 241 and 371 prohibits conspiracies to interfere with rights under federal law. Firing a USA in order to pursue a bullshit politically motivated prosecution would count.
This is off the top of my head, mind you.
[re=384042]Boojum[/re]: There’s also something in the Patriot Act (of all things) reauthorization about recess appointments of U.S. attorneys. But what most people are in trouble for right now is lying to Congress over claiming that “performance-related issues” drove the attorneys’ termination.
See, Rove is evil incarnate. Miers is just some frizzy-haired old biddy who could never say “NO” two any stupid idea W passed along. Therefore, seeing Miers get crushed under the weight of multiple lawsuits and a grand jury investigation is going to be MUCH MORE LAFFS than any (predetermined to be ineffective) attempt to harrass Rove.
[re=384005]magic titty[/re]: You guys are so sharp. I didn’t even realize foolitics was a blog whore. I just thought it was a lame word someone made up–wait. Same thing, huh?
Of course Rove is responsible for all things evil. And like other evil Republicans, he will escape punishment for his dastardly deeds while we “move on”. Although there are many of us who won’t be happy until that sumbitch is in striped pajamas, working in the Oklahoma summer sun on a chain gang and cleaning up litter. They can start with my dirt road–Bubba dumps crap everywhere.
Will someone flip the switch on the Democrats’ death-ray kill button? We’ve never used it before, so there should be plenty of wattage saved up.
[re=384051]snideinplainsight[/re]: What do you mean “ineffective”? I’m sure Harry Reid will write a strongly worded letter to Rove. That’s gotta sting.
[re=384042]Boojum[/re]: [re=384049]norbizness[/re]: I do like the 18 USC 371 theory. WRT Obstruction of justice, I think you’d have a hard time getting to stick since it wasn’t obstruction so much as attempting to compel a government official to commit an injustice. As for perjury/lying under oath, did turdblossom ever testify before congress on this issue? Unfortunately, you can’t go to jail for “merely” lying to the press (although wouldn’t it be nice if that WAS illegal?).
[re=384026]lee hussein oswald[/re]: “So, Wonkette traffic nearly QUADRUPLED over Independence Day weekend? ”
Goddamit. I knew my fucking kids would try to hunt me down someday. It’s payback for listening in on their Facebook pages.
[re=384042]Boojum[/re]: Just when I get comfortable thinking the wonkeratti are all know-nothing losers like me, one of us pops up with this shit. Great info and thanks for making me feel even losier, Boojum.
ALL of the Bushies may yet have hell to pay. Seems like the Warren Commission was many years after JFK was killed and Whitewater was… decades after the fact?
[re=384049]norbizness[/re]: On a more serious note, from my labor law and civil service days, don’t more people get in shit by their personnel actions, vis-a-vis defaming character and the like? It’s usually fucking over employees that gets them sued than it is actual job related stuff. Or so employees claim.
They didn’t remove Iglesias for political purposes, they said, but for poor performance. Wouldn’t he have grounds for a civil suit, since they damaged him professionally for nefarious political reasons?
[re=383992]norbizness[/re]: I was hoping he would star in an episode of “Perp Walk”. Roves acting talent is being ignored, so sad.
DustBowl: Don’t ask me, I’m in a right-to-work (i.e. right-to-get-canned-for-no-good-reason) state.
[re=384067]bureaucrap[/re]: The first thing is to get him before Congress and force him to lie, a la Clinton. “Mr. Rove, how frequently did you suck the President’s dick?”
[re=384068]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You have 100,000 children? Sarah? Is that you?
I suppose that’s more plausible than hobo having 100,000 cousins.
[re=384118]gurukalehuru[/re]: Were you a top or bottom during White House visits by Mr. Gannon?
[re=384026]lee hussein oswald[/re]: Aw, that’s sweet of you to remember.
Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye.
*sniff*
[re=384137]lee hussein oswald[/re]: I never met a cousin I didn’t like.
[re=384010]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: And let’s not forget “Outing-A-Fucking-CIA-Operative-Gate”. Valerie Plame just sat there and smiled silently when Bill Maher asked her if someone guilty of treason should be put to death (@ 8:41). It’s a priceless clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7vlE0s83_s
[re=384038]Terry[/re]: True enough, since we all have Mary Worth fetishes. Of course, if you lust after the old biddy, you probably also have terrible eyesight, requiring you to “click to view larger” on the weekly political cartoon roundup, and leading you straight to the arms of… cartoonstock.com.
But I saw Karl Rove last night on O’Reilly, and he insisted he did nothing wrong. And Bill accepted this. And Bill never lets anyone lie on his show.
Also, Bill reported that while no one has confirmed it, he has been told that GE loves Iran. In other news, while no one will confirm it, I’ve been told that Bill O’Reilly likes to molest collies. Oh, and spreading falafel on women in the shower. Oh, wait, that last one has been confirmed.
This little prick should have to clean toilets. I know that sounds harsh, but after what he has done to this country by getting G. W. B. elected twice (by whatever means necessary) he should spend a nickel cleaning toilets. A dime would be better still.
I would like to say that, as someone who was volunteering for Patricia Madrid for that midterm election, it gives me some consolation to know that even though my candidate was a colossal failure, at least I helped to make Republicans fearful for their jobs.
Wish I could post that wonderful photo of Karl Rove’s stepdad’s pierced penis here on Wonkette. Louis Rove was one hot penile piercer, I must say. It would, like, contribute to the quality of the debate, I think.
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