MIGHT AS WELL  3:04 pm July 31, 2009

Lobbyists Now Writing Fake Letters To Congressmen From Blacks And Mexicans, Telling Them Not To Vote For Things

by Jim Newell

1981 called, it wants its aesthetics backJesus christ, people are so terrible these days! You know how the corporate lobbyists usually just give lots of money to elected officials, to get them to do “lighten up” a bit? Well nowadays, what with the party of “ethnics” in power, they are FORGING WHOLE letters pretending to be from black and Hispanic interest groups and sending them to fence-sitting Democrats, urging them to vote against things that would supposedly be bad for poor minorities, when really they’re just bad for “Dow Chemical.”

The muckraking Charlottesville Daily Progress reports that freshman Democratic Rep. Tom Perriello, who represents a Republican-leaning Virginia district, faced a tough vote on the climate change bill that passed the House last month. He eventually voted for it, like a commie, but during the process received a letter from a non-profit for “Hispanic interests” urging him to vote against it, because it would devastate low-income households’ energy bills.

Turns out the letter was completely fake and fraudulent — some dickhead lobbyist was just goin’ nuts:

“They stole our name. They stole our logo. They created a position title and made up the name of someone to fill it. They forged a letter and sent it to our congressman without our authorization,” said Tim Freilich, who sits on the executive committee of Creciendo Juntos, a nonprofit network that tackles issues related to Charlottesville’s Hispanic community. “It’s this type of activity that undermines Americans’ faith in democracy.”

The faked letter from Creciendo Juntos was signed by “Marisse K. Acevado, Asst Member Coordinator,” an identity and position at Creciendo Juntos that do not exist.

Unfortunately for Tom Perriello, this means that that blowjob “Marisse K. Acevado” promised in the letter may not happen, either.

The letter came from someone at corporate lobbyist firm Bonner (pronounced… well, you get it) & Associates, which claims to have fired the still-anonymous slob, even though they were all in on this, maybe, that is just a guess.

Perriello’s office also received five fake letters from the NAACP, urging the same thing.

Remember when motherfuckers used to go to jail?

Lobby Firm Sent Forged Climate Change Letter To Congressman [TPM Muckraker]


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tombones July 31, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Marisse K. Avocado

oh come on they aren’t even trying

Terry July 31, 2009 at 3:12 pm

“Remember when motherfuckers used to go to jail?”

When was that?

Min July 31, 2009 at 3:13 pm

I need to come up with another term for people like these, because “shameless bastards” just isn’t cutting it anymore.

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2009 at 3:14 pm

What’s all this talk about jail? That’s criminalizing politics. Fraudsters only go to jail when they rip off important entities, like your insurance company. Lying to average people or their representatives is known as persuasion.

magic titty July 31, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Was the name Alotta Fagina not available??

Extemporanus July 31, 2009 at 3:17 pm

“Boner & Ass.”?

Well, that’s really all the lobbying I needed. Count me the fuck in, boys!

ManchuCandidate July 31, 2009 at 3:17 pm

I think the interns suspected the following letters from “Concerned” citizens were faked:
Issac Asimov
James T. Kirk
I. P. Freely
Al Bundy
D. Duck
Jonah Goldberg

Maxine of Arc July 31, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Wow, so an individual employee did something unethical and illegal without the knowledge or approval of his or her corporation, and this unethical and illegal thing not only furthered the interests of the corporation, but also had absolutely no possibility of benefiting the individual?

As a person who uncritically believes every piece of information with which I’m presented, I can say one thing for the scumbags these days: They sure are getting altruistic!

The Legend of TeaBagger Vance July 31, 2009 at 3:19 pm

there was also a fake letter from Thomas Jefferson’s half-black ancestors.

and, Marisse K. Acevado is just an anagram for Cakes Media Savor, the University journalism school secret society, so it’s all obviously just an inside job. also, too.

WhatTheHeck July 31, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Jim, I don’t take kindly to your assertion that some politically motivated people lie.
I just received a letter from the GOP informing me that everyone associated with the Bush administration were lying sacks of shit.
Is that a lie too??

SmutBoffin July 31, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Jesus, do you think that they tried to “ethnic up” the language in the letters as well? Like, there’s a d00d in the Bonner offices who speaks Blackinese after a few martinis and they’re all like, “Hey, d00d, write us a letter from the NAACP that reads like black folks talk! Congressman Periello will totally buy it.”.

Carrie_Okie July 31, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Oh we fired that “rogue” employee. And by “fired” we mean relocated. You know, like the Catholic church does with the more egregious boyf*ckers.

Judas Peckerwood July 31, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Um, is Tim Freilich a common Hispanic name?

Doglessliberal July 31, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=375611]Min[/re]: yeah, especially since people who actually feel shame seem to be the minority, so they are the odd ones. I think maybe “oozing blobs of smegma” might be more accurate.

Extemporanus July 31, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=375605]tombones[/re]: Guaca, guaca, guaca!

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Oh, and speaking of this — you know all those crazy-ass idiots who are screaming and yelling and disrupting town halls lately? They’re apparently astroturf lobbyist shills:

Gopherit July 31, 2009 at 3:23 pm

The NAACP lawyers will make that consulting firm their bitch. I will roast weenies over the pyre they leave to burn their freshly mangled corpse.

Oldskool July 31, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Ho-hum. GW Bush exhausted my capacity for outrage.

problemwithcaring July 31, 2009 at 3:29 pm


S.Luggo July 31, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: In Argentina it is.

risqueclay July 31, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Several years ago, I somehow ended up on a R.J. Reynolds mailing list. They sent me a “kit” of various colored and sized envelopes (I suppose so they’d look like they were sent by a little ole lady. Included was a sample letter “suggesting” what to write and the addresses of congressmen.
They failed to include a couple of packs of Camels for my time so I threw it in the trash.

give us a bob July 31, 2009 at 3:33 pm

The brilliant part of this scheme is that the astroturfers committed felonious mail fraud.

So, the various interest groups spoofed by Bonner & Assoc probably don’t even need to spend any legal funds defending themselves.

Perhaps I’m wrong when I see common sense in asking yourself questions like “gee, do I risk publicly exposing my felony act by mailing this fraud thingy off to an untrusted 3rd party?”

McDuff July 31, 2009 at 3:37 pm

“… said Tim Freilich, who sits on the executive committee of Creciendo Juntos, a nonprofit network that tackles issues related to Charlottesville’s Hispanic community.”

If Freilich is a Hispanic name, I’m Carmen Miranda.

jasper f. krone July 31, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=375607]Terry[/re]: Not since 1981.

chascates July 31, 2009 at 3:40 pm

This has Karl Rove all over it. Shoot his sorry ass.

x111e7thst July 31, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=375631]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I will find a town hall to go to in August and hopefully a crazy-ass screaming idiot to punch in the throat.

S.Luggo July 31, 2009 at 3:41 pm

First tip-off: The letter wasn’t in Mexican.
Segundo: Very few taco stains.
Three: No well-worn holy card enclosed.
4th: Letter wasn’t signed by Anna Rosanna Danna.

Come here a minute July 31, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Dear Representative Congressman,

Por favor please do not raise the price of my electricity, I need it to make my delicious chimichangas.

Chaquita Guacamole
Federation of Latino Electric Power Consumption

Lord Growing July 31, 2009 at 3:49 pm

As penance, margaritas and mojitos will be served at this year’s Bonner Beach Party.

S.Luggo July 31, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=375641]McDuff[/re]: Carmen Miranda was from Brazil, Mister Big Rich American Gringo.

Current president of Argentina: Cristina Fernández de Kirchner

edgydrifter July 31, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Those fake letters? Oh, yeah, those were totally done by this one guy–Hugh G. Rection. Yeah, we totally fired his ass. Yeah, totally.

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: No, but neither is Bill Richardson. And Amanda Terkel doesn’t sound very Asian either. It’s a crazy, mixed-up melting pot we live in.

Smoke Filled Roommate July 31, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=375655]Come here a minute[/re]: P.S. “Taco Taco Taco; burrito, burrito.”

Brendan M. July 31, 2009 at 4:14 pm

[re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: [re=375638]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=375641]McDuff[/re]: [re=375690]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And does “Harvard professor Skip Gates” sound black? Also, did you ever consider that Mr. Freilich is a race traitor, hmm?

(Here’s what he looks like, if you’re interested; add a sombrero and he looks Mexican to me)

Doglessliberal July 31, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Is this thread making anyone else hungry?

Brendan M. July 31, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=375626]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: [re=375638]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=375641]McDuff[/re]:[re=375690]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Also, does “Harvard professor Skip Gates” sound black? And did you ever consider that Mr. Freilich is a race traitor, hmm?

(Here’s what he looks like, if you’re interested; add a sombrero and he looks Mexican to me)

McDuff July 31, 2009 at 4:27 pm

[re=375676]S.Luggo[/re]: American, check; gringo, check; rich — not; big — I’m not gonna brag.

Brendan M. July 31, 2009 at 4:46 pm

[re=375715]Brendan M.[/re]: It wasn’t clever enough to warrant saying it twice, jackass.

Extemporanus July 31, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=375676]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=375710]Brendan M.[/re]: I think I read in a book by Dustin Hoffman (or maybe Gregory Peck?) that all South Americans with a German last name are decendents of fugitive Nazi war dentists.

Case in point: Giselle Bünchen.

BlueStateLibtard July 31, 2009 at 5:21 pm

So, does this mean we can start writing fake letters from Blue Cross, Aetna, etc. to Repubatards and Blue Dogs that threaten to cut off campaign donations if they don’t support the public option? Their letterhead ought to be easy to find.

hobospacejunkie July 31, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=375774]Brendan M.[/re]: Don’t be modest. Of course it was! Do I hear three?

Norbert July 31, 2009 at 5:50 pm

“When it was revealed that a letter opposing an effort to lower the cost of prescription drugs actually came from Bonner and Associates, rather than a group of African-American charities, Bonner told a reporter: “It’s a great exercise in the First Amendment.”"

Hint: when it’s discovered you have committed a felony, you are supposed to lie and say you didn’t do it, not act like a smug little shit. Senor Bonner y Compadres need to fire their current legal team and get a new one because they are going to get a chance to exercise their right to toss some prison salad methinks.

AnnieGetYourFun July 31, 2009 at 5:58 pm

[re=375640]give us a bob[/re]: ” “gee, do I risk publicly exposing my felony act by mailing this fraud thingy off to an untrusted 3rd party?””

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I had to ask myself that.

[re=375812]Extemporanus[/re]: Have you ever met an Argentinian German and had trouble not being like “ARE YOU A NAZI’S CHILD?”. I have.

Norbert July 31, 2009 at 6:20 pm

[re=375868]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I dated a German Argentinian very briefly but she was not my soulmate — she was extremely hot but her secret room of Third Reich paraphernalia was a distinct turn off.

Extemporanus July 31, 2009 at 6:47 pm

[re=375868]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I just assume it to be an unspoken fact, and then ask them where in their backyard the jewelry and gold teeth are buried.

[re=375894]Norbert[/re]: I used to go see a German Argentinian dominatrix, but after that whole Sanford thing blew-up, her rates went through the roof. No more spanky-panky for me until that stimulus check arrives!

GreatOldOnesParty July 31, 2009 at 9:41 pm

[re=375617]Maxine of Arc[/re]: Any more ironic paradox and the universe will implode.

nappyduggs July 31, 2009 at 9:50 pm

Where were these fucks when I needed someone to fake me up a doctor’s note for missing two weeks of work while I stayed for free at my friends’ house in Cozumel?

YOU OWE ME A JOB!!!1!11!!

mauricewalkersiszlakIV July 31, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Let me get this straight: a lobbying firm did something dishonest by using a congressperson to undermine the good of the general public? And you saw fit to put this on the interwebnet? I guess this is what you “insiders” call a “slow news day”?

nader paul kucinich gravel August 1, 2009 at 12:42 am

Extortion Blackmail Bribery

mauricewalkersiszlakIV August 1, 2009 at 5:32 am

Oh, Boy!! Now America-hating “Think Progress” says there’s a hired, trained crew of out-of-work bitters touring our nation’s townhall meetings acting out, like that old lady with the birth certificate at the Castle one – astroturf, since that worked so well in the 2000 effort to install our previous beloved W. as Pres of Florida. The insurance lobby calls this “throwing money at the problem.” The papers won’t touch this – Gates’ beer is the news now.

Boondock Saint August 3, 2009 at 8:03 am

This sounds suspicious.

carlyt August 5, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Time to fire this firm and ban it from working in Washington or anywhere else. There is a related post at http://iamsoannoyed.com/?page_id=588

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