Wonkette
Just a little biographical note here: Your editor grew up in the Deep South and every white person’s dog was taught something similar. Always so funny! And now with YouTube, everybody can love the jokes. [BuzzFeed]
THIS IS STANDARD DOWN SOUTH
Dog Won’t Take Treat From Colored Man
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OMG LOOK AT THAT HAMSTER EATING POPCORN
Everytime she says Barry Sombrero, she has a pistola pointed at that poor dog off camera.
Take it, bitch!
This woman’s nails-on-chalkboard voice gave her away as the “corporate accounts payable nina speaking, justa moment” lady from Office Space.
What kind of 400lb monstrosity feeds her dog cheese doodles anyway.
Dogs are color blind.
How Suth’nuhs simultaneously become both racist *and* obese — Canine Oedipal edition.
It’s a tossup whether the woman or the dog starts using Lipitor first.
Your editor grew up in the Deep South and every white person’s dog was taught something similar.
So true… spend enough time with a Southern Republican (i.e. 98% of white Southerners) and eventually he’ll inform you with a chuckle that “mah dawg don’t like niggers… any time one of ‘em passes by the house he starts barkin’ and barkin’” then he’ll add “Me, I gawt no problem with ‘em.” just to reassure you that he’s not racist and just before he adds “Actually it’s the niggers whose the most racist, if you ask me.”
Now he said, “Sic’em, boy!” But what I heard was, “Chopper! Sic that nigger!”
Someone should tell Massa’s wife that her dog’s a MESSICAN.
HE SHOUDLN’T EVEN BE HERE11!11!1
My rottweiler Onyx would like a treat (2-3 fingers)please
No views, three comments?
Must be the new math, way better than the the old math.
Or so I’m told…
As to the dog and its location, stuff like this goes on up North, as well.
The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior proved this years ago when he invaded Chicago.
I still remember the surprise in his eyes when he got swarmed by Polacks, Wops, and Bog-Trotters masquerading as “Yankees”.
My dog black and Southern. She saw Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum on TV, so she does not like Minnesotans or Pennsylvanians. She saw George Voinovich in Time magazine, so she does not like Ohioans. She has good common sense, so she does not like Californians. Every Yankee she has ever seen has kicked her, so I guess it’s no use trying to train her to like them.
I am not particularly funny so I don’t comment here. But I have been a long time Wonkette lurker. Can I use that cred and request that the editors ban this foolitics idiot? Pretty please?
Thank God my dog is too whorish to be racist. “OMG SOMEONE!”
That poor dog. It must be tough, living with someone that much less intelligent than yourself.
chowkster: He’s a blogwhore, but he’s a fairly funny blogwhore. I vote no ban.
Your editor grew up in the Deep South and every white person’s dog was taught something similar.
Not entirely true, Ken. I taught all my dogs to ignore treats being offered from obvious morans.
Southern by the grace of Gog.
aleks: All my dogs were too focused on the other great southern tradition of being excessively fat to turn down treats from anyone.
Thank goodness “mom” has social security and medicare so she has the leisure to teach her dog a trick that simultaneously showcases the dog’s intelligence and mom’s personality disorders.
…
“He said the new president is NEAR!”
In related news, My cat used to love Jessie Jackson. This was 8 years ago or so, and anytime he was on the news, she would run over and put her paw on him.
I know that cats shouldn’t even be able to make much sense out of an image on tv, so maybe Jessie looked like a squirrel or something to her, but for at least a year, she’d stop whatever she was doing when she heard his voice on tv, run over, and paw him. Hasn’t done that with anyone else (and doesn’t do that with him anymore, although he isn’t on tv very much now)
chowkster: Are you being grumpy about me or the visiting Rebel Countess? If Rebel Countess, then let’s hope she burns in hell. If me, then I hope you and Rebel Countess burn in hell. Hengh!
“Take one from Mama” and “Take one from Dad” ?
Are we meant to understand that this dog is her biological offspring? Republicans sure do give birth to some messed up kids.
P.S. Please don’t tell Sarah Palin I said that; she is bound to take it the wrong way.
It’s easy to train your dog to do this. All you have to do is make a fist and hit him in the mouth as hard as you can the first ten times or so that you say Barack Obama. Dogs are so stupid that they’ll continue to avoid the punishment on cue, long after you have stopped delivering the pain. Stupid, stupid dogs. But hilarious.
“Adding comments has been disabled for this video”
Gee, I wonder why?
aleks: My dog is with you there.
james evans: I don’t think it’s the dog who’s stupid there buddy.
My neighbor is black and her dog hates almost every human and all dogs- except he loves her family and my family(we are white- in that pinkish/tannish sort of way). How about I do a video of her dog taking a treat from her and one from me and then posting on You Tube. unfortunately, however,with a full time job and posting on Wonkette- I don’t have time to make videos and post crap on YOu Tube.
Capitalist sitting dog!
Ma’am you are a HERO
chowkster: gabba gabba…one of us…one of us….
I second your ban summons.
What’s sad is that you know the dog’s only doing this because he got hit the first however many times it took that she said “Barack Obama”.
I don’t want to imagine how scared the poor doggie must get when the news comes on (ha ha I am kidding; of course this woman does not watch the news).
Man, did we have to watch it three times? Pretty proud of herself there. And what red-blooded ‘Merrican dog eats f’n carrots?
Of course the dog is afraid of “Obama”; that’s what “daddy” calls his dick.
I found it hard to pay attention, I was so mesmerized by that lovely wall unit she has in her living room. Real Ikea costs a bit more but it’s worth it.
Godot: She doesn’t watch the news, but they mention Obama on Fox a lot too.
ivenson: Thirded.
gurukalehuru: It’s the same goddamn link over and over and over. Do you really want to encourage that?
Serolf Divad: Christ, people in Eastern Washington state say the same thing, trust me.
Oddly enough, my neurotic idiot of a shih tzu, who was born and raised in China, really dislikes black people. Also, short people, kids, and anyone sitting on a park bench. I’m pretty sure that these aren’t MY dislikes, and that some wiring got sort of crossed.
First, let’s give this chick her due. It takes an awful lot of voltage to train a dog that well. Who knows how many crosses they had to burn to cook their dinners just to be able to pay their electricity bill? Second, am I the only one who thinks that every time she says the words “Barack Obama” that the dog is actually turning toward the door, expecting that the president will come in and save him from this horrid existence?
Take one from daddy indeed.
Ah so this explains the extra bitterness in posts about the South - besides the obvious reasons, I mean. I thought Jim was the (only?) escapee .. it appears that growing up here makes one both caustic and funny, if one is not hopelessly benighted.
Her youtube profile:
“I’m a Christian, a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. I’m an American. I love my God and country. I’m thankful for the freedoms that I have always had and want them for my kids and grandkids.”
Simba B: But you can vote on the little “heart” scale. And there are way too many LOL’s and “cutes” vs. “trashy”. So go vote for how fucking trashy this POS is.
I saw this episode of King Of The Hill. The dog really just hates plumbers.
Well geeze, Ken … you grew up in the deep south and opted to live in the Mojave? Heck, why not south georgia? it’s hot and they have plenty of rattlesnakes (and others!) as well as alligators. and morans, can’t forget them.
or there’s well, Savannah.
Imagine the training the training that went into this…
Mama (treat)
Daddy (treat)
Obama (whack!)
Mama (treat)
Daddy (treat)
Obama (whack! bad dog! whack! come back here! whack!)
Mama (treat)…
This mutt will end up eating the shit of Portugese water dogs.
Criminy, this woman needs psychiatric help and fast! How many people does she think she is?
If I were to say that she sounds like Edith Massey and I bet she looks like Edith Massey , would that be an hominem attack? On Edith Massy , that is?
“No Gator, NOOO!!!”
PS: I bet there will be alotta big bux to be made from the diabeeduss pharmaz in this household - doggy style inclusive.
Serolf Divad: Uncle Eddie, is that you?
Ugh… must I listen to this fat half-wit lecture me about his birth certificate and ‘nigra socialism’ again? Now if you will excuse me, “mama”, my balls are not going to lick themselves.
ediot: Yes woof can.
My mother was polite enough to say her dog became very protective when “large scary men” got near her. Took me half my damn life just to get her to stop saying colored.
My mother was polite enough enough to say her dog became protective when “large, threatening men” came near. Took me more than half my life to get her to stop saying “colored.”
Oh godammit. Please accept my humble apologies. Opera Mini doesn’t usually post to Wonkette, crapping out somewhere along the way.
This would make Sam Fuller proud.
Bet she would accept government benefits(*) checks signed B Hussein Obama II, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Nairobi, Kenya.
(*) For example Veterans Benefits.
So, the lesson here is, anyone who doesn’t want to take a treat (for example, healthcare) from Barack Obama is as stupid as a dog?
General Sherman should have brought more matches.
My friend is Mexican-American. Her dog is a dachshund that hates people with dark skin or people wearing hats. She has had him since he was a puppy, and she is not racist, nor is her other dog. Some dogs are just assholes, apparently.
When I was in the Deep South, I had a rescue dog whose previous owner was black. Watching a Rottweiler mix try to hide behind furniture when your black friends were over is a bit embarrassing. Still, he would only growl if they tried to pet him and he could not run away.
ph7: I wonder whehther she might be a great-great-great grandmother as well (happens when you start pumping them out at 15).
In the end, it does look suspiciously like the dog is getting ready to be whacked.
The hilarious part of this video is the days of punishment and negative reinforcement it took to get the dog not to want the treat. Pavlov’s dream!
Why Lincoln thought he was “saving the Union” by forcing the South to un-secede is beyond me.
When an entire section of a continent turns itself into a flaming bag of shit and leaves itself on your doorstep, you’re supposed to piss on it and put it in the dumpster at the 7-11 down the street, not invite it in for a drink.
I bet that dog takes them from Sarah Palin out of fear of being shot from a plane.
silversilver: Oh please. And there’s all kinds of dogs running around that hate white people.
My wife’s dog is so racist he even growls at me when I wear a black shirt.
Grandma will be so sad when B. Hussein Obama does not allow her to take the dog with her to the FEMA death camps.
This couple also has two pre-teen daughters they didn this trick with, but with cookies, explaining 2 of the 210 pounds each of them weigh.
My neighbors across the road are Hawaiian. This morning I was walking out front and their half-breed pitbull/Hawaiian mutt squared off on me, scaring me to the point I went back to the house and got my .357, just in case. Is this a metaphore? Why do I hate President Obama?
Aquannissiwamissoo: Actually, they did not just secede. They then attacked us, and to this day wonder why we then proceeded to beat them like a Southern housewife.
The batteries ran out right before the dog “took a treat from David Duke” which is an event all the neighbors usually come to see. Dressed in full Klan garb, the dog actually constructs a cross on the lawn and sets it ablaze !!!
She thinks this is funny now, but wait until I’ve reported her to PETA.
And I was just listening today on NPR about service dogs that are trained in prison and given to wounded veterans. Those dogs changed the lives of the prisoners and the wounded vets. My eyes watered listening to that. Some people are good and some people are bad. Dogs are either loved, or, poor things, unloved.
But you go to hell when you misteat the vulnerable (old people, children) and dogs.
It’s like a metaphor for something.
People from the south probably shouldn’t say things like “Take one from daddy”.
obfuscator: It is better than the comment I was going to make about the white trash in the video and peanut butter.
Madeline: No, the lesson here is, anyone too fearful to take a healthy treat (an apt metaphor for healthcare, no?) from Barack Obama is as repetitively brain-washed as a negative-reinforcement-trained dog.