Advertising Inquiries:
wonkette@blogads.com
Tip Your Wonkette:
tips@wonkette.com
Editors:
Ken Layne | Email
Jim Newell | Email
Sara K. Smith | Email
Juli Weiner | Email
Intern:
Riley Waggaman
Think Progress has a pretty good roundup of angry wingnuts attempting to harass their elected legislators to death over healthcare, but this clip is particularly entertaining. What is it with these creeps and the Pledge of Allegiance? (Answer: it is the only piece of “poetry” they know besides the dosage directions on their diabeetus meds.) [Think Progress]
12:51 PM
on Mon August 3 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
2133 Views
Wonkette
The new, random “Pledge Out of Nowhere” reminds of Wayne Newton in Las Vegas. At the end of his show, if he didn’t get a standing O for his encore he would start singing “God Bless America,” forcing his audience to stand.
Mmmm. More videos with back fat, please. Even the floppy t-shirts can’t conceal it.
This is a problem that attack dogs, tear gas, and rubber bullets would easily remedy.
Those schizophrenic hobos are remarkably organized.
I pledge allegiance to Sarah Palin
And the flag with the snake on it
Even though I don’t know why.
And to the Shining City on a Hill
That God gave us
When the Easter Bunny came out of the Ark.
One nation,
Jesus Jesus Jesus
And the rest of you atheists and Muslims
Go back to freakistan.
Amen.
They should read the health care bill aloud instead — what is it, 4,000 pp or some such?
Why am I reminded of the Illinois Nazi scene in the Blues Brothers when I see stuff like this? Someone needs to run them off the bridge.
I pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler!
Immortal leader of our race!
And to the order for which he stands!
One great cause, sacred and invincible…
ZOOM! Splash…
Do the birthers know that the anti-health care goons have stolen the Pledge from them? I personally favor the chant from the first ‘Meatballs’ movie — “It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter.” And for Mitch McConnell, “One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, one of us!”
My fat uncle attended teabagger party three weeks after he had double bypass surgery at the VA. Irony has never been his strong suit.
And just what is wrong with wearing bumper stickers on their foreheads? Mine says “Tommy Bartlett Water Show”
“Answer: it is the only piece of “poetry” they know besides the dosage directions on their diabeetus meds.)”
No doubt paid for by Medicare, which these tubby, pasty, dorky shorts wearing, crap sign making, Applebee-eating, ignorant and proud refuse of America thinks is a direct gift from Jesus or Ronald Reagan or something.
Airborne Toxic Event: I know. Lots of waddling.
Lawrence Ferlinghetti read the Pledge on the Last Waltz — can’t find the Youtube
lee hussein oswald: Ha! Wisconsin Dells references out of nowhere get me every time.
Shouldn’t they be in a government sanctioned “free speech cage/all you can eat buffet?”
Oh, NOM NOM NOM you fucksticks. These folks are the reason why Diprivan overdoses should be mandatory.
Does anybody remember LAUGHTER??!!
I just don’t understand how anyone can get that worked up over health care legislation. The Gays and Abortion I understand, but health care…?
This will be a fun August. Duly elected lawmakers will attempt discourse with the folks that elected them. Wingnutz will be bussed in from Wingnut districts to shout down and disrupt any of that Democratic nonsense. They need ti ID these assholes before they are allowed in to a rally.
Manos: Hands of Fate: And the hair-dos! Ye gods. Where are these people’s stylists?
To be fair, Deutschland Uber Alles IS a hard song to memorize
If only diabeetus meds came with self-tanner.
Hey, you have to hand it to them, they didn’t fuck it up. I’m almost impressed.
CrunchyKnee: You’re onto something- there’s got to be a link between this nuttiness and high-fructose corn syrup contaminating bodily fluids.
Teh moveez are blocked at work; would these people happen to be wearing brown shirts?
Country Club Jihadi: Hah! Socialist self-tanner, the next fauxrage..
4tehlulz: more like brown shoes with white socks.
Does Teabagger membership come with a minimum-weight requirement?
SayItWithWookies: All Wonketteres should recite that every morning. Genius.
Dear chubtard at 0:13–Good work. This is like the Bigfoot/Patterson film. Finally–EVIDENCE! Of a senator walking!
My guess is most of these people get their health care / income from the US government as former employees. With retirements after 20 years of service there is an army of these 40 plus mostly white people who got into the middle class by minimally graduating high school and getting a government job. Bush created giant new programs with airport screeners and other programs. Add in some people on social security and you can see that these are the new welfare queens.
The big picture is they are no longer affordable. The first big test, Postal Service bailout.
If Levine was willing to watch the auto industry collapse, why do you think he cares about those people? BTW, Does Michigan even want an auto industry?
freakishlystrong: TPM reports this is showing up in other locations. These people are kooks.
Now Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign
Your children have waited to see
The morning will come when the world is mine
Tomorrow belongs to me
The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes
The blossom embraces the bee
But soon says the whisper, arise, arise
Tomorrow belongs to me
Do they think it’s like reciting the Lord’s Prayer to a witch, or showing a cross to a vampire? Is reciting the Pledge going to make the evil unpatirotic Democrat shrivel into dust before their eyes?
“Look he *ran* away!! It PROVES he hates America!!”
They think they are being patriotic, but they are really just being petulant.
That’s how democracy works, kids– sometimes you are in power, sometimes you are out of power, but throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to help your cause at all.
President Beeblebrox: Also the moment in Cabaret when everybody has to stand and sing to the Nazis.
Tense moments of “with us or with the terrorists” self-righteousness. And who thought open green spaces were for freedom?
More like free dumbs.
I suspect these Ronstitutionalist Freedom Facsists really mean…
“I preach all itchins to da Fiat of the United Hates of Amurkkka
And to the Ronpublic for witch it Rands
One Nation, Under Ron
With Liberteabagarian Jugheads for all.”
smartypants: I meant Jeebus, you blaspheming harlot! (see previous post) Although Joe’s pretty cool too.
“Stop taking away my freedom to die from a pre-existing condition!!”
Like watching a herd of corn-fed feedlot cows trying to walk.
Good gravy boats. Does anyone worry that people visiting from other countries will soon not be able to recognize the inhabitants of the US as humans?
“I didn’t want to go to zee zoo, maman! What? Zis is not a zoo? Zose are pipple??
Anyone who asks why a French child would speak to her mother in English with a French accent.. ..look! Over there! A Kenyan birth certificate!
flyingspaghettimonster: “Do you still think you can control them?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs5bnVoZK4Q
Fortunately Levin always carries a large bag of doughnuts for the purpose of throwing at angry mobs like this while he makes his getaway.
frailamerica: This people are so pissed that they never got their way on gays or abortion, even when the government was run my Republicans. But, with the help of corporate America, they’re damn sure gonna get their way on health care. How come you never saw these freaks screeching and chanting at town halls to their congressman about gays or abortion? Corporations don’t care about gays or abortion, so these fools never had the moral support for that.
If I was Levin, I’d find the staff member who advertised my tee-time to these land whales, and lay a 5-iron across his backside, stat.
I’m going to show up at Waddles Sensenbrenner’s town-hall, with my dirty-sanchez mustache, & ask him about gov’t health-care — in Spanish.
I hope it kills him.
God, how these people remind me of our founding fathers.
Except they’re carrying Big Gulps instead of muskets.
As a type 1 diabetic, I have to protest this virulent anti-diabetite HATE CRIME perpetuated by Sara K. Smith. At least distinguish between the adult onsent diabetics, who are basically fat people who can’t stop eating the sugar, from those of us with real diabetes, which was caused by our pancreas trying to kill itself.
Breaking News: A dozen unemployed Birthers and teabaggers dead, after contracting swine flu at an anti-health care rally. They were uninsured.
watershed: “oes anybody remember LAUGHTER??!!”
I think that’s the biggest problem with these dickwads. Liberals get pissed off and outraged and use humor–wonkette and other intertube sites, and watch Stewart, et. al.
Wingers are too stupid to understand any humor above the level of Larry The Cable Guy so they have no outlet for their crazy rage, thereby maintaining their relentlessness.
That’s what gets me about these people. Sean O’Rushbeck winds them up and they keep going and going and going. Jesus, take a break, you morons.
And don’t you love the utube caption? “Levin flees Pledge”, not Levin gets the fuck away from crazy, fat, angry people yelling and chasing him. Should be:”Levin Acts As Any Sentient Being Would.”
CrunchyKnee: Your FS Cage and all you can eat Buffet is brilliant. Congressmen should start throwing Big Macs into groups of these crazies. The resulting food frenzy would distract them from their rage.
Tundra Grifter: Your explanation makes the most sense. Reciting the pledge, in the few remaining brain cells of the decrepit wingnuts pictured, should force the target to stop, face the flag and put his hand over his heart; not doing so, in their 2nd grade mentality, is unpatriotic. These are the people who will put their hands over their heads and hide under their desks in case of nuclear attack — and won’t be missed by many.
BMK: A scrumptious plate of irony there, would love it….
freakishlystrong: “They need ti ID these assholes before they are allowed in to a rally.”
A brief quiz testing sanity might be a better idea. Or just an ink blot test. If the see Rush’s fat ass, kick those nutcases out of there.
flyingspaghettimonster: Ooooh. Good call. I racked my brain trying to come up with a cute Nazi related song predominately featured in a Broadway musical and could only come up with Edelweiss.
DustBowlBlues: Don’t forget they have guns. Sadly, when the Revolution comes, the possession of razor sharp ironic wit will not do as well as the possession of a good semi-automatic rifle.
jimson: “Do they think it’s like reciting the Lord’s Prayer to a witch, or showing a cross to a vampire? ”
I’ve been told that saying “I believe in God the Father, his only Son, our Lord and the Holy Spirit” will do the same thing to Jehovah Witnesses. Someone gave me that advice to get the JW relatives off my ass.
Rather than Big Macs, whch would get expensive, maybe just handfuls of Fries and Twinkies falling around them might stop these people right in their tracks.
It’s awesome that come this time next year we won’t have to deal with these obnoxious old people since they will all killed by Obama and his pack of freelance abortionist assassins.
A wingnut behavioral thing I’ve noticed: when they say the pledge, they always place special emphasis on “under GOD!!!!!” as if saying it louder makes them more saintly. It’s kinda like here in Chicago, when they sing the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley, they change teh words to be, “…root, root, root for the CUB-BIES…” instead of “the home team” with “CUB-BIES” shouted instead of sung.
Hooray For Anything: You have a good point. The nutcases around here have lots of guns.
Philistines, each and every one of you!
A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of Les Grandes Bêtes is a masterful example of nopointillism that should rightfully be playing in a museum.
honkyman:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE_8WK3tBuE
sara_palin: Teh gays were scared off. No gays, no good hair. It’s all part of the Agenda.
Hooray For Anything: True, political comedy is not political action. (Hmmm, where have I heard that before…?)
Glennda of Beck has been whipping these mouth-breathers into a frenzy about the Health Care bill for past the month. Its time for New and Improved Soylent Green (with just a hint of teabagger).
Unlike these brave patriots, Michael Moore is fat.
Based on this video one must assume that athletes support national health care.
jimson: Or they could be thinking it’s the patriotic equivalent of “The power of Christ compels you” and if recited enough times, the evil unAmerican/Socialist demon will leave the intended victim.
I need more Freedom Fries in my diet to catch up to them.
Paul Tardy: Well, yeah. That describes a few of my conservative family members.
I wonder how calling them “the new welfare queens” would go down at the next family get together?
Of course, my family members got their lovely retirement packages after military service, which I’m pretty sure is the only government job that gives you full retirement benefits after 20 years. My mother-in-law had to work at least 35 years to get her full benefits as a civilian employee of the Navy. Also, even retired military don’t get the full sweet deal that they used to. The military retirees I know got jobs after they retired in the private sector to make ends meet.
SayItWithWookies: Inspired.
Tell the dumbfux that they are standing in a line for disclaiming their Medicare and Social Security benefits when they reach the age of eligibility, and watch how fast they waddle in the other direction.
Crying like little girls.
Extemporanus: Win.
These people are still angry that Walnuts lost. Sheesh.
No mention of the scene in Fletch where Fletch starts singing the national anthem during the Fred Dorfman tribute? These people aren’t wingnuts, they’re creative Fletch re-enactors and therefore patriots of the highest order.
OK, who rousted all the retired veterans of George Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” and bused them to Washington?
Ironic that the very people who seem intent on keeping the nation divided love to chant about its indivisibility.
Damn. If only those dirty hippie anti-war protesters had had the temerity to shout the pledge of allegiance at w and dick back in 2002-03, I bet the administration would have totally rethought their preemptive war!
CaptainOCD: Thank you! One nation, alright. UNTIL WE SUCCEED FROM TEH MUSLINS!11!!
I have a friend who tried to instruct students that it is
“one nation under God”
as there is no comma between nation and under.
But I guess these dumb fucks can’t read.
Fat, white and dumb, what a shocker!
DustBowlBlues: Yes, but they don’t have ALL the guns. Believe it or not, some sane people have them, too… They just don’t shriek about it day and night.
What, no Bellamy salute?
Pinko commie bastards…and they’re all suited up like them there folks down in Caracas, bunch of Red Michigander douchetards!
Oh, hell-to-the-naw! These mutant rednecks did not just accost my Keebler-American Jewish Senator. These fucktards are just pissed that Michigan almost went 60% for Obama. BTW, a point of pride, for me, is that Mike Fuck-a-bee placed a distant third in our Republican primary.