Duh! Africans caint be preznit!GOP rising star Eric Cantor has apparently heard about this little problem with his party — you know, how the “Republican base” has gone batshit insane, because they hate the coloreds so much that they’ve decided no matter what, Barack Obama isn’t “really” president because there is something fishy about his virgin birth in Bethlehem 6,000 years ago, because we all know a colored cannot be president of White America. Cantor’s solution: Blame the librul media!

Rep. Cantor, according to his own spokesman, “finds it ironic that those most eager to talk about the President’s citizenship are in fact some of his biggest cheerleaders — whether it’s Chris Matthews or others on MSNBC, the Huffington Post, or camera toting liberal bloggers chasing people through the streets of Washington.”

WTF, really? The birthers have been at this for TWO YEARS, long before Obama had the nomination, let alone the presidency. It was a full year ago that Obama’s campaign provided the whatever-you-want-to-call-it (Certified Placenta of the Pineapple King of the Sandwich Islands?), and it is only because these people will not shut up that finally, during the comical slowest news month of the year, that the evil Liberal Media finally picked up on what shit-for-brains clowns like Glenn Beck and Lou Dobbs are saying on the cable news EVERY NIGHT.

Eric Cantor Rips Chris Matthews, MSNBC, HuffPo, Liberal Bloggers For Inflating Birther Story [Plum Line]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Jukesgrrl

    Obama’s birth certificate is one of the least offensive things Glenn Beck has talked about just this week, so is Cantor going to blame the libruls for that shit, too?

  • MOG

    As my ex used to say, F&^em and feed’em fish.

  • InsidiousTuna

    [re=375993]MOG[/re]: Fish?

  • Extemporanus

    I’m having the in-laws over for brunch tomorrow, and “Certified Placenta of the Pineapple King of the Sandwich Islands” sounds absolutely delish!

    You wouldn’t mind sharing the recipe, would you Ken? I’ll trade you my “Herb Roasted Afterbirth & Garlic Umbilical Fries” recipe for it!

  • AnglRdr

    Oh, Eric…such a card.

  • Humpback

    Republican strategy 101: if you can’t lie your way out, blame the messenger.

  • Don Juanquete

    Here I thought birthers were quickly joining up with the “health care murders seniors” conspiracy without cleaning up their mess.

  • shadowMark

    It’s brunch time again in America. Today more men and women will go to brunch than ever before in our country’s history. They’ll talk about interest rates and buying new homes and other stuff. This afternoon thousands of young men and women will have sex, some even with each other. It’s brunch time again in America, and under the leadership of that foreign Muslim guy in the White House, our country is prouder and stronger and better and gosh darn it blacker than it has ever been before. Why would we ever want to return to where we were less than six short months ago before later?

  • Bill E Pilgrim

    It’s true, everyone knows that the gentlemanly thing to do would be to just ignore the poll showing that a majority of Republicans are birthers.

    It’s a shame, back in the old days the Republicans could be completely insane and NO ONE WOULD REPORT THIS, which is only sporting.

  • chascates

    The Aztecs were wrong by 3 years.

  • tunamelt

    [re=375993]MOG[/re]: [re=375995]InsidiousTuna[/re]: If you teach a man to fish, you can feed him for a day. Or something.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376001]Don Juanquete[/re]: They’re attempting to execute a modified pincer movement:

    Birthers on our left flank, Deathers on our right, with Blue Dogs attacking from the rear.

  • lmj

    As lifelong Democrat, I hope they let these GOP geniuses spout on TV everyday.
    Believe that Obama born in US? 87% west, 90% midwet, 93% northeast.
    47% South.

    Regional Rump Rube Much, Republicans?

  • TheThirdNut

    This is merely a preemptive strike against anyone looking too closely into the origin story of Eric Ivan Cantor.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=375999]AnglRdr[/re]: Hey there! Thanks for the link to Ms. Taitz’s blog!

    It really made me question much of what I’m been hearing about the subject on this blog. Do you have any other links you could share that would shine an additional light on the unresolved nature of Obama’s birth?


  • Bill E Pilgrim


    Believe that Obama born in US? 87% west, 90% midwet, 93% northeast.
    47% South.

    At first I thought you were posting coordinates. For where he was born.

    The current coordinates for the Republican party are just left of a point on a line passing Pluto, at this point.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Cantor’s just pissed that a black man became president before a Jew.

  • lmj

    [re=376012]Bill E Pilgrim[/re]: Those were numbers from the GOS KOS opinion poll, broken down by region, and I thought Kosian thought control waves would reveal their significance immediately. To those who are borged.

    You didn’t get it? Hmmmm…. maybe I should report you.

  • facehead

    [re=376006]tunamelt[/re]: I think the correct expression is: you can melt a tuna, but you can’t make the tuna drink its own melted carcass.

    I blame Riley.

  • AnglRdr

    [re=376011]Extemporanus[/re]: That was just today’s treasure of crazy. But I’ll keep looking for you.

  • Marlowe

    I wish someone would inflate Cantor like Harry Potter did to his “Aunt Marge.”

  • jasper f. krone

    [re=376004]chascates[/re]: Mayans, chascates, Mayans.

    Scary monsters and super creeps
    Keep me running, running scared

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376018]AnglRdr[/re]: Oh, I know. I was just really hoping that you’d believe me since I’m kind of new here and getting my drunk on and looking for trouble.

    By the way, is “AnglRdr” l33t-speak for “protractor”?

  • glamourdammerung

    It only took two unwinnable wars, and the total collapse of the global economy to get that “liberal media” to start reporting on the type of fucked up nonsense that comes from the right-wing on a daily basis.

  • AnglRdr

    [re=376023]Extemporanus[/re]: Shhhhhh now, Drunky McDrunkster. Don’t give away all my secrets.

  • Matt Osborne

    I want to see more birther TV interviews. The one with G. Gordon was pretty good.

  • lmj

    Wonkette didn’t do any lame beer aficionado humor this week, like Muleduck and Cilia, or whoever they are, and everybody else. I thought this was a humor blog.

  • Bill E Pilgrim


    You didn’t get it? Hmmmm…. maybe I should report you.

    I live in France, it takes longer for the liberal control rays to get here, plus I can never find the right kind of foil here to get the hat just right.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376014]hobospacejunkie[/re]: If only Sammy Davis, Jr. were still with us!

    We could’ve elected him president, and united Jews, Blacks, and Cripples in one fell swoop.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=375999]AnglRdr[/re]: Wow, thanks for that link, I guess (!)

    I only read today’s blog entry ny Orly Esquire. They are even crazier than I suspected. The COLB is a forgery! Oh noes! There really is nothing you can say that will convince them otherwise. They are truly a treasure worth their weight in gold.

  • AnglRdr

    They’re something, to be sure.

  • My choice. My Wonkette.

    What do these people want to do, deport him? I heard that Obama was in fact born in an American territory, Hawaii, in 1958. This was a few years before statehood, so Obama can’t be president but he can stay with his family and have a good career. This is the sensible position of the Blue
    Dog Democrats, who are moderate and pragmatic.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=376014]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Of course he is. Why else would he be known in the Republithug party as Dixie Jew?

  • chascates

    [re=376021]jasper f. krone[/re]: SHIT! Now I’m doubled flipped out

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376025]AnglRdr[/re]: Oops! Sorry about that.

    So, if anyone asks me why you go by “AnglRdr”, what should I tell them?

    Because you’re Dick Cheney’s urologist? A big fan of Oakland’s sports teams? Sleeping with Jaclyn Smith?

    Maybe it’s best if I just keep my mouth shut…

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=376032]My choice. My Wonkette.[/re]: Winner screen name, winner post, exactly description of said Blue Piss Democrats.

    This reminds me of an interview I heard on NPR with a UFOer who believed that Area ??? in New Mexico was the secret landing place of secret aliens. When asked about the lack of evidence, he said, “the govt. destroyed the evidence. That’s why we know it happened.”

    This is the birther theory. There is no evidence, therefore it is true. Bill Maher tonight said that the Democrats shouldn’t ignore this one–liek they did back when they thought Whitewater and Swift Boat Liars wouldn’t gain traction because they were so ridiculous. Jump on this shit immediately, he said, and I agree.

    Of course, it’s scarier for me because I live in the region that believes everything they hear on Radio-Free-Hate. When I lived in Seattle, I discounted this shit. Now, I know better. Treat them as buffoons and call them out as such as often as they repeat their lies. If morons hear it enough, even in passing, they start believing it’s true. How novel if they actually started believing the truth is true.

    The repeat for morons theory doesn’t go for Shamwow–that shit really works, people!

  • DustBowlBlues

    I went to that scary link and a warning popped up that said it would eat my Mac. I hit “go back” as fast as I could, before the Birthers and Deathers destroy my wonketted mac.

  • naveed

    We have yet to see the certificate of zombie birth.

  • S.Luggo

    Otay, Eric, it’s time to take your thorazine.

  • memzilla

    Common wisdom says that shining sunlight on a problem will disinfect it. In this case, we can only hope that the sunlight will cause the bloated corpse of the Repugnican Party to swell and burst forth with a slithering pile of maggots and foetid gases.

    Oops, too late.

    To repurpose the old joke: “Why did you keep voting for the GOP?” “Because it feels so good when I stop.”

    GOP = Going Out, Psychotic.

  • Paul Tardy

    Suggestion. Hawaii sell tickets to see the holy birth certificate for like $1000 a pop.

  • LoweredPeninsula

    My god, will someone tell Eric Cantor he’s Jewish, already, and get this fucking over with?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Rep. Cantor, according to his own spokesman, “finds it ironic that those most eager to talk about the President’s citizenship are in fact some of his biggest cheerleaders…”

    Rep. Cantor also noted that the warehouse fire downtown wasn’t big until the local news camera crew arrived.

    Rep. Cantor is intrigued by the liberal bias inherent in the MSM’s continuous hectoring about how we’ve been having economic and security problems for several years now.

    Rep. Cantor is baffled by economists’ dogmatic insistence on letting simple math get in the way of a good tax cut.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=376043]memzilla[/re]: Granting Obama’s Prayers.

  • Don Juanquete

    No, we Cantor.

  • FlownOver

    We have a winner in the drawing for a year’s supply of delicious Bag-O-Dix!!!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376009]lmj[/re]: Regional Rump Lube Mulch Republicans?

    With a name like that, it’s no wonder the Southern chapter of the Log Cabin Republicans has so much trouble attracting new members.

  • memzilla

    “Success is the important thing. [Fox News Talking Points are] not a matter for average minds, but rather matter[s] for practitioners. [They are] not supposed to be lovely or theoretically correct. I do not care if I give wonderful, aesthetically elegant speeches, or speak so that women cry. The point of [Fox News] is to persuade people of what we think right. I speak differently in the [Red States] than I do in [Washington], and when I speak in [Peoria], I say different things than I say in the [C Street Fellowship House]. That is a matter of practice, not of theory. We do not want to be a movement of a few straw brains, but rather a movement that can conquer the broad masses. [Fox News Talking Points] should be popular, not intellectually pleasing. It is not the task of [Fox News] to discover intellectual truths.”

    Geez that was fun. The bracketed words were my replacements. The original speech was by Josef Goebbels in 1928. And ya know what? It worked just as well.

  • thursday



  • slappypaddy

    [re=376036]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “This is the birther theory. There is no evidence, therefore it is true.” What the hell (so to speak), it’s worked before: Immaculate Conception, Virgin Birth, Resurrection, Second Coming, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, WMDs — who needs evidence, it’d only get in the way.

  • Wet Work

    I’ll show you my Birther Certificate if you’ll show me yours.

    I thought teh wignutz believed life begins at conception.


  • Mr Blifil

    Micropenis. It’s usually why these idiots act the way they do.

  • mollymcguire

    [re=376046]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: I’ll believe that Cantor is a real American when he shows us his foreskin!!!

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=376014]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Bros before Shmoes.

  • gurukalehuru

    Cantor won’t?

  • Wet Work

    If I wasn’t so lazy/unskilled/wasted, I’d set about making a real Birther Certificate for Zero Hussein The Usurper, in photoshop.

    It would list his birthplace as Nairobi or Mombasa or some other Kenyan city, and be on official-looking Kenyan stationary, you know, with spears and monkeys and stuff.

    Then I’d spread it all over the internets and smirk mirthfully at the ensuing winger freakout.

    Yeah, that’s what I’d do …

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376067]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yeah, goyeee!

  • Todd Mecklem

    They can’t just say “He’s a negro!” (Well, they can, but only when they’re sure no one will tattle.)

    So they tried “He’s a Muslim!” That got tired, and didn’t work in the end.

    Now it’s “He’s a foreigner!” They’ll keep trying whatever they can. Because they can’t accept what’s happened. Can’t wrap their heads around it. Does not compute. Can’t be allowed to stand.

    I fear for our country. And for our president.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=376073]Wet Work[/re]: You mean something like THIS?

  • LoweredPeninsula

    [re=376066]mollymcguire[/re]: Yeah, and ain’t no such thing is a V’ginian Jew. I tells ya, he’s a fraud!

  • Joshua Norton

    Amazing. Ken is a guy and yet he’s able to achieve multiple sarcasms.

  • Bill E Pilgrim

    [re=376089]Joshua Norton[/re]:
    Amazing. Ken is a guy and yet he’s able to achieve multiple sarcasms.

    Yeah but I hear that he fakes them sometimes.

    Couldn’t happen to you, you say? Well most bloggers admit faking sarcasms from time to time. And most readers claim that it never happens to them. You do the math.

  • WABishop

    Why not just drop the “natural born” requirement of the Constitution? Can our many wonderful public servants who want to make it a law that future presidential candidates show proof of birth defend the reason for it in the first place?

    How about this: As things stand, you can’t be president unless you are a natural born citizen and 35 years old (as well as being elected in the Electoral College, but who cares about such a trivial technicality?) Natural born citizens, in other words, become citizens at birth but cannot be president for 35 years. Why not make it that you have to be a citizen, natural or naturalized, for 35 years before you can be president?

    I know, I know, it would never fly with the gun-toting tobacco-chewing fringe of the American electorate. But it’s still a sensible proposal, right?

  • Athar

    Lou Dobbs? Is that the guy who colors his Trumpesque hair with orange crayons?

  • Lazy Media

    [re=375999]AnglRdr[/re]: My browser blocked that as a reported attack website. Obama’s silenced Orly!!!11!!

  • Boojum

    The latest wingnutese is that the birth certificate (the REAL one, the mythical Long Form Birth Certificate) shows a different father. This is said as if they know what it would actually show.

    I think they believe his LFBC (as it is called in wingnut) would show his real father to be Lucifer, therefore proving he is the Anti-Christ. Which explains how they got away with the conspiracy; when you have the Father of Lies doing your paperwork, miracles happen.

    I want the next poll to be “Do you believe that Obama is the antichrist?

  • AKAM80TheWolf

    Wow. I just checked out Oily Taintz’ site, and it is a cornucopia of conservative crazy. She’s blaming ‘Obots’ for Google marking her site as a threat to mankind (which it is).

  • Cape Clod

    The ‘9/11 was an inside job’ wing of the Democratic party never got out of the single digits, but a full 23% of the Republican party believes that the President was born in Kenya. They are probably the same ones who thought Bush was doing a great job right up to the time they kicked his sorry, miserable ass out of Washington.

  • Oldskool

    [re=376009]lmj[/re]: Give it up for the South. We may be stupid but we’re also obese.

  • LydiaClaire

    Obviously this is a family values issue and thus is foreign to you godless libtards. See here – I can say Uncle Jim-Bob is a nut job & the rest of my family can say Jim-Bob is a nut job. We can chuckle ‘bout his antics over a beer and have even occasionally encouraged his rantings (it’s entertaining!). But, don’t you make fun of Uncle Jim Bob or his wild theories or his crass behavior. ‘Cause he’s family & we will blame every one in the world before we’ll blame him (and shoot, we personally are blameless – just ‘cause we encouraged and supported him, don’t mean we agree with him). He’s our monster and we’ll protect him from your heathen mobs & their torches.

  • zhubajie

    [re=375999]AnglRdr[/re]: Orly Taitz = Oily Tights?

  • slappypaddy

    [re=376118]LydiaClaire[/re]: Hi, sailor. New in town?

  • LydiaClaire

    [re=376123]slappypaddy[/re]: Howdy – Long time lurker just dipping my toes in the commenter pool.

  • V572625694

    [re=376103]WABishop[/re]: “Why not just drop the “natural born” requirement of the Constitution?”

    Two reasons: Henry Kissinger and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

    Those old slaveholders who wrote that there consty-tooshun somehow knew, and spared us these dangers.

  • zhubajie

    [re=376126]V572625694[/re]: Do you have to be legitimately born? Or is a bastard OK?

    Zhu Bajie

  • Bill E Pilgrim


    “Why not just drop the “natural born” requirement of the Constitution?”

    Two reasons: Henry Kissinger and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

    I can’t imagine that either of those two would qualify for “natural birth” in any way, I’m certain that both were created in laboratories attempting to make superman dictators, Schwarzenegger in the steroids wing and Kissinger in the Caesarian section.

  • Don Juanquete

    [re=376128]Bill E Pilgrim[/re]: Third reason: Orly Taitz.

  • nappyduggs

    There’s got to be an easier way for Cantor to get his wings then showing us all what life would be like if Barry had never been born.

    A long stride off a short, high, ledge comes to mind…..


    [re=376126]V572625694[/re]: I always find it funny that the first few presidents were not natural born citizens of or in the United States since the USA was not even around at the time.

    [re=376057]slappypaddy[/re]: Oh, yes…those of of that worship at the feet of Dawkins (fuckin’ irony, ok?) have been meeting this for, well, ever. As a P.E., I wish I could just stamp “it is just the mystery of god” on all my drawings and legal docs to cover my ass, too.

    [re=376111]Cape Clod[/re]: Just stamp “mystery of god” on the investigation docs for Building 7.

  • Hunger Tallest Palin

    It’s simple: If the lieburul media would just stop laughing at the fReichtards who believe this stuff then more fReichtards who are willing to believe this stuff wouldn’t hear about it and start believing this stuff.

    Curse you lieburul media for alerting our racist followers to more racist bullshit they can embrace!

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=376103]WABishop[/re]: Don’t open the door for Arnold. He campaigns well, but is devoid of political leadership and hampered by the usual Hollywood megalomania. The GOP ran him at Gray Davis even though they despise Arnie, simply to get the guv’s mansion back; they think he’s a liberal in weasel’s clothing (he’s not). But they’d run him again in a hot minute, because they have no other viable candidates.

    As for Cantor, he’s no Eddie.

  • Wet Work

    [re=376082]Extemporanus[/re]: Yes, something like that, but a little more straight-faced, for believability. Plus spears and monkeys.

    Then I’d do one where he was born in Stalingrad. And then maybe Lima, Peru.

    If there were enough different versions floating around, we’d achieve Wingtard Synaptic Overload. They’d just go back to eating and watching NASCAR, which takes less effort.

    Too bad I’m as lazy as they are, or I’d fix this thing good.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Kudos Grandmaster Ken for noting this. As Maher mentioned (last night in his best show evah) teh stupid has to be put down since it’s dummies talking to dummies.

    And btw, similar to the Stimulus package, can Birther states be exempted from the benefits of the Health Care Plan? (Please oh pretty please.) Just asking.

  • WickedWitch

    I vote that we refer to the gentle idiot from Virginia as IVAN from now on.

    What a douche, complete with a douchey name!


    [re=376143]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Maher to Maddow “What have got written down there” referring to her scribbling just after her into, where she replies “The Answers”…man, IF she wasn’t playing for the girl’s team and didn’t look like my friend’s little sister all grown up, I could be attracted to that brain-woman…

  • WadISay

    A mailing list for that 23% would be worth its weight in gold. They would be the natural target for every ponsi scheme, Brooklyn Bridge sales, Nigerian businessman, perpetual motion machinn vendor, faith healer and securities fraudster on the planet.

  • V572625694

    [re=376134]MGBYG[/re]: Regarding the Founding Slave-owners: they were born in the “colonies” — VA, MA, etc. The intent of the clause, apparently, was to keep foreign princes (like Henry and Arnold) from coming over here and getting elected preznident. The constitution contains many ironies, such as the three-fifths rule. Oh and chicks couldn’t vote in those days, nor could men who didn’t own property. Good times!

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    Eric’s just jealous that he’s not Barry’s favorite Jew.

  • irisheyesagain

    This was posted on the Palin thread, and I take no credit for breaking it; the credit goes to Jim89048;

  • V572625694

    [re=376158]irisheyesagain[/re]: Oh that Greta Van Susterin: diminutive homewrecker!

  • WABishop


    I see your Arnold Schwarzenegger and Henry Kissinger and raise you a Madeleine Albright and Jennifer Granholm.

  • V572625694

    [re=376166]WABishop[/re]: Eric Cantor says Albright’s excluded because of her religion.

  • El Pinche


  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=376158]irisheyesagain[/re]: Well, that would explain a lot wouldn’t it:

    1) Why she left Todd in the dust after the resignation speech.
    2) No recent Tweets or info.
    3) How the second act of her heroic Supermom Disney-style movie/life will take shape, namely, closely mimicking recent Cougarmania trends. PUMAs once again to the fore. MSM will take big hits for slamming her. Big sympathy from the wingnuts. More complex gender war?
    4) Her recent complaints about money were really about that juicy book advance money and more importantly, future monies.
    5) On radio from Montana she’ll be able to distance herself from her ethics woes and “a few bad eggs in Alaska.”
    6) Conveniently, Montana is a state the Dems have made gains in, so establish residency and take a stand there.
    7) Her “Mother Earth” comment was an fu to dude Todd.

    If true, this has future resurrection written all over it.

    Tina Fey? Lorne Michaels on line 4.

  • Servo

    Personally, I blame El Niño.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=376148]WadISay[/re]: “A mailing list for that 23% would be worth its weight in gold.” Which is probably what Oily Taint is up to, hence the warnings and blocks that attach to her site. She’s quite the entrepreneur and a Ponzi scheme from her would be in keeping with her other work. Now I better shut up, since she’s a mail-order lawyer.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=376158]irisheyesagain[/re]: Is it wrong to take such glee in the breaking up of a family?

  • Mahousu

    [re=376110]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: She also says “I must be really hitting a nerve if smbd spents so much time and effort to attack me.” I’m a little uncertain why she thinks smbd is attacking her. (smbd is the Samba daemon, which provides Windows fileshare/print service.) Probably she just has it configured wrong.

    I see also that she is threatening Google with a RICO action. They must be quaking in fear.

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    [re=376186]Mahousu[/re]: Oh please, oh please go after Google. Once they’re done with you Orly sweetie, you will be homeless and jobless and then let’s see what you think about Barry’s birthplace.

  • Fly Over Girl

    Just when I almost got suckered into looking at Orly’s site, the compterz knew to save me. Damn birfers!

    Is this when we find out that Van Susterin’s face lift paid off?

  • irisheyesagain

    Wow. 9 Quadrillion Whore Diamonds to anyone who can sit all the way through this clip:

    I’m off to drink and forget…

  • krooskie

    “the republican party is the party of personal responsibility”, got it.

  • kudzu

    Am I the only one who sees teh gay in Glenn Beck? I think he’s as gay is it comes. I also think he’s been trying to hide it for years and that caused him to become an alcoholic and a druggie.

  • sezme

    [re=376017]facehead[/re]: The correct expression, ahem:
    Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a night.
    Set a man on fire and keep him warm for his whole life.

  • BMK

    Said Cantor, tweeting from Britney Spears’ dressing room.

  • LoweredPeninsula

    [re=376167]V572625694[/re]: Albright wasn’t raised Jewish or even taught that she was Jewish if I remember my history, correctly.

    [re=376166]WABishop[/re]: Leave my sexy governor alone!

  • Dolmance

    Nobody listens to me! This whole “Birther,” movement is a smokescreen to hide the real truth. The son of a bitch’s mother was a big Jewess and his father was a colonel in the N. Korean Army. They gave him Lasek surgery so he wouldn’t have to wear those coke bottle glasses and filed his enormous two front teeth down so he wouldn’t look so Asian. Then they did several surgeries on his giant Jew nose to make it smaller and they put him in a tanning bed to make his skin permanently dark. Then they removed his tail and voila – now he’s the Enemy Within. There’s nothing “magic,” about this man. Nothing at all.

  • donner_froh

    [re=376012]Bill E Pilgrim[/re]: Surprised they made it to Pluto since the GOP has such a difficult time getting past Uranus.

  • bullship

    Eric Cantor, the VIP wannbe has earned the coveted title, “King Of The Wingnuts.” Now Eric, don’t go getting all big headed like your the new-found head of the GOP or anything like that. Rush Limbaugh still hold that title. Ahh, the GOP. You gotta love them. Fringe Lunatics from the top to the bottom.

  • TGY

    If Birthers didn’t exist, the librul media would’ve had to invented them. But they do, so they didn’t.

    I don’t watch television. Who’s this Glen Breck guy, anyway? Some kinda shampoo celeb?

  • Unlearned Hand

    Did anyone see the World Net Daily copy of the real “Kenyan birth certificate”? The one that was emblazoned “Republic of Kenya”, even though no such thing existed in 1961, when Obama was born (or in Feb. 1964, when the document was “requested”?

    Seriously, we haven’t seen this level of crazy since the slavers were wiping their asses with Lincoln campaign flyers.

  • Dolmance

    I have proof that he might have been born in Africa. A friend of mine was at an Obama press conference and spilled some change. Imagine his shock when he reached out to grab the coins rolling across the floor and got a quick glimpse of Obama standing standing in full view behind the podium. The President of the United States was wearing a suit and tie, but no shoes. And his pant legs were shredded at the cuffs and his feet were all wet and muddy.

    My friend took a picture of it with his cell phone, but none of the press seems interested in purchasing the photo.

    The Emperor has no shoes!!!

  • ha8ourprez

    Eric Cantor does make a great point. If you look on Fox News and their hosts, they are not even covering this Birther Crackpot movement. They instead spend their valuable time exposing the Prez’s absurd attempt to take over the healthcare industry, or wasting money with this cash for clunkers fiasco. You are always going to have wackos on both sides of the aisle. There are wackos on the liberal side that said that Bush stole both elections, that he orchestrated 9/11, and that he didn’t help the people of New Orleans because they were black. Come on,liberals, you need to be intellectually honest to yourselves!

  • MidlothianMILF

    I just want it on the record somewhere (and this is somewhere right?) that I DID NOT VOTE FOR THAT ASSHOLE ERIC CANTOR! I have flipped him off in traffic, spit on his lawn and tried to come up with other unpunishably offensive things to do to him to make up for my idiot friends and neighbors who did.

Previous articleGet Your Free Gun Before Shit Goes Bananas!
Next articleThe Daily Beast’s Undercover Cosmetology, Picnics and Racism Beat Chief Has Behind The Scenes SCOOP