Awkward ....
You know how some business trips end up with everybody naked in the hot tub singing Don’t Stop Believin’, and others end with everybody awkwardly standing around making small talk while furtively glancing at their watches? Bill Clinton’s North Korea summer vacation trip likely falls into the latter category, which is a historical first for Bill Clinton. [The Awl via … North Korea Propaganda Office, maybe?]

Donate with CCDonate with CC


  1. You have to wonder what sort of photoshop magic Kim will order to be done to this masterpiece before it gets framed and on his wall?? (besides make himself look a hell of a lot taller)

    Speculate away, wonketteers!

  2. I’m sorry but shouldn’t have Bill just snapped his neck and screwed that korean girl right there and then? can someone do a dramatized, reenactment of this?

  3. “Hey, it was nice to see ya all. Too bad it was under such unfortunate circumstances. We really need to get together more often. Give a call next time you’re in town.”

  4. Come on, you KNOW that right after this picture Clinton and Kim totally excused themselves for a secret coke-fuled orgy with the North Korean womens’ gymnastic team. Bill’s got that twinkle in his eye in that pic, the rascal. And Kim looks great for someone who just had his embalming fluid changed.

  5. Nice tie, Bill. It was nice in 1993, and is as nice now.

    In related news: Shiny blue ties are now illegal in N. Korea. As is food, also.

  6. C’mon. This is Slick Willy we’re talking about. Twenty minutes later, everyone was drunk, Kim was wearing his pants on his head and Bill was giving that girl the stink finger.

  7. Speaking of Sea World, a friend of mine from high school had a job there doing lights for the killer whale stuff, and told me some FASCINATING stories about a small but dedicated group of, uh, marine enthusiasts who visit the park and jerk off right in front of Shamu and the other orcas. Apparently all the SeaWorlds get these guys–probably Ron Paul voters–and have photos of them and their disguises in the ticket booths in an attempt to keep them out, but they are so dedicated that they inevitably get in. Awesome.

  8. New team photo — “Radies and gentremen, youah Chicago Burrs!” (No MSG was used in the preparation of this ethnic slur.)

  9. [re=378947]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Kim, on the other hand, was fashionable as always. I guess that is one of the many advantages of wearing a taupe jumpsuit everyday.

  10. Obviously taken before the negotiations. And with old-fashioned film. Otherwise L’il Kim would’ve made them do it over and SMILE DIS TIME OR NO POKING THE RITTLE GIRLS PWESIDENT CWINTON. WEMEMBER WHY YOU ARE HEAH.

    Seriously, do think WJC smiled even once the whole time he was there?

  11. They all have that “please don’t arrest us and lock us up for the rest of our lives” look on their faces. Except Kim. Kim just looks constipated.

  12. [re=378941]Scarab[/re]: Isn’t that Steve Carell? And there’s some tall Matt Lauer/Elliott Stabler hybrid four dudes over.

  13. I want to see that whole painting – it looks fantastic.

    But the carpet – are the chairs of Clinton and Lil’Kim…are they placed over identical images of…Pedo-Bear?

  14. Erm, the obligatory “woman” in that picture looks as though she’s missing a few key ladybits. Also, the dude to her right has a stance suggesting that he got fucked by one too many Thai boys that Kim flew in just for the occasion.

  15. With that hilarious title of the post, there’s nothing really left to say…..except that Animatronic technology still needs some work. It’s like they all have sticks rammed up their shimshams.

  16. Where’s Bill O’Reilly and his crazy body language bitch?
    -Clinton’s body language obviously says: “My taint is here, let me spread my asscheeks, so you may suckle upon it.”
    -Lil’ Kim’s body language says: “Has anyone got a plastic booster seat?”
    -The woman in the back: “I have been beaten so many times, I must be wrong about things I haven’t even thought about yet. Please beat me again and then withhold my monthly ration of fish and rice, I do not deserve to eat.”

  17. Which one of these prospective suitors will Kimmy Lee Kim choose in the latest season of The Bachelorette: North Korea? As in all previous seasons, she will choose The Gloriously Hung One causing great loss of face to American Dog. But don’t miss an episode or you will be sent to labor camp.

  18. Thanks to the Eds. here at Wonkett all portrait photographers now utilize the ever effective “rectal spindle” to maximize stillness and sober expression.

  19. Gee you’d think that the chick from those Charlie’s Angels movies could have busted her own damn self outta one of those Korean gulags. Probably just second surplus from the old Soviet empire stuff. Brittle as glass!

  20. So sweet! Uncle Billy is adopting a little boy in a little brown jumpsuit. Make sure you sign the right papers. Madonna’s had a helluva time getting her little ones out of town.

  21. [re=378948]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

    Puppy? The famine in North Korea has made that a long lost dream.. The government there is passing out recipes for tree bark.

  22. I think places like North Korea (and, until recently, Albania) exist to answer the question, how would I do this room if I were completely unhinged from any known norms of human behavior?

  23. [re=378973]Dave J.[/re]: Huh, brings a new meaning to the term “dolphin flogging.” Also makes me worry about my bf’s screensaver a little bit.

    So, I am the only one who really likes that painting, eh? And I’m prone to seasickness, so maybe today is opposites day!

  24. Funny that Lil’ Kim didn’t have the same number of staffers in the photo as did Bubba. Or is it important that lots of Americans came to visit Lil Kim?

  25. “Here, Mr. Clinton, sit next to our very much alive leader, Kim Jong Il. It’s North Korean custom to keep very, very still and motionless. What’s that? Oh, we just like to keep it below zero in here so the humidity doesn’t ruin that awesome mural. No sir, that’s not formaldehyde, that’s, um, kimchi. Yeah, kimchi.”

  26. What’s that tallest guy looking at? Camera’s over here, man! Must be nervous–if he stumbles and falls on Kim he’ll be scooped to death by security agents with sharpened spoons in a matter of seconds…

  27. They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
    Mysterious and spooky,
    They’re all together ooky,
    The Kim Il Family.

    Kim’s house a mausoleum
    Where Clinton come to see him
    He really are a scream
    The Kim Il Family.


    So get a photo scowl on
    A broomstick up your crawl on
    We’re gonna pay a call on
    The Kim Il Family.

  28. Imagine the conversation in the plane coming back, with Bill and those 2 womyn reporters: “Either of you gals gotta an Altoid?” “I bet y’all haven’t had a shower lately, shall we save water and take one together”? and suchlike…

  29. This photo is obviously fake. Everyone knows Bill Clinton is suffering from pancreatic cancer and has not been seen in public in months.

  30. [re=379238]smitallica[/re]:
    Glad you verified. My sources told me that he had actually died already, upside down, on top of Michael Jackson.

  31. That photo is crying out for Blingees, but our artists out there are probably exhausted from faking birth certificates.

    [re=378951]Scarab[/re]: Which Ramada? The one with the yummy bibimbap?

    [re=379130]geminisunmars[/re]: I usually hate song lyrics, but that’s a keeper.

  32. It’s to take a despot seriously who decorates his State Visitors’ Lounge with “Ariel” bathroom throw rugs and “Hang Ten” wallpaper murals.

  33. As an artist, I personally see the symbolism in said mural as an homage to the Sir Stanley Kubrick’s film, “Dr. Strangelove…” The mural obviously glorifies General Ripper’s totally sane conclusion that the commies have sullied “children’s ice cream, Mandrake” and that his own precious bodily fluids no longer have the “purity of essence.” (‘Cause that’s how yer hard core commie works.)

    Besides, I like the colors in that painting, strangely enough.

  34. Ummmm, next time you have one of these Wonkette hot tub naked drunk busisness trips, how do I find out so that I can crash it? I’ll bring booze. For free. And I have a really nice tan right now.

  35. [re=379023]Atheist Nun[/re]: -The woman in the back: “I have been beaten so many times, I must be wrong about things I haven’t even thought about yet. Please beat me again and then withhold my monthly ration of fish and rice, I do not deserve to eat.”


Comments are closed.

Previous articleDNC, RNC Engage In Very Important Telephone Hijink War
Next articleProfessor Newt Pontificates, And Obama Feeds Helen Thomas Cyanide Cupcakes