• May 26, 2012
STEAL THESE CARS

August 10, 2009

It’s America’s Hottest New Bumper Sticker

by Jim Newell  

Rich car-owning operative “Amanda” sends notice of the latest terrible decoration that the monsters are swapping around: “Hi, I’m a longtime reader living in Gainesville, FL. Driving around town this morning, I sat at a stop light behind a woman in a white Mitsubishi with the bumper sticker ‘Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Sarah!’ with this website on it: http://ivotedforsarah.com.” It’s funny because “Palin voters” can STILL BE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING. But you really should visit this bumper sticker’s website; we promise that there aren’t any “biggest fucking hi-res pictures of Sarah Palin ever” on the front page. [I Voted For Sarah]

{ 78 comments }

Noonan August 10, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Tip: Jim broke his promise.

freakishlystrong August 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm

“Amanda”, please tell me you t-boned this asshat…

thehelveticascenario August 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm

I’m not sure admitting you voted for a quitter is a good idea.

boinggg August 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Shit happens.

Don Juanquete August 10, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Typo. It really was supposed to say: “Do not be Lame Me.”

Doglessliberal August 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm

We were behind a truck (pristine, white, Escalade pick up, never in its life had seen actual pick-up type work) in Alexandria, VA yesterday that had on the back: 1) a huge sticker with “Got Regret?” with the Hopey symbol; 2) some sticker about real men being from Texas, 3) a “Proud to Be a REAL American” sticker, and 4) another with the Hopey symbol and something about how it is socialism when the gov’t is in the health care business.

My husband noted the Veteran sticker, as well, commenting that he was sure this guy is turning down the gov’t benefits, including health care, that he is entitled to because he is no fucking socialist commie Muslin.

pdiddycornchips August 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Her eyes are huge. No wonder she can see Russia from her house.

Fox n Fiends August 10, 2009 at 3:59 pm

I’LL FUCKING BLAME YOU ALL FUCKING DAY BITCH

SayItWithWookies August 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

These bumper stickers are going to make the job of the Socialized Medicine Death Panel sooooo much easier.

bitchincamaro August 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Did her passenger had one of those “I’m with Numbnutz—>” t-shirts on?

Buzz Feedback August 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

I voted for Trig.

pdiddycornchips August 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=382359]Doglessliberal[/re]:

Vet + Escalade = Blackwater operative

shadowMark August 10, 2009 at 4:02 pm

On her Facebook page Sarah said the earth will open and swallow all cars that don’t have her bumper stickers on them and cars that don’t have her bumper stickers are killing Trig and the Cato Institute says her bumper stickers help the economy.

rambone August 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Imagine the harm these people could cause if they learned proper HTML coding . . .

norbizness August 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm

If she actually did drop off the grid, would all Wonkette editors commit seppuku?

Advocatus_Diaboli August 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm

shorter bumper sticker (hell, the stoopids can’t read all that while driving their gas-guzzling Ram tough pickups and slurping a bud light): “I’m a moran”

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 10, 2009 at 4:06 pm

What? Bumper sticker doesn’t have the obligatory “Also”? FAIL.

Doglessliberal August 10, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=382373]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Factor in Northern VA location, and yessirree. Plus, rich as Croesus. Like the asswipe from some town hall they quoted on NPR the other day said “we don’t need to fix health insurance! My health insurance is just fine!”

Hooray For Anything August 10, 2009 at 4:08 pm

You might as well put a sign on your car reading “Safety 1st: Mentally Challenged Driver on Board.”

Doglessliberal August 10, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=382383]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: but in Northern Virginia, that could mean Jim or Brian. Though I am sure a lot of local Republican voters would equate your sticker’s meaning with my possible interpretation.

colbycakes August 10, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Even here in communist-socialist Chicago (And the north side, too, not the south side with actual industrial jobs!) we saw a bumper sticker that had a picture of Reagan and Dubya, both in full brush-clearin’ regalia, and text that read, “All My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys”. My passenger read that and said, “Okay. So who are your heroes?”

DoctorCulturae August 10, 2009 at 4:13 pm

“Don’t blame me, I haz cheezebooger butt!”

The Cold Sea August 10, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Was this white Mitsubishi being used as a short bus? Wait….Mitsubishi?! That sounds Mexican! So this person in a Mexican short bus is driving around with that as a bumper sticker. Death panel, please.

Limeylizzie August 10, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Oh my eyes..they are bleeding…also

Accordion-o-rama August 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm

“Don’t blame me, I voted for Sarah (and Smelly)”

El Pinche August 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Her hi-res pic reminds of me something. Don’t get pr0n in Blue-Ray unless you like butt pimples and stretch marks. Blue Ray takes the glamour out of bukkake.

JSDC007 August 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm

That’s like putting a “Kick Me” post-it on your own back.

slappypaddy August 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=382361]pdiddycornchips[/re]: her expression sums it up. the look on her face says “i am so fucking tired of this shit, i could chew nails and shit nickels, you betcha. where’s my gun, i need to shoot something, doncha know. maybe it’ll be this photographer, if he asks me to smile one more time. also. also also also i am so fucking tired of this shit!”

Come here a minute August 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm

I’ve got to get a smaller monitor — when jpeg Sarah reared her head, it was like she had invaded my cubicle.

ForTheTurnstiles August 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm

I propose we contact administrator@ivotedforsarah.com for bulk orders.

Bulk orders of trucknutz, buttsecks, &c

hobospacejunkie August 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Sarah, Sarah
word salad’s brewing in your brain
Sarah, Sarah
this time is a good time for goodbye

Jefferson Starship always did suck. And this bumper sticker doesn’t make a whole lotta sense. Them political scientist types are always telling us that no one votes for the vice-presidential candidate.

Doglessliberal August 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm

and actually, I am going out on a limb and assuming these shits for brains voted for Bush, so yes, yes I CAN blame you, you moosefuckers. Do you really believe 1) that Obama caused all the crap we are dealing with and 2) PALIN could have magically waved her wand and fixed it all by now?

Don’t answer that. My brain hurts already.

DoctorCulturae August 10, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Of course the appropriate thing to do would be make a sticker that would cover the “Don’t b-” part, thus leaving…

AnnieGetYourFun August 10, 2009 at 4:26 pm

[re=382381]rambone[/re]: Ssssshhhh. The longer it takes them to figure out what a WYSIWYG editor is, the better off we all are.

[re=382402]El Pinche[/re]: Blu Ray takes the joy out of most sitcoms. I can’t believe Charlie Sheen can’t exctract a simple blackhead.

Pizzuti August 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm

“Don’t blame me for the deficit – if my candidate had won in ’08, life on Earth would not even exist at this point.”

glamourdammerung August 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

I can not blame the editors for not being able to ignore Palin. After all, I have a hard time not looking at train wrecks.

orange August 10, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Hahaha. She’s destroying conservatives.

sanguinesu August 10, 2009 at 4:38 pm

My eye bleach consumption has tripled since I started reading this site…

prizepig August 10, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Proud Parent of a Very Special Child!

AnnieGetYourFun August 10, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Has anyone registered ivotedforlizardpeople.com yet? Because if not, I’ve got $17 just burning a whole in my pocket.

Come here a minute August 10, 2009 at 4:40 pm

The subtext of this bumper sticker is clear. Don’t blame me, I voted for Sarah Palin, so you can be damn sure I am too stupid to have been hired by Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, AIG, or any of the other financial behemoths that nearly brought us the Second Great Depression.

prizepig August 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm

[re=382441]prizepig[/re]:
Ohh!! My second draft is much much worse.

My Cocker Spaniel is smarter than your special needs child.

stew August 10, 2009 at 4:43 pm

How about “Don’t Blame Me, I Never Touched Bristol!”

stew August 10, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Joke at last night’s Joan Rivers Roast: “you’ve had your face lifted more often than Bristol Palin’s prom dress.”

lawrenceofthedesert August 10, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Alternatively, “I voted for Sarah Palin, and all I got was this awful bumper sticker, which was all I deserved.”

whiskey tango foxtrot August 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

we promise that there aren’t any “biggest fucking hi-res pictures of Sarah Palin ever” on the front page.

Indeeeeeed. It’s like a fucking pop-up book. Site should come with 3-D Sarah Palin ™ glasses, except both lenses would be tinged red so you can see commuhnizm everywhere you look.

Dumptruck August 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Oh god, are they STILL promoting that movie about Sarah whatsherface?

Oh wait, Sarah Palin? Like the lady from the porno Nailin’ Palin?

psilage August 10, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Don’t Blame Me: I Castrated Myself and Waited For The Comet

prophet1195 August 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm

Paint a target on your car.

Don’t blame me, I voted for Bush with a twat.
Redundant, huh?

miquonranger03 August 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm

Jim: “We promise that…”
Me: Well, okay then.
*click*
Sarah Quitter Palin: *GLARE*
Me: AHHHHHHHH
*fall off chair*

TeddyS August 10, 2009 at 5:02 pm

I actually liked Sarah in that movie, Nailin’ Palin. Can I get a copy on SARAHPAC? She should make more movies like that.

Hooray For Anything August 10, 2009 at 5:11 pm

[re=382414]hobospacejunkie[/re]: That probably explains why none of my “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Lieberman” bumper stickers never sold.

chascates August 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Don’t blame me, I voted for Lyndon LaRouche.

Carson August 10, 2009 at 5:15 pm

I Voted for Sarah, But Then She Quit Early So I Guess You Can Blame me.

Carson August 10, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Hmmm.
I notice the bumper sticker site has an email link for bulk orders.
I suppose it could also be used to suggest alternative slogans.

El Pinche August 10, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=382440]sanguinesu[/re]: We’re the ogrish dot com of dc gossip and politics.

[re=382422]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: They’ll broadcast anything in HD don’t they? I just thought of something horrid. Glenn Beck in HD.

Trigvhe from Texas August 10, 2009 at 5:40 pm

(I’m a little Norwegian)
Better bumper sticker w/ Palin pic.: “We eat, therefore we hunt”,
a line from Palin’s farewell political “poem”.

Carl Spakler August 10, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Gainsville huh…last time they entered the national political discourse was we got “Don’t taze me bro”

SayItWithWookies August 10, 2009 at 5:52 pm

[re=382513]El Pinche[/re]: Glenn Beck in HD.

HD might be sharp enough to resolve the teeny tiny tear Beck wipes away whenever he talks about how much he (choke) loves America.

widget09 August 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Wouldn’t it be easier to say I AM A FUCKING IDIOT.

Carl Spakler August 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm

[re=382543]Carl Spakler[/re]: Shoot…delete ‘was’ in previous post…also.

TVarmy August 10, 2009 at 6:10 pm

If I get stuck behind these cars, I think I might just go ahead and pretend my car has no brakes. Then, when they get mad and ask for my insurance, I’ll just tell them real Americans pay for repairs out of pocket.

rocktonsammy August 10, 2009 at 6:11 pm

“Beware of government largess.”

Lazy Media August 10, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Rascalcat August 10, 2009 at 6:34 pm

And don’t think for a moment we liberals do not appreciate knowing this.

We will drive extra careful when following “the Stoopids”.

ForTheTurnstiles August 10, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=382508]Carson[/re]: No shit… anybody thought of that yet?

http://wonkette.com/410408/its-americas-hottest-new-bumper-sticker#comment-382413

azw88 August 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm

I bet this site was made by some poor, out of work lubrurhul webpage designer wannabe that saw and opportunity to make some serious coin off of the Republitards. Hope he is giving $$ to dem candidates.
Wonder if he has permission to use her name and image…. (when she finds out this guy is making big $$, bet she sues for a chunk of the dough.

eclecticbrotha August 10, 2009 at 6:55 pm

No thanks, I’ll keep my Kerry/Edwards 2004 sticker.

JoeMac August 10, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Does that really mean:”I vote for Retards” “Vote Retard 2012″, Sarah – Trig 2012 – Tards First, Dumb Ass Forever.

Doesn’t this say a lot about who lives in Florida. Probably some retired moran on social security and medicare who hasn’t got a clue about who is paying their bills.

Gallowglass August 10, 2009 at 7:20 pm

As someone who spent four years living in Gainesville I can assure you that it is an island of thought and reason in a shallow sea of reactionary lunatic Jesus, though the bumper sticker doesn’t reflect it. The further you get from the UF campus the dumber and louder people become. So if this driver was a Gainesvillager and not from Alachua or Micanopy or one of the other outlying shitholes, think what their bumper stickers must look like.

widget09 August 10, 2009 at 7:38 pm

I don’t know how to attack this level of dumb very easily. First up is the fact that Sarah Palin didn’t run for president, Walnuts did. And to dedicate a website to the Sarah POTUS cause, when in fact, she didn’t run for president is “goofy”.

AnnieGetYourFun August 10, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=382513]El Pinche[/re]: OMG, the tracks of his tears would be 1000% more visible. Also, every teeny, freakishly blonde little hair.

kth August 10, 2009 at 7:50 pm

[re=382464]psilage[/re]: win

Carl Spakler August 10, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Aaargh, aaww, ugh…I-clikced-the-link…damn what my eyes beheld, giant life-sized, disembodied snowbilly head….aaaargh!

jaxdesert August 10, 2009 at 10:05 pm

[re=382413]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: I want to call and play the role of Dumbest Person Ever, with vaguely legitimate questions and no discernible human brain activity:

Me: Hey there. I’m calling to order in bulk. I am going to need 500 Truk Nutz, please.

Them: We don’t sell Truk Nutz. We sell I Voted for Sarah stickers.

Me: Yeah! That’s right! Thanks. That’s why I want 500 of the, uh, Truk Nutz things, please. How much are they?

Them: We don’t sell those. We are a bumper sticker company.

Me: Then why do you tell everyone you have Truk Nutz? They are in bulk, aren’t they? Is it cheaper to buy them in bulk?

Them: Lady we do NOT sell Truk Nuts.

Me: Can you give me their number then? I am going to have to call someone and complain abou tthe service here.

jaxdesert August 10, 2009 at 10:06 pm

[re=382634]Gallowglass[/re]: Micanopy? They just have to be in Jacksonville, a city of over a million, to have these on every car!!! I see it evvvvvery day……

Sabre_Justice August 10, 2009 at 11:44 pm

I still voted for Kodos.

expatinOz August 11, 2009 at 1:44 am

[re=382634]Gallowglass[/re]: Go Noles. That’s why I went to FSU. Leon County – Slightly less hicks than Alachua County.

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