QUITTERS  4:15 pm July 31, 2009

Sarah Palin Pisses On Ronald Reagan’s Grave

by Ken Layne

It's such an icy feeling, it's so cold in Alaska ...Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won’t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just quitting the governorship of Alaska because fuck those people, right?

The Ventura County Star reports:

Just days after officially stepping down as governor of Alaska, former GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is dropping out of an advertised speaking engagement in Simi Valley ….

It was on Thursday that Palin’s spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton made public the news of the decision not to attend the event via Palin’s Facebook page.

Up to 900 people were expected to attend the event at $100 a ticket for members and $150 for non-members, but media had been barred from the occasion.

Facebook! She fucks these people over via Facebook. She’ll probably take Bristol out of her will via Twitter.

Meg, Palin’s loyal nut-case sidekick and spokesperson, said Palin bailed this time because she has so much, uhm, work to do. Commitments, too. Work and commitments. Also.

Says the Ventura paper, “It is unclear what those other work and commitments are.”

Hahahahah. Why does lazy quitter Sarah Palin hate Republican ladies? And why must she desecrate the grave of Ronald Reagan?

Palin Not Coming To Reagan Library [Ventura County Star]

 
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{ 160 comments }

germansteel July 31, 2009 at 4:19 pm

Next, she’ll shit on Nancy Reagan’s doorstep and claim it doesn’t stink.

Godot July 31, 2009 at 4:19 pm

She’s raping Ronnie with her mouth!

slappypaddy July 31, 2009 at 4:19 pm

she’s steppin’ down and steppin’ down, how low can she go on the gettin’ down, she’s a fine girl…

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 31, 2009 at 4:21 pm

By work and commitments, I assume she means forwarding racist emails and watching keyboard cat on a loop.

Country Club Jihadi July 31, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Wasn’t it Ronnie who said “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from Alaska and I’m here to help”?

Zorg July 31, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Cancelled her appearance via her Facebook page? This is taking crazy to a whole new level!

PrairiePossum July 31, 2009 at 4:23 pm

The fund-raiser probably conflicted with the start of moose huntin’ season.

Scottie July 31, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Once you start being a quitter it gets easier and easier to quit.

Bronkers July 31, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Palin’s fate: Inevitable. Predictable. Unsalvageable.

And who’d want to intervene to save her from herself, as she makes most everyone else… almost everyone look intelligent, civil, polite and adult by comparison.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla July 31, 2009 at 4:25 pm

Ahahahahahah… The Ventura County Star, that rag I read growing up, just cold tellin’ it like it is, except they seem to have no respect for how much that nice lady is progressin’ Alaska.

RoscoePColtraine July 31, 2009 at 4:25 pm

Methinks Sarah knows she is a laughing stock for most of the world (thanks to Conan and Will Shatner) and simply doesn’t care to participate in her own humiliation. She is such a megalomaniac and it must be awful to realize that, no, she is not the wunderkind of politics she thought she was.

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2009 at 4:25 pm

She’s just passing the ball like a good point guard to progress the team and continuing to achieve higher and higher goals like the soaring Denali, who is a mother grizzly bear to us all and the merciless rivers that separate the cheechacos from the sourdoughs in this abundant wilderness that God gave us to preserve the principles and the rights that this great nation grew up on, and for all of the pit bulls and soccer moms and children with special needs also.

american mutt July 31, 2009 at 4:26 pm

I never finish anything i

dr.giraud July 31, 2009 at 4:28 pm

[re=375722]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: She undoubtedly watches her own keyboard cat clip.

JohnnyMac July 31, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Sarah canceled all her events once she heard Larry the Cable Guy was performing on the House floor and she’s now madly mushing her husky team down the highway median towards DC.

gurukalehuru July 31, 2009 at 4:28 pm

I thought she was going 3rd party, but now I’m thinking nervous breakdown.
I’m cool, either way.

Native of SL UT July 31, 2009 at 4:29 pm

I was going to make a funny and clever retort to this story, but I have work and commitments.
Sorry, maybe some other time.

dementor July 31, 2009 at 4:29 pm

[re=375735]SayItWithWookies[/re]: In honor of our troops, would ya quit leaving out our brave armed forces?

FMA July 31, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Get off her back. She has things to do. Those fucking moose don’t kill themselves.

Cicada July 31, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Please run for President in 2012, please run for President in 2012, please run for President in 2012…

shadowMark July 31, 2009 at 4:30 pm

She was invited to speak at the Ronald Reagan Library? Would it have killed them to just play along with her and invite her to speak at the Sarah Palin Library?

Accordion-o-rama July 31, 2009 at 4:31 pm

She was probably just creeped out by the thought of all those books.

pants of doom July 31, 2009 at 4:31 pm

[re=375735]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Win. Also.

Extemporanus July 31, 2009 at 4:32 pm

She’ll probably take Bristol out of her will via Twitter.

Well, she wrote her will via Twitter, so yeah, probably.

rereridiculous July 31, 2009 at 4:33 pm

First she was available, and then she wasn’t. Currently she’s simi-avalleyable.

hobospacejunkie July 31, 2009 at 4:34 pm

[re=375729]Scottie[/re]: Once you start being a quitter it gets easier and easier to quit.

If only that were true of drugs.

DirtyHarriett July 31, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Oh, I get it… the media was barred from this event. And we know how much she likes the attention, even if she says she doesn’t. She wants to be seen, on the scene. It’s all good ’cause now that’s she’s declined, via Facebook, no less, she’s still making the news.

Doglessliberal July 31, 2009 at 4:37 pm

[re=375748]Cicada[/re]: the problem is, she will make anyone else running in the primaries look great, even Fat Huckabee. I want her to run in 2012 if she wins the primary. Then, Obama can pretty much take a vacation for the whole campaign season.

Chumley July 31, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Ok, so let me get this straight- if I want to avoid Sarah Palin and never hear her speak, I should just buy tickets to any event where she is scheduled to speak and I should be safe?

Min July 31, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Those wolves won’t shoot themselves, you know.

blader July 31, 2009 at 4:40 pm

[re=375751]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: victory is yours

4tehlulz July 31, 2009 at 4:41 pm

She should have shown up and quit speaking in the middle, for true truly radical maverikismz.

Scottie July 31, 2009 at 4:41 pm

[re=375756]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Yeah, you’re right. “quitting getting easier and easier” is only true when applied to responsibilities.

Custersdeadhorse July 31, 2009 at 4:44 pm

I see another opportunity for Megan McCain to save someone from suicide, assuming she posts her intentions on her Facebook page. Don’t do it Megan. Some/many/all of us want to read her obit, first on Facebook, along with her Will, pictures of her handcarved ice casket, and other melting dribble. Go girl, and quickly, so we can get back to the important things, like why the President of the U.S. drinks beer made in merica but owned by furners while sitting on lawn furniture made by mexxicans probably!

azw88 July 31, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Hey, I had oral sex once via facebook…. (tried to pick up on some hot coed, she said FUCK YOU)…

Sarah, with Alaska-1 no longer at her disposal, can’t afford to fly in comfort to So.Cal dragging her family in tow, and those greedy Reaganites wouldn’t foot the bill either. So Fuck the ghost of Reagan for denying Trig his first visit to Disneyland!!

donner_froh July 31, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Soon our MILFY Mooseburger will be known as the the Cecilia Bartoli of the Frozen North. The lovely mezzo Bartoli cancels more than she sings.

PrairiePossum July 31, 2009 at 4:46 pm

Didn’t the GOP make her return all the fancy pageant clothes? Poor snow princess didn’t have a thing to wear.

chascates July 31, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=375771]donner_froh[/re]: But when Bartoli does appear she delights. No so in Palin’s case.

Norbert July 31, 2009 at 4:49 pm

[re=375751]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Books? There must be some misunderstanding; the Ronald Reagan library contains only a stuffed chimp, an old-timey football, a few hundred ICBMs, and a couple of missing Salvadorans.

psilage July 31, 2009 at 4:50 pm

The 80′s are finally over.

facehead July 31, 2009 at 4:50 pm

OT. This is some hilarity from Brian Williams, apparently all off the cuff:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/30/brian-williams-i-start-th_n_247920.html

magic titty July 31, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Shatner will impersonate her by not showing up to the event either.

Doglessliberal July 31, 2009 at 4:50 pm

[re=375776]chascates[/re]: hey, speak for yourself, not Bill Kristol.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 31, 2009 at 4:53 pm

[re=375779]psilage[/re]: Tell that to Dame Noonington

Extemporanus July 31, 2009 at 4:53 pm

In defending her decision, Sarah Palin stated via Twitter:

“BFD IMHO! Things dropout of Seamy Valley Republican Lady Parts all the time. GBless lttle Trig AND big THX to our USTroopz!!”

hobospacejunkie July 31, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=375767]Scottie[/re]: So I should think of heroin as a responsibility?

edgydrifter July 31, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=375735]SayItWithWookies[/re]: +9 billion whore diamonds also.

Pithaughn July 31, 2009 at 4:59 pm

[re=375735]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The troops! Honor troops , protecting our freedoms , sand niggers hate/want our freedoms to have special needs babies.

Snarkalicious July 31, 2009 at 4:59 pm

[re=375724]Zorg[/re]: No shit. The people at the Reagan Librayr probably don’t even know yet. Old ass cracker fucks all showin up sayin “Where’s this Sarah Palin we been hearin brings it with the Jesus?” Bein told the deal they say “Announced it over the what? Innertube? Is that one of those new-fangled speaking tubes the neuvau riche have installed to call on their body servants in the next room? We’ve no time for such contrivance!”

Cicada July 31, 2009 at 5:06 pm

[re=375761]Doglessliberal[/re]: True, but have you seen the Republican base lately? Palin would try to run as the populist princess, and about half of the primary voters would probably be receptive to that message. Plus she’s already demonstrated her eagerness to claim victimhood over any little slight, can you imagine how she’ll be in a primary race? Anyone who defeated her would have to suck up to her supporters (many of whom are pretty fanatical already), lest they be accused of mouth-raping Trig.
I want to see blood running in the gutters, is that so wrong?

masterdebater July 31, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Bitch!

Oldskool July 31, 2009 at 5:07 pm

I bet Nancy Reagan called her a village idiot, just like she did George W. Hey, if the funny hat fits…

Texan Bulldoggette July 31, 2009 at 5:08 pm

You guys got it all wrong. Did you see that it only costs $100 for members & $150 for non members to see her Alaskan Highness & only 900 people had signed up so far? Snowbilly Grifter won’t even blow Todd unless he’s got on a $2000 pair of silk boxers; you think she’s going to haul her ass to Cal-ee-forn-yuh, read some word salad mad lib & hug a thousand year old woman (that’s you, Nancy) for under $100 grand. Please…

PerhapsSo July 31, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Love the alt text!

Hopey dont play that game July 31, 2009 at 5:08 pm

She is far too busy dealing with the gravitational issues related to the world literally being her oyster. Also.

Native of SL UT July 31, 2009 at 5:10 pm

She was just afraid someone might bring up the subject of Reaganomics which is way more complicated than the Bush Doctrine.

Jukesgrrl July 31, 2009 at 5:12 pm

She made a commitment to Child Protective Services to take care of Trig herself for a whole week and stop expecting that poor little head-licker to do all the work.

Snarkalicious July 31, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=375805]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Whoozzat? Levi?

Native of SL UT July 31, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[re=375801]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Actually she thought that900 people at $100/$150 was quite an acceptable fee. Then they told her the money was for the library.

lawrenceofthedesert July 31, 2009 at 5:16 pm

From this day forth, it shall be known as Seamy Valley.

TGY July 31, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Luckily, if the Gipper were alive today he wouldn’t remember the slight. He was that kind of guy.

And Facebook! At long last, has it come to this? Soon, we’ll be having our people’s Youtubes call your people’s Youtubes.

Dadaio July 31, 2009 at 5:27 pm

When she takes speed, they laugh and ask her.

What is in her mind?

NYNYNY July 31, 2009 at 5:29 pm

[re=375764]Min[/re]: [re=375747]FMA[/re]: You’re both wrong. August 1-7 is that all-to-brief but joyous time in Alaska known as Moosewolfing season. It the one week of the year when you can legally hunt moose by throwing live wolves onto their backs from helicopters. No real alaskan would leave the state for that week: the sun never sets and the air is full of choppers and wolves and blood and moose screams. It’s really the only fun thing left to do now that Whalewolfing has been banned.

OReillysVibrator July 31, 2009 at 5:30 pm

I doubt I’m the first to suggest it but isn’t it legitimately conceivable her erratic behavior is attributable to meth? It’s not like an addict wouldn’t try to ignore her addiction and proceed as if life’s normal.

slappypaddy July 31, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=375797]Cicada[/re]: she’s got a rock-solid lock on 23% or less of the electorate (or is it the repub base, i forget), so i say, run, babble spass, run, and we will snack on moose jerky washed down with vodka chilled by the remnants of the rapidly-dwindling alaskan ice while we watch the continuing immolation of the grand old party–

but wait! remember george wallace in 72? what happened to him? whodunnit? (ask gore vidal, maybe he’s got an opinion.)

BadKitty July 31, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Bless her heart. She’s crazy as a shit house rat.

ShortShadey July 31, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Who’s Sarah Palin?

jasper f. krone July 31, 2009 at 5:44 pm

[re=375750]shadowMark[/re]: The Sarah Palin library — what’s that? Is that the rack in the grocery store check-out aisle where they sell Shape and Ladies’ Home Journal?

user-of-owls July 31, 2009 at 5:47 pm

If at first you don’t succeed, quit and quit again.

imissopus July 31, 2009 at 5:52 pm

It begins…Good luck, wingnuts!

Quasi July 31, 2009 at 5:58 pm

If ‘Real Americans’ quit, they stay the course with their quitting.

slappypaddy July 31, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Corazon Aquino has died. Sarah Palin is such an embarrassment in comparison.

Vaya con Dios, Senora Presidente.

Sick Puppy July 31, 2009 at 6:08 pm

She’s missing not just the 50th anniversary of the republican womens of seamy, but also the 50th anniversary of seamy’s nuke disaster (July 1959).

http://www.venturacountystar.com/news/2009/jul/12/nxxfctimeline12/

She’s got some ‘splainin to do!

thetalltexan July 31, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Maybe she is getting her lipstick tattoo touched up or maybe she has never heard of Ronald Reagan. Or both.

Min July 31, 2009 at 6:10 pm

[re=375819]NYNYNY[/re]: Huh. So, can you carry a wolf concealed in Alaska?

Aurelio July 31, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=375744]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yes. I had the same feeling. A friend of mine once defined a nervous breakdown as “when you just stop.” Is this happening to Sarah?

oldguy July 31, 2009 at 6:14 pm

[re=375729]Scottie[/re]: Becomes downright addictive, that quittin…

I revise my previous plea to let her fester in isolation. If this is the only news we get about her – that she ISN’T talking and is flipping off reptards – BRING IT ON!

assistant/atlas July 31, 2009 at 6:16 pm

REAGAN SMASH! Palin also!

Todd Mecklem July 31, 2009 at 6:26 pm

I just realized why Sarah Palin is suddenly so “busy.” Werner Herzog must be making a documentary about her! He already has experience with loonies in Alaska (“Grizzly Man”) and bat-shit crazy drama queens (“My Best Fiend”). This has Oscar written all over it!

Unindicted Co-Conspirator July 31, 2009 at 6:30 pm

I don’t get it!
Going to the Reagan Library is the closest she’ll ever get to Air Force One, Marine One or the presidential limo.

Atheist Nun July 31, 2009 at 6:48 pm

But! Quitting is haaaard, you guys!

My hope is that she drops out of sight, just lays on her ass all day watching soaps, does absolutely no research on anything political, then calls a press conference announcing her intention to run for President in a year, all fat and pasty with greasy hair in a pair of sweatpants stained with 4 varieties of pudding. (*fingers crossed!*)

the doctor July 31, 2009 at 7:01 pm

“Oh, y’know, I just don’t know if I can do this whole speakin’ thing, with the libraries and the people and everything, I just got so many gosh-darn commitments I never seem to be able to make the ones that people know about!”

Athar July 31, 2009 at 7:11 pm

Her other commitment was an appointment with Michael Jackson’s doctor. She ran out of diprivan perscriptions again.

skutre July 31, 2009 at 7:24 pm

The Quitter Song: How to Field Dress a Maverick
http://acksisofevil.org/audio/quitter.mp3

testiclease July 31, 2009 at 7:29 pm

[re=375727]PrairiePossum[/re]: is she really gonna put on the antlers this year?

Marlowe July 31, 2009 at 7:34 pm

“Says the Ventura paper, “It is unclear what those other work and commitments are.””

Wewll, that reporter will work at the Post or NYT.
Too snarky.

prophet1195 July 31, 2009 at 7:40 pm

Palin at the Reagan gravesite, “I have orders to awakened you at any time in case of national emergency — even if you’re dead.
THERE’S A BLACK MAN IN THE REAGAN BEDROOM!”

testiclease July 31, 2009 at 7:47 pm

not even meghans publicist can keep this woman from committing political suicide…nor should she.

DP July 31, 2009 at 8:18 pm

A library…free loans of books and discs, free access to the interweb, free research assistance…sounds socialist.

Deepthroat July 31, 2009 at 8:29 pm

[re=375781]facehead[/re]: [re=375781]facehead[/re]: I love Brian. He was the commencement speaker at my college graduation in 2003. I believe he started off with something to the effect of, ‘man, it sucks for you to be graduating now. We really fucked this country up for you.’ It was really moving.

torera July 31, 2009 at 8:39 pm

Page 143 of the Snowbilly Etiquette manual–

Q: “How do I gracefully get out of a business commitment I made a few weeks earlier?”

A: “Just write on Facebook – Eff U, I’m going wading.”

Deepthroat July 31, 2009 at 9:05 pm

“There are problems in these times,
But, woo!, none of them are mine!”

Bowdoin July 31, 2009 at 9:15 pm

They’ve signed her up for a new teenage birth control technique. Instead of abstinence, which wasn’t working too well in the family, she’s espousing premature withdrawal!

mhale0 July 31, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Shut up Meg.

momus July 31, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Next up, Jihad — Sarah Palin bolts the Republican party to lead the Alaska Independence party. Says “Alaska must rid itself of the ‘Great Satan.”

Athar July 31, 2009 at 10:00 pm

[re=375971]Bowdoin[/re]: “Instead of abstinence, which wasn’t working too well in the family, she’s espousing premature withdrawal!”

I think you’re on to something, Bowdoin. We must now be in a cycle of Palin “down stroke.” You can bet that soon she’ll “pull out” again.

lochnessmonster July 31, 2009 at 10:29 pm

Yikes…what a photo!

June Cleaver 2.0 July 31, 2009 at 10:56 pm

[re=375735]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You forgot to throw the troops in there.

June Cleaver 2.0 July 31, 2009 at 11:09 pm

Do you know what’s so ironic? This bitch is the one who needs a damn teleprompter. And now I’ve used up all of my swear words for the year.

DustBowlBlues August 1, 2009 at 12:38 am

[re=375732]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: “hat nice lady is progressin’ Alaska.”

I must have totally misunderstood her speech. I thought she said Alaska would “progress” whatever the fuck “progress” as a verb means. But I progress–

They didn’t invite the Liberal Media to cover the event and slam her, thereby giving her something to talk about. This bitch better sign that radio contract and get on the stick agreeing to the ghostwriter for her book, quickly. She is rapidly becoming yesterday’s media event.

DustBowlBlues August 1, 2009 at 12:40 am

[re=375747]FMA[/re]: The fucking moose who don’t kill themselves is the post that had me laughing out loud today Thanks. I needed that.

SayItWithWookies August 1, 2009 at 1:00 am

[re=375746]dementor[/re]: [re=375793]Pithaughn[/re]: [re=375997]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Y’know, it’s hard enough doing Sarah Palin without you all criticizing a mother of a brave Alaskan putting his life on the line for our freedom. I know we sometimes take for granted the freedoms that have been brought to us by the Second Amendment and our rights of life, liberty and the progress of happiness that our founding fathers brought us from God. And it’s that freedom that protects all other freedoms — whether it’s the right to free speech, which I’m exercising right now, or the freedom not to have an abortion or pal around with terrorists. And I think that’s so so right about what our founding fathers intended. God bless ‘em.

LoweredPeninsula August 1, 2009 at 1:04 am

Doesn’t she do this, serially? Hasn’t she dropped out of a whole other bunch of crap after her ticket lost in November? I seem to remember the media reporting that she’s a serious flake.

lumpenprole August 1, 2009 at 1:11 am

One thousand MexAmeros says that we don’t see her “book” before a nasty, public fight over the money.

Mr Blifil August 1, 2009 at 1:32 am

Hopefully her “commitment” is a trip to Afghanistan’s front line to personally thank “the troops” for sacrificing everything. Plus the deals on rugs right now can’t be beat, if you know the right people, and are accompanied to the bazaar by the elite Delta squadron.

azw88 August 1, 2009 at 2:28 am

[re=375747]FMA[/re]: only because they didn’t listen to her farewell speech

lumpenprole August 1, 2009 at 3:30 am

[re=376056]lumpenprole[/re]:
By that I mean a peso. Also.

LadyAlaska August 1, 2009 at 4:02 am

Sarah Who?

LadyAlaska August 1, 2009 at 4:05 am

Sarah Who? Also, too.

worrierqueen August 1, 2009 at 4:09 am

She will only ever be a true quitter when she quits quitting. Sarah knows that and this is all part of the game plan.

Bruno August 1, 2009 at 6:17 am

This confirms it. She’s gone into rehab.

Athar August 1, 2009 at 7:57 am

[re=376098]Bruno[/re]: You may be right about that. Maybe the stress just got to her, and those perscriptions are so easy to get in multipules form different greedy, Republican doctors . . .

Colley1962 August 1, 2009 at 9:58 am

How in this world you bunch-of-nut liberals can actually talk about Republicans/Conservatives in a negative manner is beyond disgusting! Just reading everything that each of you have written here, makes it difficult for me to believe any of you are over the age of 16. How can you get satisfaction from degrading other people…people you have probably never been in the same room with, let alone had the privilege of talking to. GET A LIFE! DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE!!

Colley1962 August 1, 2009 at 10:02 am

AND THE FILTH THAT YOU’RE WRITING HERE…AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT SARAH PALIN IS IGNORANT AND UNEDUCATED? IF YOU’RE SO EDUCATED, WHY DON’T YOU TRY USING THAT EDUCATION. SHOW THE PEOPLE WHO ARE READING YOUR RESPONSES THAT YOU HAVE A SLIGHTLY LARGER VOCABULARY THAN A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!

skipvt August 1, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=375801]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I think you hit the nail on the head. She’s on the make for the big dollar.

Oldskool August 1, 2009 at 10:25 am

Someone hasn’t had their Cheerios this morning. I’m looking at you, Colley1962.

slappypaddy August 1, 2009 at 10:51 am

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: Hi, sailor. New in town?

DemmeFatale August 1, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: Awww…
You spoiled it!
(Good spelling, but then you had to go all caps!)

General August 1, 2009 at 11:44 am

Please wade through the rumors and the lies and separate that from the actual truth. I
understand where you’re coming from, because that’s what you’ve seen/heard about Sarah
Palin in the media. But you do not know the real Sarah Palin. Newsweek loved her in
2007. They raved about her as an up and coming female governor, a tough Alaskan, a …
reformer, who rooted out corruption in her own party, and led from the middle. She is courageous and smart. Before she was selected as VP candidate she had between 80-90% approval in her state. Then the wolves descended and destroyed her reputation. If nothing else, when you see how people treat Sarah, it’s because she threatens the establishment in both parties. They fear her.

Newsweek gushed about Palin ’07: http://www.newsweek.com/id/42534/page/2

Sick Puppy August 1, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=376122]slappypaddy[/re]: perfect.

[re=376129]General[/re]: I was wading through the rumors, then I quit. For freedom. Also.

MGBYG August 1, 2009 at 12:38 pm

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: An avatar and everything. Sweet.

[re=376129]General[/re]: After a few disappointments in the galleries and art rags in the 20′s, even Adolf got some good press by the early 1930s. Your point? The librul-press put the skeletons into her closet just before the repugs filled it with designer-ish clothing? Newsweek was, at first, just thinking with its collective cock is too hard to swallow?

RoscoePColtraine August 1, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: [re=376124]DemmeFatale[/re]: For a second there it felt like I was trolling Free Republic.

Better American Than You August 1, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: For the record (or RECORD, as you would say), let me point out two things:
1) I AM a better American than you.
2) God loves me far more than God loves you.

Now put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

irisheyesagain August 1, 2009 at 1:16 pm

I will never understand why trolls bother to come in here. They have no valid argument that could alter our collective world view, they aren’t going to enrage us (hard to get worked up after a 5 martini lunch), and clearly their keyboards need to be repaired; as evidenced by the bizarre spacing and frozen caps lock key.

Perhaps they simply feel the need to be heard, to defend their beloved Sarah who has shot herself in the political career more effectively than we “Libs” ever could. Perhaps, it’s just their way of blowing off steam. Or maybe, just maybe, they run in here, post their blowhard vitriol (hows THAT for extensive vocabulary?!) and run back to their twee little chatrooms (sarahblowme2012.org) and pat each other on the back for their bravery and courage in the fight for Real America.

Either way, we give thanks to our Wonkette overlords who allow us to bat them around a bit and then drop the banhammer when we tire of them. Also.

Jim89048 August 1, 2009 at 1:28 pm
RoscoePColtraine August 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=376149]Jim89048[/re]: Oh please, oh please if there is a god in heaven………thank you, Jim. Thank you so much. xoxoxoxo

Sick Puppy August 1, 2009 at 1:58 pm

I don’t like Sarah or Toddddd, but the thought of their divorcing and the kids not having both parents around gives me a sad.

slappypaddy August 1, 2009 at 2:02 pm

[re=376129]General[/re]: [re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: Colley — may I call you “Little Miss Flag Heart”? I think I will — and General — a brigadier, yes? — you swim in snark-infested waters when you dive into the pool of Wonkettia. We make cruel fun of many people here, ourselves included, but the powerful and prominent most of all.

And what sort of cruel fun was the Republican party making of the American people when it chose Sarah Palin to be its candidate for vice-president? Whether or not she was a good governor of Alaska is between her and the people of Alaska. We may never know, anyway, since she quit partway through her term, for no discernable or even coherent reason, but I don’t live there, I live in another state with another governor who supplies us with our own local entertainment.

If we go after Sarah with such vicious abandon, it’s for at least two reasons. One, the lesser reason, is because she is such an easy target. As has been said before, the jokes about her write themselves. But the second and greater reason has to do with the folly, the irresponsibility, and the deep insult of her being offered as a candidate for such a high office. The United States of America is a large and powerful country in a complex and dangerous world. Someone of Sarah Palin’s clear and indubitable qualifications is simply not up to the job, and any honest and clear-minded individual — say, to take one example, a high-school kid — could not conclude otherwise. To have her offered to this country by one of its major political parties as a viable candidate for what could be, God forbid, the highest office, is deeply insulting to the United States, its people, its history, its ideals, its dreams and aspirations and its highest potential.

So we stick it to her. Try it some time, Brigadier. Give it a shot, Little Miss Flag Heart. It’s great fun, and quite liberating. Also.

RoscoePColtraine August 1, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Hillary and Bill were obviously not doing the normal thing when they decided to stick together after Bill’s dalliance with Monica. Divorce is the ‘murican way. Oh god, I think I gotta sit down. I’m downright giddy. If this internet rumor proves to be false who is going to pick up all the broken pieces of my spiteful heart?

Better American Than You August 1, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Sarah Palin: A Role Model for Republican Family Values Politicians.

Pay attention, Sanford and Ensign.

Servo August 1, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]:
How predictable that a Repugnant base a person’s life and views on a snapshot.
Sarah Palin is inept and unqualified for any public office, including park trash removal. Even your fellow Repugnants admitted that.
What’s with the Love, American Style avatar?

Perez Ackenblack August 1, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Like most of you, I’m too tired from going ass-to-mouth with every estrogen rich Liberai bitch-boy I meet to read such long articles,or actually think for myself. Mark my words though. I will hope in one hand and shit in the other, and see which changes first!

SmutBoffin August 1, 2009 at 5:17 pm

[re=376187]Perez Ackenblack[/re]: wat

Jim89048 August 1, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=376152]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: HST was right. When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro. Ya just can’t make this shit up!

imissopus August 1, 2009 at 6:23 pm

[re=376115]Colley1962[/re]: The stoopid is strong with this one.

[re=376129]General[/re]: And this one.

[re=376187]Perez Ackenblack[/re]: And this one. A buffet of stoopid on weekend Wonkette! Thank you, comedy gods!

Oldskool August 1, 2009 at 6:52 pm

[re=376187]Perez Ackenblack[/re]: “I’m too tired from going ass-to-mouth with every estrogen rich Liberai bitch-boy I meet ”

If you’re humping guys of any kind in the hiney, you must be packing hardware yourself making you a guy who likes to hump guys. When did Republicans become the party who likes to get their freak on?

Athar August 1, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=376218]Oldskool[/re]: In response to your question:

“When did Republicans become the party who likes to get their freak on?”

Since we’ve had Congressional Pages, or maybe it’s since we’ve had mega-churches, something like that.

imissopus August 1, 2009 at 7:09 pm

Republicans, mega-churces, and meth: the Holy Trinity of hypocritical sinners.

General August 1, 2009 at 7:31 pm

by Dewey Whetsell

The last 45 of my 66 years I’ve spent in a commercial fishing town in Alaska. I understand Alaska politics but never understood national politics well until this last year. Here’s the breaking point: Neither side of the Palin controversy gets it…It’s not about persona, style, rhetoric, it’s about doing things. Even Palin supporters never mention the things that I’m about to mention here.

1- Democrats forget when Palin was the Darling of the Democrats, because as soon as Palin took the Governor’s office away from a fellow Republican and tough SOB, Frank Murkowski, she tore into the Republican’s “Corrupt Bastards Club” (CBC) and sent them packing. Many of them are now residing in State housing and wearing orange jump suits. The Democrats reacted by skipping around the yard, throwing confetti and singing “la la la la” (well, you know how they are). Name another governor in this country that has ever done anything similar. But while you’re thinking, I’ll continue.

2- Now with the CBC gone, there were fewer Alaskan politicians to protect the huge, giant oil companies here. So, she constructed and enacted a new system of splitting the oil profits called “ACES”. Exxon (the biggest corporation in the world) protested and Sarah told them “don’t let the door hit you in the stern on your way out.” They stayed, and Alaska residents went from being merely wealthy to being filthy rich. Of course the other huge international oil companies meekly fell in line. Again, give me the name of any other governor in the country that has done anything similar.

3- The other thing she did when she walked into the governor’s office is she got the list of State requests for federal funding for projects, known as “pork”. She went through the list, took 85% of them and placed them in the “when-hell-freezes-over” stack. She let locals know that if we need something built, we’ll pay for it ourselves. Maybe she figured she could use the money she got from selling the previous governor’s jet because it was extravagant. Maybe she could use the money she saved by dismissing the governor’s cook (remarking that she could cook for her own family), giving back the State vehicle issued to her, maintaining that she already had a car, and dismissing her State provided security force (never mentioning—I imagine—that she’s packing heat herself). I’m still waiting to hear the names of those other governors.

4- Now, even with her much-ridiculed “gosh and golly” mannerism, she also managed to put together a totally new approach to getting a natural gas pipeline built which will be the biggest private construction project in the history of North America. No one else could do it although they tried. If that doesn’t impress you, then you’re trying too hard to be unimpressed while watching her do things like this while baking up a batch of brownies with her other hand.
5- For 30 years, Exxon held a lease to do exploratory drilling at a place called Point Thompson. They made excuses the entire time why they couldn’t start drilling. In truth they were holding it like an investment. No governor for 30 years could make them get started. This summer, she told them she was revoking their lease and kicking them out. They protested and threatened court action. She shrugged and reminded them that she knew the way to the court house. Alaska won again.

6- President Obama wants the nation to be on 25% renewable resources for electricity by 2025. Sarah went to the legislature and submitted her plan for Alaska to be at 50% renewables by 2025. We are already at 25%. I can give you more specifics about things done, as opposed to style and persona . Everybody wants to be cool, sound cool, look cool. But that’s just a cover-up. I’m still waiting to hear from liberals the names of other governors who can match what mine has done in two and a half years. I won’t be holding my breath.

By the way, she was content to to return to AK after the national election and go to work, but the haters wouldn’t let her. Now these adolescent screechers are obviously not scuba divers. And no one ever told them what happens when you continually jab and pester a barracuda. Without warning, it will spin around and tear your face off. Shoulda known better.

Athar August 1, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=376224]General[/re]: General Sir! That’s one hell of a lot of writing to do just defending some little lady. Do you think maybe she’s interested in your privates?

SmutBoffin August 1, 2009 at 8:32 pm

[re=376224]General[/re]: No. Look. General…sir. We don’t care about any of that. The earnestness with which you copy-pasted that boring garbage in the defense of your (ex-)governor-princess is commendable, but no one here gives a goddam (unless you say ludicrous and incoherent things in the sEMi-CapiTALIzED patois that we enjoy). There are some dipshits over at DailyKos who will gladly engage with you on the merits of Sarah Palin’s leadership style and ability. They actually like talking to those who are as ill-informed and humorless as they.

If you don’t want to have wasted your time on this site completely, just browse around and maybe you will learn why we think Sarah P. is such a great target for jokes and such (hint: it’s her general cluelessness, verbal idiosyncrasies, and apparent disinterest in anything to do with government).

J August 1, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Only dead fish give speeches at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.

Servo August 1, 2009 at 8:56 pm

[re=376224]General[/re]:
Since Alaskans refuse to acknowledge the real world and the complexities contained therein, Sarah Palin & Co. are hereby banished to their intelligence-optional realm, never to be capable of creating national policy rooted in naiveté or ideology.
Now, go make yourself useful and get our cats their dinner.

imissopus August 1, 2009 at 9:34 pm

[re=376224]General[/re]: Yes, I remember hearing about Sarah cutting out the pork. Like the Bridge to Nowhere, which she was for before she was against. And the funding that had been requested for programs that support unwed teen mothers in various ways, since not everyone is as lucky as her own daughter and has a support system when some redneck knocks her up. And she didn’t save money by firing the cook and giving back her state-issued vehicle and whatnot: the cook was given another job in government while lil’ Sarah lived in Wasila and charged the state a per diem for every day she spent up there instead of down in Juneau governin’ and such. Oh, but she’s so anti-corruption, you say?

Listen up, genius: what you call federal pork may in fact be money that your congressional reps steered towards Alaska to help create a few jobs or fund some programs that help the needy that don’t have anywhere else to turn. If they hadn’t sent it to Alaska, it would have gone to another state whose governor cares more about his constituents then he does about proving a point.

And if the ACES program, in which the state basically hands free money to its residents, is not an example of the socialism which Palin always rails against, then my high school history teacher has some ‘splainin to do. Of course they get that money at the expense of serious damage to the environment, thus depriving Trig and all other future Alaskans of enjoying the wonderful wild state that Sarah has enjoyed for most of her life, but hey that’s the future’s problem, ain’t it?

Normally I’m with SmutBoffin: we satirize Sarah for many reasons that have nothing to do with her leadership abilities. But something about that smug bullshit of yours really pissed me off. The only thing I fear about her is her potential to get the mouth-breathers on the right so riled up that one of them is gonna pop like a balloon. Maybe the Republican establishment fears her for that reason but trust me, the Democrats would wipe the floor with her in an election by appealing to the 80% of Americans who are not intellectually deficient and proud of it.

June Cleaver 2.0 August 1, 2009 at 10:22 pm

[re=376156]slappypaddy[/re]: Such a great comment.

BMK August 1, 2009 at 11:13 pm

[re=376156]slappypaddy[/re]: Thank you for that win, also.

slappypaddy August 1, 2009 at 11:19 pm

[re=376295]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]:
[re=376312]BMK[/re]:

sometimes the words line up right and i just let ‘em rip.

skutre August 2, 2009 at 1:19 am

General[re=376224]General[/re]:
Hah what a load of bullshit. We build your roads, we build your airstrips, we build your heated sewer systems in the arctic circle. Everything you Mucklucks do is subsidized by the taxpayers in the lower 48.

Alaska is a goddam socialist paradise, and Palin did not invent the owner resource arrangement, she inherited it and stiffened it. It’s essentially Hugo Chavez.

The joke about AK is that you pretend to be rugged individualists, while you’re the worst welfare bums in the history of the US, it’s not just Ted Stevens and Palin, it’s all of you.

You’re a bunch of socialists who constantly over-compensate for it by pretending to be right wingers….
and doing a lot of meth
also

Athar August 2, 2009 at 8:20 am

[re=376329]skutre[/re]: Well put, and if you tell them about a thousand more times, it might even start to sink in with a few. At least, we can hope.

Sick Puppy August 2, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=376329]skutre[/re]: Very well said!

Sharif DelMonte August 2, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=376279]imissopus[/re]: You people should lay off Dewey Whetsell–he was the only white member of his jazz band, and by Alaska standards, that indicates he only attends every third lynching. Also, as I drink at the Office Lounge (Alaska’s only soul bar, that I know of) do you know what “those people” (meaning office lounge customers) think? Well, they think she’s a bint and a swinger and she should go, but they aren’t spreading false rumors of her hot naked affair with a sexy Texan. Ahem.

desertwind August 2, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Obviously, she doesn’t have a reliable meth connection in Simi Valley.

Reagan Fan August 2, 2009 at 5:38 pm

The Reagan Diaries, Leatherbound Edition
Beautiful Collector’s Edition compare at $200 MSRP only $39.99!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290336243841

Reagan Fan August 2, 2009 at 5:51 pm
lulzmonger August 3, 2009 at 12:14 am

Hearty lulz at the troll trying to play off Sarah FAILin as the tough corruption-buster who loves the wildlife … she QUIT her gig with the oil company at around the same time as the myth of her oh-so-brave “Crusade” against GOP corruption got going (I wonder how many of the busts she herself had any role in – I’m guessing nil) because she didn’t want to defile her record with any disgusting real action – & during the 2008 election campaign she proudly supported Senator Series-Of-Tubes despite his utterly sickening record of naked graft.

Then there’s that free house & the lovely per diem she got for being such a hardcore corruption-killer … yeah, she was hunting GOP lobbyists from helicopters, you betcha. Bankrupting her hometown with a useless sports-arena without bothering to check & see if the land was public property = pure political genius! Not to mention that I bet Mother Nature is surely weeping purple weewee with gratitude over her recent pioneering of a oil-pipeline megaproject, also, because everyone knows that oil pipelines are as organic as napalm!

Tl;dr: bite me.

iolanthe August 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=375807]Snarkalicious[/re]: Piper. Piper is not only SP’s youngest daughter (what is she? 8 or 9 years old?) but also apparently the live-in childcare help. She’s usually the one holding Trig.

iolanthe August 3, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=376395]desertwind[/re]: Then she just isn’t trying! All she has to do is ask around outside any local high school. (Spent 8 years living up in Thousand Oaks and Simi Valley until I wised up and moved to downtown LA. The area is rich in Mormons, biopharmaceutical firms, and meth dealers.)

Deepthroat August 3, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Thank you, dear Editors, for the bounty of trolls which thou hast provided for us.

MO Inkslinger August 12, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Sarah had other commitments. She had to take a free plane ride to NYC and eat lobster and drink champagne at Michaels. She couldn’t be worried about writing a speech and delivering to a Botox bunch of old ladies in CA. She had to meet with her publisher and her attorney and take the kids for a tour of NYC. Folks, don’t you understand! It is all about Sarah and she can’t be tied down with a job or plandering to a rich bunch old hags. She is important!

lovely_kitchen August 25, 2009 at 3:43 am

goodness me, that’s the first thing she’s done right… or would that be left? kudos to Palin for once. Reagan was a tool.

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