SMOKING GUN! California lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has released the Real Birth Certificate of Barack Hussein Nobama II, from Kenya, given to her by a secret source who is now Target #1 of the CIA & the Hawaiian Hospitals Director (same thing). Anyway, Washington’s hardest-working man in birtherology, Dave Weigel, has already debunked the dickens out of this. Our favorite part: “It’s signed by ‘registrar E.F. Lavender.’ Earth Friendly Lavender is a kind of detergent, and government officials who use vanity initials on official documents are, to put it mildly, rare.” BULSHITT WHADDA U KNO WYGEL? [World Net Daily, Washington Independent]
Birthers Unveil Hilarious New Forged Kenyan Birth Certificate!
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Finally!
Has Dan Rather commented on the authenticity?
Also, I love the way it’s all creased like it was folded up and carried all the way from Africa in Orly Taitz’ Russian knock-off Gucci.
Well, that should be the end of it then….
Wait a minute! How come it’s not in a plastic bag?
well, there it is, that proves it, beyond any doubt, and who coulda doubted it i mean come on there was jess no fuckin way a feller whose name wudn’t even american and who wasn’t, well, less be honest about it now, a feller who wudn’t even completely white now was he, well, there was jess no way he coold be the leegitamit president of the united states of god’s america no coold he, no sir, it’s high time he jess stood down before we have to show him out through the impeechment door, i mean, it’s proven now, it’s proved, jess look at that thar certificate, thar is no way it cooldn’t be the gen-wine article, it’s all over now cept the shoutin, less all have a beer an celebrate the constitooshun and say the pledge — say it, hell, less sing it, o byooteefull for spashous place…
The comments section on that site is a must-read, both for the satire and the keening of the true believers who now have their proof that Oswald didn’t act alone.
The family name Lavender is neither Blax nor Islamofacist in origin. That is all.
Someone really should tell the GOP that it is hard to avoid driving off the cliff if you’re not holding the steering wheel.
Or not.
I thought Orly Taitz is what you get from eating Olestra or taking Alli.
it’s gotta be the real deal. it’s got ‘certified copy of registration of birth’ printed right at the top.
when i use my copier at the office, the copies always have the same thing on them.
Hey! I got one of those same BCs, except mine says “Uganda”. I have to give me bank routing number to this nice Nigerian woman though. I haven’t checked my bank statements lately. Also.
Some of the whackjobs over there in the comments seem to believe that the under the rules of succession the president gets replaced by the former governor of Alaska.
Weigel’s article has great comments. including, of course, the call for the “long form”.
Oily Taint! Oily Taint! Oily Taint! Oily Taint! Oily Taint! Oily Taint!
Obama was born August 4, 1961. Kenya was still a commonwealth of the United Kingdom at that time. Ergo, Barrack Obama is a British citizen and therefore Prime Minister of England.
The freerepublic threads on this have been awesome.
Gotta be some mouthbreathers there with whiplash over how quickly they had to switch from “OMG!! Smoking Gun” to “liberals planted this forgery!!” in just a few short hours. They are surprisingly flexible in their non-thinking.
OK, I’m trying to put this puzzle together.
Normal lavender detergent causes estrogen imbalance in men, causing them to develop mammaries, PMS etc.
So Earth Friendly Lavender detergent was developed to avoid this problem.
Then EF Lavender signed the birth certificate.
What? To wash away the sins of whomever was paying him or her for the phony document?
And the same time, enjoy a secret titillation?
have the birthers mentioned that it is not a “birth certificate” but a “certified copy of registration of birth”?
A lawyer and a dentist, two educations designed to train for torture of fellow humans. However, Ms. Taintz is not satisfied abusing people in those ways, oh no she has to continue on torturing us with more of this birther non-sense.
Orly, (was she named for an airport just south of Paris?), was on Colbert the other night and she appeared to me be a bleached blond graduate of either Liberty or Bob Jones University. She was pointing out problems with hopey’s ss# and to be honest I have some question with what she is doing with anyone who isn’t a client or a patient’s social security number. I am just saying that sounds as if someone was involved with identity theft.
remember the last time republicans presented us with an “official document” from Africa?
This btw is from “Obamacrimes” Phil Bergs little cesspool of hatred (this is from a weekly discussions thread dated 4-19-2009 – 4-25-2009.
“Posted by Karen88 on today, 10:13
OMGosh!! Why couldn’t we do it now—FORGE w/great photoshop equipment a Kenya BC for Barry. Now granted someone may have to go be willing to go to the pokey for this little charade… BUT … if you think about it HOW would Obama prove that our Kenyan BC is a forgery? IN COURT that’s where … OR …Kenya would have to step up to the plate and declare “our” Kenya BC is a fake”
snip
“If Barry and Factcheck can forge COLBs (proof of citizenship) lets play THE SAME GAME. Lets create images of what could be a KENYA BC”
The more you know and all that. Obviously it took the birfers a little while to come up with the forgery but they were talking about it back in April. Ooooops.
Okay, so Joe’s president now, huh? Will this make the birthers happy? Is “Delaware” really a state, or some kind of petroleum by-product like Bakelite? Okay, it says “The First State” on their license plates, but that proves nothing!
It was all a sinister plan of the railroad buffs, who know that Amtrack Joe will now extend high-speed rail to every town, village and hamlet across the USA! All abooooard!
If there isn’t a pornstar named Oily Taints already, there should be now.
This was also witnessed by the Snuggle Fabric Softener Bear, so I consider it to be completely authentic.
[re=377028]nbawriter[/re]: If there isn’t a pornstar named Oily Taints already, there should be now.
My new Wonkette handle!
He’s bone-ified!
Orly Taitz is obviously fucking Jemome Corsi. They’re the two birher born-agains.
The two are a contemporary Sharon Falconer and Elmer Gantry duo, enjoying big orgasmic pleasure from their powers to control idiotic Americans.
I’m pretty sure that Oprah signed it at the bottom.
Anonymously sending a “Kenyan Birth Certificate” to the birthers is a lovely prank. Which one of you did it? Fess up now…
BUT … if you think about it HOW would Obama prove that our Kenyan BC is a forgery? IN COURT that’s where … OR …Kenya would have to step up to the plate and declare “our” Kenya BC is a fake”
Yes, because of course Obama himself will have to appear in court and will be forced to produce his actual Kenyan birth certificate to prove that this one is a fake. WTF? Do they actually believe their own “logic”????
This certificate could be questioned because it has not been signed by Lord Greystoke aka John Clayton, that well know African. After all he suppressed the Mau Mau revolt in the 1950′s and I know he had to sign off on all live births, particularly with a white woman involved.
Orly Taitz is such a ridiculous human being, that she’s obviously a plant put in by the Obama Administration to make all Birther arguments seem laughable.
Thus proving that Obama really WAS born in Kenya.
So these birthers really, really want “President Biden”, I guess?
I like the person in the comments who says why has no one at the hospital who was there when BHO was born come forward. Do these morans even think about what they write? Their stupidity overwhelms even me- and I know many stupidz. Why would anyone who was there remember anything about a particular baby unless it was born with 2 heads? And if someone did remember no one would believe them unless they are saying the baby was born in Kenya.
no E.F. Lavender avatar yet?? and what the fuck happened to “Fuck Toad”?
[re=377019]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: TAINT/DINGLEBERRY 2012!
[re=377037]Dave J.[/re]: Orly Taitz apparently graduated from the Judge Parker School of Law.
It’s such a fake, it’s not even written in African. JEEZE.
[re=377036]Cicada[/re]: If it was someone from here, it would have been signed T.R. Nutz.
So, if this is a fake then his place of birth still remains a mystery.
The Hawaii Department of Health refused to authenticate either of the two versions of ‘President’ Obama’s short-form Certificate of Live Birth, or COLB, posted online – neither the image produced by the Obama campaign nor the images released by FactCheck.org.
Janice Okubu, the public information officer for the Hawaii DOH, also had no explanation for why Dr. Chiyome Fukino’s initial press release last October and subsequent press release last week also avoided declaring the posted images to be of authentic documents.
If you’re asking, why would someone spend so much ($1M +) to cover up the truth? Don’t you people ever wonder about that? If not, may I ask you one more question? What flavor was the Kool-Aid that you drank?
[re=377050]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Actually Taft Online School of Law, which is why she cannot be licensed anywhere other than California. The school is not accredited by the ABA therefore no other state will recognize a law degree from there.
I’m still looking forward to invite a birther “expert” on his show to vouch for the sirtiffyKKKate’s authenticity so I can enjoy the sight of blood spurting out of Dobbs’ ears as his expert screama “Babba Booey! Babba Booey! Babba Booey!!!!!!1111
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
Ooooooh look wonketeers a real live birfer to play with! Be nice now – okay, never mind don’t.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Tropical Punch. All socialists love Tropical Punch Kool-Aid.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: HAHA, you haz a sad cuz a nigra’ is preznit.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
All right. You caught us. President Obama wasn’t born in the USA. What do you want us to do now? Hmmmmm?
I believe that when the Radiocarbon dating and Atomic Absorption Spectrophotometry test are completed, we will indeed discover that this birth certificate was bought on Ebay.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: OH MY GOD IT’S A MORAN AND IT WANTS TO SAY HELLO! HI NIRTH BIRFER!
You know who I really feel bad for? The various anonymous little clerks working the switchboard at the Coast Provincial General Hospital or Mombasa City Hall who went to work this morning blithely unprepared for a tsunami of phone calls from spittle-flecked lunatics across the ocean.
*cough* OfCourseImRight *cough*
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Isn’t COLB a delicious AMERICAN cheese?
But it has a RAISE SEAL SHEEPLE!!1! NOOOOOOBAMAMA!!
YEEEESSSS!!!! As someone who works amongst the immigrants, let me ask ‘what the hell has taken you so long?’ None of my clients would have dilly dallied around THIS long to produce a doc you can buy for $50 (a zillion shillings) in Nairobi. C’mon birthers, is this all you’ve got? Huh? Huh???
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
Hmmm, decent use of spelling, sentence structure & appropriate capital letters. You, sir, are the obvious fraud! J’accuse!
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: and where were you born? and how do you know? and how can you prove it? was it between your mother’s thighs? are you certain?
It’s signed with an African name…. OJ.
We really need to get rid of the First Amendment in this country, so someone can legally crack down on these nuts and they will STFU.
[i][re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “If you’re asking, why would someone spend so much ($1M +) to cover up the truth”[/i]
Since Obama has not spent 1 million+ dollars defending the nuisance lawsuits, could you clarify what you are going on about?
I got a kick out of Ms. Taitz “calling for” Secretary of State Clinton to drop whatever the heck she says she’s working on and investigate this immediately!
Apparently correspondence law school didn’t cover “discovery.” How your side is supposed to do your part – and you can’t expect the other side to do it for you? Particularly since your “case” has already been tossed out of court.
If you want to go through life “calling for” something, become a grade school teacher…
Dang! It’s true. You really can find anything on eBay!
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Wait… so you’re saying that a public official would not authenticate a picture of a legal document?
That’s OUTRAGEOUS!!!!1!1!!1
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “What flavor was the Kool-Aid that you drank?”
It’s an orgasmically delicious, creamy smooth milk chocolate, just like President Obama.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Why do you hate black people so much?
THIS IS COMPLETE FABRICATION BY NONE OTHER THAN THE QUEEN OF HAWAII. i ASK OU WHY WOULD THE QUEEN OF HAWAII CHOOSE A KENYAN IVY LEAGUE TOFF TO DO HER BIDDING. ANSWER, NO REASON. BARRAK OBAMA IS WORSE THAN KENYAN HE IS HAWAIIN. SEE WIKIPIDEA HAWAII IS MONARCHY NOT STATE.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: So, if this is a fake then his place of birth still remains a mystery.
I guess it’ll just be one of those things we never know the answer to, like whether Adam had a bellybutton, where the Ark ended up, and whether Dick Cheney can drink a glass of water while Dubya is talking.
My birth certificate was signed by I.P. Freely.
[re=377061]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Now Reagan is risen from the grave and becomes our first half-Zombie, half-Vampire president.
[re=377076]Atheist Nun[/re]: And it’s so big that it almost hurts, taking it all in.
[re=377019]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: “Hey, you got peanut butter on my balls! Hey, you got balls on my peanut butter!”
[re=377073]Tundra Grifter[/re]: Of course something like this would be handled by “The Department of Law”.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Hmmmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
[re=377082]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: And I want to drink it over and over again, all night long, eat a snack, then drink some more…
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: One million dollars is nothing. Ten seconds of the Pentagon’s budget. An insignificant speck of the federal money.
And the Kool-Aid tastes…like victory.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I can’t stop laughing from the point of “So, if this is a fake…”
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: HENNGNGH?
Undoubtedly from the same Kinko’s where Ms. Taints earned her “law degree”.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: You might be a reasonable person so I’ll beg this question of you — can you *please* provide me with some sort of link that proves Obama has spent anywhere near 1M on legal defense of this issue. I really am interested in this as it is a claim mentioned by birthers universally on nearly every forum but never backed up a link to the source material. Considering that all of the birth certificate lawsuits have been dismissed and the supreme court refused to add it to the docket I’m having trouble coming up with a plausible reason why he would have spent “1M” on anything legal related.
Please, I really want to know the source for the 1M claim, if you have one please share it.
It looks like it’d make good toilet paper with a lot of crinkling.
[re=377089]Atheist Nun[/re]: Don’t stop there. What else would you do with that tasty beverage?
[re=377099]TGY[/re]: With a smashed booger in the “mother” field. This was clearly made by a prankster with deep seated hatred against white women.
[re=377032]Don Juanquete[/re]: NICE SInclair Lewis reference!
Holy crap my brain hurts from this nonsense. WTFOMGBBQROFLCOPTER is wrong with these people? As so many have noted, do they actually think the GOP gets to play President if Obama were to be unable to fulfill his duties as President for any reason?
Also Orly looks more like an unconvincing crossdresser than Coulter. That is all.
That’s Dr. Mrs. Orly Taitz III Her Royal Highness (R-Crazyland) to you!
I sure hope every live barfer has a “long form” barfcificate. What the hell is that anyhow? All I’ve got is a white on black photostat 1950 COLB, as they are called in official idioteze. From Africa’s Dairyland. And it isn’t on no damned “micro fish” as one of the geniuses at WorldDailyNut claimed.
There’s a job I wouldn’t want, cataloging micro fish all day…
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: You’re right: the facts are on your side. The only thing we can hope for is that the majority of the country continues to drink the Kool-Aid pumped by TOTUS.
Oh, and he’s a magic nigra, or some such.
Has anybody mentioned yet that Kenya also spells Ken ya!
[re=377089]Atheist Nun[/re]: And even though you know that continuing will leave you sore, throat aching, the thirst is so unsatiable, so unquenchable, that you just keep going back for more. When you are filled to almost overflowing, you start to wonder, is this too much?
[re=377068]slappypaddy[/re]:
I know where and when I was born because I can produce, at any time, a valid Birth Certificate from St. Joseph’s Hospital in New Jersey. Before you start with the Jersey comments, we escaped from NJ when I was but two years old so I’ve never own a Camaro or listened to Bruce Springsteen – thank God.
I produced that document to get into schools, organizations among others… In fact, that ACTUAL Birth Certificate was authentic enough that the US Gov’t granted me a Top Secret CLEARANCE for my job. Okay, since I used the word, I should define it since my audience is mostly looking-for-handouts Libs. A job may be defined as a regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one’s trade or occupation. Let’s progress.
Okay, that wasn’t nice but since most of you only know how to insult, I thought I’d lob one in their direction.
QUESTION: Have any of you seen a validated Birth Certificate from Barry Soetoro?
ANSWER: I didn’t think so. So, you’re going on blind faith then. Well, blind faith isn’t good enough to meet the requirements of the US Constitution when assuming the position of POTUS.
My point is this, why be so closed-minded when it comes to someone who is afraid/ashamed to tell the truth? Don’t you find it odd in the least?
Can a wonketeer to create a better forgery? Yes, we can! (added for maximum winger whiplash).
I donate 400 whore diamonds as a prize!
Wake Up Sheeple and listen to Oral Taint, The Russian-born She-Man for It speaks the Truth!
My favorite errors:
- Kenya was a Dominion the date this certificate was allegedly issued and would not become a republic for 8 months.
- Mombasa belonged to Zanzibar when Obama was born, not Kenya.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Not even Born in the USA when it was Reagan’s campaign theme? You shame the 40th president.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Don’t you get it? He was never born.
There is no “President Barack Obama” because there is no Barack Obama in reality . . . and no such thing as the “Presidency”.
The concepts of the modern “USA” and the “President” are entirely made up by the CIA, who invented the ideas in 1943, under orders from Hitler, who actually WON WORLD WAR II. Now do you understand??
Don’t listen to the sheeple, OfCourseImRight.
[re=377119]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: [re=377101]american mutt[/re]: Sometimes, I like to drink it on my Bungee Swing, until the creamy milk chocolate spews everywhere… then, glowing and completely satiated, I sneak out to the South Lawn to have a cigarette.
*source for that info: daily kos
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Except they did certify that Obama was born in Hawaii. Even McPaper says so http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-07-27-obama-hawaii_N.htm
All the Republicans in congress have now approved by vote that Obama was born in Hawaii.
Oh and since Obama’s mama is an American citizen, he could have been born anywhere and still been a natural born citizen.
So spoof on.
And Bruce Springsteen is the best thing from New Jersey other than Jon Stewart.
You can NOT produce a document more valid than Hawaii’s certificate of live birth. That is a birth certificate. This long form stuff is just not true. You produced the NJ version of the same document. No different really. If you produced a certificate for dead birth though I would be really impressed.
I’d be really really impressed if you found a birth certificate for Barry Soetoro. His mama didn’t even know Soetoro when Barack was born. Silly birther logic
Poe?
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Long-winded troll is long-winded.
[re=377127]ms_mcgee[/re]: Um a certified copy from 1964 would use the new name for the country. They wouldn’t use the old name. So like that doesn’t mean anything.
Wheelie…don’t bogart.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: And I suppose Barry’s mom planted those birth announcements in the 1961, while she was recovering from giving birth in freaking “Africa”, on the off chance that her kid would want to be President one day. You are a retard. Go back to your “job” of spreading feces all over the Internets.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: do you mean that you know where and when you were born because you have a document that tells you so, grasshopper? or do you mean that you are able to read that document and choose an interpretation of its contents that is both pleasing and useful to you?
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “I know where and when I was born because I can produce, at any time, a valid Birth Certificate from St. Joseph’s Hospital in New Jersey.”
“At any time”? Then produce it, right now, by scanning it in and posting the image here. Please include your SSN and bank account numbers so our Nigerian account representatives can verify that you are a true ‘Merican.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I see. You won’t accept a document produced by the official state government of Hawaii, confirmed by the republican Governor and the head of the Department of Health, accepted by the State Department and the FEC, but you’ll accept one from KGB sleeper agent O RLY? Taintz, that she bought off of Ebay.
Be sure to wipe the drool off of your keyboard before it shorts out and gives you a nasty shock.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I kept saying to Barry “so Barry” I says “we is old friends. Just show it to me, just so I’ll know you is for real,” but, dang if he woon’t show it to me. So maybe you got somepin’ there OfCourse cusin you talk all refind and all.
[re=377009]Snarkalicious[/re]: Ha Ha. I once had a Lutheran minister client named Lxxxxx Lavender. He had the black. And I know a designer with the last name of Lavender, first name Lxxx. She carries the black gene also. Your science is debunked.
Orly Taitz, in her own words. So eloquent: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/32274609#32274609
MY NAME IS BARRISTER E.F. LAVENDER, AND I AM A FORMER REGISTRAR OF BIRTHS IN COAST PROVINCE, REPUBLIC OF KENYA. RECENTLY, AN ASSOCIATES OF MINE APPROACHED ME WITH INTEREST IN BRINGING TO YOUR COUNTRY A CERTIFICATION THAT YOUR PRESIDENT, MR. BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, II, WAS BORN IN MY NATION. AS THE FORMER REGISTRAR OF BIRTHS, I HAVE UNPRECEDENTED ACCESS TO THIS AND OTHER DATA WHICH SHALL SHOW THE WORLD THAT YOUR PRESIDENT IS A FRAUD. IN ORDER TO FACILITATE THE TRANSFER OF THIS VITAL INFORMATION, CERTAIN ELEMENTS WITHIN THE UNITED STATES HAVE AGREED TO PAY AN ASSISTANCE FEE OF TEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($10,000,000.00) WILL BE PAID TO MY ASSOCIATES. I AM , NATURALLY, WILLING TO PAY YOU A FINDER’S FEE OF TEN PERCENT (%10) OF THIS AMOUNT.
IN ORDER TO FACILITATE THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE BE KIND ENOUGH TO PROVIDE ME WITH THE NAME OF THE BANK WHERE YOU WISH THIS FEE DEPOSITED, AS WELL AS THE ROUTING NUMBER, SWIFT NUMBER, AND ACCOUNT NUMBER. AS WELL AS YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER AND FAX NUMBER.
UPON MY RECEIPT OF THIS INFORMATION, I SHALL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU TO DISCUSS FURTHER STEPS TO TAKE TO SECURE THE SECRETION OF THIS DATA INTO YOUR COUNTRY.
BE ASSURED THAT THIS TRANSACTION SHALL BE UNDERTAKEN WITH THE UTMOST OF CAUTION AND CONFIDENTIALITY.
AWIATING YOUR MOST URGENT REPLY. DO NOT FAIL TO INCLUDE YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS FOR THE SWIFTEST REPLY POSSIBLE.
FAITHFULLY YOURS,
BARRISTER E.F. LAVENDER
e_f_lavender@yahoo.co.uk
http://imgur.com/CGpkV.png
case closed
[re=377027]V572625694[/re]: No no, much more delish…the election would be invalid, so we have no legitimate executive or a vice-executive to fall back on. Thefore, let’s all have a warm welcome for MADAME PRESIDENT NANCY PELOSI!!!! YYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Tough shit, doucheballs. We won.
I tried talking sense into a birfer once, but i found it as difficult as convincing my cat to not eat its own shit.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I just happened to order a Certificate of Birth from NY. It shows my date of birth, borough, name, date filed, certificate number, date issued, name, sex, father’s name, mother’s maiden name, and city registrar’s signature. It’s on fancy paper. No other identifying info. No hospital name, no race, no address.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: It took Dem operatives $1M (=eleventy hundred billion ameros) to bribe her, and put a gun to her head, but finally were able to extract this :
“I, Dr. Chiyome Fukino, director of the Hawaii State Department of Health, have seen the original vital records maintained on file by the Hawaii State Department of Health verifying Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii and is a natural-born American citizen. I have nothing further to add to this statement or my original statement issued in October 2008 over eight months ago….”
So, OfCourseYouReWrong, I suggest you make Dr. Fukino a better offer or STFU and show some patriotism by not distracting the grownups (and the attention-deficited) in government so they can focus on doing something good for the country.
@[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Sooooooo, the public information officer for the Hawaii Department of Health is what? – apart of the Trilateral Commission?? Puh-lease!
@Everyone Else: Our Master’s plans to create a slave society and one-world government continues apace. Hope to see everyone at the Black Order meet and greet Thursday. Look out for the email.
[re=377157]Heywood Floyd[/re]: shucks. you spoiled all our fun.
[re=377155]Gopherit[/re]: Jesus H., why did you make me watch that?
THIS CALLS FOR A BIGFOOT BLINGEE
http://imgur.com/uoGVm.jpg
Zenferret,
Unfortunately, the COLB is a fake. A forgery. A fraud. Another act of deceit brought to you by the administration – Chicago’s 51st Precinct – that has truly refined the art.
And about that vote that you speak of? Rep. Neil Abercrombie, D-Hawaii, sponsored a resolution commemorating the 50th anniversary of Hawaii’s statehood was first postponed when it was noted the resolution included the following clause: “Whereas the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961.” Some apparently saw the resolution as a veiled attempt to get Congress to affirm Obama’s U.S. birth. Abercrombie’s office had already issued a statement today announcing the House’s unanimous approval of Abercrombie’s resolution when Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minnesota, rose to object to the vote, saying there was not a quorum present.
So why then is Barry’s primary school (age 5 or 6) application listed as Soetoro? Obama’s registration in Indonesia under the name “Barry Soetoro” also raises questions as to whether he adopted that name in the U.S. at any time. According to Illinois state filings, when Obama registered as an attorney in 1991, under the name Barack Obama, he stated he did not have any former names.
Oh, one more thing… Obama is not a ‘natural born citizen’ because his father was a Kenyan national and a British subject. To be a natural born citizen, a person’s parents must BOTH be citizens of the United States of America. Further, that person must be born in the United States.
Silly closed mind.
[re=377053]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
“If this is a fake then his place of birth still remains a mystery.”
No mystery. On July 8, 1947, a group of military secret operatives recovered an enormous egg from the wreckage of a giant flying disc near Roswell, New Mexico. To protect their secret discovery, they sunk the egg in a remote lake in the Scottish Highlands, Loch Ness. The egg was incubated in Loch Ness by a mysterious creature who inhabited the lake until the egg hatched in August of 1961. The alien baby swam to the surface where it was swept up by a herd of magic unicorns flying over head. The unicorns loved their little Loch Ness alien baby, and they named him Barack Hussein Obama. The unicorns soon realized they could not properly raise an alien Loch Ness baby. They needed to find humans to take care of him. The unicorns circled the globe for over two years trying to find a peaceful place where humans would find the Loch Ness alien baby and care for him. In November of 1963, they found a lovely grassy knoll in Dealy Plaza in the City of Dallas, TX. During its investigation of the Kennedy Assissination, the Warren Commission stumbled upon the Lock Ness alien baby hiding in some wild arugula plants. The baby was seized by the CIA and shipped off to Cuba where it was secretly raised and indoctrinated by Fidel Castro and Ted Kennedy.
When you have a bad case of the crazy, there’s no need to drink the Kool-Aid.
[re=377027]V572625694[/re]: Joe being president would make the birthers happier, since at least he’s white.
[re=377058]digibal235[/re]: because it’s RED?!?!?
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Dude. Take your meds.
Please, Miss Wonkett — GET YER FAX STRAIT
She is a lawyer-dentist-hairdresser
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
Oh come on, asshole, anyone with “Top Secret CLEARANCE” would be too intelligent to come into the comments of a satirical blog and attempt to argue “facts” with people who laugh at his every word. Oh look, an anonymous poster claims he’s a “US-Gov’t” trained super-secret spook! On the CIA’s Wonkette detail!
PRODUCE YOUR GOV’T ID, BIRTH CERTIFICATE, SS# & DRIVER’S LICENSE, as well as 3 gov’t references, IN THESE COMMENTS, with a RAISED NOTARY SEAL, or go fuck yourself.
Take that shit to HuffPo, there are plenty of naive libs there who will play with you.
[re=377138]zenferret[/re]: But Bruce Springsteen’s most famous album is “Born In the USA” — so does that mean he’s part of the conspiracy too?
“To be a natural born citizen, a person’s parents must BOTH be citizens of the United States of America. Further, that person must be born in the United States.”
Uh, no, moron. Those are all ORs, not ANDs.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: So how does Vince Foster fit in all this?
Is gawker down for anyone else?
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “My point is this, why be so closed-minded when it comes to someone who is afraid/ashamed to tell the truth? Don’t you find it odd in the least?”
Why aren’t we more open minded to people who have something to hide? HENGH!?!??!
Keep using you TOP SECRET CLEARANCE in your J-O-B.
I will keep STONE COLD ABORTIN’ BABIES and sucking off of WELFARE.
Also, the president is a nigra. And such.
[re=377154]bitchincamaro[/re]: You’re right…thos with teh Blax plague do use an awful lot of x’s in their names. I am defeated.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Here you go. You really should get treatment for your “little problem” before you enter into the next stage: Believing that the Apollo Moon Landing was a hoax.
[re=377182]desertwind[/re]: I thought waitress w/ those shiny pink collars.
OfCourseImRight: Silly birfer…didn’t you know the constitution says nothing about BOTH parents being citizens…
Didn’t you also know that Chester A. Arthur’s (Arfur) father wasn’t a citizen at his brith? O noes! Can we impeach Arfur before he makes us all Irish and Catholic?
[re=377168]problemwithcaring[/re]: For the last time, I have my Pilates thing on Thursdays. Doesn’t anyone in the New Black Order read my twitters on this??
[re=377156]President Beeblebrox[/re]: [re=377157]Heywood Floyd[/re]: Nice!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/39639/saturday-night-live-update-thursday-mccain-lady
[re=377172]chauncey[/re]: Well done.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: how do you know where and when you were born, grasshopper? you have a piece of paper you choose to believe, and others who have power to reward or punish you also choose to believe it when it is convenient for them to do so, but how do you know where and when you were born?
[re=377131]Atheist Nun[/re]: [re=377119]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Wow. Hopey fanfic ftw.
I just saw Orly Taitz on msnbc and I’m convinced she’s actually acting out some kind of meta-satire. The wig! The accent! This is just like Borat.
[re=377187]El Pinche[/re]: Nice and easy with a little Astroglide.
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/198294.php
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Ok, wonketteers , we have to tell this bozo the truth, for the sake of the GOP and Conservative movement. I can’t stand this flailing stupidity no longer.
It’s a all giant setup to destroy the Republican’s credibility and ultimately the Republican Party and America. Orally Taintz works for the Obama administration. She’s a Russian national (probably an illegal), former USSR communist, and former KGB agent working with the Left to topple the US into a miserable Socialist existence. It’s easy for Taitz, being a commie, to support the cause.
I’m sorry guys, I had to tell the Truth.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Fuck you and the German Shephard handling, truncheon-wielding, southern racist sheriff you rode in on.
[re=377119]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I almost lost my shit at my desk just now. Thank you. You and Atheist Nun are writing out my biggest fantasy.
Continue. Please. PLEASE! Don’t stop! I could do this all night! You’re SO good! Yes! You’re making my toes curl and my stomach feels fluttery. Please don’t stop! Give me more. As much as you think I can handle!
“So why then is Barry’s primary school (age 5 or 6) application listed as Soetoro? Obama’s registration in Indonesia under the name “Barry Soetoro” also raises questions as to whether he adopted that name in the U.S. at any time. According to Illinois state filings, when Obama registered as an attorney in 1991, under the name Barack Obama, he stated he did not have any former names.”
Wow, you mean all those t-shirts and tote bags and buttons I spent money on (from my JOB) last summer and fall had the wrong fucking name on them? You just ruined my whole day, asshole.
[re=377204]E.F. Lavender[/re]: Taitz and Victoria Jackson (if you seen that crazy bash lately).
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
Heh. Top Secret, eh? Did they give you the launch codes? No? Wonder why they gave them to Obama, he being a furriner and all…
[re=377013]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: That made me snort, as the thought of the oily discharge in the white linen pants of the unnaturally skinny always makes me laugh.
[re=377154]bitchincamaro[/re]: Those black people and their crazy first names.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: don’t skip off just yet, grasshopper. come back, sit down here beside me. you haven’t answered my question. how do you know when and where you were born?
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Aw he talked to me. Said nothing intelligent but he talked to me! Me! Yay!!!!
Not a forgery no matter how many times you say it.
Either parent being US born citizen with ten years of residency int he US is enough.
Both counts too.
Else John McCain would not be a citizen.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: http://www.urban75.org/info/conspiraloons.html
Look closely. You’ve exhibited at least 8 of the 10. It isn’t too late to get help.
Oh and I had a step daughter who sometimes used my name even though I never adopted her. It was just easier.
I can’t believe… actually, I CAN believe how childish you Libs, er…Communists are. Why is it that you can’t hold a discussion without accusing me of being a racist, or ‘doucheballs’ or ‘take your meds’ or ‘go fuck yourself’ or ‘moron’ or… you get it? Small minds, is that the problem?
And you all should believe that I hold a TS CLEARANCE because I said so. And that seems to be good enough for you at any level.
Remember kids, your hope for change will be smashed by your trust in government.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: haha. you work for the feds, and you talk about handouts. Stop suckling on the gov’t teat, ya Socialist.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Cause you are a moron.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I know some really stupid people who have TS clearance too.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: [re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Sir, I was born in Hawaii, and the Obama COLB looks exactly like mine. Now what?
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Trolly McTrollerson trolls trollishly.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “My point is this, why be so closed-minded when it comes to someone who is afraid/ashamed to tell the truth? Don’t you find it odd in the least?”
Yes, I do find it odd. Especially when they insult everyone then wonders why no one really buys their many-times-over debunked nonsense.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: What evidence do you have that the COLB is a fake? You are making specific allegations about the conduct of multiple persons in Hawaii’s state government, so I would like specific (as in admissible in court) evidence.
Also, having a mind that is open to whatever bullshit is poured into it is simply nothing to be proud of. If you truly had an open mind, I think you’d be better able to accept the election of a man who is moderately liberal and black. Your closed mind seems to have trouble with that.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: you haven’t answered my question, grasshopper. how do you know where and when you were born?
And further Hah, there was another purported real Kenya birth certificate that included this in the metadata:
“NOTICE: This image is a work of parody and political commentary. It is not a genuine government document. Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. A certified copy of his birth record is freely available online. If you thought this was Obama’s real birth certificate, a “smoking gun” proving he’s not a natural-born citizen, then congratulations. You are an idiot. I made this from scratch. It is completely fake, and no document from Kenya or the United Kingdom resembles it.Obama’s president, and will be for the next 3 1/2 to 7 1/2 years. Get used to it.”
(from http://nativeborncitizen.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/third-obama-birth-certificate-appears-in-court/)
HEY I HAVE A NEW CONTEST FOR EVERYONE RELOAD WONKETTE DOT COM
Who is the troll, and do you want to keep it?
Just 3 and a half more years of the bull shit.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I believe you hold a TS CLEARANCE, if TS stands for Total Shit.
“Because I said so,” indeed.
[re=377223]slappypaddy[/re]:
I have live witnesses, both family and staff and a legal document that states that.
Unlike Barry’s mother (http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/dunham.asp) my mother is still alive and well.
But thanks for asking.
And Zenferret… John McCain wasn’t fit to be president on any level – legal, mental or spiritual.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Also, I was born in a military hospital, so if you claim mine is a fake, too, you’re calling Ronald Reagan a liar. Tread lightly.
[re=377204]E.F. Lavender[/re]: She’s a Mossad agent… They liked Dubya’s “subtle” diplomacy with the muslin world much better than this Hussein character and his “engagement”.
[re=377233]SeminoleInDior[/re]: Another socialist! You’re probably a Kenyan Manchurian candidate too, aren’t you? Admit it!
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “And you all should believe that I hold a TS CLEARANCE because I said so”
Oh, the irony. Along with calling us “Communists” while accusing us of being immature name-callers. All right, confess; this is obviously a parody, which of you is it?
[re=377245]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “I have live witnesses, both family and staff and a legal document that states that.”
The witnesses are all liars and the document is a fake. Disprove that.
[re=377245]OfCourseImRight[/re]: John McCain wasn’t fit to be president on any level – legal, mental or spiritual.
Is that you Steve Schmidt?
[re=377245]OfCourseImRight[/re]: hahahaha! Barry had her killed for his ambition, did he? That sly fox.
You sure you have a mother?
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “In fact, that ACTUAL Birth Certificate was authentic enough that the US Gov’t granted me a Top Secret CLEARANCE for my job.”
Hey, a Top Secret Security CLEARANCE? You’re right, that IS pretty decent evidence that your BC is legit. Why, I bet the only person who has a HIGHER security is the President!
“And that seems to be good enough for you at any level.”
Well, you also said the “COLB” is fake, and we don’t believe THAT, so…no, it doesn’t seem to be enough.
[re=377245]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Unlike Barry’s mother (http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/dunham.asp) my mother is still alive and well.
Oh noez! You mean that uppity darkie killed his own mother, too? Did he eat her brains, like that woman in Texas? When will this nightmare of negritude end?
By the way, my taitz have been looking pretty orly lately. What’s your expert advice?
I figured it out.
There were multiple Barack Hussein Obamas, born in multiple locations, at the same time. In three years, these Obamas will pilot giant robots to defend the world against an invasion of strange, alien creatures.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: COCKS!!!! HA!!!!!
Bottomsies.
[re=377242]Jim Newell[/re]: But, Newell, it’s FUN! Ban him tonight after I go to bed.
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Long-winded troll indeed. You are now officially boring. And not funny. But you are a retarded cum dumpster racist pig-fucker. Call Hopey the N word before your mom gets home or STFU, Mr. Super Top Secret Govt Spy.
[re=377258]problemwithcaring[/re]: Is that you Steve Schmidt?
Actually, I think he was quoting Roberta McCain.
[re=377252]JMP[/re]:
If it talks like a Communist, and walks like a Communist, then…
I can’t help you with your political preferences. I wasn’t insulting you. If you feel insulted, then you backed the wrong person. My apologies, JMP.
Dirk:
I’m not seeking the POTUS office so I needn’t prove anything. That’s my point. I don’t care where you were born or all of your other cronies, I care about the letter of the Constitution and how it’s being destroyed with each passing day.
[re=377269]SomeNYGuy[/re]: There is no such person. Prove otherwise.
.[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Hahaha..you fucking whacko.
Wait, it’s not all-caps, but it still could be shortsx3. Is that you shorts? The gig is up.
[re=377276]OfCourseImRight[/re]: So to make sure I have this straight… The Constitution was fine with us torturing, entering wars without congressional approval, eavesdropping on our own citizens without a search warrant, and assassinating people, but it’s being destroyed because no one has personally handed you an original birth certificate for Barack Obama? Just so we’re clear…
[re=377245]OfCourseImRight[/re]: you say that you have live witnesses. they tell you a tale you choose to believe. you may have no reason to believe they are lying or mistaken. you say also that you have a piece of paper, a legal document. it likewise tells you a tale you choose to believe. you likewise may have no reason to believe its tale is a fabrication or an error. do these tales give you belief, or do they give you knowledge? what is the difference between belief and knowledge? is there one sort of difference or similarity between the two at a surface level, and another sort of difference or similarity between the two at a deeper level? grasshopper, how do you know where and when you were born? are you certain you know this? are you certain you believe it? what value to you is this certainty? what value might it be to you to be uncertain about this?
[re=377276]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
Oh, and how would you know what a communist walks like, FELLOW TRAVELER?
[re=377276]OfCourseImRight[/re]: I believe I called bottomsies. Good day to you, sir.
hobospacejunkie you are a retarded cum dumpster racist pig-fucker. Call Hopey the N word before your mom gets home or STFU, Mr. Super Top Secret Govt Spy.
Hobo? Firstly, is that your name or profession? I wouldn’t want to insult anyone. I believe that you’ve wandered outside your mental comfort zone. Please return to your Xbox, it misses you.
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
“…the US Gov’t granted me a Top Secret CLEARANCE for my job…HURR DURR DURR… And you all should believe that I hold a TS CLEARANCE because I said so…HURR DURR DURR… etc.”
OK, I think I’ve figured out the subhuman, inept “logic” here… We’re supposed to believe this gullible caveman because: He’s a random anonymous ‘tard who posted something on the internet, bitching about something else that some other anonymous ‘tard posted on the internet about a document that some other anonymous ‘tard bought off of the internet, but we shouldn’t believe any local or national government officials regarding an official paper trail, because the government is bad, m’kay, because that’s what his toothless pappy taught him, and because he “says so.”
It’s all getting so complicated! In the old days, someone would try to hand you a Jack T. Chick tract and you’d simply cross the street to get away from him, it was all so easy then…. sigh
[re=377242]Jim Newell[/re]: Oh, fuck, no, please, no, for the love of all that is alcoholic… no.
[re=377276]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Please provide evidence for your claims: Obama has spent $1m on the matter, the Chicago 51st precinct forged the Hawaiian birth certificate, and, you are not a nutjob. If you are a federal employee, have you, by any chance, spent time (today, for instance) spreading the birther gospel on the government dime?
Here at the New Wonkette Order, we trace all computers, and report all those who don’t think like us. Expect a visit from the Obama SS tomorrow.
They are just having an in house contest to see who can get the most replies on their story, and they know how to get the Wonketters all in a slather. Good one, you had us on.
[re=377276]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Still waiting. What specific evidence do you have that Barry’s COLB is fake? I want something that will stand up in court or STFU.
“I care about the letter of the Constitution and how it’s being destroyed with each passing day.” And did you object to Bush II’s continual shredding of the Constitution, or did you just hijack the left’s language now that a Democrat with dark skin is President?
[re=377227]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Hahahahhahahahahah. Arguing against ad hominem attacks w/ ad hominem attacks.
What I really hate is that they always try to drag Indonesia into it, as though the fact that he had a well-traveled and diversely cultured upbringing is somehow BAD!! Here is the test question to pick the people you befriend at work (you know, when you start a new job or something and have to decide quickly which are the ones you’ll actually talk to, and which are the ones you don’t want to start talking to because they will suck out your soul): “So Obama went to a Muslim school in Indonesia — what do you think of that?”
A person you talk to: “That’s cool. He’s probably an open-minded guy willing to learn about other cultures.” or “He’s lucky to have had such unique and interesting experiences growing up.”
A person you stay the hell away from: “It’s scary. He’s probably a terrorist.” or “I know — isn’t that freaky?” or “I voted for Nader.”
Grendel – Exactly!!! All of that is being done as we speak but not by someone who qualifies for POTUS.
I’m glad I finally got through to you. You’re all not so numb after all.
And for those of you who doubt my TS CLEARANCE, feel free to submit your location coordinates to me.
Goodnight all! You’ve all turned my brain from an efficient, synapse-firing work of perfection to a bowl or cold oatmeal. It’s no wonder the US is headed for disaster when I speak with the likes of you actual voters.
Orly Taitz, Michelle Bachman, Virginia Foxx, Jean Schmidt and Sarah Palin your starting 5 on the WNBA’s Batshit Loonies. Cmon Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, time to get off the crazy train. Your party has definetly jumped the shark.
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Run away, coward. Haven’t answered any questions or given any real evidence.
FYI, your brain is not a work of perfection, unless by perfection you mean narcissism. You can be effectively diagnosed with Narcissitic Personality Disorder just based on what you’ve shown us. Get help. And don’t forget to wash the Cheetos stains off your penis, you wanker.
What will it be? — a bowl OR cold oatmeal. I loves me some synaptic oatmeal. Before and after casting my commie votes.
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “Grendel – Exactly!!! All of that is being done as we speak but not by someone who qualifies for POTUS.”
So, it is OK for someone who is constitutionally qualified to be POTUS to violate any other aspect of the Constitution? That is conclusive proof that your brain was cold oatmeal before your first comment.
Oh, and continue to fuck yourself!
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Just give us the short form: you hate the guy because he’s a n*****. Dispense with the artifice.
[re=377242]Jim Newell[/re]: Reloaded. Ban the fucker. Then (assuming he/she/it has bred) ban his children and grandchildren. We can all take turns raping his dog.
oh fuck all this serious birther wingnut libtard obama nobama bullshit, some good old-fashioned rum-fueled buttseks would fill the bill right about now. how do i know this? ha! i don’t know shit, i’m a cat in a cardboard box, but i do believe, yes, i do believe. so i must be right. or left. also.
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Here’s the problem: you can’t have a TS Clearance. The federal government does not accept people with severe mental disabilities for high-security jobs.
Besides, prove it! Show us your security certificate! If you really have one, you would have released it by now; that the certificate of security, I’m talking about the super-special, ultra-real extra-verified certificate!
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: There’s a lot of snark and sarcasm on this site, but I appreciate you posting an opposing viewpoint with minimal insults and with correct grammar. But your position makes me sad. Here’s why: I remember 2004, when the results out of Ohio were a little fishy — election fraud? Though I was interested in (and angered by) rumors of vote suppression and in stupid statements made by public figures (Diebold CEO promising to ‘deliver Ohio for Bush?’), I had to let all that go. Nothing was provable, and to dwell on it would distract from the more important point: that I abhorred some of Team Bush’s policies.
I am a FERVENT Obama-ite — I even went to the convention in Denver and was one of the many flag-waving patriots lucky enough to be at Mile-High stadium for his speech. However, I certainly don’t agree with everything he does, and I would be heartbroken if my liberal cohorts fell in line and defended everything he did regardless of its wisdom (as I felt that my conservative friends did with Bush’s administration). The point is, your voice is important. Other viewpoints are important. While I trust Obama to make better decisions than Bush’s team did, I certainly wouldn’t want him to do it in a vacuum. By focusing on this extremely unlikely conspiracy, you’re actually devaluing the good contributions that the Right might bring to debates. You entreat us to be open-minded, yet you yourself seem not to have considered the fact that maybe, just maybe, this is a fantasy brought by a political base that feels disenfranchised and excluded from the current administration. Here’s a conspiracy theory for you: what if Obama just LOVES it when people bring this stuff up, because it makes the right-wing seem completely bonkers. My personal opinion was always that there might have been a hospital birth form somewhere, but it might have said something dated and horrible on it like ‘baby’s race: nigra’ or ‘baby’s parentage: bastard’ or something. However, it seems that this is the actual longest-form certificate that you can get from Hawaii, so I appear to be wrong about that.
I know, I know; don’t feed the trolls; and also this site is supposed to be funny, and I forgot to snark. But this is extremely heartfelt, so I hope my homies (and my political opposites) will take it that way.
201 Comments? I jumped on this train way to late. Have fun, kids.
[re=377327]natoslug[/re]: Leave his/her/their/its dog alone. The rest – whatever.
Everyone knows the real birth certificate is signed by Mr. Sparkle.
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “Goodnight all! You’ve all turned my brain from an efficient, synapse-firing work of perfection to a bowl or cold oatmeal.”
Just by asking you some questions? I mean, I know you couldn’t answer them, but sheesh, poor widdle guy needs someone to kiss his booboos…
[re=377295]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Did your TS clearance give you the right to say cum, on the internet?
[re=377336]mightysea[/re]: You just had to go and be reasonable, din’t you. Poo poo.
[re=377155]Gopherit[/re]: Worst Mrs. Doubtfire ever.
Wait. This birther troll has a transsexual clearance?!?
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
Well then, according to your moronic stance, every military brat born overseas is not a legal citizen of the United States.
Since Barack Hussein Obama was yanked from his American mother’s red, white, and blue crotch, he is an American citizen. Period.
I demand to see Trig Palin’s birth certificate. And I wish I could remember where I put mine.
Oh [re=377155]Gopherit[/re]: Thank you. Now I understand. I am convinced. Reason will prevail.
[re=377354]magic titty[/re]:
I got it! I got it! Bowl of cold oatmeal = cum dumpster. A-Ha! I busted his code! Top Secret my ass! More like Pop Secret.
Guys I have OfCourseImRight’s long form birth certificate, it says he was born out of Satan’s ass, which I assume means Alabama, making him a natural born citizen. I was going to try and get him impeached from the internets
Oh, fuck me, I missed a troll because I actually gave a shit about health care reform.
You people have scared that troll away and I will NEVER forgive you.
Wait a minute…. if my Certification of Live Birth (obtained after my original birth certificate was destroyed in a natural disaster) is not enough to prove that I am a US citizen, then I can simply produce it to the IRS next April1 5th and I won’t owe any taxes. HAHAHAHAHAAHAH, yeah, that’ll work.
Here:
http://upload.democraticunderground.com/img/09/bc_template.pdf
Make your own and keep sending to Titz. Keep the birther flame alive.
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Just so you know, being allowed to put $20s and larger in the floor safe at 7-11 is NOT top secret clearance.
Good luck getting the stains out of the slurpee machine.
I wish I could see Mr. Top Secret give his bullshit testimony to his supervisor/division officer when he’s presented with Exhibit A: the printout from the keyboard recorder installed on his computer.
I…I…I…
Yeah, just weighing in as someone with some experience here. I was born in Europe to an American father and an Italian mother. I moved to the US when I was 7 and have always been (because of my 1 American parent) a natural born citizen. I registered to vote at 18 and registered for college as citizen, etc. In fact I used to work in the US Senate and had to go through a comprehensive screening for that job. I have a certificate of citizenship, but no birth certificate that says I am an American citizen.
So I don’t get it, what is their argument that his mom also wasn’t a citizen? Am I trying to find logic where none exists? Forget it.
[re=377420]Servo[/re]: No one with TS talks about having TS. It’s really that simple.
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Does this mean I can’t get a security clearance, since as an adoptee my ‘official’ birth certificate doesn’t have a hospital or doctor’s name and I’m not allowed to get a copy that has one? Guess it’s a good thing I quit that government job years ago!
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight[/re]: No wonder the government was so fucked up during the Bush years.
[re=377167]dementor[/re]: [re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “So why then is Barry’s primary school (age 5 or 6) application listed as Soetoro?” …Crack!
“Oh, one more thing… Obama is not a ‘natural born citizen’ because his father was a Kenyan national and a British subject. To be a natural born citizen, a person’s parents must BOTH be citizens of the United States of America. Further, that person must be born in the United States.”…and it’s outa the park!
You nailed it ofcourseimright. There are no answers to these questions. The liberals are freaking out, because it’s slowly coming out that Obama-Hussein-Sotoro is the biggest fake since the eleventh amendment.
[re=377025]fromhils[/re]: I think she used the yellow-cake for her face make-up.
…and he motions to the bullpen to bring troll number 2 to the mound.
Do you think there’s a market for Birth Certificate rolling papers?
[re=377446]Barrelhse[/re]:
Chinese placemats. See if you were born in the Year of The Negro Terrorist.
Government officials who use vanity initials on official documents may well be rare, but they do exist.
At least in Australia.
[re=377415]El Pinche[/re]: wait, wait… yer template has the same weird text in the upper left corner as Orly’s real sertifikut:
“7s. 6d.”
Which means 7 shilling sixpence in the old pre-decimal UK currency system, which means it’s a JOKE, on Orly.
Apparently this was a popular amount to charge for crappy little broadsheets back in the day.
Someone is playing Orly hard.
FreeRepublic is claiming the REAL Kenyan Obama birth certificate WAS posted by now, mysteriously, it’s been altered to resemble a fake!!!
[re=377464]AxmxZ[/re]: So Lavender was the code name for all the KGB-backed Empire birth registry infiltrators? Anyway WTF are ‘vanity initials’?
Template for fake kenyan BC discovered by politijab.com member
see it here:
http://politijab.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=2099&start=0
Zen question…
How do you get a goose out of bottle?
You think it out of the bottle!!!
[re=377308]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
I am sitting in Bethel, Maine right now and still waiting for you to show any sort of proof of the “1M spent in legal defense” comment. Out of all the birther arguments that is the one that always gets my attention because so many birthers repeat it in so many forums yet I’ve never seen a single source for the claim.
Oddly enough I have a TS clearance from both the US and Canadian governments due to some work that I do that is tangentially related to biodefence related research. The TS clearance was mostly needed so that I could visit a couple of labs on both sides of the border.
Given that I have TS clearance from two national governments my patriotism and Honesty Quotient is clearly superior to yours.
What kind of loser only has TS clearance from one government?
[re=377472]President Beeblebrox[/re]: [re=377497]whackabirther[/re]: O wait, never mind. It’s a fake template based on a real Australian birth certificate, submitted as a fake, to spoof the birthers, or maybe to spoof everyone else.
I guess it cost seven shillings, sixpence to get a copy of one’s birth certificate back in the day. Or something like that.
[re=377081]thehelveticascenario[/re]: I think he’s more VAGIANT.
Perhaps it would have more credibility if it were signed by E.L. Fudge.
Maybe if we ignore him, he will go away.
[re=377336]mightysea[/re]: Oh, you had to go and get all rational and articulate. Thank you
[re=377505]kernelPanic[/re]: OT- I love Bethel. I have a place at Sunday River. I love finding real life people in Maine that also read Wonkette. Because, let’s face it. There are a lot of people in Maine with three toofs that will quite eagerly jump on the Orly Taitz.
[re=377505]kernelPanic[/re]: Me! I am the loser who only has one government TS clearance… And why I needed it, with only 2 months left in the Navy, is a mystery to me. I did have to show the investigator my birth certificate, or a notarized copy of something just like it… Which tells me that if President Obama was on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, he probably had to submit to at LEAST a TSC/SCI investigation… Which means he was cleared by the US intelligence services YEARS ago… So why can’t the birthers STFU already?
Who y’all callin a idiot? o…. wait.
The fact that Drudge won’t even give this ink speaks volumes on the legitimacy of this ‘Kenyan birth certificate” Who needed this so called copy in 1963? He was born in ’61 Couldn’t the forger find any forms to use from Kenya’s pre-republic days? What they really needed was a 1960′s era form from Zanzibar to make this match their whack story. Their photo is weird too. Why the low res and way-off-axis angle? Are they hiding something else?
[re=377229]Gopherit[/re]: What I’m mad about is that he has government sponsored health care.
I can’t tell … are there spears and monkeys on the Kenyan seal on the letterhead? Cause then it’s genuine FOR SURE.
[re=377549]idiot son of an asshole[/re]: Which tells me that if President Obama was on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, he probably had to submit to at LEAST a TSC/SCI investigation… Which means he was cleared by the US intelligence services YEARS ago… So why can’t the birthers STFU already?
___________
Seriously, not to mention… he had to apply to college, get a passport, get a DRIVERS LICENSE… you can’t get through fucking life without showing your birth certificate to a zillion people and agencies.
OH NOES1!!!! THEY WERE ALL IN ON IT!!!!11
From the planted birth announcements in the Hawaiian papers, to the brainwashing of the the current Hawaiian administration to perjure themselves… it’s been a set up from Day ONE! Osama Bin Laden is really Barry Soetoro’s father. This plot to destroy America has been in the works for decades! 9/11 was just a ruse so we would want strong Republican leadership, who would start a useless war and in turn drive the country into economic ruin, just in time for the Democrats to turn to the charismatic neo-fascist Obama as their candidate.
Jesus fucking Christ. Hello McFly??!!! Did Regan run his BC by you? Bush? Clinton? I never realized that the POTUS was required to flash his birth certificate to every American Citizen. Apparently these Birther Freaks feel the people responsible to make sure the last 43 presidents had a US birth certificate suddenly don’t exist anymore upon the election of Barack Obama?
Do you people realize how STOOPID YOU SOUND???
[re=377245]OfCourseImRight[/re]:
“I have live witnesses, both family and staff and a legal document that states that.”
Staff? Oh please, are you gonna use and abuse “Scooter” Libby again?
This is what is great about the birthers, they demand documentation, but have none for their arguments.
NYNYNY, please show me where it says both parents must be citizens for a child to be considered a natural born citizen. This isn’t true. And I’m still waiting on a source for the $1 million in legal fees.
It’s annoying if it wasn’t so stupid. You lost the election, get over it.
[re=377295]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Hobo? firstly, is that your name or profession?
Oh, ha, ha ha, HA HA HA HA HA!!1!5! Oh, man, you fucking burned me! Jesus pig-fucking christ I would’ve never picked this screen name if I knew such a righteous put down was coming my way. From a retarded racist kid-diddling birfer stooge. Where’s hiz nirf cernifikit, I’m thuper therial, you guys. Open your mind so Boily Taintz can take a dump in it. I did and I’m Thuper Top Thecret Gubbermint Spy wif Thuper Top Thecret kweerance. You totally haf to bereave me, neeples!!4!7!!.
Lemme make sure I’ve got this right:
According to the birthers, a government which is incapable of doing ANYTHING right has managed to pull off a conspiracy rivaled only by the Kennedy Assassination (which, let’s be honest gang, really is the gold standard of government conspiracies…we only wish we could get this kind of interagency cooperation with anything).
Basically a small, subversive group, led by a white anthropologist and her Kenyan paramour/husband had a kid in Kenya, but planted a birth announcement in BOTH of the local Hawaiian papers. Why this deception? So that one day their young-un, who they cleverly named Barrack Hussein (yeah, really smart, you couldn’t have just named him “Big Jim Slade or something) would one day wind up in Chicago.
With the cooperation of the Chicago political machine, they promoted the non-American (allowing him to get tromped Bobby Rush in a 2000 Congressional race along the way)…managing to propel him from the Illinois Senate all the way to the US Senate.
Then in 2007, with no national machine in place, no major donors, and against the Clinton brand managed to snare him the Democratic nomination and pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes with a surprising win in the 2008 Presidential election (in a year where a toaster could have beaten anything the Republicans put out there).
In the meantime, he’s managed to drift through life, without ever having to prove he was a US citizen (you know, for pesky shit like a drivers licenses, job applications, bar exam, social security number, classified briefings, etc.)
So, we’ve got a guy who’s managed to coordinate local-state and federal responses. Washington, Lincoln, Wilson, Roosevelt (either of them), nor Reagan was never able to pull that hat trick.
Sigh…Welcome Republicans…welcome to the lunatic fringe. The “9/11 was an inside job” crowd was getting lonely.
A real, breathing birfer on the comments, then [re=377308]it goes to bed[/re].
Aren’t these fanatics children of the night?
[re=377596]Carl Spakler[/re]: This is possible only with the cooperation of the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderberg Group, freemasons, the Illuminati, Industrial Light &O Magic, AND the Lizard People!
Truly, our Kenyan Overlord has us in his grip and will force us to have affordable medical care, safer financial transactions, and a chance to reverse climate change.
We’re doomed.
Dave Weigel is the Nate Silver of crappy shit.
[re=377025]fromhils[/re]: ouch.
[re=377276]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Hey. Hey, woah. I walk like a PORN STAR, thank you very much. What does a Communist walk like, though? Porn stars walk with legs slightly akimbo.
[re=377423]ummm…really?[/re]: Yeah, I’m not sure how that works. I think that the key is to ignore reality altogether, make shit up, and then claim that you are winning the argument because no one can argue with someone who screams “THATSNOTTRUETHATSNOTTRUETHATSNOTTRUETHATSNOTTRUETHATSNOTTRUE” to pretty much everything you say.
[re=377599]chascates[/re]: Don’t forget the mafia, the pope and Colonel Sanders with his wee-beady eyes.
Seriously (or a serious as one should be at this hour), you can’t get two people who sit a cubicle apart to ‘coordinate’ in the big G sometimes (i.e. ever). Suddenly the whole of government is really good at ‘this’?!?
Guess there’s a reason the national anthem begins with ‘O’
[re=377439]NYNYNY[/re]: Sotero. At least spell it right.
[re=377597]BMK[/re]: Part of the top-secret clearance agreement he signed means that he has to be in bed by 9PM PST. Le sigh. Or, as we commies say, “le sigh, comrade.”
[re=377612]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Soetoro. Dingbat.
[re=377439]NYNYNY[/re]: You’ve never watched baseball, have you? The second one’s not even true, 8 USC 1401 EXPLICITLY makes anyone born to one American citizen a “natural born citizen”…
OfCourseImRight: The quality of those holding TS clearances is slipping badly lately. When I got mine back in the day, one of the requirements was an ability to connect solidly to reality.
I think the feebs should ask for their clearance back.
On the other hand, we are all grasshoppers now.
Please, fellow Wonketeers, take these words of wisdom from the Ole’ Negro Spiritual to heart:
“Nobody loves me like my mama, & she may be jivin’ too”
[re=377173]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Hey- yo- you’re probably long gone and banned by now, but speaking as a US citizen born to one American parent and one foreign parent on foreign soil, you’re so full of shit it’s got to be pressing against your Adam’s apple by now. American citizenship is relatively easy to get by birth.
The section where the registrar signed is dated February 17th, 1964 and bears the seal of the Republic of Kenya. A cursory glimpse at Wikipedia’s “Kenya” page shows that the country was proclaimed a republic on December 12th, 1964 – 10 months after its seal appears on this certificate.
EPIC FAIL, BIRTHER FUCKS.
k,
1) TS clearances don’t necessarily mean shit. Being a natural born DCite (even with my terrorist communist muslim Chinese via Malaysian mother) I have run into several people with TS clearances (including my Republican father who works for the State Department) and having those clearances doesn’t mean you know ANYTHING. Why, you need a TS clearance just to be a mail clerk in some instances. My friend has a TS clearance and all he does is shred paper. He doesn’t exactly have the authority to speak on most subjects regarding the guvment.
2) How can you hate the government and work for them at the same time? How can you hate taxes when those taxes are what pays for your salary. Boggles. the. mind. I think we all know who the REAL communist is here.
3) If they can call us communists, when can we start calling them Nazis?
[re=377122]OfCourseImRight: A job may be defined as a regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one’s trade or occupation.[/re]
You need top secret clearance to blow Republican party officials??? I s’pose it’s for any pillow talk that occurs afterward, so yeah, I can see that.
And yes, you SCALDED us with your fiery wit!! We’re still hurting!!!!11
[re=377596]Carl Spakler[/re]: Thank you. I’ve also always wondered why this immensely clever and clandestine Cabal of Muslim Marxist Time Travelers named their Manchurian candidate “Barack Hussein Obama”, as if *that* wasn’t going to raise any suspicions in what passes for the minds of the good people of America’s Heartland.
Big Jim Slade. Sure.
Anything Washington or Jefferson. Sure.
Nobody would bat an eyelash.
How could these otherwise brilliant sinister architects of future reality have missed this point?
Oh, oops, comrades. Back to the drawing board, huh?
Heh heh, Big Jim Slade. I love the Kentucky Fried Movie.
[re=377242]Jim Newell[/re]: Can we flush it? Or will it hurt the plumbing?
[re=377738]amowls[/re]: Yep, my wife was a contract employee and needed TS clearance to catalog books of Fodor’s maps, and to use the bathroom. Not what I consider high-level intel…
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