FREE WILLY  2:05 pm August 5, 2009

Bill Clinton and Lil’ Kim In World’s Worst Sea World Vacation Photo

by Ken Layne

Awkward ....
You know how some business trips end up with everybody naked in the hot tub singing Don’t Stop Believin’, and others end with everybody awkwardly standing around making small talk while furtively glancing at their watches? Bill Clinton’s North Korea summer vacation trip likely falls into the latter category, which is a historical first for Bill Clinton. [The Awl via ... North Korea Propaganda Office, maybe?]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 98 comments }

TGY August 5, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Someone failed to spike the punch, obvs.

Scarab August 5, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Nobody told Kim it was picture day.

Monsieur Grumpe August 5, 2009 at 2:11 pm

They’re all a little queasy from that painting and green carpet. Blech!

ManchuCandidate August 5, 2009 at 2:11 pm

These folks have the same sad/grim expressions my family did after traveling two weeks in the car together.

RoscoePColtraine August 5, 2009 at 2:11 pm

The expression on everyone’s face is the telltale sign your at Seaworld.

Monsieur Grumpe August 5, 2009 at 2:12 pm

I think Kim has the same decorator as Aquaman.

orange August 5, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Too much green.

azw88 August 5, 2009 at 2:12 pm

You have to wonder what sort of photoshop magic Kim will order to be done to this masterpiece before it gets framed and on his wall?? (besides make himself look a hell of a lot taller)

Speculate away, wonketteers!

fatherfigure August 5, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Spanning time… “Just look like you like me”

HolyCow August 5, 2009 at 2:13 pm

It’s like a bad mural at the Holiday Inn. Ugh.

Extemporanus August 5, 2009 at 2:13 pm

There’s no better Shamu-zer than Bill Clinton.

american mutt August 5, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I’m sorry but shouldn’t have Bill just snapped his neck and screwed that korean girl right there and then? can someone do a dramatized, reenactment of this?

Scarab August 5, 2009 at 2:13 pm

That guy on the far left must have some huge balls.

JoeSmithHomo August 5, 2009 at 2:15 pm

“Hey, it was nice to see ya all. Too bad it was under such unfortunate circumstances. We really need to get together more often. Give a call next time you’re in town.”

Tommmcatt August 5, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Come on, you KNOW that right after this picture Clinton and Kim totally excused themselves for a secret coke-fuled orgy with the North Korean womens’ gymnastic team. Bill’s got that twinkle in his eye in that pic, the rascal. And Kim looks great for someone who just had his embalming fluid changed.

Extemporanus August 5, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=378935]azw88[/re]: He appears to have already Photoshopped out his marionette strings.

DangerousLiberal August 5, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Nice tie, Bill. It was nice in 1993, and is as nice now.

In related news: Shiny blue ties are now illegal in N. Korea. As is food, also.

RoscoePColtraine August 5, 2009 at 2:16 pm

The Koreans had just asked the Americans how they enjoyed their lunch of young tender puppy dog.

shadowMark August 5, 2009 at 2:18 pm

The two journalists, Euna Lee; a Korean-American, and Laura Ling; a Chinese-American, arrived at Burbank airport in Los Angeles on a chartered flight alongside Clinton on Wednesday morning, and were reunited with their families.

Euna Lee and Laura Ling
It will come back to you
Euna Lee and Laura Ling
It will come back to you
Then the shutter falls
You see it all in 3-D
It’s your favorite foreign movie

Brendan M. August 5, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Kim Jong-il got the idea for Joy Brigades from Bill Clinton.

Scarab August 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm

‘Touch of Seoul’ will be appearing at the Airport Ramada this entire week.

Country Club Jihadi August 5, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Godzilla would make this picture complete.

CrunchyKnee August 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm

They don’t have Waffle Houses in North Korea?

bfstevie August 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm

They do great work at that Sears Photo Studio.

norbizness August 5, 2009 at 2:22 pm

“Does anybody else really, really have to go to the bathroom? DAMN THAT MURAL!”

x111e7thst August 5, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Anyone know who the dour looking suits (and lady) are?

ignatius_riley August 5, 2009 at 2:24 pm

1. There is something very Wes Anderson-esque about this photo.

2. I am suprised there aren’t more of these posted already:

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/96536541-Vacation-Memories

shadowMark August 5, 2009 at 2:25 pm

[re=378953]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: Is it possible to imagine a picture Godzilla wouldn’t make complete?

Chad San Marino August 5, 2009 at 2:25 pm

C’mon. This is Slick Willy we’re talking about. Twenty minutes later, everyone was drunk, Kim was wearing his pants on his head and Bill was giving that girl the stink finger.

Servo August 5, 2009 at 2:26 pm

At least the photographer kept the buffet out of the picture.

Alex Trebeks Girl August 5, 2009 at 2:28 pm

is that waterworld poster behind them real looking or what?

Dave J. August 5, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Speaking of Sea World, a friend of mine from high school had a job there doing lights for the killer whale stuff, and told me some FASCINATING stories about a small but dedicated group of, uh, marine enthusiasts who visit the park and jerk off right in front of Shamu and the other orcas. Apparently all the SeaWorlds get these guys–probably Ron Paul voters–and have photos of them and their disguises in the ticket booths in an attempt to keep them out, but they are so dedicated that they inevitably get in. Awesome.

lawrenceofthedesert August 5, 2009 at 2:30 pm

New team photo — “Radies and gentremen, youah Chicago Burrs!” (No MSG was used in the preparation of this ethnic slur.)

slappypaddy August 5, 2009 at 2:31 pm

[re=378947]DangerousLiberal[/re]: that tie has a nice cherenkov radiation glow to it

WIld Turkey August 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm

[re=378947]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Kim, on the other hand, was fashionable as always. I guess that is one of the many advantages of wearing a taupe jumpsuit everyday.

hobospacejunkie August 5, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Obviously taken before the negotiations. And with old-fashioned film. Otherwise L’il Kim would’ve made them do it over and SMILE DIS TIME OR NO POKING THE RITTLE GIRLS PWESIDENT CWINTON. WEMEMBER WHY YOU ARE HEAH.

Seriously, do think WJC smiled even once the whole time he was there?

Servo August 5, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Bill could’ve made some serious cash smugglin’ Big Macs.

Min August 5, 2009 at 2:34 pm

They all have that “please don’t arrest us and lock us up for the rest of our lives” look on their faces. Except Kim. Kim just looks constipated.

snideinplainsight August 5, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Say! Who’s that hot chick in tha chair next to Bill C? What? Never mind.

lee hussein oswald August 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=378941]Scarab[/re]: Isn’t that Steve Carell? And there’s some tall Matt Lauer/Elliott Stabler hybrid four dudes over.

hobospacejunkie August 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=378984]WIld Turkey[/re]: That is one fine-lookin’ jumpsuit. Probably Ralph Lauren.

Alex Trebeks Girl August 5, 2009 at 2:37 pm

10 fried dumplings later, the journalists were heard crying and thanking Bill.

snideinplainsight August 5, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Kim – that’s kind of a girl’s name, isn’t it?

One Yield Regular August 5, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I want to see that whole painting – it looks fantastic.

But the carpet – are the chairs of Clinton and Lil’Kim…are they placed over identical images of…Pedo-Bear?

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 5, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Erm, the obligatory “woman” in that picture looks as though she’s missing a few key ladybits. Also, the dude to her right has a stance suggesting that he got fucked by one too many Thai boys that Kim flew in just for the occasion.

Snidely August 5, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=378973]Dave J.[/re]: Sperm Whales?

El Pinche August 5, 2009 at 2:40 pm

With that hilarious title of the post, there’s nothing really left to say…..except that Animatronic technology still needs some work. It’s like they all have sticks rammed up their shimshams.

geminisunmars August 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm

I like the way Bill and Kim’s chairs were placed just-so on the floor flowers, which probably camouflage trap doors.

Come here a minute August 5, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Bill is doing a fantastic job of looking like he is one of the imprisoned journalists.

rocktonsammy August 5, 2009 at 2:44 pm

That was taken at the Wisconsin Dells, after the Duck ride.

But before a swig at Nig’s.

SayItWithWookies August 5, 2009 at 2:46 pm

“Maybe we should’ve taken the photo before we had the rice porridge, the turnips and rice and the millet surprise.”

Joshua Norton August 5, 2009 at 2:47 pm

The dudes in the back have all the whimsical nonchalance of over-caffeinated Secret Service agents. Which they probably are.

Atheist Nun August 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Where’s Bill O’Reilly and his crazy body language bitch?
-Clinton’s body language obviously says: “My taint is here, let me spread my asscheeks, so you may suckle upon it.”
-Lil’ Kim’s body language says: “Has anyone got a plastic booster seat?”
-The woman in the back: “I have been beaten so many times, I must be wrong about things I haven’t even thought about yet. Please beat me again and then withhold my monthly ration of fish and rice, I do not deserve to eat.”

hiphophitler August 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Boy, Lil Kim has really let herself go.

hiphophitler August 5, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Boy, Lil’ Kim has really let herself go.

lionboy August 5, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Which one of these prospective suitors will Kimmy Lee Kim choose in the latest season of The Bachelorette: North Korea? As in all previous seasons, she will choose The Gloriously Hung One causing great loss of face to American Dog. But don’t miss an episode or you will be sent to labor camp.

hiphophitler August 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Damn Koreans are suppressing my avatar!

nappyduggs August 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Thanks to the Eds. here at Wonkett all portrait photographers now utilize the ever effective “rectal spindle” to maximize stillness and sober expression.

Mr Blifil August 5, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Kim Jong-Il looks very bummed. Whatever the negotiating process was like, it seems there was some cock-slapping involved.

Gorillionaire August 5, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Gee you’d think that the chick from those Charlie’s Angels movies could have busted her own damn self outta one of those Korean gulags. Probably just second surplus from the old Soviet empire stuff. Brittle as glass!

freakishlystrong August 5, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=378986]hobospacejunkie[/re]: He so ronrey..

DoctorCulturae August 5, 2009 at 3:03 pm

So sweet! Uncle Billy is adopting a little boy in a little brown jumpsuit. Make sure you sign the right papers. Madonna’s had a helluva time getting her little ones out of town.

Sussemilch August 5, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Jeeps, Kimbo is a tiny dude. Eat your vegetables!

I like that mural though, get the suits out of the way so I can see it. K thx

Terry August 5, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=378948]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

Puppy? The famine in North Korea has made that a long lost dream.. The government there is passing out recipes for tree bark.

Heywood Floyd August 5, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Pic brings Addam’s Family theme to mind.

WadISay August 5, 2009 at 3:10 pm

I think places like North Korea (and, until recently, Albania) exist to answer the question, how would I do this room if I were completely unhinged from any known norms of human behavior?

Anita Cocktail August 5, 2009 at 3:11 pm

has someone already added Kim’s photo to “men who look like old lesbians dot com”?

RoscoePColtraine August 5, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=379065]Terry[/re]: True, dat. But remember we’re talking about the ruling class.

AnnieGetYourFun August 5, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=378973]Dave J.[/re]: Huh, brings a new meaning to the term “dolphin flogging.” Also makes me worry about my bf’s screensaver a little bit.

So, I am the only one who really likes that painting, eh? And I’m prone to seasickness, so maybe today is opposites day!

Hedley Lamar August 5, 2009 at 3:17 pm

I’m surprised Clinton didn’t do what the USS Pueblo crew did way back when
and give the finger in the posed photos.

An American in Toronto August 5, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=378936]fatherfigure[/re]: HA! What a pleasantly obscure film reference.

le petit mort August 5, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Caption: Finalists in the world’s most dangerous Duck-Duck-Goose competition.

Terry August 5, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Funny that Lil’ Kim didn’t have the same number of staffers in the photo as did Bubba. Or is it important that lots of Americans came to visit Lil Kim?

Servo August 5, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[re=379068]Heywood Floyd[/re]:
Mysterious and “gooky”…

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 5, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Dear God, it is the shark tank from Team America.

StoneAge August 5, 2009 at 3:26 pm

“Here, Mr. Clinton, sit next to our very much alive leader, Kim Jong Il. It’s North Korean custom to keep very, very still and motionless. What’s that? Oh, we just like to keep it below zero in here so the humidity doesn’t ruin that awesome mural. No sir, that’s not formaldehyde, that’s, um, kimchi. Yeah, kimchi.”

Todd Mecklem August 5, 2009 at 3:26 pm

What’s that tallest guy looking at? Camera’s over here, man! Must be nervous–if he stumbles and falls on Kim he’ll be scooped to death by security agents with sharpened spoons in a matter of seconds…

StoneAge August 5, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=379122]Servo[/re]: Oh, I get it, because it RHYMES. That is so clever.

geminisunmars August 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky,
The Kim Il Family.

Kim’s house a mausoleum
Where Clinton come to see him
He really are a scream
The Kim Il Family.

(Neat)
(Sweet)
(Petite)

So get a photo scowl on
A broomstick up your crawl on
We’re gonna pay a call on
The Kim Il Family.

Anita Cocktail August 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Imagine the conversation in the plane coming back, with Bill and those 2 womyn reporters: “Either of you gals gotta an Altoid?” “I bet y’all haven’t had a shower lately, shall we save water and take one together”? and suchlike…

magic titty August 5, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=378936]fatherfigure[/re]: thank you.

magic titty August 5, 2009 at 3:36 pm

[re=379004]Snidely[/re]: Why didn’t I see that one coming. Well done!

McDuff August 5, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=379125]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I’m so rhone-ree! Release the panthers!

smitallica August 5, 2009 at 4:30 pm

This photo is obviously fake. Everyone knows Bill Clinton is suffering from pancreatic cancer and has not been seen in public in months.

Georgia Burning August 5, 2009 at 4:30 pm

kicked off the axis of evil, NK is now part of the Axis of Pathetic, someplace between Oklahoma and Denny’s

nappyduggs August 5, 2009 at 4:41 pm

[re=379238]smitallica[/re]:
Glad you verified. My sources told me that he had actually died already, upside down, on top of Michael Jackson.

Jukesgrrl August 5, 2009 at 4:52 pm

That photo is crying out for Blingees, but our artists out there are probably exhausted from faking birth certificates.

[re=378951]Scarab[/re]: Which Ramada? The one with the yummy bibimbap?

[re=379130]geminisunmars[/re]: I usually hate song lyrics, but that’s a keeper.

imissopus August 5, 2009 at 5:12 pm

[re=379127]StoneAge[/re]: Weekend at Impregnable Domicile of Glorious Leader?

nader paul kucinich gravel August 5, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Rescue of the Gore “Employees”…
Note they sent Bush Family Clinton NOT Peacemaker Carter.

AhojChris August 5, 2009 at 8:35 pm

[re=378966]Servo[/re]: Genius!

JooJoo Bee August 6, 2009 at 12:09 am

It’s to take a despot seriously who decorates his State Visitors’ Lounge with “Ariel” bathroom throw rugs and “Hang Ten” wallpaper murals.

ribnar August 6, 2009 at 12:18 am

What you guys don’t realize is Kim provides realistic acappella sound effects for this mural whenever he is in the room.

font9a August 6, 2009 at 1:53 am

As an artist, I personally see the symbolism in said mural as an homage to the Sir Stanley Kubrick’s film, “Dr. Strangelove…” The mural obviously glorifies General Ripper’s totally sane conclusion that the commies have sullied “children’s ice cream, Mandrake” and that his own precious bodily fluids no longer have the “purity of essence.” (‘Cause that’s how yer hard core commie works.)

Besides, I like the colors in that painting, strangely enough.

MrsNateSilver August 6, 2009 at 2:10 am

Ummmm, next time you have one of these Wonkette hot tub naked drunk busisness trips, how do I find out so that I can crash it? I’ll bring booze. For free. And I have a really nice tan right now.

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 2:39 am

[re=378958]x111e7thst[/re]: The few white people in N. Korea?

Zhu

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 2:56 am

[re=378943]Tommmcatt[/re]: Kim has a harem of about 500; perhaps he introduced them to Bill?

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie August 6, 2009 at 2:58 am

[re=378948]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Koreans think dog is aphrodisiac.

Zhu Bajie

LoweredPeninsula August 6, 2009 at 5:39 am

[re=379023]Atheist Nun[/re]: -The woman in the back: “I have been beaten so many times, I must be wrong about things I haven’t even thought about yet. Please beat me again and then withhold my monthly ration of fish and rice, I do not deserve to eat.”

ROTFLMAO!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: