Wonkette
You know how some business trips end up with everybody naked in the hot tub singing Don’t Stop Believin’, and others end with everybody awkwardly standing around making small talk while furtively glancing at their watches? Bill Clinton’s North Korea summer vacation trip likely falls into the latter category, which is a historical first for Bill Clinton. [The Awl via ... North Korea Propaganda Office, maybe?]
Someone failed to spike the punch, obvs.
Nobody told Kim it was picture day.
They’re all a little queasy from that painting and green carpet. Blech!
These folks have the same sad/grim expressions my family did after traveling two weeks in the car together.
The expression on everyone’s face is the telltale sign your at Seaworld.
I think Kim has the same decorator as Aquaman.
Too much green.
You have to wonder what sort of photoshop magic Kim will order to be done to this masterpiece before it gets framed and on his wall?? (besides make himself look a hell of a lot taller)
Speculate away, wonketteers!
Spanning time… “Just look like you like me”
It’s like a bad mural at the Holiday Inn. Ugh.
There’s no better Shamu-zer than Bill Clinton.
I’m sorry but shouldn’t have Bill just snapped his neck and screwed that korean girl right there and then? can someone do a dramatized, reenactment of this?
That guy on the far left must have some huge balls.
“Hey, it was nice to see ya all. Too bad it was under such unfortunate circumstances. We really need to get together more often. Give a call next time you’re in town.”
Come on, you KNOW that right after this picture Clinton and Kim totally excused themselves for a secret coke-fuled orgy with the North Korean womens’ gymnastic team. Bill’s got that twinkle in his eye in that pic, the rascal. And Kim looks great for someone who just had his embalming fluid changed.
azw88: He appears to have already Photoshopped out his marionette strings.
Nice tie, Bill. It was nice in 1993, and is as nice now.
In related news: Shiny blue ties are now illegal in N. Korea. As is food, also.
The Koreans had just asked the Americans how they enjoyed their lunch of young tender puppy dog.
The two journalists, Euna Lee; a Korean-American, and Laura Ling; a Chinese-American, arrived at Burbank airport in Los Angeles on a chartered flight alongside Clinton on Wednesday morning, and were reunited with their families.
Euna Lee and Laura Ling
It will come back to you
Euna Lee and Laura Ling
It will come back to you
Then the shutter falls
You see it all in 3-D
It’s your favorite foreign movie
Kim Jong-il got the idea for Joy Brigades from Bill Clinton.
‘Touch of Seoul’ will be appearing at the Airport Ramada this entire week.
Godzilla would make this picture complete.
They don’t have Waffle Houses in North Korea?
They do great work at that Sears Photo Studio.
“Does anybody else really, really have to go to the bathroom? DAMN THAT MURAL!”
Anyone know who the dour looking suits (and lady) are?
1. There is something very Wes Anderson-esque about this photo.
2. I am suprised there aren’t more of these posted already:
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/96536541-Vacation-Memories
Country Club Jihadi: Is it possible to imagine a picture Godzilla wouldn’t make complete?
C’mon. This is Slick Willy we’re talking about. Twenty minutes later, everyone was drunk, Kim was wearing his pants on his head and Bill was giving that girl the stink finger.
At least the photographer kept the buffet out of the picture.
is that waterworld poster behind them real looking or what?
Speaking of Sea World, a friend of mine from high school had a job there doing lights for the killer whale stuff, and told me some FASCINATING stories about a small but dedicated group of, uh, marine enthusiasts who visit the park and jerk off right in front of Shamu and the other orcas. Apparently all the SeaWorlds get these guys–probably Ron Paul voters–and have photos of them and their disguises in the ticket booths in an attempt to keep them out, but they are so dedicated that they inevitably get in. Awesome.
New team photo — “Radies and gentremen, youah Chicago Burrs!” (No MSG was used in the preparation of this ethnic slur.)
DangerousLiberal: that tie has a nice cherenkov radiation glow to it
DangerousLiberal: Kim, on the other hand, was fashionable as always. I guess that is one of the many advantages of wearing a taupe jumpsuit everyday.
Obviously taken before the negotiations. And with old-fashioned film. Otherwise L’il Kim would’ve made them do it over and SMILE DIS TIME OR NO POKING THE RITTLE GIRLS PWESIDENT CWINTON. WEMEMBER WHY YOU ARE HEAH.
Seriously, do think WJC smiled even once the whole time he was there?
Bill could’ve made some serious cash smugglin’ Big Macs.
They all have that “please don’t arrest us and lock us up for the rest of our lives” look on their faces. Except Kim. Kim just looks constipated.
Say! Who’s that hot chick in tha chair next to Bill C? What? Never mind.
Scarab: Isn’t that Steve Carell? And there’s some tall Matt Lauer/Elliott Stabler hybrid four dudes over.
WIld Turkey: That is one fine-lookin’ jumpsuit. Probably Ralph Lauren.
10 fried dumplings later, the journalists were heard crying and thanking Bill.
Kim - that’s kind of a girl’s name, isn’t it?
I want to see that whole painting - it looks fantastic.
But the carpet - are the chairs of Clinton and Lil’Kim…are they placed over identical images of…Pedo-Bear?
Erm, the obligatory “woman” in that picture looks as though she’s missing a few key ladybits. Also, the dude to her right has a stance suggesting that he got fucked by one too many Thai boys that Kim flew in just for the occasion.
Dave J.: Sperm Whales?
With that hilarious title of the post, there’s nothing really left to say…..except that Animatronic technology still needs some work. It’s like they all have sticks rammed up their shimshams.
I like the way Bill and Kim’s chairs were placed just-so on the floor flowers, which probably camouflage trap doors.
Bill is doing a fantastic job of looking like he is one of the imprisoned journalists.
That was taken at the Wisconsin Dells, after the Duck ride.
But before a swig at Nig’s.
“Maybe we should’ve taken the photo before we had the rice porridge, the turnips and rice and the millet surprise.”
The dudes in the back have all the whimsical nonchalance of over-caffeinated Secret Service agents. Which they probably are.
Where’s Bill O’Reilly and his crazy body language bitch?
-Clinton’s body language obviously says: “My taint is here, let me spread my asscheeks, so you may suckle upon it.”
-Lil’ Kim’s body language says: “Has anyone got a plastic booster seat?”
-The woman in the back: “I have been beaten so many times, I must be wrong about things I haven’t even thought about yet. Please beat me again and then withhold my monthly ration of fish and rice, I do not deserve to eat.”
Boy, Lil Kim has really let herself go.
Boy, Lil’ Kim has really let herself go.
Which one of these prospective suitors will Kimmy Lee Kim choose in the latest season of The Bachelorette: North Korea? As in all previous seasons, she will choose The Gloriously Hung One causing great loss of face to American Dog. But don’t miss an episode or you will be sent to labor camp.
Damn Koreans are suppressing my avatar!
Thanks to the Eds. here at Wonkett all portrait photographers now utilize the ever effective “rectal spindle” to maximize stillness and sober expression.
Kim Jong-Il looks very bummed. Whatever the negotiating process was like, it seems there was some cock-slapping involved.
Gee you’d think that the chick from those Charlie’s Angels movies could have busted her own damn self outta one of those Korean gulags. Probably just second surplus from the old Soviet empire stuff. Brittle as glass!
hobospacejunkie: He so ronrey..
So sweet! Uncle Billy is adopting a little boy in a little brown jumpsuit. Make sure you sign the right papers. Madonna’s had a helluva time getting her little ones out of town.
Jeeps, Kimbo is a tiny dude. Eat your vegetables!
I like that mural though, get the suits out of the way so I can see it. K thx
RoscoePColtraine:
Puppy? The famine in North Korea has made that a long lost dream.. The government there is passing out recipes for tree bark.
Pic brings Addam’s Family theme to mind.
I think places like North Korea (and, until recently, Albania) exist to answer the question, how would I do this room if I were completely unhinged from any known norms of human behavior?
has someone already added Kim’s photo to “men who look like old lesbians dot com”?
Terry: True, dat. But remember we’re talking about the ruling class.
Dave J.: Huh, brings a new meaning to the term “dolphin flogging.” Also makes me worry about my bf’s screensaver a little bit.
So, I am the only one who really likes that painting, eh? And I’m prone to seasickness, so maybe today is opposites day!
I’m surprised Clinton didn’t do what the USS Pueblo crew did way back when
and give the finger in the posed photos.
fatherfigure: HA! What a pleasantly obscure film reference.
Caption: Finalists in the world’s most dangerous Duck-Duck-Goose competition.
Funny that Lil’ Kim didn’t have the same number of staffers in the photo as did Bubba. Or is it important that lots of Americans came to visit Lil Kim?
Heywood Floyd:
Mysterious and “gooky”…
Dear God, it is the shark tank from Team America.
“Here, Mr. Clinton, sit next to our very much alive leader, Kim Jong Il. It’s North Korean custom to keep very, very still and motionless. What’s that? Oh, we just like to keep it below zero in here so the humidity doesn’t ruin that awesome mural. No sir, that’s not formaldehyde, that’s, um, kimchi. Yeah, kimchi.”
What’s that tallest guy looking at? Camera’s over here, man! Must be nervous–if he stumbles and falls on Kim he’ll be scooped to death by security agents with sharpened spoons in a matter of seconds…
Servo: Oh, I get it, because it RHYMES. That is so clever.
They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky,
The Kim Il Family.
Kim’s house a mausoleum
Where Clinton come to see him
He really are a scream
The Kim Il Family.
(Neat)
(Sweet)
(Petite)
So get a photo scowl on
A broomstick up your crawl on
We’re gonna pay a call on
The Kim Il Family.
Imagine the conversation in the plane coming back, with Bill and those 2 womyn reporters: “Either of you gals gotta an Altoid?” “I bet y’all haven’t had a shower lately, shall we save water and take one together”? and suchlike…
fatherfigure: thank you.
Snidely: Why didn’t I see that one coming. Well done!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I’m so rhone-ree! Release the panthers!
This photo is obviously fake. Everyone knows Bill Clinton is suffering from pancreatic cancer and has not been seen in public in months.
kicked off the axis of evil, NK is now part of the Axis of Pathetic, someplace between Oklahoma and Denny’s
smitallica:
Glad you verified. My sources told me that he had actually died already, upside down, on top of Michael Jackson.
That photo is crying out for Blingees, but our artists out there are probably exhausted from faking birth certificates.
Scarab: Which Ramada? The one with the yummy bibimbap?
geminisunmars: I usually hate song lyrics, but that’s a keeper.
StoneAge: Weekend at Impregnable Domicile of Glorious Leader?
Rescue of the Gore “Employees”…
Note they sent Bush Family Clinton NOT Peacemaker Carter.
Servo: Genius!
It’s to take a despot seriously who decorates his State Visitors’ Lounge with “Ariel” bathroom throw rugs and “Hang Ten” wallpaper murals.
What you guys don’t realize is Kim provides realistic acappella sound effects for this mural whenever he is in the room.
As an artist, I personally see the symbolism in said mural as an homage to the Sir Stanley Kubrick’s film, “Dr. Strangelove…” The mural obviously glorifies General Ripper’s totally sane conclusion that the commies have sullied “children’s ice cream, Mandrake” and that his own precious bodily fluids no longer have the “purity of essence.” (’Cause that’s how yer hard core commie works.)
Besides, I like the colors in that painting, strangely enough.
Ummmm, next time you have one of these Wonkette hot tub naked drunk busisness trips, how do I find out so that I can crash it? I’ll bring booze. For free. And I have a really nice tan right now.
x111e7thst: The few white people in N. Korea?
Zhu
Tommmcatt: Kim has a harem of about 500; perhaps he introduced them to Bill?
Zhu Bajie
RoscoePColtraine: Koreans think dog is aphrodisiac.
Zhu Bajie
Atheist Nun: -The woman in the back: “I have been beaten so many times, I must be wrong about things I haven’t even thought about yet. Please beat me again and then withhold my monthly ration of fish and rice, I do not deserve to eat.”
ROTFLMAO!