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PRETTY SURE THAT'S RACIST

Barack Obama Is … A Rhino?

O RLY?Some silly scamps labor under the grave misconception that our president is a bird, or a giraffe, or a unicorn. But no, Obama is a wee baby rhinoceros, born in a Ugandan zoo to a Kenyan father and an American mother. This is why the Birthers have been unable to find any Kenyan documents about him! Because they’re all in Uganda, you see. [Telegraph]


9:18 AM on Wed August 5 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1020 Views

  1. norbizness says at 9:22 am, August 5th, 2009

    I’ve named my pinky-toe Barack Obama and wish to have a story devoted to that.

  2. DoctorCulturae says at 9:25 am, August 5th, 2009

    I’ve always thought of the President as an owl. An owl with ears that is. Owl-so.

  3. memzilla says at 9:28 am, August 5th, 2009

    Orly Taitz. What kind of parent names their child after a French airport, anyway?

  4. hobospacejunkie says at 9:31 am, August 5th, 2009

    It is racist, no question about it. But its target is Jews, with their stereotypically protruding proboscis. What that has to do with anything, I do not know.

  5. BigDupa says at 9:32 am, August 5th, 2009

    Futuretrend- jungle fever post bridge to tomorrow– Kenyan warriors trolling Topeka, Witchita, and Mount Sunflower looking for a place to spread their seed.

  6. Noodle Salad says at 9:48 am, August 5th, 2009

    Rhinos are halal?

  7. Leopolt says at 9:48 am, August 5th, 2009

    memzilla: {Probably where she was conceived?

  8. germansteel says at 9:51 am, August 5th, 2009

    Somehow Sarah is going to turn this into an attack on Trig - I just haven’t figured out how, yet.

  9. WadISay says at 9:51 am, August 5th, 2009

    If I had a newborn RINO, I would name it Olympia Snow.

  10. Alex Trebeks Girl says at 9:59 am, August 5th, 2009

    It’s gotta be related to the anti-christ and the beast and socialism. Is this creature praised by lenin in his diaries? Or saul alinsky’s? Hennngnnnnnnn?

  11. Bill E Pilgrim says at 10:00 am, August 5th, 2009

    memzilla: Orly Taitz. What kind of parent names their child after a French airport, anyway?

    That was my first thought when I read her name for the first time. Though not the part about who would name someone after Orly, I love that airport. The robot train, the small scale, the lovely terminals with light flooding in, the short trip to Paris on, did I mention, the robot train, to the train.

    This cheap Charo impersonator will never taint my feelings for ORY, c’est promis.

  12. V572625694 says at 10:00 am, August 5th, 2009

    WadISay: No kidding. With that name she sounds like an ice-goddess, but she’s actually…a Greek.

  13. Dreamer says at 10:01 am, August 5th, 2009

    “Obama’s mother, born in captivity in the US.” Do the Birthers know this?

  14. GayInMaine says at 10:03 am, August 5th, 2009

    Bill E Pilgrim: I’m pretty sure that “Orly Taitz” is just a piece of performance art. Like Bruno. Or the Blue Collar Tour.

  15. Bill E Pilgrim says at 10:05 am, August 5th, 2009

    memzilla:

    Actually I got curious where the name Orly comes from, I know the airport is named after the town it’s in but wondered what the human name came from. So first search found a baby name origin site with this definition:

    http://www.zelo.com/firstnames/findresults.asp?name=ORLY

    Gender: Female
    Origin: Latin
    Meaning: The Light Is Mine

    And there you have it. Add “Spot” before the word “light” and I think it’s positively Nostradumian.

  16. lee hussein oswald says at 10:06 am, August 5th, 2009

    WadISay: Yeah, that’s a shame about Uganda. Here in US America, tens of thousands of baby RINOs are born every day!

    Awesome Sculpey, Sara.

  17. WadISay says at 10:18 am, August 5th, 2009

    lee hussein oswald: V572625694: If you have to name something Obama, how about the first velociraptor?

  18. Gorillionaire says at 10:20 am, August 5th, 2009

    That pic is adorable. Now I can’t wait to get home and hit the bong and watch Yo Gabba.

  19. finallyhappy says at 10:23 am, August 5th, 2009

    lee hussein oswald: I think it is felted wool. I am an old so I do crafts.

    I think I am going to the Hill rally tomorrow for Sonia. I hope there are birthers or teabaggers. I will offer them slimfast and the name of a good dentist.

  20. lee hussein oswald says at 10:30 am, August 5th, 2009

    finallyhappy: Now that you mention it, I can just barely make out the fibers. It must be this crappy Socialist LCD monitor that I’m forced to use at work. Or my decaying eyesight.

  21. Cape Clod says at 10:30 am, August 5th, 2009

    I guess the name Idi got ruled out pretty quickly, wadda yah wantta bet?

  22. memzilla: Most likely she was conceived in an airport waiting room. Or bathroom. Or garbage bin. Or wherever.

  23. That baby rhino is fucking cute. Thanks for chiseling away at my armor of cynicism and bitterness, Wonkette. I’ll blame you if I break down in tears during lunch.

  24. Bill E Pilgrim: Orli/Lior/whatevers is a bizarre name for a Russian Jew of that age to have. Russian Jews sort of stopped giving kids very Jewy names in the 20th century. This is all very puzzling.

  25. finallyhappy says at 11:29 am, August 5th, 2009

    AxmxZ: What the hell is a very Jewy name? The ZOG will be sending a visitor to you very very soon

    Shalom
    Brucha Raizel

  26. Gopherit says at 11:37 am, August 5th, 2009

    Hard headed and horny? They should have named it after a republican.

  27. Gopherit says at 11:39 am, August 5th, 2009

    Cicada: OMG. It’s gray, wrinkly, kinda homely, and it probably snorts a lot.

    Yeah, i guess it’s cute.

  28. finallyhappy: A very Jewy name is a name that instantly identifies the bearer as a non-Russian without your ever having to reach for your passport. Duh.

  29. Cape Clod says at 11:55 am, August 5th, 2009
  31. Gopherit says at 12:22 pm, August 5th, 2009

    Cape Clod: aw, he doesn’t fit in his skin yet.

    Cicada: I hope that kid isn’t surprised when that rhino tramples him in a couple of thousand pounds.

  32. nader paul kucinich gravel says at 7:35 pm, August 5th, 2009

    AIPAC Neocon Extortion, Blackmail, & Bribery = PUPPET

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