Wonkette
Remember Judd Gregg, the New Hampshire RINO who accepted a top job in Barack Obama’s Politburo and then melodramatically refused to actually take the job, like some emotionally unstable goth teen? Well he is back, sort of! The grandstanding old cocksucker went on CNBC to bitch about “Cash for Clunkers,” a government rebate plan with broad bipartisan support and popular acclaim that accomplishes the neat trick of getting polluting old jalopies off the road while keeping the car companies alive during these last tough months of the Great Recession — because this brief and helpful program will obviously cause the United States to become a “banana republic in 10 years.” This is what Judd Gregg said, on teevee.
Gregg, the ranking member of the Senate Budget Committee, asserted that programs like “cash for clunkers” would pile up to as much as 80 percent of the total U.S. economic output because of federal spending.
“We’re going to be like a banana republic in 10 years!” Gregg said during a panel discussion on CNBC. “Sure, Americans want the program. But if you stop and think about it, is it right to do for our children?”
The Hill then explains to its readers who, obviously, only know “Banana Republic” as the expensive version of Old Navy: “The term ‘banana republic’ usually refers to countries that are politically and economically unstable, and run by a small, powerful group.”
You know, like Kenya, with the apes!
Anyway, Ol’ Judd, who Obama almost put in charge of Commerce, said on a business teevee channel that it is his reasoned opinion that, because of this car-rebate program in 2009, 80% of American economic output will soon consist of “Cash for Clunkers.”
This is just one more reason why you should never, ever watch CNBC. If that dumbshit death’s head Larry Kudlow isn’t jabbering his hateful nonsense, or circus act Jim Cramer isn’t weeping or pooping his diaper while encouraging you to solidify your stock losses by selling low like all the other suckers, some dingbat like Judd Gregg will be a “special guest.” Turn off CNBC forever.
The politically correct thing to say would be jungle monkey porch party watermelon fiesta. Get it right Juddhead.
Why do I have the feeling the word ‘banana’ pops into Judds head whenever he looks into a mirror.
No one loves you when your both pre-menstrual AND post-menopausal, Judd…
Note to Judd Hersh Gregg:
What was the last 8 years of W rule then?
Yeah, I thought so.
Obama almost made a very stupid decision. Then he remembered: never hire a man with two first names. Soon thereafter the Cash for Clunkers program took off and its been all downhill ever since.
“Sure, Americans want the program. But if you stop and think about it, is it right to do for our children?”
Your right JG…Americans (including kids) would like to have health care and economic stability as well to perpetuate the American Dream. Fuck ‘em. It’s much more fun to kill off Gov’t programs that actually work and choke off Social Security and Medicare. All the time while running up a tab for two wars on our Bank of China Card.
I like bananas.
What, no clunker of your own, gregghead? Jealous.
Apparently you don’t have to know anything about anything to get “elected” to high office in these last waning days of the US Murrican Imperium. And once thus “elected” you can jabber about whatever, as much as you want, on the CNBC. It is in the Constitution, or maybe the book of Revelations.
“Turn off CNBC forever.”
In honor of our Canadian President I say: no way eh! Becky Quick is a babe, so I can tolerate all the other so-called news.
So, removing gas-guzzling cars from our roads isn’t good for our children?
What’s this hatred of bananas, Judd? You you traumatized by these guys as a child?
programs like “cash for clunkers” would pile up to as much as 80 percent of the total U.S. economic output because of federal spending.
Um — what does that even mean? Is he saying that 80% of our economy will be government-subsidized trash collection in ten years? Considering that it made Ford profitable last month, it sounds like the best billion dollar expenditure in years. I’m having a hard time believing this guy could even make change for a fiver, much less run Commerce.
Funny, I thought a Banana Republic meant a third world country ruled by a slightly dictatorial oligarchy featuring a huge disparity between a small group of rich folks and a much larger group of poor people and an economy built entirely to help the oligarchy at the expense of the poor. You’d figure the Republicans would be all for it.
The government need do just two things for children, asserts Gregg: (1) send them into multi-trillion dollar wars whose justification comes from lies and faulty intelligence and (2) insure their access to sweet, nourishing maple syrup through massive subsidies.
Hooray For Anything: They’re for it until someone proposes giving some chump change to the poors, then they get uptight about “fiscal discipline.”
“Turn off CNBC forever.”
A-fucking-men, brother Layne.
The term ‘banana republic’ usually refers to countries that are politically and economically unstable, and run by a small, powerful group.”
You know, like Kenya, with the apes!
Or New Hampshire, with the assholes.
And this is one of the many reasons that Obama and the Democrats should have just steamrollered these fools a while back.
tricks with fruit are kind of cute, senator, but methinks mebbe your potassium levels are too low and it’s hamperin yer thinkin. a banana a day oughtta help clear that right up.
by “our children” Judd means “my portfolio”
BTW, when did the War in Iraq start being called “Cash for Clunkers”? Does anyone know?
The sad thing about this is that the revenue generated by state sales tax, along with saving jobs, keeping lines open, and federal revenue streams from a profitable automotive sector will windup offsetting the $1 billion initial investment from the fed.
This guy was seriously in the running for Commerce?!?
4tehlulz: Also, remember that Gregg is the same one that sent earmarks towards projects his family had interests in, was one of the creators of TARP (while having stock in at least one of the banks involved), and then tried to sell his Senate seat (which lead to his hissy fit about the cabinet position).
CNBC = financial porn
azw88: No, JJudd Ggregg was terrorized by this terrorista:
http://www.nodium.com/wp-content/img/article/262.jpg
United Fruit Co forevah!
Do the Banana Republic stores still exist? Are they in between Gap and J.(we are so great even though we work in a chain store for minimum wage) Crew? Also why are so many Republican politicians ugly?
In today’s age of you-tube and hulu - I sincerely hope that statements like these come back to haunt these idiots when the recession turns around and the economy is back in order - which should be in about six months…
That will give the DNC plenty of time to create all sorts of chicken little ads for the next election cycle.
Of course, that’s assuming Obama’s truly not trying to turn the US into a communist state
He doesn’t realize that we’re already a banana-flavored republic. As everybody knows, bananas are delicious, but anything banana-flavored tastes like concentrated swine flu.
hobospacejunkie: He hired Greg Craig, didn’t he?
With McCain as Prez, we would be Old Navy.
With Palin as Prez, we would be the Gap.(in intelligence)
So, Banana Republic does not sound so bad. Just don’t slip.
Imagine how stupid this will sound in six months when we’re out of the recession, and the stimulus becomes a thing of the past. I certainly hope there will be plenty of fodder on you-tube for ads during the next election cycle.
V572625694: I thought that was Gov Sanford’s chica?
“We’re going to be like a banana republic in 10 years!”
Does Judd mean we’re going to get these awesome benefits that GAP employees get: http://www.gapinc.com/public/Careers/car_bene.shtml and nice clothes to boot?
COUNT ME IN!!!!!!
Gregg is more of a Member Only guy.
When in doubt, scream “Oh won’t someone think of the children!” Seems like that’s all I’ve heard Repubs say for months.
Judd Gregg doesn’t seem to understand economics or agriculture. First, a “banana republic” has an economy where business owners control the military and are therefore more powerful than the elected civilian government - isn’t that a Republican wet dream? And second, bananas don’t grow in most of the USA.
The ghost of Minor Keith could school this petulant little twit about what it takes to build a banana republic, I might add. After Gregg has constructed a railroad, at the cost of thousands of lives (including his own brothers) through the tropical rainforest, created an entire new cash crop through innovative agribusiness techniques and selective breeding; overthrown several governments; and wiped out all business challengers to his domain, THEN I think we can discuss banana republics. Trading in a few old cars? *facepalm* Minor Keith and John Foster Dulles are farting in this guy’s general direction.
The daiquiris in Banana Republics are first rate.
V572625694: We’re looking at this all wrong. Gregg is actually quivering with anticipation of the day we finally become the merciless oligarchy his ilk have always dreamed about. Need evidence? This image is on his ‘private messages only’ stationery:
http://www.sinaltrainal.org/anterior/Imagenes/chiquita.jpg
I don’t think Gregg is that much of an idiot– I just think that after his flirtation with working for the Obama administration, he has to kiss the ass of his fellow Republicans by showing as much as possible that he is a true Conservative. This means, of course, acting like an idiot.
SayItWithWookies: Clearly it’s word salad. Palin’s speaking disorder must be contagious.
friendlyskies: …and William Walker is peeing on his foot.
Monsieur Grumpe: In all seriousness, I did think the term ‘banana republic’ referred to countries that are politically and economically unstable, and run by banana-eating jungle monkeys.
Yeah, keep us from being a banana republic like Nicaragua, with their despicable 3.9% unemployment.
user-of-owls: Hey, this is my state, here. Thank God Judd will be leaving office in 2010. We have a good chance of turning both Senators blue.
Until then, Uncle Judd has to be tolerated, if not venerated.
“is it right to do for our children?”
Replacing old gas guzzlers with fuel efficient ones.
Hell yes.
Banana Republic? Hah! We can’t grow bananas here, except maybe in FL, PR, and Guam. We’re more of a McDonalds Benevolent Dictatorship, something that Sen Gregg and his fellow republicans have been orchestrating for almost a decade now.
user-of-owls: “merciless oligarchy his ilk have always dreamed about”? How about:
1. Concentration of wealth in the hands of Yale/trust-fund-madrassa graduates and Petroleum Club members
2. Locking up people without trials
3. Spying on citizens without court approval, and punishing them if they complain
4. Using the Army for domestic law enforcement (okay, didn’t happen but was considered)
5. Kidnapping people, and torturing them to get confessions
6. Abuse of the (already shaky) “state secrets” argument to deny legal recourse
7. The economy run like a casino where Goldman Sachs gets the house percentage, which is 80%
It was great while it lasted, wasn’t it! Ah, Dubya, we hardly knew ya….
According to my maths, if every car under the Clunkers program gets the full $4,500 rebate, and the program gets the full $3 billion in funding, that works out to a total of 666,666.7 cars.
The Senator is right — THIS PROGRAM IS THE DOUBLE ANTI-CHRIST and will surely be the end of us all!!!
Won’t someone* PLEASE think of the fucking kids???
Please??
* other than Mark Foley
As Senator Gregg correctly notes, ultimately it is all about the children. Which is why he voted against SCHIP.
I’m offering a Cash for Cojones program. $20,000 to any politician who is willing to act and speak in a non-scripted, spontaneous way.
Mark Sanford excluded.
I thought we already became a banana republic under President Chimp and Vice President Dick Head?
Fun Fakt: $1 billion = 0.007% of the economy. Assuming modest economic growth, that means with a mere 14,000 or so new Cash for Clunkers type programs, per year, for the next 10 years, his chilling prediction may come true!!! Or, you know, we could just bail out Goldman Sachs 321 days a year till then (Treasury doesn’t work on Muslim holidays and Kwanza).
Even more terrifying: Google News lists about 25,000 hits on “Cash for Clunkers,” which means this massive transition to Socialism would entail something like three and a half trillion newspaper articles worth of bullshit hand-wringing and sad lies (that’s 9.5 billion articles per day — 180,000 for each remaining newspaper journalist). Better start hiring, Wonkette.
(This also reminded me of one of my favorite Victor Pelevin lines, about the USSR transforming from “an evil empire [to] an evil banana republic that imported its bananas from Finland.”)
slappypaddy: But does he keep his pussy clean?
el_chupacabra: I’m in Florida, with fruity old Mark Foley and Charlie Crist, and bananas DO grow in this part of the United States. Connection? Ew.
So we all have to wear white, crips button downs with khaki pants? Not really my style.
Well, god made bananas with a beer-can opener top, a slip-resistant ridged grip and a curved shape so that you wouldn’t have to crane your neck to eat them. So why is “banana republic” a disparaging phrase?
Hooray For Anything: “… a huge disparity between a small group of rich folks and a much larger group of poor people and an economy built entirely to help the oligarchy at the expense of the poor” totally describes where I live (Arizona). Our Senators Kyle and Henghh did their damndest to create it; maybe they’ve recommended their great utopia to Buddy Judd.
Thanks to that big lottery jackpot supplementing his senate benefits, Gregg’s definitely in the “rich folks” category, so I guess he now sees the benefit of having serfs. Perhaps he turned down the cabinet position after his accountant explained to him that he would just trade one government salary for another by joining the Team of Rivals. Mr. Economics thought he was going to get an extra paycheck.
Wasn’t Judd Gregg a character in “Oklahoma?”
Don Juanquete: I’m pretty sure Palin is Old Navy in that scenario, despite Walnuts’ sea-faring background.
thefrontpage: You’re thinking of Juggs Hunter.
dedalus: Please make the first check out to Sarah
PalinHeathtrondant: no, there’s no way
The US has been a banana republic since at least 2000 and probably long before.
Zhu Bajie
Yes we have no clunkers we have no clunkers today
pondscum: the awl has an excellent article today on the many ways in which it is good for children/teenagers. it goes further than the gas guzzling.
imissopus: oh, they’ve been thinking of children for more than mere months…
I thought Justin Barrett said that to Louis Gates.
And still we know next to nothing about the curvature of Judd Gregg’s manly appurtenance.
pondscum: “So, removing gas-guzzling cars from our roads isn’t good for our children?”
Yeah, it’s good, but waaaaay more expensive than abortions. $4500 a pop, to eliminate a clunker, like Harry Reid, is just not economically viable vs. the alternative. The ‘79 Ford LTD we retire wouldn’t have lived as many years as the unwanted 2009 Ford backseat Foetus. It’s the carbon footprint people, even when that footprint is on the headliner of the compact car.
horay! we are as free as the cuntrees we leburated from the far south mexicans
Am I remembering incorrectly, or do Judd Gregg have a drawl? I swear to the FSM I remember this guy sounding more North Carolina than New Hampshire.
If there is a god, or god-type equivalent, the GOP will just call “game over” and pack it in. These motherfuckers are broke in every sense of the word.
Gopherit: I had a banana tree in our back yard when I was growing up in New Orleans, so they can grow in Louisiana, too. Don’t know where the tree is now. Probably floating out in the Gulf somewhere.