This is not just a wonderful video about .000005% of America’s Youth — most of them are still sitting in front of the video screen eating Crazy Bread, thank Allah! No, this here is part of an exciting contest! Beloved Austin comedian Alex Jones is making all the Truther/Paultard/Birthers do these embarrassing videos, maybe for a prize of some kind?

First, Alex, you must listen to the voice of reason: DO NOT PUT ON JOKER MAKEUP YOU ARE JUST SUPER FAT, DOESN’T WORK.

What you look like, Alex, is John Wayne Gacy. That’s not really “sexy,” if you know what we mean. (And you know what we mean, you sass!)

Did Bill Hicks ever let himself go, Alex? NOOOOOO! Exercise or something, jesus ….

Anyway, Alex Jones is having a contest. The first kid to bother a cop enough to get tazed will get to say “Don’t taze me bro!” while getting tazed. Must be between 16 and 23 to win. Must live at home.

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  1. Oh sweet Jesus. I’m terrified of clowns as it is. Fat, wingnut clowns is a nightmare I may never recover from. Could. Not. Watch.

  2. [re=383788]dum librul[/re]: Hope he ain’t the guy that makes the cheese, slack-jawed panniculi will have to boycott his product, thus causing bankruptcy.

  3. so obama is a fascist, socialist, and helped cover up 9/11, as an inside job. this is the most confusing message ever…get your shit together, kid.

  4. You would think these little morons would prefer to do something socially useful like take lots of drugs, get addicted, commit crimes and die but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  5. [re=383794]lolwtfbbq[/re]: I can’t wait for his next video: I Just Read Catcher in the Rye and Figured Out THAT EVERYONE IS A PHONY

  6. The worst thing they can say about Obama is that he believes the ‘official story’ of 9-11? And this makes him a socialist? Because he was hand-picked by financiers? Fail!

  7. “…off shore criminal banks raping America and laughing all the way to the bank…”

    How does a bank laugh all the way to a bank? Is it a different bank (a non-off-shore-criminal-bank?)? It’s all so confusing!

    At least most birthers are just closeted racists, these Alex Jones-like people are just fucking retarded.

  8. Is he going to get his ass kicked at some point, or is it just 11 minutes of taping up posters? Because there’s very little I don’t have time for, but . . .

  9. I watched about half, and couldn’t take any more. Did it get better?

    My problem here is that i am conflicted. I still believe 9/11 was an inside job, (because that’s just the kind of thing those people DO. If they can get away with overthrowing governments in reasonable sized countries like Chile and Iran, I’m guessing that knocking down a few buildings in Manhattan seemed like a piece of cake) but I don’t want to be associated with people who paint a joker face on Obama and call him a socialist.
    Obama’s not a socialist. I am a socialist.

    Maybe the Truther movement needs to split in two?

  10. [re=383801]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Now I’m in a mood to drink scotch and trimma goddamn christmas tree. Although that’s typical Wednesday in casa del dum libral.

  11. Also, taping a poster to somebody’s vehicle and videotaping yourself doing it and posting it on you tube seems to be a good way to get (yourself arrested/your ass kicked).

  12. oh gack, these people will be sitting in my lecture in a year or two. . can’t we have a nice generation of shiny-happy students who want to end racism, stand up for the worker, feed the poor, work for global justice, and usher in a new age of free love and peaceful anarchy? Instead it will be the whiny, “I don’t agree with the anti-american thoughts in this class,” on my student evals again. So much for hope of change. Sigh.

  13. Obama Deception was sweet until the fascists at YouTube scrubbed the full-length HD version from their website. Tyranny!

    -This message brought to you by EcoloBlue. We’ll sell you what is basically just a dehumidifier attached to a Brita filter for $900. But it’s important, because of fluoride. And by We’ll sell you a can of birdseed you can plant in your mom’s basement, where you live.

  14. Speaking of Paultards, are ya’ll watching the poor bastard from Arlen Specter’s town hall meet on Morning Meeting on MSNBC? First of all, I don’t think he really knows what the hell it is he’s struggling to say, which leaves me at a complete loss. And now they finally have to get rid of him. Wow, either this guy was *monumentally* nervous, or he’s just plain borderline retarded. I hope he becomes a Joe the Plumber-like icon of a leader for the Birthers. It would just all make sense then.

  15. [re=383810]gurukalehuru[/re]: The problem with 9/11 being an inside job is the same problem faced by any Rube Goldberg device. Incredibly complex conspiracies leak or fail or both.

    The MOST i would be willing to think to be in shouting distance of reality is that someone got vague notice and dumped insurance stock.

  16. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA he put a “Live Free or Die” bumper sticker on the back of the prison van…. full of inmates…. many of whom probably can’t vote anyway! Oh what a brilliant little paultard

  17. [re=383810]gurukalehuru[/re]: I’m sorry but Truthers are truthers. You are what you are. Can you avoid posting that crap here because it makes me want to call you names and point out how stupid you are.

  18. [re=383825]Mavky[/re]: My daughter will stand up- she had to listen to BS in high school like
    “Jews killed Christ” and remarks (not made to her) about “fags”. She gave it right back(small and loud like her mom). Now she goes to a small liberal college(of course, there is still Jew hating- because it is always ok to hate the Jews)

  19. [re=383810]gurukalehuru[/re]: Couldn’t agree more. There are several things about the official story that don’t add up but thanks to nuts like Alex Jones and this kid there will never be an intelligent inquiry.

  20. Have you ever listened to the brain dead psychos who are Alex’s callers?
    They are the most pathetic, confused losers one could imagine. Compared to them, Alex seems
    almost sane. Alex does not betray any notice this. But, even for him it must get depressing.

  21. where’s part two of “Obama Joker Posters take over Minnesota?” You know where they curb stomp Al Frankin and are rewarded with a three way (no anal) with Michelle Bachmann? Was that what was on the discs they were tossing around?

  22. [re=383790]freakishlystrong[/re]: omg, me too. terrified of clowns anyway. Alex Jones + clown=worst nightmare

    Is Jones right wing or left wing or some other wing altogether?
    he is not technically a wing nut, so wtf?

  23. If these dumbshits actually believed all the crap they spout about inside jobs and labor camps, they’d never have the balls to pull these shenanigans.

  24. [re=383963]trickyrick[/re]: He’s far, far right. Paultards are the ideological brothers of the lunatic anti-Commie fringe known as the John Birch Society, long considered America’s far right wing. Paultardism is Birchism for the younger generation, The tactics, ideologies, everything, exactly the same, and Ron Paul supports JBS and vice versa. They only seem leftist to newbies because they are conspiracy theory nuts.

  25. It’d be nice if there was a Hitler Youth this kid could get involved with. Just another afterschool program cutback courtesy of all that our president the socialism.

  26. Alex Jones is an equal-opportunity conspiracy-freakout monger. His listeners are the extreme paranoid fringe of America, whether right-tard or left-tard or lib-tard or (usually) confused-angry-dumb-tard.

    A lot of Truthers (who maybe started off as angry DU-style libtards) got into Alex Jones because of his truther stuff. Basically, whoever’s in power, THEY’RE the cause of everything bad on Earth, even if they are brand new and even if they replaced their opposite. It’s so easy for conspiracy nuts, because all they have to say, about anything or anyone, is “it’s part of it too/they’re in on it too.”

    Before the truthers, Alex Jones was a real ultra-fringe character. Then fellow Austinite Richard Linklater put him in movies, and the rest is terrible.

  27. So, three things:

    1) 11 minutes of “we’re going to educate the people,” and the kid only talks to two people — well, one and a half, ’cause that guy in the Wal Mart parking lot looked like he wanted to get the hell away from the kid.

    2) Kid needs to learn that when you leaflet (DVDet?) a car, you gotta put the leaflet under the windshield wiper, or it will get blown away by the wind.

    3) Awesome song, “We The Sheeple.” Just pure awesomeness, but not really worth watching all f*&#$ng 11 minutes of this.

  28. Secret Muslin Barry Sorento is plotting to help create a socialist America the behest of capitalist bankers, by which they mean Jews. Hey that’s super.

  29. [re=383838]Mr_Deadite[/re]: Didn’t see that guy, but last night I watched the gun-toting douchebag standing near Obama’s town hall up in NH yesterday get absolutely destroyed by a braying and probably drunk Chris Matthews. Amazing how when you put direct questions to all these nuts they are revealed as delusional and dumb as a bag of hammers.

  30. The music sounds like it should be played over a montage of someone challenged to a dance off in an inner-city neighborhood (or ‘ghetto’) learning the skills to win…

  31. Also, why is Optimus Prime talking at 4 minutes in? He’s supposed to introduce the movie & end it with cheesy faux- inspirational lines – not interrupt in the middle. Silly kids.

  32. [re=384024]Ken Layne[/re]: [re=383963]trickyrick[/re]:

    The thread’s probably dead, but whatever. Basically, I think Ken is right that Alex appeals to all conspiracy nuts, and many of them don’t know if they are right or left or just fucked. But there is evidence Alex was indoctrinated by Birchers when he was young, maybe just like this kid. Birchers have summer camps for kids and lay in the anti-NAU etc stuff. And the Birchers are the big-daddies of American conspiracy theorists.

  33. How much did this dude spend on those bumper stickers?? Man, when I was 16, I saved my money for beer and other important stuff, not whacko stickers and such.

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