Wonkette
Hey everybody, some birthers are just wandering around various Senate and House office buildings, bothering the shit out of staffers and interns, and then twatting about it, on the Twitter. David Weigel, the Stephen Crane + Ernie Pyle × Martha Gellhorn of the Tea Party-Birthers Wars, has the whole collection of retardation, go look at it and laugh, for America. [Washington Independent]
YEAH MAN use the recycle bin Lea!
Is it possible to have something akin to the “You MUST BE THIS HIGH to RIDE THIS RIDE” sign for politics?
“Read Ayn Rand or Marx. Can’t Spell. Can’t think. No Vote.”
What does that say?
It says god botherers & false patriots are less welcome than the Pig AIDS because unlike you unemployed losers these staffers & critters are trying to solve the countless problems you fucktards caused the past 8 years.
“The senate investigitival committee got grumpy with us and refused the papers.” Who’s the chairman of that committee? Sen Grumpy (R, Al)?
When are Lou Dobbs and all these birthers going to produce the proof that they are not child molesters? They haven’t even denied it!
In a country where 70+% of the public wants a public health plan option, with ‘democrats’ in charge of the legislative & exec branches and we STILL may not get real health care reform? Why yes, #phmm, I DO believe congressional staff threw your petition in the garbage. At least Lea has the spleen to do so in front of your face.
Is texting in tongues as Jesusy good as speaking in tongues? Praise Him!
Alderon is a peaceful planet my ass.
Weigel seems to enjoy following the crazies.
Don’t they have some sort of loitering program in DC. A couple of baton smack downs and a trip to the pokey seems to be in order here.
Lea is slipping. I would have thrown the words “We the people” in the garbage with a skidmark on it. #bwlofdix
I really have to take issue with Lea’s manner of dealing with “we the people.” When a mob of rabid, insane racists invades the office, the proper response is to a) call Security and b) fend them off with pepper spray and a baseball bat until Security arrives.
Where the hell are the internment camps Glenn Beck keeps promising us?? Huh??? Isn’t it time to put all these fucks into internment camps so we can carry on with our lives??
Lea - can I buy you a drink ? Can I buy you several? You are my new hero and a shining example to us all.
Notice they’re not trying that shit with Webb’s staffers…they’re all packin’ heat
“I’m sorry, I sent the state of Hawaii a photograph of your petition and they refused to say it was real.” (Chuck).
I wish they would serve me.
BARACK HUSS31N N00BAMA HAZ THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS AYATOLLAH ALI AL-CYSTAWNY IS THIS A COOINDICENCE I THINK NOT BOMB IRAN BILL KLINTON’S NEW GIRLFRIEND’S NAMED KIM BOMB KOREA also.
Walmart must be missing some greeters.
Send them all Liz Becton’s way. That’ll learn ‘em.
Barry has the same birthday as Helen Thomas…however paper wasn’t invented when she was born, so we can’t prove she’s an ‘merican either
I neglected to mention in my previous remarks that the initial staffer response should always be to cordially and calmly agree to accept the petition, as long as each petitioner will kindly provide a certified copy of his or her birth certificate.
“Senate inestigatival committee” With creative spelling like that, one could go far.
Anyone else sick of birthers and teabaggers attempting to appropriate and overuse the phrase “we the people” to refer only to those within their movements?
For me it’s like, top three in the reasons to stop paying attention to this country.
How do they travel? Short bus, clown car, or one of them tricked-out Okie trucks like in “The Grapes of Wrath?”
I CAN HAZ MOR BIRD SERTIFIKITZ, PLZ?
ManchuCandidate: I don’t think the birthers have a problem of not being high enough for anything.
I don’t laugh for America, I cry. Rereading Hofstader and interesting to note that the rise of Evangelical Christianity was concentrated in the South because the South was already openly hostile to education of any sort even before the 1800’s. A long proud history of hating intelligence.
I hope the Russel building hallways are large enough.
“Can you imangine tossing the words of we the people directly int
o the trash.”
I’m imagining it right now, and it is so beautiful.
A side note: If you live in dire peril of writing “mangina” when you mean “imagine”, you need to take a course in Remedial Brain Usage.
Start reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. That sends the politicians sunning.
“Can you imagine tossing the words of we the people directly int o the trash.”
I dream of wiping my butt with the words of we the people and flushing them directly down the toilet.
Give this Twattering a decade or two and soon enough we’ll be abbreviating every other word in very short sentences and all caps just like in Latin:
BRTHS RTARDS N <3 TRKNTZ. B. OBAMA SOCL KNYN. ALS WNKT FTW!
and spawn neologisms left and right:
“investigival”
“investigival” is like forensic gum disease detectives, right?
I can only assume this comment is one of ours:
YOU GO PATREOTS!! IN GODS AND JESUS NAME AND OUR TROOPS WE WILL WIN ARE CUONTRY BACK!! TRUE PATREOTS LIKE RUSSIAN ORLY TAINTZ AND QUITTER AMERICAN SARA PALLIN WILL HELP US WINN OUR COUNTREE BACK FROM THE AFRICAN, ZULU, KENYAN WARRIOR-USURPER MESSIAH DEVIL BALACK NOBOMBA.
Godot:
to refer only to those within their movements
I think you’re on to something there, all hinging on how you define that last word.
Crapola:
I can’t claim it, but I wish I did write it. I’m going to print that up on a t-shirt.
PrairiePossum: I’m slightly disappointed they had to go ruin the moment and out themselves by correctly spelling “usurper.”
Crapola: Sounds like shorts is up to mischief.
Crapola: someone PLEASE take credit for that…
otherwise I’m going to start reconsidering that whole “ethnic cleansing” thing.
Crapola: Shorts.
Forget war, disease and famine. Twitter will collapse the Empire.
WEE THE SHEEPLE!!!
nappyduggs:
Three wheel bicycles.
I see a Nicholas Cage/South Park movie out of this noble quest.
Phnm!
Don Juanquete: There is a Wonketteer who posts under “El Pinche” here. The username on that post is also “El Pinche”.
I am circulating a petition right now to get “El Pinche” to prove that he/she is a true Wonketteer and not a birther freak. Show us your long form, El Pinche! What do you have to hide? Hmmmmmmm?!?!?
uhhh, I think it says “F–k you”
Crapola: It was writ by our own El Pinche.
Crapola:Cicada: hahaha, it actually made it through! Comeon, what other asshole would ever call himself El Pinche? Just me!!
Godot: I’m almost as sick of them using “we the people” following a preposition, as in “tossing the words of we the people directly int o [sic] the trash.” If your entire movement is based on parsing the language of a document you consider sacrosanct, mightn’t you at a minimum express yourself in something besides grammar so cringe-inducing that it slaps that document in the face?
This reminds me of some crazy Muslims I used to know who wouldn’t throw out anything that had Qur’anic veres written on it, including a “Qur’an Quote Daily” calendar, which meant that they had a lot of shit lying around their house. These people are virtually the same: imbuing the paper with the printed words with the actual power behind those written words. And, like my crazy Muslim friends who believed that the Prophet Muhammad had outlawed laughter, these people probably have no fucking idea what the words mean, or even SAY, beyond the first two lines of print.
Bill E Pilgrim: “We the poople”?
“We have returned to our room. Hot… Refreshing with H20…. And regrouping. Lotssss to do…”
http://twitter.com/CrystalChalice
Images of tents being shed and the ‘regrouping’ of sweaty bodies. The horror.
And, prithee, what is this new recreational drug “H-Twenty”? Want.
One Yield Regular: “We the purple? What the hell was that?”
I understand that Lou Dobbs was actually born in Havana!
We have the original birth certificate!
We’re calling ourselves Dobbsers.
DOBBSERS!
Did Bill Clinton go to North Korea just to make sure Barry’s NK birth certificate was still locked away? You heard it here first!
S.Luggo:
“Please send donations to help us cover t(rip) …”
I’ll donate a short bus to nowhere.
Do the MORAN birthers not work?
Oui, the peephole?
French voyeurs!
Oh, there’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance . . .
The capitol police should set up a free speech zone for the birthers! It’s only fair!
davitydave: Maybe. Though tossing them in the klink for harassing folks would be more appropriate. Unless they are making the same stupid threats in person that they make online. Then it should be a simple matter of a good tasering.
S.Luggo: Ye gods. I had to stop reading the latest twats for fear that the sheer inanity would turn my brain to tapioca. The heat must be getting to these morans, because their twits are getting more and more incoherent. Also.
glamourdammerung: Tossing them in the klink would only serve to martyr them in the eyes of fellow birthers. Setting up a giant cage out on the mall, labeling it a free speech zone, then herding them in would be much more fun to watch (and not listen to).
nappyduggs: Don’t forget the Trucknutz(TM)hanging below that Jeebus licence plate.
davitydave: They already screech and cry about being martyrs, so I fail to see an issue with throwing them in jail for breaking the law over being pissed off they lost an election.
tootsieroll: Before that, tell the birth-tards that their request for donations must first be put into the form of a petition.
Godot: Mott the Hoople
davitydave: Bad call brother. Once in the cage, they instinctively starting throwing their feces around.
Dashboard_Buddha: Ewww, I withdraw my call for birther cages.
ManchuCandidate: you must be THIS slender to vote.
I’m not familiar with The Twitter. Is this normal spelling?
thetalltexan: over 65, nearly all of them
rev_matt_y: If you think the south was bad then, I just read a series of books about the Founders–if it had been up to the southern colonies, there would be no US of A.
Wonder if this shit has anything to do with the fact Rachel just said that a Gallup poll showed only five states are solidly Republican. And, yes, Oklafuckinghoma is one of them.
Back on topic, mine anyway: Read any news about witch killings in Africa, Christian burnings in India, Ahmahehardname’s supporters in Iran, etc, and it’s always the same: Uneducated, often rural people are the killers and the educated the victimized. It never fucking changes. And okies are truly southern, in that they are proud of how fucking stupid and uneducated they are.
Bill E Pilgrim: ““investigival”
Isn’t that a word associated with human anatomy? And evolution? Like a vestigi–oh, no. I guess they’re not talking about Darwin’s theory after all.
thetalltexan: “Do the MORAN birthers not work?”
Not if they get paid by a Health Ins. Lobbying outfit.
This is a resourceful bunch of baggers. Who knew food stamps could be traded for internet access?
What I always find so ironic about Republicans is they obviously suffer from mental birth defects caused by industrial pollution and yet resist any efforts to curb said pollution. Who knows, maybe that’s how they spawn or replicate or Rush Limbaugh shits more of them out. Birther delirium is second only to Bachmann burner overdrive for hilarious idiocy. As far as Obama is concerned…he’s black and intellectual and successful and wait…I said black!?! He CAN’T be president! go back to your holes white supremacists…or maybe go hide inside Lou Dobbs’ protective taint.
S.Luggo: Comedy platinum, the hits just keep on coming:
The city is beautiful tonight. Our local volunteer… VirginisGent has graciously invited us to The Capital Brewing Company… #phnm
http://twitter.com/CrystalChalice/status/3133943717
After seven hours of crushing pint after hoppy pint of Amber Waves Ale and Capitol Kölsch (PARTAAAAAAY! WHOOOOEEEE!):
It is late what a wonderful night. Staying with 3 Christian women…. even if they are all Texans… Is a FANTASTIC experience #phnm
http://twitter.com/CrystalChalice/status/3140444705
FANTASTIC! Even if it is with a bunch of secessionist lesbo beards for Rick Perry!
Lea and Lizzie B. should join forces against annoying Hill visitors. Although I have to say Lea is way cooler than Liz, but they’d need Liz to do the dirty work.