HOT NEW INTERNET FUN THINGS  4:47 pm August 6, 2009

Sell Out Your Friends And Lovers To The White House ‘Enemies List’

by Jim Newell

Here’s a rapid response Astroturfing e-mail your editors received this afternoon from a PR assistant named “Kevin McVicker.” Kevin writes, “Citizens for the Republic, a national grassroots organization, is responding to the Whitehouse’s heavy handed tactic of trying to compile information on those that are critical of the President’s healthcare plan. This is a vital free speech issue. Please contact me to arrange an interview with one of our spokesmen.” As we alluded to in the earlier post about that slobbery fart-bag Fred Thompson’s Twitter, this notion of the “enemies list” has become the hot new well-funded wingnut con-job from Republican operatives over the last 24 hours. Use it or lose it!

This stems from the Democrats’ recent pushback against the anti-health care reform movement’s operation to (a) shout violent nonsense at town hall meetings and (b) spread lies to America’s stupid old people about how the government will first “take over their Medicare” and then murder each of them, for pleasure, well before that first sniffle becomes a full-blown cold or pancreatic cancer. On Tuesday, a writer for the “White House blog” wrote the following about how to keep tabs on all the misinformation (“disinformation”) constantly landing in the inboxes of America’s stupidest and most selfish specimens:

There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to

Add some flour, three eggs, and a teaspoon of vanilla extract, wait one day, and we have this:

Texas Sen. John Cornyn, accusing the White House of compiling an “enemies list,” has asked President Barack Obama to stop an effort to collect “fishy” information Americans see about a health care overhaul.

Cornyn, who leads the Republicans’ Senate campaign effort, said Wednesday in a letter to Obama that he’s concerned that citizen engagement on the issue could be “chilled.” He also expressed alarm that the White House could end up collecting electronic information on its critics.

Wait another few hours, and we get Kevin McVicker’s e-mail:

“In true Nixonian style, President Barack Obama cannot tolerate criticism or even the notion that his cherished Government Health Care Plan may go down to defeat,” said Stephen Manfredi, Executive Director of Citizens for the Republic. “By urging citizens to turn in those who oppose the Administration’s healthcare plan, he is summoning the tactics of Richard Nixon, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley and the paranoia of Oliver Stone.

“Imagine, the very idea of dropping a dime on fellow citizens dredges up some of the most bleak episodes in American history, from Colonial times when King George III’s rule was absolute to George Orwell’s 1984, where citizens were monitored by Big Brother.

Oh my god.

Well, if there’s going to be an Enemies List, might as well use it!

It’s a start.

Cornyn accuses White House of compiling ‘enemies list’ [Dallas Morning News]
Facts Are Stubborn Things [White House Blog]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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TGY August 6, 2009 at 4:54 pm


Toy Needle August 6, 2009 at 5:03 pm

So that’s what knocked Twitter off line. Sheesh.

V572625694 August 6, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Certainly George Orwell’s 1984 was one of the bleakest episodes in American history, except for two things: it didn’t take place in America, and it didn’t take place at all, since it was a work of fiction.

But still: keep the government out of my Medicare! Hands off, Obama!

Atheist Nun August 6, 2009 at 5:08 pm

For all the squares who get me pissed:

SayItWithWookies August 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=380291]V572625694[/re]: It also brings to mind that bleak episode in American history when a shipful of brave explorers was sent on a rescue mission but their android leader didn’t tell them the real reason they were sent was to bring back an alien egg and the whole crew was actually expendable. We should all go to our town halls now and tell Obama we will not be sacrificed for alien monster eggs! Never forget!

LittlePig August 6, 2009 at 5:55 pm

I’m going to have a hard time getting a bag big enough for all the lightly salted poison rat dicks Mr. McVicker will need to consume.

natoslug August 6, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=380295]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Is that the episode where the Globetrotters also get stranded?

slappypaddy August 6, 2009 at 6:01 pm

ve haff a leest uff namez. you haff nutting too be vurriet about.

Mad Farmer Manifest August 6, 2009 at 6:01 pm

First they came for the Birthers, and I did nothing because come on! Have you heard these people? Unfuckingbelievable! But I digress. Then they came for those who constantly lied and misrepresented the facts to keep the people ignorant and fearful and poverty-ridden. And I was all “cool, man!” Then they came for the cops that arrest black dudes for no good reason, and I did nothing because they were just picking them up for beers and racial harmony chats. Then they stopped because they’d cleaned up the streets.

I guess that’s way less horrifying than what actual fascist do, innit?

The Cold Sea August 6, 2009 at 6:07 pm

OMG! McVicker is right. This is just like the Holocaust. It’s a white man’s Wounded Knee!

hobospacejunkie August 6, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Well that hurts, McVicker, and I don’t think I want to take you, or your luggage, to the airport.

thehelveticascenario August 6, 2009 at 6:08 pm

When’s Fred Thompson gonna come up with a conspiracy theory for Wonkette’s downtime?

Gopherit August 6, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Psssh. Amateurs. Rushbo already went all Godwin’s Law on this:

Extemporanus August 6, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Has no one else’s Wonkette been hax0rzd?!

Mine has LOOKED LIKE THIS off-and-on for the last hour!


Carson August 6, 2009 at 6:09 pm

They’ll never take Truck Nutz alive!

ManchuCandidate August 6, 2009 at 6:09 pm

I wonder if these assholes regret the whole Unitary Preznit/warrantless wiretapping thing/suspending Habeas Corpus/fucking with the constitution when a brown guy and the gang of wimps has the power.

memzilla August 6, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Why not have Intern Riley interview the poor White House Intern who has to sift through all of these emails? Maybe even swap jobs for a week?

stink, but August 6, 2009 at 6:10 pm

It’s good that we’re turning all these people in, but do you have to be so capsy?

El Pinche August 6, 2009 at 6:10 pm




The Station Manager August 6, 2009 at 6:10 pm

So the Republicans strategy is as follows:

A) Listen to what the current administration has to say.

2) Intentionally misinterpret every fucking thing they can in the worst fucking way imaginable.

III) Totally freak the fuck out and basically incite incredibly fucking assholish behavior, if not violence.

Sounds like a winner to me!

slappypaddy August 6, 2009 at 6:11 pm

it’s all a big misunderstanding. it’s not an “enemies” list, it’s an “enemas” list. the white house is compiling data on people it wants to help flush out — for their own best health! — as part of its mondo healthcare revolution and free love plan. it is said that certain members of the congress and the media are at the top of the list. the program slogan is “free enemas and free your mind.”

Peter H. Cropes August 6, 2009 at 6:11 pm

What’s next in this man’s reign of Internet terror, citizens? Will exiled African Prince NObama execute the enemies who do not cash his Western Union checks and let him tap into the richest of deepest Africa that are rightfully his, by birth, in Africa? HMMMMM?

The Station Manager August 6, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Although I am impressed that they used the right “You’re”!

Humpback August 6, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Boy, it’s a good thing around here we have user names and avatars to hide bahind. Cause we’d sure as heck be on somebody’s list, either in the last or the next administration. Um, you aren’t saving our real identities anyplace, are you Wonkette?

qwerty42 August 6, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=380311]Extemporanus[/re]: Was unable to connect because of time out … was our Wonkette under attack? Jim, this is what happens when we return to those days of 1984 as Sen Cornyn has so prudently warned.

Formerly Preferred August 6, 2009 at 6:14 pm

[re=380295]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Wasn’t that the plot of the movie Cocoon?

V572625694 August 6, 2009 at 6:14 pm

[re=380321]slappypaddy[/re]: ACORN will go door to door with enema bags, and afterwards they’ll ask you how you want to die. Barney Frank will write the enabling legislation.

It’s just like Nixon! Obama is just like Nixon!

shadowMark August 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=380291]V572625694[/re]: Well, no, 1984 “didn’t take place at all” but that’s just because Apple released Macintosh. If it weren’t for Macs right now we’d all have cages on our heads and rats eating our faces.

AnnieGetYourFun August 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=380321]slappypaddy[/re]: Yes, Obama is just taking part in some ethnic cleansing… colon cleansing! I meant colon cleasing! For white people, who he hates.

BadKitty August 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Are they really collecting an email list of people who suspect they’re on an email list?

The stupidity is bottomless, isn’t it?

Atheist Nun August 6, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Dammit, I knew our Wonkette was under DOS attack or something! I guess I shouldn’t have posted that stuff about Mitt Romney’s Space Jesus Underoos.

[re=380331]V572625694[/re]: Really, I don’t know why these loons are worried about the whole thing, since ACORN™®© already handed over the names of anyone who didn’t vote for Obama the day after the election: You’re already fucked, paranoids!

widget09 August 6, 2009 at 6:19 pm

They just can’t open up the FEMA concentration camps soon enough. The wacky right just keeps on pushing the self destruct button and getting weirder every day. First they were teabaggers (until they found out what that was), then they became birthers (untill they realized how stupid that was) now the have somehow morphed into “Citizens of the Republic”, which sounds kinda roman. Hail Panniculas, emporer of Teabags.

desertwind August 6, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Oh, thank god for [re=380311]Extemporanus[/re]:

I thought it was just me gettin’ the slow plus wacky wonkette page load thingie happening.

problemwithcaring August 6, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=380311]Extemporanus[/re]: Yes. I just assumed God and Magoo didn’t want me to comment on this post.

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Probably they assume that Obama is doing what they would do; what they did under Nixon and Bush the Younger.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 6:41 pm

[re=380297]LittlePig[/re]: What’s a Rep doing, criticizing Nixon, anyway??


Canuckledragger August 6, 2009 at 6:41 pm

Where was Cornyn when NSA compiled its “enema list?”

Oh yeah… suckin’ George Bush’s dick!

Thanks fer nuthin’, Big Bad John.

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 6:44 pm

[re=380331]V572625694[/re]: I vaguely remember navy shipmates reading aloud from a novel named Enema Bag Rapist. The title says it all.


BlueStateLibtard August 6, 2009 at 6:44 pm

I don’t care about all of this petty bullshit. Just tell me where I can send in my Enemies’ of Obama list. I’ve got brothers, cousins, in-laws, ex-bosses, co-workers, and lots more who I’d turn in in a heartbeat.

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 6:45 pm

If it isn’t yet possible to buy a lettre de cachet and send your ex to the Salt Pit in Bagram, it soon will be!


zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=380343]widget09[/re]: Remember, these people are also buying up AK-47s and ammo faster than Walmart can keep them in stock. Be prepared to flee or fight.


SlipperyDick August 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Aw, Come on. A government that can’t even run a CashFor Clunkers program surely isn’t capable of spying on us.

V572625694 August 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=380380]zhubajie[/re]: Wow, sailors are special breed. Guess you have to have some relief from fantasizing about the captain’s Filipino cabinboy in his loincloth.

widget09 August 6, 2009 at 6:52 pm

I will fight them with farts from rush limpdicks ass.

Tommmcatt August 6, 2009 at 7:01 pm



What were we talking about?

jagorev August 6, 2009 at 7:02 pm

Jim: from now on, when you ban a Wonkette commenter, plz send their email address to

Werefrog August 6, 2009 at 7:06 pm

One of my “friends” on Facebook created a group that is similar in spirit to this (It’s called “Report Yourself” to Obama or something dumb like this). God, the health care debate just keeps getting stupider. I’ve always been jaded, but even I have been disappointed by how much of a farce this has become.

canadians for pussy August 6, 2009 at 7:23 pm

should i send in my enemas list or should i make a new list ??

problemwithcaring August 6, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=380415]Werefrog[/re]: I have a Log Cabin Republican “friend” (ex-intern) on Facebook who is constantly linking to Fox articles and shit. I will admit that I only added him because I am waiting for when the Republicans do something truly heinous in the realm of gay/human rights for the opportunity to rub it all in and over his goddamn face. So, yes. “Friend.”

davitydave August 6, 2009 at 7:39 pm

I had a Facebook friend whose status read, “Out: Fascism. In: Fishism. Anybody else frightened?”

qaf August 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Wasn’t it back under Reagan that we were supposed to cheer on children who turned their parents in to the police? How times change.

mad mom August 6, 2009 at 8:06 pm

I think Congressman Bob Latta, from Ohio’s 5th Congressional District, has the neatest Republican solution to all political problems that I’ve come across yet: bypass the voter completely. When you get one of his robo-polls, if you don’t say anything at all, the automated voice goes right ahead and provides you with your answer anyhow (e.g., after a long pause in which you say absolutely nothing because you can’t figure out how to tell a robot exactly what you think of it, or of Congressman Latta, in a way that would be truly meaningful to the robot, it says urgently, “Your answer is, Yes, I am extremely concerned!”) Automated answers to automated questions–this solves the whole polling problem, and is a true Ohio solution given that here’s where Republicans figured out how to cast votes without going through the messiness of using actual voters. (Go Buckeyes!) With this in mind, I have to assume the GOP already has an automated enemies’ list and therefore doesn’t need to do all that heavy lifting like the Kenyan people in the White House….

Carrie_Okie August 6, 2009 at 8:27 pm

Nagger Pleez.

steverino247 August 6, 2009 at 9:58 pm

The President of the United States does not have a “shit list.” However, he does maintain a fecal roster.

Werefrog August 6, 2009 at 11:02 pm

I just realized my favorite part of this. Despite the fact that they’re comparing this to the bleak moment of American history that was 1984, they fail to draw a comparison to McCarthyism which is what this would be like if it had an actual base in reality. Maybe it is like 1984 in that both this and 1984 are fictional.

Mike Steele August 7, 2009 at 12:31 am

Also, please contact the White House if you see any Republican legislator showing interest in girls.

AxmxZ August 7, 2009 at 1:01 am

If I get on Obama’s shit list, will Rahm come for me? Oh please let him come for me.

Zorg August 7, 2009 at 2:00 am

Who should I notify with the following explosive information? I have it on good authority that Blitzen is Jewish.

Marlowe August 7, 2009 at 2:07 am

I’m glad you only want our hands off your medicare.
So hands on body OK?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 7, 2009 at 4:44 am

What is Cornyn complaining about? He, as much as anyone, should know that we will all unify once the up coming war with India starts.

widget09 August 7, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=380643]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Should be a quick war. We will bombard them with B-52 loaded with cows.

Oldskool August 7, 2009 at 1:36 pm

It’s hard to be snarkish anymore. The country is going down another shithole thanks to the same cynical, vile assholes responsible for the previous eight years. But when they finally get their way, and petulant children usually get their way, at least they’ll have to live in the same broken down wreck of a country as the rest of us.

nader paul kucinich gravel August 8, 2009 at 2:06 am

Single payer
Premium free
Medicare for all
Big Pharma on diet
Zero insurance profit
No deductible & no co-pay
Off the table? Just like Impeachment was?!

Left and rights of passage, black and whites of youth.
Who can face the knowledge that the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete absolute.

Anthrax Intimidation.
JFK RFK MLK Malcolm.
Israel-first dual-nationals.
InfoWars on a PrisonPlanet?
A very RawStory on PressTV.
Whistle-Blower leaks multiply.
Beware the divide and conquer.
Both parties are corrupt to the core.
Honesty compassion conscience guts.
Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil?
Elite Ruling Class Greed or “public servants”?
Independents agree on more than we disagree.
AIPAC 9/11 Bankers Extortion Blackmail Bribery.
Wall Street Bailout Bill: Bush McCain Obama et al.
Poodles, Puppets, Sham debates, & Scam elections.
Has the Government & Propaganda Media lied to you?
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Chronic lying as career path, intellectual prostitution for paycheck.
DNC & RNC have both sold out the country in order to enrich themselves.
Future of a Nation that can not trust the Government & Propaganda Media?

Realignment of American Politics:
Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura

existangt August 10, 2009 at 6:39 am

[re=380324]Humpback[/re]: I think the point of the article is…. who really gives a shit who is keeping a list? The Obama Administration is not breaking any laws by keeping such a list and there is no evidence they are using such a list for anything more sinister than planning their media campaign vis a vis health care reform. Anyone that takes it any more seriously than that needs to get a life.

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