Wonkette
Yes, it is Barack Obama’s 48th birthday today — or as he might put it, the ninth anniversary of his 39th birthday, HEY-O! Oh, aging. The point is: SMALL NATIONS, WHAT SHALST THY SACRIFICE? All must give Obama something. Antigua has already set the bar quite high by giving our president his own mountain, the erstwhile Boggy Peak: “Antigua’s highest mountain officially became ‘Mount Obama’ on Tuesday as the small Caribbean nation celebrated the American president on his birthday and saluted him as a symbol of black achievement.” A mere one mountain? INVADE. (Meawhile, your Wonkette will honor Obama by revealing his TRUE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, later. We so have it!) [AP]
It used to be named for his mom-pants.
Oh “Boggy” — I thought that it said “Baggy”
Antigua? Sounds old.
Excellent birthday present!
But this is no volcano. How will virgins be sacrificed to the muslin-antichrist NoBama?
Ain’t no mountain high enough.
smartypants: But should be re-gifted to WJ Clinton.
“I have been to the mountaintop!”
Mount Obama?
Really?
Oh, that’s nothing. Dick Cheney has had a mountain named after him for quite some time.
But what he really wanted was a pony.
Well, at least we figured out where Hurley, John Locke, and the rest of those longsuffering choads from Lost are stranded.
Mohammed…Mountain…Mere coincidence?
I demand to see this mountain’s long form birth certificate. I suspect it was actually birthed by geologic forces on Cuba, but was taken to Antigua when it was a small hill.
First there was a mountain, then there was no mountain, then there was.
The only thing we should be giving him are CHAREGES FOR TREEZON.
If I were a pre-school teacher I would have the kiddies make Barack Obama Birth Certificates for Arts and Crafts. Then I’d mail them all to Orly Taitz.
norbizness: Does this mean Obama is the smoke monster? No wonder he can’t quit.
McDuff: And the ORINGINAL!!!!!111 Not the so-called “certicificate of geological history” or some nonsense.
Dammit!
*crumples up homemade card*
Hallmark refused to wrap it, however.
If this doesn’t prove once and for all that Obama was born in the African country of Antigua, I don’t know what will.
Ha! Try to return that gift Hopey.
Boggy Peak? Anything would have been an improvement.
Great. Now all Obama needs is a species of Trap-door spider, an Hungarian bridge, and a space toilet and he’ll be on a par with Colbert.
Rodney Badger: Her head would explode with all those obviously legitimate BCs coming in at once.
Nice gift, Antigua. But I suspect you didn’t tell the President about The LEGEND of Boggy Peak, now, did you?
Monsieur Grumpe: Nah, that’s a total regift. I’m thinking that one has Tony Blair written all over it.
In related news, the Soggy Bottom ATV Ranch in the small nation of Texas has offically been renamed “Track NObama ATM Ranch” in honor of the illegal Kenyan muslin usurper president’s 48th un-birthday.
Today’s festivities will include birther-on-bloodhound salad dressing wrestling, bobbing for dicks, and loaded gun juggling.
thefrontpage: I’d like to but I think he’s a dom.
I see him in one-quarter profile, lying down. Seems the Antiguans were kind enough to regrade the mountain to make it resemble him and even placed a tower just about where his cig goes.
Cicada: Ha!
This revelation just might kill every cracker and dial-up internet birfer troll in Mississippi. Stand up Afghanistan, Zimbabwe, and Venezuela, and give Barry a mountain as well. It is for the good of the world.
Thanks.
And all Barry really wanted was arugula.
How do you put Antigua in a salad?
So when the president visits Antigua everyone will Mount Obama. Or maybe just Michelle.
Maybe he can move the mount of shit he inherited from “W” to Antigua?
I thought it was so damned cute that Barry gave a peck Helen Thomas’ cheek on her birthday:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/04/obama-sings-happy-birthda_0_n_251088.html
But cuteness aside….THERE GOES BHO, SUCKING UP TO THE LIEBURAL MEDIA.
teebob2000: My mom hates that song.
I would like to *climb* that mountain.
Maxine of Arc: You can’t appreciate it unless you’re on acid.
So I’m told.
lee hussein oswald: You forgot about Colbert’s favorite gift, the eaglet he named after himself. Maybe Bruce Springsteen could give Little Steven to Obama. THEN they’d be even AND Colbert would have to tie a do-rag on a bald eagle. Fun times!
I hope they’re sacrificing birthers at the top. It’s the only way to properly honor a god.
I bet Rev. Muthee and the rest of those 7 Mountains fucks are shaking in their boots right about now.
One Yield Regular: Are you referring to Sunn Classic Pictures’ THE LEGEND OF BOGGY PEAK? I loved the scene where the creature scared Obama off the crapper.
Well that would be a nice gift. More than anything, Obama just needs a better place to vacation than Martha’s Vineyard right now. http://thestimulist.com/resolved-the-obamas-shouldnt-go-to-marthas-vineyard/ Oh yeah, and maybe health care reform would be a good gift too.
We still have a Mt. Stalin in Canada.
what thats got to do with this i have no idea.
health care also.
But the canary islands sent him Stella Dora Swiss Fudge Cookies!
These Antigua guys are COPY CATS. I am the Interim Prime Minister For Life of the Sovereign Island nation of Swimfloatistan*, (Located near the north east shore of Lake Crescent) where just LAST WEEK we rededicated our lighthouse the Barack Hussein Obama Memorial Beacon of Hope and Change.
We got that idea because our lighthouse is basically a solar-powered garden light that looks like a tiki-torch, y’know, like you see in Hawaii. Or Africa. Also because it pisses off my Republican mom to be naming stuff after Obama.
*SWIMFLOATISTAN FUN FACTS:
Type of Government: Constitutional Monarchy
Current Monarch: not sure, we can’t find the constitution right now
Size (in square kilometers): kinda dinky
National Sport: snorkeling
National Aquatic Sport: Diving
National Tree: moss
National Anthem: Sunshine Pussycat (don’t ask)
Population: as many as 8 at a time (but very tippy!)
Major Import: full beer bottles
Major Export: empty beer bottles
Somewhere, Harriet Christian is screaming “Goddman the state of Hawaii!!! Boggy Creek is now an inadequate black mountain!!!!!”
Lascauxcaveman:
Wow, you kids need jobs.
How will they top that when he turns 50 in a couple of years? I mean, if today is in fact his REAL birthday and not just his “Hawaiian” birthday.
dr.giraud: I wanted to come up with a variation on “The Ballad of Travis Crabtree” - that film’s number one Top 40 smash hit - but I have a job.
Maryland and Pennsylvania also decided to pay tribute to President Obama by naming a Mountain after him:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negro_Mountain
Not quite as nice as Antigua’s present; I hope they saved the receipt.
They should put a “Christ The Redeemer” style statue of Barry O up on the top of that mountain. http://tinyurl.com/o9vzm8
Tommmcatt: Hahahahahah. Funny you should say that, since I’ve spent about 20 minutes on Wonkette in the last month, rather than my usual 2-3 hours/day.
This is because I’M BUSTING MY ASS AT WORK ALL DAY. Ugh, tourist season in the hotel biz. (At night I still go out to the lake and dine on Chinook salmon and Dungeness crab, washed down with a decent NZ Sauvingnon Blanc or somesuch.)
This is awesome. Not made up.
A town in Colombia (Turbaco, south of Cartagena) has a public party to celebrate Obama’s birfday. It’s a coastal city with heavy historical African presence. To these folks, Obama’s one of their heroes.
The video is Spanish only. It’s so cute I could die.
The video includes a donkey dressed up as Uncle Sam.
Okay, there is an English language report of the Turbaco, Colombia Obama birfday celebrations:
El Pinche: Watched Helen, watching Hillary for 2 hours this Spring, at my daughter’s NYU graduation at Yankee Stadium and not once did Helen put her hands together or emote, other than to squeeze her thighs together to stifle an after-coffee squirt at the tail end, so to speak. Soooooo professional.
Lascauxcaveman: Are you comping Wonketeers? Travel agents are standing by…
Can we move the Gitmo detainees there now??
EnBuenOra: Turbaco loves Obama, and Obama can’t quit the Turbaco. O.K., that was lame, I just needed to check in. Loved the Burro.
gurukalehuru: I thought that was cute in a one-dimensional overly simplistic special bus kinda way.
Luau time !!!