PETA's New 'Cash For Cluckers' Program Exactly Like That Other One, But Without Cars

America may be a racist, illiterate nation of violent fucktards, but if there's one thing the anti-socialist anti-welfare white trash love, it's free money. So we can expect millions of U.S. losers to give up one of their favorite things to stuff in their mouths -- dead chicken flesh coated in a few inches of corn syrup and oil batter -- in hopes of getting communist free money from the liberals. Yes, PETA's "Cash For Cluckers" program ison.

Just as the Soviets are giving poor people a $4,500 credit for buying a new fuel-efficient car to Save the Environment, famous naked-lady organization PETA is offering real American cash to chicken-sucking carnivores who try chicken-free "chicken snax." Send in your receipt, vow to Stalin that you really are just another slob who eats pounds of industrial-slaughter chemical-laden meat products every few hours, and PETA will send you ONE (1) American dollar ... if you're one of the first 5,000 people to send in yer Soy Nuggatz proof of purchase or whatever.

AMERICA WILL BE A BANANA REPUBLIC IN 10 YEARS, because of this.

 Cash for Cluckers [PETA]