Wonkette
ROMNEY’S HOT NEW POTBOILER DUE OUT IN MARCH: Smut merchant Mittens “Willard” Romney will publish a sexy new nonfictional work, No Apology: The Case for American Greatness, an unapologetically graphic 304-page how-to guide to Tantric brain-sex with the awesomest nation on earth. Reserve your copy now! [NBC's Newly Redesigned Local News Sites, Which Are So Purty]
The Imperial Romans, Britons, Ottomans, Aztecs, Egyptians, Incas, Athenians, French, Spanish and Japanese had their version of Mittens prancing about, but I think they were known as fools and spent most of the time cupping their leader’s balls.
On the purty new NBC Washington webtubez page, the “Washington” logo, the “O” in Washington has cross hairs on it. Just sayin’. The alt text should say “Holy Shit!”
You should have used the above photo.
hmmm the word Fudge…and Mitt putting on Rubber Gloves…makes me think….proctologist…anyone else got that feeling?
From a Mormon perspective, the only thing great about America is its sheer size. They would all have been murdered if they had to stay in NY or IL or MO. But now there’s a Muslim in the White House! Maybe it’s just time for Utah to succeed and Mittens can be president of “Deseret.”
From the introduction: “America has, since Jesus showed up here after his resurrection and preached the doctrine of Christ Crucified to the ancient inhabitants of our great land, been a nation that is great - not just good, but gee wilikers gosh darn terrific. We have never done anything wrong, and our system of privatized existence is the envy of the third world. Some people, mostly minorities (who are not great), say that America should have a regulated financial system and universal healthcare, and that we should not indiscriminately bomb countries just so we can gain access to their resources. I say balderdash! This country was built on three ideas: complete freedom for business; the ability profit off of anything; and the right of the United States to blow the shit out of commies who are hoarding our precious oil. SO THERE.”
Looks like Mittens has been dipping into the same fake tanner that John Boehner uses.
No apologies, goddamnit that’s right, too much apologizin’ goin’ on here, that’s what’s wrong w/US America. That and the fact that all Republicans except Mitt, and most of the Democrats, are totally on the take from lobbyists. But no apologies, okay? We’re great! USA! Fuck yeah!
Is it a mere accident that Sara’s story shares a page with “Weirdest Creatures of the World”?
But what if America embraces SOCIALIZED MEDICINE? Won’t that mean it is not Great anymore?
My choice. My Wonkette.: Ugh, I mean “secede”
What Mitt knows about greatness can fill 300 pages? Come on — half of that must be about his hair.
Chapter One: Government Health Care: My Proudest Achievement!
Chapter Two: Tolerance in America: How I am Proud of the Gayez and that Massachuetses was the first state to allow them to wed.
Chapter Three: Abortion: In America, we must always respect privacy and an individuals control over their own body.
…
Chapter 32: Government Health Care: The Socialist Scourge.
Chapter 33: Tolerance in America: Why we must protect Traditional Marriage.
Chapter 34: Abortion: Why Religious Men know what is best for Women.
I pray there will be major jabs at tubby Huckabee and Sarah Barracuda. “At least I finished my term. All she did was whine and dine.”
How is he going to explain the fact that Gog and Magog beat the GOP?
that does not sound so great…
If you’re using a book during sex, then you’re doing it wrong.
The literary equivalent of NyQuil.
My choice. My Wonkette.: Or “succeed,” same difference. I mean, are Mormons even Americans??? Maybe I can find the answer in the book Mittens wrote before running for office, Protestant Gentiles Repent: The Case for Mormon Greatness. There’s a WorldNetDaily exclusive.
Reagan is his 9/11
Unless it comes with a complementary pair of edible space pajamas, count me out.
Fudge Packers I Have Known and Loved, by ‘Mittens’ Romney: #105,352 in “Cut-rate Political Bullshit” on Amazon.com
No Apology: I Believe In An Alien Space Jesus That Will Give Me My Own Planet Of Woman-Slaves After I Die In My Magic Underwear
I don’t remember this episode of “Scrubs”.
He’s naming his book after Chris Rock’s recent world tour?!
I guess that’s better than his first choice, Whom let the dogs get out: Whom? Whom?
Will he finally reveal who Really let the dogs out?
He will need to establish a rallying cry like “Drill baby drill” or “Obama Akbar” to drown out the “we need fucking health care”. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.
It’s cynical to discount Romney’s hardscrabble upbringing. His father used to make him drive a Rambler.
Does that include no apology for slavery as congress recently issued? Take that, me!
Bald Eagle, Bald Pussy: Porn Distribution Profit$ in the Greatest Nation in which our hero recounts his days at Mariott. Why do socialists hate free enterprise?
This is the companion to his little-known treatise on religion: No Basis In Reality: Why You Should Wear Magic Underwear and Worship Space Jeebus Anyway
So Mittens subscribes to the Montgomery Burns school of titles. Others considered include How Excellent is America, America is Really Super and Why I Wear Them: The Case for Magic Underwear in the New American Century.
My choice. My Wonkette.: Or, perhaps, ‘fail’.
How ghetto.
Yeah, but his hair and teeth are perfect
As told to William Ayres.
I think a great title would be “I’m so great-you’re so great: The worlds #1 self help book, Changing the lives of billions”.
My choice. My Wonkette.: Damn right the Mormons were chased out of NY. Burned-over district, Jesus-lovin’ Western New Yorkers don’t believe in no magic-underpants-wearin’ multiple-bride marryin’, fudge-packin’ cultists. Though the Hill Cummorah Pageant is nice for the tourist trade.
Willard & Beck should attend Temple together
Left and rights of passage, black and whites of youth.
Who can face the knowledge that the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete absolute.
Anthrax Intimidation.
JFK RFK MLK Malcolm.
Israel-first dual-nationals.
InfoWars on a PrisonPlanet?
A very RawStory on PressTV.
Whistle-Blower leaks multiply.
Beware the divide and conquer.
Both parties are corrupt to the core.
Honesty compassion conscience guts.
Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil?
Elite Ruling Class Greed or “public servants”?
Independents agree on more than we disagree.
AIPAC 9/11 Bankers Extortion Blackmail Bribery.
Wall Street Bailout Bill: Bush McCain Obama et al.
Poodles, Puppets, Sham debates, & Scam elections.
Has the Government & Propaganda Media lied to you?
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Chronic lying as career path, intellectual prostitution for paycheck.
DNC & RNC have both sold out the country in order to enrich themselves.
Future of a Nation that can not trust the Government & Propaganda Media?
Realignment of American Politics:
Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura