RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  6:15 pm August 6, 2009

RedState Recalls Obama’s Best-Seller, ‘Mein Kampf,’ Which Was Ghostwritten By Bill Ayers

by Riley Waggaman

  • Check out the latest hot erotica, Townhalls Gone Wild. Have your FEMA debit card ready! [DailyKos]
  • R.I.P., Rupert Murdoch. We hardly knew ye. [Market Watch/Something Awful]
  • The doorbell rings. Who could that be? you say to yourself. Oh, it’s a little Girl Scout, selling cookies. “Get lost kid. Already bought 10 boxes of them Thin Mints, from Walmart. And they were hella cheap too, because Walmart isn’t unionized.” The little girl starts to cry. Typical union guilt-trip trickery, you think to yourself. [Jeffrey Goldberg]
  • “One could say that the way Obama was able to convince people that he really didn’t adhere to his own previously stated positions is much closer to the example of Adolph Hitler and Mein Kampf than it is to any part of the The Joker’s history.” Uh. We read RedState so you don’t have to. [RedState]
  • In a shrewd political maneuver, Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO) points out that he has a birth certificate, thus distancing himself from Barack Obama, forever. [TPM]
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AnnieGetYourFun August 6, 2009 at 6:19 pm

The Mein Kampf comparisons never, ever get old or disingenuous.

slappypaddy August 6, 2009 at 6:21 pm

“We read RedState so you don’t have to.”

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. if you’re ever in town, i’ll stand your crew a round of drinks.

EdFlinstone August 6, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Great now I can walk by those little girls in front of the Walmart, and save 50 cents. Sorry girls, your not going to build-a-bear or the amusement park this year. It should be only a few weeks before the cookie factory moves to china so I can save another 10 cents. Walmart can now not only destroy American jobs they can also take a slice out of charity. Now thats a 2 for 1.

widget09 August 6, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Javohl mein Furher, I mean Mr Prisident.

Humpback August 6, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Could you please read TownHall for me too? Because it makes me cry a little.

SayItWithWookies August 6, 2009 at 6:29 pm

The President gave me $4500 for my piece-of-crap car and then subsidized my health care. Now I know what it’s like to be shoved into a crowded boxcar and shipped to a concentration camp.

WadISay August 6, 2009 at 6:36 pm

For another similarity, Hitler could drain 3-pointers all day, too. Look it up.

V572625694 August 6, 2009 at 6:45 pm

People already pay to read the Wall Street Journal on line, because Murdoch hasn’t ruined it yet. Can’t see that happening with Fox News Channel. How much would you pay to see Steve Doucey trade thoughts with interchangeable Fox blonde airheads?

Then again, if the blonde airheads would strip…

[re=380360]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You might be forced to ride mass transit to work, too. Quelle horreur!

hobospacejunkie August 6, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Yeah, because Hitler’s primary worry through 12 years of insanity was convincing people that he really didn’t adhere to his own previously stated positions. He had a huge fucking electorate to please, after all.

OzoneTom August 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Murdoch R.I.P. — you had my hopes up there for a moment.

But how would he know that “Quality journalism is not cheap”?

Oh yeah, because of what he paid for WSJ before he parted it out and sold the quality.

maven August 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Did you see the Red State story just prior to the one you referenced? How low can they go?

Mad Farmer Manifest August 6, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Hey Wingtards! Is it possible for you fuckbags to say ANYTHING about Obama that isn’t a parroting of what we said about Bush for 8 years or about birf sertificats? Anything at all?

McDuff August 6, 2009 at 6:54 pm

[re=380360]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, since you mention box cars, apparently Orly Titz is also saying people have seen the FEMA boxcars lined up on rail sidings, complete with rings welded to the insides of the cars to secure our chains when the Joker ships us all to the camps.

McDuff August 6, 2009 at 6:59 pm

BTW, doesn’t Red State have it backwards about Mein Kampf? I thought Hitler did EXACTLY what he said he do in the book — restore Germany’s greatness by fighting Soviet communism and getting rid of the Jews.

Tommmcatt August 6, 2009 at 7:10 pm


You do know that Red State is just something the government put online to keep the mentally ill from playing with their own feces, right?

hiphophitler August 6, 2009 at 7:16 pm

I always thought my mom was a nazi too. The evidence? (1) she made me go to bed by 9; (2) she made me eat vegetables when I didn’t want to, and (3) she made me take showers every night. Oh, and she killed 8 million Jews. Coincidence? I think not!

assistant/atlas August 6, 2009 at 7:17 pm

“We read RedState so you don’t have to.”

And we appreciate and pity you for that….

assistant/atlas August 6, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=380399]Mad Farmer Manifest[/re]: TelePromPTerz! …that was an original, right?

4tehlulz August 6, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=380423]hiphophitler[/re]: That, and you’re hiphophitler, so yeah…

ManchuCandidate August 6, 2009 at 7:21 pm

I’d rather they just played with their own feces than pretend they have any intellectual capacity whatsoever. Easier to clean.

lionboy August 6, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Hey Townhallers! Show us your prostates and catheter bags! Nice!

Katydid August 6, 2009 at 7:37 pm

That RedState article was gibberish. He couldn’t even get the one-word quote from the poster right – he wrote “socialist” when it’s “socialism.”

And why do all the wingnuts have to put quotes from Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, or Calvin Coolidge on all of their comments? Have they no thoughts of their own?

InbredSouthernKitty August 6, 2009 at 7:50 pm

Red State is just so….so, just so, uhmmmm, Sarah Palin! They all love Sarah down here. They are all out of work, can’t pay their rent, but by God..and he’s going to save them (if they have guns) that they aren’t worried about some libbie, commie, dem site like “wonkette”, thanks be to Jesus!

glamourdammerung August 6, 2009 at 7:51 pm

[re=380438]Katydid[/re]: Honestly, I can seldom tell what the RedState Keyboard Kommandos are even commenting about, or tell a difference between their comments from one article to the next.

I sometimes wonder when the conservative “movement” went from being about keeping down the coloreds to performance art (and keep down the coloreds).

Extemporanus August 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Though it’s heartening to learn that K-Billy scored a new gig after “Super Sounds of the 70s” got cancelled, his voice-over work on that Townhalls Gone Wild video gave me a major soft-on.

qaf August 6, 2009 at 8:04 pm

So Rupert Murdoch is vanishing from the net, big deal. Get back to me when this senior of serial citizenship is learning Chinese (as Tom Lehrer said of Werner von Braun).

imissopus August 6, 2009 at 8:25 pm

[re=380395]maven[/re]: That made so little sense I had to read it about four times. Let me see if I’ve got this right:

Activists for NMSS meeting one-on-one with their reps to talk about healthcare reform is somehow equal to paid-for corporate shills going en masse to town halls to boo, jeer, shout down anyone who supports reform, and even physically threaten the congressional rep leading the discussion.

Yep, exactly the same.

Next on RedState: Fuck the Girl Scouts and their goddamn cookies!

finallyhappy August 6, 2009 at 8:41 pm

No Walmarts in my part of town. I’ll be buying cookies from a kid from our local school – where I was the girl scout cookie mom for 5 years(many years ago- when we co-existed with the unicorns and dinosaurs).

Mad Farmer Manifest August 6, 2009 at 8:44 pm

[re=380425]assistant/atlas[/re]: I blocked that idiocy out. Thanks for bringing it back.

I went to buy ammo for my hunting rifle yesterday, and the store is still out. The older lady that runs the ammo area and I had a nice time ripping on wingtards, but still. Scary, peeps, scary. These fuckers are ready for Armageddon. They’ll be disappointed. It’s actually going to be Ragnarok. Fenris wolf, FTW!

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 6, 2009 at 8:53 pm

What Red State missed was the fact that the poster is in fact a plant. And now all Obama has to do is do a quick Google search for it, and every site that has a copy of it will be put on the Enemy’s list. I sure hope Red State’s editors enjoy their time at Gitmo.

hiphophitler August 6, 2009 at 9:01 pm

[re=380426]4tehlulz[/re]: Oh, yeah. That too. I forget sometimes . . .

Mahousu August 6, 2009 at 9:11 pm

[re=380496]imissopus[/re]: Next on RedState: Fuck the Girl Scouts and their goddamn cookies!
I don’t know about RedState, but I saw that on RedTube not too long ago. I did not realize the holes in Samoas could be used in that way.

Holding Out for a Hero August 6, 2009 at 9:15 pm

“Then he broke the barriers of war and through the swollen river swiftly took his standards. And Riley crossed the flood and reached the right wing dark places of the interwebs.

From Hesperia’s Forbidden Fields he took his stand and said, “Here I abandoned reason and desecrated law; Red State it is you I follow. Farewell to Wonkette. From now on war is our judge!” Hail Ken Layne! We who are about to die salute you!”

norbizness August 6, 2009 at 9:34 pm

If you read RedState so we don’t have to (a dubious proposition, at best), then eighty-six the fucking links to that wasteland.

dijetlo August 6, 2009 at 10:10 pm

[re=380542]norbizness[/re]: Exactly, he can just post something like this once a week.
” They’re still smearing poo on the walls at redstate”
We’ll know what you mean.
Honestly Riley, the things you’ll do for a weekly hand job defy imagination. In the name of Barnum and Bailey, boy, there is a depth to which even Dana Milbank will not sink, please, get some standards.
And burn that damn pink sweater…
wow, I feel much better now
Sorry Riley, as you were.

tombones August 6, 2009 at 10:34 pm

riley what’s your Forums Name

snideinplainsight August 6, 2009 at 10:43 pm

Roy Blunt – he’s bone-ified!!!

maven August 6, 2009 at 10:46 pm

[re=380496]imissopus[/re]: I suppose they hate people with multiple sclerosis because it reminds them of Michael J Fox, and according to Rush Limbaugh people with severe neurological deficiencies are mostly just faking it anyway, so any attempt on their part to ensure medical care for these MS “frauds” is just like Hitler and his “socialist” colleagues (who at least had valid “real” white country birth certificates, also).

stink, but August 6, 2009 at 11:39 pm

Don’t tease me with premature notices of Rupert Murdoch’s long-overdue demise.

villageatrois August 7, 2009 at 1:29 am

Sir Rupert of Mordor has shuffled off his mortal coil? GREAT FUCKIN’ JESUS FANTASTIC! RIP, indeed, heh, heh, heh.

Herman the German August 7, 2009 at 3:13 am

I as a German am proud that Obama is one of us.

MissM August 7, 2009 at 9:46 am

[re=380419]Tommmcatt[/re]: FTW! That made me laugh until I coughed like a wheezy wingnut trying to get from the recliner to the fridge

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