might as well

Lobbyists Now Writing Fake Letters To Congressmen From Blacks And Mexicans, Telling Them Not To Vote For Things

1981 called, it wants its aesthetics backJesus christ, people are so terrible these days! You know how the corporate lobbyists usually just give lots of money to elected officials, to get them to do “lighten up” a bit? Well nowadays, what with the party of “ethnics” in power, they are FORGING WHOLE letters pretending to be from black and Hispanic interest groups and sending them to fence-sitting Democrats, urging them to vote against things that would supposedly be bad for poor minorities, when really they’re just bad for “Dow Chemical.”

The muckraking Charlottesville Daily Progress reports that freshman Democratic Rep. Tom Perriello, who represents a Republican-leaning Virginia district, faced a tough vote on the climate change bill that passed the House last month. He eventually voted for it, like a commie, but during the process received a letter from a non-profit for “Hispanic interests” urging him to vote against it, because it would devastate low-income households’ energy bills.

Turns out the letter was completely fake and fraudulent — some dickhead lobbyist was just goin’ nuts:

“They stole our name. They stole our logo. They created a position title and made up the name of someone to fill it. They forged a letter and sent it to our congressman without our authorization,” said Tim Freilich, who sits on the executive committee of Creciendo Juntos, a nonprofit network that tackles issues related to Charlottesville’s Hispanic community. “It’s this type of activity that undermines Americans’ faith in democracy.”

The faked letter from Creciendo Juntos was signed by “Marisse K. Acevado, Asst Member Coordinator,” an identity and position at Creciendo Juntos that do not exist.

Unfortunately for Tom Perriello, this means that that blowjob “Marisse K. Acevado” promised in the letter may not happen, either.

The letter came from someone at corporate lobbyist firm Bonner (pronounced… well, you get it) & Associates, which claims to have fired the still-anonymous slob, even though they were all in on this, maybe, that is just a guess.

Perriello’s office also received five fake letters from the NAACP, urging the same thing.

Remember when motherfuckers used to go to jail?

Lobby Firm Sent Forged Climate Change Letter To Congressman [TPM Muckraker]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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52 comments

  1. Min

    I need to come up with another term for people like these, because “shameless bastards” just isn’t cutting it anymore.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    What’s all this talk about jail? That’s criminalizing politics. Fraudsters only go to jail when they rip off important entities, like your insurance company. Lying to average people or their representatives is known as persuasion.

  3. Extemporanus

    “Boner & Ass.”?

    Well, that’s really all the lobbying I needed. Count me the fuck in, boys!

  4. ManchuCandidate

    I think the interns suspected the following letters from “Concerned” citizens were faked:
    Issac Asimov
    James T. Kirk
    I. P. Freely
    Hu-Flung-Poo
    Al Bundy
    D. Duck
    Jonah Goldberg

  5. Maxine of Arc

    Wow, so an individual employee did something unethical and illegal without the knowledge or approval of his or her corporation, and this unethical and illegal thing not only furthered the interests of the corporation, but also had absolutely no possibility of benefiting the individual?

    As a person who uncritically believes every piece of information with which I’m presented, I can say one thing for the scumbags these days: They sure are getting altruistic!

  6. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    there was also a fake letter from Thomas Jefferson’s half-black ancestors.

    and, Marisse K. Acevado is just an anagram for Cakes Media Savor, the University journalism school secret society, so it’s all obviously just an inside job. also, too.

  7. WhatTheHeck

    Jim, I don’t take kindly to your assertion that some politically motivated people lie.
    I just received a letter from the GOP informing me that everyone associated with the Bush administration were lying sacks of shit.
    Is that a lie too??

  8. SmutBoffin

    Jesus, do you think that they tried to “ethnic up” the language in the letters as well? Like, there’s a d00d in the Bonner offices who speaks Blackinese after a few martinis and they’re all like, “Hey, d00d, write us a letter from the NAACP that reads like black folks talk! Congressman Periello will totally buy it.”.

  9. Carrie_Okie

    Oh we fired that “rogue” employee. And by “fired” we mean relocated. You know, like the Catholic church does with the more egregious boyf*ckers.

  10. Doglessliberal

    [re=375611]Min[/re]: yeah, especially since people who actually feel shame seem to be the minority, so they are the odd ones. I think maybe “oozing blobs of smegma” might be more accurate.

  11. Gopherit

    The NAACP lawyers will make that consulting firm their bitch. I will roast weenies over the pyre they leave to burn their freshly mangled corpse.

  12. risqueclay

    Several years ago, I somehow ended up on a R.J. Reynolds mailing list. They sent me a “kit” of various colored and sized envelopes (I suppose so they’d look like they were sent by a little ole lady. Included was a sample letter “suggesting” what to write and the addresses of congressmen.
    They failed to include a couple of packs of Camels for my time so I threw it in the trash.

  13. give us a bob

    The brilliant part of this scheme is that the astroturfers committed felonious mail fraud.

    So, the various interest groups spoofed by Bonner & Assoc probably don’t even need to spend any legal funds defending themselves.

    Perhaps I’m wrong when I see common sense in asking yourself questions like “gee, do I risk publicly exposing my felony act by mailing this fraud thingy off to an untrusted 3rd party?”

  14. McDuff

    “… said Tim Freilich, who sits on the executive committee of Creciendo Juntos, a nonprofit network that tackles issues related to Charlottesville’s Hispanic community.”

    If Freilich is a Hispanic name, I’m Carmen Miranda.

  15. x111e7thst

    [re=375631]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I will find a town hall to go to in August and hopefully a crazy-ass screaming idiot to punch in the throat.

  16. S.Luggo

    First tip-off: The letter wasn’t in Mexican.
    Segundo: Very few taco stains.
    Three: No well-worn holy card enclosed.
    4th: Letter wasn’t signed by Anna Rosanna Danna.

  17. Come here a minute

    Dear Representative Congressman,

    Por favor please do not raise the price of my electricity, I need it to make my delicious chimichangas.

    Sincerely,
    Chaquita Guacamole
    Presidente-in-chief
    Federation of Latino Electric Power Consumption

  18. Lord Growing

    As penance, margaritas and mojitos will be served at this year’s Bonner Beach Party.

  19. S.Luggo

    [re=375641]McDuff[/re]: Carmen Miranda was from Brazil, Mister Big Rich American Gringo.

    Current president of Argentina: Cristina Fernández de Kirchner

  20. edgydrifter

    Those fake letters? Oh, yeah, those were totally done by this one guy–Hugh G. Rection. Yeah, we totally fired his ass. Yeah, totally.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    [re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: No, but neither is Bill Richardson. And Amanda Terkel doesn’t sound very Asian either. It’s a crazy, mixed-up melting pot we live in.

  22. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=375655]Come here a minute[/re]: P.S. “Taco Taco Taco; burrito, burrito.”

  23. Brendan M.

    [re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: [re=375638]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=375641]McDuff[/re]: [re=375690]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And does “Harvard professor Skip Gates” sound black? Also, did you ever consider that Mr. Freilich is a race traitor, hmm?

    (Here’s what he looks like, if you’re interested; add a sombrero and he looks Mexican to me)

  24. Brendan M.

    [re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: [re=375638]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=375641]McDuff[/re]:[re=375690]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Also, does “Harvard professor Skip Gates” sound black? And did you ever consider that Mr. Freilich is a race traitor, hmm?

    (Here’s what he looks like, if you’re interested; add a sombrero and he looks Mexican to me)

  25. McDuff

    [re=375676]S.Luggo[/re]: American, check; gringo, check; rich — not; big — I’m not gonna brag.

  26. Brendan M.

    [re=375715]Brendan M.[/re]: It wasn’t clever enough to warrant saying it twice, jackass.

  27. Extemporanus

    [re=375676]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=375710]Brendan M.[/re]: I think I read in a book by Dustin Hoffman (or maybe Gregory Peck?) that all South Americans with a German last name are decendents of fugitive Nazi war dentists.

    Case in point: Giselle Bünchen.

  28. BlueStateLibtard

    So, does this mean we can start writing fake letters from Blue Cross, Aetna, etc. to Repubatards and Blue Dogs that threaten to cut off campaign donations if they don’t support the public option? Their letterhead ought to be easy to find.

  29. hobospacejunkie

    [re=375774]Brendan M.[/re]: Don’t be modest. Of course it was! Do I hear three?

  30. Norbert

    “When it was revealed that a letter opposing an effort to lower the cost of prescription drugs actually came from Bonner and Associates, rather than a group of African-American charities, Bonner told a reporter: “It’s a great exercise in the First Amendment.””

    Hint: when it’s discovered you have committed a felony, you are supposed to lie and say you didn’t do it, not act like a smug little shit. Senor Bonner y Compadres need to fire their current legal team and get a new one because they are going to get a chance to exercise their right to toss some prison salad methinks.

  31. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=375640]give us a bob[/re]: ” “gee, do I risk publicly exposing my felony act by mailing this fraud thingy off to an untrusted 3rd party?””

    Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I had to ask myself that.

    [re=375812]Extemporanus[/re]: Have you ever met an Argentinian German and had trouble not being like “ARE YOU A NAZI’S CHILD?”. I have.

  32. Norbert

    [re=375868]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I dated a German Argentinian very briefly but she was not my soulmate — she was extremely hot but her secret room of Third Reich paraphernalia was a distinct turn off.

  33. Extemporanus

    [re=375868]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I just assume it to be an unspoken fact, and then ask them where in their backyard the jewelry and gold teeth are buried.

    [re=375894]Norbert[/re]: I used to go see a German Argentinian dominatrix, but after that whole Sanford thing blew-up, her rates went through the roof. No more spanky-panky for me until that stimulus check arrives!

  34. GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=375617]Maxine of Arc[/re]: Any more ironic paradox and the universe will implode.

  35. nappyduggs

    Where were these fucks when I needed someone to fake me up a doctor’s note for missing two weeks of work while I stayed for free at my friends’ house in Cozumel?

    YOU OWE ME A JOB!!!1!11!!

  36. mauricewalkersiszlakIV

    Let me get this straight: a lobbying firm did something dishonest by using a congressperson to undermine the good of the general public? And you saw fit to put this on the interwebnet? I guess this is what you “insiders” call a “slow news day”?

  37. mauricewalkersiszlakIV

    Oh, Boy!! Now America-hating “Think Progress” says there’s a hired, trained crew of out-of-work bitters touring our nation’s townhall meetings acting out, like that old lady with the birth certificate at the Castle one – astroturf, since that worked so well in the 2000 effort to install our previous beloved W. as Pres of Florida. The insurance lobby calls this “throwing money at the problem.” The papers won’t touch this – Gates’ beer is the news now.

Comments are closed.