Wonkette
Everybody knew Senator Mel Martinez, the Florida guy who took advantage of what’s known as “the Cuban Exemption” in order to become both a Republican and a Hispanic at the same time, would not run for re-election in 2010. But who knew he’d be resigning his seat a year early?
Just a day after he “chose race over gender” by voting for fellow Latin person Sonia Sotomayor’s elevation to the Supreme Court, Martinez threw in the towel. Why? To spend more time with his family, of course:
“My priorities have always been my faith, my family and my country and at this stage in my life, and after nearly 12 years of public service in Florida and Washington, it’s time I return to Florida and my family,” he wrote in a letter Friday morning to supporters.
“So today I am announcing my decision to step down from public office, effective on a successor taking office to fill out the remainder of my term.”
One can only imagine the foul acts of sodomy, sin, and depredation he must be attempting to hide by pulling out the old “family” chestnut.
Anyway, now Governor Charlie Crist will have to appoint a replacement for Senator Martinez. Which presents sort of a dilemma for him, as he himself would like to be senator, but in like a year, not now. Will he just appoint himself and make everybody mad that he prematurely SEIZED THE REINS OF POWER without the approval of The People? Or will he appoint some bench-warmer to keep the seat toasty until next November?
Charlie Crist is not dumb, so we’ll go with the second option here. (Plus, toasty seats.)
Sen. Mel Martinez resigns; Gov. Charlie Crist will appointment replacement [St. Petersburg Times]
Aren’t most of the Repubes who voted for So-So retiring/leaving under a cloud of scandal/facing an insurmountable primary challenge?
NAMBLA has lost one of its most powerful legislative voices.
He is the brown Colin Powell. He just got tired of being a tool.
He and the Palin clan are going moose hunting and snow machine racing. For the troops.
A lot to cover here:
1. Thank you SKS, for that ‘Cuban exemption’ line. Comic gold.
2. Does “pulling out the old “family” chestnut” = masturbating?
3. As for the vacant seat … Roland Burris, right? Right?
If he had pulled out the family chestnut soon enough, he might not be in this mess.
Say goo’bye to your lil’ frien’!!
It’s like Mitt Romney and John C. Reilly had a Hispanic baby.
Charlie Crist will “appointment” a replacement, St. Petersburg Times? There’s a joke here (something about waiting rooms or prostitutes), but damned if I can figure it out.
Maybe Sarah Palin can parachute in to keep the seat toasty.
Appointment is now a verb?
This trend of mainstreaming stepping down early must be part of a Repub effort to make Sarah Palin look sane.
“My priorities have always been my faith, my family and my country and at this stage in my life, and after nearly 12 years of public service in Florida and Washington, it’s time I return to Florida and my family,” he wrote in a letter Friday morning to supporters.
Told ‘ya. Tranny hooker in a C Street rowhouse.
He is a wise Latina woman.
Crikey, it’s only lunchtime and this is already shaping up to be a very news-dumpy Friday! In addition to Mel’s adios, we have:
SC first lady, sons move out of state residence
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jVGOp2bl5_prbLYsoPOvD96f55bgD99U4U181
Noonan: Democrats are “Desperate”
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204908604574334623330098540.html
Oh, the humanity.
Speculation is that Crist will appoint Bob Martinez to the seat, so that they won’t have to change any of the nameplates.
Jeb! Jeb! Jeb!
So the only thing left to guess now is just what animal he used in his furry sex with a 13 year old boy. My guess is coyote.
Crist will not appoint himself. He will choose the warm seat to avoid taint.
Oh the possibilites… $5 on an affair with a trannie from Miami.
user-of-owls: Wait, does this mean Crist is appointing Jenny Sanford to the Senate? Is that what her trip to Florida was all about?
Is he Trigger’s babydaddy?
Mark Foley is tanned, rested and ready, if anybody is interested.
Just sayin’.
Tasteful blingee? I’m having a hard time with that concept.
Come here a minute: Taint. Isn’t that the space between the scrotum and the asshole?
He reminds me of one of the Indians from “F-Troop.”
user-of-owls: Thank you for my Mark Sanford story- I hate to have to go to the weekend without an update
South, to the future.
For the first time ever, I actually read a Noonington column and I got a tingly feeling that I was present at the birth of a new memette. In her immortal words:
This is democracy’s great barbaric yawp.
Mojopo: Tranny from Miami? I don’t know. He cited his family and faith and country. I’m betting on something inter-species.
Who would’ve thought that a six-year term would take six years to complete.
Why does Senator Martinez hate Charlie Crist — he knows very well he cannot parachute himself there.
Turns out that Martinez is a decent guy and he couldn’t stomach the Latino-bashing of his own party. If and when Crist gets to DC, he’ll be in the same boat until he switches parties.
These Republicans love to cut and run. Butt sects also.
He has lots of ’splainin’ to do…
user-of-owls: A nooner with Noonan?
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/08/07/us/politics/AP-US-Senate-Martinez-Resigns.html
Crist must appoint replacement. Won’t be himself, says he. Will be a place-holder. Jeb? Jeb’s chemically-challenged daughter? A water moccasin? Miss Kitty Harris? Please, let it be Miss Kitty.
user-of-owls: I skimmed Dame Noonington’s column and holy dime-store Jesus, what a crock of shit! She’s blaming the Dems for ATTACKING? She’s criticizing Obama for pushing healthcare reform on a public that doesn’t want it when in fact poll after poll after poll shows a large majority does want some sort of reform? There’s so much fail in that editorial it’s as if it was written for a parallel universe. Which, being from Noonan’s pen, it probably was.
In her immortal words: This is democracy’s great barbaric yawp
A spotted hawk swoops by over some leaves of grass and complains, something untranslatable, that some of those words are Walt Whitman’s just in case Keith Olbermann’s toady’s don’t give him the 411 on the phrase.
Oh, pleeeeease, Charlie Crist. Appoint Kitty Harris and her boobs. She will entertain us for a year, strip away some of the wing-nut votes from Rubio in the primary, and allow you to sail into the Senate next year.
FaiL State. Haha. Douchenozzle. I can’t wait for the pictures of him and a gay-married-aborted-goat. Will Charlie hire his pool boy as the new Senatard from la Florida?
My state loses a true Warrior for the People. Who now will speak for the voiceless gun nuts, religious crazies, and carpetbagging potentates who don’t want to pay state income taxes who inhabit our subtropical paradise? My heart is heavy this day.
Sarah Palin is a pioneer! A vanguard! A spearhead! A trailblazer! A swashbuckling innovator! All GOP
crybaby losersrepresentatives should follow her daring lead, by quitting.user-of-owls: “… but [Jenny] will continue working on her marriage.” From a distance. God, I love those open marriages. So unfettered.
Cape Clod: Great minds etc.
shadowMark: Noonan is actually quoting a known buttseckser? THIS WILL NOT STAND.
imissopus: I read one two days ago by our local teabag columnist that ran through Alinsky’s rule for radicals, which are a pitch-perfect description of the current madness being carried out by said columnist’s ilk(really…you ought to read them. Of course, he concluded that this was precisely what Obama and allies are doing. It was staggering. If there’s some sort of cognitive dissonance meter around, it must have soared off the charts by orders of magnitude by now.
user-of-owls: So Jenny the Skil-Power-Tools-Heiress Sanford is moving out of the goobernatorial manse, huh? I’ll bet that rather than “working on her marriage,” as the article asserts, she’s scouring her pre-nup for a clause that’ll hang Markie out to dry. Poor guy–he just fell in love! Really!
user-of-owls: Quoth the Lady Noonington: “…the angry town-hall meetings that have electrified YouTube.”
What does she think makes the YouTubes run, methane gas?
Capitol Hillbilly: yeah, whatever- I’m still betting on sex and drugs but you stick with him doing the noble thing.
imissopus: Methinks Dame Peggy is on to the shellacking she’ll receive over the weekend for this, and secretly loves it. That or perhaps it’s her most flagrant projection of fail evah.
S.Luggo: I’ll bet Kitty is standing outside the Governor’s mansion, in profile and jumping up and down, right now.
Cape Clod: I have written my fair Gov and asked for the seat to be equally split between Kitty and Mark Foley, with a live cam feed to be aired 24/7 on the teevees.
Paula Abdul just quit her job, so she might be available for the gig. She’s not Cubapuertorexican, but she was once married to an Estevez, which ought to count for something.
He could just parachute himself in there!
Quitting is the new winning.
user-of-owls: heh heh
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/sleuth/2009/07/new_letter_shows_sanford_expec.html
“The one part where my heart at this point is not where I wish it was is with Jenny. She is a great girl, great mom, great wife and best friend and I am committed to her in a commitment sense, but my heart is just not alive here as it ought to be,” he wrote….
So, no sparks?
Mark Sanford is now free to trollop with his trollop. Mrs & Sons moving out!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_sc_governor
user-of-owls: God is gonna be mad at Jenny Sanford. And possibly sons.
“Leftosphere”? Pegs, please spend an equal amount of time sucking my Rightosphere, it likes the attention too.
V572625694: S.Luggo: Well, “working” is a pretty broad description. It could cover research to identify the most bloodthirsty divorce lawyer in the country, talking to Erik Prince about a possible job in Buenos Aires, or brushing up on knife-wielding skills prior to the next couples counseling session.
So yeah, she’s “working” on that marriage alright.
from the AP news:
“He was born in Cuba. At the age of 15, he fled to America as part of a Catholic humanitarian effort called Operation Pedro Pan. Catholic charitable groups provided Martinez, who was alone and spoke virtually no English, a temporary home at two youth facilities.”
So he was rescued as a boy from evil socialism by kindly priests.
How do you suppose that worked out for him?
(Operation Pedro Pan? wtf?)
I hope he doesn’t forget that Caroline Kennedy has a Florida address. Sweeeeeet Caroline!
richardwb1: “operation peter bread”? suspicions are raised. what is “peter bread”? i thought that stuff was best raw.
Crist on a Cracker: The tale of the last Hispanic republican.
Why is that rabbit smashing his head against Mel’s shoulder in the blingee?
Aha, the CAT made him resign!
http://bit.ly/u4EX7
I didn’t know Palin flu was that contagious.
So wait, he hangs in after it was proven the notorious “Schiavo memo” came out of his office, and NOW it’s time to go back home to the fambly? Classic sign of a douchebag.
Lordy! Mel sure hates the Crist, don’t he?
Unless, of course, this isn’t just to fug Charlie in a political sense, but — and to paraphrase you — he done wrong.
norbizness: GREAT LINE!!
Dashboard_Buddha: that’s what makes it ‘tasteful’
slappypaddy: what is “peter bread”?
You make it with dill dough. I got a million of ‘em.
I truly hope it goes to Kitty. It’s been a long time since her sweater puppies were on display here on teh Wonketts
Once upon a time the ‘Mercan peoples were so irked by elected officials overstaying their welcome they passed all these quaint things called “mandatory term limits”. Who knew Publicans would get so radical we’d have to start passing “mandatory terms”?
richardwb1: Operation Pedro Pan, run by priests, in Flordia, to assist young helpless boys. I hope this has been shut down.
desertwind: I’m glad it occurred to someone else that from a “cooperating to further the interests of the party” point of view this early departure is a real “fuck you, Charlie” from Martinez. Crist is damned if he do and damned if he don’t in this situation.
Paterlanger: I wonder if Jeb paid Mel off.
Crist is my favorite closet cock-botherer: silver-fox hair, good-dresser for a politician, plus he has a smokin’ hot wife who probably needs to be fucked sideways.
From living in Miami and being immersed in their politics, I would assume someone found out about a series of sweetheart development or contract deals that he received kickbacks from. With the whole Cuban machismo/marianismo, sex scandals are less of an issue.
How about Limbaugh for a replacement?
He’s pullin’ a Palin.
Its the big FU from Martinez to Crist when Christ couldn’t support Sotomayor in order to shore up his far right wing nuts
Sometimes these guys actually have an honorable reason for resigning early. No reason for any of them not to put it in their statement: “Make a TON of money working as a lobbyist/consultant for the corporations I served so faithfully in the Senate.”
“the town hall protests that have electrified YouTube…” well, it’s not exactly “Surprised Hamster” or “Leave Britney Alone!”
I’m worried about Peggy. This is really off the rails, even for her.
one less Senator to keep an eye on Cuba!
Monsieur Grumpe: Dude, it’s true.
Really, Astroboy wants to know WTF - First Palin, then this clown….and for pretty flimsy reasons given. Oh please Wonkette, you who know and see all in the beltway please tell us what the imminent scandal(s) is/are?????!!!!!! Plllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaase!
Sarah Palin Fever - CATCH IT!
Capitol Hillbilly: – or comes out. Whichever.
The Sinking Ship Syndrome
Left and rights of passage, black and whites of youth.
Who can face the knowledge that the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete absolute.
Anthrax Intimidation.
JFK RFK MLK Malcolm.
Israel-first dual-nationals.
InfoWars on a PrisonPlanet?
A very RawStory on PressTV.
Whistle-Blower leaks multiply.
Beware the divide and conquer.
Both parties are corrupt to the core.
Honesty compassion conscience guts.
Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil?
Elite Ruling Class Greed or “public servants”?
Independents agree on more than we disagree.
AIPAC 9/11 Bankers Extortion Blackmail Bribery.
Wall Street Bailout Bill: Bush McCain Obama et al.
Poodles, Puppets, Sham debates, & Scam elections.
Has the Government & Propaganda Media lied to you?
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Chronic lying as career path, intellectual prostitution for paycheck.
DNC & RNC have both sold out the country in order to enrich themselves.
Future of a Nation that can not trust the Government & Propaganda Media?
Realignment of American Politics:
Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura
nader paul kucinich gravel: We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning since the world was turning.
Todd Mecklem: Abdul. Get it? Her people are from the Middle East, so we can’t have it. She’s probably a terrorist. That drunk talk is the perfect disguise. Think of all the Manolos, Jimmy Choos, and press-on nails that would have to be searched for plastique. As if the FBI isn’t busy enough! And God knows we don’t need anyone else taking an oath on the Koran-disguised-as-some-dead-president’s-Bible that’s been decorated with a Bedazzler.