america's healthcare debate

The “Trig vs. The Death Squads” Fact-Check That Definitely Explains Everything

It is understandable, of course, that right now everyone’s most immediate concern is protecting Trig Palin from Obama’s Human Productivity Freikorps. There is just no time to worry about specifics like reality. Enter Meg Stapleton, whose job it is as official spokesperson to an unemployed private citizen to concern herself with such horrid, gruesome detail, like how Obama will personally expel Trig to the alabaster, horizonless Alaska of the Sky. See “HR3200 p. 425 see ‘Advance Care Planning Consultation,’” clarifies Stapleton.  Hats off everybody, please—show some respect.

According to Jake “Tapper” Tapper, HR3200 p. 425 includes:

“a list of national and State-specific resources to assist consumers and their families with advance care planning,” and an explanation “of the continuum of end-of-life services and supports available, including palliative care and hospice, and benefits for such services and supports that are available under this title,” as well as “an explanation of orders regarding life sustaining treatment or similar orders.”

How cynical, Herr Öbama. At least when you say “consumers and their families” have the decency to say what you actually mean—what we all know you’re alluding to—which is “specifically Trig Palin and Sarah Palin’s parents, who are very old, too old for my taste, frankly.”

[Political Punch]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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114 comments

  1. Servo

    …explanation “of the continuum of end-of-life services and supports available, including palliative care, hospice, and Carousel…”
    Fixed.

  2. dementor

    [re=381674]Autochthon[/re]: Which she’d quit after 2 1/2 years. For the troops and to progress the citizens of Crazytown.

  3. bumfug

    C’mon, Sarah, Trig would LIKE being dead. He’d go to heaven where he could frolic with the dinosaurs, like your great-great-grandparents did.

  4. memzilla

    In her FB entry, Mooselini justified her comment by quoting Michelle Bachmann as an authority on health care legislation.

    That’s like Bernie Madoff quoting Ivan Boesky as an authority on SEC regulation.

    Caribou Barbie, how about, in honor of the troops, you just STFU?

  5. karen

    I often wonder if all of these wackjobs believe the bullshit their spewing or if they go home every night and cut because they know they’re the highest form of liars in it for the money and the power seat.

  6. Zorg

    Freikorps? My, my. That’s a rather erudite reference for us pajama-clad, parent’s-basement-dwelling types. Keep up the good snark!

  7. Buzz Feedback

    AARP is in favor of page 425. So is the national hospice org. Maybe we are going to wean the olds off Ensure by feeding them the flesh of the youngs.

  8. memzilla

    “Success is the important thing. My health care talking points are not a matter for average minds, but rather matters for Real Americans. They are not supposed to be lovely or theoretically correct. I do not care if I give wonderful, aesthetically elegant speeches, or speak so that the liberal bleeding hearters weep. The point of my Facebook is to persuade people of what we think is right. I speak differently in Real America than I do in the Mainstream Media, and when I spoke in Juneau, I said different things than I say on Facebook. That is a matter of practice, not of theory. We do not want to be a movement of a few intellectual elites, but rather a movement that can conquer the broad masses. My talking points should be popular, not intellectually pleasing. It is not my task to discover intellectual truths.”

    Adapted from the original speech by Josef Goebbels in 1928. And ya know what? It worked just as well.

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels

  9. Native of SL UT

    I remember on election night last year how I cried. Look how far this country has come in the fifty years of my life, I thought.
    I was wrong.

  10. Min

    including palliative care and hospice

    There’s the problem. Sarah read that and saw “palinative care and hospice”. Somebody buy her a Word-A-Day calendar, so that we can move on.

  11. Vacation Without Hats

    [re=381683]memzilla[/re]: >

    In her FB entry, Mooselini justified her comment by quoting Michelle Bachmann as an authority on health care legislation.

    That’s like Bernie Madoff quoting Ivan Boesky as an authority on SEC regulation.

    No it’s not, because Boesky mostly likely actually knew something about SEC regulations. It’s more like asking someone walking down the street wearing a foil hat about whether AM radio radio stations are beaming instructions from the planet Zorg directly into our heads.

  12. shadowMark

    The Right’s never going to listen to an explanation from Jack Tripper. He’s living in sin with Janet and Chrissy. Come on. Get real.

  13. gurukalehuru

    That excerpt contained neither the word “death” nor the word “panel.”
    You’re going to have to do better than that, Meg. It’s all right if I call you Meg, yes?

  14. coastingdownhill

    Palin knows that they can legally kill God’s defective people in Switzerland and how friggin’ crazy those Swedes are.

  15. Native of SL UT

    [re=381692]Vacation Without Hats[/re]: Right. It’s more like asking Tiger Woods how to best set up a NASCAR truck to run wide open at Talladega.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    I’m sure there’s a section on chemotherapy too — which makes me wonder why the teabaggers aren’t up in arms over President Obama’s plan to give everybody cancer. I’m not even going to mention the colonoscopies.

  17. memzilla

    [re=381692]Vacation Without Hats[/re]: [re=381699]Native of SL UT[/re]: Thank you, point taken. I therefore amend my comment to:

    “That’s like Bernie Madoff quoting Ivan Boesky as an authority on how best to comply with SEC regulation.”

  18. Vacation Without Hats

    [re=381699]Native of SL UT[/re]:

    True, but again, only if Tiger Woods were a raving lunatic who was convinced that NASCAR was a plot by aliens to drive into your house at night in tiny cars and steal your pets, transporting them to Tralfamadore to be made into throw pillows.

    Not saying that it’s not, of course.

  19. TrickPalin2012345

    Teabaggers should all start protesting the hospitals: Where all the crack-not-loved-babies are born, and shake like you can never imagine..their little brains fried…in all their “right to life” glory. We can start spending THEIR insurance money on these little deep-fried angels of grief, and the Tricks of the world, and the rest of us should just go without health insurance. Pretty soon, the United State can be run by surviving Tricks and crack babies.

  20. lee hussein oswald

    [re=381700]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m not even going to mention the colonoscopies. which, as we already know, will be performed by Barney Frank (I think that’s on p.426).

    It’s well known that people with monstrously painful terminal diseases simply despise all those palliatives.

  21. Vacation Without Hats

    [re=381699]Native of SL UT[/re]:

    True, but again, only if Tiger Woods were a raving lunatic who was convinced that NASCAR was an alien plot to drive tiny cars into our brains and night steal our frontal lobes to be sold on the brain slug planet as accessories.

    Which of course is just silly, and don’t worry about it at all, especially don’t let something like that scare you into wearing hats when you visit. Really.

  22. Vacation Without Hats

    ARRRGH.

    Comment didn’t appear, didn’t appear, computer crashed, I decided to rewrite it…. and then the first comment appeared finally.

    It’s a plot I tells ya.

  23. gjdodger

    [re=381705]memzilla[/re]: I’d go with something more immediately topical, like, “That’s like Manny Ramirez asking Rafael Palmeiro how to do ‘roids without getting caught.”

  24. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Sarah Palin could easily take care of this problem by offering an amendment that would delete any end-of-life counseling and replace it with abandoning old people and Trig on ice flows. If they make it back to civilization alive, they have earned their medical care.

  25. Hooray For Anything

    Considering that the prolonged life span of the elderly is increasing in leaps and bounds, thus ensuring not only the insolvency of medicare & social security but the depletion of all of our possible inheritance money, I’m beginning to think that setting up death panels to take care of the elderly isn’t a half bad idea.

  26. AxmxZ

    Chuck “Assy” Asay has already fig’red out Nobama’s nefarious scheme: eugenics! With… old people!.. who are all well beyond reproductive age!..

    Yeah, okay, so Chuck Asay doesn’t know what the fuck eugenics means or how to use it in a sentence. Is anyone really surprised?

  27. azw88

    [re=381699]Native of SL UT[/re]: Tiger went to Stanford, so I wouldn’t bet against him being able to do that. (and if not, he has enough $$ to pay someone to do it for him)

  28. desertwind

    Wouldn’t it be fun to find out who first singled out this end-of-life care para in the middle of 1,000+ pages?

    And then had the notion to call it “death panel”?

    A death panel that targets the old and young and infirm?

    THAT is the person(s) who must be shot. Also.

  29. Nerdalicious

    The Health Insurance Companies are funding this nonsense & town hall screamers with $1.5 million per day! How can Prez deal with the insurance companies while they fund this insanity? You cannot deal with these insurance companies! John Edwards knew this! I don’t care what JE he does in his personal life. Ms. Crazy P. is just lip syncing the Insurance BS. because she can’t read the copy.

  30. SmutBoffin

    I like the umlaut on Barry’s name. If he ends up fabricating another birth certificate, he oughta add that baby to toughen up his image a litte bit.

  31. WadISay

    I fear that now that Palin has officially made her trashy, dysfunctional family legal fair game, dumping on them will be less fun.

  32. showmeonthedoll

    [re=381719]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I think it should at least be an option. Some of us might actually prefer to face a firing squad instead living to the ripe old age where we can enjoy our golden years on the streets: senile, penniless and — after Schwartzenegger kicked us out of the nursing home for lack of funds — homeless, living on the streets until a cold snap kills us off. God Bless America. Land of the free.

  33. showmeonthedoll

    [re=381732]showmeonthedoll[/re]: Just saying. Which insane and morally repugnant scenario is more likely to happen? Obama death squads for the old and disabled? Or the eviction of the old and disabled from public nursing homes because a state is held hostage to a Republican minority that refuses to raise taxes on the rich?

  34. Neilist

    That movie?

    “Children of Clinton.”

    It’s about Bill flying to Kenya to “free” some of that hot Ebony/Jet “jailhouse bondage” reporter booty.

    Opening Summer 2010! Look for it!

  35. Neilist

    [re=381732]showmeonthedoll[/re]: “Some of us might actually prefer to face a firing squad . . . .”

    Hey, if you need help organizing that, don’t be afraid to ask. I mean, anything for my fellow Wonketteers.

    No “last cigarettes,” though. Those things are worse than gu . . . whoops . . . never mind.

  36. Servo

    [re=381719]Hooray For Anything[/re]:
    The two greatest burdens on healthcare: children and the elderly. The olds know that logic will always give them the short straw. A few extra years of droolitude are clearly not worth several childrens’ lives. However, they feel they’ve earned it. They’ve convinced themselves that the younger generations owe them 20+ years of freeloading because, y’know, America would have fallen apart without them.
    The fear of death has yielded very unnatural lifespans, burdening the rest of society. It simply needs to stop. Starting with Wilford Brimley.

  37. shadowMark

    [re=381725]desertwind[/re]: Don’t worry. Sooner or later one of these sharp-eyed folks on the Right will notice that Sarah Palin posts on Facebook and foreign, commie, Moscow-based types own hundreds of millions of dollars worth of Facebook stock. * Russians set to extend Facebook stake * Obviously Red Sarah is somehow just doing the bidding of her Kremlin overlords.

  38. Native of SL UT

    When it’s my turn in front of the Obama Death Squad, I will tell them that I would prefer to die by being shot by a jealous husband when I’m 92, thank you.

  39. Carl Spakler

    [re=381742]Native of SL UT[/re]: I’m going to pick being beaten to death by a fungo bat

  40. Bearbloke

    [re=381738]Neilist[/re]: Starring ‘Daddy Bill’ Clinton and the world’s hottest 19-25yo black chix… nice try Mr. President, but don’t think for a second that Hillary’s gonna let that happen!

  41. BadKitty

    So these death panels… how’s that going to work, exactly? And how to do I get to be on this panel? I’ve got lots of ideas about who deserves to die.

  42. My choice. My Wonkette.

    Better not to put Trig down til they approve the Yucca Mountain storage facility. You’ll need to sequester that retard carbon so it doesn’t enter the biomass again.

    But, probably a good thing that Palin has a national spotlight to exploit her young child for sympathy. Imagine if this bitch with Munchausen Syndrome needed to take Trig to a doctor to have someone hear her whine. Here, Trig, eat a cigarette in your pudding.

  43. TrickPalin2012345

    Every time a nurse asks some toothless family of a 102-year old, “do you want to keep Granny on tube feedings, and a ventilator…because she might come back to sprightly life, if only her mind, her bowels, and digestive system are miraculously cured by Sarah Palin, that nurse is REALLY thinking, “I can kill the Trick Palin project”.

  44. Oh hell to the no

    To be fair, Sarah Palin makes *everyone* start acting/thinking deranged.

    At this point, just the mention of Trig Palin makes me want to ban the Special Olympics, punch “Life Goes On” star Chris Burke if I ever see him (although, I did hear that he actually is a typical c-list asshole in person) and Netflix “The Other Sister”.

    I’m just glad Trig Palin isn’t autistic because I don’t know what I’d do if that bitch joined forces with Jenny McCarthy or ruined “Rainman” for me. Still, I could never punch the actual guy who Rainman is based on. Or could I?

    At this point, I’m in favor of any sort of panel that reduces the coverage Sarah Palin or any of her affiliates in the news.

    Fuck you, Sarah Palin. And up the ass with no Vasaline, also.

  45. snarkistani refugee

    Remember during the campaign when the candidates were supposed to trot out their health records, and Snowbilly stonewalled until the question went away. I think she was covering up a little psychosis in the woodpile. Now when she’s feeling the full-blown crazy coming on again, she must have figured it would be better expressed outside of the role of governor…you know, where you have actual responsibilities.

  46. chascates

    I wouldn’t be upset if these death panels were made of real ‘Murikans like me but I fear they’ll have accents, eat lentils, or worship a false god.

    So I’m advising everyone I hear talking about the upcoming culling to move their old and special needs people to Alaska ASAP.

  47. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=381740]Servo[/re]: I heard somewhere that the obese consume four-times as much health care as smokers. And of course, the Red States have the highest population of obese people. So if psychotic Snow Queen’s paranoid delusions were actually real, the Death Squads would actually start their work down South, which wouldn’t be a bad thing.

  48. chascates

    From Obsidian Wings:
    “[T]here are people who weigh whether children like Trig are worthy of insurance. They’re called insurance companies, and they have decided that these children are not in fact worthy of coverage. That’s because Down Syndrome is a ‘pre-existing condition.’”

  49. Johnny Zhivago

    It was funny on the Weather Channel this morning, they had video of a funnel cloud in Nome, Alaska, apparently an uncommon occurance. One of the weatherpersons then slyly commented “I wonder if they could see it in Russia”.

  50. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=381755]chascates[/re]: I hear they will be panels made of up entirely of imported Kenyan doctors.

  51. oldguy

    [re=381742]Native of SL UT[/re]: Thanks! You’ve given purpose to my impending dodderhood. At least a dream. Oh, never mind. Shoot me now.

  52. Hooray For Anything

    [re=381740]Servo[/re]: It’ll only get worse when the baby boomers all start retiring en masse because they all think they’re still 30 and want to live forever and are a big enough generational block and rich enough to make Big Pharma come up with more pills to keep them younger and live forever and viagra, botox, and plastic surgery will be added to Medicare and they’ll all live to 80 and we’ll have to suffer through Crosby, Stills, and Nash’s 10th reunion tour and we’ll once again be told that we have to teach our children well and we’ll have to spend 20-30 more years hearing how “they stopped the war, man” or how awesome Woodstock was and by the time my age– Gen X– is able to retire (in our 70′s thanks to the stock market and recurrent economic bubbles) the only thing we’ll have medicare and social security for is an ironic joke that we can use airquotes for because they won’t exist anymore. This, actually, will make us happy because it’ll give us another excuse to use ironic detachment about something along with the smug satisfaction of knowing we were right all along.

  53. torera

    The PROPOSED passage deals with life-SUSTAINING treatment. How’d that get in there? I keep being reminded that thruout Amurrikan history approx. 25 to 30 percent of the population at any one time has been and still is clinically C-R-A-Z-Y. Let’s go back to not paying attention to them. Make them all communicate with each other by snail mail.

  54. Oh hell to the no

    The sad thing about Trig Palin is that he’s the only Palin that you can tell is retarded just by looking at.

    So, realizing this, I don’t think Sarah’s concerned about just Trig facing the death board, I think she fears for her own life as well. It’d be the Grandest Jury of them all and she has no idea who she’d have to pay-off.

    Sad.

  55. trickyrick

    [re=381762]Hooray For Anything[/re]: yea, but you all will have windmills and solar plants and live to be 110 since all bad chemicals will be gone, pesticides and all-no smog and pure water everywhere. there will be a farm on every corner, growing food and cows will graze the stadiums. Sheep herds will meander through neighborhoods and no one will eat animals that spent their whole life in a prison on drugs.

    We will grow hemp on the highway medians and make hemp ethanol instead of mowing grass. There will be neighborhood health clinics, just like ‘Starbucks’(tm) where everyone will check their email. This is because they dispense medical marijuana and serve green tea.

    The death panels visit these clinics to give information about “Living Wills”. or so they call them.

  56. Native of SL UT

    [re=381777]trickyrick[/re]: And there will be no need for all that expensive hospital equipment since tricoders will be invented by then.

  57. crankypants

    Whadaya say we lit ourselfs a fire under some cracker ass about now! Get the ignint jackasses stirred up with some hootin’ and hollerin’! Death squads! Random inflammatory language! That’s more like it.

  58. dijetlo

    I don’t know, people. I just look at the polls and Republicans are still nearly as popular as the clap so, in the larger sense, does it matter what the trailing quarter of the intelligence bell curve thinks?
    Perhaps if we just ignored them when they acted out, gave them some milk and cookies and pulled up “The Green Berets” with John Wayne on the Tivo, they’d act like normal retarded children instead of the attention deficit disordered cast of “Night of the Living Dead”.
    Just a thought.

  59. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    You know, I’m pretty sure there are a whole lot of other Palins that are a whole lot more socially unproductive than Trig, starting with his mother.

  60. Paul Tardy

    In New York we have found the final solution to problems like Trig and the elderly. TNT, or Trinidad and Tobago, as the more worldly of you Podunkers would call it. Cheap exploited labor makes everything better, including socialism. Trust me on this I’m from New York, I know better.

  61. wakeupak

    First of all-where’s the proof that poor Trig is her baby? As an Alaskan, I think she is in need of health care herself-she believes her own jive now after one year of FARCE. She never gave her health records as Veep candidate-never. Just a typed up few paragraphs by her Wasilla gal pal doctor the night of the election. Then,Trig’s birth certificate has never been seen or documented to public. Just like his “nephew” er, half or full brother er, “I’m my own grandpa” country song lyrics soap opera clan younger member, Tripp’s birth certificate has never been shown.
    Perhaps Trig is a FAS child, and not Down Syndrome? Perhaps Sarah Palin never carried and gave birth in 2008 to a fifth child. Perhaps her sometime rowdy daughter gave birth, oops-she did it again-only it was the FIRST time in 2008, second time in the past year. Inquiring minds wanna know: palins deception blog,palingates and palinpeytonplace are all good blogs to quench your thirst for information recommends this Alaskan who supports President Obama and one payer health reform. In the reform please include full mental health check-ups and treatment so Palin can get the help she so desperately needs. Like the “evil” witch in Sleeping Beauty-Look in your own crackpot mirror, Palin.

  62. Athar

    [re=381880]wakeupak[/re]: Your point about Bristol, little Trigger, and Pre-natal Alcohol Syndrome is right on target. Wasn’t Sarah addressing a Republican Governors’ Convention (where she in no way appeared to be pregnant, let alone in the ninth month of a pregnancy) the very night when she, supposedly, went into labor? Of course, there are no competent hospitals or doctors in Texas, so she had to make an over-night flight back to Wasilla to deliver.

    What is that smell, something fishy?

  63. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=381901]carlyt[/re]: Good catch: “According to Kizza, who is an expert on Alaskan Natives, because of Todd Palin’s Native American heritage his family including his children (Trig and all the others) are “eligible for Indian health benefits under federal law, as lineal descendants of Native enrollees under the 1970 Alaska Native Claims Settlement Act”. These are free Federal benefits that provide comprehensive medical coverage.”

    Sarah, why not think of the troops and start telling the truth for once?

  64. TeddyS

    WASHINGTON — Sarah Palin announced today that she is stepping down from being the mother of her latest baby, Trig. “Why punish Trig with the motherhood-as-usual lame duck status when the Obama health takeover will do the job? Particularly since I have discovered that he’s an Indian! Trig, that is. When he gets old enough, I want to see his birth certificate.” She made the comments during a church meth party in Wasilla. “I have appointed Willow to be his temporary mother for a while, also. And I hope the liberal media now will honor the troops and leaves my children alone.”

  65. masterdebater

    Look, if we could just vote for the right to deny old bitches the opportunity to pop out defective children, this debate would be unnecessary! That bio-clock you hear ticking? It’s telling you NOT to have anymore children, not that it’s time to start!

    Too much? I know…I’m sorry.

  66. TGY

    It’s funny when people use rabid unreason as a weapon because they can’t think of an alternative.

  67. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=381927]masterdebater[/re]: RESPONSIBLE women, especially those who already have a bunch of kids, are well aware that they shouldn’t be having kids in their mid-forties because they’re at huge risk for Downs Syndrome, and maybe it’s not such a great idea to bring a kid into world who’ll wind up on minimum wage at best. Too bad Snowbilly never picked up a magazine or newspaper, or she would have known this.

  68. liquiddaddy

    How is it going to hurt Trig to have a man check on him every so often to make sure his problems might not be better served by a little extra morphine?

  69. RoscoePColtraine

    Anyone who has studied language to any degree knows that certain words or phrases may not easily translate, to wit: “The goverment will now pay for a consult between you and your healthcare provider (doctor) concerning your advance wishes and directives concerning life support, heroic resuscitation, etc.” in wingnut can only mean “The government wants you dead when you get old.” The eskimos have like a billion words for ‘snow’ too.

  70. chascates

    [re=381935]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I’m still hoping it will come out that in fact Todd had a vasectomy years ago so Trig was a real ‘surprise.’

  71. 102415

    [re=381927]masterdebater[/re]: This generation of Republicans is proud to be irresponsible in all matters.

  72. 102415

    [re=381968]chascates[/re]: Actually, that was part of the divorce rumour.He was supposed to be away from home working out on the North Slope during the time she got knocked up not that I care where she found/had the fetal alcohol syndrome baby. After all he will have all the taxpayer health care he needs for the rest of his life just like all the other Palins. Everybody else can go to hell as far as she is concerned. She was just here in NYC feeding her face at Michael’s. People should start surrounding her and yelling teabag style when ever she shows herself in public.

  73. Prof. Junk

    [re=381682]gjdodger[/re]: I’m ashamed to admit that joke took me a while, but I must give you credit for your cleverness.

  74. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=381700]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Obama will personally ass-rape your infant children.

    Wow, it’s actually super easy to just make shit up. Is this what a job at Fox News is like?

  75. AnnieGetYourFun

    On a side note, I hate Clive Owen. He’s like David Schwimmer’s older, more serious brother or something. Gah.

  76. Darkness

    Is Trigger the dog and Bullet the horse? Or the other way around? I can never keep that straight.

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