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IMPORTANT COMPETITIONS

Orly Taintz Acts Funny On Teevee, And A Wonkette Contest!

Heroic provider of truths Orly Taitz went on television’s MSNBC channel this afternoon to discuss her latest proof that Obama is black. Heavens to Betsy! This is too classic. It must be performance art — Arianna Huffington applying a heavy spray-tan and a Marilyn Monroe wig, channeling her days as a Republican congressman’s wife. “LEE-sten to me! LEE-sten LEE-sten, Tahm-ron!” Ha ha! NOW THE IMPORTANT PART: Time for a photo contest!

First, check out this inspirational tips submission from operative “pepsicoke555,” who writes, “i just want to be respected by someone for something.”

So: can you, dear reader, PRODUCE A REAL IMAGE of Barack Obama’s REAL birth certificate? Be creative with those guidelines, and submit your CERTIFIED DOC-U-MINTS to tips@wonkette.com, subject line “ACTUAL LEGAL PROOF THAT SARA K. SMITH IS BLACK,” by 1:00 p.m. Tuesday. We will apply a Weigel-esque discriminating eye to decide “which ones are real.”

[YouTube]


6:25 PM on Mon August 3 2009
By Jim Newell
18844 Views

  1. zhubajie says at 6:29 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    So how oily ARE her tights?

    Zhu Bajie

  2. Ugh she is SO god damn Russian.

  3. wrytoast says at 6:32 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Is that her real hair? Discuss.

  4. Tommmcatt says at 6:32 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    That Bigfoot is eerily reminiscent of Sarah Palin.

  5. Snidely says at 6:32 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Eva Gabor was so wonderful on “Green Acres.” When did she become a Birther?

  6. DollarStorePregnancyTest says at 6:34 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I turned it off when the holocaust references started.

    Did they pick this woman to represent their cause? Or did she volunteer?

  7. Tommmcatt says at 6:34 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    wrytoast:

    What’s to discuss? No.

  8. rocktonsammy says at 6:34 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I’d hit that.

    Who names their kid Orly Taintz?

  9. Gopherit says at 6:36 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    She reminds me of Lady Gaga 20 years from now. I fucking love it when someone goes unhinged on national news. It smells like victory.

  10. Werefrog says at 6:36 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    O RLY Taitz? YA RLY!

  11. coastingdownhill says at 6:38 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Orly Taitz did my root canal. I think. The voice sounds familiar.

  12. widget09 says at 6:38 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Waiting, to smash in their windows & kick in their doors
    Waiting, to follow the worms
    CuCuCachew, She is out of the ballpark Batshit Crazy
    Here story is orally tainted.

  13. ScubaDew says at 6:39 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but I just wish the birthers would at least settle on one theory. Some say that he was born in Kenya, which wouldn’t matter anyways, since his mother was American, making him a natural born citizen.

    Others say he might have been born in the U.S. but that doesn’t matter because his dad was a Kenyan, which disqualifies him from being a natural-born citizen (it doesn’t).

    And then there are people who say he was a natural born citizen until his mother remarried to an Indonesian, which magically made Obama an Indonesian too, or some similarly retarded theory.

    Birfers, please settle amongst yourselves which theory you’d like to use and get back to us.

  14. Hey when did Jimmy Kimmel get a job at MSNBC?

  15. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 6:40 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I’m part jewish and she’s making me into an Anti-Semite.

  16. smartypants says at 6:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Thank Zeus for Wonkette…I needed a belly laugh right NOW.

  17. pdiddycornchips says at 6:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    So the head of the Birther movement is an offensive crazy lady from Tel Aviv? Everytime I think the wingnuts have hit bottom they get the shovel out and dig deeper.

  18. Suds McKenzie says at 6:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Why is a Cocker Spaniel bothering the glorious Tamron Hall?

  19. $20 says she likes to tell people their horoscope even if they don’t give a fuck and that she has a Yorkshire terrier with painted claws.

  20. skutre says at 6:44 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Looks like Mrs Polly has some updating to do on the Orliad
    http://snarkopolitan.blogspot.com/2009/03/orliad-book-2.html

  21. problemwithcaring says at 6:45 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    “…refused to come to the studio, because of a Muslim-sounding name…of the driver…”

    Someone please ware Orly, not to travel to DC! Muslins control all the parking and good nightclubs….

  22. Mull_Man says at 6:46 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    What, no pledge of allegiance? I am so disappointed.

  23. orange says at 6:49 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    DollarStorePregnancyTest: Oh was she imposed on them.

  24. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 6:50 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    pdiddycornchips: Well, Orange County, not Tel Aviv.

  25. bitchincamaro says at 6:51 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Apparently Shuster took nothing away from his unexpected encounter with Charlie Pierce from The Boston Globe last week.

    http://video.aol.co.uk/video-detail/guest-tears-into-mainstream-media-during-msnbc-appearance/3931259121

    Suck it MSNBC.

  26. kdaddy says at 6:51 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    It’s all kind of an Elke Sommer, Tammy Fae Baker, Seka, dementia moment for me. Which means
    I’m showing my age, and also probably my penis.

  27. Aquannissiwamissoo says at 6:51 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    You’d think her birfer followers would get the hint and not be so fat.

  28. Holding Out for a Hero says at 6:52 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Somewhere Rahm, Gibbys and Axe are giving each other “the high four and a half” after watching that meltdown.

  29. Scandalabra says at 6:52 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I also had a bad experience with Kitty Pilgrim.

  30. Nice necklace. Is that a miniature headpiece for the Staff of Ra?

  31. ScubaDew says at 6:53 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    FunkyPalmettoBug: You think you have it rough? Imagine how the fake blondes and spray-on tan enthusiasts feel. They already have low enough self-esteem as it is.

  32. fromhils says at 6:54 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Co-workers response to this video: She’s Borat! Its a joke right, she is not real. She can’t be.

    I for one agree and can’t wait for the movie to come out. Then all the gullible slobs who believed she was a real person (as opposed to an alien from Uranus) will start suing “her”. Good thing “she” is a “lawyer”

  33. Aquannissiwamissoo says at 6:54 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Despite being dead and not having duct tape on her boobs, Wendy O. Williams here looks hittable.

  34. LittlePig says at 6:54 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Mull_Man: “I pledge allegiance to the taints of the united space of adipose, to the lipids of which it’s made, one smear, undistinguished, with grease and skidmarks for all.”

  35. mocowbell says at 6:55 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Gosh, Lou Dobbs looks fabulous in that blond wig. Takes off 10 years and 20 pounds!

  36. donner_froh says at 6:58 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    “ACTUAL LEGAL PROOF THAT SARA K. SMITH IS BLACK,”

    As if it could be questioned.

  37. Anita Cocktail says at 6:58 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    She looks just like Crazy McCain Rally Lady!

  38. lionboy says at 6:58 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Attorney, dentist, realtor, birther, TV show oddity, probably a beard for some Republican closet case– how does she find the time to fit it all into a day?

  39. Man, that’s annoying. I wish they’d both shut the hell up.

  40. FlipOffResearch says at 6:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Orly Taitz, that sounds like something a hooker would charge you $20 for.

  41. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 6:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    ScubaDew: A friend of mine joked about her Colbert report clip: “Why is she wearing my grandmother’s drapes?”

  42. problemwithcaring says at 6:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009
  43. bitchincamaro says at 7:00 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Aquannissiwamissoo: That was Scotch Brand +33 premium electrician’s tape. I’m quite sure.

  44. krustysfather says at 7:04 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I’d hit that.

    /obligatory
    //wait, this isn’t Fark?
    ///slashies!!!! anyway

  45. BadKitty says at 7:05 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Oh come on, Orly? O RLY? Taintz? “She” has to be a drag queen doing the best bit of satire since Andy Kaufman died.

  46. coastingdownhill says at 7:09 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    pdiddycornchips: She’s from OC. As in Orange County. As in right-wing suburbanites with an airport named after John Wayne.
    Dentist, Lawyer, Real Estate Agent. And recently, entertainer.

  47. widget09 says at 7:10 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    The Mainstream Media = Nuts

  48. trickyrick says at 7:13 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Servo: no one is going to take that bet, I wager.

    BadKitty: oily taints. exactly. sooo John Waters with a essence of commie red.

  49. Gopherit says at 7:15 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    meh, I’m too lazy to break out photoshop for this, but i think this would make a good contest entry starter:

    http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_01/mosesHeston2703_468×611.jpg

  50. Canuckledragger says at 7:15 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Whenever possible, I avoid Oily Taintz.

  51. lionboy says at 7:16 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    BadKitty: Lou Dobbs in drag perhaps?

  52. MonaLisa65 says at 7:21 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    http://wonkette.com/410267/orly-taintz-acts-funny-on-teevee-and-a-wonkette-contest#comment-377345 But the hooker would let you finish askin’ for it, and wouldn’t try to strong-arm you into lettin’ her repeat herself….

    Please make teh crazee lady stop talkin’. Doesn’t she have a scaling or a briefing or a showing or a meds-pickup to perform?

  53. SlouchingTowardsWasilla says at 7:23 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    “He is illegitimate to be President” is my favorite line and she’s repeated it a thousand times. I love it that she doesn’t have a single person near her that knows or is willing to tell her that that ain’t English.

  54. martinette says at 7:24 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Now everyone knows why Oliver Wendell Douglas had to haul that crazy shit out to Hooterville.

  55. Blue_in_VA says at 7:24 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Batshit crazy. Okay? Okay.

  56. Dreamer says at 7:27 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Did she claim Obama had multiple Social Security Numbers? WTF does this have to do with his birth certificate and why didn’t the fucking FBI discover this when they did a background check on him? These fuckwits can’t stick to one looney theory - everyday they are throwing another crazy idea.

  57. johnnypantalones says at 7:27 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Why aren’t there more fake Kenyan birth certificates? We could really stimulate the economy by getting these mouthbreathers to sign over their SS checks to get their grubby mitts on the smoking gun, and all it would take is photoshop and some quality document distressing. Just print it out, let your baby play with it and then it’s off to FreeRepublic to make yourself a quick hundy or two. Don’t make me throw down the gauntlet at SomethingAwful, this is something the Wonketeers should be engaging in, not the goons. Get to work, people!

  58. Dear Diorama says at 7:28 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Schuster: Please tell us about integrity.

    Orly: You are worse than the holocaust! Stop talking! No wire hangers! NO WIRE HANGERS!!!

  59. Badtux says at 7:29 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Is that a dead possum on her head, or what?! And has anybody ever seen Orly Taitz and Sacha Baron Cohen in the same room? Curious penguins want to know!

  60. boinggg says at 7:29 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Lawyer, dentist, taxidermist. She must know what she’s talking about.

  61. NoWireHangers says at 7:30 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Oily Taint sounds like a foreign. Burn her!

  62. nmmagayar says at 7:31 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Aquannissiwamissoo: Wendy O. is dead?

  63. El Pinche says at 7:32 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Orly Taitz = Victoria Jackson + Zsa Zsa Gabor + Michelle Malkin + a hint of Lady Gaga.

  64. JooJoo Bee says at 7:32 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Oh this one’s an enemy made in heaven — as if Coulter weren’t heavenly enough. Keep it up, schweetheart. We’ll need a second 4 years to recover from the last 8.

  65. Dreamer says at 7:32 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    johnnypantalones: what i don’t understand why isn’t some Nigerian scammer makig money out of these nutcases?

  66. ScubaDew says at 7:36 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I don’t know if anybody’s brought this up yet, but could it be that this is just Sasha Baron Cohen making his newest movie?

  67. johnnypantalones says at 7:39 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Dreamer: I suspect one already has, but this is a growth industry! We shouldn’t be letting the Nigerians corner the market on these people, it’s time we Americans stood up and started making something in this country again. The time is now, Wonketteers. Fire up your PhotoShops and make this country great again by selling fake birth certificates to racist idiots.

  68. Jim89048 says at 7:39 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I prefer my Taintz baked, not fried. Less Orly that way.

  69. Jukesgrrl says at 7:40 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Wasn’t she on Laugh-In?

  70. smartypants says at 7:45 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    ScubaDew: Oh, Please Santa!

  71. SlipperyDick says at 7:51 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    zhubajie: Not tights - Tah Eats!

    Me, I read it and thought it was t’aints, as in the South Carolina lingo, T’aint so.

    But Orly does have a point about the Coulter criticism. If a nutter calls you crazy, that does not make it so?

  72. Country Club Jihadi says at 7:52 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    O RLY needs an LOLcatz capshun. I can haz STFU? She is Didi Conn in Grease, also.

  73. Oldskool says at 7:53 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Two problems:

    1) David Shuster could make Tonya Harding seem sympathetic.

    2) All the really crazy wimin are hot.

  74. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 7:53 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Watching the video again: she’s like a muppet. A racist, shrill dumbfuck of a muppet.

  75. skutre says at 7:55 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    problemwithcaring: Thanks, looks like Kevin has compiled all the Orly links. Mrs Polly she one smart and funny lady

  76. Aquannissiwamissoo says at 7:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Fee Waybill is looking good these days, for a dood dressed up like a Ukrainian cougar.

    http://www.kulick.net/photos/FeeWaybill.jpg

  77. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 8:01 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Aquannissiwamissoo: I’m throwing the red flag.

    Orly Taitz is no Wendy O.!
    ~

  78. WesternCorrespondent says at 8:03 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    wrytoast: I’m not sure anything on Orly Taitz is real. Except for the shrill of her voice, she looks an awful lot like a transvestite.

  79. Barrelhse says at 8:03 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    She should get the money back from her sex-change operation.

  80. EdFlinstone says at 8:04 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Oldskool: You find that hot? Tamron is hot. Orly couldnt get my dick up past my taint.

  81. SuperStarr says at 8:05 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    “Both parents have to be U.S. citizens.” This is a new tact for the bircerferticket folks and it’s utter bullshit. She needs to do some fact-checking with Lou Dobbs, who’s in a dither because, in fact, neither has to be a U.S. citizen.

  82. Dreamer says at 8:08 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    johnnypantalones: I somehow think the fake birth certificate is made by some clever libtard making fun of these idiots. Just look at the clever “mistakes”. But I agree with you we should try something.

  83. President Beeblebrox says at 8:08 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Having (a) graduated from a real, live ABA-accredited law school and (b) taken and passed the bar exam in a state that doesn’t allow graduates of places like William Howard Taft U. Law School, Abraham Lincoln U. Law School, Aristotle University Institute of Law and Jurisprudence, University of Silicon Valley Law School, and John William University School of Law to take the bar exam, I would just like to say to Dr. Dentist Oily Taints, J.D., D.D.S.:

    Fuck you.

  84. Jukesgrrl:
    The Gong Show, where she was quickly gonged by the fast-acting Jamie Farr.
    A bit late but…How about them Pens?

  85. FlipOffResearch says at 8:09 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    The Doctor walked into the examination room with a grim countenance. He looked me directly in the eye and said “I’m afraid you’ve contracted an Orly Taitz.”
    God, that lady filibusters something fierce. Kind of like Liz Cheney. The GOP’s death is becoming exceedingly ugly.

  86. Nasi Goreng says at 8:13 pm, August 3rd, 2009
  87. Nasi Goreng says at 8:14 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Why aren’t my posts going through ..

  88. GreatOldOnesParty says at 8:21 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Even if you went back in time and shoved their face in Mama Obama’s crotch as he was coming through the birth canal…
    For fuck’s sake…WFC!

  89. Oldskool says at 8:22 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    EdFlinstone: “You find that hot?”

    She’s under 300 lbs. Around here that’s a beauty queen.

  90. LeHanzka says at 8:23 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Why is that Wafflehouse waitress on television?

  91. Oldskool says at 8:25 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    GreatOldOnesParty: Who are you talking to and what are you saying.

  92. President Beeblebrox says at 8:25 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    SuperStarr: Guess that means we can retroactively cancel the Chester Arthur Administration.

  93. Nim, ham hock of liberty says at 8:25 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Chief Editor Korir will be releasing the real birf certificate any day now. Unless the big money boys shut him down again.

  94. EdFlinstone says at 8:26 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Holding Out for a Hero: The “high four and a half”, Im still laughing at that one.

  95. President Beeblebrox says at 8:29 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Godot: Except she’s Moldovan, which is like being Russian but with worse teeth.

    Take heed, all you guys who sign up for Russian/Ukrainian Bride Tours and think you’re gonna find the love of your life in Moscow, or Omsk, or even Chisinau: They’ll all look like Orly by the time they hit 45, and they’re only after your munnies anyway.

    Even by the low standards of the California Bar, she’s an embarrassment to the profession.

  96. problemwithcaring says at 8:29 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Nasi Goreng: OK - “Race: Captivatingly Kenyan” was some funny shit.

  97. Hieronymus Botch says at 8:35 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I can’t help but read Orly’s name in proper inter-speaks as ‘Oh, really?’

    Orly?

    Try it, it’s fun!

  98. digibal235 says at 8:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Does the contest involve me rupturing my eardrums with toothpicks? Because I think I win.

  99. Georgia Burning says at 8:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    BadKitty: gotta be Jimmy Fallon in a wig.

  100. seldom-seen smith says at 8:48 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Barrelhse: That’s not change we can believe in.

  101. wickedlittledoll says at 8:49 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    What’s not to trust about a dentist-attorney-real estate agent-birther leader with a thick Russian accent, penchant for heavy blue eye shadow and a passion for wild conspiracy theories also known as hating black people?

    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/07/dr-orly-taitz-esq-for-all-your-tooth.html

  102. JoeMac says at 8:51 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    It seems the KGB is alive and well and has sent Ms Taintz as an agent to disrupt the American political system.

  103. norbizness says at 8:51 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Don’t forget the Hollywood Upstairs Law School (directly adjacent to the Hollywood Upstairs Medical School made famous by Dr. Nick Riviera)

  104. norbizness says at 8:54 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Actually, I think she’s some sort of dessicated, mummified version of Balki’s girlfriend from that Perfect Strangers show. Will I need to produce a 20-year-old episode of the Pat Sajak Show to prove it? Possibly…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEtspyN9DeA

  105. EF Lavender says at 8:54 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Meh, I’d work on a photo, but I’m all tuckered out with adobe after banging out a birth certificate for some loon from Arizona. Besides, I’m a little busy responding to a request for my checking account routing number from the Bank of the Republic of Congo.

  106. Que miras, cabron! says at 8:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: 1. At least she waxed the mustache off her lip before she appeared on M.S.N.B.C. 2. Stop picking on graduates of the Nashville Y.M.C.A. Night Law School! http://www.nashvilleschooloflaw.net/abouttheschool.aspx

  107. thebeatgoeson says at 9:01 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Nasi Goreng: HAHAHA! But the date is wrong - his birthday is August 4th 1961. I sense that that certficate is fake…

  108. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 9:01 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Tel Aviv????? Mossad psyop anyone??

  109. whackabirther says at 9:04 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    politjab.com member has found the template doc ONLINE that was used to create the fake Kenyan BC!

    Full story with link to doc at politijab.com forum

  110. Neoyorquino says at 9:04 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Taitz: “I can’t hear word you say, darlink! Is all conspiracy started by Moose and Squirrel!”

  111. Hieronymus Botch says at 9:04 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Hieronymus Botch: Meh, maybe I should read the preceding comments before I post. Ahem, as you were, etc.

  112. whackabirther says at 9:07 pm, August 3rd, 2009
  113. S.Luggo says at 9:10 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Godot: He/she was born in the rustic, novacaine-producing foothills of the Transgender Mountains in the former Soviet Socialist Republic of Islamoteria. Her/his name on the forged the birth certification (notice: NOT ‘certificate’)is Орлий Тайц (Rosa Kleb).

    More: http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/01/dr-orly-taitz/

  114. She starts off talking about a “Hospital birth certificate,” which is a momento. Neither US or state government does not accept it as valid. So right away she working from a false premise. That’s a BIG surprise.

  115. Atheist Nun says at 9:13 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Aquannissiwamissoo: That gutter trash Orly cannot be compared to the delicate flower of womanhood that was Wendy O. Williams!

  116. Aquannissiwamissoo says at 9:14 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Funny, I paid this “service” for a Russian bride who liked to talk about politics while wearing false eyelashes, but after the check was cashed she never wrote back.

    Orly !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  117. S.Luggo says at 9:16 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    digibal235: Why are so hating the Russian peoples?

  118. hobospacejunkie says at 9:22 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    You are all illegitimate to be commenting!!1!2!

  119. I hope her wig turns against her!!!

  120. MSM = Moose and Squirrel Media

  121. President Beeblebrox says at 9:33 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Que miras, cabron!: I’ll see your Nashville YMCA Night Law School and raise you one American Justice® School of Law, er, that is Obscure Former Vice-President School of Law.

  122. She’s giving dentist/lawyers a bad name. Finding someone who does root canals and living wills will now only get harder.

  123. Carl Spakler says at 9:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Moose and Squirrel must die! I recommend deploying a bunny made of plastic explosives

  124. Carl Spakler says at 9:45 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    stew: Don’t forget real estate agent-taxidermist-emigres.

  125. DollarStorePregnancyTest says at 9:47 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    problemwithcaring: pure win!

    aleks: Natasha! Is that miserable moose and squirrel!

  126. sara_palin says at 9:49 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Holy SHIT! And Amurka thinks I’M crazy!

  127. sara_palin says at 9:52 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    kdaddy: I hear ya, beyond my temporary identity, which at this point I’m too drunk to disavow.

  128. S.Luggo says at 9:53 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    From the OC Weekly June 17, 2009, on-line article:
    “[Orly] Taitz smiled and pontificated in her Eastern European accent about the clerks of the Supreme Court whom she believed had been sabotaging her lawsuits.’” ["Clerks of the Supreme Court" is code for personal psychiatrists, unless Our Miss Rosa Kleb --- ironically, a sitcom of the 195Os in Russia -- means the Supreme Court of the constellation Ursa Minor]

    More at: http://www.ocweekly.com/2009-06-18/news/orly-taitz/1

  129. Mike Steele says at 9:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Gidget Goes Schizoid”

  130. Carl Spakler says at 10:05 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Seriously gang, go easy on Orly…she’s filling the void left in our daily diet of political fruit-cakery since the departure of Ex-AKGov Sarah Palin

  131. Mike Steele says at 10:06 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    The birthers are so fucking retarded that they can’t even get a real American to be their mouthpiece. It’s like having Latka conducting the prosecution at the Clinton impeachment. It’s embarrassing.

    I’m gonna bust that bitch upside the head with a plate ‘o hummus.

  132. S.Luggo says at 10:06 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Orly can see Alaska from her front porch.

  133. graceless says at 10:09 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Okay, so a non-American is questioning the Americanness of an American president? I need a trailer park reference here. Little help?

  134. EnBuenOra says at 10:19 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    I cannot see the slightest reason why anyone wouldn’t see this woman for the calm, reasoned voice of dissent she is.

  135. Don Juanquete says at 10:25 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Me thinks Swift Boater Jerome Corsi is behind this. He visited Kenya last year…remember, and got kicked out. Then he joined up with the Paultards, the uberlunatic fringe. Corsi=Orly.

  136. lawrenceofthedesert says at 10:27 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    aleks: Does that mean Lou Dobbs is Mr. Big?

    Has anyone considered that Orly is calling in from Israel, the forged artifacts capital of the world? There are guys there who will sell you the Ark of the Covenant for $100. Can we expect a pristine document from someone named “Taintz”? No, because she is a wild and crazy guy!

  137. Que miras, cabron! says at 10:33 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Orale! I’ll raise you one Reynaldo G. Garza Law School: http://www.lawschool.com/garza.htm

  138. Taintz/Palin 2012!

  139. wheelie says at 10:42 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Here is your proof, disbelievers:

    http://i31.tinypic.com/2d96yxf.jpg

  140. Jim89048 says at 10:45 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Birther control: Yer doin’ it wrong!

  141. Dashboard_Buddha says at 10:52 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Wait a minute…wait a god-damned minute. That’s the LEADER of the birthers? I never really paid much attention to the whole thing. I mean why pay attention to something that’s nuts? But now, now that I watched this…all I can ask is THAT’S THEIR FUCKING LEADER??? People follow her? I mean really…this is some kind of joke right? She’s a fucking cross between Yakov Smirnoff and a meth addled ferret!

    I can’t take much more of this.

  142. facehead says at 10:53 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    S.Luggo: word.

  143. facehead says at 10:59 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Dashboard_Buddha: If aliens landed in birther territory and said “take us to your leader,” they would meet Orly Taintz.

    I CAN HAZ SITCOM?!?!?//??

  144. Snidely: THAT’S WHO SHE REMINDS ME OF!!!

    Sorry, I’ve been trying to figure that out for WEEKS.

  145. Dashboard_Buddha:

    HEY!!

    I have a meth addled ferret that thinks it’s Hunter Thompson and is always gtrying to gnaw on my skull.

    I resent that!!

  146. Paul Tardy says at 11:09 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Tell me, is there a whole country of women like her?

  147. steverino247 says at 11:12 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    That’s about as whacked a human being as I’ve ever encountered and I used to work with the homeless mentally ill. Holy shit!

  148. Fly Over Girl says at 11:19 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Isn’t that the fake country they went to in Dynasty about season 5 where everyone got attacked at the wedding?

  149. SKS’ secret will be revealed!!

  150. Only in America can an illegal, teabagging alien called Oily Tits, get airtime by raping a tanning bed and questioning the President’s citizenship, in a Birther accent.

  151. Beltway Bully says at 11:28 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Lawyer, dentist, wig enthusiast.

    HERE”S YOUR PROOF, AMERICA

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DJC-ECU8IE

  152. schvitzatura says at 11:34 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Atheist Nun: Alrighty then, Dale Bozzio.

    Are you satisfied, now?

  153. http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/pictures/20081108NirthCertifikit.jpg

    Also What Did O’reilly’s taint do this time? Was Baba Ganoosh involved, er I mean a dildo?

  154. One Yield Regular says at 11:52 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Birthers, what do you *really* know about Ms. Taitz? Did you know your very own “leader” is not a natural-born citizen, but hails from the former Soviet Union? Have you considered the very strong possibility that as a child she was programmed by the Soviets (even her own autobiographical materials allude to the communist brainwashing of youth) to help bring about, at the opportune time, a dastardly effort to create the fall of an American President and the demise of the greatest nation on earth? The heirs to the Soviet Master Plan may well be snickering with glee at you, as you innocently, and fatally, turn your allegiance from the United States…to a Soviet plant.

  155. IrksomeKitty says at 11:54 pm, August 3rd, 2009

    Is it just me, or does this nutjob look like Bruno?

  156. Ooh No. If you’ll excuse me for a couple days, I think I’ve located my mail-order bride. …(why the fuck is she in Tel Aviv again? G-d help me)

  157. EdFlinstone: Maybe she could orly. Catch my meaning? Nods as good as a wink.

  158. Todd Mecklem says at 12:28 am, August 4th, 2009

    In 2006, Orly Taitz, dentist Laguna Niguel CA gave $500 to Friends of Joe Lieberman. Orty Taitz (sic), dentist, Laguna Niguel gave $1,000 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee.

    http://www.newsmeat.com/fec/bystate_detail.php?city=Laguna+Niguel&st=CA&last=taitz

    Eeeeenteresting.

    It seems to be Orly’s husband, Yosef “Yosi” Taitz, who is discussed at length in the book THE INFO MESA by Edward Regis, beginning on page 122. Sounds like a smart guy…and at one point the book says he “could even be called jolly.”

    http://books.google.com/books?id=txTbgtUbJRgC&pg=PA122#v=onepage&q=&f=false

  159. mightysea says at 12:47 am, August 4th, 2009

    ScubaDew: I have honestly wondered something similar… is it possible that this is a vast left-wing conspiracy to make republitards look tardy? It’s just too outrageous. Orly? O RLY? Taints? And she’s an online-lawyer dentist? I think even Sasha BC could not make this stuff up.

  160. Malachite Kingfisher says at 12:59 am, August 4th, 2009

    6 minutes of my life I can never have back, damn it–though I enjoyed the audible guffaw in the background at 5:24-5:25, when the subject of the possibly Muslim driver came up.

  161. cratty says at 1:21 am, August 4th, 2009

    Mayl,
    Keeiss my greeits.

  162. Beanball says at 1:22 am, August 4th, 2009

    If this is someone’s idea of a joke, I’m calling for a Nobel, at least.

    Also, that woman is totally a drug addict, and I should know.

  163. AnnieGetYourFun says at 1:34 am, August 4th, 2009

    OMG, yeah. There is so much Russian there that I am loathing 50% of my DNA with a great deal of … muchness.

  164. You’re all laughing now, but when Orly opens her dinner theater in Branson, MO, next to Yakov Smirnoff’s, and starts packing the rubes in for 3 shows a day, she will be laughing all the way to the bank.

  165. Carl Spakler says at 2:11 am, August 4th, 2009

    Shuster looked/sounded like he was getting a little PO’d with Dr. Taitz ESQ, attorney at law and real estate agent and communist spy. If not for Tameron, we’d of had some Jew on Jew violence we haven’t seen since the 900 BCE.

  166. Freelance Minion says at 2:19 am, August 4th, 2009

    Hey, wait. At one point she said “I do not care about Ann Coulter,” which means she said at least one thing we can ALL agree with her about.

  167. tropaean says at 2:31 am, August 4th, 2009

    I got as far as hearing her blather something about “journalistic integrity” and then collapsed into a giggle fit. I wanted to watch more, but I just can’t.

    Aren’t these the fuckwits that hounded Rather from the air, never to be heard from again, for not vetting a document?

    Stunning, really.

  168. tropaean says at 2:39 am, August 4th, 2009

    Hieronymus Botch: If you pronounce her first name like that, and her last name like the teevee dude, you have what I am pretty sure could be called false advertising.

  169. Atheist Nun says at 3:26 am, August 4th, 2009

    schvitzatura: Perfect! They both have that abrasive screeching tone to their voices that make dogs whimper and hide under the porch.

  170. Bill E Pilgrim says at 4:14 am, August 4th, 2009

    I liked her better in her 60s and 70s persona:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_DoHVfLZ3c&feature=related

  171. Don Juanquete says at 4:18 am, August 4th, 2009

    Why is she wearing pajamas?

  172. Nerdalicious says at 6:48 am, August 4th, 2009

    Gopherit:
    Love It!

  173. Nerdalicious says at 6:50 am, August 4th, 2009

    Lipstick must match outfit. Lipstick must match outfit.

  174. We at GHOPAC (Gigolos and Hos PAC) are saddened when one of our brethren or sistren makes a fool of him- or herself in the ‘political’ arena. Come home, Orly! The noble arms of our shared profession open wide to welcome you back. Also, we have some makeup and hair artists than can help your business prospects.

  175. DoctorCulturae says at 8:51 am, August 4th, 2009

    I don’t understand. If your taintz are orly, just get out some soap and wash them.

  176. KilgoreTrout_XL says at 9:40 am, August 4th, 2009

    These people should be given all the goddammed airtime they want, so that the southern GOP can continue to quietly agree with and promote them.

    I believe it was Thomas Jefferson who once said “Let’s give them just enough dildo to fuck themselves with.”

  177. Crazybroad says at 10:02 am, August 4th, 2009

    I feel bad for her, sorta. I mean, you’ve got to know you’re nuts when even Ann Coulter and Karl Rove won’t sign onto your bullshit wingnut theories.

  178. I’m tellin’ ya, Orly is the Ted Haggard of birthers. The lady doth protest, etc. Hmm, I wonder how I could get standing to subpoena her immigration application materials. I’m pretty sure there is something illigitamint about them. Perhaps the forensic experts at Wonkette could take a crack at those.

  179. Is Orly a transvestite, pre- or post-op transexual? Discuss

  180. iolanthe says at 10:48 am, August 4th, 2009

    Why do Russian women so often dress like cracked-out Tranny hookers and/or middle-aged Lolitas?

    This is a horrid generalization. But it’s based on actual observation.

    Here in LA, I can recognize a gaggle of Russian Cougars from 1/4 mile away. They’re the middle-aged women in the Jimmy Choo shoes, dressed like wedding cakes, or like RuPaul, or Lady GaGa, or Katy Perry on More Drugs, or like girls headed for their First Communion, or all of the above, simultaneously.

    Compared to them, Anna Nicole Smith and Amy Winehouse look as classy as Lauren Bacall.

    One of my doctors is a really nice Russian woman, funny and warm, curvy and slightly more zaftig than our cultural ideal, about 60 (like me). But she dresses like Betty Boop, if Betty was out turning tricks. Kind of terrifying. The thought of looking like that, especially at our age, made me throw out my animal prints and go buy sensible shoes and tops with higher necklines.

    Any theories? (Besides the one about me being a catty bitch. I’m already aware of that.)

  181. iolanthe: You are only somewhat off. They apply makeup like women *used* to apply it in the US. It just happens that the ORLY person goes a bit overboard. However, good taste has never been a characteristic of Russian culture since the Revolution. Nor has it been part of American culture, either. It just happens our bad tastes don’t agree with each other.

  182. Woodwards Friend says at 11:27 am, August 4th, 2009

    I’ve heard she was born in communist Russia. Where’s your birth certificate Orly Taitz?

  183. iolanthe says at 11:37 am, August 4th, 2009

    TGY: As in “with a trowel”? Yep. Thinking back to the so-called hotties on the original Star Trek, or on Petticoat Junction, or anywhere in the world of vintage country music, you have a point. It took the cultural revolution of the late 1960s through 1970s to get us to lay down our makeup trowels, bouffant hairpieces, and teasing combs.

    I’m guessing that “overdone and foofy” look started with the Gabor Sisters, who, although Hungarian expats rather than Russian expats, all but created that look.

  184. Oldskool: Really? Two is all you could get out of THAT?

    You ain’t trying very hard.

  185. flyingspaghettimonster says at 3:26 pm, August 4th, 2009

    is Oily Taintz kinda like Santorum, but for the ladies?

  186. So now Madonna’s an ATTORNEY in Tel Aviv?? WTF?!!

  187. Madge Dishvasser says at 7:19 pm, August 4th, 2009

    Wood b gud contest vas is ur fak birfday nam … ? Orly Taitz lready took.

  188. bagosaltedratdiks says at 7:23 pm, August 4th, 2009

    Orly Taintz:

    “It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin..”

    !

    );)

  189. pants of doom says at 10:59 am, August 5th, 2009

    I watched it all. Ok. ok. OK? ok. ok. OKAY. ok. ok? OK! OK…ok. ok. (also)

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