Wonkette
Not for the first time, we are sort of at a loss to explain how certain bewildered Wonkette visitors find themselves in the unfortunate position of reading the trash that passes for writing on this site. If you are a million-year-old subscriber to motherfucking Juno, shouldn’t you have some sort of pre-installed Internet Pornography Filter that prevents you from even accessing gutter filth like Wonkette? Shouldn’t it redirect you to the Cat Fancy discussion boards, where you can help improve the lives of real people and their Scottish Folds?
So the mystery remains as to how this human even found Wonkette, but whatever, thanks for your input! (And your prayers.)
Subject: Obama/Empathy Article
From: (redacted)@juno.comI read your article. [This one, presumably? --Ed] You must be mentally ill. How can anyone live with so much anger and hate? It is also racist. You remind me of Timothy McVeigh, the domestic terrorist.
You need psychiatric counselling. Obama is the President. Get over it!
I will pray for you.
____________________________________________________________
Get your dream car or truck. Click here.
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/BLSrjpTLa8vgJgpdZHXwRqHkjDpZls8MsIzvH2G3EJ4izLlR4w7QPHzaPzq/
Sarcasm is a lost art, much like the wisdom of the ancients which basically consisted of a really nifty recipe for barley beer favored with dates.
Wait- is he only praying for the Editors, or are the rest of us Godless racist assholes in the mix? “cause if he’s only praying for our Wonkette overlords I might be miffed.
more like future.Obama.care.euthenasia.guinea.pig.pellet@juno.com
What makes you so sure you haven’t been out-snarked by this so called human?
HENGGGHGH??!!argh..(cough)
Does “counselling” have two Ls? Never mind. We need to know what happened to the street signs out here on the damned internets. Hanging in some teenagers bedroom no doubt.
I like the “get your dream car or truck” at the bottom. It will give you something to do with those Truck Nutz you currently have decorating the file cabinet.
You must be mentally ill…I will pray for you. Juno.com: the network of choice for Librul Christian Scientists.
irisheyesagain: I hope not too, because praying only for editors is racist against readers.
I want a Scottish Fold now. TEH CUTE!
I know I was prayed for because I done got my first bowel movement in days.
9-11 was an inside blow job poetry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWhavDJlVyw
Juno still exists?
I don’t think Sara or Ken smell like ampho (the diesel fuel/fertilizer mix used by Tim to kill “oppressors” which were mainly kids at a daycare.) Jim, I’m not so sure about.
How can anyone live with so much anger and hate?
My dears, I can’t live without it. And thank you for the tip on Scottish Folds. They are delicious.
Tim McVeigh would have voted McKinney.
HA! I know an Oldz who uses the Juno. I’d estimate that 95% of Juno traffic is forwarding nobama muslin socialist conspiracy emails. This person is out of the ordinary
The first part of the missive had me totally convinced that the writer was Jeff Sessions. But Sessions would never in a quadrillion years admit that the uppity nigra in charge could ever be preznit, legitimately or otherwise.
This is pure gold. lol
That photoshop job you did on Hopey’s hair in that article WAS very cruel and mentally deranged. Or maybe one of your gentle readers is just pulling your leg.
Please pray for me to lose ten pounds and heal my male-pattern baldness. Lottery also. Thnx
How can anyone live with so much anger and hate?
My dears, I can’t live without it.
Indeed. It is the only thing that allows me to get out of the bed in the morning. I roll over, stretch and ask myself, “Who shall I want to fucking kill today?”. Then, clutching my coffee cup with bitter fingers, log onto the webz and select my victim.
Timothy McVeigh was quite the prolific snark blogger in his post collegiate days. I can see the parallels now..
ManchuCandidate: Ammonium nitrate-fuel oil = ANFO
Fuck this namby-pamby “I’ll pray for you” shit. A wingtard would threaten to beat you up or remind you of their massive gun collection and sharpshooting skills.
0 points
William Ernest Henley writes:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
We wince and cry aloud all the time, how the hell can we look like McVeigh? And, to be honest, I’m pretty bowed and afraid all the time, too.
Psychiatric counsellling is overrated. We need weapons. Lots and lots of high caliber weapons. And perhaps a little cesium. Yess. Yess.
pants of doom: Looks like it haz a sad. All the time.
Is that link the only way to get my dream car or truck?
shadowMark: I had to memorize that in 7th grade- we were all about the happy back in the early 60’s
Cicada: I don’t know - I almost find the idea of someone praying for me a bit more offensive. But I also like guns.
My dream car or truck? How can I lose?!
Scottish folds = no ears
Barack Obama = big ears
COINCIDENCE??
x111e7thst:
My bad.
donner_froh: Not The KINROSS MATEARIAL GIRL OF RUMFOLD. She looks like she will kill you in your sleep. For fun!
AnnieGetYourFun: Seems more kinky to me, but I’m a fallen catholic.
And fuck you, Juno-lover. Tim McVeigh was misunderstood, like Glenn Beck.
Question is, SKS, did you reply back, “KILL!!!! KILL!!!! KILL!!!! KILL!!!!!” ?
Who’s this guy “redacted”?
Juno is for people who can’t figure out how to use AOL.
Truck. Dream car. Truck, Dream car. I just can’t decide.
Could we ask Mr. or Mrs. Juno user which I should get?
Scottish Folds=panniculus
Juno=dial-up
Praying for teh Wonkett=holy water on teh demonz
Oh my gosh! Yellow Pages is online now!? What will they think of next?
Thanks, Juno.com!
nappyduggs: Scottish Folds=panniculus=FUPA
Juno- I really liked that movie.
That empathy article was back in May. Do you think Redacted has been dwelling on this since then? Such a bitter needs their own blog.
Pray in one hand and shit in the other….see what happens douche-spigot!
pants of doom:
Still want one? Hmmmmmmmm?
“I ask blessings for you from our Father in Heaven, Juno person.
“Forgive me for intruding but I found your e-mail on a Christian website and I know you can help me. Blessed be God. I am Gloria Adugunleya of Ghana, windowed now 15 years from my beloved husband, Geoffrey. God has him sitting on his right hand as he was a very righteous man. My Geoffrey was a high-ranking official in the Sudan, but we had to flee once the horrible violence befell my beloved homeland. The muslin menace still haunts the Sudan, and we pray daily for His deliverance.
“My husband died with a fortune of $9,500,000 in US dollars which is still in the national bank in the Sudan. The monies were intended to build a Christian hospital and orphan’s school, and I hope to make my beloved Geoffrey’s dream come true, blessed be the One True Father. I pray, with God’s help, you can assist me in getting my rightful monies returned. I will reward your Christian help with a gift of $3,000,000 (3 million) US dollars…”
Scottish Folds = DAMN!!! That’s some fine pussy!
This person can only read headline sized type, and is therefore an old.
This person is on Juno, and is therefore an old.
This person doesn’t understand satire, and is therefore an old.
Why does SKS hate the olds?
Why do the olds hate SKS?
I hate being prayed for
Alex Trebeks Girl: Thanks for that.
Although we don’t have exactly the same conspiracy theory, we both agree that the official story is probably a big lie (because I don’t believe the Bush administration ever told the truth about anything, ever).
miquonranger03: I want the Hummer. Its a dream, that turned into a car/truck.
Is “I’ll pray for you” wingnut for “eat a bag of dicks asshole?” It seems to be the only way the phrase is used as far as I know.
“How can anyone live with so much anger and hate?”
I hate therefore I am.
Cooper, you remind me today of a small Mexican chi-hua-hua.
TGY:
Once and for all:
Sarcasm is a tone or the manner of expression of a particular piece of humor, a biting or intentionally hurtful tone. It has nothing to do with using words in an incongruous or discordant way so as to highlight or restate a universally understood truth. That would be irony. The article that Sarah refers to is an example of irony.
And yes, I am a constipated pedant. Which, after reading this post, goes without saying.
Tommmcatt: You are Hitler.
Tommmcatt: I bow to your pedantry and claim illness and general malaise for my error.
Anything for peace.
problemwithcaring:
I think we’ve established that, yes. Yes I am.
Monsieur Grumpe: Juno dialup is a bit slow. Just wait for September when redacted manages to load some of the Sotmayor posts.
those scottish folds are the saddest looking cats. i’d be sad too if i had ears like that. all the other cats be making fun of me, i’d never want to go outside. will mighty barry’s magick health care reform package include coverage for cosmetic surgery for those poor maimed scottish folds? if it doesn’t, i say send it back to committee until they (the committee persons) get it right.
PROPER EARS FOR SCOTTISH FOLDS! IT’S A BASIC RIGHT!
Okay, so what is this ‘Juno’ of which everyone speaks?
RoscoePColtraine: Juno is the ancient greek god of dipshit.
Is there actually a Cat Fancy discussion board? My life has been meaningless up until this point.
Himalayans, Ragdolls, Russian Blues, & Maine Coon Cats!
Man, that’s an awesome e-mail address. The only thing better would be a compuserve.com one. Or motherfucking delphi.com.
BTW, bitchez, I had both of those at one time. Pre-www Internet, represent!
shadowMark: KKPsi?