Time magazine chief clownsack Mark Halperin, the reporter who modernized “bullshit” for the post-Cold War era, is cold goin’ nuts in this, the most anticipated edition of HALPERIN’S TAKE in 350 years. He actually produces some trenchant TAKES within his ten TAKES, but we all know that this is what’s really getting him all riled up: “7. Please stop saying that Matt Drudge has lost his influence — or that those who point out his obvious influence are therefore celebrating his influence.” Yeah come on guys! Mark Halperin’s got like nine books resting on the key assertion that Matt Drudge determines everything in politics! [The Page]
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Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 23 comments }
Please stop saying Drudge has lost his influence or he won’t give me any more blow jobs.
The third-best wrestler of the 80s is the Ayatollah of Rock ‘n Rolla. Obviously the first-best wrestler of the eighties is Mark Halperin.
My take: The sky is blue and water is wet! Hope that’s not too controversial for y’all!
3. The White House is understandably pushing back against and exploiting the mobs for its own political gain; while understandable, it is also shameful in its own way.
Uh, right. I’m sure we could go back and forth about who’s inciting mindless thought-free protesters to disrupt civil meetings about health care, or who’s calling our president a racist communist nazi illegal alien who wants to destroy America, or who wants to run our country into the ground by giving people jobs and not letting our infrastructure rot. But really, aren’t both sides equally at fault here?
[re=381279]god.was.stingy[/re]:
1) Hulk Hogan
2) Iron Sheik
3) Superfly Snuka
Now let’s talk about health care.
[re=381281]johnnypantalones[/re]: Just another shill in the pocket of Big Water, eh Johnny? I’ll have you know that children are DYING of dehydration because of the “wet water” lie.
Halperin’s Annotated List
“1. Coverage of the mobs is playing into the hands of the mobsters.”
Da mob? How many fishes youse wantin’ t’be sleepin’ wit, wise guy?
“2. Coverage of the mobs is crowding out a needed national debate about health care.”
Good thing it’s only crowding out “a” needed debate, and not “the” needed debate. Leaves us some wiggle room.
“3. The White House is understandably pushing back against and exploiting the mobs for its own political gain; while understandable, it is also shameful in its own way.”
True. I personally saw our Fearless President Antichristo personally pushing a whole coterie of mobsters back against the car bomb barricades and convincing each mobster to contribute a dollar for healthcare reform. I blushed at the incomprehensible shame of it.
“4. It is very easy to disrupt a town meeting and the (apparent) reward is getting their requisite 15 minutes of fame on television news.”
Farting in everyone’s general direction will do it, it’s so easy. The hard part is getting 15 minutes of fame in a country where the average attention span is 1 minute and 7 seconds.
“5. The president typically tries to treat America like a nation of grown-ups; this would seem to be a mistake when it comes to the mobs and the coverage thereof.”
True. There are no grown-ups in mobs. No adults, either. Should be easy enough to act in loco parentis and round up all them angry babies, ship ‘em off to FEMA re-education camp for the rest of the summer. Or just ground ‘em, tell ‘em to stay in their rooms until they learn to do their chores and homework and mind their manners.
“6. Debating whether a given mobster is “real” or “astroturf” is like debating who the third-best professional wrestler of the 1980s was.”
They pay you for this kind of shit, sir?
“7. Please stop saying that Matt Drudge has lost his influence — or that those who point out his obvious influence are therefore celebrating his influence.”
Okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, I didn’t even know you were listening, we were all making so much noise at the celebration.
“8. The abject weaknesses of the Republican Party and the conservative movement (in general and on health care) are on display in the reaction of their “leaders” to the mobs.”
Yes, and don’t we all feel smug and superior about that. Now, if they would just stop screaming and put away their guns.
“9. Ask Republican members of Congress who voted for President Bush’s massive prescription drug entitlement law how many of them read that bill before they voted in favor of it — or how many bills they EVER read in their entirety.”
Oh, come on, we all saw that movie, we know they don’t actually read the laws they enact. Who has time to read, there is money to be raised and interns to be screwed.
“10. We have met the Freak Show, and it is us.”
Speak fer yerself, Kemo-Sabe.
“Disgrace” is a silly word to use. There’s nothing disgraceful about being a disgruntled citizen. Hell, I’m a disgruntled citizen most mornings before I get a diet Coke. What those mobs are is pointless. They don’t contribute anything to the debate, and they don’t accomplish anything substantive. They’re just a venting mechanism, so Mr. Middle Class doesn’t go home and kick his dog.
“The White House is understandably pushing back against and exploiting the mobs for its own political gain; while understandable, it is also shameful in its own way.” Bad, WH, bad.
Meine Damen und Herren, Madames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen:
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/08/07/pelosi-swastikas/
[re=381330]Min[/re]: Pointless in the same tradition as Hannity and Huckabee.
They don’t contribute anything to public discourse.
Even Glenn Beck’s brains pouring out of his nose and ears are at least halfway comical.
And now O’RLY? is in the tank for N00bama.
Today we are all…
I have no idea.
[re=381341]S.Luggo[/re]: Godwin’s Law FTW!!!11 LUZRS!
Drudge just repackages the news links to fit the talking points he gets from his rightwing pals. Such as:
Global WARMING?..Coldest Friday in June in Wisconsin state history
As well as the ratings of his personal nemesis, Katie Couric. And any earthquake anywhere in the world.
[re=381350]chascates[/re]: But he wears the fedora….he has to be a real journalist.
[re=381330]Min[/re]:
[Gregory] Benford’s Law of Controversy?
“Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.”
http://nevertrustahippy.blogspot.com/2008/07/benfords-law-of-controversy.html
Or one of S.Luggo’s corollaries?
A. Hysterical screaming, bulbous-hemorrhoid throbbing anger, fitful sobbing and off-key patriotic hymns of tea baggers at a public meeting about healthcare reform is directly proportional to the amount of misinformation spread by bi-curious GOP fear-jocks.
2. “The renting of garments, echoing shouts of, ‘keep your shadow off my flowerbed, you fucking bebop beatnik; I‘m calling whatsz it, you know, … your mother‘, and the xanthic loss of bladder control by birthers at public meetings about healthcare is inversely proportional to the number of white parents a president has.”
3. Odi ergo sum.
You decide.
It’s times like this that we need to see Normam Rockwell’s Save Freedom of Speech – Buy War Bonds painting. Now that’s what a town hall meeting should be like. Otherwise I think we should let the people on either side settle it MMA style.
1. Ricky Steamboat
2. Rick Flair
3. Randy Savage
Is it alright to suggest that perhaps Zooey Deschanel’s influence is finally starting to wane?
Screw health care. I wanna talk about Obama’s birth certificate.
Halperin’s column is considered to be the trend setter for what becomes “conventional wisdom” (meaning he’s wrong all the time) so it’s actually good news that he’s writing this in that if he starts calling it “disgraceful”, all the other mainstream pundits/journalists will feel freer to call this “disgraceful” (as they should be if they had any pretense of being something other than a hack) and there might be some sort of critical mass achieved so that this thing will blow up all over the faces of the Republican Party and the Tea Baggers.
Still….that whole bit complaining about Obama pushing back is the usual bit of pundit hackery– the Republicans can lie, bully, and cheat and not a complaint is proffered but anytime the Democrats attempt any sort of pushback or try to do anything slightly resembling what the Republicans do, there’s much tut-tutting and head shaking over it.
Everyone knows that Rowdy Rodney Piper was the third best wrestler of the 80s.
The headline implies Halperin is a human, not some species of lichen that stuck to Mark Sanford’s hiking boots that was carefully nurtured and grown to humanoid form by Willow Palin for the Wasilla Science Fair.
Michelle Malkin – Stupid, Racist or Both
http://msmpost.com/news/127/ARTICLE/1351/2009-08-08.html
[re=381952]Foolitics[/re]: You need to learn your English vocabulary a little better if you want people to bother reading you. The word for baby-making is “conceived.”
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