Wonkette
Poor Ex-Congressman William “Dollar Bill” Jefferson of Louisiana! All the man did was use his seat on the Ways and Means Committee to secretly broker a deal between a Virginia telecom company and the Nigerian vice president, the $90,000 bribe for which he laundered in emptied food wrappers in his home freezer, and now some do-gooder activist Alexandria jury has found him guilty on 11 of 16 corruption counts for a possible sentencing of 115 years in jail. What’s the point of being a congressman, then? [Times-Picayune]
Jefferson is wishing they tried him in Metarie rather than Alexandria.
I hear that in jail, if you were a congressman, they use fancy flavored lubes.
Look, if we’re gonna start actually CONVICTING politicians of corruption in this country, then it just isn’t going to be AMERICA any more.
God bless the huffington post for posting a picture of a giant enema next to Fred Thompson’s face.
Sure, his lawyer was right that it goes with the territory in congress. But that would actually be an argument for giving him the chair, as lesson for others. Hapless old Jefferson needed some better council.
Alex Trebeks Girl: I think that’s called grape jelly from the commissary.
Pfft, 115 years ain’t shit. I could serve that while standing on my head and shivving a motherfucker in the side.
what kind of chump change is that? If you’re going to get bribed, don’t go out like that. Hold out for enough to fill a freezer, not just enough to fill a box of frozen peas.
Yeah, so Max Baucus is completely, unashamedly taking bribes from the health care industry totalling millions of $$, but Jefferson is going to prison for 90k while substantive change in health care is being strangled to death.
Who said our representative democracy wasn’t a corrupt reptilian cesspool ?
You’d think he’d recognize a Nigerian scam…
My choice. My Wonkette.: you hang every tenth one for an example, that gets the rest in line real fucking quick. you don’t even need trials, just hang every tenth one, makes it real democratic.
Maybe Bill Clinton will negotiate his release…
Tom Delay probably has a semi full of dough hidden someplace. Democrats don’t set their goals high enough.
Out of the deep freeze into the meat locker.
AliBabaInBA: hey, don’t judge man. any humanitarian would believe that the dethroned king of zamoonda is in queens seeking emergency assistance to hide a bunch of dough and meet hot chicks in exchange for bank accounts and favors.
Extortion blackmail bribery corruption.
DNC & RNC have BOTH sold out the country in order to enrich themselves.
hobospacejunkie: “Who said our representative democracy wasn’t a corrupt reptilian cesspool ?” - that is were you go wrong — calling it a representative democracy. I grew up in Canuckistan and do you think small provinces have the same Members of Parliment as big provinces, no. It irks me that New York has the same number of senators as fucking Idaho.
slappypaddy: No trials is good since the worst corruption isn’t illegal. Start with New Gingrich, as a lesson to children about how not to be an adult. Then, hang some Blue Dogs, and to the stake with Sarah Palin, because lipstick tattoos are an abomination before God.
$90,000. Check.
Frozen chicken parts. Check.
Birf certificate. Check.
My choice. My Wonkette.: and an abomination before dr. laura
hobospacejunkie: Jefferson got caught because he was such an amateur about it. I mean, the freezer is the first place thieves and officers serving a search warrant will look.
At this very moment, Hilary Clinton is en route to negotiate his release.
If Bill can fly half-way around the world to fulfill his Mile High Korean Bar-B-scrue fantasy, shouldn’t Hil be able to hitchhike to the Bayou to satisfy her hunger for some blackened gumbo-humping?
nader paul kucinich gravel:
Cause Nader and Gravel really showed their sanity throughout the election. Sorry, but Nader couldn’t even start a Corvair let alone run a country.
Paul? Casting your political net a tad bit wide? You know that “principles” of Libertardism were the driving force behind last year’s economic bust.
Kucinich? Nice decent guy with a crazy hot wife, but not a political force.
Are any of the Jury peoples open to a little bribery? Make that open to some lobbying?
Dreamer: No kidding. Idaho needs more senators! You can’t have too many Larry Craigs. Or Mike Crapos.
Duke Cunningham, a jailed congresscritter from the San Diego suburbs takes the cake, though: he put a list of antiques his wife wanted, with the amount of money he’d earmark for a contractor in exchange for each gimcrack, on goddamn House of Representatives stationery. Even the Republicans thought that was a bit over the top.
So you see? The system works!
Ron Paul is anti-food regulation. He loves rat piss in his Coca-Cola instead of lime twist I guess.
The Station Manager: So 115 years for Jefferson, but war criminal Bolton gets to put up op-eds in the WaPoo?
No Justice, No Peace.
~
If I was a Nigerian scammer, I would start spamming Orly Tights with e-mails like, “I’m Eddie Murphy guy from Coming to America. I have the real Birth Certificate from Mombasa. Give me a US bank account number or two or twenty social security numbers.”
I would also like to predict the rise of the Kenyan scams whereby unwitting birthers are offered lots of copies of birth certificates and photoshops of baby Obama being held up in a hospital in Mombasa by doctors in exchange for whatever scammers are offering these days.
V572625694: But hey - he was best buds with Dusty (NineFingers) Foggo. That has to be worth something.
By the way, the Orliad has indeed been updated.
(I saw someone axing about that yesterday.)
~
If I were an Alexandrian jury member, a) I’d just be glad that an American finally made money off those internet offers from Nigeria, b) cut him slack since he was just continuing the proud Louisiana tradition of political corruption.
ManchuCandidate:
Gravel Kucinich Paul Nader McKinney Ventura Sheehan Kaptur.
The Realignment Of American Politics:
Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura
You know what’s going to happen. Jefferson will be sentenced, hauled off in chains, be ushered through a door and meet … him.
“Hi,” he’ll say. “You know, we share a couple of names.”
“Ye- yes, Mr. President. I guess we do.”
“No, no, I’m not the president any more. Now let’s get you out of here.”
And so William Jefferson Clinton will lead William Jefferson out of prison, onto his private plane, and fly him straight to … North Korea.
Ahhh, this Jefferson thing is petty, but did anyone notice that an actual criminal might get busted. Query the net for ERIK PRINCE damn it.
Gopherit: back in ‘77, I told mom that I’d never do a crime that wouldn’t net me less than $1 million — so I continue to live a poor but mostly honest life of quiet disperation.
Mahousu: so THAT’s what NK got in return for the ladygernalists.Paul Tardy: Really? Is anyone shocked by this? This is what happens when you put fundamentalist warlords on your payroll…Didn’t we learn already that this was a BAD THING?
Good riddance to this corrupt sleazoid. Don’t bother sending Xmas cards for the next 150 years.
My choice. My Wonkette.: slappypaddy: You gotta do it on teevee.
That’s some cold, hard cash.
TGY, that has been done to death. In fact, “cold, hard cash” was exhumed, reanimated and then murdered a few hundred more times since this hit the news way back when.
This just goes to show you that you should never trust a person with two last names, be it William Jefferson, William Clinton or Orly Taitz.
Alex Trebeks Girl: It’s tangier that way.
Ex-Congressman William Jefferson spit in the face of everybody he was sworn to represent. I am unable to find any sympathy in my heart for this greedy ruthless pig. To take the trust of the public and use that trust to fill your pockets with cash is a perfect example of why people no longer have any desire to vote.
Why should we vote republican? Well we should not because they are liers and thief’s and they don’t deserve the trust of the public.
Why should we vote democrat? Well we should not because they are liers and thief’s and they don’t deserve the trust of the public. Senator Cris Dodd should acknowledge to this and resign in the best interest of our country.
Both parties seem to be filled with men and women of low moral character as witnessed by Max Baucus. Max Baucus has presented himself as a champion of the downtrodden and is little more than a paid stooge for big pharma. God what a mess of crap we have voted ourselves into.
Justice would be best served if Jefferson was Bernie Madoff’s cellmate and they butt booger each other until they die in shame. Just saying ‘I’m sort of pissed off.’
Dreamer: “fucking Idaho.” Is that near Boise?