RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:14 pm August 10, 2009

Freepers Have Feelings Too

by Riley Waggaman

  • If we don’t have the F-22, how are we going to fight China, on the Moon? [RedState]
  • From now on, please refer to Matt Yglesias as the Breeding Male. Thank you. [Matt Yglesias]
  • First there was Tom Paine, with his annoying pamphlets. And then there was That Guy, who brutalized baby dolls and then hung them from metal chains, on a stick. Patriots. [YouTube/TPM]
  • Orly Taitz’s Plan B: Hawaii secedes from the Union, and then Barack Obama is deported for being Hawaiian, aka a dirty foreigner. [Hit & Run]
  • If you love the Free Republic as much as the Gays do, click here! [AMERICAblog]
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ManchuCandidate August 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm

And yet the ‘tards are bitching about being made fun of.

Bronkers August 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Been waiting for Riley’s contrib on this sloooow August dog-day. I wished, and it appeared.

I better aim higher with my mentalism, next time.

The Station Manager August 10, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Oh why oh why do I always forget that clicking on RedState links hurts my brain with so much stupid?

SmutBoffin August 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Man, that F-22 RedState person, “Skankerbags” or whatever, need to learn the difference between “fact” and “opinion”.

The Cold Sea August 10, 2009 at 4:29 pm

If you want another text book example of good government, the plane that went down in the Hudson after the birdstrike. Everyone survived because the government does do many things right.

imissopus August 10, 2009 at 4:31 pm

The RedState article notes that it has been a half-century since any American has been wounded by hostile aircraft and calls this “a truly-astonishing…unparalleled military achievement.”

No you douchetards, it’s because we have not taken on a country that HAD an Air Force in half a century, unless you want to count the thirty-year-old surplus MIGs the Iraqis threw at our pilots in the first Gulf War. It has nothing to do with American exceptionalism. If we’d taken on the Soviets/Russians or the Chinese plenty of our guys would now be appearing in propaganda films all over the youtubes.

SayItWithWookies August 10, 2009 at 4:31 pm

And just look at this example, of a man saying that our children have been “enslaved” by a $115 trillion debt

Because who knows more about being enslaved than a white guy who doesn’t understand the debt and/or can’t count? I’m just surprised I haven’t heard one of these fools compare him/herself to Rosa Parks yet.

qwerty42 August 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

[re=382425]SmutBoffin[/re]: …need to learn the difference between “fact” and “opinion”.
there is a certain amount of nuance that seems really lost on these folks …
otoh, they are probably concerned about the terrorist socialist death panels tracking them down, so may not be on their game today.

AnnieGetYourFun August 10, 2009 at 4:36 pm

[re=382425]SmutBoffin[/re]: At least his screen name wasn’t some variation of DONTTREADONME like 90% of the other posters there. Christ, these people have no fucking imagination.

hobospacejunkie August 10, 2009 at 4:41 pm

[re=382431]imissopus[/re]: The United States also has not been invaded in like forever, also. Truly astonishing military achievement, that one, considering the fierce Mexican & Canadian enemies trolling our borders night & day.

ScubaDew August 10, 2009 at 4:44 pm

[re=382431]imissopus[/re]: It reminds me of the old elephant repellant joke.

“Do you see any American planes falling out of the sky right now?”
“Um… no?”
“Well that’s because it’s WORKING, you commie libtard!”

SmutBoffin August 10, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=382436]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yeah, the usernamespace overlap with the Paultard forums must be around 60%. This goes up to 90% if you find/replace every instance of “Paul” with “Palin”.

mdotsota August 10, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=382432]SayItWithWookies[/re]: We’ll see at least one MLK/Rosa Parks comparison by a teabagger and/or Sean Hannity by the end of the year. Not Malcolm X, though, it’s taken them THIS long to accept that MLK was worth not having rocks thrown at him.

qwerty42 August 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

[re=382436]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Christ, these people have no fucking imagination.
I don’t know …. they do have their Strike Force or whatever. Since Wonkette is a WARBLOG, shouldn’t we have a strike force of our own …. complete with cool logo and maybe a decoder ring so we can decrypt the secret messages sent from …. well, wherever secret messages are sent from.

rmontcal August 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

O RLY?!?!?!

Simba B August 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Yglesias is sort of superficially tolerable most of the time, but good god his commenters are a bunch of wankers.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Akaka/Macaca 2012!

WestEdEd August 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm

“If we don’t have the F-22, how are we going to fight China, on the Moon?”

I think I’ve already answered that.

TGY August 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=382431]imissopus[/re]: They’re not counting commie, librul attack-suicide birds.

ScubaDew August 10, 2009 at 5:04 pm

[re=382450]mdotsota[/re]: They already had a post saying conservatives shouldn’t turn their backs on Limbaugh, because that’s what Peter did to Jesus. IMHO that’s much more crazy than any MLK or Rosa Parks comparisons they could ever cook up. On the other hand, this is RedState we’re talking about, so they could always surprise me.

lee hussein oswald August 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=382428]The Cold Sea[/re]: The converse of which is that both the helicopter and small plane that collided over the Hudson were below the 1100′ altitude purview of the FAA. Low-flying tourist aircraft industry: Libertarian Paradise!

chascates August 10, 2009 at 5:18 pm

“Cliché about “alpha males” and so forth are so deeply ingrained in our culture that I had no idea what they specifically referred to.”

That is a pretty obscure phrase. If you’ve had your head up your ass your entire life.

AnnieGetYourFun August 10, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Oh, and Riley, to address your question regarding fighting the Chinese on the moon: with their own creation. I have been selectively breeding an army of mutant Pekingese for the past 7 years. They will never see this one coming.

The Pekes look SO CUTE in their little space fighter suits!

Joshua Norton August 10, 2009 at 5:22 pm

conservatives shouldn’t turn their backs on Limbaugh, because that’s what Peter did to Jesus.

But Peter went on to found the whole RC kit and caboodle that was the basis of Christianity. Worked out pretty well for his reputation. Do they really want to go there?

Bless their ignorant little hearts.

Sick Puppy August 10, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=382506]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I have a toy Pomeranian who would like to join your mutant army. He is balding on his haunches but is still adorable! Woof! er, I mean, also! Too!

AnnieGetYourFun August 10, 2009 at 5:41 pm

[re=382527]Sick Puppy[/re]: NOTHING better than taking down one’s enemies through space warfare and tiny, yapping dogs. Your avatar = priceless.

zenferret August 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm

[re=382444]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Last invasion was thwarted and repelled by those noble Alaskans when the Japanese invaded the Aleutians.

Okay the only the part after when is true.

Dashboard_Buddha August 10, 2009 at 6:00 pm

How It Could Have Gone At The Senate Hearings:

Senator: We can’t afford the F-22
Lockkeed Exec: But senator…it’s fast.
Senator: We already have fast.
Lockheed exec: And it’s stealthy.
Senator: We already have stealthy.
Lockheed exec: Did I mention that it’s maneuverable?
Senator: We already have maneuverable.
Lockheed Exec: But senator…it KICKS ASS!
Senator: Well…why didn’t you say so in the first place? Page! Get the federal checkbook!

Pierce Moffett August 10, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Someone needs to photoshop an AK-47 into Elvis’s hands in the photo in that Hit and Run piece.

biggiantannoyingthing August 11, 2009 at 7:01 am

[re=382432]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Not quite Rosa Parks, but Affirmative Action = gas chambers:

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