- “Imagine a United States Senate with Michael Williams, Pat Toomey, and Marco Rubio. Now imagine Pat Toomey massaging your naked body with Skippy peanut butter, as Marco’s moist testicles rest on your face … We can make all that a reality.” [RedState]
- The Associated Press has bought the rights to “Thomas Jefferson.” © Associated Press. [Hit & Run]
- Are you a senator? A House member? Maybe a governor? Well come on down to Nevada’s exclusive BunnyRanch Harem and enjoy the free petting zoo! [TPM]
- Fire-safe cigarettes? Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em! [Andrew Sullivan]
- After arguing bitterly with Jefferson Davis about how many slaves you can fit in the hull of a schooner, Creigh Deeds seceded from the Confederate States of America. And that is how 10 acres in rural Virginia became known as Deeds Country. [NRO: The Campaign Spot]
For Most Lawmakers, ‘Free Hookers’ Is Too Little, Too Late
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{ 34 comments }
Why would I smoke if there isn’t the chance I’ll fall asleep and burn my house down with me in it? Danger is part of the fun.
Oh, the imagery. Riley, you’ve seen too many Bruce LaBruce movies. Keep up the good fight!
“Imagine a United States Senate with Michael Williams, Pat Toomey, and Marco Rubio. Now imagine Pat Toomey massaging your naked body with Skippy peanut butter, as Marco’s moist testicles rest on your face”
Oh, Riley.
Red Staters are urged to work tirelessly? Seriously? What the hell are they doing now? These people never take a break from bringing the crazy.
Creamy or Chunky Skippy?
[re=376899]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Those smokeless cigarettes do indeed miss the point entirely. I was with Tom Robbins when he said smoking was a celebration of fire. Plus, they makes you look cool.
Toomey is being primaried by Peg “Mom’s House” Luksik, the one person in Pennsylvania more insane than he is. She’s not only against teh abortions, but also against The State’s Assault On Our Children’s Values!
Funny how the Redstaters aren’t supporting her, given that history. Maybe it’s because she got destroyed by Tom Ridge in 1994 and 1998 when she ran as the Konstitootuon Partie Kandidate for Gubnor of Pennsyltucky.
Oh, and:
“…imagine having two ladies like Karen Handel and Nikki Haley slashing goverment [sic] bugets [sic] and taxes from their respective Governors’ Mansions.”
I thought only porn stars and rock guitarists were named Nikki.
A non smoker voicing just how totally fucked with their pants on all smokers are these days is refreshing.
I would totally Blow him.
ummm, .. for a smoke.
In other news:
http://www.examiner.com/x-18173-Utah-County-Libertarian-Examiner~y2009m8d3-Glenn-Beck-says-that-carsgov-website-will-track-your-computer
“Glenn Beck says that cars.gov website will track your computer”
Cash-for-Clunkers, Obama’s way to spread muslim malware.
odd fetishes over there at redstate. why skippy and not peter pan?
Just another day in the C Street house.
All of a sudden I want a whore and a smoke and a fistfight with Thomas Jefferson Davis.
Silly Riley. Choosy mother(fucker)s choose JIF.
Hey RedState, neither Michelle Bachmann nor Rush Limbaugh came to your tardfest, so that delegitimizes your whole movement.
Damn it! I just moved states and I was actually wondering why my expensive cigarettes taste like shit. Well, I looked it up, and this is why. I guess the safety, er, I mean, health nazis don’t care if EVA is fucking toxic, because smoker’s a moron, right? As long as it tastes bad and makes people quit. These faggots never had a problem when smoking was a rich man’s habit.
And really, what’s wrong with a great big conservative bucket of Crisco(tm)? These republican preverts disgust me.
I’ve found when it comes to hookers you get what you pay for.
Everyone knows chunky is for power bottoms.
Holy shit. The similarities to my shopping list for this evening are eerie. Thanks for the work in these trying economic times, Zombie Thurmond!!!
This is for whoever starting posting those G.I. Joe parodies from youtube the other day:
http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/thebattle_zoom.jpg
Jif is for kids.
Peanut Butter, The Atheist’s Nightmare!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504
[re=376938]memzilla[/re]:
Hey RedState, neither Michelle Bachmann nor Rush Limbaugh came to your tardfest, so that delegitimizes your whole movement.
As if the Tard’s Gallary of those who did attend legitimizes any movement?
[re=376918]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Nikki (porn name) Haley: running from her brown heritage as fast as she can. She does “Bobby” Jindal proud.
Atheists nightmare debunked.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLqQttJinjo&feature=related
Actually they don’t taste like shit, they taste like dirty pennies and burned plastic. This vile taste stays, it clings even after you brush your teeth, even after you’ve slept overnight and again brushed your teeth, and it sickens you to your stomach.
While that’s appealingly vivid, I must say that it doesn’t inspire any sympathy. I mean, you’re a smoker, for crying out loud — you’ve been putting vile disgusting crap in your mouth for years. It’s just that this new vile, disgusting crap has managed to find some tastebuds that aren’t dead yet. I’d suggest smokers enjoy this — in two weeks they won’t even notice it anymore. But the person sitting next to you certainly will.
[re=376904]freakishlystrong[/re]: Everytime someone writes “Oh, Riley,” that tune, “Elvira” pops into my head.
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow …
[re=376932]liquiddaddy[/re]: I hear ya, daddy, and whassa difference between Senators at the Bunny Harem and Bunnies at the C-Street -Harem?
I’m very bored- I want Palin’s divorce, Sanford’s resignation and someone’s death(I’m not particular-but preferably someone from Fox news). Call me when 1 of these happens
[re=376956]prophet1195[/re]: Now that is POE’s Law if ever there was POE’s Law.
Maybe he’s right that evolution doesn’t happen. But devolution sure does.
Hey here’s something annoying. George Claghorn, of RedState, in the comments, quotes Thomas Jefferson: “A government big enough to give you anything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.” The problem? Thomas Jefferson never said that.
The actual quote was spoken not by Thomas Jefferson but by that other conservative icon, Gerald Ford: http://www.bartleby.com/73/714.html.
I dug around and there’s no indication of Thomas Jefferson ever saying this, and in fact wikiquote lists the quote as frequently “misattributed” to Jefferson. Just another example of conservatives not bothering to do any research or fact-checking on anything, ever.
[re=376994]nehpets84[/re]: Should have been more specific – George Claghorn said this in the comments on RedState, in the RS piece referenced above.
[re=376968]Don Juanquete[/re]: they are furrier
200 people showed up at the big Red State gathering in Atlanta. Hope they had enough teabags.
[re=376963]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Judge not, I’m sure you’ve put some vile, disgusting crap in your own mouth over the years, in one form or another.
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