Now The Popular Car Program Is Our Katrina

  schizophrenic egocentric paranoic primadonnas

There may be some economic problems with cash-for-clunkers, like how it only subsidizes those who’ve purchased lousy, obnoxious automobiles in the past, but here is some strange NPR lady on the television dabbling in monstrosities: “Cash for Clunkers is like a mini-Katrina here. I mean it’s not good to start a program and not be able to execute it.” Hmm. We think she is confusing “a mini-Katrina” with “the Holocaust.” Try that out: “Cash for Clunkers is like the Holocaust here.” That’s better. [ThinkProgress]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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90 comments

  1. Noonan

    You know what Katrina led to? FEMA Camps.

    Now people are going to be imprisoned in 20 year-old Suburbans, Broncos and Cherokees. By the New World Order. For Freedom.

  2. snoidoid

    I can’t think of anyone stranded on a roof or drowning in a hospital due to the CARS program.

  3. bureaucrap

    perhaps Ms. Liasson merely meant that because of the program’s popularity, “‘Cash for clunkers’ is a [political] mini-Katrina [for repugnicans].”

  4. Judas Peckerwood

    “Cash for Clunkers is like the Holocaust here.”

    Thank you. I thought I was the only one who saw it.

  5. Alex Trebeks Girl

    [re=378701]Noonan[/re]: what she didn’t mention was the chips. this is all about implanting microchips and giving us swine flu on command so that fiat currency and the illuminati can supercede 1776. Cash for Clunkers is just another word for Rothschild family putting chips in your new General Motors engine.

  6. bumfug

    Now we wait for the scene where Obama flies over car lots in a helicopter, too oblivious to the suffering to land and offer even a pathetically inadequate apology…

  7. momus

    Maybe everyone would have been happier had it been called the “Ford Explorer Trade-in Program.”

  8. nappyduggs

    “When the Levees Broke” is now “When the Chevy’s Broke”

    Don’t get pissy with me about that pun either! Blame that dumb NPR troll.

  9. smitallica

    She seems to be confusing “Cash for Clunkers” with “Trailers For Houses For Like Two Fucking Years.”

  10. totoro

    Her analysis is wrong. If it were clear that the program was going to kill and disposess thousands of black people there would be a broader base of support on her side.

  11. mephistopheles jefferson

    They really need to stop holding these town hall meetings at the Moose Lodge. Other than the ‘Buy one Canadian Whiskey, get one free’ policy. Which is really like a mini-Katrina, if you know what I’m talking about…haha.

    You don’t, do you?

  12. widget09

    [re=378708]Alex Trebeks Girl[/re]: I think the chips go onto the right hand, unless you had that blown off in Iraq or Afghanistan, in that case, you get the forhead model. Nevah Forget!!! 666999111!!!! Palin/Taint 2012.

  13. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    Something popular and effective that causes the poors to spend their monies is like a Katrina?

    In that case, the opening weekend of G-Force was like a 100 million 9-11s

  14. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=378715]nappyduggs[/re]: That reminds me of a post-K riff I heard on Don McLean’s “American Pie,” to wit: “Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was gone.”

  15. Terry

    Well, maybe she has a point. Let’s compare them:

    Cash for Clunkers: Takes low mileage cars off the road, replaces them with higher mileage cars, provides business for car dealerships, car shippers, car factories, factories that make components for cars, and so on.

    Katrina: Around 90% of a major city went under water, thousands of people killed, hundreds of thousands homeless, around 125 sq miles of land lost, entire towns wiped off the map, city of N.O. went to anarchy for a few days, then President and his chief advisor show to be playing politics with relief efforts, city remains today a fraction of the size it once was in terms of population, and so on.

    Yep, they are just about the same.

  16. Gopherit

    [re=378700]Noonan[/re]: “I hear that FEMA train a-comin’, just comin’ round the bend….”

    Ah, Mara. Thanks for showing everyone even an NPR commentator can be bought by Fox. And I will now always look at Katrina not as a mind-bogglingly awful clusterfuck, but as a wildly successful program to bring Lake Ponchatrain to downtown NOLA.

  17. ManchuCandidate

    Let’s compare:

    Katrina:
    1) US Gubbiment led by W ignores warnings from learned folk
    2) FEMA’s response is FEEBLE led by Mike “Shit” Brownie
    3) New Orleans drowns
    4) W gets castigated by everyone except various Contard “comm-taters” who apparently don’t care about black people

    Clunkers for Cash:
    1) US Gubbiment led by Hopey gives money to poors and stupids for their shitty cars
    2) Barry gets castigated by same said various Contard comm-taters.

    Yeah, I don’t see any difference.

  18. hockeymom

    Oh Jesus God. These fucking people on this fucking network.
    EVERYTHING IS BAD!!

    Rescuing women in North Korea? Bad!
    Cash for Clunkers? Bad!
    Health Care Reform? Bad!
    Actual Birth Certificate? Bad!
    Talking about race? Bad!
    Taking your wife to a play? Bad!
    Taking your children overseas? Bad!
    Planting a garden? Bad!
    Giving Helen Thomas a cupcake? Bad!

    It’s enough to drive you crazy.

  19. AnnieGetYourFun

    NPR has been oddly against the program from the start. They keep interviewing random people (Freepers, who drive SUVs, probably) who think it’s a really bad idea. There’s nothing more annoying than using man-on-the-street comments to illustrate a broader point about public opinion. There’s one correspondent for BBC World Service who is always stopping by Scottish pubs to gauge the level of support for the nationalist movement toward independence. “Some people, like drunken Scottsman Haggis McKiltdick here, think that the Scottish Parliament ought to declare independence from the UK immediately, don’t you, Haggis?”

    [sound of Haggis vomiting]

    “Well, there you have it. Our scientific poll that proves that Scotland is going to revolt against the British, probably tomorrow morning, after they sleep off their hangovers.”

  20. nappyduggs

    [re=378725]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:

    The saga continues. Sorry about that stupid apostrophe, btw. I gets teh typoos when I’m still drunkie upon waking.

  21. Alex Trebeks Girl

    Ron Paul/Rand Paul 2012 don’t tread on me 1776. No FEMA. No Swine Flu Vaccine. Just gold nugget currency and organic beans and semi automatics. yea!

    wait, can ron and rand run together? and make orly taints attorney general?

  22. irisheyesagain

    [re=378731]hockeymom[/re]: I could not agree more. It makes me angry. And when I get angry I tend to bruise the gin from overshaking. Just another way Fox News ruins my day.

  23. JadedDIssonance

    [re=378733]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: That is a good point. This morning they were talking to used-auto-parts retailers. They showed that forcing the older engines to be permanently disabled means less monies for teh poor mechanics et al. It makes me feel like the whole program is a gimmick.

  24. Alex Trebeks Girl

    I wonder if these Fox peeps get their cocktail on in the green room b4 coming on air. U know…. practicing these phat lines before they drop them on the masses? Bill Kristol and “shrewd+Palin” comes to mind.

  25. DoctorCulturae

    Ah how sweet. The freepers are using metaphors. Poor ones, but look at it as the first step in comprehending irony. Remember, Colbert is undecipherable to them. Of course what they really mean is they WANT this to be a Katrina, which isn’t really about metaphor, but is about getting even for a perceived slight. I love children.

  26. StoneAge

    The problem with those town hall meetings is, people who are not frothing, unhinged loonies actually have jobs and other places to go.

    Hopefully the legislators realize this and do not mistake these insane verbal vomitings for the opinions of the average American.

  27. El Pinche

    Surely she ment the 80′s phenomenon Katrina and the Waves which I agree was pretty fuckin bad. She couldn’t have ment dead-babies-floating-in-the-flood-waters Katrina , No way!

  28. Toy Needle

    Cash-For-Clunkers is to Katrina as:

    1) Helen Thomas Birthday Cupcake is to “Mission Acomplished”

    2) Joe Biden is to Dick Cheney

    3) Obama Kids’ J Crew apparel is to “No Child Left Behind”

  29. slappypaddy

    [re=378732]JadedDIssonance[/re]: i always liked her name. that is now but the tattered remnant of my misplaced affection.

  30. JadedDIssonance

    [re=378745]DoctorCulturae[/re]: I believe it was a simile, but it still failed.

    Who wakes up in the morning, drinks their coffee and suddenly realizes “Hey! I’m going to use that Mini-Katrina simile on Fox this afternoon!”

  31. gurukalehuru

    Good news for the Dems. Half of these people (I’m looking at the guy with the white hair, screaming) will be dead by 2012.

  32. problemwithcaring

    [re=378726]Terry[/re]: [re=378729]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Simple, libtards. She used “mini-.” Not gang rape. Like, mini-gang rape.

  33. slappypaddy

    [re=378749]El Pinche[/re]: everything that rises must converge. it turns out that “walking on sunshine” was a metaphor. picture clueless powerful folk trodding across the lifeless bodies of the, well, downtrodden. or something like that.

    it’s humpday. i think i’ll go hump.

  34. ThomasAllen

    I noticed that the new Harry Potter movie was a total failure when I tried to get tickets and they were sold out. And Billy Joel obviously needs to find a new line of work, since I was unable to get tickets for his Philadelphia show. I certainly wasn’t made homeless or dead by either of these incidents, but yeah… exactly like Katrina.

  35. Terry

    [re=378733]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

    Did you see the movie Trainspotting? Thank God that the BBC didn’t film any footage in the men’s toilet.

  36. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=378726]Terry[/re]: Heh. FOX News is magic. It makes even the NPR brainiac commentators say incredibly stupid shit.

  37. I-man

    Am I the only one that thinks a woman wearing pearl or faux-pearl chokers like that like it up the tunnel?

  38. OReillysVibrator

    They can’t even run a cash-for-clunkers program! Every government on Earth has been running a program that gives people money for worthless cars has turned a profit for the last 100 years and somehow we managed to screw it up!

    The 2012 Republican nominee needs to pitch the Republican Cash-For-Clunkers program: turn in your old SUV, and when you buy a new car, the government will send $4500 to rich people.

  39. Anonymous Office Zombie

    The opinions of any NPR correspondent who becomes a regular FOX News contributor and does not immediately burst into flames are somewhat suspect.

  40. OReillysVibrator

    [re=378787]I-man[/re]: Do you think this woman has or has ever had any interest in sex of any sort? Look at her, no way.

    Also, let’s have a mini-moment of mini-silence for the mini-thousands of people who died in this mini-Katrina cash-for-clunkers program. I guess she means Obama’s incompetence and appointing of unqualified and indecisive officials caused thousands of midgets to drown or something.

  41. american mutt

    Subsidized clunkers is like watching poor black people drown in a flood. I think she just blew my mind.

  42. imissopus

    Nice to see NPR’s standards for its reporters have gotten as low as every other media outlet.

  43. Accordion-o-rama

    The comparison is appropriate from the Fox perspective. What FOX found objectionable about Katrina was not the deaths or government inaction, but the (eventual) diversion of government funds to help the poor and/or melanin-enhanced communities. Ditto Cash4Clunkers.

  44. Blender

    If they would’ve had Carl Kasell on and he stammered that kind of insanity, no one would question it at all.

    EVERYTHING sounds good when Carl Kasell says it.

    p.s. Fuck NPR in the nose.

  45. George Will'

    Does this mean no cash for truck nutz follow up program?!?! How will I decorate my fancy new car?

  46. Hooray For Anything

    Does this mean we need to come up with a whole new Godwin’s Law for the usage of Katrina?

  47. TGY

    That’s the news from Planet Liasson, where the cars are clunkers, Katrina is mini, and the stupidity is above average.

  48. June Cleaver 2.0

    You can tell they know no one believes those fake “citizen protests” because they always say “They ARE real.” But taking a popular program and turning it into one of Bush’s major failures is why I marvel at the Republicans sometime. They are so out in the open shameless.

  49. momus

    This is what Mara actually meant. “I was waiting for the weekend to shop for a new car, but now all the money and cars is (sic) gone. Its a disaster.”

  50. hillarys_left_nut

    [re=378787]I-man[/re]: this question made me watch that lame-ass clip a second time, you fucker. Because in general, good point.

    But, no. Mara clearly doesn’t use that pooper, even for pooping.

  51. Paul Tardy

    Actually cash for clunkers was a scam. Also a bad idea in terms of vote getting as the people that got cash for clunkers know it was a scam, and bought ‘foreign’ cars to replace their clunkers(domestic). That will reduce the parts US manufacturers will be able to sell.

    It is also worth noting that the people upset most about health care changes are mostly retired government workers.

  52. hobospacejunkie

    [re=378836]Blender[/re]: For NPR News in Waahington, I’m Frank Stachio.

    He was always my favorite. Fuck Mara Liasson. What kind of a name is Mara?

  53. hobospacejunkie

    [re=378982]Paul Tardy[/re]: No. Most people upset about health care changes are stooges paid by the insurance companies. And the reason they can’t just add anyone who asks to the Medicare single-payer rolls is that the whole thing is political theater designed to look like change without there being any actual, you know, change.

  54. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I saw this last night, and I was struck by the similarities. How, when it quickly became apparent that things were not working, the Bush administration immediately started to fix the problems, and went to congress and the Republicans passed legislation that sent more money to help with the situation. Yes, they are exactly alike.

    And I remember how, just the other day, I saw Shepard Smith, on an overpass, nearly in tears, contradicting the talking heads at Fox when they said it really wasn’t that bad. Shepard brought it home that these were real people who might not be able to trade in their 1987 Lincoln on a new Honda. Who can blame Ms. Liasson for making the obvious comparison.

    So, what the hell does Fox put in its air that makes normally somewhat sane people like Ms. Liasson say such stupid things? Or does this just happen if you sit next to Charles Krauthammer? Or is it simply that Fox pays their so-called liberals, when they allow them on at all, so well that you are willing to sell your soul and say mindless dribble that makes Fred Barnes or Steven Hayes sound semi-intelligent?

  55. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=378768]Terry[/re]: I can’t think of Scotland without thinking of Trainspotting. That movie totally ruined an otherwise merry image of one half of my ancestral homelands. They sound so cute when they talk! Oh, but they are all heroin addicts who live with the ceiing-crawling corpses of babies. Bummer.

  56. Terry

    [re=379117]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

    They also apparently can’t eat any food or food-like item unless it’s deep fried. Haggis excepted, of course.

  57. DoctorCulturae

    JadedDissonance: You are correct. My error. Metaphor is the NEXT step needing several more years of evolution.

  58. natoslug

    Once again, I’m late to the party. Gotta quit letting work get in the way of Wonkette.

    Cash for Clunkers is like a blowjob here. I mean it’s not good to start sucking and not be able to swallow it.

    /fixed

  59. Sexual Harrassment Panda

    Uh. Am I missing something here? The last time I checked, the only problem with the cash for clunkers program was that the government didn’t allocate enough money to it because they underestimated how many retards are driving Ford Exploders?

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